Hey. Well, I went ahead with the repost.
Okay, want to hear something weird? You might have noticed that the word count changed. I was worried (understatement) that I had left out a chapter or (worse) that some chapters had been chopped off. Well, as far as I can tell nothing is missing, but the word count is just different. Like, the old SOS stats listed chapter 50 at 8309 words. The new stats list it at 8154. That's, well...strange...right? Huh. I thought I was going to go over 400000 words this chapter. Guess not. By the way, I wanted to mention that I did save all your reviews, and thank you for every one of them.
Hey, within like ten minutes of the finished repost Stained With Love had relisted the story under favorites. Thanks.
Site's kind of wonky lately. (I know, surprised me too.) I don't think the alert feature is working, which might be just as well considering I just reposted 50 chapters. But also, I got my first review from Gining (thanks Gin) and the review showed up, but it didn't send a copy to my account. And I've sent out some PMs during the last couple of weeks—marked CC—and again, didn't get anything in my account. I don't even know if they got through. Well, I know stories and chapters are getting posted. and that's the important thing. But it is weird.
You know, we're coming up on the one year anniversary of my first posting the story. Twelve months, almost 400000 words. That's not bad.
Okay, so...major spoilers. Disclaimer: FFX isn't mine. (I should, like, stake a claim right now to, I dunno, like FF18, or FF22. I know they'll get there eventually, but they'll find me there first, waiting for them. Then I'll be in the driver's seat. The Big Cheese. And...stuff. Oh well.) So...follows the story, but AU right now. It's an aurriku (didn't start that way). This is about characters and the gradual building of a relationship, and the way they've decided to take things so far this is rated -T-, but the story will be pushing that -T- rating in a few chapters. Mainly second base action, but not really.
Speaking of wonky...I was figuring out the dedication for this chapter when I noticed that back in chapter 45 I dedicated that chapter and the next one to Avelera...but then, in the next chapter I dedicated it to someone else. Damn, that's embarrassing. So, sorry. And this chapter—first of the repost—is dedicated to Avelera.
Soldier of Spira
Rikku's Diary:
I'm so MAD at him!
POPS!
Treating me like a LITTLE GIRL!
And I don't think he gave ANY of my letters to Auron!
DAMMIT DAMMIT DAMMIT!
A stupid SWORD understands me better than my own FATHER does!
DAMMIT!
A Few Old Friends
Auron:
What the hell were they doing here? The south wasn't secure yet. They were all supposed to be safe in the Calm Lands, not here. Of course it might not be them. It might not even be the airship in the sky to the north of the city. But in my bones I knew better. It was the ship, and they were on it. I packed my things quickly and went downstairs. The place was deserted.
"What do we know?" I snapped to the lone man at the bar. He was one of ours. We arranged the job for him.
"Not much," he said, looking out of the window. In the square outside people were milling around and looking out to the north. "There's something big in the sky above the Mi'ihen road, coming quick. We didn't have any warning, so it's faster than a man on chocobo. If it's the airship then they have a comm sphere on board and they're in line of sight so we should be able to talk to them, but our people have tried calling the ship and there's no answer. I guess the city officials don't quite dare to try contacting the Al Bhed openly yet. Rumors are spreading through the city that it's Sin, or the airship, or a giant blitzball that'll flatten Luca as divine retribution for disrespecting Yevon."
I looked at him. He shrugged.
"There's still some devout people out there," he said. "And it's Luca."
Okay.
"What's the council doing?"
He looked down and checked something behind the counter as I pulled out some paper and started writing a message.
"Only half of them are there yet, and they don't know what to do. Uh, a couple of them have been calling their contacts asking for your instructions."
"Great. Okay, tell them to announce that they know it isn't Sin. Have our people spread the word, too. Send this message to the airship, even if they aren't answering. Tell our people Ratcatcher is a go. I'm headed for the docks."
"What scenario?" he asked as I turned away.
"Ratcatcher 3," I said over my shoulder. "And tell'em it's not a giant blitzball, either."
