A/N: Hi guys. I'm so very sorry for the looonnngggg wait in an update. I won't bore you with the drab details as Elijah would say. I had pages written and didn't like the direction so I scrapped it and then had to battle against writer's block. Here is the latest! Enjoy.

Disclaimer: These characters are the creative property of LJ Smith and The CW. No copyright infringement is intended.

It didn't end well for people like me. That was the only thing going through my head as I stood in a sea of blue, white, and red lights as fire trucks, ambulances, and police littered the air field where a small Cessna plane exploded right after take off. I was just a number among the spectators watching a tragedy unfold that may or may not attract worldwide media attention. When you see something catastrophic happen like that, it doesn't affect you personally although your heart may go out to the grieving loved ones of the fallen. But it becomes a different playing field when you know the names of the perished.

If only I could trade places with the people who surrounded me—to distance myself emotionally. Not to absolve myself of culpability or responsibility, but to forget the last few days of my life. The last few days that led up to this horrific event. This was a startling wake up call that life was a flame in a strong wind; it could be blown out at any time.

The domino effect started who knows how long ago. Cause and effect. I stood with my hands empty, my tongue tied, my heart heavy, my soul shivering in the cold night air. With nothing left to do, nothing left to give, I turned my back on the scene playing out before me like some Hollywood movie, and never looked back.

The Bonnie Diaries

Some days it just didn't pay to be a hero. From everyday Joes to fictionalized comic book characters, heroes always paid some kind of penance in the form of blood, self-sacrifice, or watching their loved ones being used as pawns or the alternative being murdered in cold-blood. Bonnie Bennett wouldn't put herself on superhero status, but she had powers, gifts. She was talented, more than human, but it was all eradicated with one simple act.

She had been reduced, downsized, rendered immobile, made impotent by one in her own society. A litany of emotions tore through her. Rage and helplessness just to name a few. If asked what she wanted to see happen in regards those who stole what rightfully belonged to her, Bonnie was scared of what she might say, of the edict she might issue. Perhaps she never should have confessed to Grams that she liked having limitless power. Perhaps this was some kind of punishment from the earth for rejoicing in killing when she was supposed to have a reverence for life. Message received.

Bonnie shivered in her seat as her mind played back that awful moment of feeling Jonas literally taking his hands and placing them on the most intimate part of her soul and ripping out what she had been born with, along with the power she had tapped into. She couldn't have been more exposed or naked in that moment, at his total mercy as Gloria looked on probably with a self-satisfied smirk on her face.

Gnashing her teeth together, Bonnie knew she had to get control over her emotions which were nothing but an unstoppable juggernaut. Retribution for what was done to her could be easily achieved if she placed several phone calls, but that would have to wait. She needed to think, calm herself, and form a new game plan.

Yet, all she really wanted was her father to make it better.

Jeremy was glad he didn't get pulled over by the cops as he rushed to Bonnie's house. Occasionally his dark brown eyes would dart between the road and the bundle in the passenger seat. Constantly he asked Bonnie for her prognosis.

"Just drive, Jeremy," Bonnie replied calmly, too calmly that it unnerved the human.

Pressing his foot harder on the gas, Jeremy rounded the corner of Bonnie's street and gunned down the avenue. He pulled Jenna's Mini Cooper to a screeching halt in front of Bonnie's, and was quickly out the car coming to her side of the vehicle and extracting her. Placing one of Bonnie's arms over his shoulder, and holding her tightly around the waist, Jeremy expeditiously got Bonnie inside.

"What now?" he asked and instinctively headed towards the living room couch, but Bonnie pulled in the opposite direction, instead hobbling towards the kitchen.

She reached out, searching for the kitchen island to balance herself. "In the fridge on the top shelf behind the juice is a silver thermos. Can you get it for me?"

Jeremy frowned but followed her directions to the letter. He was pulling on everything that made him a man not to shake like a leaf as his nerves caught up with him.

Opening the fridge and pushing miscellaneous items out of the way, Jeremy found the thermos, retraced his steps and handed it to Bonnie.

"Here you go," he took care and wrapped her fingers around the object as Bonnie half stood half sat on a kitchen stool.

Bonnie's fingers fumbled with screwing off the top and Jeremy moved to assist her, but she jerked out of the way.

"I got it," she replied in that listless monotone voice of hers.

Jeremy tried not to stare too boldly at Bonnie's all white eyes which were more than disturbing. Repeatedly he questioned her on what happened and why were her powers taken, but Bonnie would give no more information than she was willing to share at the moment. If she was withholding what she knew as some form of protection for him, Jeremy could appreciate it, but at the same time it infuriated him. He was useful. He was more than Elena's misguided ex-stoner brother. But apparently it was a reputation he hadn't been able to shake.

