Chapter 50

Tony looked worriedly at the elevator.

"They have been in there quite a long time," Ziva said.

"Maybe they've killed each other," Tony said.

"We would have heard something."

Tony chuckled.

"Yeah, a faint cry for help...but I don't know who it would be from."

"Okay...what's up with the elevator?" Lovitz asked. "Or do I already know?"

"Tim and Gibbs," Tony said.

"At whose instigation?" Geri asked.

"Not Gibbs'," Ziva said.

"And yet...still in the elevator," Lovitz said, shaking his head. "You know what? Director Vance should just use some of the budget to build an inoperable elevator that Gibbs can use as his office. Then, the elevator can be used as an elevator."

Tony chuckled. "After all these years, I'd have thought you'd be used it."

"I am. Doesn't mean I like it," Lovitz said with a faint smile. "What are they talking about?"

"I don't know. We're wondering if they've come to blows."

"They have not," Ziva said. "Tony is simply being melodramatic."

The elevator dinged and the doors opened.

Tim and Gibbs walked off, both incredibly silent but neither looking particularly bothered.

"Gibbs, you really should get an office, you know," Lovitz said.

Gibbs smiled. "Can't afford it, Lovitz."

"Yeah, I'll bet. Could you at least schedule these things to times when I'm not trying to use the elevator?"

"I'll work on that."

Lovitz looked at Tim who had seated himself at his desk and was back at work, albeit silently.

"Agent McGee?"

Tim looked up and just smiled a little without speaking. Lovitz nodded as if he understood perfectly.

"Remember that you're not the only person working here, Gibbs," Lovitz said finally, but without malice.

"I will."

Lovitz and Geri headed over to their desks, and Tony looked from Gibbs to Tim and back again.

"Everything okay, Boss?" Tony asked.

"Yeah."

"Tim?" Ziva asked.

"It's fine, Ziva," Tim said.

"Are you sure?"

"Positive," he said and then smiled. "And I think I'll pass on hanging out tonight."

Tony laughed. "Gotcha, Probie. No invites today."

"Thanks."

The rest of the day passed with uncommon silence...but Tony noticed that there was a lot less tension in the air...but at the same time, a lot less talking. Neither Tim nor Gibbs were revealing what they had talked about, although the general topic was pretty obvious. Still, it was clear that Tony and Ziva were not welcome to ask...not yet, anyway.

Work continued on as usual, and when the day was over, Tim left. He had gone down to Abby's lab during the day, stayed down there for lunch and Abby didn't appear to be joining Tim in his departure, but there hadn't been any sign of problems. Still...

"What's going on, do you think?" Tony asked.

Ziva shrugged. "Things are changing, Tony. A lot."

"About time," Tony said. "I think we've all needed that change."

"So long as it is a good change."

"Good or bad...things couldn't keep on the way they were, and you know it. We've got things moving on our side, but on Gibbs' side...it's kind of been...just marking time."

"Yes. You are right. It is time for things to change. ...and I think it is a good change."

"I guess we'll have to wait and see. Tim was talking less than Gibbs was."

Ziva nodded and smiled. "Yes. He was thinking rather than speaking. He does that."

"Yeah. And I know this will sound like I haven't learned anything, but I hate being kept out of things."

"I hope that you will respect Tim's need to keep quiet for now."

"Yeah, I will. I've learned my lesson."

Ziva smiled. "Would you like to invite Abby to get a drink with us?"

"Sure! Why not?"

Tony headed down to the lab. When he came in, it was quiet. No music.

"Abby?" he called uncertainly.

"Hey, Tony! What's up?"

"I was about to ask you? No music?"

Abby laughed. "My stereo broke. I'm going to replace it tonight when I leave. Tim tried to fix it. It's burned out. I've had that stereo for years, Tony! I hate having to replace something I've had for so long."

"You can get a better one!"

"Yeah, but...still!"

Tony lifted his hands in surrender. "Do you want to get a drink with Ziva and me? We're heading out now."

Abby considered. "Sure! We can start planning Jimmy's graduation party!"

"Are you sure Jimmy will want that?"

"Considering the fact that he felt like he had to keep it a secret while we were all dealing with our problems...yeah, I think he will. Now, he might not enjoy the results, but he'll want us to give him a party," Abby said, grinning mischievously.

"Okay. Nothing too crazy, Abbs."

"Right. Let me shut down my stuff and I'll come with you."

"What about Tim?"

"He wanted to talk to Ducky."

"Did he tell you what he and Gibbs talked about?"

Abby shook her head. "He said he'd tell me what happened later tonight, but he's meeting with his therapist and then he's talking with Ducky."

"Shucks. Gibbs wasn't talking either...but then, that's pretty normal for him."

Abby laughed. "I think it was a good thing, whatever it was, Tony, and I think that...once Tim has really processed everything, he'll be willing to tell you if you ask."

"You're really calm about this, Abby."

"I'm working on it, but more than I want to force Tim to tell me what's going on, I don't want to push him when he's finally dealing with the Gibbs stuff. I'll wait, and he'll tell me."

"Well, if you can wait, then I guess I can, too."

"You'd better. I'm ready to go."

"Okay."

Tony bowed regally and let Abby precede him out of the lab.

x.x.x.x.x.x.x

Tim knocked on Ducky's door. He'd taken the time to call first. He knew that he'd imposed on Ducky quite a lot in the last few months and giving him a chance to say that he was too busy was important.

The door opened.

"Timothy, come inside."

"Hi, Ducky. How are you?"

Ducky chuckled. "I know why you're here, Timothy, and I don't feel ignored. You don't need to ask."