Rikku's Diary:
They were good and they were fast. They didn't expect it when I leaped at them but they reacted instantly, not getting in each other's way. They tried to spread out and I feinted left and then blasted straight into them and I almost bowled over the big one in front but he caught himself and straightened up and I smashed my forehead into his face. Then they were all around me, but I had my claw out and they were too close to use their rifles and I was slashing all around me while they were trying to draw their blades. They were Al Bhed marines and I could see my father's face on every one of them.
A half-dozen were all over me and I was seething and showing them my teeth. One raked me across the arm with a knife and I swallowed the pain and spit in his face. Twisting to kick at another, I smashed my elbow back into something hard that grunted and I used the momentum to twist back the other way and claw at someone's eyes. Hands tried to grab me and I let my legs fold under me and I sank to the ground slicing wide at the legs all around me. I heard a scream and rolled out of the way as someone fell, then I was on top of him, kneeing him and using him to get back on my feet and I swung at a figure to the left while I tried to sink my teeth into someone's hand.
"Hold up!"
Someone had a grip on my hair and I swung back and felt the edge of my targe slice into meat, I slammed down on the top of someone's foot with my heel.
"Lu!"
CRACK!
AHGH! A bolt of LIGHTNING comes out of NOWHERE and I'm curled up on the deck in a fetal position. Lightning. INSIDE a SHIP!
LULU!
Big boots in front of my face!
WAKKA!
"Yo, Rikku, you back girl?"
"What the HELL was that, you red-headed doofus!" I shouted, uncurling and sitting up.
"Yeah," he said, squatting next to me, "What was that, ya? You were out of control, girl."
"No I wasn't!"
"Yes, Rikku, you were," Lulu said, coming to back Wakka up.
Okay, so I was. So what? I pulled up my knees, wrapped my arms around them, plopped my chin down and sat there in a huff.
So what? I was winning, wasn't I?
"Hey, Rikku," Wakka said, "You was working off your mad. Hey that's okay sometimes in practice, but not when we're doing team drills like this. You was throwing everyone off, ya?"
I looked up at him, and then around at the others for the first time. Tidus was sitting against a wall nearby and Yuna was working a healing spell on him, and now I saw that Lulu had a big bruise coming in across her face. I...I guess I can remember the others getting kind of beat up when I went after those six in front of me.
Aw dammit dammit dammit. When I broke our line by charging at the marines in front of me, the other marines poured into the hole I left. Damn. I looked up at Wakka, who was standing in front of me now with his hands on his hips. I took a deep breath and let it out in a long sigh.
"You're right," I said. "I'm sorry."
He nodded and reached down to help me to my feet. I winced as I stood up. Now that I wasn't in some kind of berserker rage I could feel some of the hits I'd taken. Lulu wasn't the only one who had bruises coming in.
"Go on," Wakka said, pushing me towards Yuna. "Get in line for healing."
I got in line behind Lulu while Wakka turned to talk to Devvi, the corporal in charge of the squad of Al Bhed marines we had been training against. They were good. Smart, strong, and hard. And lucky. They were the ones that survived the Guado attack on Home.
"Rikku," someone said, "You never even said hi to me before you attacked."
I turned to see who it was, and smiled. It was Yenath. I'd known him since we were kids. His sister was one of my best friends, Linna.
"You look good, Rikku," he said, looking me up and down. I felt myself starting to blush. He looked good too, all lean and toned, a little sweaty and his hair a little mussed from our workout. I kind of had a crush on him when we were young. I guess I had a lot of kinda-crushes when I was young.
"T-thanks," I said. He just stood there grinning at me. "Um, you too. Heh. So, uh, so how's Linna?"
"Still at the Macalania Agency," he smiled. "I'm glad she was safe there when..."
He ran down, and his smile slipped.
"Yeah," I said, reaching out to put a hand on his arm, "I'm glad she wasn't in Home too."
His squad leader called his name and he flashed his white smile again just as Yuna said she was ready for me.
"We should get together and talk, Rikku," he said quickly. I nodded and he ran off with a grin and a wink to join the rest of his squad.
Yeah, I thought, looking after him.
I'd like that.