Once the cap was off, Bonnie took a sip and winced. Cold vampire blood tasted like sludge.

"What is that? What are you drinking?" Jeremy found himself asking as he shifted from foot to foot.

"It's Damon's blood."

Jeremy was thankful Bonnie was blind otherwise she would have seen his look of utter disgust.

"I need you to call him, please."

Sighing, Jeremy reached for his cell out his back pocket and called Damon—grudgingly.

"What do you want you sixteen year old child?" Damon answered.

"I'm seventeen, bitch. Bonnie was attacked in the cemetery. I found her and brought her home."

Jeremy held his phone away from his ear as a slew of obscenities waltzed out of Damon's mouth.

"She was attacked?! By whom? Is she all right?"

Jeremy turned his back on Bonnie. "She's…something's wrong with her eyes, some kind of temporary blindness. She just took a hit of your blood she keeps stored in the fridge. How soon can you get here?"

"I'm on the way. Did she say who attacked her?" Damon went back to his previous question.

"Dr. Martin and some white-haired witch named Gloria," after delivering that news Jeremy hung up his phone. He refaced Bonnie to see if perhaps there might have been some change with her eyes. He noticed that the thermos was on the counter top and Bonnie sat head bowed with her hands covering her eyes.

Jeremy placed a hand on her shoulder. "Bon…did it work?"

Her eyes were still throbbing as if she had a sinus headache. There was pressure on the front part of her cranium, even her gums hurt. Yet in very small increments Bonnie opened her eyes and lowered her hands. Things were still a bit blurry but it was better than seeing nothing outside of blinding whiteness.

"I need a little more time. Can you help me to the couch and keep the lights off?"

"Yeah, yeah, sure," Jeremy spoke in dulcet tones.

Once Bonnie was on the couch, Jeremy stood awkwardly before her. "What now?"

Bonnie didn't answer. She was too busy thinking because that was a very good question. What now?


I-95 North

There were bats flying out of hell and then there was Jonas Martin gunning down the highway trying to put as many miles between himself and Mystic Falls. Constantly he checked the time on his Amigo watch.

Gloria stared at him from the passenger seat. "We're going to make it, but you need to slow down. The last thing we need is to get pulled over by the cops. Take your foot off the gas, Jonas."

Heeding her advice, Jonas began to drive more cautiously and under the radar. He made eye contact with his two children in the backseat. Greta looked disinterested whereas Luka looked pissed. He saw nothing but contempt and condemnation in his eyes. In less than seventy-three hours, everything would be different. That was his promise to his son, his heir. Their brief stint being fugitives would be over, and they would take their rightful place atop the supernatural hierarchy as it should have always been.

So long, Mystic Falls, hello new world order.


Later on that day, Bonnie learned several things. She learned that dark-eyed Damon made a homemade remedy for her eyes since apparently Damon's blood didn't work. Jeremy had given her a narcotic which knocked her out, and when she woke up, vision completely restored, the entire ensemble of Super Friends had arrived at her pad.

During her nap, Stefan tried to intercept Jonas at his apartment and got his brain cells roasted as a result of it. Her boyfriend confirmed that Elijah knew who the Martins were and threatened to find some way to dagger the Original if he didn't produce some results and got Bonnie her powers back before the night was over.

Questions were fired in quick succession and Bonnie answered them the best way she knew how. Elena was also clued in about her possible role in the supernatural game of Russian roulette Esther might play, if awakened. She was worried to say the least. But throughout it all Bonnie concentrated on nothing save the fact she had been trying to light the three decorative candles on the coffee table with no success for the past half hour.

Her head was throbbing and she was fighting against the voices harping in the background as she kept her focus on the candles willing those bitches to burn. They did nothing and Bonnie felt her last hold on her control snap because all she wanted was empirical proof that she wasn't done as a witch, but no, people wouldn't stop talking and she was drawing near her wits end. If they could shut the fuck up for two seconds she was sure she could light the candles but the wicks remained intact, mocking her, laughing at her.

She couldn't take it anymore. Bonnie let out an ear piercing scream, grabbed one of the candles and pitched it. Several people dodged out of the way as the candle hit a wall and dropped to the floor.

That effectively rendered the house silent.

A chorus of "Bonnie!" went up in the air like a prayer to heaven.

"No!" she shot to her feet. She began pacing back and forth while shaking her head wanting to destroy something but what could she do? She had been stripped of all of her abilities, excommunicated. She was just as vulnerable to an attack like Jeremy only he had a ring to protect him whereas she did not. Now she was fodder, meat for bloodthirsty vampires.

She was now a defenseless human. A civilian. Bonnie wrapped her arms around her middle as she pinched her lips. Her shoulders bounced up and down and everyone wasn't sure if she was crying or laughing or doing some combination of both.

