Notes:

I'm not even going to try to explain how sorry I am that it took me this long to post this chapter...


Blaine, Monday September 25th 2017, 8.53 pm

We decided to go out separately, me through the main entrance and Kurt through the backdoor, just in case there are still any paparazzi lingering. I can't see any on my way out though, so we're probably safe. I walk alone the, by now, well known streets to my destination. The day has been hectic, and I'm tired from late nights, early mornings, intense meetings, and an even more intense photoshoot. But I'm happy.

Kurt was reluctant to leave the apartment, and maybe we didn't have to do this tonight now that I think about it. But I'm almost at my destination, and I'm not sure there ever will be a right night to do this. I see many nights with me curled up next to Kurt in our near future, and I know it will be close to impossible for me to want to move from that position. Next to Kurt is where I want to stay for the rest of my life.

When I walk into the pub, Rose notices me immediately. She's serving a beer to a customer, but she smiles at me and tilts her head at my usual spot. She wants to talk. I take my seat and wait for her to finish. I place my cap on the bar. It has become part of my typical attire when I leave the apartment. Usually I leave it on, but tonight the pub is only frequented by the usual patrons, and I know they don't care about me.

"What are you doing here?" Rose asks when she walks over. "I thought that after last night, you'd be spending every minute with your new boyfriend."

"So I take it you've heard about last night," I say and can't help but smile. Not because how the news about me has spread, but because thinking about last night and Kurt will forever put a smile to my face.

"It's kind of hard not to, your name is like everywhere. Please tell me it worked out between the two of you or my heart will just break," Rose says.

"Aww, you care about me," I tease, "and here I thought I was just another customer to you." Rose swats the rag she uses to polish the bar top at me, and tries to give me an unappreciated stare, but I can see her smile shining through.

At that moment, Kurt walks in through the door. He looks around, and when his eyes land on me and Rose, he smiles, and I wave at him to come over.

"You brought him here," Rose says, and when I nod, she continues. "To meet me?"

All I can do is nod again, and then Kurt is by my side. He stops a few inches away from me. I don't like the distance, so I take his hand and pull him closer. I feel Kurt resist a little, and I know what he is thinking, but I know no one here is paying us any attention. I hold on firmly to his hand.

"Rose," I say, "I would like you to meet my boyfriend Kurt. Kurt, this is Rose." Kurt extends his hand to Rose, looking a little clueless as to why I'm introducing him to the bartender. "If it weren't for her, we might not be here tonight."

Rose shakes his hand, and then I have two sets of eyes giving me inquiring looks.

"Remember that day you told me you had a boyfriend?" I ask and look at Kurt. He makes a funny face, like that is not something he wants to be reminded of. I stroke my thumb over his knuckles, trying to tell him that it's okay - we're okay. "After I left your apartment, I came here to drown my sorrows. Rose asked me what happened, and I told her about you having a boyfriend, and how I was content with being just your friend, that I didn't have any other choice. Rose told me to not be that guy. The guy who gives up when there's a setback. She told me it's never too late, and even if I never told her, her words stuck with me and gave me courage to not give up. I actually think I would have been happy to have you as just my friend again if Rose hadn't told me those words."

"I guess I have you to thank for a lot," Kurt says and looks at Rose.

"You should have seen the poor guy. He looked so God damn miserable, I had to give him some words of encouragement," Rose teases, but then adds, "I knew how much he liked you. Hell, he came back here every night for three weeks in hopes that you'd return, and I just hated to see him so crestfallen because he thought he'd lost you."

Kurt turns to me, and I shift on my seat so that I'm facing him. He takes a small step closer so that he's standing between my legs, and says in a low voice, "I'm glad you didn't give up on us. God knows we can both be stubborn at times," he adds with a chuckle.

"Rose told me to make you fall in love with me again. And, well, I tried…" I say.

"And succeeded," Kurt answers. "Although, to be honest, I don't think I ever stopped loving you. I had to move on because loving you hurt too much, but honestly, you were always in my heart."

"And you were in mine." My chest feels tight when I think about all the years we wasted being stupid and stubborn.

