Total Drama Chris

Chapter 53: Day 25: Part 1: Pink Streaks Speed By

Chris stood on the Dock of Shame, making grand gestures as he spoke with his huge plastic smile. "Last time on Total Drama-"

"Not You!" Izzy exclaimed, peeking her head from underneath the dock.

"Great," Chris said, rolling his eyes. "You're back."

"Oh, don't worry," Izzy said, waving her hand dismissively. "I can't stay long, because I've found my E!"

"Found your E," Chris said, unmoved. "I have no idea what the hell you're talking about."

"You will," Izzy said, narrowing her eyes. "Oh, you will! And then you will rue the day you've mistreated us. Rue the day! Rue! RUE!" Izzy let go of the dock and fell into the lake below.

Chris looked confused, then shrugged. "That doesn't even make any sense. I'm not afraid of any… letters." Chris tapped his chin. "Except M, but man, that Munching Mouth guy was just creepy." Chris shuddered. "I mean, not that I know what that is, being that I'm not into baby stuff, like, at all. Still, not a fan of the letter M." Chris straightened himself out before continuing. "Last time, on Total Drama Chris, Bridgette, Lindsay, and Katie had to compete in a series of mini-challenges. The first one to fail at a challenge would be kicked off the island. And even though the challenges got harder and harder as they stayed in the game, somehow, despite my best efforts, they succeeded in each and every one of them."

Chris casually took out a blue envelope, waving it in front of his face. "This blue envelope was my little trump card. I was going to use it to automatically kick Katie off the island if no one fell by the thirteenth round, because, seriously, I didn't have all night, and besides, Katie totally deserves to lose." Chris sighed. "Except Lindsay gave me an offer I couldn't refuse. She was going to give Katie her free spin, allowing Katie to pass that so-called 'challenge' to the next person. To me, it sounded like Lindsay, being the idiot she is, forgot the rules, and would wind up accidentally kicking Bridgette off the island, and frankly, while she's not the pure evil entity that Katie is, she annoys me, too, and I just couldn't pass up the opportunity to have Lindsay's stupidity kick Bridgette off the island. Man, it would've been so funny, ha ha!"

Chris face turned angry, and he tore up the blue envelope, throwing blue confetti into the water. "When the hell did Lindsay become a diabolical mastermind? Seriously? And why the hell didn't Chef tell me he gave Lindsay a second free spin? He really deserves to be fired over that stupid little blunder!" Chris was breathing heavily. "Seriously, I had a really cool idea to get Katie eliminated, which turned into what would've been a huge controversy with viewers that got Bridgette eliminated to… an incredibly stupid self-sacrifice! Where's the ratings in that? And how could Chef not tell me something as vitally important as that second free spin?" Chris was conking his forehead with his fist. "So. Stupid. Lame!"

Chris sighed, as he faced the camera once more, smiling big. "But now, it is our final episode. We have two unworthy competitors left, both eyeing up that cool million. On the side of good-comparatively, at least-is the somewhat unattractive blonde bimbo Bridgette, who, I'd like to remind everyone, was supposed to have left us in the very first episode. How she's survived all the way to the end when she was hated enough to be voted off before everybody else, I don't really get." Chris' face turned sour. "And on the side of evil, of course, is Katie. And as unattractive as Bridgette may be, Katie's just plain hideous beyond reason. Least Bridgette doesn't make me want to tear my eyes out." Chris shuddered. "And of course, Katie was also supposed to be kicked off, back in the hot box challenge, and was only saved because she and Izzy totally conspired to cheat via those horrible, horrible loopholes that were intended for me and me alone to exploit! Argh!" Chris started tapping his chin. "Didn't Katie hate Bridgette early on, anyway? Whatever happened to that? I don't really get why they'd be friends with each other anyway, since neither one's very likable."

Chris started making more grand gestures and smiling bigger. "I'm sure most of you viewers would've liked to have seen an epic battle between Gwen and Courtney, going at each others throats, or Duncan and Beth, just to watch your favorite contestant absolutely demolish one of your least favorite ones in a ridiculously unfair match-up, but unfortunately, we are stuck with Bridgette and Katie." Chris sighed. "I guess Bridgette has a decent number of fans, at least, so I guess we'll get some people tuning in, at least. I know I've heard about some zombie-obsessed guy who likes her a lot, as well as Ezekiel, for some reason."

"I'm getting off topic, though," Chris stated, smiling into the camera. "For you guys, coming up, an epic battle, Bridgette versus Katie, good versus evil, annoying hippie girl versus annoying… annoying girl, coming up now, on Total! Drama! Chris!"