Her chuckles started off soft at first that they might have been misconstrued as sobs, but then, she released her lips, and a smile split her face and then she was laughing hysterically, clearly being the only one in on the joke.

Jeremy and Elena stared helplessly at one another, as well as Stefan and Caroline. However, the two Damon's never took their eyes off Bonnie.

"This is…" Bonnie attempted to sober but only succeeded in laughing until tears flowed down her cheeks. "If this had happened a year ago I would have been kicking up my boots jumping for joy because I didn't want to be a witch. I didn't want to know too much, but now…"

Both Damon's sensed she was about to go off.

"Bonnie, it's been a long day. Maybe you should go upstairs and rest. We'll figure something out later," her boyfriend suggested.

"Don't patronize me, Damon," she glared at him. "This is all your fault! If it weren't for vampires like you going around killing just because you can, and enslaving witches and warlocks, and having them do your dirty work then Jonas wouldn't feel the need to wake up a thousand year old chick with a grudge against all supernatural kind! I didn't want to embrace this lifestyle but I had no choice especially after Grams died. Now my powers have been taken away and I can't do shit, and I have to…" Bonnie stopped herself as she noticed that several people were staring at her aghast.

She shook her head and then stomped her way upstairs.

The room remained silent as everyone shifted nervously on their feet.

Elena and Caroline were prepared to follow but Damon shook his head. "Just let her be for now. She's pissed and she isn't going to listen to anything you have to say."

Stefan looked at his brother. "What are you going to do?"

The elder Salvatore thought for a moment. He was use to being a punching bag—that was nothing new. But it didn't sting any less to have her blame him for something he didn't do. However, he was tired of being put in this position of being a day late and a dollar short, and not knowing how to help his girlfriend. Aside from becoming Bonnie's shadow which she would never agree to, there was very little he could do. Damon could easily consult another witch, but he pretty much burned down several bridges after killing Bree, and that only stood to reinforce Bonnie's tirade. For now he would let Elijah take care of Jonas. If Bonnie was as important to the Original as he proclaimed she was, Elijah wouldn't pussyfoot around and get shit done and produce some results. In the meantime, all Damon could do was be there for his girlfriend.

Damon faced his brother. "I'm going to give my girlfriend space to cool off. And I suggest you all do the same."

"Do you think that's a good idea just to leave her alone?" Caroline challenged. If she was going through what Bonnie was experiencing the last thing she'd want was to be left alone.

"No, Caroline!" Damon railed impatiently and approached her. His eyes shot daggers at her. "No, I don't think it's a good idea to leave Bonnie alone, but did you not hear a single thing that just came out of her mouth? Just go home. I got this."

Damon watched as everyone filed out of the door, everyone except his double.

The two men alike in looks and sometimes temperament stared at each other. Dark-eyed Damon inclined his head before casting his gaze on the ceiling. He would keep watch of Bonnie, in crow form of course. He left the house.

Alone, Damon ventured into the kitchen to hide the evidence that something other than preparing a meal had occurred in the kitchen just in the event Daddy Bennett showed his face. Once everything was put back into place, Damon settled on the loveseat, waiting for Bonnie to need him.

Upstairs in her room, Bonnie flipped through her grimoire combing the pages looking for someway to get her powers back, but nothing was jumping out at her.

Then the letter from her mother that she tucked between the pages floated out and landed on her lap. She stared at the envelope for what seemed like hours before she took a deep breath, and ripped the envelope open and pulled out a stationary card. Her eyes blinked back tears.

Bonnie-

This wasn't how I planned for things to be between us. I never would have imagined that I would pack my bags and leave behind the greatest gift I ever possessed. But I did, and there's no excuse for it. I'm sure this letter comes 15 years too late and as a total surprise, but I never stopped thinking about you or the woman you may become one day and I was missing everyday of it because of my fear and stupidity. Saying 'I'm sorry' isn't enough nor does it convey the level of regret I have in leaving you behind. But I am truly sorry that I wasn't there for you as I should have been.

I know I have no right to ask anything of you, but if you would consider meeting one day I can better explain the choices I made. I don't know what's going on in your life, but its instinct that tells me you need my advice about something. I'll understand if I never hear back from you or see you again; as I said before I have no right, but if you believe nothing else about me, Bonnie, believe that I do love you.

You are my flesh, my heart, and my legacy, Bonnie. I want you to have the best out of life, to fall in love with a good man who will put you first, and to be the mother to your children that I failed to be with mine.

There's more I want to say, but I'll leave it up to you if you'd like to hear the rest.

Take care, Bonnie. I love you.

Abby

Closing the card and lying on her belly, Bonnie cried herself to sleep.


A few days later...