Auron:
The rumors in the street were even weirder...it was a new aeon the Church had created to defeat Sin, it was the dust cloud from a volcanic explosion (in Mi'ihen, where there are no volcanoes), it was a swarm of locusts, or bees, or butterflies, it was a giant taco? I must have misheard that one.
People were out talking in small groups, or just standing, all looking toward the north. I passed one group kneeling in prayer. It wasn't a panic. Not yet. But it was stirring echoes inside me of another city where Sin did attack, striking down buildings and tearing up streets, and people. People calling for help. People calling my name. I shook my head, dismissing the thoughts and the memories.
This wasn't Zanarkand.
I was halfway to the waterfront when the city started to get the word that it wasn't Sin. The mood lightened, and a carnival atmosphere gradually claimed Luca. The people around me were smiling now, laughing with relief, many of them headed for the docks. As I pushed my way through the crowds deflecting questions, an occasional discrete courier would find me to pass on information. They confirmed that it was the airship. Someone had finally contacted someone. They would be coming into dock soon, but they weren't saying much more than that.
What's been going on aboard that damn ship!
Rikku's Diary:
Yenath's lips were hot and hard on mine, and his skin smelled spicy and sweaty...his arms were like steel around my body, and his fingers were clawing and clutching at my back...my heart was pounding in my chest and my mind was racing...I couldn't think, I couldn't believe this wasn't some dream, but this was real. I had fistfuls of his thick blonde hair in my hands and I was breathing fast and heavy underneath him and I could feel his hard young body pressing on top of mine as I just grabbed his hair tight in both hands and hauled back as hard as I could!
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!" I screamed at him.
"OWW! RIKKU! Damn it!"
"GET OFF ME! GET THE HELL OFF ME!"
"Rikku—!"
I slapped him as hard as I could. Then I shoved him hard and he rolled off me and we both rolled off the couch and onto the floor and I sprang up and backed away from him, staggering a little. I kept my balance and I almost pulled out my claw, but he just sat there on the floor—deck—whatever—looking at me with my handprint on the side of his face.
"Don't you EVER do that to me again," I hissed at him.
"Damn it, Rikku," he said, lifting a hand to rub the side of his face, "It was just a little kiss!"
"Who said you could KISS me, huh! I have a BOYFRIEND!"
"Well, uh..."
"WHAT!"
He flinched a bit.
"Well, uh, Cid, you know...he, uh, said that you could, uh, maybe use some help getting over that old monk, and uh, he said he knew you always kind of, um, well, liked me, and, uh..."
He ran down and just sat there, while I felt the blood drain away from my face.
"Uh...Rikku?"
"Auron. Is. My. BOYFRIEND! DO YOU HEAR ME!"
He nodded quickly.
"You tell EVERY Al Bhed on this rotten, STINKING ship that Auron is my BOYFRIEND and if anyone tries ANYTHING like that again he will STOMP them into a SANDHOLE if there's anything LEFT of them when I GET THROUGH WITH THEM! TELL 'EM THAT! DO YOU HEAR ME! TELL 'EM!"
He was still nodding furiously when I turned to stalk back to the cabin.
DAMMIT!
DAMMIT DAMMIT DAMMIT!
In the cabin I was fuming and pacing and bouncing off the walls and throwing things and I went to the sink to spit a couple of times.
WHO DOES HE THINK HE IS!
The next thing you know he'll try to lock me in my room! DAMMIT, I was mad at him! And I was mad at Auron! WHO DOES HE THINK HE IS, GOING AWAY AND LEAVING ME LIKE THIS! We're SUPPOSED to be TOGETHER! We're SUPPOSED to be a TEAM! I fumed for twenty minutes and started to get a headache. I never get headaches!
It took me a while to realize that the pressure I felt in the back of my head wasn't a headache.
It was the crest.
I sighed. Suddenly I felt tired.
I really thought things would be easier, simpler once Auron and I had talked about things and were still together and still in love.
Maybe Auron is right.
Maybe nothing is ever easy.
The pressure was still there in my head. Masamune wanted to talk with me. We're almost to Luca now. I guess this might be the last time I can talk to the crest. If Auron says to toss it away—toss it overboard into the sea—I know I will. But I can't deny the crest has given me some really good advice.
