Coming Through

Chapter Forty Nine – It Helps

She stood tensely, waiting for his answer, and he knew that being glib at this point was probably not the best idea, but he tried it anyway, wanting to divert her from the path that a truthful answer would lead her down. He didn't want to go back to Buffy being disgusted by him again, not when she'd only just declared her love for him, so he quirked his eyebrow and curled his tongue behind his teeth. "Not really my style, luv." He pointedly motioned toward his face and chest. "With all this goin' for me, really don't need to force someone."

She nodded – silently agreeing that yes, he was indeed hot – then pressed on. "But you have?"

His shoulders slumped and he backed up to lean against the wall, putting the falling water between them as he resigned himself to the fact that with his next words, he would lose her. "Yeah. Once."

"Tell me." She eyed the bench and took a step toward it, intending to sit down to listen to his story, but changed her mind. She wanted to be on her feet for this and, knowing that what Spike was about to tell her was going to be unpleasant, didn't want to have an object that was supposed to be attached to good memories – hopefully lots and lots of good memories – tainted with this bad one.

He looked at her through the water, head tilted and brow furrowed. "Why?"

"Because I need to know, Spike."

He nodded as his heart clenched painfully in his chest, then he scrubbed his hands over his face and leaned his head on the wall, looking up at the odd shower heads. "Was back when I was a fledge… 'bout ten, maybe twelve years after Dru'd turned me. The girls were off somewhere shoppin'… huntin'… whatever. They'd been gone 'bout a week when 'Gelus brought this bird to the lair. She couldn't have been more than thirteen or so. Tiny little thing. Looked a lot like my youngest sister… probably why he'd chosen her." He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to block out the pictures that were flashing across his mind. "He told me to take her… ordered it usin' his Sire bond so I couldn't refuse. She was so small, and I'm… not. I was tearin' her up… splittin' her open… and she looked so much like my little sis… I couldn't bear it any longer, so I snapped her neck and ended her pain. That angered Angelus no end. He'd wanted me to take her over and over so he could watch her suffer for hours… hear her screams."

He kept his eyes closed so he wouldn't have to see the look of horrified disgust that was surely plastered on Buffy's face. He waited, listening for the sounds that would signify her turning away from him and leaving the shower stall, but they didn't come. She was just standing there, breathing heavily like she was trying to get herself under control. He could hear the faint squishing noise as she clenched and unclenched her fist around the wash cloth that was still clutched in her hand. He was listening so intently that he startled violently when she suddenly shouted, her furious voice filling the stall and reverberating off the stone and glass with an intensity that almost made his ears bleed. "That son of a bitch! He made you do that to a child! To a tiny little girl! I knew he was a sick fuck, but that! Couldn't even do it himself… had to make you do it! What did he do to you after you killed her and took away his sick fuck fun time? I'm guessing that he didn't just let it go."

Spike's eyes flew open and it took him a minute or so to realize that the look of horrified disgust that was, in fact, plastered on Buffy's face wasn't directed at him. Yeah, she was furious… tear somebody's head off and stomp their twitching carcass into a grease spot furious… but… she was furious for him – not at him. He shook himself and shot a look of pity at the poor wash cloth that was slowly being shredded because of Buffy's nails continuously piercing the cloth as she continued to clench her fists. "Uh… no, he didn't, pet. He… uh… he punished me."

She voiced a low, livid growl that was accompanied by a few more holes in the wash cloth. "How?"

He really didn't want to tell her – it wasn't one of his most treasured memories, in fact, he'd barely survived it – but the look on her face brooked absolutely no argument, so Spike took a deep breath and spoke in a clear voice. "He dragged me all over the city, searchin' for the largest vamp nest he could find. Weren't too many of us hangin' about at the time, so the one he found only had a dozen or so. Fledges mostly, like me. Only two were older and not by much. He gave me to them for three days. Told 'em to do whatever they wanted to me as long as I wasn't dusted." His face twisted into a disgusted grimace. "I'll never forget what he told 'em as he settled in to watch. 'Boy needs to learn what rape is. Why don't you show him?'"

Spike's hands clenched into fists that he pounded into the wall at his sides, slightly startling Buffy as he spat out, "As if I didn't already know! He'd already had me for a bleedin' decade… exercisin' his 'Sire's rights' whenever I'd done somethin' wrong or it just took his fancy. Spent a lot of time durin' my 'formative years' on my hands and knees or bent over the nearest horizontal surface with my trousers round my ankles. Son of a bitch always took me dry too. Always." His voice dropped to a whisper. "Couldn't even leave me be when I was in that soddin' wheelchair."

