Chapter 52 - Lifework

The NID didn't have much change in heart after the briefing. Sha're was now as Teal'c had been, only worse. Teal'c had been raised, perhaps brainwashed, to believe in the Goa'uld. Sha're had the memories of one in her mind. Daniel didn't dare to fight them on the point, not when everything was so close in balance.

The one thing on his side was the cautions about diplomacy lately. Sha're would probably be considered a leader figure to the Abydonians, and was also a de facto ambassador from the Tok'ra. And the NID weren't sure what they believed, but they couldn't afford to completely disregard Sha're's extensive testimony about the Tok'ra. They were no longer named as enemies, but certainly not allies yet. Much like Sha're, who was required to both stay on base and be subject to both physical and psychological check-ups on a regular basis.

Daniel worried, but as that was as far as it went, he took what he could get. Sha're, while not given a general keycard, could walk around without an armed guard and open the door to her room. Their room, now. Daniel announced that he was not going to be going back to his apartment, and everyone seemed to approve. He even had the NID's support, as there would always be an eye on Sha're.

And Daniel didn't intend taking his eyes off of her for quite some time. Despite the worries, she was here, and she was herself, and all the pent-up frustration and pain were fading faster than he could tell. Peace and love filled him, even as he looked to Shifu. Shifu, who wasn't his, no matter what he and Sha're promised to each other. Someday, he promised to himself, he'd overcome the hurt with love.

"Do you want to go to your people before tonight?" Daniel asked, as he helped Sha're finish arranging their room. "I could make it happen, I think."

"Not yet," said Sha're, holding the incense that Daniel had always kept in his lab, and smiling. "Shifu has been too quiet today, and that can only mean one thing."

Daniel's brow furrowed.

Sha're sighed, looking at him. "Dan'yel, you will have to learn, our child is not a good one. He does not care about our sleep or our nerves."

"Well, I don't think babies can," said Daniel.

"Yes, I know, he doesn't mean it," said Sha're, smiling at Shifu, who lay on his back on the bed drooling and looking up at the ceiling, kicking out with short fat legs. "But it is troubling in any case."

Daniel nodded, thinking to himself.

"Do you know this one thing, Dan'yel?" Sha're asked, her tone brighter as she looked up at him. He saw her eyes dance and started to worry. "You have missed a month of taking your turn with both colic and diapers. I shall be watching with peace as you make it up."

Daniel paused, uncertain and not quite happy with that idea. But then he looked at Sha're, looked at his son, and nodded. It was worth the sacrifices.

ooooooo

With the day nearly done, only one loose end remained for Sam and Jolinar. Jolinar easily matched Martouf's broad smile as he waited with a blanket by the rings, ready to take them up to the surface.

Sam had been a part of this ritual a few times now, but tonight felt different. They had brought some food to eat together as the sun dipped behind the horizon, the sand a sea around them. It wasn't just the warmth that somehow Sam had come to tolerate, but something deeper. She wasn't just an outsider, someone off in the mental distance. When Jolinar looked up into Martouf or Lantash's face, Sam was there.

"Life has not been smooth for you recently, beloved," Lantash said quietly, one arm resting loosely around Jolinar's waist as she leaned against him, both of them staring out into the oncoming night.

"Hm," was all Jolinar acknowledged.

"Everywhere you turn, a new surprise mission," Lantash continued to comment. Jolinar's brow barely furrowed, but he wasn't looking down at her. "Each more difficult."

Jolinar said nothing, and Lantash turned his head to look down at her. "Do you think it will end?"

"There is no one so continually downtrodden as that, my love," she chided lightly, seriously, looking back up into his eyes. Both the golden sunset and the soft glow of emotion colored his eyes into something soft and beautiful to her.

"So it is just poor luck, all that has happened to you?"

Then Jolinar found it hard to meet his gaze. It was easy to be straightforward to the Council, hide the truth that wouldn't matter after this mission. But not to Lantash. Not to Martouf. Jolinar was another, better, person with them. So she tried to hold their gaze, and didn't answer.

Lantash's eyes tightened infinitesimally, but he said nothing either. His arm pulled her a little tighter to him, and only after a minute did he say quietly, "Even Martouf will admit that it seems unfair."

