Somewhere in an A/U. Characters belong to Janet Evanovich; I'm just playing, not making any money on this project (sadly).
Babe story; HEA; smut alert and graphic language ahead, so be warned.
Chapter 53
I spotted Mateo the minute I entered Rosa's, just after 5:15 the next evening. Rather than fight the rush-hour traffic home to Trenton and back again, I'd stayed in Newark after another brutal day at EE Martin. After leaving work at my usual quitting time of 4pm, I'd met Tina for a quick shoe-shopping excursion while I killed time waiting for my 6 o'clock dinner meeting with Dawson and his attorney, and Mateo, who was now mine.
I'd scored a few pair of really kick-ass FMPs at a deep discount, and my mood was consequently euphoric as a result. Well, because of that and the fact that I was out of EE Martin for the day, and one step closer to being an ex-employee. Damned bitch Mrs. Lebowitz had been hovering all day, waiting to swoop in if I put one toe wrong. God, I was so ready to quit that job. Which might be possible earlier than I'd anticipated, provided these contracts were all in order and I had a secure job to go to!
"Stephanie! Good to see you again!" Mateo's easy smile had me feeling relaxed, almost as if I'd known him for years. The fact that Carlos trusted him, automatically meant that I trusted him, too.
"Hi, Mateo! Thank you so much for agreeing to meet me a bit early!" I returned his smile with one of my own, and got a handshake and then a brief hug afterwards. It seemed Mateo felt just as comfortable with me, no doubt for the same reason.
We'd agreed to meet before Dawson and his attorney Peter Swifford were to join us for dinner, in order that I could officially retain Mateo's services as my attorney. We were ushered to our table, and I was pleased to discover it was the same table that Carlos and I had shared on Sunday night.
"I thought you'd feel more comfortable at this table, Stephanie."
"I do, thanks. I take it as a really good omen for the evening's outcome!"
"Would you care for a drink while we wait for your guests?"
"Actually, I'd better not," I sighed, "I don't exactly hold my liquor well, truth be told. And I have to drive back to Chambersburg, so…."
"A soft drink, then?"
"Yeah, that's a good idea! A ginger ale, please," I gave the waiter my order, and Mateo ordered a beer for himself. As we waited for our drinks, we chatted easily and I told him all about driving Carlos to the airport Monday morning. "It's been forever since then! I miss him so much! And I'm just getting started. Every evening I put another big red X on the calendar, and April 6th, 2010 is one day closer."
"At least you'll have something rewarding to occupy your time with while he's gone. You sound excited about your new business venture, Stephanie. I think you'll do well with it, too! Dawson Books has a great personal reputation, as I said when we spoke earlier. Very honest man, quite above board and dependable. And I did some checking around: his company has a long history in the lingerie industry, albeit these days they've fallen behind the times on designs. I take it that's why he's recruited you to come on-board."
"Exactly. We were at EE Martin Monday, and I was telling him we couldn't place an order with him because--well, because women don't wear that sort of thing anymore! The designs were very old-fashioned, unfortunately. And so then he allowed me to make some improvements to the lines of the sketches he'd brought in with him. He liked them--and we got to talking, and he offered me the job. After about 10 seconds of shock, I said yes! And here I am!"
"It took a lot of courage to jump into the venture," Mateo complemented me, "Carlos will be proud of you."
I smiled, "I think without him, I probably would have said no. But he gave me the confidence to make changes in my life. Unleash my inner Wonder Woman, as it were."
He laughed, "Wonder Woman, huh? You probably know Carlos' nickname is Superman!"
"Yeah, Wonder Woman and Superman getting together! We talked about that. It's another thing we connect on, Carlos and I. Wanting to live our lives our way, taking a different path than the norm. I guess it's uncanny how many things we bonded on so quickly."
The waiter returned with our drinks, and Mateo waved the menus away, saying that we were waiting for 2 guests. "I guess it goes without saying that Carlos took me by total surprise when he told me about you, Stephanie."