Buffy dropped the shredded bits of wash cloth and stepped through the falling water, reaching up to push her wet hair back before she placed her hands gently on the sides of Spike's head. She peppered his face with kisses then pressed her forehead to his and whispered. "I'm sorry, Spike. I'm sorry I made you relive all that, and I'm sorry about letting Angelus loose that time, but I'm so proud of you… of how strong you are, and the first thing I'm going to do when we leave our room is stake Angel."

Spike's look of shock was almost comical as he sputtered, "Stake the poof?" Buffy nodded with a small smile as Spike looked at her in wonder. "But don't you… I mean, you understand 'bout Dru and I'd understand – don't get me wrong… I won't like it at all – but I'd understand if you still…"

Buffy pressed her lips to his, silencing him, then leaned back. "I don't love him anymore, Spike, I don't think I ever really did, and after what you've just told me, I don't even like him. He's done nothing but cause the both of us pain, and if I could stomach having him around for that long, I'd have you include him in your ceremony. Let him see what it's like on the other side for once, but I just want him gone… and the easiest way is Mr. Pointy."

Spike took a deep breath as his arms snaked around her and pulled her close. "I understand how you feel, luv, but I'd rather you didn't."

Buffy pulled back and looked at him incredulously. "And why the hell not?"

Spike winked. "'Cause what I did to him yesterday will torture the old git a lot longer than a few seconds on the end of a stake or a week hangin' in chains in my Court chamber."

Buffy's brow furrowed. "What did you do to him? How? Last time I checked, you were kinda chained up and nowhere near him." Spike smirked and told her about the claim on Thomas and the fact that Angel was now saddled with Dru and her mate for the foreseeable future. Buffy burst out laughing. "You are evil, Spike… totally evil and totally brilliant. Ok, I won't stake him, but I might beat on him a lot before I kick him in the nuts or something… that all right with you?"

Spike laughed with her then shrugged wearing a wicked grin. "Your call, kitten. Just leave him well enough to drag his fat arse out to his car. Don't want the ponce hangin' about our town any longer than strictly necessary."

Buffy nodded. "Deal." She pulled out of his arms and stepped to the shelf to get a fresh, un-shredded wash cloth then soaped it up and pulled him under the water again, letting it sluice over him before she pulled him out. "Ok, mister, time to get cleaned up."

She laid the wash cloth on his chest and he covered it with his own hand. "I'll do it, luv. I know it bothers you, seein' this, so I'll do it."

She leaned up and pressed her lips to his then whispered, "No, you won't. You're mine, Spike. Mine to take care of… so just let me. Please?"

He nodded and released her hand then stood quietly as she started sliding it gently over his chest. The blood was washing off fairly easily, having been mostly soaked off by his previous few minutes of standing under the water, so it didn't take long for her to finish with his front. She stopped at his waist and lifted a still clean corner of the wash cloth to dab at his face, taking care to keep the soap out of his eyes as she gently slid the cloth over his cheekbones and down along his jaw.

Spike had his eyes closed, so he startled a little when Buffy's lips suddenly pressed against his. Then she was gone, moving around behind him to start scrubbing his back. She again stopped at his waist then quickly scrubbed the few streaks of blood off his arms. The soiled washcloth hit the floor in the corner with a wet plop and she grabbed a fresh one then stood motionless behind him for a few minutes. He felt the cloth hesitantly touch his upper thigh before it was withdrawn and he heard Buffy whisper to herself, "This shouldn't be so difficult. I've done this before…"

He turned to face her, frowning at the anguished look on her face as he reached for the cloth. "I'll get it, luv. You don't have to."

She shook her head and schooled her features into a look of determination. "No. I can do it. I can. It's just… I keep seeing that girl… with the pain and the blood… and then I see you in the same…" She took a deep breath and grasped his hip lightly, pushing to get him to turn around. "I couldn't do anything for her, but I can for you. I can take care of you and clean it all away." The washcloth was on his thigh again, but with firm, sure strokes this time as she cleaned the blood and other bodily fluids off his skin. "You're already healed, and I know that just washing it off won't make it so it didn't happen, but…"

He reached back and grasped the hand that wasn't holding the washcloth in a tight grip. "It helps, Buffy. Knowing that you care… it helps."