I slowly pulled the handkerchief out of my pocket and shook the crest out into my palm.
Rikku.
"Masamune."
You are...troubled.
Hey, there's some more of that ancient wisdom everyone talks about.
"Uh, what do you know?"
Even put away in your pocket I could tell how upset you were. And I do have some eyes onboard the ship, but I haven't heard anything.
"You will," I sighed, sitting on the bed. "I bet everyone'll be talking about it before long."
So tell me, and maybe I can help.
I don't know...
Please Rikku...it...it might be my last chance to help you. I'd like to try.
Might by the last chance because we're close to Luca now, and when Auron finds out about the crest...well, neither of us knows what he'll do. There were butterflies in my stomach thinking about it.
What will he say?
So I just started talking. I sat on the bed and didn't even think about it, just opened my mouth and he words came out. I told Masamune about the fight with my dad, how angry he was, and dead set against Auron. I had wanted them to get along so much!
It was three days ago and we hadn't talked since and I was still mad at him and mad at Auron too because he left me, and then we were practicing today against some of the marines on board the ship, and I met someone I knew, and he said we should get together later and talk, and so we did.
I told Masamune how Yenath and I found a quiet place and sat down together and talked about Home, and when we were kids, and all the people we knew, and which ones were still alive, and what we did in the Guado attack.
And then Yenath got quiet, and he started telling me what it was like for the marines, knowing that so many people had died and that they had failed, and a couple even...even killed themselves...because they couldn't live with it afterward...and then he broke down, and he was sitting next to me crying, all quiet and alone, and I put my arms around him and held him and then suddenly he was on top of me! He was grabbing me and kissing me until I pushed him off and he said—DAMMIT!—he said my DAD had said—
DAMMIT!
"So yeah...I guess I'm upset," I said, lying back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling.
Mental sigh. I see that I was right.
"About what?" I asked without any real interest.
Sin and secret wars and the Church and the pilgrimage...all of that is nothing. The real challenge here is your love life.
I laughed.
I couldn't help it. I laughed and I couldn't stop. I rolled on my side and curled up on the bed and laughed and laughed and laughed.
It felt good.
"Yeah..." I finally muttered, giggling, "My love life..."
Feel better?
"I guess," I sighed, "I don't know why. Nothing's changed, has it?"
No, it's true. Nothing has really changed, has it Rikku?
"Okay, well, that sounds like you're trying to tell me something," I muttered.
Rikku, you are-all of you are—alive. And Auron loves you. You love each other. And a few short weeks ago that was enough to make you happy. And none of that has changed, has it? So why are you not happy now?
I sighed. I thought about it. He was right. Or it was right, the sword, crest, Mars-Masamune-thingy was. For months and months it was like my whole world had boiled down to just two things—I wanted Yunie to live—all of us to live—and I wanted Auron and me to be together. And we are. I mean, yeah, he's not here, but we're still together. Right?
So, what was my problem?
"Maybe...maybe that it all got more complicated than I thought," I said, lifting the crest so I could look at it, "What with Dad, and with Auron being gone, and all the secrets...and you."
Perhaps, Rikku. But I don't think so. I don't think that's it.
Damn stuck-up sword. Thinks it knows everything.
"What then?" I asked, sounding kinda sulky, even to me.
Well, the last time you were this upset, you were feeling...insecure. About Auron.
Huh. Me? Rikku the Great? Princess of the Al Bhed and Machina Mechanic Supreme? Good little dancer, too.
Insecure?
"'Mmnot..." I muttered.
Rikku...Rikku, tell me the truth. When that young Al Bhed kissed you...did you like it, just for a moment?
"NO!"
...maybe...
I don't know...
"Why...?" I asked in a whisper, "Why would I like it, huh? I love Auron...don't I?"
Yes, Rikku. I'm sure you do. And it's not easy, is it?
"Huh?"
Loving Auron isn't easy, Rikku. Loving that young man who kissed you just now would be much easier than loving Auron, wouldn't it? He's young, and he's Al Bhed. He's someone that you've known for years, someone that your father would approve of. He's the one you're supposed to love, isn't he? Someone like him?