"I'm sure he did." I watched Mateo, knowing he was trying to figure out a way to say something without offending me. My spidey sense, I guess. "Look, put it out there, OK? Carlos loves you like a brother: he told me you two grew up together, you've been through a lot. I love him. I'm going to marry him. So comes June, 2010, you and I are practically going to be in-laws, Mateo. I don't beat around the bush where Carlos is concerned. Where anything is concerned. Not anymore. I'm the new, improved Stephanie Plum. So I'm giving you a free pass to say what you're thinking without me getting offended in the least. Go for it!"
He blinked, digesting my words, and I saw him fighting a grin that he eventually allowed to shine out. "Damn, I can see another reason why he's so crazy about you, Stephanie! Carlos hates wasting time with polite bullshit! That's actually the kind of thing I can hear him saying, you know: 'put it out there'. It's one of the reasons I trust him so much. In everything. That and the fact that he's smart as a whip and has dead-on instincts where people are concerned. His bullshit threshold is nil. Carlos knows exactly what he wants in life and he goes for it, full-tilt. And he wants you."
"He has me. He always will. Look, I just did 10 rounds last night with my mother over the fact that Carlos and I are engaged after only one weekend together. I'm guessing this is going to be more of the same? Or am I wrong?"
"Not exactly, Stephanie. I'm going to put it out there, as you invited me to. I did 10 rounds with Carlos already, asking him if he knew what the hell he was getting himself into with this whirl-wind of a relationship, especially with him then shipping out for 18 months. He told me you're both certain you're in love to last, that you've had the discussion ad-nauseum. That you've given him hope for the future. For that I can never thank you enough. I know about the 90% fatality rate of this mission--he told me. And I know he told you, too."
"He's going to be in the 10%, don't doubt him, Mateo. I don't."
"I think so, too. Especially because he has you waiting for him at the end of it. I'm not against you two getting married. Don't misunderstand, please! Because I've never seen Carlos happier, not in all the years I've known him. And that's because of you, Stephanie. He's my brother, in every way that matters. And what makes him happy, makes me happy. I'm on your side. Both of you. Please believe that. But having said that, I'm going to warn you that it's going to be a tough 18 months without him. You're a beautiful woman. You're going to have a lot of opportunities to date---"
"I get it! I see where you're going with this. Carlos gave me the same speech, actually. Along with a free pass to find another man while he was gone. I'm telling you the same thing I told him: I don't want another man. I want Carlos. And I'm willing to wait for him. I appreciate what you said, but honestly, Mateo: nothing is going to change my mind. I know 18 months is a hell of a long time to wait for someone, even if you had more time than a weekend to get to know a person before he left. But it's not the quantity of the time, it's the quality. And Carlos and I had quality time together this weekend. We've spend more time talking--I mean, really talking--than in all of the relationships either one of us have had in the past, all rolled into one. I know him. He knows me. Nothing is going to change for either of us in 18 months."
"I'm glad to hear that, Stephanie. And for the record--I believe you. I think you're both a damned good match up. But, did I miss the June 2010 wedding date? Because I'm sure that Carlos never men---"
"Carlos told me to plan our wedding however I wanted to. I suspect that was his way of giving me something to distract me with while he was gone. He told me that, big or small, I was to plan my dream wedding. And I picked June, because I've always wanted to be a June bride. Plus, I figured that since Carlos gets back April 6th, he'd need some time to de-stress and connect with his family and friends first. And he'd have time to get involved with the planning, too: draw up the invitations, name his Best Man and groomsmen, plan the honeymoon---"
"He actually told me that he wanted to marry you on the day he got back home. April 6th, 2010. Did you know that?"
"He's not getting away with a quickie wedding," I laughed, "Besides, we're spending the first week he's back locked in room 407 of the Hilton: he already made the reservations."
"I know. Something about An Affair To Remember?"
"He told you all that?"
"He told me, all right. And he told me about the need for having a back-up plan, just in case something went wrong! So I'm supposed to reschedule another hotel if the Hilton closes between now and then--"
I burst out laughing. "Omigod! Did he give you the reservation number?"
"He did--yes, of course he did! Along with his American Express card number and urgent instructions to make sure you two have reservations for room 407 for the week he comes back, no matter which hotel it has to be changed to. But somehow, I don't think the Hilton is going belly-up before he gets back."
"I hope not: I kinda like that hotel. We have a lot of great memories built there!"
"You said you went 10 rounds last night. Your mother's giving you grief about Carlos?"
