It was late and Catra's back ached from the scratches and bruises there but she was restless, even if it was night and she probably should by all means be in bed. But she just couldn't get herself to sleep, not when she had this much energy.

So she slid the sheath containing her light paw onto her belt and headed outside and away from the palace to where it was less likely she would be caught doing anything her mother would probably kill her for, expecting to get some training in so that she could at least go to bed sometime that night.

What she didn't count on was to find a certain blonde doing the same thing she planned to do.

It seems I'm not the only person who couldn't sleep.

The half-feline thought as she slowly approached the blonde, waiting for her to sit down and catch her breath before tackling her from behind, earning a yelp of surprise before Adora shoved her off.

"Catra! When are you going to grow up?"

Catra flinched slightly at the accusation in her voice—something that wasn't there the previous day—and at the tone that Adora rarely took on.

"Geez, sorry. I was just messing around. What's up with you tonight?"

She watched as Adora let out a huff before seemingly deflating.

"I know...Sorry. I just couldn't sleep and..." Adora began, feeling a Catra's tail lightly wrap around her lower back as Catra rested a hand on her shoulder.

"Hey, it's fine. Want to talk about it?"

Adora flinched a bit at those words. How many times had Catra spent the night listening to her prattle on when she herself had been keeping things bottled up?

"No, it's fine. I'm just getting wrapped up in my own head again...You know...Like everyone always said I did." Adora answered, drawing her knees to her chest and resting her head against them.

Catra sighed then and removed her jacket, draping it over the taller girl.

"Yeah well, the fact that you are emotional is what makes you, you." she retorted, nuzzling against her lightly before asking: "Is this a Shadow Weaver thing?"

Adora shook her head.

"Not really...It's a I'm a really fucked up thing."

Catra let out a snort at that

"Poor, naive, Adora. You think you're a fuck up? You are literally everybody's hero and you literally can lift a cart, horse and all above your head. That is pretty cool. Not to mention the fact that you put everyone first and ignoring your own stuff. I know I couldn't do that."

Adora glared up at her at that.

"Oh yeah, but yet I ignored shit that happened right under my nose for years...I was always so eager to make people happy that I..." She began, only to suddenly be stopped by Catra's tail wrapping around her face.

"Adora, we were kids. You were raised by Shadow Weaver and although she was a suck-y one, she was basically your mom in a lot of ways. Now I'm going to let you finish but so help me if you keep on trying to blame yourself for everything I will gag you." Catra told her, slowly uncurling her tail only to have it roughly batted away by the blonde.

"Ugh, you got fur in my mouth!"

Catra let out a laugh at that although Adora lightly elbowed her.

"I'm trying to be serious and you are acting like a giant kitten!"

Catra sighed and lightly nudged her.

"Hey, at least you're smiling a little now. You can't always be the one cheering people up." Catra said before falling back onto the grass.

"I mean all that was hard on both of us. You were the golden child, everyone expected perfection from you and then when you left, Shadow Weaver left me a lot worse off than I am right now and I hated you for it...I really did because you didn't let me come and I got stuck taking the beating but after everything...I kind of realized something...you really didn't realize how bad it was. Sure you saw me get slapped around but you didn't know what went on behind closed doors."

Catra really didn't want to talk about this but she knew that Adora deserved to understand everything about what had happened between them.

"Catra, I wish I had known. I would have..." Adora began, earning a look that clearly said shut up.

"No you wouldn't have...You would have been even more afraid to disappoint Shadow Weaver. I get that...Hell, at one point I wanted her to be proud of me too but that never happened." Catra retorted as her brow furrowed.

"You know, I wanted you to feel as hurt as I did. I wanted you to suffer at my own hand but in reality...I was just really fucking heart broken that you just left me like I was nothing. After seeing the graves in Half-Moon, I understand why you had to leave. I just wish that it could have happened differently."

Adora was at a loss for words, although tears pushed at her eyes.

"I have nightmares you know...About everything that happened. Sometimes in the dreams you kill me, other times I kill you and I don't know which is worse. We fought so long and hard against each other that just being near you and acting like we did before this mess started...It feels like some kind of dream and when I think about what you said...about how I failed you I can't help but wonder if maybe I'm the monster here...I mean what if it's just my ego that is driving me? What if that's why I don't understand the full extent of She-Ra's power? Maybe Light Hope is right, maybe I shouldn't be trying to live a double life."

Everything she had been thinking and feeling just came gushing out then and she couldn't help but wonder if she said to much when she felt Catra shift beside of her.

That was until she felt the other girl's arms wrap around her from behind.

"Yeah, listen to a trillion year old computer program that can't even answer simple questions. Adora, you didn't fail me, we were just kids who were both trying to please the people we looked up to and if anyone's the monster, it's me. I actually destroyed places Adora, who knows how many people I have killed for no reason except Hordak's orders. Plus your ego has never really made you do more than be insufferable whenever we teamed up in simulations. You want to protect people...I want to surpass the limits people set for me. I'm pretty sure I'm the egomaniac here."

Catra said, brushing her cheek against Adora's with a light purr before she added:

"Come on, let's go inside. It's getting chilly and unlike me you don't have anything besides my jacket to keep you warm."

Adora wasn't sure what to think when Catra lead her toward her own room before she vanished down the hall once again, her weapon laying abandoned on the bed beside Adora, who curiously picked it up. It was old, that was for certain, and battle worn. But what really caught Adora's attention was that the blade was very thin and flimsy—not strong enough for combat.

So why did she have it? It wasn't like Catra to keep a useless weapon.

She was still looking at it when Catra walked back in, carrying two steaming mugs.

"It's called a light paw, basically Entrapta's plasma welder on steroids. The magi-cats basically combined magical energy and melee combat to give the perfect lightweight weapon. I would show you but I'm pretty sure that Angella wouldn't be exactly forgiving if I accidentally set something on fire." the cat-like girl explained with a small grin as she handed a cup to Adora.

"it's Valerian. It should help you get to sleep. You've been busy all day, you need your rest."

Later that night while laying in bed beside Adora—who had curled up nearly into a ball against Catra's side at some point—the smaller built female couldn't help but trace her hands over the other girl's back, feeling the raised areas where scar tissue had built up all too quickly in the areas where Catra's own claws had torn the skin.

She had wanted to hurt Adora then, wanted her to feel the same pain that she had caused her.

But just like later that night, guilt pushed at her mind.

"hey Adora?"

She didn't dare speak above a whisper, despite the fact that she knew she was going to wake the girl up.

"What is it now Catra?"

the sleepy mumble came, causing the feline to chuckle softly before turning serious again.

"Why me? Why after everything I did...After how much I hurt you. Why did you still keep hoping I would change? I became a terrible person." She asked, only to feel a light kiss against her cheek.

"Because I know you. You're the kind of person who acts first, thinks later and even when I had to fight you, I hated it because I knew that deep down you were still the same person I grew up with...the same person I called my best friend."

Catra exhaled at that before pulling the other girl a tad bit closer.

"That means a lot, even after everything I've done you've never given up on me and I can promise you that I will never hurt you again...I mean I am a smart ass and I don't pretend not to be but I can try...if you will have me."

Catra said softly, earning a light laugh.

"Catra, do you think that I would have told you if I didn't want to try?"