"You guys are too adorable," Rose says, interrupting our little moment and bringing us back to reality.

"I couldn't agree more."

I jump at the female voice behind me, panicking at being caught. I can't imagine it being anyone else but a nosey reporter. Coming here was a bad idea. Kurt was right, we should have stayed at home. Going out to a public place when you want to lay low is such a bad idea. I can already see the headlines and the pictures of me and Kurt standing here close together, holding hands. I curse my own stupidity.

But when I turn around to face whoever this reporter is, I see that the female voice belongs to Ali.

"You said you wanted me to meet someone," Kurt says, smiling, taking a small step back. "Well, I wanted you to meet someone, too. You haven't really met before, well not under any happy circumstances anyway, and I thought it was about time I'd change that."

"Nice to meet you, Blaine," Ali says.

"You too, Ali."

"God, I don't know if I want to punch you or hug you," Ali then says with a laugh.

"What?" I ask confused.

"Be nice, Ali," Kurt says. "That's in the past. You said all you cared about was that I was happy. And I am. I love him, and he is my happy place."

"I know, Kurt. I know, and I'm happy too," Ali says and hugs him. "So happy."

Then I get it - the reason she wants to punch me. I broke his heart. I made him miserable, and Ali was probably the one he confided in. She knew him already back then, and they're still friends. She has seen what I did to him.

"I won't hurt him again. Ever." I say, needing to make that clear to Ali.

"Oh, I know. Kurt wouldn't let you. He's a much stronger person now than he was then. I've seen what he's gone through with you. I've seen him cry so many times, and that alone makes me want to punch you. But I've also never heard him as excited and happy as when he just called me and asked me to come here to meet his new boyfriend. And that's why I'm going to hug you instead," Ali says and puts her arms around my neck and squeezes me in a tight hug.

Then she whispers into my ear, "You better treat him right, or so help you God."

"You have my word," I whisper back. There's so much more I want to tell her, to ensure her that I will never intentionally do anything to make him feel sad or heartbroken again. That he is safe with me. But a pub is not the place to do that, and I'm sure I will have plenty of opportunities to tell her later.

I let Ali go, and as she steps back, I reach for Kurt's hand again and pull him closer to me. Now that I'm allowed to touch him and hold him again, I can't refrain myself from doing it. I want him close, and I want some part of me to be in contact with him all the time. I want to kiss him, but I know I can't, not here. But when we get home I promise myself to kiss the hell out of him. For now, I settle with lacing our fingers together and holding his hand in the small space between us that no one can see. Kurt looks at me, smiles, squeezes my hand gently, and then strokes his thumb over my cheekbone. His eyes tell me later, like he knows what I'm thinking.

"Okay, this needs to stop or y'all gonna make me cry. This is all too sweet," Rose says.

My eyes reluctantly leave Kurt, and our little bubble is momentarily burst, but I know we will return to it and stay in it. Forever, if it was up to me to decide, but for as long as we can at least. I look at Rose and smile. "I knew there was a softy in you somewhere."

Rose chuckles. "My heart has always been weak for you, B. Ever since you told me about why you kept coming back to this pub every night, that you couldn't forget about the boy that left you five years ago, and that all your songs were about him – you've held a special place in my heart."

I stretch out the hand that isn't holding Kurt's to Rose. "Now you're making me cry, Rose."

"Hold on," Ali says, "all your songs are about Kurt?"

"I thought that was obvious," I answer.

"I thought that was just the image you wanted to portray. Well that put things in a different perspective…" Ali says, and then she turns to Rose. "Blaine kept coming back here for Kurt?"

"Every night for weeks. He sat right here, waiting and hoping until he finally returned. Even if he didn't say it, it was obvious how much he still loved that boy, how much he was hurting because of their breakup."

I look at Kurt, and he looks at me with something sad in his eyes. But there's no need to be sad anymore. We need to move on from that and look ahead instead. The urge to kiss him is back. To kiss away that sad look.

"Kurt was just the same. For years he kept crying over Blaine, unable to let him go." Ali says to Rose, and then they're off, switching stories about me and Kurt, not caring that we're there.