Bonnie figured this place could have been a shelter of refuge but it was just another condemned house on the block. She couldn't imagine the horrors those hundred women faced as they were interrogated, more than likely tortured to snitch on their friends and possibly even family members back then when it was perfectly fine to use such tactics. The air here was far chillier than any other place in town, and Bonnie felt no life here. Everything was dead and barren.

Just how she felt on the inside.

Yet she stared at the antebellum house rooted to the spot because she couldn't decide if being here was right or if she were welcomed. She failed those women. They entrusted her with their power and she didn't do enough good with what she had. Officially being cutoff, separated, Bonnie wanted nothing more than to go back to that day and start all over from scratch, and make better decisions.

The crunching of dead grass caught her attention and she snapped her head to the right. She wasn't terribly surprised by the visitor and perhaps she expected him to show up, knowing he found it difficult to stay away. Still it was no less startling to see him donned in his customary black, five o'clock shadow covering his jaw, eyes the color of onyx stones, and that obsidian hair tousled and finger combed.

Bonnie refaced the house. "You know, I can't feel them. I can't hear them either. Everything around me is silent."

Damon stood beside her only inches separating them. He too, focused his eyes on the house. The last time he was here, he was nearly roasted alive by crossing over an invisible boundary the witches had erected to keep his kind out. He stretched out his own powers and immediately concurred with Bonnie. There was nothing here but a house near collapse and dead earth.

"So why did you come here?" Damon questioned.

Bonnie made a restless motion with her shoulders. "Maybe I came here to find a shred of hope. Instead I got nothing," she sighed heavily.

Self-deprecation looked good on anyone up to a certain point, but Damon couldn't stand to see the despondency wrapped around Bonnie like a cape. She had come too far to simply throw in the towel and trick herself into believing that because she killed a pack of werewolves she deserved what was happening to her. She did what anyone else standing in her shoes would have done, but trying to get that point through her concrete head would only serve to exacerbate the issue, not remedy it.

Noticing he was being awfully quiet Bonnie stared up at Damon. "You're being tight-lipped and that's not like you."

"There's nothing for me to say that you probably haven't already told yourself. And I know you, Bonnie. You can become frustratingly difficult to persuade when your mind is made up about something. Am I right or wrong?"

Looking away to hide her tiny smile, Bonnie admitted, "You're right…most of the time."

"I thought so," and he reached for her hand. "Come with me."

"Come with you where?"

"Just come and find out. You can pretend not to trust me all you like, but again, I know you."

There were little bells sounding off in her head telling her not to take Damon up on his offer, but curiosity was beginning to outweigh her sound judgment. Pivoting to stand before him, Bonnie matched gazes with Damon as he wrapped one arm around her waist and then, her feet were no longer touching the ground and they were airborne.

Sailing through the air, speeding across Mystic Falls, Bonnie was proud of herself that she didn't scream her head off and that she didn't vomit. What felt like seconds later, her feet was planted on asphalt again and she was being led through a parking garage of some building.

Damon pressed the up arrow summoning the elevator. He said not a word to Bonnie as the lift arrived and they boarded. He hit a button for the top floor, and Bonnie read that the number he hit had the letters PH beside it. It didn't take long for her to figure out where they were: Glenarden Condominiums.

A strange flutter occurred in her belly and she nervously shifted on her feet. She had been alone plenty of times with Damon since he crash landed back into her life, but those encounters always took place on neutral soil. This was his turf where he had control.

Damon was smacked in the face with Bonnie's nervousness. Not that long ago he would have rejoiced in being able to make her nervous, but now he didn't want Bonnie to be skittish around him. Besides, nothing would happen that she didn't want to happen. He was no ruffian, no barbarian and had to force himself on any female. Besides, most if not all, came willingly.

The silver plated doors parted and revealed a long hallway. Strolling down it, Damon unlocked the door to his domain and stood aside allowing Bonnie to enter first.

Her eyes widened so she wouldn't miss a single detail. The place still smelled brand new but there was also traces of Damon's favorite cologne something she failed to ask him the name of. The condo had an open floor plan. The space was divided by the clever use of furniture—of course all of it in some variation of black, leather, and suede. The gourmet style kitchen caught and held her attention. The cabinets were made from cherry wood with platinum fixtures. All of the appliances were stainless steel.

Then there was the bedroom.

Bonnie avoided staring too long at the bed.

Floor-to-ceiling windows allowed a ridiculous amount of light to pour into the space. Various oil paintings, which all looked authentic, decorated the walls.

"You have a really nice house."

"Have a look around. You can't get the full experience being parked next to the door," Damon held out his hand for Bonnie's jacket.

She slipped it off and handed it to him and watched as he hung it up in a closet next to the front door. He shunned his leather jacket as well and then made his way towards the kitchen.

Unsure of how to proceed, Bonnie took a detour to the living room. There was a book of photography on the glass coffee table. Bonnie flipped through a couple of pages and saw nothing but black and white snap shots of random events that happened around the world.

