a/n-here goes nothing, guys. Hope the formatting is all good!

-/-

"What do you do when you know that someone you know is doing something wrong, but you don't know them well enough that you're sure it would be the right thing to confront them about it?" Will asked, pressing the phone closer to his ear.

On the other end, Michael was silent for a moment.

"What the blinking hell are you talking about, Will?"

"Nothing. Never mind."

He hung up.

-/-

Percy reached up onto the mantelpiece, pulling a silver box from between a taxidermied hawk and a large, black vase with a cork in it.

"Ah, the ceremonial tinder box," Annabeth moaned, but there was a lot more laugh in it than actual dread. "Well-used by the Jackson family for years-"
"Hey, this was my dad's," Percy defended himself, crouching in front of the fireplace. "I'm honoring a time-old tradition. I was probably conceived in front of this fireplace."

Will and Nico, both sitting on the floor, quickly edged back as far as the ring formed by the two couches would allow.

"That's disgusting," Hazel said with feeling, sliding off of the couch to sit next to Nico. He gave her a reassuring pat on the knee.

"He's lying, Haz. His birthday's in August-it's not possible for that to have happened."

"I'm not lying," Percy said indignantly. "I was just born freakishly early."

"He was born in front of this fireplace, too," Annabeth said sardonically. Will snorted.

Nico reached for the matches. "Hey, Perce-let me light it this year."

Percy clutched at his heart. "Dude, it's the first indoor fire of the year. I can't just hand it off to my baby co-"

Nico glared at him.

Percy handed over the matches. "Well, fine. But be careful. And do it with ceremony, for God's sake."

Nico shrugged and struck a match, going to toss it onto the small pile of tinder already mounded in the grate.

"NO!" Percy shouted, actually tackling him. The lit match fell onto the braided rug, where a quick-thinking Hazel stomped it out before it got out of hand.

"What the hell?" Nico protested.

"PERCY!" Annabeth cried. "You almost burned down the cape!"

"I said to do it with ceremony!" Percy said, ignoring their protests. "You have to go slowly, Nico, and have reverence for the moment." He gestured with his hands as he spoke, patting the air like it was a Chihuahua.

It's official, Will thought. I live among mad men.

-/-

July came, and Jason's birthday right on its heels.

Nico was inordinately obsessed with it, dragging Will to all kinds of shops and even down into the city to find the right gift for Jason. "Thalia won't be there," he explained, between the music store and the IHop, "so I want it to be really cool for him. Because, y'know, his life kind of sucks, too."

Will hadn't been able to argue with that, but he had put his foot down when Nico tried to buy his cousin a $500 IHop gift card. "No one," Will said emphatically, "can eat that many pancakes."

So Nico settled on a football t-shirt and a portable hibachi, and Will bought the guy a contact lens kit in the hopes that he would take the hint and stop wearing those hipster glasses, and then they went to Party World for some cheesy-themed unrecyclables to decorate the gable with.

"The Invincible Hulk, or Elmo?" Nico asked, holding up two stacks of napkins as if they were on a game show and he was expecting Will to Choose His Prize.

"How am I supposed to know? You're his cousin," Will said. "Choose a theme that fits his personality."

"Well, we seem to be out of Raging Dork plates today," Nico deadpanned. "And chances for Prying Asshole are slim, as well."

Will wordlessly selected a Spongebob Squarepants banner and held it up.

They dissolved into laughter, and didn't reassemble themselves for quite some time.

Finally, loaded down with Superman plates, napkins, banners, and balloons, Will and Nico left the store.

"So," Will said, in what he hoped was a casual tone as they crossed the parking lot, "how are things between you and Percy? I mean, are you guys together, or what?"

Nico shot him a look. "You're kidding, right?" His voice was laced with disbelief and heavy sarcasm, eyes dark in a way that screamed if this is a joke, it's not funny. The enormous idiocy of Will's opening statement hung between them, too dumb to even be mocked.

Will gave up on his fleeting attempt at subtlety. "Okay, listen to me-I didn't mean to overhear this, but . . ." He went on to tell Nico about Percy's phone conversation as they packed the plastic bags into Will's white rental car and got in. Nico listened, with an unruffled look on his face, even as Will stressed the oddity and the fishiness of the whole situation.

"He could have been talking to his mom," Nico finally offered. Will pulled out of the parking space and drove out of the lot, making a face.