"I think we just started a new friendship here," Kurt leans in and whispers.

I can see them becoming friends, Rose and Ali. "I think we're not needed here anymore. Want to go back to my place?"

"More than anything," Kurt says, and there's a tingling feeling inside me when I think about being alone with Kurt again. We've only shared one night together, but it's like my body remembers all the good times we shared back then, and now it craves more.

We say our goodbyes and leave Ali at the pub with Rose. No matter how much I want to walk hand in hand through the streets of New York back to my apartment with him, I know it's a bad idea. Reluctantly I leave him by the pub and start walking alone. It's only a ten minute walk, but it feels like an eternity. Why did I think it was good idea to leave home before? We could have been curled up in bed together by now, watching a movie or, you know, something else.

When I get to my apartment, Kurt is standing outside my door waiting for me.

"Why are you standing out here?"

"I'm waiting for you to arrive so that you can let me in," Kurt answers.

"But I gave you a key."

"And I returned it. It's on your hallway table."

"But I gave it to you. It's yours."

"Oh… I thought you leant it to me…" Kurt says looking bashful. "I didn't want to assume."

"Well assume away. What's mine is yours, Kurt," I say and mean every single word. "I want to share my life with you - a key to my place is just the beginning."

"Can you open this goddamn door so that I can step inside and kiss you?" Kurt says in a low, almost growling, voice.

I fumble with the keys, eager to get inside because kissing him is all I can think about now, and it's like I have to share his breath or my lungs won't function. Once I finally manage to open the door, Kurt efficiently closes it behind us by pushing me up against it, and then his lips are on mine. There's fire in his kiss, so much heat and passion and almost some kind of desperation. Kurt is holding the front of my jacket in his hands.

"I can't believe it's possible to love someone this much," Kurt says, out of breath after the kiss, leaning his forehead against mine.

"I was kind of thinking the same," I say, feeling all hot from that kiss and those words.

Kurt lets go of my jacket and takes a small step back from me. He is about to say something when I take a step to follow him. There is no reason why we should be so far apart that our bodies aren't touching. Kurt chuckles when I step into his space again, but he doesn't move away from me. Instead he wraps his arms around me and embraces me in a tight hug.

"You're too precious, baby," he says with a smile to his voice.

I stretch out a hand towards the small table by the door, search around a little before my fingers connect with cool metal. I take the key – Kurt's key – and slide it down his back pocket.

"I want to give you a key to my place, too," Kurt says, "although I don't see us spending much time there when we can be here."

"I already have a key to your place," I say.

"No, you don't."

"Yes, I do. You gave it to me when we were eighteen. You said that wherever you live, it's my home too, and you wanted me to come and go just as if it were." The memory of the gold plated key Kurt gave me for my eighteenth birthday has been something I've carried with me through all those years, hoping that someday that statement would be true again.

"I can't believe you remember that. Do you still have that key?"

"Of course I do. It was the last thing you gave me. How could I throw that away? It's upstairs in my bedroom."

"Oh, can I see it?" Kurt says, excited for some reason.

"I want to do so much more than show you a key upstairs."

"Well, why are we still standing down here then?" Kurt asks with a smug smile in his lips.

We shrug out of our jackets and leave our shoes on the floor. I take him by the hand and lead him upstairs. I don't expect Kurt to actually want to see the key once we're on my bed, but he insists I show it to him. I have it in a box in my dresser, and when I take it out, Kurt takes the box and sits down on my bed. I sit down next to him and watch him take out the key, still in the leather necklace, from the box.

"I remember being worried that you wouldn't like my gift," Kurt says. "That you would think it was lame."

"Why would I think that? This is the sweetest and most significant gift anyone has ever given to me," I say and then on a sudden whim, I take off my shirt and put the necklace around my neck.

The flustered look on Kurt's face doesn't go by unnoticed. He bites his lips when his eyes follow the necklace from my neck down to where the key lies in the center of my chest, and then back up to meet my eyes.

"This is so unfair," he says.

"What is?" I ask.