"Have you eaten?"

His voice startled her and Bonnie spun around. "Today?"

Damon glowered at her for a second. "Please tell me you have eaten something today?"

Bonnie lowered her eyes and bit a corner of her lip. Damon exclaimed something in Italian and proceeded to rummage through the refrigerator and cabinets. With him distracted for the time being, Bonnie slowly made her way through the condo. Damon had a lot of contemporary art pieces, and furniture. He had an extensive music collection that covered everything from James Brown to Vivaldi.

When she was hit with a small bolt of courage, she ventured into his bedroom. There was nothing to it except two black lacquer end tables flanking the king sized poster bed, and a gigantic plasma television was mounted on a wall. However, on one of the tables was a picture frame.

Striding over to it, Bonnie picked it up and saw her smiling face reflected back at her. She couldn't remember when that photo might have been taken, but she put the frame back where she found it.

Turning around to leave, her vision was filled with a muscled chest. She gulped her pounding heart back down her throat.

"Wine?" Damon held up a crystal goblet to Bonnie.

"Should I drink on an empty stomach?" she retorted with a question of her own, but it didn't stop her from lifting the glass from his hand and taking a tentative sip of the crimson colored merlot.

Damon saw her cheeks flushing. "I guess you discovered my secret."

Bonnie decided to play dense. "What secret?"

The question earned her a naughty grin. "It's your face I wake up to every morning, and the last thing I see when I go to sleep at night. Pitiful, I know."

Bonnie took another sip, this one more generous than the first. "It's not pitiful," Bonnie murmured quietly.

Damon lifted her chin. "So what is it if it's not a showing of a man's inability to let go of the woman he loves?"

Shaking her head, Bonnie couldn't answer. "We can't go there, Damon."

He sighed in defeat and took a step away from her.

Draining her glass, Bonnie passed it back to Damon once it was empty. "I'd like some more, please."

Walking around him, Bonnie left the confines of his room needing to catch her breath, calm the unpleasant flutters in her stomach, and put even more space between them.

He came charging after her and Bonnie found herself being spun around and facing a pair of burning black eyes.

"I think the reason why you can never answer any of my questions is because you still want me, you still want to be with me. You want to remain faithful to your world Damon, and I commend you for that, but deep down, your skin still burns for my touch."

It was getting harder for her to breathe, but Bonnie managed to say, "That's not true. Damon, we just can't pick up where we left off. I'm in a relationship with someone else. Someone I happen to love. A lot. I don't need this right now."

"You admitted you still love me. Whatever is between us, it just won't go away simply because you want it too, Bonnie because believe or not, I'm a part of you just like you're a part of me."

"A part that I have to let go. For good."

"You're still holding on for a reason."

Bonnie shook her head but couldn't commit to saying a word in her defense.

They could waste precious time going back and forth like a pair of lawyers in a courtroom yet it wouldn't solve anything. He was done playing nice with her, curbing who he was so he could fit into her life. Damon fell down to his knee, Bonnie watched. He bowed his head for a minute before looking up at her.

"I am yours to command," he told her. "Whatever you want me to do, however you want me to please you, I will."

Her brain was going to short circuit, malfunction, and shut down.

"I can start at your feet," Damon tossed out the suggestion, and then gently grabbed Bonnie's leg and propped it on his thigh.

She tried to show no outward sign that his touch was affecting her, but it was hard to keep her inner vibrations from fanning out. Her hands clenched and unclenched themselves into fists so she wouldn't bury them in his hair, or bring him closer. Instead she looked straight ahead as his nimble fingers brushed over her ankle and glided upward to cup her calf.

Higher his hand went until it reached her knee. "Damon, stop."

"I can't."

"You have too," Bonnie nearly groaned and braced her hands on his shoulders in order to remove her leg from his clutches. Once she was free she put the entire room between them, giving Damon her back while she tried to calm the storm that was brewing inside.

She was a recipe for disaster. Emotionally compromised, feeling bankrupt in the powers department. Being here with Damon, Bonnie just tossed a snowball right into hell. Yet being around him brought her back to the days where she willingly turned to him for comfort. He understood what she was going through because he had gone through the same thing when he briefly became human again.

However, it was wrong to still feel this way about him, to still get excited from the sound of his voice, to the feel of his hands touching her. She loved Damon and his blue eyes. Did they always see eye-to-eye? No but what couple did? Did they fight like cats and dogs—you betcha. Her relationship wasn't perfect but it worked and she couldn't throw all of that progress out of the window simply to get her rocks off one last time with her ex.

Damon approached her. He knew the way her mind worked. He didn't need telepathy to know that she was going over the list of reasons why this was wrong and her current relationship was right. He wanted her for purely selfish reasons, Damon had never been shy about that, but he also wanted her respect and trust. Perhaps he should back off before he lost her for good.