"This is it!" Katie said, balancing on the surfboard Leshawna had made. "I'm surfing! I'm surfing! Sadie would be so proud of me!"

Bridgette giggled. "Well, the waves aren't really too hard here, but yeah, you are getting the hang of it more."

"I'll need to get Sadie to do this with me sometime!" Katie exclaimed, then stared dreamily to the sky. "And Noah." Katie blew a kiss to the sky, then fell off the board, splashing into the lake.

"Might want to sit down if you're going to do that," Bridgette said, smiling.

Katie shrugged while floating in the water. "A little water never hurt anyone."

"Slipping?" Bridgette asked, raising an eyebrow. "Drowning?"

"You like it, though," Katie said, grinning. "You like this killer liquid!"

"That 'killer liquid' likes me, too," Bridgette said, using finger quotes. "I'm able to become one with the water. I'm like a fish. Or a dolphin."

"Dolphins are so cute!" Katie exclaimed, holding her hands together.

"So, today's the big day," Bridgette said, a bit nervous. "You ready for it?"

"I was born ready!" Katie exclaimed, then growled into the air.

"Can I ask what that was?" Bridgette asked

"I dunno'," Katie said, shrugging. "Just felt right."


Confession Outhouse

Katie: I really don't think I'll ever quite be at your level.
Bridgette: I don't know. My cousin Emma got a lot better pretty quickly.
Katie: And is she at your level?
Bridgette: Well, no, but that's not important. It's fun, right?
Katie: Yeah.
Bridgette: So you're not going to be as awesome as I am. (Bridgette points to herself proudly.) Not everyone can be.
Katie: Is that Chris' ego rubbing off on you?
(Bridgette smiles innocently.)


"This will be the quiche to end all quiche," Zoe said, smiling as she brought out breakfast to Bridgette and Katie in the dining hall. "No meat in yours, of course, Bridgette. You'll still like it, I think. Now eat up, since you'll want your strength for today's challenge."

"What is it?" Bridgette asked, then took a bite of her quiche. "This really is good!"

"I'm sworn to secrecy," Zoe said, raising her right hand. "I don't really know why. It's not that interesting, if you ask me, but at the same time, telling you beforehand doesn't really seem worth getting into an argument with Chris, either. Not in this case, anyway. Pretty boring challenge, if you ask me."

"What would you have done?" Katie asked, digging into her quiche quickly.

"I'll tell you two later," Zoe said. "You know, I'll miss you guys next season."

"You were pretty cool," Katie said, smiling. "I mean, aside from the whole food poisoning thing-"

"Not my fault," Zoe said, then sighed.

Katie giggled. "I know. Still fun to tease ya'!" Katie looked to Bridgette and smiled. "Remember last year, how you switched from supporting Gwen to supporting-"

"Really rather forget that," Bridgette said, rubbing her forehead. "That was wrong."

"Because I had a fun thought," Katie said, grinning. "Hope it isn't too mean, but I'm also kinda' hoping... well..."

"Do tell," Bridgette replied, smiling a bit herself.


Confession Outhouse

Bridgette: I can't believe I actually made it this far! I mean, sure, I was hoping I might, but I can't believe I made it, especially after I nearly got voted out on the very first day. (Bridgette wipes her forehead.) Geoff, I really miss you, and I know you sacrificed yourself to give me this chance, and I hope I can make it pay off. Literally. (Bridgette giggles a bit.)

Katie: (casually looking at her nails) I knew I could make it this far. I mean, I figured some sort of bad luck would happen again, like it did last year when me and Sadie got lost, which was totally not our fault, by the way, I mean, everyone else just abandoned us for some reason! Seriously, what was up with that? They were just as inattentive as we were, if you ask me.

Bridgette: And of course, Courtney, who's been a really good friend since last year, and, for the record, yes, I know you were a bit rough last year, but you were a good person. Leshawna, you know I forgive you, girl! Gwen, I know you were angry when I saw you the last time, but I still consider us to be friends, and I hope you do, too. (Bridgette sighs.)

Katie: Anyway, Noah, I really-wait, no, no! (Katie started waving her hand to the camera while covering her face with the other.) Sadie, I need to say hi to Sadie first! BFFFLs! (Katie hugs the air in front of the camera.) I've known you for years, and years, and like more years, Sadie, and you totally deserve to get the first bit of recognition for how special you are, and one of these days, you're going to find a guy who thinks you're hot, 'cause seriously, you are girl! (Katie giggles a bit.) Just a teensy bit less than me.