"My mother actually had a matrimonial candidate ready and waiting for me for dinner last night, believe it or not! No, I wasn't interested."
"I didn't mean to offend you with that comment--"
"No offense taken, Mateo. Honestly. But things are kind of strained between my mother and me right now. Especially now, I mean. Things are usually strained between my mother and me, wedding or not. Another thing Carlos and I bonded on."
"He told you about his father, I know. It's a shame, but Carlos deals with it very well."
I nodded, "But it still hurts him. I know: I go through the same thing with my mother. My sister can do no wrong, and I can do no right. Carlos told me about his brother, and I told him about my perfect sister St. Valerie. And we did more bonding."
"Yeah, I get it."
"Until you've lived your whole life with it, you can't really get it, though. It's a special kind of pain, Mateo. Knowing that your own parent thinks you're not good enough. Always coming in second to someone else, in every single contest there is. Knowing you always will, no matter what. Because you have the unmitigated gall not to live your life the way your parent thinks you should."
"I'm sorry, Stephanie."
"Me, too. Last night though, that was not pretty. At all. I told her about the engagement, and instead of being happy for me, she tried to pawn me off on a Burg guy--Chambersburg, I mean--instead. And not just any guy, mind you: this guy and I had an unhappy history together. He was my first--and it wasn't good, not in the least. Carlos knows the full story, by the way. Any normal mother wouldn't let this guy within 20 feet of their daughter--but mine? No, she can't push us close enough. Sorry, I'm more than a bit bitter about it."
"I'm thinking you stood up to her, and there was a nasty argument?"
"Kinda. Let's just say, I'm not convinced she won't actively try to sabotage my wedding plans. Carlos is Cuban-American, from outside of the Burg. My mother prefers a 100% Italian, home-grown neighborhood guy, if you get the picture. Any 100% Italian home grown Burg guy will do."
"Got it."
"I was originally planning on getting married in my home parish of St. Stephen's. I was going to call the church today and see if I could book a date in mid-June. But after last night's battle, I started to seriously rethink things. If she can easily gum up the works--and in the Burg, she can--then she'll be taking over. No matter how many times I put my foot down and try to stop her. And my wedding--mine and Carlos'--will suddenly be unrecognizable to either him or me. It'll be an Ellen Plum Musical Extravaganza. With the same nightmarish consequences as my first monstrosity. My first wedding, I mean: to Dickie Orr. The bastard who cheated on me like 5 minutes into the marriage. That was another Ellen Plum production: groom choice and all. I'm not risking it again."
"What's the alternative, Stephanie?"
"Well, see that's where Wonder Woman gets inventive," I grinned, winning a smile in return. Mateo was starting to enjoy this, I could tell. "If I move the wedding completely out of the Burg, she loses her big advantage! No calling Father Cowen at St. Stephen's behind my back and changing the arrangements I've already made. No booking the local VFW hall for another date and changing the decorations I already picked out. No asking Mrs. Piccolomini's sister Isabella to cater 100% Italian food, after I specifically told her I wanted Cuban food so Carlos would feel at home."
"So where are you thinking of moving the wedding?"
"Where else? Newark! I want to have the reception here at Rosa's! I want to talk to Papa and Alejandro about it, that's one of the reasons I suggested we meet here tonight!"
Mateo started to choke on his beer suddenly.
"Are you OK?"
"Fine. Fine." He recovered quickly, "Just went down the wrong pipe, that's all. Did you say, you wanted to have the reception here at Rosa's?"
"Absolutely! Carlos would love it! It's going to be a surprise!"
"It will be that, all right," Mateo agreed. "But I don't know if that's really the best---"
"Stephanie!" Dawson and his attorney made his way through the maze of tables. "There you are! You're looking well, my dear!"
We exchanged pleasantries, and within a matter of minutes the previously-acquainted Mateo and Peter began doing their attorney-thing as Dawson and I watched anxiously. I think we were both eager to get the formalities out of the way so we could begin the new business relationship we'd both decided to commit to.
"These terms are quite generous," Mateo informed me, "Extremely generous, in fact."
"I think Stephanie's worth every penny," Dawson replied, "I want her on-board with me; and whatever it takes, I'm willing to do, in order to make that happen."