Bonnie turned to face him. Seeing the vulnerability and indecision on her face, he merely wanted to clear up any and all confusion she might be feeling.

He closed the gap between them. Bonnie didn't move or avoid his touch. Tentatively he cupped her chin, her eyes downcast still trying to hide from him. The tension between them was like a noose around both of their necks. Slowly, Damon lifted her head forcing her eyes upward. He wanted to ask her permission to kiss her, but he didn't. If he gave her a choice, she might not choose him and that would kill him more than a stake through the heart.

Bonnie looked into his eyes, her heart going a mile a minute. She should run, she was telling her feet to move, but instead she remained rooted to the spot. Cathedral bells were sounding in her ears warning her that if she went through with this, she could lose everything. Damon would never forgive her if she took the plunge. She couldn't just drop her relationship like it was a handbag and pick it up later when she was about to leave. That's not how love worked.

Yet essentially that's what she did with her love for this Damon. She dropped it off somewhere; put it in a safe deposit box for later retrieval, but it didn't mean it went anywhere.

Both of his hands now held her face trapped.

Damon's head dipped, then stopped. He checked her for signs of flight, and when he saw none, he continued to lower his head. His lips parted only a little. Bonnie felt his breath tickling her bottom lip. She kept her eyes open when he sealed his mouth over hers. A warm flush drenched her insides. She was putty.

It was impossible to keep her eyes open after that. They closed.

Damon kissed her meticulously, slowly, ardently. When Bonnie responded and unlocked her jaw allowing his tongue entry, he rolled it over hers. His hands fell from her face and found its new home on her hips. He jerked her closer, her body flattening against him.

Bonnie needed something to do with her hands, so she first ran them along his chest, then burrowed her fingers into his soft hair. She tugged the strands, smashing his face closer to hers. She alternated between biting and licking his lips as his pelvis began a slow grind against her.

That turned up her internal pressure cooker another notch. She was beginning to sweat in the center of her back and her hands. The area between her thighs was already saturated. When she moved, the seat of her panties teased her hardening clit.

Damon broke their kiss long enough to declare, "I need to taste you."

Bonnie was open to whatever he wanted to do at this point.

Damon pulled her knit dress up by the hem and Bonnie compliantly lifted her arms. He removed her leggings and boots. Bonnie stood before Damon in her sheer black thong panties and demi-cup bra.

Something between a grunt and a groan escaped his lips as his obsidian eyes drank in Bonnie's curves, committing everything to memory. She was toner in her abs, her thighs, her hips were rounder, her breasts fuller. He couldn't wait to get his hands on her, and by the tent in his slacks, they weren't the only one eager to meet her acquaintance again.

For her part, Bonnie wanted to see some skin. She pulled his shirt apart. Buttons didn't necessarily fly so much as they dangled loosely from torn thread. His chest was chiseled marble. But her vision was soon distracted by the all-too-male part of him that jutted out from the rest of his body. Bonnie swallowed thickly and then hesitantly touched him. She ran her fingertips along his hardened length eliciting sounds and groans of approval from Damon.

There was still time for her to stop this, but Bonnie unbuckled his belt, popped the button out of its hole, and pulled the zipper down.

His cock sprang free. The mushroom head engorged and dripped with a vampire's version of pre-cum. Using her thumb, Bonnie touched him and smeared the fluid around the bulbous head.

Damon's head fell back as a result. He kicked his pants off. How many nights had he fantasized about this, dreamt about this, embarrassingly jacked himself off to imagining this moment? Too many. She was torturing him. Damon picked her up, her legs automatically circled around his waist while the tip of him teased the crease of her ass while he made the short trek to the bed.

The minute she was on her back, her neck was assaulted with kisses as hands caressed and groped her body. Damon kissed a trail down the center of her body. When he reached her navel, he squeezed her breasts together. Bonnie's legs went their separate ways as they widened, making more room for Damon to fit comfortably. He was turning her into an addict or perhaps she always had been an addict, because an addict didn't know or couldn't stop their actions.

She was almost at the point of no safe return.

Her head arched against the bed and she lifted her hips the second Damon grabbed her panties and pulled them down her legs. She closed her eyes and waited. She didn't have long to wait.

His tongue slid along her moistened slit before he used two fingers to open her channel. And then she felt a quick succession of licks, making her inner muscles contract, heat spread. Her eyes rolled.

"I love the way you taste, Bonnie."

Damon vigorously showed her that he meant what he said. He dipped two fingers inside, curved upward and pressed against that hard to find G-Spot.

Bonnie almost ripped his hair out. Her ending was coming too soon. Someone started rolling the credits before the final scene faded to black. No! She wasn't ready. She wanted to last, to hold out just a little while longer, but her body had other plans. She wanted to tease her nipples, but there wasn't time and if she did she would only exacerbate her problem. So she clutched the sheets instead, and then her eyes snapped open right when her head was about to explode.