Bridgette: Eva, you're a great friend, and I hope more people can start seeing that. I mean, yes, you're a little scary, or a lot scary, but there's a great friend in there. Just try not to threaten their lives first. Ezekiel, you're a nice guy, and you just need to get used to this crazy world we live in. I'm sure you must be having lots of fun with Izzy! Lindsay, you've got a great mind. Not sure how it works, but it does, so don't stop with that great way of thinking you've got there. Cody, treat Eva well. Even though I'm sure she'll make sure you regret if you don't. And Katie, of course. You've really been a good friend. I mean, not that I ever disliked you, but yeah, I did kind of think you were a little bit annoying last year, and I'm sorry I didn't realize back then that there was more to you and Sadie than just that. Good luck, Katie!

Katie: Noah, you're awesome, too! I can't compare you to Sadie, since it's not really fair to my lifelong friend, but you're a great guy, even if you are stubborn, and whiny, and a bit of a know-it-all. (Katie grins deviously.) But you're my know-it-all, Noie! (Katie winks.) And of course, Bridgette, you're my BFFFL runner-up, in case Sadie should, for any reason, be unable to fulfill the position. Yeah, I was stupid earlier this season, with the whole stealing Trent thing, and you're like the nicest person ever for giving me another chance after that! And I can't believe I'm saying it, but Courtney, you've got a heart somewhere in there. Thank you for finally getting over the apple thing, and lightening up a bit.


Chris led Bridgette and Katie to a pair of bleachers around the middle of camp, painted blue on the left, and pink on the right. "Pretty soon, these bleachers will be filled with the twenty losers. You remember them, right?"

"Our friends, yes, I do believe we do remember them," Katie said, rolling her eyes.

"And you're going to ask them to choose sides, I take it," Bridgette stated.

"Well, yeah," Chris said, a bit confused. "I'm… not really sure how you knew that, but-"

"You did it last year," Bridgette said.

"And now, presenting your favorite losers!" Chris exclaimed, as Sadie came running through, glomping Katie.

"Eeeiii!" Sadie exclaimed, squeezing Katie tight.

"Eeeiii!" Katie squeed back, hugging her friend.

"You can breathe?" Bridgette asked, surprised.

"Oh yes, yes, yes, I'm used to this!" Katie exclaimed, as the two went into another squeeing fit.

"Wait, where was everyone else?" Chris asked, blinking in confusion.

"Oh, they're coming!" Sadie exclaimed. "I just kind of raced ahead of everyone else, since I was so excited to see Katie! Eeeiii!"

"Eeeiii!" Katie squeed again, still hugging Sadie.

"You're both annoying," Chris said, rolling his eyes.

"They're nice," Bridgette said.

"Not nice to my ears," Chris complained, angrily pointing to his ears.

"Let's get this party started!" Geoff exclaimed, rushing up to hug and kiss Bridgette. "You wouldn't believe how fast Sadie is."

"Me neither," Chris said, rubbing his chin in thought. "I didn't know fat people could run fast if their lives depended on it." The four contestants glared at Chris.

Sadie turned to Katie with a vicious grin. "Beat him for me!"

"Will do!" Katie exclaimed, saluting her friend.

Bridgette and Geoff were kissing, though Geoff pushed away. "We can't do this now, Bridge. You're still totally hot and stuff, but you need to concentrate on the game, babe. I'll be here for makin' out right after you win though!"

"Geoff," Bridgette said, smiling as she gave him a light hug, "you're so thoughtful."

"Geoff can think?" Chris asked, scratching his head.

"Oh shut up!" Bridgette snapped at Chris, then turned back to Geoff.

"You'll do great, babe!" Geoff exclaimed.

"Yes, she will," Courtney stated, as she was at the front of a large group of seventeen teenagers.

"It's about time you losers got here," Chris said, irritated.

"Oh hush," Courtney said, irritated. "Geoff was just really excited to see Bridgette and rushed ahead of us, and Sadie is unbelievably fast when she's excited."

"Yeah, but Katie's really fast even when she's not excited," Sadie said, blushing. "I could've never outrun an electrically charged killer dodge ball intent on my complete annihilation!"

"Aww, that's so sweet of you!" Katie said, hugging her friend again.

"That's really getting old, you know," Chris said, irritated.

Noah casually walked over to Katie, with a bored look on his face. "Katie," he stated.

"Noah," Katie stated, smirking, then glomped him, startling him.

"Aww, that's so sweet!" Sadie exclaimed, putting her hands together.

"So why did Sadie get here so much faster than you, anyway?" Katie asked, raising an eyebrow. "Seeing little cute me wasn't enough motivation to run to me?"

"No," Noah stated. "I don't run."

"You should try a little," Katie said, poking Noah's legs. "You do like to show off your nice legs after all."

"It's the summer," Noah stated. "It's hot. The shorts are breezier."