"My client thinks highly of your design skills, Miss Plum," smiled Swifford.
"Please: call me Stephanie. I'm sure this is going to work out for both of us, Dawson. I had some more ideas, I just can't wait to put them down on paper!"
"Right now, I'd prefer that you put your signature down first, so we can officially launch this venture," Dawson smiled.
"There's nothing I'd rather do more," I admitted, "EE Martin is not a very pleasant place to work these days, trust me when I say that."
And it wasn't. Not only because of that witch Mrs. Lebowitz hounding me from 8-4, Monday through Friday, but also because of some unexplainable something else that my spidey-sense had been picking up on for the last couple of weeks. Tina had told me off-the-record that Edward Martin, III, the partner for whom she worked, had been closeted for hours at a time with his attorney in the past few days. And he'd had a steady stream of meetings with his accountant, as well. Tina and I were wondering if the bad economy would catch up to the company before long. Ever-prepared, Tina already had her resume updated and ready for printing, should things go poorly and EE Martin start laying off long-time employees.
"Well, Stephanie," Mateo handed me the contracts finally, "If you're really that anxious to leave EE Martin, I'm going to recommend that you sign on the dotted line. Because this gives you not only a job, it gives you a great career-path. And the financial rewards are substantial."
"I can sign?" I said, excitedly, "It's good?"
"You can sign," Mateo smiled, "It's not only good, it's fantastic! Congratulations! Best of luck on your new career!"
"Woo hoo!" I whooped, grabbing the pen and signing the contracts with a flourish. "I can't wait to give my 2 weeks notice!"
"I can't wait until you do," Dawson signed immediately after I did. "In fact, I'm hoping you can get out sooner than 2 weeks."
"It might be possible," I replied, "I have 3 weeks of vacation coming to me." I looked over at Mateo, "Legally, can I go in tomorrow and give my notice, then take my vacation time and walk out for good right then and there?"
"They'd probably prefer for you to do just that," Mateo said, as Swifford and Dawson both nodded agreement. "In fact, Stephanie, I wouldn't be at all surprised if they require you to clear out your desk and leave the minute you officially file your notice of intent to leave. You're in a position as a buyer to have proprietary information concerning EE Martin. You're leaving to seek work at a company that might make use of that information, should you stay that extra 2 weeks."
"I never thought of that," I admitted. All I'd thought of was how much I wanted out of EE Martin! "So they'd really give me the boot, huh?"
"Probably. Not that they'd be firing you, you understand. You'd still be the one resigning. And don't worry: they'd still be obligated to pay you for your vacation time, since it's October. But just be prepared: they'll probably work out an arrangement for you to leave immediately once you hand in your notice. And since that seems to be your choice anyway--"
"It sure is! I'll hand in my notice tomorrow, then! Omigod! I can't wait to see Mrs. Lebowitz' face," I grinned. "Think Wicked Witch of the West. Then think 100 times bitchier. That's Mrs. Lebowitz."
All three men nodded solemnly. Then Books admitted, "She does seem a most odious woman! I can't imagine having to work for her, day in and day out."
"She's a complete and total bitch." I smiled. "But she's not my problem anymore, thank God. I'm going to have a good time saying good-bye to her, I can promise you that!"
"You'll let me know when you're prepared to start?" Dawson asked, "I gather you want to take at least some of that 3 weeks of vacation before you begin with us?"
"Just a week of it," I decided, "I'm going to start wedding planning a bit. Then really fun part: wedding dress shopping!"
"Ah, yes! I remember! Your upcoming wedding to your young man in the Army," Dawson nodded, "I understand perfectly, Stephanie. When is the wedding scheduled for?"
"Not until June 2010, unfortunately," I sighed, "But I suggested we meet at Rosa's today because I want to have the reception here. The food is delicious, and this is Carlos' favorite restaurant. Right, Mateo?"
Mateo looked at me with a strange expression on his face.
"Wonderful! Yes, I've always enjoyed eating here," Dawson continued, and Mateo was saved from responding.
"The food is very good," Peter Swifford agreed, "My niece had her wedding reception here two years ago. June, huh? You should think about having it in the garden area behind the restaurant. They have a terrace and the decorations are quite lovely on a summer evening."