"You looking like a freaking Greek god, an incredibly sexy Greek god furthermore. How am I going to keep all those girls and boys from stealing your attention?"

I don't know if he's entirely joking, but I don't like the insinuation that there's anyone else I'd rather be with. "Come on, Kurt, don't talk like that. You know there's only been you for the past five years, and there will never be anyone that could steal my attention away from you. You know that."

"I do," Kurt says, his eyes telling me to relax and not overreact. "You just look so much sexier now then you did back then."

"It's just the eyeliner," I joke.

"It's not," Kurt says. "Your body is so well shaped, it's ridiculous."

"That's just from spending hours taking my frustration out on the punching bag instead of using the bottle," I say, but I don't really want to talk about my body or the reasons why it looks as it does, I'd rather talk about Kurt. "If you want to look at someone truly sexy, without any props, you need go and look into the mirror over there."

I tilt my head towards the full length mirror by the dresser. It's true, something has happened with Kurt's body in the past half decade. But it's not only that, not only the physical, he's stronger, more confident. He used to be those things around me, but not around other people, now he's that person all the time.

Kurt blushes at my words, but he doesn't try to deny them. That is something he would have done back then, but not this Kurt.

Kurt pulls out his phone from his back pocket and snatches a quick photo of me.

"What are you doing?" I ask, still a little blinded by the flash.

"I have an empty frame on my shelf, I need a picture to fill it with," Kurt says, biting his lips again, making him look so darn irresistible.

"You're full of good ideas, aren't you?" I say and chuckle, feeling the desire to touch him, to be connected to him return.

"I might also want something good to look at when work gets too hectic."

"Like a distraction?"

"More like a reminder of what's waiting for me by the end of the day," Kurt says, smiling not blushing anymore. "But the eyeliner sure is a distraction. The best kind of distraction"

There's a smile tugging at his lips, and I can't stop myself from pulling him on top of me as I lie down. I cup his face and connect our lips, letting my tongue slip past his lips and into his mouth. When it meets Kurt's tongue, there are moans, and I can't tell if they're mine or Kurt's or if we're both making the same sound. All I know is that I love him, and that I've been longing to be back here in my bed with him all day. I remember us having sex all the time back then, and it feels like that part of our relationship hasn't changed. We might look a little different and act a little different, but the need to be with each other in this way hasn't changed one bit.

Kurt grinds down and I thrust up, like we're one mind thinking the same thought. One body needing the same intimacy. Kurt pushes my legs apart with his own, sliding himself into position – the position where our cocks align, and the friction is just heavenly. My hands leave his face and slide down his back, down to his ass. He's still wearing those damn skintight jeans, making it impossible for me to push my hands inside and feel his skin. We need to discuss his choice of pants, or just make sure he takes them off before we end up in bed because not being able to feel the skin of his ass is frustrating.

There's hunger in Kurt's kisses. The desperation I was feeling in his kiss downstairs is back, there's want and need, but more than that, there's pure desire. His hands move down to my pants, and he curses quietly when he fumbles with the button. But then it's open, and his hand is on my dick, and it's all pleasure from there. I moan as I feel myself grow under his touch. Kurt touching me has always been the best feeling.

My hands move up his back, fingertips tracing along his spine, feeling soft skin and hard muscles. And goosebumps. Kurt shivers from my touch, rocks himself against my thigh, as desperate as I for contact.

"There's something I've been thinking about," Kurt says out of nowhere and stops what he's doing.

Even if my body screams at him to continue, that talking can be done later, my mind is more rational. If Kurt is bringing this up now, it's probably important to him.

"What is it?" I ask and try not to let out any whimpering sounds.

I think I fail because Kurt quickly says, "Oh, I didn't mean to stop. It can wait until later." He moves his hand back, but I stop him before it reaches its destination.

"Kurt," I say softly, "tell me what you're thinking."

He rolls off of me and lies on his side next to me. I turn so that I'm facing him. "You said before that you've been with both men and women."

I groan because this is not the conversation I expected to have. Not tonight, maybe not ever. That part of my life is something I would like to bury deep under something, somewhere far away. But if Kurt is asking, I will give him the answers he wants.