She finished cleaning away the evidence of his violation then squatted down behind him and quickly scrubbed his legs. She tossed that washcloth into the corner with the first one as she stood up and turned him to face her again. She snagged the shampoo off the shelf and upended a generous dollop onto Spike's head then started working the suds into his bloody hair. She pulled him under the water to rinse then soaped him up again, nodding in satisfaction when the water ran clear the second time. "Okay, you're hair's clean. Now… only one more spot…"

She generously soaped up her hands and started sliding her fingers through his nest of light brown curls, working the dried blood out. He groaned low in his throat when her fingers wrapped around him and slid over his hardening shaft with slow, smooth strokes while the other hand gently cradled and massaged his velvety sack. "God, pet… you're so good with your hands. Could stand for you to do this all day."

She smiled as she pulled him back under the water. "Thought you said we only had an hour or so… we're probably running out of time."

He groaned again as she maneuvered him over to the bench then pushed on his shoulders to make him straddle it. "I've still got to get cleaned up so you sit right there… and no touching." She stepped under the water and quickly shampooed and conditioned her hair then his lust filled gaze settled over her like a blanket as she stepped over to the shelf and liberally soaped her hands. His hand started twitching toward his straining member as hers were sliding over her soapy breasts, lightly plucking at the nipples, and she clucked her tongue. "No touching… I meant that."

He growled low, the sound echoing around the stall as her hands moved lower, drifting over her belly and down to her thatch of wiry hair, but he kept his hands on the edges of the bench in a white knuckled grip. She stepped back under the spray and lifted one foot to a spot on the bench in front of his knee. His eyes bled amber as two of her fingers disappeared inside her and she threw her head back, the water cascading over her undulating body as she quickly brought herself to climax, his name on her lips as she convulsed around her buried fingers.

Suddenly, his hands were on her hips, drawing her down to impale her on his rock-hard erection. "Evil… you're the evil one, pet." She gripped his shoulders as she lifted herself up then slid slowly down, squeezing him with those wonderful Slayer muscles. His eyes rolled back in his head and his hands tightened on her waist as she continued to ride him, her pace increasing as the pleasure built. He groaned as she massaged his length, squeezing him almost to the point of pain, "So very evil… and so very mine." He slid his hands to her hips and started thrusting up into her, grunting as he flexed his hips and slammed into her over and over.

She could feel herself getting close, so she pulled his head to her neck and whispered, "Bite." She heard the low crunch of shifting bone then his fangs were buried deep in her flesh and she threw her head back with a wail as she came undone all around him. His thrusting increased as she lowered her mouth and bit hard just at the junction of his neck and shoulder. His fangs slipped out of her and he howled, his body tensing as she tasted his blood, coppery and sweet on her tongue. He gripped her hips hard enough to bruise as he pulsed inside her, his head thrown back and the cords in his neck standing out as blood dripped down his chin. He gave one last full body shudder then sagged against her, panting harshly as he lapped gently at the wound on her neck.

Buffy gently licked at the bite mark she'd left and he shuddered again, his hands tightening just a bit on her hips as he whispered against her wet skin, "God, Buffy, what you do to me."

She slipped her hands off his shoulders and wrapped her arms tightly around him. "What?"

His hands slipped up her back and he wrapped her up just as tight. "You bit me, luv. You know how you feel when I bite you?" She nodded and wiggled her hips then smiled as his eyes drifted shut and he groaned. When he opened them, they were blue and filled with so much love that Buffy gasped. He grinned and nipped at her bottom lip. "Well, for a vamp, bein' bitten durin' a shag makes everything you're feelin' more powerful and intense, just like my bite does for you."

Buffy slid her hands into his sopping curls and pulled him into a bruising kiss as the water cascading over them started to cool. She pulled back with a small shiver and a smile. "So, you liked it? You wouldn't mind if I did it again?"

Spike chuckled low in his chest as he lifted her off him and set her gently on her feet. "Loved it, pet, and no, I wouldn't mind a bit." He stood and stretched languorously then turned off the water. "In fact, you'll have to bite me for the mating ritual."

Buffy's smile widened as she took his hand and tugged him out of the shower stall. "Guess it's a good thing that I liked it too, huh?" She stopped and turned around with a small laugh. "You know, when I was first called, I never would have thought that I'd end up all with the mutual biting. And liking it." She pulled Spike into a hug as she nipped at her mark on his neck. "I'm such a bad little Slayer, aren't I? All with the vamp lovin' and biting and everything."

Spike nuzzled against his mark with a satisfied grin. "And you're my bad little Slayer. All mine." Buffy shivered again and he let her go, reaching over to snag a large fluffy towel off the towel warmer that was standing next to the shower stall.

Buffy sighed as he wrapped the heated towel around her, the warmth seeping into her chilled flesh. "Have I mentioned how used to this I could get? We should so move in here."