"I'm going to talk to Papa about it after we finish here," I smiled, "Where is he, anyway? I thought he'd be around--"
"Papa?" Peter looked confused.
"You know! Papa! The owner!"
Now he looked even more confused. "You mean Mr. M---"
"Papa!" Mateo interrupted heartily, giving Swifford an indefinable look. "We all call him Papa, Peter. Everyone calls him Papa. Remember?"
There was a long moment of silence.
"Oh….oh! OH! Papa!" Swifford nodded enthusiastically, his eyes holding Mateo's for a moment longer. "That Papa! Silly me! Of course! You want to talk to Papa about the arrangements. Naturally."
I grinned happily, "Yeah. Carlos and I were here Sunday night and he introduced me to Papa, the owner, and to Alejandro, the chef. And since Carlos had to go on a tour of duty for 18 months, I thought I'd surprise him by making the arrangements for our wedding reception to be here at his favorite restaurant!"
Mateo gave me a soft smile, "You know what, Stephanie? I can guarantee you that Carlos is going to be beyond surprised!"
"Yeah, that's what I thought!" I was so proud of myself!
The waiter came back with our appetizers, and before long we were digging in enthusiastically.
We were making small talk, and waiting for our entrees when Papa emerged from the kitchen, clad in a chef's uniform, and made a bee-line for our table.
"Estefanía! My dear, how lovely you look tonight! I have been so busy tonight--Alejandro is out with a stomach flu--and I am once again in my beloved kitchen!" Papa was beaming ear-to-ear, so I suspected he was more than pleased to be a chef again.
He took my hand and kissed it with a huge flourish, and I felt myself blushing.
"I was wondering where you were, Papa! I was hoping to have a few minutes of your time after we conclude our business meeting here. But if you are busy tonight, may I make an appointment to come back?"
"Nonsense! There is always time for me to speak with the lovely Estefanía!" Papa assured me. "The food is to everyone's satisfaction tonight?"
"It's excellent," Dawson assured him.
"Delicious," Peter agreed.
"Papa, you're a master in the kitchen, as always," Mateo said, smiling. "So Alejandro has caught the bug from the children?"
"Unfortunately," Papa agreed, sighing, "You understand how it is. They are of an age that they pick up sickness at school and it spreads quickly throughout the house. But regardless: I have an iron constitution! Nothing gets me down! You have ordered what tonight, my Estefanía?"
"I ordered the Paella Valenciana, Papa. The dish Carlos ordered Sunday night," I smiled, "I know it is his favorite, and I'm trying it because I want to be able to describe it to my friends."
"It is saffron rice, garnished with shrimp, mussels, scallops, Chorizo sausage and chicken, with sweet peas and roasted peppers." Papa nodded to the people at the next table over, and continued to beam at me. "Did you have the Papas Rellenas and the Empanadas, as well? Those were for you, yes?"
"Naturally," I laughed, "I had lovely dreams of them Sunday night."
"You would not know it to look at her lovely figure, but my Estefanía loves her food!" Papa laughed.
I grinned. "I do, indeed! And Rosa's is the best place to eat! That's why I am hoping you will have room for me in June, 2010!"
Papa looked around, puzzled. Mateo shrugged, then looked at me.
"Carlos and I are getting married then, and we'd like to have the reception here. If you can fit us in!"
For a moment, I thought Papa was going to pass out: he was completely shell-shocked. I saw him look over at Mateo, who only nodded. Then Papa looked again at me. "Carlos--Carlos wants this?"
"He proposed to me on Sunday evening, officially," I smiled, showing Papa my ring. "Isn't it lovely? He picked it out himself. It's the most beautiful ring in the world!"
"Congratulations, my child! Carlos is a very lucky man to have won the heart of a woman so beautiful, and so loving!" Papa took my hand and again gave me a courtly kiss. "I know you will both be very happy! You have my best wishes, both of you! And Alejandro's too--I will tell him the happy news tonight. I'm sure he joins in sending felicitations!"
"Thank you, Papa! But I feel I am the lucky one: Carlos is a wonderful man. He is a man of honor, and bravery, and capable of such tenderness. And he is so romantic!"
"Stephanie is surprising Carlos with the reception here, Papa." Mateo said quietly. "He left her to plan all the arrangements for their wedding. And Stephanie has chosen Rosa's for their reception so that Carlos feels at home."