"We don't have to talk about it," Kurt says when he hears my groan.

"If you want to talk about it, we should," I say.

"I just wonder if that is something you would… you know… want?" I think my confusion is shining through because he looks at me and continues. "Do you want to be with women? Is that something you like? Are you going to miss that when you're with me?"

Oh my poor, Kurt. How can he be so insecure about my feelings for him?

"You're everything I want, Kurt. Period. Okay?"

"Okay, but I-"

"I haven't been with any woman since I fell in love with you, not that way," I say and feel my cheeks heat because the next part is going to make me sound like such a douche. But I know the embarrassment will pass, and that Kurt needs to know. "I only let them blow me."

I bury my face in his shoulder, too embarrassed to look at him. "I know I'm a horrible person," I mumble.

"You're not a horrible person, Blaine," Kurt says. "What you did was horrible, but we've already talked about that. I don't need to talk about it again."

I peek up from my hiding, not sure I deserve his understanding. "Just, so that I'm perfectly clear, Kurt, I'm not attracted to any woman in any way. Nor am I to any other man - just this beautiful man on my bed."

"Good to know," Kurt says and smiles as he relaxes again.

"I'm sorry about all the things I've done while we were apart. That's not who I want to be… I really don't have any explanation-"

Kurt puts a finger on my lips to quiet me. "Let's not go there tonight, Blaine. It's in the past. Maybe someday I want to talk about it, but not tonight. This day has had enough craziness already, I don't want to bring any more of that into this night."

"Okay, but there is one more thing I want to talk about." This is something I've been thinking about today when it became very real that certain parts of my life I have no control over. There are things that I have to do, things he might not like. "Yesterday you asked me if I didn't have any concerns about us. I said no, but there is one thing I've been thinking about that does scare me," I confess.

"What is that?" Kurt asks, and I can feel him tensing. A small frown makes its way onto his face, like he doesn't like the idea of me being worried about anything when it comes to him.

I meet his eyes and hold his gaze as I brace myself for this because this is a big thing, the thing that drove us apart the last time.

"I will be away a lot, on tours and doing promotions. During the summers, I will be away for months. You broke up with me because you couldn't do long distance. Those months I won't be able to come home… and I guess I'm scared that's something you can't do."

Kurt's answer comes fast, like he doesn't need time to think about it. "I was naive back then. All of our time together we spent in our bubble, just the two of us with really no interference from the outside world, and I think I desperately wanted to keep it that way. I thought everything would change if we didn't have that time, and that we would end up fighting, and I couldn't stand the thought of us changing like that. I thought that if we stayed friends we could save ourselves from that. That we would be okay."

I understand his concerns, as I did back then, but I never agreed with him. I always believed our love was stronger than he gave it credit for. Now I hold my breath, waiting for him to continue.

"But I was so wrong, Blaine. I had no clue what my life without you would be like. I hated it, and I realized quite soon, but not soon enough, how naive I had been. I'm not scared of what the distance will do to us anymore because I know nothing is worse than not being with you. I remember you asking me if you weren't worth the effort to me. You are, Blaine. You most definitely are. I've thought a lot about this too the last couple of days. About how my life will be if we decided to do this. I know it will be hard sometimes. I know I will miss you, and that I will go crazy worrying about what you're doing. Worrying if you will fall back into old habits while on tour. But no matter what, you are worth it because I love you, and I'll gladly suffer through all those lonely nights if I'm the one you want to come home to when it's all over."

My skin forms goosebumps when he speaks. "You are the one, Kurt. And there's nothing you need to worry about. I hated my life back then, and I never want to go back to that. If by old habits you mean me inviting random strangers backstage, I hope you know I will never do that. There's only one person I want to be intimate with, only one person that has ever meant something to me. Only one person who holds my heart."

I hope he believes me and trusts me when it comes to this. Just the thought of being with someone other than Kurt… it's just unthinkable.

"I'm glad we talked about this," Kurt says. "I don't want there to be any questions or doubts when it comes to the way I feel about you. I hope you know how much you mean to me, and how much I regret what I did back then."