"And I'm sure the sweater vest is great in this weather, too," Katie said, smirking.

"It's stylish," Noah stated, crossing his arms over his chest.

"If you're a dork," Katie teased, sticking out her tongue.

"It's my style," Noah stated.

Katie glomped Noah and kissed him. "Yes it is."

"OK, enough with the introductions," Chris said, irritated. "Now, as you guys can see, we have a set of blue bleachers on the left, and a set of pink bleachers on the right."

"Did someone have a baby?" Lindsay asked, smiling. "Do Bridgette and Katie have to guess if it was a boy or a girl?"

"No," Chris said, irritated. "Bridgette wears a lot of blue, and Katie wears a lot of pink."

"Oh," Lindsay said, not getting it. "Does that mean Bridgette's a boy?" Noah and Cody started laughing. "OK, I totally don't get it," Lindsay said, scratching her bandanna.

"I don't want to get it," Gwen stated, irritated.

"Heather!" Katie exclaimed, beaming. "Your hair's beautiful!"

"Oh yeah," Bridgette said, smiling. "It does look nice."

"Thank you," Heather said, blushing. "Courtney and Leshawna got it for me."

"Yes, it's nice to see that you're the second prettiest one here once again," Chris stated. "But regardless of how hot you and Lindsay are, I'd really like to get back to me, thank you. These bleachers you see before you represent life!" Chris exclaimed in a serious voice, then lightened his tone. "And more importantly, who you want to see win. If you want Bridgette to win, please sit in the blue bleachers. If you'd like Katie to win, please sit in the pink bleachers." Geoff, Eva, Courtney, and Lindsay lined up on the bottom row of the blue set of bleachers, Leshawna, Heather, Gwen, and Trent lined up in the middle row, and Harold, Owen, Justin, and Beth lined up on the top row of the blue bleachers. Over on the pink side, Noah, Sadie, and DJ sat in the middle row, while Cody, Tyler, and Duncan sat on the top.

"Ha! You're on the wrong side, Owen, probably," Chris exclaimed, pointing at him.

"This isn't Bridgette's side?" Owen asked, confused. "I thought you said the blue side was Bridgette's."

"But… but it's blue," Chris said, blinking in confusion. "How do you even know what blue is?"

"Let me guess," Noah stated flatly. "You're surprised that Owen found the blue set of bleachers because you're thinking back to when he said he was colorblind. And you're apparently not intelligent enough to realize that most colorblind people do not see the world in black and white, and most of them have no trouble recognizing the color blue."

"Yeah, wait, what?" Chris asked, confused.


Confession Outhouse

Chris: (with his arms crossed over his chest) Colorblind my ass! Seriously, why do they call it colorblind if they can still see color?


"Duncan, get over here!" Courtney shouted from across the bleachers, irritated.

Duncan was leaning back, relaxing. "Nah. I want Katie to win."

"Do you even like Katie?" Courtney shouted, flustered.

"I don't dislike her," Duncan said, shrugging.

"Urgh!" Courtney yelled, stomping her foot.

"It's OK, Courtney," Bridgette said, a bit concerned. "Not everyone's going to like me. Back at school, there was a kid named Bryce who didn't really like me much."

"Jem's friend?" Lindsay asked, confused.

"Jem?" Courtney asked, now confused herself.

"I think she means Jewel, but no, a different Bryce," Bridgette said, shrugging. "It's fine, though. Not everyone's going to like everyone else." Bridgette looked over to Katie's bleachers. "I was more surprised that DJ went over to Katie's side, really. I thought he didn't like Katie. Did he like me even less?"

"Oh, I don't think it has anything to do with you," Gwen said, grinning, as she pointed over to the bleachers once more, where Sadie gave DJ a quick little kiss.

Bridgette giggled. "Guess he's going to have to make up with Katie sooner or later. Now's as good a time as any."


Confession Outhouse

Courtney: I am so having a talk with Duncan for choosing the wrong contestant to support in the finale! I mean, look, it's not that I dislike Katie, but Bridgette's like my best friend. (Courtney looks down nervously.) Or one of two best… you know, I'm a bit relieved that I didn't have to wind up choosing between Bridgette and Lindsay, really.

DJ: I know I was hard on Katie before, but she was really buggin' me, you know? Still, Sadie's a sweet girl, and I know they're BFFFL's, so for Sadie's sake, I really need to try to get along better with Katie.

Bridgette: You know, it's kind of funny how many people we know who all have the same name. How many Bryces, Jewels, and Bridgettes are there, anyway?


Chris yawned. "You know, I'm sure this is going to be a snoozer, but Bridgette, what do you plan to do with your million dollars, should you win it?"