"I am honored that you have given us your trust, Estefanía! Name the date, and Rosa's is at your command!"
"I haven't got a date booked with the church yet," I confided, "But mid-June 2010 is the time-frame we are looking at. I wanted to sit down with you and Alejandro and talk about the menu and get your suggestions on the dishes to serve our guests. I want all of Carlos' favorite foods, naturally! And I want to book the band and the singers from Sunday night, if that's possible?"
"They are yours, Estefanía! You have my word. Give me the date once you know it, and the arrangements are as good as made. I myself will take charge of helping you to plan this great celebration! Guillermo, our event manager, will not be needed!"
"Thank you, Papa! You are very kind!" I was ecstatic: things were falling into place at a dizzyingly fast pace. "This is so beyond fantastic! The only thing that would be better would be having Carlos here with me."
"Then you would not be waiting until June 2010," Mateo said, giving Papa a look that I couldn't quite define.
"Estefanía?" Papa looked over at me quizzically. "This is true?"
"Carlos wanted to get married immediately," I confessed. "He told me the decision for a wedding, big or small, was mine."
"Ah, every girl dreams of growing up and having a big wedding!" Papa smiled.
"It's not that, exactly," I revealed, "I had a big wedding the first time around."
Papa's face froze. "What? You have married before? In the Catholic church?"
"Yes. For all of about 5 minutes: he cheated on me," I said quietly, "It was a colossal mistake. I should never have married him, but my mother--well, let's just say that he was someone she thought was a good match for me. And I was naïve enough to marry him. The ink hadn't dried on the marriage license before I found him cheating on me in my own home, and I left him."
"The man was a fool." Papa looked over at Mateo. "There was an annulment, yes?"
"No, a divorce," I sighed. "But you know what?" I said, an idea forming, "You're right! That marriage should never have happened! I'm going to look into getting an annulment! If I can, that is. I'll have to check out the rules and regulations."
Papa's face brightened instantly, "Mateo will help you. Yes?"
Mateo nodded, "If Stephanie wishes. Of course."
"Yes, I definitely do wish," I decided. "There's plenty of time to get it done. And the more I think about it, the more I'm certain there are grounds to get it done. I would like Carlos to be my first and only husband in the church's eyes. Yes, thank you, Papa! I'm going to pursue an annulment!"
"We know people--important people--in the church." Papa said authoritatively. "And Mateo, he is an excellent attorney. This what-do-you-call-it '5 minute marriage'? Poof! The papers will be filed and it will never have happened!"
"Do you think your ex-husband will argue the motion?" Mateo asked.
"Dickie? Are you kidding? No, I think he'll be fine with it. I didn't take any alimony from him. I just wanted out of the marriage. I'm pretty certain he won't stand in the way of an annulment." And I was: Dickie was all about avoiding conflict. Plus it was in his best interests, too: he would be free to marry some poor sucker in the future without a divorce decree on his resume.
"Dickie? This is his name?" Papa spoke it with extreme distaste. "What kind of grown man calls himself Dickie?"
I almost laughed: he sounded almost exactly like Carlos!
"Dickie Orr." I saw the name register with Peter Swifford. "You have the misfortune of knowing him, I see."
"He doesn't have a great reputation for honesty, I'm afraid."
"You're telling me! I'm the one he cheated on!"
"This man is a cad! Mateo will make the arrangements to push the annulment through as soon as possible, Estefanía! Do not spend a moment's more worry on the matter!" Papa gave a look to Mateo, who nodded. "It will be handled quickly, with all discretion."
"Absolutely. In the meantime--" Mateo checked his watch, with a slight smile. "I suspect Papa has forgotten that there is no Alejandro slaving away in the kitchen tonight."
Papa's expressive eyes suddenly registered that fact, and he gave a muffled groan. "Indeed! Alas, I cannot stay and converse with my lovely Estefanía any longer! My customers are hungry, and without me in the kitchen, they will starve! That can't be allowed to happen at Rosa's! Enjoy your dinner, please. And for your sake, my lovely Estefanía, I shall send out an extra large portion of dessert!" He gave me a quick wink, and quickly hustled back to the kitchen.