Jolinar wanted to come back as she always did, say that fairness didn't matter, that there really was no such thing in life, especially not with her. But as Sam perhaps felt more keenly, at the moment the universe did feel unfairly against them. Perhaps they'd goaded it, chosen this path. But not all of it.

Sam felt the pain of loss, even as Martouf and Lantash were so close. She was reminded just how this tore at this marriage, and that knowledge hurt almost more than the deep longing that Jolinar couldn't hide. That even Sam felt, in this moment.

The night was almost on them, the warmth almost gone from the air. Martouf was in control again, and he turned, ready for the soft goodnight kiss as always.

Sam swallowed, and felt and thought all in an instant, and there was no wait time for Jolinar. Looking up into the eyes of her beloved mate, she felt the new limits, and was eager in her gratitude.

"Tonight is different," she whispered. She reached up a hand to Martouf's neck, and caught sight of the intensifying glow in his eyes as she pulled him in for a much deeper kiss than planned.

The control was still tight, as it had to be, but after all these weeks it felt like letting go of everything. Jolinar opened herself to them with the kiss, body and mind, and Martouf answered, pulling her tightly to him, his mouth reaching for hers.

She wound her arms around him, feeling the muscles beneath his tunic with indulgent pleasure, letting each touch of his linger. His fingers ran soft circles on her back, gentle enough not to ignite completely the fire that threatened. They had permission, but it was not full yet.

Sam let herself float along, as she had no other choice. And most of her understood, if anything could be understood in this haze of primal emotions and barely-held control, that she didn't really want another choice.

Even so, the control still won out in the end. Jolinar broke for breath, Lantash now in control almost not wanting to let her. She inhaled deeply, then leaned into him, letting out her breath as a signal that this was as far as they could go. His arms loosened somewhat around her as he let out his own sigh, satisfaction and yearning both entwined in it.

It was soon late, and they lay back on the blanket side by side, staring up at the stars. Martouf put out his arm, and Jolinar rested her head on it, her hands folded across her chest. She had never quite lost Sam, not tonight, but now she fell back into the pool of thought they both shared. It was late, and their mission began tomorrow.

They fell asleep with the stars as witnesses, close but not close enough.

ooooooo

"I noticed you didn't stop to ask me if I needed a carpool, now that you live on base," said Mckay as he passed Daniel in the hall next morning.

"I thought you were okay to drive," said Daniel. "Didn't Frasier and Brymon clear you?"

"Yes, but we hadn't arranged that," Mckay said.

"Sorry," said Daniel. "I was a bit busy."

"Yes, about that," Mckay said, turning to face Daniel and walk backwards a few steps, one hand raised. "You're not going to let this whole family thing distract you too much, are you?"

Daniel blinked. "You mean apart from the given? Well, things are a bit chaotic now, but I don't think that will last. I hope it doesn't last."

Mckay nodded, taking the next turn on his way to his lab. Daniel's brow furrowed as he realized that, despite Mckay's backwards priorities, he had a point. His life hadn't been busy before—it was essentially the SGC.

The thought vanished as he neared his lab and heard the phone ringing. Careful not to spill coffee from his mug, he hurried in, picking it up one with one hand. "This is Dr. Jackson."

"Dr. Daniel Jackson, I presume?"

"Oh," said Daniel, surprised. "Jean Miller, right? And yes, you have the right number."

"I did tell you I'd call back."

"Yes, I know," said Daniel. "I get a little scatterbrained when things are hectic, that's all."

"Oh. I was going to tell you that Kaleb and I will be in the area tomorrow, and we wanted the tour you promised. But if it's a bad time..."

"Oh no, it's not that," said Daniel. "My wife came back, with our son, and it's...well, it's complicated."

"Classified complicated or normal complicated?"

"The former," Daniel said with a sigh. "Anyways, so you'll be stopping by then?"

"Yes, and I'll tell you, our expectations are high."

"I'd say not high enough, but I don't want to scare you off," said Daniel. "We'll be expecting you, then. I'll make sure NORAD knows."

Jean said goodbye, and Daniel hung up the phone.

"Who's coming through NORAD?" Mckay asked, suddenly at Daniel's door.

"A new scientist," Daniel said, remembering who she was in relation to Mckay just at that moment. "What are you doing here?"

"And you're in contact?" Mckay asked skeptically.