"I do."

"Good," Kurt says.

He remains silent for a while, like he's thinking about something. Apparently he is because what comes out next surprises me.

"There is one more thing I want to ask, and though I'm scared I won't like the answer, I need to know."

I don't know what he wants to know because it feels like we have talked about everything, and now I'm a little worried.

"Have you ever been with Sebastian?"

I can't help the snort of laughter that comes out of me. I shouldn't laugh at Kurt's concern, but the thought of me with Seb is so far out there to me. Kurt gives me a strange and not so appreciative look in return.

"Oh God, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to laugh," I say and pull him in for a kiss to show him that there's no one but him, and he doesn't have to worry about things like that. His body is a little unyielding, and he pulls away from me again.

"You said he was there for you, and, I don't know, maybe he helped you in more ways than one."

"Not in that way, Kurt!" I swallow my laughter this time because this is a real concern to Kurt, and I try my best to be serious when I continue. "I have never been with Sebastian. He's a friend, and I've never been interested in him in that way. Would that have bothered you?"

"Knowing that you've been with so many others is difficult, but that I can handle because I know they didn't mean anything to you. But the thought of him touching you that way… yes, that would have bothered me. A lot. I remember the way he talked about you the first time I met him," Kurt says and shudders. "I know he's your friend, and that he has been there for you so many times, but I can't help how much he gets under my skin."

"I know he has a cocky attitude, and sometimes it bothers me too, but underneath all that, he is actually a very caring person. I'll talk to him and make sure he doesn't bother you again though."

Kurt sighs. "I know he has a good heart when it comes to you, and I'll try so see past his annoying exterior. He's your friend, and he's going to be around whether I like him to or not."

"It's okay if you don't like him, Kurt."

"Okay," Kurt says and moves a little closer, his body much more compliant this time. "Can we just forget about all these things now? I really just want you to hold me and make love with me."

"That sounds perfect to me," I say and lean in to kiss him.

Kurt rolls on top of me again, back to eager kisses and rocking motions. Soon we're both without clothes, and being naked in bed with Kurt is so much better than being clothed with Kurt in bed. Kurt has always been the one taking the reins in bed, that part hasn't changed either. He guides my hand to where he wants me to touch him. He bites, nibbles, and licks his way down my chest, leaving marks that will last a long time. Marks that I will look at in the mirror and remember this night by.

He takes me into his mouth, uses his tongue expertly as he swirls his tongue around the tip and licks into the slit. He goes fast and slow, sucks hard before he changes, and there's hardly any friction at all, making me whine. He pulls off just before it becomes too good, like he knows I'm seconds away from coming. Like he knows this is not the way I want to come. He kisses his way up my body until our lips connect.

When he breaks the kiss, he looks at me with sparkling blue eyes filled with joy and desire.

"I know you like it when I top," Kurt says, "and that's what I like too, but tonight I want to feel you inside me." He's not blushing, not feeling shy about his wants. "Is that okay?"

"Of course it is, Kurt," I say, hoping he'll always stay like this, open and honest about what he wants from me in bed.

"It's just I haven't been with anyone that way in a very long time, and…" now Kurt is blushing, it's cute, but I want him to feel comfortable with everything around me. I want us to be able to talk about our needs without it becoming uncomfortable. I kiss his lips softly, letting him know it's okay, that he can say anything to me. "I want to experience it with you, Blaine. I haven't really felt comfortable enough with anyone else to let them do that."

I want nothing more than to give him that experience. With Kurt, I want everything. Although now I'm also wondering how many men he's been with since me. I shove those thoughts away though. I don't want anything to distract me from relishing this moment.

"I'll give you anything you want, Kurt. Always. I love feeling you inside me, but I have to admit I'm kind of dying to be inside you now." Kurt chuckles, all remains of nervousness or shyness or what it was he was feeling are gone. "I'm probably too sore from yesterday anyway," I add with a light chuckle.

"Was I that rough?" Kurt asks, worried. "I just figured that… ehm… since you…" Kurt starts, clearly not knowing how to phrase what he wants to say.