"I really don't know," Bridgette said. "Not entirely, at least. I'd love to give it to a great animal's rights group, since I worry that they need help, and a certain big name group which shall remain nameless I have concerns about." Bridgette started smiling more. "I also worry about the environment, worried about the pollution that oil is putting into the air now, and worried about whether or not global warming is real."

"It's real," Gwen stated.

"It's false," Courtney stated. "It's all about-"

"Look, you guys, I didn't mean to start a debate," Bridgette said. "I don't know how much truth there is to it, but I do know that I don't really like taking unnecessary risks, and besides, even if it isn't real, do we really want dirty air, anyway? I'd like to help put an end to it."

"A million dollars isn't going to be enough to stop it, you know," Chris said, rolling his eyes.

"I know," Bridgette said, smiling, with her hands in her pockets. "Every little bit helps, though."

"Cough, lame, cough," Chris stated, shaking his head. "So pitiful that I couldn't even put forth any effort into the fake coughing bit." Chris sighed and looked to the sky. "OK Katie, being evil and all, I'm sure you have something more interesting than that, at least. What do you plan to do with your million dollars?"

"I plan to have a rockin' yacht party, and everyone's invited, oh, but only the people who are supporting me!" Katie exclaimed, grinning wide.

"I'm game," Justin said, shrugging, as he was about to walk over to Katie's side, but Beth angrily tugged at his arm, pulling him back "Ow, what was that about?" Everyone else waited for a while, but no one budged.

"I'm proud of you guys," Bridgette said, smirking. "Gwen, I just wanted to say that I'm really, really-"

"You already apologized," Gwen said, smiling.

"We just wanted to test you guys, anyway," Katie said, grinning. "I'm not really throwing my money away on a yacht party, but I wanted to make sure we were being supported for the right reasons."

"Wait, there was a yacht party?" Owen exclaimed, going wide-eyed.

"Um… were you paying attention?" Bridgette asked, confused.

"I was hungry," Owen said, twiddling his fingers. "Which one of you is having the yacht party, though, so I can switch sides in case it wasn't you, Bridgette?" Bridgette sighed.

"OK, so what stupid thing are you throwing your money away on?" Chris asked, irritated.

"I really don't know," Katie said, rubbing her shoe against the ground. "I mean, I'm totally getting a pink Volkswagen-"

"Wait, why a Volkswagen?" Duncan asked, surprised. "You can afford any of the coolest cars in the world, and you'd want a stupid, girly Volkswagen?"

"I am a girl, you know," Katie said, raising an eyebrow.

Chris shrugged. "Could've fooled me. Don't most girls your age have breasts?"

"She has them, you idiot," Noah stated, angry. "They're beautiful, thank you very much." Everyone stared curiously at Noah, who, after a few seconds, went wide-eyed, then immediately took out a book and buried his head inside.

"Please leave Noah alone, you guys," Katie said, smiling. "We all heard it, and I think we should be nice and just pretend we didn't hear it."

"Done," Chris said, looking disgusted.


Confession Outhouse

Chris: And people call me a pedophile! Look at Noah, the horn dog! (Chris shakes his head.) Such a shame.

Chef: (looking over papers) Is Chris even aware that Katie's a few months older than Noah?

Sadie: Oh, you have got to tell me the details!
Katie: I will, Sadie, I promise. When we get back home.
Sadie: But isn't this the confessional? Everything you say in here-
Katie: Is aired for the whole world to see.
Sadie: Oh yeah, sorry. I can wait to get back home.
Katie: I'll tell you everything!
Sadie: (gasps) You mean you two did-
Katie: What, no! I wouldn't do that here, I'm a good girl! (Katie taps her chin.) Good-ish.
Sadie: I was about to correct you there.
Katie: (smiling innocently) You know, I happened to notice that you and DJ were a little chummy.
Sadie: He's not chubby, he's muscular. (Sadie swoons.) So powerful and muscu-
Katie: I said chummy, you know.
Sadie: Oh, sorry. (Sadie nervously taps her fingers together.) Kinda' used to all the kids calling me-
Katie: I know, there's no reason to rehash it now, though.
Sadie: (hugging Katie) You are like the best BFFFL ever!
Katie: I know, and you're like the best BFFFL ever's BFFFL!
Katie and Sadie: Eeeiii!


Chris looked to Katie and Bridgette. "You two know what you have to do, right?"

"Not really, Bridgette said, rubbing her arm. "You didn't really tell us what the challenge was."

"Huh?" Chris asked, blinking. "Oh yeah, that. Well, it's a race! Each of you will come to eight checkpoints, at which point you'll have to choose between challenge A or challenge B. Each challenge is based on one of the twenty-four challenges you've already fought through, and mostly failed at."