"Well, I guess."
And then there's Auron. He's older than you. He's a legend. And he has secrets. And in addition to all of that, Rin and I tell you that he's a threat to the Al Bhed. And Rikku, you are still young, a teenager with hormones racing through your body, making you feel things you're not used to dealing with. All of that, and Auron isn't here to hold you and reassure you when you have doubts...Rikku, you must feel like you're being torn in five different directions at once, like you don't know what to do, or what you want to do, or what's right.
...yeah...
And then when this young man kissed you, you weren't really attracted to him, although I imagine he's handsome enough. What you were drawn to—only for an instant—was the idea of just letting go, of having a simpler relationship.
I...I suppose...maybe...
"But I love Auron," I said quietly, staring at the ceiling, "I really do. Shouldn't that be enough? I mean...enough to keep me from feeling like this?"
I remember when I felt empty, back on the mountain. This isn't like that, this is like I'm angry because...because...I'm not sure why. And maybe...
...I'm a little scared.
Yes, Rikku, for you, the sort of person that you are, it should be enough. And I think it would be, if you were sure that Auron truly loved you. That's where your insecurity comes in.
"I know Auron loves me..." I muttered.
All right then, but you aren't sure that he'll keep loving you. You're afraid that one day he'll stop loving you, aren't you? Why, Rikku? Why do you have these doubts? Just because he left you and went south without you?
I pushed myself up and sat perched on the edge of the bed, with my knees drawn up to my chin and my arms wrapped around my legs, watching my toes clench and unclench.
"It..."
What, Rikku?
"It was always me chasing him, you know? Ever since the beginning, it was me chasing him, and pushing him, wanting to take the next step...so...so did he ever really want...?"
Oh Rikku, is this it? Because he never pursued you? Are you afraid that the only reason he loves you is that you—what, wore him down? That he only loves you because he got tired of fighting you about it?
Well...
Rikku, there are reasons he never pressed—your age, and other reasons. You need to talk to him about that if it bothers you so much. As for the other, I...I can't tell you that you should not be insecure about Auron's love...
Gee, thanks for the input.
...because I don't know! But, perhaps I can tell you something that might help. Rikku, why do you love Auron?
Huh?
Why?
Have I even thought about why before?
Well...
"I...I got a crush on him at first...I guess because he was big and strong, and handsome and mysterious, and he always seemed to know what to do. But, that was a crush...and then I fell in love with him...real love."
Why, Rikku?
"Because...because he tells wonderful stories, in his wonderful voice. And he smells like willow trees, and because he's warm and quiet and strong—I mean, strong inside. And he tries to teach me everything he can, and he said he was scared when I was scared, and he holds me and then I'm not scared anymore. He cares about me."
He sounds special.
"Yeah," I said with a soft smile. I felt better thinking about him.
Is that how he sees himself?
"Uh, well," I frowned, "...no."
Rikku, how does Auron see himself? What does Auron see when he looks into the mirror?
"I think...he sees a failure," I said, my chin on my knees, "And a killer."
Rikku, what will happen when you see that it's true?
"IT ISN'T TRUE!"
But what does AURON think!
"He..."
I swallowed, and stopped, and the crest/Masamune went on, Auron believes that one day you will see him as he sees himself, and then...Rikku? What then?
Oh...my god...
"He thinks...he thinks I'll stop loving him," I whispered.
No, Rikku. He is afraid that one day you will see him as he really is, as he sees himself, and that you will no longer love him.
"How could he think that?"
Isn't it what you think, Rikku? That one day he will see you as you see yourself, an immature, insecure little girl, and stop loving you? And I can't say that he won't, Rikku. I can only say, that you are not alone with your fears and your insecurities. Auron shares them.
I never knew...never even thought...
I jumped as the speaker suddenly blared, "LANDFALL IN TWENTY MINUTES. TWENTY MINUTES TO LANDFALL. ALL HANDS ON DECK, ALL HANDS ON DECK."
Twenty minutes! We were almost at Luca! I was gonna see Auron again!
"I...thanks," I said, "I feel...I dunno...better, I guess."
But?