"But he specifically said that he hadn't told her . . . whatever it was that he hasn't told us." he protested. "I know he's your cousin and all, but he's weird. There's this vibe about that guy that just-"

"Just what?" Nico cut him off sharply.

"He's hiding something," Will retorted. "I don't trust him."

Nico gave a short, unpleasant laugh. "I'm sorry, I didn't realize that we'd suddenly been thrown into an episode of Survivor. The hell do you mean, you don't trust him? What is he going to do, screw us out of our marshmallows?"

Will bristled at the other boy's overly defensive tone. "I'm saying that Percy is obviously keeping secrets from all of us," he said tightly. "Doesn't that bother you?"

"He's allowed his secrets," Nico snapped. "Let it be." He was totally shutting Will down, not even considering . . . whatever it was that Will was considering. He wasn't acting open-minded at all, really; as though he just wanted Will to shut up and forget about the whole topic, as if he was on Percy's side, as if, maybe-

A thought occurred to Will. "You know, don't you?" he accused.

"What?" Nico's face was a mixture of disbelief and-Will wasn't imagining it, he wasn't-guilt. He tried to hide it by twisting in his seat to glare out the window, but Will knew better.

"What's he's hiding-you know, and you aren't telling me!" Will banged the steering wheel for emphasis.

"Jesus, will you listen to yourself?" Nico growled defensively. "You sound like some whacked-out conspiracy-"
" 'It could have been his mother',", Will mocked, in an imitation of Nico's voice. "When I'd just freaking told you that he mentioned his mother. You're covering for him!"

"You're acting crazy," Nico retorted acidly. "I just don't want you talking shit about Percy."

Will snarled, "Bullshit. You think I don't know when you're lying? God, when are you going to finally stop hero-worshipping this guy?"

"This has nothing to do with hero-worship!" Nico practically yelled. "You're being ridiculous!"

"And you aren't?!" Will had to pull over to the side of the road; he was getting too angry to see straight, let alone drive. He threw the car into park and unbuckled his seat belt, whirling to face Nico. "Every time I bring up Percy, you-"

"I what?!" Nico shouted. "I love my cousin? How terrible of me!"
"You fly off the handle if I so much as sneeze in his direction!" Will yelled. "You're so overprotective of him that it makes me think you're still in love with him!"

"He's seen me through more tough times than you can imagine," Nico hissed angrily, eyes darkening. "You've no idea about him-about any of us!"

"Maybe because you won't tell me a fucking thing!" Will snarled.

They stared at each other, tense. Will timed the seconds by the rise and fall of their breath; syncing into eerie unison after only a few seconds. It was strange, how they could connect over something as small as that, and still not line up right when it came to the big issues, the Life ones.

His eyes fell to the fingers of Nico's right hand, curled so tightly around the handle of the car door that his typically olived skin was white at the knuckles, and he realized the boy was about to run.

So Will took a deep breath and calmed himself down, ignoring the part of him that was still raging with fury and jealous and a heck of a lot of other unpleasant emotions that were mostly Nico's fault.

"Let's back up," he said, just as Nico blurted out, "He's seeing someone."

Will froze, his campaign to take the high-and-mighty road crumbling at once. "Sorry . . . what?"

Nico sighed, releasing the door handle, visibly giving up. "He's seeing someone. I don't know who, so don't ask me. He met her while he was . . . away."

Will blinked. "Why the hell would he do that? I mean, if he already had a girlfriend-"

"I don't know," Nico said shortly. "I asked, but-I mean, he obviously didn't want to talk about it."

Obviously. Will had to bite his tongue to keep the sarcastic reply from slipping off of it. Percy was a cheater. What a big effing surprise. It was getting harder by the second to keep his opinion of Percy higher than ground level, and Nico's staunch support of his cousin did not help matters any.

"That's all I could get out of him. I'm sure that there's-I mean, he wouldn't just-" Nico's voice broke, and he shook his head wordlessly. His eyes flashed up to Will's. "You can't tell this to anyone. You absolutely can't tell."

"I-you-how can you ask me to do that?" Will growled. "That isn't remotely-I mean, God, I like Annabeth."

"So do I," Nico mumbled, even though it sounded more like a lie than any of the falsehoods he'd tried to feed Will. "But Percy made me swear, and now I have to make you swear."

Will stared at him, and it occurred to him that he hated Percy Jackson.

"Fine," he ground out, and started the car again.