"Failed at?" Katie asked, raising an eyebrow. "We're still here, you know."

"By pure luck," Chris said, irritated. "Your team lost nine of the first twelve challenges, as I recall."

"And then won eleven in a row... wait," Katie said, counting on her fingers. "We only had twenty-three challenges. There was no twenty-fourth one, I mean, not counting this one, but we didn't exactly fight through this one yet."

"I think Katie's right," Bridgette said, starting to count to herself.

"You two are idiots, you know that," Chris stated, irritated.

"They're right," Courtney stated, irritated herself. "There were only twenty-three challenges, up until this one."

"There were twenty-four," Gwen said, irritated. "One of them was only for the people who'd already lost, though, so yeah, you two only played twenty-three of them.."

"Wasn't really a fair challenge either," Heather said, crossing her arms over her chest, then turned to Gwen. "I'm still not sure whether it was beneficial for you or not that you won."

Gwen shrugged. "I'm really not sure, either. I wasn't exactly in a great state of mind, but I'd still have liked to win the million dollars."

"That would've been nice, really," Heather stated, smiling.

"Twenty-three, twenty-four, no one really cares!" Chris yelled, stomping his foot. "Point is, you'll do a mini-version of sixteen of the challenges in this race." Chris handed a map to Bridgette, and another to Katie. "These maps will tell you where the eight checkpoints are. You must go to each one, in order, then head for the next one after the task your assigned is complete. After the eighth one is completed, you must head back to the finish line which… isn't here yet." Chris slapped his face in frustration. "Chef! Where's the finish line?" Chris looked around nervously. "Chef? OK, seriously, where are you?"

"So I guess you'll have to put up the finish line, then," Katie said, smirking.

"I hate you," Chris said, shaking his head. "I really hate you." Chris sighed, then turned to the contestants in the bleachers. "Just like last year, you twenty guys can help out and or cheat in any way you wish to help your preferred contestant win."

"He really can't count," Gwen stated, smirking. "Izzy's not here."

"Oh, yes, that," Chris stated, irritated. "Her stupid little rendezvous with the letter E. Of course." Chris shook his head. "She is insane, you guys know. At least I won't have to put up with her for much longer."

"The producers like her," Heather said, smirking. "I'm doubting you have the power to fire her."

"The producers love me!" Chris exclaimed, pointing to himself. "I'm the main reason people watch, and when I say 'jump,' they say 'how high'!" Chris' cell phone started to ring, and he gulped before nervously taking it out of his pocket to answer it. "Hell-" Chris was blown back a bit from the screaming coming out of the phone, and took a few seconds to regain his composure. "How high?" Chris was again blown back by the angry screaming, and then climbed to the top of Katie's bleachers and jumped off. "OK, happy?" Chris held the phone away from him before the yelling started again. "Yes, correct as usual. Goodbye." Chris hung up the phone, and then shuddered, then walked back to in front of the bleachers.

"We can tell how much the producers like you," Gwen said, chuckling.

"That was just a bill collector, hate those guys," Chris said, then shuddered again. "Anyway, go." Bridgette and Katie looked at each other, a bit confused. "Did you hear me?" Chris asked, annoyed. "Go! Go! Sheesh!" Bridgette and Katie ran off in the distance, and Chris turned back to the nineteen losers.

"You could make it clearer when you want the contestants to begin, you know," Courtney stated flatly.

"I don't tell you how to do your job," Chris said, narrowing his eyes.

"Actually, you do," Courtney stated.

"This whole contestant thing doesn't count as a job, so ha!" Chris exclaimed smugly, then pulled out a few maps, and tossed them to the ground. "If you want to help out your friends for some reason, here's some maps for you guys to-" Chris was cut off as a couple of pink blurs shot past him, nabbing some maps, and spinning Chris around. "What was that?" Chris shouted.

"Geoff and Sadie, it looks like," Noah stated, looking a bit surprised. "Surprisingly speedy, apparently."

"Are you going to just leave those on the ground?" Gwen asked, annoyed.

"Yes, yes I am," Chris said, grinning. "I like them there. Don't tell me you're turning into Bridgette too, now."

"I like the planet," Gwen stated. "There's nothing wrong with not wanting it destroyed."

"Look, I'm not Ted Turner. I don't care!" Chris shouted.

"We can show him up later," Heather said. "Right now we want to help Bridgette win, right?"

"No sabotage," Gwen stated.

Heather started tapping her fingers nervously. "Even for purposes of a greater good?"

"You were really thinkin' it, weren't you?" Leshawna asked, surprised.