I know what he is thinking, since you've been with so many men in our time apart. I have, that's true, but never like that.

"I've never let anyone touch that way. You're the only one."

Kurt takes a moment to take in what I just told him. "Wow, that's… You should have told me, I could have been much gentler. I just figured…"

"I loved everything we did last night. It was perfect, Kurt. Don't feel bad about it. I've actually enjoyed this feeling all day."

Kurt chuckles and slaps my arm playfully. "Blaine!"

"What? I have. It's like I could still feel you inside me. I can't help that I like that feeling."

"I have the goofiest boyfriend ever," Kurt says and kisses me.

I switch us around so that I'm lying on top of him. "And I have the most adorable boyfriend ever."

Kurt places his hands on my cheeks and pulls me in for another kiss, this time softer than the desperate kisses before. His tongue moves around mine in slow movements, exploring and tasting, making me moan into his mouth. When his fingers find their way into my hair, fingertips scratching my scalp, I have to shut my eyes hard and use all of my willpower to not push into him without any preparation.

I pull away from him, not knowing how long I'll be able to control myself if he keeps doing that. I desperately want to feel him around me, but Kurt hasn't been with anyone that way in a very long time, and I know I need to take my time to make sure I won't hurt him. My own needs will have to wait.

I reach for the bottle of lube, make sure to use plenty, and make eye contact with Kurt when I gently push a first finger into him. Kurt looks back, he's relaxed and not nervous at all it seems.

"Shit, this feels good," Kurt says when I've pushed my finger all the way in. "I had forgotten what this feels like."

I try not to chuckle because it's only one finger and how will he feel when it's my cock?

"It's okay?" I ask when I pull out again and push gently back in.

"More than okay."

I slowly increase my speed with every new push, trying to make it as enjoyable as possible for Kurt. When I feel him relax around my finger, I add a second. Kurt clenches around them, letting out a whimpering sound that I don't know if it's from pleasure or pain, but his face looks serene so I'm assuming pleasure.

"Still okay?" I ask.

"Yes, yes," Kurt whimpers. "Just keep going."

I stretch him with my fingers, working them deeper into him, pushing in and pulling out. When Kurt bites down on his lip, trying to hold back his moans, I bend my fingers just so and find that magical spot.

"Oh, fuck!" Kurt cries out, unable to hold back. I sweep my fingertips over it again and Kurt lets out another cry. I see his untouched cock twitch on his belly, pre-cum leaking out and dripping down.

"You're beautiful like this," I tell him. "You're always beautiful, Kurt."

Kurt's eyes meet mine for a second, eyes filled with adoration, before he shuts them when my finger brushes over his prostate again.

I bend down to lick his cock while adding a third finger. I love tasting his pre-cum, and I feel myself swell when the taste hits my tongue. I'm trying hard not to rush this, but I'm so turned on and excited about the prospect of being inside Kurt, of hearing the sounds he makes when my fingers stretch him open, that my willpower is really being tested.

"Now," Kurt says. "I need you inside me now, Blaine. If you keep doing that I'm going to come before I even get the chance to feel you inside me."

"I really want to feel you around me," I admit. "I'm desperate for it."

"Oh God, shut up, Blaine. Just do it."

Apparently I'm not the only one desperate here. I pull out my fingers and reach for the condom and more lube. I keep eye contact as I slowly push inside. Kurt winces once, and I feel him clench around me so I stop.

"Keep going," Kurt says before I get the chance to ask him if he's okay, if I should stop. "Please don't stop."

So I keep pushing in, slowly until I can't anymore. The feeling of being inside him again after so many years is overwhelming, and I can feel the heat building up already. This is going to be over so much faster than I would want it to. I try to think about something else, but feeling Kurt around me, seeing him lying in my bed below me, it's impossible to think about anything but this feeling, this moment.

"Move, baby," Kurt reminds me and trails his fingers up my arms. So I do. I pull out and push back in. Slowly. Knowing that if I go too fast, I will only be seconds from coming. But slow is also so good. I've never had the problem of coming too fast. Not with anyone but Kurt. It was the same when we were eighteen.