Daniel paused for a second, wondering how to tell him. Then, he smiled inwardly, and knew what he wanted to do. "Would you prefer being the one to give them the tour?"

Mckay hesitated. "I don't do tours."

"I don't either," said Daniel with a shrug. "But you're the leader of the division she's interested in, so...I guess I could get Tobias to do it, since it was her recruit."

"No, I can handle it," said Mckay swiftly. "Tomorrow, right?"

Daniel nodded. "Mckay, what are you doing here in the first place?"

Mckay paused, looked past Daniel as he seemed to be trying to grab a stray thought. "Oh—just, make sure you check your memos, even if you aren't spending as much time in your lab. I do not need more of a time lag than is already there."

"You don't send me memos," said Daniel.

"No, but I'm waiting in the briefing room having to waste my time because you didn't get the General's," said Mckay.

Daniel half-snorted and looked over his glasses.

"When I'm on time, yes, don't give me that look," Mckay muttered, glaring a bit as he turned to leave.

Daniel went back to his work, deciding just how much of Mckay's bluster was denial in this case. Probably not much, he concluded, but there might have been a hint of disappointment. Daniel figured that his odd companionship with Mckay was partly because they had allied in the face of military pressure, sharing the same passion and workaholic bachelor actions. Losing a piece of that might be affecting Mckay.

But even more interesting, where the scientist was concerned, was that Daniel had set him up to meet his sister unawares tomorrow. And Daniel was sure to be there for that meeting.

ooooooo

Dorieth waited for Sam and Jolinar, and it did not notice the change. In it for the long haul now, they relaxed just a little on the procedures. No need to absorb everything that was going on in every moment; the cover was more important, and that called for ease and confidence.

Sam needed to lay out the facets clearly to herself, and Jolinar didn't object to the clarity. Discover more of Quetesh's plan. Set in motion a counter plan. That was simple enough, but further down, there were the temple and the Abydonians and the Jaffa.

Jolinar watched as the slaves still worked in the fields. Once muddy and drab, the plains now grew lush and rich. The paths and improved irrigation ditches had come together slowly, as everything seemed to do when limited to manual labor. Sam wondered if a Goa'uld would ever grow weary of hiding technology and just use it, no "magic of the gods" excuse.

Jolinar herself inspected the quality of the paving stones, as the road itself expanded ever further. The quarry that provided them, a type of shale as far as Sam could label it, had produced good quality material for the first part of the road. However, the farther the road reached, the more Jolinar noticed a crumbling quality to some of the stones. She put on a facade of disapproval, and used it to get a tour of the quarry itself.

"These tools are deficient," Jolinar stated, and as Coron she only touched them with distaste. "How long since they were properly sharpened?"

Rodon, her Jaffa delegate for this aspect on this planet, sent a sharp glare to one of the slaves, who stumbled to answer. "Too long, my lord. They were not intended for this kind of work."

"Rodon, I trust you to have that mended before I notice the quality shift again," Jolinar finished, speaking without looking the Jaffa in the eye.

His sun-browned face darkened with worry as Jolinar caught his look out of the corner of his eye. Jolinar did care about the workmanship, but it was still an exaggeration. And Sam's thoughts started spinning again.

*I feel only thoughtfulness—what is it?*

~Just thinking about things way far off in the plan. How are we going to defeat Quetesh eventually?~

*Ah, the simple questions.*

~And? We can't do it alone, can we?~

*The usual way would call for some infiltration and using her power against her, but balanced with a limited rebellion among her slaves. We do not use such drastic measures as these often, though.*

Jolinar led them up to the temple, her own thoughts taking all Sam's speculations and running with them, not paying so much attention to where Sam's thoughts were headed now.

~So, I take it we can't be part of that?~ Sam queried after a moment. ~I mean, provoking the riot.~

*No, we are the infiltration, manipulating the power structure to suit our needs.*

~I'm just thinking though,~ Sam continued, and Jolinar took a breath and left her thoughts on the temple. ~Teal'c. He was first prime, he had position and respect, and by throwing that all away he did gain some followers.~

*But not all, I see,* said Jolinar, both feeling and knowing from Sam's memories. *It would be dangerous for us as well as the movement. Better to have an instigator from among the lower ranks.*

~I just don't know about that,~ said Sam. ~It's going to be tough to gain respect that way. If we, proving ourselves Quetesh's loyal follower over many weeks, start sowing doubt, it will sink in before they know what they're thinking.~

*And if they suspect, there may be another coup. We are not trained to handle something so delicate, and it is not worth the risk.*

Sam wasn't sure what Jolinar was overlooking, but she felt that it was there. Even so, she couldn't counter that statement, and so she let the thoughts simmer in the back of her mind, hoping the one she was trying to grasp onto would float to the top.