"I thought maybe you guys might approve if it was for a good cause, really," Heather said, nervous.

Gwen sighed. "Fair enough, but I really wouldn't be comfortable sabotaging Katie, so let's not do that."

"It bothers me a little that you had to ask," Leshawna said, shaking her head.

"The nice thing's still a little new, OK?" Heather said, rolling her eyes. "I thought helping Bridgette was nice."

"Well, your heart was in the right place," Leshawna said. "Still, really, bad idea."


Confession Outhouse

Courtney: (holding a handsaw behind her back) In Heather's defense, I kind of thought the sabotage idea was good, too.


"Eeeiii!" Sadie squeed, glomping Katie from behind, knocking them both to the ground.

"Sadie, I need to hurry," Katie said, concerned. "You know, the race?"

"Oh, yeah, sorry," Sadie said, embarrassed, picking herself and Katie up from the ground. "Run, Katie, run!"

"That was such a great movie, wasn't it?" Katie said, wiping a tear from her eye. "So beautiful. Why did Jenny have to-"

"I didn't make the reference on purpose, just run!" Sadie shouted, worried. "I want you to win too, you know."

"Oh, right, sorry," Katie said, embarrassed.


Confession Outhouse

Sadie: You and me, such an awesome team!
Katie: The best team! But it almost feels unfair, since Bridgette doesn't have a BFFFL like you.
Sadie: Aren't like she and Courtney BFFFLs?
Katie: (tapping her chin) You know, I actually have no idea.


Bridgette made her way to the top of the thousand-foot cliff, where Chef was waiting beside a wooden sign with a large '1' painted on it. "Made it!" Bridgette exclaimed, a little short of breath. "So what's the first challenge?"

Chef was reading awkwardly from a card he was holding. "You… must choice… no, choose. You must choose A or B for… you… challenge."

"Well, I kind of like B," Bridgette said, smiling. "B for Bridgette. I'll go with B."

"Good choice," Chef said, nodding. "Your task is to dig a grave and put a coffin into it."

"What coffin?" Bridgette asked, looking around.

Chef looked around as well, and scratched his head, then took the '1' sign out of the ground. "Just bury this."

"Do I get a shovel?" Bridgette asked, rubbing her forehead.

"One somewhere 'round here," Chef said, irritated. "I don't know where it is, just… somewhere." Bridgette sighed.


Confession Outhouse

Courtney: Really, no sabotage?
Lindsay: Didn't you and Katie make up?
Courtney: Well, yes, but still, Bridgette's like… well, she deserves to win.
Lindsay: I know. But it wouldn't be that bad if Katie won.
Courtney: (crossing her arms over her chest) Bridgette deserves to win.
Lindsay: I think Bridgette would be happy if Katie won.


"We're here!" Katie exclaimed, as she and Sadie made it to the top of the thousand-foot cliff. "I think… wasn't there supposed to be a sign?"

"You're here, and you get challenge A!" Chef barked, then took out a card. "You have to leap off the thousand foot cliff, and maybe survive."

Katie looked confused. "Didn't the original challenge involve collecting balls with-"

"No ball talk out of you!" Chef barked, as he threw Katie off the cliff. "Go!" Katie screamed as she fell toward the lake.

"Katie!" Sadie cried out, and leapt after her. "I'm coming for you!" Chef looked down and shook his head.


Confession Outhouse

Chef: Fat girl didn't have to jump. Think she's gone insane. War can do that to a person, though. I've seen it myself. (Chef shook his head.) Poor, poor Groucho. Man was a great leader. And then he thought he was a duck.

Katie: You know you didn't have to jump.
Sadie: (embarrassed) I wasn't really thinking.
Katie: It was sweet, though.
Sadie: Aww, you're so nice!
Katie: I know!
Katie and Sadie: Eeeiii!


"Bridge!" Geoff exclaimed, running up to Bridgette, who was on the top of the cliff, looking for a shovel. "Are you playing hide-and-seek or something?"

"She's looking for a shovel," Chef said, standing nearby, then picked up the sign with the '1' painted on it. "Needs to bury this ASAP-where did boy dumb blond go?"

"That's… I don't know?" Bridgette asked, looking around, confused. "And could you please not call him dumb?"

"Here, babe!" Geoff exclaimed, running up toward Bridgette, then digging like mad. "Saw it on my way up here. There!" Geoff stood back, admiring his grave digging skills. "Now hurry up and throw that bad baby in there so you can get on and win this thing!"

"Thank you, Geoff!" Bridgette exclaimed, hugging Geoff.

"Not now," Geoff said, frowning. "I mean, I'd love to, but you really have to hurry to win that million dollars!" Geoff exclaimed.