"Huh. I...I just never thought Auron would feel that way. I don't want him to feel that way, about him or about me, worrying that I might stop loving him one day. We have to talk, about a lot of things. And well, uh, I guess maybe I still feel guilty that I...that I didn't hate that kiss, just for a split-second, you know? And I know, everything you said, but...I still wish I hadn't."
Rikku, Masamune chided, You know you can't be blamed for your thoughts, only your actions.
"Huh. You sound like Auron. That's what he says."
Who do you think first told him that?
"Oh. You?"
His father.
"Uh...," I frowned, "So..."
So who told his father?
"Oh. Okay," I shrugged. "So what do I tell Auron about Yenath? I mean, do I tell him about the kiss? I don't want to keep secrets, and I don't want to hurt him."
Ah. Well, if I may offer a suggestion there...perhaps one last suggestion...
The crest talked in my head, and I started to smile as I listened.
Auron:
It seemed like the whole city was trying to get across the bridge, but I managed to force my way through without hurting anyone too much. The ship was already at the dock. People were pointing, and I could see it in the distance. It truly is magnificent, carrying almost a thousand crew and another three hundred Al Bhed marines, plus combat machina. And Cid had replenished his munitions, finding new stocks of APMAK 12/13s somewhere. The council were correct to be cautious. The ship could do real damage to Luca if Cid choose to do so. Of course he had no reason to, but Cid was known for being somewhat unpredictable. I knew that Rin and Cid's other advisors had barely managed to talk him out of an assault on Guadosalam. His feelings were understandable, but air operations in a forest are tricky, to say the least.
The crowds thinned a bit when I finally reached the harbor complex. There were lots of Crusaders in evidence. The council had rushed them here for security and crowd control. Dock One itself was cordoned off. The Crusaders manning the checkpoints nodded me through.
The ship hung at the end of the dock, slowly growing larger as I approached it. There was no movement. The message I had sent Cid told him that the city wasn't secure yet and not to allow anyone to disembark apart from the crew needed to secure the ship. Looks like he listened.
Are...are my palms damp? Is my heart beating a trifle faster?
Am I really suddenly nervous because I'm going to see Rikku again?
Am I truly wondering what I'm going to say, and whether we'll nod to each other, or give each other a hug, or a kiss, or what?
Auron, this is pathetic. You're not the teenager, she is.
Shut up, Auron. Heart beating faster, butterflies in the stomach—this is the good part. This is the stuff that you should enjoy.
You want to see her again.
What's wrong with that?
The forward hatch was swinging open as I reached the end of the dock and I lifted myself aboard. I expected to find them all waiting for me, demanding answers, and I was ready to demand a few myself, like why they were here instead of safe in the north.
But there was only one person waiting for me, and my face felt odd...
I was smiling.
And then she was in my arms and I leaned down to kiss her and she reached up to kiss me.
"Rikku," I said a moment later, "I missed you."
"I missed you too," she said and kissed me again.
"Auron," she gasped, breaking away, "We need to talk!"
...we need...to talk...
Rikku's Diary:
It all happened so fast.
I talked the others into letting me meet Auron at the airlock. Wakka and Tidus and even Kimahri and Lulu all had smiles on their faces—I wanted to smack them! Dad didn't say anything, just turned and walked away. I was waiting and the hatch was opening and it was taking forever and then it was open and he was there—right there—and then I was in his arms and his lips were on mine and for just a little while everything was okay.
And then we broke apart, and I looked up into his face, and told him we had to talk...
...and there was something in his look...
"NO, Auron!" I said fast, "No, not like THAT! I LOVE you, I'll ALWAYS love you...it isn't that!"
I looked up at him as his face slowly unfroze, and he took a kind of deep, ragged breath, and he said, "All right. What is it then, Rikku?"
And I couldn't say it, I just couldn't cause I knew he'd hate me...
"Rikku...?"