She threw Damon off of her with a strength she didn't know she possessed.

He landed on the floor in a state of confusion that was instantly replaced with outrage.

Tears ran from her eyes, as Bonnie attempted to quell her burning and quaking thighs. The pulse beating in her clit matched her racing heart.

"I can't do this," she panted. "I can't hurt him like this."

"What?" Damon snapped. He was standing at the foot of the bed, still fully erect and completely pissed off.

"I've already let things go too far," Bonnie was mostly talking to herself, but Damon heard her loud and clear.

A persistent tic hammered away at his jaw. "Bonnie, we were in the middle of something."

The young woman in question came to a sitting position on the bed. She dropped her hands to her lap needlessly trying to hide what was no longer a secret.

"Damon…just think. If we were still together would you want me to do this with him? Would you be able to forgive me if I did knowing I possibly enjoyed it?"

Damon had no answer but the one reflected on his face. "You pick a fine time to be rational, Bonnie," he grumbled tersely.

Bonnie climbed off the bed, taking the sheet with her and wrapping it around her lower half. She stood in front of Damon, not close enough to touch, but close enough to feel the tepid heat of his body.

"A part of me will always love you, Damon. But I can't break his heart, or mine, or yours by doing this. You deserve more than just one night. Regardless if I sleep with you now or later, it won't be enough to change how I feel about him. Maybe I'm confused. Maybe I'm feeling lost, but I can't do this. I can't make things worse. I'm so sorry."

A thousand different arguments and emotions flew through Damon. Rage. Sadness. Loss. Bitterness. Just to name a few.

She turned to leave but Damon caught her by the arm.

"How am I supposed to let you go? I came back here for you. I gave up everything! And I have nothing to show for it," against his will a tear rolled down his cheek.

Bonnie's chin quivered as she was hit the severity of the situation. "All I seem to do is hurt you, and I don't mean to but I don't want to be that girl. I don't want to be like Katherine."

Ice was just thrown in his face. Damon let her go. He didn't want her to be like Katherine either. Yet the reminder only brought up those old feelings of jealousy and anger, of feeling inadequate and not good enough to satisfy the needs of one woman. Katherine hadn't chosen him then, Elena tried to string him along as well, and now Bonnie…

She was completely done with him. He loved her. Knew he was the better choice for her, but her heart, mind, body, and soul wanted someone else. Wanted the other Damon Salvatore.

"Why?" he meant to ask that of himself but voiced it. "Why am I not good enough?"

Bonnie had to be deaf not to hear the brokenness in his voice. He was good enough, but their time had come and gone.

She took him by the hand. "Damon, when I met you I was in a bad place. I was angry all the time, I didn't want to be a witch, I didn't want to be caught in the middle, but I didn't want innocent people to get hurt. I felt like I was losing my friends to their problems, and so much death was happening around me I didn't know how to handle it. And then you came along and you put my safety first, and you became my friend, and you loved me for me. For that alone I love you, but Damon has a hold on me that I can't break. I can't explain it…"

"He physically put his hands on you, tried to kill you," he argued vehemently. "Told you that your life meant nothing to him. And now you claim he has some hold on you that you can't break? I'm almost convinced you've been compelled," his voice went up an octave.

Bonnie swallowed thickly. "That's water under the bridge with us. We've made amends. Look, my relationship doesn't have to make sense to you, but it makes sense to me."

Damon took Bonnie's hands once more, his eyes imploring her to listen to his reason. "We were great together. There was nothing we couldn't accomplish. We bring out the best in each other, Bonnie. The heat is still there if we just take things slow, I know we can get back to where we were."

Bonnie sighed. "And what if you're summoned back to Fell's Church? Then what? Our lives would be nothing but snatches of time together."

Damon snapped the time traveling watch off his wrist and crushed it in hand. He sprinkled the pieces on the floor. "Problem solved."

Bonnie could do nothing but stand there-mouth agape. She came out of her stupor. "I can't go back. I can only move forward. If I make a step towards that bed, come morning I will want to gut myself. My love for you will turn into resentment because if I go through with this, Damon will hate me if he doesn't kill me. That's a risk I'm not willing to take. Do you want to risk losing my love—forever?"

She had him by the balls on that one. He looked away.

Bonnie gently took Damon's chin in her hand and turned his face to meet hers. "You need to let me go."

Damon stubbornly shook his head. "I can do anything except that."

"It's over, Damon."

His nostrils flared and he was trying to resist outright crying like an infant. "You just need more time to figure things out."

"I don't need anymore time." Pause. "Good bye, Damon."

Picking up her discarded dress, leggings, boots, and panties, Bonnie left Damon's and never looked back.