"Well...Jimmy was keeping his good news a secret because of all that's been going on. I feel bad about that. Jimmy shouldn't feel like he has to do that. I don't want to forget about other people's lives."

"Don't feel bad about it, Timothy. It's a decision he made. I have the time to speak to you, and you wished to ask me questions, I'm assuming."

"Kind of. I more...want to talk through what I've done."

"Well, come in. No need to stand here in the entry gabbing."

Tim smiled and followed Ducky into the study.

"Tea?"

"No, thanks."

"I haven't converted you, I see?"

"Sorry. No."

"Ah, well. No one is perfect."

Tim grinned.

"So...you spoke with your therapist already tonight?"

"Yeah, but...I knew what she'd say, but I didn't want to talk to anyone else at NCIS because they have too much interest in what went on. They all just want me to move on. I don't blame them, but I don't know that I can trust their opinions."

"Are you speaking of your discussion with Jethro in the elevator?"

"Yeah. You heard about it?"

"Of course, I did. You think I have no vested interest?"

"You do, but I feel like you'll be more objective, seeing both sides."

"What happened?"

"We talked...and I was more...I was calmer than I was the last time."

"And?"

"Gibbs wants me to decide whether or not I can fully forgive him for...for hitting me, but also for thinking that of me without giving me any chance to speak. I told him that I wasn't sure if I could get past it. He asked me if I wanted to, and I'm not sure about that, either. ...but I asked him to tell me whether or not I had anything to worry about on that score. I asked him to think about his own mind and tell me if he thought it was a problem."

"And?" Ducky asked.

"And...even before he said anything, I knew what was coming."

"How?"

"Because he didn't say anything right away," Tim said. "We stood there, staring at each other for about ten minutes. We didn't say anything. I almost said that he didn't need to answer. I had my answer."

"How did saying nothing answer your question?"

"He didn't have an answer ready. No matter how much Gibbs can anticipate, I don't see how he could have expected what I asked him. He actually did think about it before answering."

"What was his answer, then?"

x.x.x.x.x.x.x

"You're being pretty patient," Gibbs said.

"It's important. I can wait."

Gibbs nodded.

Another long silence.

"You don't have to worry," Gibbs said. "I'm sorry that I had to learn this way, but I have. I'd never make this mistake again."

Tim took a deep breath and let it out.

"Okay."

He turned back on the elevator.

x.x.x.x.x.x.x

"So...what is your question for me?"

"Am I making a mistake? I feel like he's telling the truth. I don't think he's lying...but what he did before..."

"You said that you wanted him to tell you and that you'd believe him. You think you can, but you're still questioning it?"

"Yeah. I know that's ridiculous."

"Timothy?"

"Yeah?"

"If you truly want to get back to an easier situation, to better relationships, you'll have to take another risk...and you'll have to compromise by being willing to let go of the past and look to the future. You've started down that path with the others but you've been incredibly hesitant to do so with Jethro."

"That's because he almost killed me, Ducky. I almost died...and for nothing! It actually scares me a little still."

"Then, that is something you should definitely discuss with your therapist. It's no wonder you would be traumatized by that event, but if it's holding you back from your life, if you truly feel that you should be able to trust Jethro again, then, you need to address it."

"Yeah." Tim nodded slowly. "Can I ask you something, Ducky?"

"On a different subject?"

"Different person. Same subject...but it's...more...personal."

"What is it?"

"Me and Abby."

Ducky nodded. "What about you?"

Tim hesitated. He had been wanting to ask someone about this, but he felt so awkward. This was more private than other things. Still, Ducky had not betrayed his confidence once in this whole mess, and Ducky had been willing to listen to him.

"Timothy?"

"Abby and I...we..." Tim took a breath and just let it out. "We haven't had sex since she cheated on me. ...and I know that she wants to, but I haven't felt...ready."

"Safe?"

"Maybe."

"Have you felt the desire?"

"Maybe."

"Then, I would venture to guess that whatever desire you have felt is swiftly buried beneath your worries?"

"Yeah."

"What is your question, then?"

"Do you think I'm wrong?"

Ducky laughed a little. "Here, my boy, I'm afraid you will have to feel it out for yourself. I would not venture to guess whether or not you should be intimate with your wife. That truly is something that must remain between the two of you. I would suggest that you engage in the same kind of self-reflection you asked of Jethro. Analyze how you feel, what you want, what you're willing to do to get it. Then, perhaps, this is something you may want to discuss with your wife...but not with me."

Tim nodded. "Yeah, you're probably right. I'm still...working on that...stuff."

"Understandable."

Tim stood.

"Thanks for letting me talk with you about it, Ducky. I just needed to talk it out aloud."

"You're very welcome. And Timothy?"

"Yeah?"

"Don't let yourself put off any of your decisions too long. You know what dangers lie in procrastinating."

"I do."

"Good. Now, go home."

Tim opened the door and then turned back.

"You know what, Ducky?"

"What?"

"It actually feels like my home."

"Good. Good night, lad."

Tim smiled. "Good night, Ducky. Thanks again."

He went home and sat down with Abby. She snuggled close to him as he told her an abbreviated version of his conversation with Gibbs. She listened quietly, and when he got to the end, she managed to restrain her joy...mostly, but she did admit that she was glad Tim and Gibbs were beginning to get better.

As they sat there, Tim thought about how nice it felt to be holding his wife, but he still couldn't bring himself to go further. He didn't mention that part of his conversation with Ducky. Instead, they went to bed.

Tim lay awake, long after Abby had fallen asleep.