And then it all started pouring out and I was telling him everything all inna rush, you know, and the words were just tripping all over each other trying to get out of my mouth and his face was getting harder and colder and I couldn't stop talking and I was talking even faster and I never mentioned Rin's name but he musta guessed and then he was gone and I was yelling for him to come back but he was running off down the corridor and I hit the shipwide intercom and yelled for Rin to run and then I chased after Auron, but I never caught him and someone was shouting something over the intercom and then I was passing Al Bhed marines crumpled in heaps on the deck where they had tried to stop him and then I saw them, the two of them, and Rin was just hanging there clawing at Auron's hands around his neck, trying to breathe, and Auron jerked him close and put his face right into Rin's face and hissed something at him and then he smashed Rin up against the wall!
"NO!" I screamed as the back of Rin's head slammed against the metal, his feet kicking helplessly, "AURON, STOP!"
"YOU!" he roared at him, "ARE YOU THE SWORD'S CREATURE!"
And he slammed Rin up against the wall again, and I felt it through the soles of my feet. Rin was hanging, dazed...his boots hadn't touched the floor since Auron reached him...and a squad of marines clattered up and aimed all their weapons at Auron and he twisted around to face them, whipping Rin around with one hand and drawing his sword with the other and I threw myself in between them all, yelling, "NO! STOP! STOPPIT!"
Everyone just froze for a second. Then the marines were calling for me to move and trying to aim around me, and Auron lifted his sword a little, looking past me at the marines like he was drawing targets on them inside his head, and Rin hung from Auron's other hand, coughing blood.
I didn't move.
And then Yuna and the others were running up on the other side of the corridor, eyes wide and yelling for me or Auron or someone to tell them what was going on...Tidus had his sword out and he stepped up beside Auron, facing the marines, and after a minute so did Wakka, shaking his head and looking down at Rin. Yuna gave a little cry when she saw Rin with blood around his mouth and down his shirtfront and tried to run over to him but Kimahri grabbed her and pulled her back against the wall, and Lulu stepped over next to her and put a hand on her arm, and then everyone was talking at once, asking questions or giving orders.
"QUIET!" Wakka roared, and the noise died away. "Sir...Sir Auron, Rikku? What's goin on, huh?"
Auron had never looked away from the marines, never let go of Rin, never said a word.
"Rikku," Yuna said, "What is happening? How badly is Rin hurt?"
"Auron?" Tidus said, not talking his eyes off the marines.
Auron:
---Threat/Risk Assess---Death, Rin: Unity---Death, All Marines: Unity---Death, Other: .05---
The world was hard and cold and clear as ice, and I knew precisely where everyone was and every move they made...one of my hands was around Rin's throat and my sword was in the other and I knew the exact order in which the marines would die.
"Auron...?"
Rikku's Diary:
"Auron...?" I said, and without moving his head, his one eye tracked to me...and for just a second, I knew what it is you see just before the shark's jaw closes.
Just for a second.
And then it was Auron again. His face was like stone, but it was Auron looking at me. He looked around at the rest of them. And then he slowly, slowly lifted out of his crouch, and then he sheathed his sword. I saw some of the wide-eyed marines taking deep breaths and shaking a little as they started to straighten up too. They all looked really young and I could smell their sweat. Our gang sort of relaxed just a bit, too, everyone sort of taking a step back, you know?
And without warning Auron turned and shoved past us and started walking off back down the corridor, still dragging Rin by the neck with one hand. We blinked, and then all kind of surged after him.
"S-Sir Auron," Rin gargled.
Without looking, Auron smashed Rin's face into the wall and scraped it for five or six steps, leaving a long smear of blood behind. He never turned and never stopped walking.
We hurried along behind them, not sure what to do. Tidus was still exchanging glares with some of the marines. Yuna cast Cura on Rin while we were moving, the way Auron had trained her to do. After Auron's training, Yuna could cast healing spells even if she was in pain, half-conscious, and hanging upside down. The marine corporal in charge came up and wanted to talk to me but I shook my head and ignored him and he started talking to Wakka and Yuna instead. I moved up just behind Auron and wouldn't let anyone get any closer as we followed him through the corridors and people stared when we passed. I guess we were a really weird sight.
Auron didn't say anything as he led us through the airship, and I didn't try to talk to him, and neither did Rin, stumbling alongside him. Sometimes Rin would trip and then Auron would just drag him by the neck as we watched until he managed to get to his feet again. Auron led us up and up until we all piled into the elevator that took us up to the deck outside. No one said anything. The others had even stopped asking questions. They just stood and waited as we all rode up, looking at each other.