I take his hands in mine, lace our fingers together, and place our hands beside his face. I lean down to kiss him, the shift in position making Kurt moan louder. He thrusts back when I push in again and again, just as desperate as I for the amazing feeling we're creating while moving our bodies together.

"I love you," I whisper into his ear.

Kurt answers by attacking that spot on my neck, nibbling at first but then sucking hard, and Oh God that is not helping me hold back my orgasm.

"S-stop, Kurt," I moan. "Or I'll come so much faster than you'll want me too."

"Touch me," Kurt moans back, and then when I snatch my hips forward, "oh fuck Blaine!" His breathing is strained, and it's like he doesn't know if he should suck or bite or just breathe. "I'm so close, Blaine. Please, touch me."

I reach down between us and take him in my hand, stroking in rhythm with my thrusts. I look down between our bodies, watch my hand curled around his cock, watch it squirt out white strings all over his belly. I hear Kurt let out sounds that might be the most sinful thing to ever cross his lips.

Watching him come is always mesmerizing, more so tonight for some reason, and it's impossible to hold back my own release. With just one more thrust, I come buried deep inside him. I keep thrusting weakly into him because this feeling is sooo good, and I don't want it to end, but soon I become dizzy and my arms go weak, and I collapse on top of Kurt.

"Are you breathing, baby?" Kurt asks after a while, gently stroking his fingers across my back. There's a smile to his voice. Happy, post-orgasm Kurt is one of my favorite versions of him.

"Barely," I answer, not quite ready to move yet. "Are you okay?"

"I'm perfect."

I manage to lift my head enough to look at him, and the smile I'm greeted with is so filled with love that I feel my heart swell.

It takes me a minute or two to get my breathing and heartbeat back to normal, or at least to a state where I'm able to move again. I pull out of Kurt and throw away the condom. Then I snuggle in close to him and pull the covers over us.

"We should shower," Kurt says. I feel his stickiness on my stomach, and I'm guessing he's feeling it, too.

"Later," I tell him. "Right now I just want to lay in your arms."

Kurt wraps his arms around me and holds me tight. I tuck my head into the crook of his neck and let myself be held.

"That was amazing," Kurt says into my hair.

"Yeah?" I ask. "You're sure you're okay? Did it hurt a lot?"

"Don't worry about it, Blaine. I'm not eighteen anymore. I can take a little pain and know that the pleasure that comes after is so worth it."

I understand exactly what he means, and I also know that soon there won't be any pain involved at all when we're together. I don't worry about this part of our relationship, but there is something else that I do worry about.

"This last day has been kind of intense," I say. "How are you feeling?"

"It has," Kurt admits, "but you have to know how happy I am. I love you, Blaine, and there's nowhere I'd rather be."

"I love you, too," I say and smile into his neck. "But you know our days won't always be like this. Not when there's work and paparazzi and fans and God knows what else."

"I know, but we managed pretty well with the paparazzi today, didn't we?" Kurt says, and I nod, placing a kiss on his collarbone. "Those things don't worry me. Maybe they should, but I just feel like you and me, we can face anything as long as we're together," Kurt says.

"And as long as we're honest with each other," I add.

"Always. I can't imagine living my life without you, Blaine. Let's not do that again."

"Never," I say.

"Let's just deal with one day at a time, okay?"

I feel myself relax. We can do this. Our love is strong. Maybe stronger than it was back then, but we've gone through a lot to be here, had to fight to end up in this place, and this time we know what we want. Our relationship might still be a secret, but for a completely different reason. This time because we both chose it to be that way. Our friends know, Burt knows, and that's all that really matters.

"I'm looking forward to going back to Lima," I say and actually mean it. I've been avoiding that place for so long, avoiding the people living there, but now I kind of long for all of it.


Notes:

Seems like the boys are going back to Lima in the next chapter :)

My plan is to update next chapter on Sunday and then the final chapter next Sunday, but it might be a few days later and I'm really sorry that I can't be more precise than this...