Jolinar frowned as she walked the perimeter of the temple. More pieces were in place, filling out the design that was only obviously complex upon close inspection. Instead of each section being fully completed at once, the basic structure for it all had been assembled, followed by the sub-sections, and so forth. Now it seemed almost all but the minor details were remaining. It was still another couple weeks out to completion, but Jolinar worried what that day would bring.

Her mind shifted back to the other projects on this planet, for a moment overviewing them for any obvious connection. Were the crops and naquadah mining really just to support the temple and its workers? Was it just a conglomeration that seemed to work?

~Is there a traditional structure to Goa'uld home-worlds?~ Sam asked.

Jolinar answered negatively. In fact, as Sam saw from her thoughts, the idea of a home-world was not necessarily universal.

They walked down the temple steps, soaking up the sun after their recent days in the Tok'ra underground. The tunnel lights were meant to provide the same health of sun, but synthetic always lacked something according to Jolinar. Sam wasn't intellectually sure...but feeling the heat of the sun on their skin, the bright golden color that it granted to everything around them. There was definitely benefit in that.

Passing through the village, Sam noticed one of the Abydonian women, and wondered just how they would manage to rescue them from the crowd in the end. Especially as Kasuf still refused to believe their story. And then, in that moment, her thoughts fit together.

~Jolinar, we don't just have to be infiltrators. Or rather, we can take that one step further.~

*Hmm?*

~Eventually, we let a few of the Abydonians in on the plan. They can start the thoughts of rebellion, but under our direction. And maybe—Bra'tac. Teal'c's old master, I think, but definitely a leader among the Jaffa rebellion. We work with him, he can deal with the Jaffa.~

*Why would we deal with the Jaffa? You keep mentioning this, but it is not our way.*

~Because they'd be powerful allies, if convinced. You're working toward the same thing they want, freedom. Even if we just had a couple...~

Jolinar paused, looking around the settlement. Sam's thoughts affected what she saw, and the Jaffa shifted from dangerous tools to slaves, just of a higher importance. She frowned, looking for a way to grasp fully onto this thought.

*The Tok'ra do not need a full Jaffa rebellion. It would be worse than Quetesh's actions.*

~So we talk to them, ally with them. Bra'tac knew me and would probably speak to me, even if no one else. But we explain that the Tok'ra plan is long-term, and I think he has the power to get them to cooperate. We can work together.~

*For this one mission, or forever? The Jaffa are not trustworthy allies.*

~Maybe not now, but you haven't seen what they will do for freedom. And giving trust is a good way to get it, remember? This one mission would be a big step for them in any case. If it's completed, and Quetesh's Jaffa are freed, that would be enough to keep them occupied for some time.~

Jolinar's frown deepened, but the less negative thoughts couldn't be hidden from Sam. So she waited, letting it sink in.

*You would risk all this?*

~Isolation only works so far. The Jaffa can do things that the Tok'ra can't. There are so many reasons why this would work, Jolinar.~

*It is true that you have some experience in this, but it is also true that your mindset is not entirely in line with most of the Tok'ra. It will be work to convince them.*

Sam paused before asking. ~Have I convinced you?~

Jolinar's mood was hesitant, but things were going well, and so it was also open.

~Well, in any case, we can let it sit for a while.~

Jolinar nodded, and continued with Coron's duties on Dorieth.

That night, lying in their bed, preparing for the sleep that they still pretended was kel'no'reem, exhaustion did not overtake them as it had on their other nights on this planet. Jolinar cleared her mind methodically, and Sam followed suit, until there was nothing in the way.

And they were at peace. On a dangerous covert mission, with no solid plan for success, they had their first night of truly peaceful rest. Jolinar was content with leaving it at that, but Sam savored the moment, just a little. It had been a while, and she was glad to have it back. With that thought, Jolinar couldn't help but agree, and they ended up drifting off to sleep together.