"Oh, right. Right!" Bridgette exclaimed, snapping herself out of her lovey-dovey trance.

"I'm not gonna' make you lose this one, Bridge!" Geoff exclaimed, as the two started running off, in search of the second checkpoint.


Confession Outhouse

Sadie: It's so sweet how Geoff's helping out Bridgette.
Katie: And so sweet of him to remember that it's a bad time to make out with her.
Sadie: And so sweet of Bridgette not to be stealing Trent from-
Katie: That didn't happen.
Sadie: (waving her hand dismissively) I know she couldn't steal Trent from me or you, because Trent liked Gwen, and not us. But I meant that she couldn't take Trent away from Gwen.
Katie: She was so saving his life, you know.
Sadie: (tapping her chin in thought) Oh, yeah. I'm a little stupid. I do wish Noah were here helping you win, though, since Bridgette has her boyfriend, and all.
Katie: (sighing, resting her head in her arms) Yeah….


"We are all agreed on this, right?" Heather asked to Gwen and Leshawna, not far from the bleachers.

"I still feel a little bad about it," Gwen said, looking guilty. "I mean, Geoff's a nice guy, and he means well…."

"He's also going to make Bridgette lose this thing," Leshawna said. "We all know white boy's gonna' be makin' out with her, and she's gonna' lose focus on winning."

"Correct," Heather stated. "If Geoff's tagging along, Bridgette will not win, and I know you two are good friends with Bridgette, and really, she does deserve to win."

"And it's a whole lot better than sabotaging Katie," Leshawna said, smiling, crossing her arms over her chest. "Really, I don't get why you thought of that before you thought of just helping Bridgette out."

Heather shrugged. "Old habits die hard sometimes, but at least I can admit that I can be wrong sometimes."

"So we're taking out Geoff," Gwen said, smirking, as she, Leshawna, and Heather put her hands together, and lifted them.

"Bridgette's going to thank us for this later," Heather said, smiling bright, as she hugged Gwen and Leshawna.


Confession Outhouse

Courtney: (arms crossed over her chest, turned away from Duncan) Bridgette's my friend!
Duncan: And she's not mine, deal with it!
Courtney: You have stupid reasons for not liking Bridgette, anyway!
Duncan: And you have stupid reasons for not like Katie.
Courtney: (flustered) I-I like Katie!
Duncan: (smirking) Sure, you do.
Courtney: I already forgave her for the stupid apple thing!
Duncan: (smirking still) Sure, you did.
Courtney: Cut that out!
Duncan: And what if I don't?
Courtney: Urgh!
Duncan: Three, two, one-
(Courtney glomps Duncan, knocking them both to the floor, below the camera.)
Courtney: You're still an ogre.
Duncan: And you're still making out with an ogre.


"You're so smartical!" Lindsay exclaimed, smiling bright, standing at a sign marked with a '2,' along with Courtney and Emily.

"Is smartical a word?" Emily asked, putting her finger to her chin in thought.

"No, but that's not important," Courtney stated, looking serious. "Chris did not actually say that Bridgette had to complete each challenge. If Lindsay or I is particularly adept at a particular challenge, we can complete it for her. And if not, we can get a head start on getting to the third checkpoint, where we may find a challenge there tailored to our talents."

Emily started chuckling. "Lindsay sure does have talent. You do too, though!"

Courtney slapped her face in frustration. "OK, seriously, would you let me in on the joke? I have a sense of humor!"


Confession Outhouse

Lindsay: That's really weird. I don't ever remember Makoto talking about talent like that. (Lindsay hangs her head in shame.) You'd think I'd remember, as much as I used to watch Sailor Moon.

Courtney: (glaring angrily) Noah and Cody are so dead when I see them again.

Harold: Why did you want me in here?
Heather: (caressing Harold's neck) You've been wanting a little love, but I've seen Geoff and Bridgette enough to know that not everyone really likes seeing that sort of thing shoved in their faces. I'd still quite enjoy a makeout session, though.
Harold: (Harold takes Heather's hand and kisses it.) M'lady.
Heather: (blushing) It would be an honor, m'lord. (Heather grabs Harold and kisses him, clinging tight.)


"So who will win?" Chris asked, trying to put up one of the finish line poles. "Will it be boring Bridgette or Chaotic Katie? Who will win one million dollars?" Chris fell backwards, with the pole falling on top of him. "Will anyone help poor me put up this stupid finish line? Find out, coming up on Total Drama Chris." Chris tried lifting the pole off of him, but he dropped it onto his body again. "Ow… seriously, can't one of you help me here?"

"I think you could use the workout," Eva said, smirking.

"Really guys, I'm stuck!" Chris whined.