Auron stepped off the elevator and walked right up to the edge, and stood there looking off at the horizon with the wind streaming through his hair and his coat. Rin still dangled from one hand. Yuna and the rest stood in a little clump to one side, watching, and the marines spread out in a semicircle behind us, their weapons ready. Again, no one moved for a minute.
One of the marines coughed. It sounded really loud.
Then Auron turned his head and looked at me. I couldn't really see anything in his expression. Is this what he looks like to other people all the time? And then he held out his hand, palm up. I felt pressure in the back of my head, and realized I had been feeling it for a long time. The crest wanted to talk to me. I reached into my pouch and brought out the crest, wrapped-up in a cloth bag. The pressure got stronger, but I ignored it. I walked up to Auron and dropped the bag into his palm. I saw sweat break out on Auron's forehead, and he clenched his hand into a shaking fist. Then he hauled Rin up and around until he could look right into his face. He didn't say anything, just looked at him, then he half-turned and threw Rin to the deck behind him. Yuna and some marines ran up to take care of him, with spells and potions, and then some marines pulled him away onto the elevator.
Auron was facing the horizon again, holding the bag in his hand.
"Guys," I said, "Leave us alone, huh?"
"Are you sure?" Lulu asked, and Tidus said, "Auron?"
I nodded to Lulu and Yuna and Auron sort of waved to Tidus. The marine corporal was shaking his head, but Wakka went and talked to him and eventually they all filed onto the elevator and the doors closed behind them, and it was just the two of us out there. Auron was still standing close to the edge.
I took a step closer.
"Auron...?"
"Shut up," he said coldly.
I flinched before I realized he wasn't talking to me.
He was standing with one arm straight out now, holding the bag with the crest inside it, holding it out over the edge of the ship, out over the ocean far below.
"Not one word," he said flatly, looking at it.
I swallowed.
"Auron?" I said, quietly.
"Rikku...do you trust this crest?" he asked without turning.
"Not even a little bit," I answered.
Auron's legs suddenly folded under him and he sank down to the deck. I carefully sat down next to him, and we just sat there and watched the horizon going by for a while.
The bag with the crest inside lay nearby where he had dropped it. No one spoke for a long time.
Then I asked him quietly, "Auron? Are you mad at me?"
"I'm angry at myself, Rikku," he answered tonelessly, without looking at me.
"Uh...?"
"You said it, didn't you? When I was leaving the north. You said we needed to talk. About this, right?"
"Uh, well, yeah," I said.
"And I dismissed you. I thought I knew more than you, and that what I had to do was more important than what you had to say. Rikku, I'm sorry."
He's apologizing to me?
"It's...it's okay, Auron."
"No it isn't. I should have had more respect for you. I should have known that you..."
He trailed off, shaking his head and sighing.
"I should have taken you more seriously, Rikku. I'm sorry."
I sat and thought for a minute, then I scootched right up next to him and ducked my head down and wriggled under his arm.
"Are you gonna listen next time?" I asked quietly, leaning into his chest.
"Yes, I promise," he said.
"Then it's okay. Really. Auron, we're gonna make mistakes, you know? Both of us. If we're not willing to forgive each other, and let ourselves be forgiven, we'll never make it. I wanna make it."
He thought about it for a minute, and then asked, "Who told you that, Rikku?"
"No one. It's just how I feel."
He pulled me closer, and he brushed his lips softly over my forehead.
"I've always known you were stronger than me, Rikku," he said quietly, "And smarter. And now I know that you're wiser as well."
Um...
Wow.
Rikku's Diary:
So, um, so Auron and me, we still have a lot to talk about, you know? Like, uh, like what to do about the crest, you know? And about not killing Rin, and about the future of the Al Bhed, and a lot of things.
But...not right now.
Maybe tomorrow, when we get to Besaid. But for right now this is fine, sitting right here, arms wrapped around each other and the wind in our hair, watching the horizon, and just doing nothing at all.
Together.
Next: Homecoming
