Descending the stairs, I noticed that everyone had the same expression that Carl had worn. Everyone was shocked and deeply upset about Rick and Lori. Glenn hadn't come out of his room upstairs, and refused to talk to anyone who wasn't Maggie. He felt responsible for their deaths, even though it genuinely wasn't his fault that the boat couldn't move any faster. Their deaths had been caused by a steady build up of events, and the blame couldn't be pinned on one person.

None of us spoke to each other, because none of us knew what to talk about. Instead we found ways to busy ourselves. Michonne and Daryl disappeared to clear the walkers that had congregated outside. Carl hadn't left his room yet. I suspected he was trying to explain to his sister what had happened. Glenn and Maggie were in the room next to his, and Carol Sophia and Jasper were in the only other remanding room. Karen and I sat in silence in the games room, unable to will ourselves to do anything productive. Eventually my thoughts became too loud and I felt stifled in the cabin. Opening the door that connected us to the shed that housed the boat, I carefully made my way down the slippery steps, and into the small boat. I found the swaying sensation of the waves comforting. The wintery air whistled outside the wooden doors that opened onto the lake, the noise echoing around the shed. Pulling out the cigarettes I had found , I lit one, smoked it to the end and repeated the cycle. After chain-smoking until my throat burned, I buried my face in my hands.

Everyone was distraught to the point that we felt numb. Although I had accepted what had happened, I still half expected Rick to come marching in, telling us that we needed to get up of our asses. We had lost two of our friends, but we had also lost our leader. Without Rick, we were just a group of lost people. How were we going to figure out our next move, or who went on runs? How were we going to know where to go when we needed something, considering Rick knew this whole state better than any of us ? Rick had been the glue holding this whole operation together, and I could already feel the whole thing crumbling.

Returning back to the cabin, I shut the door to the shed behind me and flinched as I walked in on an argument. Hearing the voices coming from the game room, I hovered in the kitchen, glancing out the window. The water was getting rougher, and dark clouds were looming overhead. It was going to be a rough night. Making my way to the doorframe, I leaned against it, watching the argument unfold.

''Who the hell made you queen of the castle?'', Karen spat as Michonne rolled her eyes in frustration.

''I'm just saying that I can't take watch tonight, I did it last night, someone else should do it''. she replied calmly, placing her bloodied hands on her hips.

''Well I can't. Carol already asked me to help with the kid tonight. Great job you're doing by the way, raising that boy'', Karen laughed sarcastically at Daryl. Narrowing his eyes, he tossed his crossbow onto the sofa.

''I was taking care of shit-'', he began pointing to the now barricaded door that he had just come through.

''Sure you were, you're such a big tough man out in the world, taking care of business, when your actual responsibility is upstairs with a goddamned fever'', she replied dryly, looking down her nose at him.

''I didn't see you out there, helping us'', he fired back heatedly.

''Yeah, sorry about that. You see, I only have ONE HAND due to a fuck up that happened on a run, with you !'', she replied, the anger in her voice escalating.

''And If I hadn't have cut your hand off, you'd be dead by now!'', he murmured venomously.

''Give it time, we're all gonna die anyway. We're dropping like files lately, because we can't seem to get our shit together'', she retorted darkly.

''Stop, Karen'', I warned her. Rounding on me, she stared at me incredulously.

''Seriously? Why, am I annoying you? Am I an inconvenience? Are you considering cutting me loose? Thats your go to plan whenever you-'', she began.

''Yeah, you are pissing me off big time. We're all hurting over this Karen, not just you. We're all trying to figure out what to do next, how to keep moving. This shit isn't helping'', I told her firmly jabbing a finger at her.

''Oh ok, i'm sorry. I'll just keep my mouth shut, and follow you idiots around blindly, shall I? That's how Rick and Lori ended up fucking dead.'', she said, her words hanging in the air momentarily.

''What the hell did you just say?'', Maggie boomed from the top of the staircase. All of our eyes snapped to her as she descended the stairs, taking two steps at a time, and marched determinedly until she was inches from Karens face.

''Did you just blame Glenn for their deaths?'', She whispered, an unreadable expression on her delicate features. Karen remained silent as she surveyed the woman in front of her.

''Do you know he's been up all night getting sick, because he blames himself? Because he can't get the image of Rick like that out of his mind. He did everything he could. If he hadn't found that boat, half of our group would have been stranded on the wrong side of the lake last night, and God knows how many people we would have lost . He was the one who went out looking for their bodies, he was the one who had to tell their children that they now had no parents. Are you seriously telling me, that you blame Glenn?'', she concluded, her words dripping with anger.

''Well, if he had sped up a little bit and didn't take his own sweet time, then perhaps -'', she began but she was cut off by Maggies fist. She didn't slap her, she full on rammed her balled up fist into her cheek as hard as she could. Falling backwards from the force of the blow, Karen connected with a small glass coffee table, shattering it as she fell. The sound resounded throughout the room, before Daryl sprung in, wrapping his arms firmly around her.

The room erupted in shouting. Daryl was yelling at Maggie to calm down, Karen was screaming at Michonne to get a towel to contain the blood that was oozing from a cut on her arm, and Glenn had appeared, sprinting down the staircase.

''Get your hands off her'', he warned Daryl, who was looking very torn as to what he should do.

''STOP'', A voice erupted from the top of the staircase. Everyone fell silent as we looked up to see Carl, who was watching us in disgust. His eyes met every one of ours, before he spoke.

''Is this really what it's come to? Turning on each other because of who'll take watch? Hitting each other when we have a disagreement?… What would my dad say if he saw this? That's the reason you're all acting like this, isn't it? You all claim to be upset, but you're not acting like it. if you were, you'd be doing what my mom and dad would have done. You'd be planning our next move, and looking after each other. Not acting like children.'' he said in a disapproving tone of voice. Everyone suddenly looked ashamed as they glanced around the room, and realized that he was completely right. We were acting like idiots, and had been told off by a fifteen year old boy that had just became an orphan.

''I'm sorry Carl. I just… I don't know what we're going to do without your father, he was our leader, and now'', Karen began.

''He wasn't a leader. He wasn't some supreme guy who was above everyone else. He was an ordinary person, who made the decisions that he thought was best for the group. He didn't elect himself head of the group, you guys chose to listen to him. He tried to keep us safe, and give everyone advice. He made everyone feel important, not dismiss them. You're panicking about what to do now because Rick is gone? We don't need a new leader. We need to pull together, and show each other some respect. I lost both of my parents last night, I'm not in the mood for a power struggle'', he sighed. Releasing Maggie, Daryl nodded. Michonne helped Karen off the ground, and brought her to be cleaned up. Glenn and Maggie retreated back to their room, as did Carl once he had seen that the situation had been diffused. He was more like his father than he knew.