Several hours later, I was curled up on my sofa on the phone with Mary Lou, as promised, giving my friend a complete recap of the evening's events.
"So anyway, I talked to Mateo about it in more detail after dinner, and he tells me there are a few grounds I can use for the annulment! And it's a good thing Papa suggested it, Lou. Or else I'd have been in for a nasty surprise when I called the rectory and tried to book a date for the wedding!"
It honestly had never occurred to me that I'd need my marriage to Dickie the Prick to be annulled before I could be married in the church again. OK, so whip me with a wet noodle, and get it done with, why don't you? I'm officially an idiot! But I was pleading temporary insanity: I'd been on a whirlwind since I'd met Carlos Friday night, and my feet were still not touching the ground.
"OMIGOD! You're right! Steph, I totally should have thought of it!" Mary Lou groaned, "But it's do-able, he says? The annulment, I mean?"
"Totally do-able! He listed the grounds, and one of them is fraud--which fits because Dickie had the ongoing affair with Joyce all the way up to and into the marriage. And I have even better grounds, because remember Dickie had the vasectomy without telling me! Which frankly I want to give him a medal for, since I can't imagine anything that would have been worse than having Dickie's kids."
"Asshole."
"Amen."
"So you're filing the papers? What does your mother think?"
"Who gives a flying furry fart what she thinks about it? Not moi, for damned sure!"
Mary Lou started laughing, and I joined her. After the Morelli incident last night, my mother was officially on my shit list.
"Speaking of The Prick, I heard from Lenny that Dickie's all banged up, looking like he got run over by not one, but two freight trains!"
"You're kidding? What happened? Did Lenny hear?" This was big news!
"He tripped down the stairs--or so Dickie told Liz, the admitting nurse at County General's ER. You know Liz, right? She's Betty Ann Morinski's youngest daughter. She's dating Lenny's friend Ben McCartney. Anyhow, Lenny said Dickie claims he missed the first step and went down about 8 stairs and slammed into the wall face-first."
"Interesting. Does she buy it?"
"Nope. Not at all!Liz told Ben, who told Lenny, that she's seen a lot of fist fights, and trust her, this was definitely a fist fight! And Dickie got the worst of it by a country mile. She said he was jacked up pretty good, too. He's on crutches, with a broken leg, a sprained wrist and two black eyes, as well as numerous bruises. He's in a world of hurt, for sure."
"Probably met a jealous husband in a dark alley. Want to bet?"
"No doubt about it. Can't think of anyone who deserves a beating more than Dickie, I gotta tell you."
"You and me both, Lou. I have to admit, I don't feel one bit sorry for him, though."
"Me, either. I'd have liked to land a few punches in there, myself!"
"I know damned well I would. So would Carlos, on my behalf. Remember I told you that I gave him the real story on what Dickie tried to do to me? He's just damned good and lucky that Carlos didn't run into him, or he'd be flat on his back still. Or worse."
"Maybe it will teach him a good lesson. So, tell me: are you going to quit your job tomorrow, for sure?"
"You better believe I am. Just wait till I tell you my plan, Lou!"
And I did just that, a few moments later. In detail. I was happy as can be, having searched on the internet for a big surprise for Mrs. Lebowitz tomorrow, and coming up with that special something that would make my resignation one for the ages.
"You aren't!" Mary Lou was giggling so hard I thought she was going to pee her pants.
"I am. Trust me, the look on that bitch's face is going to be priceless! Just ask Tina: she's going to be my eyewitness. Among others."
"OMIGOD! You are too much, girl!"
"Don't mess with me, I tell you! Especially when I have a better job offer and all the power is in my hands now! She soooooooo has this coming!"
"I agree! I don't suppose I could come to visit you tomorrow and be there to see this big moment?" Her voice was wistful.
"You know what, Lou? Why not? Show up at the front desk tomorrow at 10am and tell them you have to speak to me, that it's an emergency! They'll call my cubicle and I'll tell them to send you in. And that'll guarantee the Wicked Witch will descend on me and then I'll press the button and start the show. How's that?"
"You're my hero, Steph."
"That's what Tina told me when I gave her my news."
I grinned. Now I had two people living vicariously through me! It totally rocked to be Stephanie Plum!