Salvatore Boardinghouse

He was tired and weary of this life but it was unfortunately what he knew. He had been designed to kill, terminate, and smite the earth of its inhabitants to satiate a bloodlust that refused to diminish. He conditioned himself on the rudimentary education of being heartless, guiltless, and self-concerned. Damon in the past shunned all notions of worrying about others, of preserving and protecting human life because really they were dust underneath his fingernails, food, fodder, playthings.

Yet his old attitude was hijacked the moment he fell in love with someone who through history had been penned as his natural enemy.

Picking up her scent, Damon turned his attention to the doorway of his bedroom.

Bonnie stood, grounding the tip of her shoe into the hardwood floor. She was biting on a corner of her bottom lip looking pensive. Her eyes were too bright and alert. The tip of her nose and nostrils were inflamed. She appeared as if she were seconds away from fleeing like a spooked stag. Damon dropped the book he had been reading on the bed.

Bonnie cleared her throat and boldly looked into Damon's oceanic eyes. "Damon, I'm sorry for what I said to you the other day. I was out of line. You're not to blame for what happened to me."

He shook his head to the contrary. "You only said the truth, and I can't get mad at you for that. If it wasn't for vampires like me treating witches like they're expendable then Jonas wouldn't feel the need to even the playing field," Damon looked her over curiously. "How are you?"

Shrugging, Bonnie took a solitary step inside Damon's bedroom trying not to burst into tears and pieces because of her crippling guilt. It would serve her right if she lost them both. "I'm as well as can be expected," she smiled self-deprecatingly, and then her eyes wondered off and her chin quivered.

Damon stood before her in an instant. Bonnie held her hand up and took a step away. Her eyes were glued on the floor.

"No, you shouldn't…." finally she brought her eyes to his face. "Can we sit down?"

Taking her by the hand Damon led Bonnie over to the bed to which she leaned against it. Damon followed suit, facing Bonnie. She reached for his hands.

"I don't want to think about what happened. I just want to go back to when I was that girl who was obsessed with cheerleading, and staying up all night running my mouth to my friends, and attending parties and getting drunk off of one beer, and experimenting with my hair. I don't want to talk about what happened. I don't want to remember what it was like when I learned I was a…" Bonnie censored herself.

Unconsciously Damon licked his lips. "Bonnie…as much as you want to go back in the past and relive the good and simple days you can't. It doesn't work that way."

Bonnie sighed in response. "I know that, Damon, but it's what I want. My life has progressed and regressed, and progressed and now…" she shrugged, "it's fucked up."

Damon got an uneasy feeling. "What's going on, Bon?"

She opened up her mouth to confess to what she did, but looking up into his eyes seeing nothing but concern and love for her, Bonnie's turned ashen and chickened out.

"I read the letter from my mother," she blurted

"What did she have to say for herself?"

"Not much. She basically put the ball in my court in meeting her. I haven't decided if I want to or not."

Damon placed his arm over her shoulder and drew her closer. "You know you don't owe her anything. She left you."

I cheated.

"And its her lost that she got to miss out on an incredible young woman that I fully intend to impregnate and marry one day not necessarily in that order," he wiggled his dark eyebrows hoping to elicit a laugh or smile from his girlfriend but got nothing short of a wince in return.

"There's something else…you need to know…"

Damon waited for her to share the news and then wondered what it was considering Bonnie's heart was palpitating.

Bonnie opened her mouth to respond when Stefan knocked on the door. "Hey, there's been a plane crash at a private air field in Maryland."

"So?" Damon frowned not understanding the relevance.

"Jonas Martin was on that plane."

Chapter end.

A/N: Does this spell the beginning of the end for TV Damon and Bonnie? I guess you won't really know until the end. I grappled for a very long time on whether or not Bonnie should sleep with her ex. It kind of seemed like an inevitable situation, but then I thought maybe I shouldn't go that route, but then scrapped it and said, Bonnie isn't perfect, she makes mistakes, and letting things escalate but not necessarily go all the way over the edge maybe something she might do. Again that's speculation on my part since I doubt we'll ever see Bonnie in a viable and/or realistic love triangle (not that I want that for her) to know how she might handle being in this situation. Yet it was time for Bonnie to acknowledge there is a part of her that still wants to be with Book Damon, and she needed to deal with it and how it conflicts with her love for TV Damon. Now the question remains what will be the fallout? Sorry there wasn't much TV Bamon interaction, they will be the starring couple next chapter.

I also noticed that since the premiere that many people are ready to give up on shipping Bamon. Well I have a remedy to that, I still plan to ship them, but I'm shipping Bonnie with my version of Damon and not JP's. It's the only way I can stay sane for another year of fudgery. Well kittens, I'm off to see if I can update another one of my stories. Love you!