Chapter 44: Chaos and Complications

"Out of chaos comes order."
~Friedrich Nietzsche


The Chasind army set-up in the barracks and in tents; the Rainesfere solders split their group between tents and barracks, as well. Adler came to report to Gareth, who gave him a bear hug, which was returned in equal measure.

"Kommandant, may the spirits smile upon your son! Congratulations."

"Thank you Adler. I understand from Fergus that you mustered the army in less than an hour. Well done, man!"

Adler grinned.

At that moment, Adler's Rainesfere counterpart arrived. "Greetings, your Grace, Ser Adler. I am Ser Lorcan. Welcome to Rainesfere."

Adler looked at the man. I'm happy it is cloudy today; Lorcan's armor would be blinding in full sunlight. "Ser Lorcan, thank you for sharing the barracks with my men. Please, what form of address is 'Ser'?"

"Ser means that Lorcan is Knight of the Realm." Gareth responded, with a hint of unease.

Adler smiled. "I am no Knight of a Fereldan Realm, but you can call me Herr Adler, or simply Adler. Will that be acceptable, Lorcan?"

Gareth tried not to laugh; Lorcan didn't know what to make of Adler's request. Finally, held out his arm, Adler gripped it. "Well met, Adler."

"You as well, Lorcan."

Gareth looked at the two men. "I was thinking that training would start tomorrow, and then the day after, the men might enjoy an informal tournament. What do you both think?"

Adler raised an eyebrow. "That could be interesting; do you want us to mix up the men or have our army versus army?"

Gareth looked thoughtful. "I would like to integrate the soldiers in to two mixed teams. It might help them bond faster."

Adler and Lorcan nodded their agreement. Adler looked to Gareth. "If you will excuse me, I need to make sure that my men are settled in."

"As do I. Adler. perhaps I can arrange some entertainment for tonight? We have some fine minstrels and dancers who would love to perform in front of such a large audience."

Adler nodded, as he and Lorcan walked off the barracks discussing watch schedules.

Gareth let out a deep sigh of relief. Kasch came up next to him. "Kommandant, would you prefer me to stay with the men, or continue my guard detail inside the estate?"

I think you should be with the soldiers and your squad. Much has happened since we left Ostagar. With all of my wife's companions around, she will continue to be protected. Your service has been invaluable Kasch, thank you."

Kasch bowed left to join his men. Gareth went back into the estate.


While Gareth was out with the armies, Fergus stayed in the estate. He and Siobhan had a lot to talk about, and not all of it would be easy, so he was hesitant. Aya, however, was insistent.

"Do not waste a moment, please, you both have much to discuss." She waved her hands dismissively. "Do not be sidetracked by this chaos. Go somewhere private and talk."

"But Bryce…" Siobhan began

Aya merely raised an eyebrow. "I will watch Bryce. He has been fed, yes?'"

Siobhan smiled. "Yes, very well in fact."

"Then go, both of you."

Teagan let them use his study. It was quiet and private. It also had a very comfortable sofa, which turned out to be a blessing for both Siobhan and Fergus. When they sat, they both sighed in relief of their pain. Looking at each other, they just shook their heads and chuckled.

"I've only just met Aya, but I can already tell how deeply she cares for you."

"Then you're alright with her and I?"

"Of course! She makes you happy. Does that mean I don't miss Oriana? Of course not, but she would want you to go on and live your life. Which is what I want you to do as well. Besides, I now have someone who I knowwill tease you when I cannot."

Fergus rolled his eyes, and then looked in mock horror. "Please, please be gentle with me!"

Siobhan laughed. "I'm so grateful to have you back."

"Same here, pup; same here."

Fergus asked about the Grey Wardens and the Blight. Siobhan explained, as best she could, about what a Blight is, what it could mean, and that Grey Wardens were the only ones who could slay an Archdemon.

His eyes could not hide the fear and worry he felt. "Surely, there are others who are going to assist?"

"Yes, definitely! " Siobhan explained about the treaties and that the only help they hadn't yet secured were the dwarves. "That's why I need to leave for Orzamar, as soon as possible. Once we have the support of the Dwarves, we will have an army large enough to help Alistair and I… kill the Archdemon."

Fergus looked at his sister. Her youthful face was belied by the haunted look in her eyes. Her eyes reflected the all the toil, worry, pain, and death she had seen.

He asked about the birth of his nephew and Siobhan's face lit up. He was surprised to hear that Gareth was there to watch the birth. "I'm just glad he was able to be here."

Siobhan smiled. "You, of course, had nothing to do with that…"

"Actually, it was a group effort; your husband has developed an extraordinary relationship with the Chasind."

Siobhan smiled with pride. "He is an extraordinary man."

"Yes, but stubborn. Very, very stubborn."

"Well, he does give me a run for my money."

Fergus was silent a long time, just watching Siobhan. She knew what he was thinking and braced for the question she dreaded.

Fergus leaned forward and held her hand. "Siobhan, what happened the night of Howe's attack?"

She proceeded to recount the events of that horrible night in Highever. She did not go into detail about how Oriana and Orin had been found, but she told him everything else.

It was so difficult for Siobhan to retell the events of that night; several times she broke down and sobbed, reliving the nightmare. Fergus was about to have her stop talking about it, but Siobhan refused.

"Fergus, do you want to know all that happened?"

Fergus sighed. "Yes, but not at your expense."

"From who else can you hear it, if not from me?"

Fergus hung his head as Siobhan stroked his hair and ended her account with her arrival at Ostagar. After that, she couldn't go on, she could only cry. Fergus moved closer to her on the sofa and held Siobhan in his arms as she sobbed.

My heart began healing, while my body was healing. Siobhan has never really had a chance to grieve. Maker, if I ever see Howe or Loghain…

Once Siobhan's sobs had quieted, she continued. "Fergus, Loghain was just awful. I could tell that the news of Gareth's death tore his heart out, just as it did mine, but the horrible things he said to me were beyond words."

"That's when you tried to stab him?"

Siobhan could only nod.

"So Duncan conscripted you into the Grey Wardens to protect you from the right of High Justice?"

Again, Siobhan could only nod.

"Pup, I can't believe you missed."

Siobhan startled and looked up to see the twinkle in her brother's eyes. As it always had, it made her laugh.

Fergus walked Siobhan upstairs after their talk. He then found Aya in the family room singing to baby Bryce. When she looked up at Fergus, his breath caught in his throat. He loved Aya, but it wasn't until that moment, looking into her eyes as she held Bryce, that he realized he wanted to start a new life with Aya, and to be a father once again.


Alistair was pacing in his room, going over everything he had learned from Udell; between killing the Archdemon, and the situation with Flemeth and Morrigan, his blood was boiling.

He was so deep in thought that he started at the knock at his door. "Enter!"

In walked last person he expected, Morrigan.

She looked uncomfortable, but still carried herself with the annoyingly, condescending, self-assurance that Alistair loathed.

"Alistair, I need to speak with you and Siobhan. There are…some things you both need to know."

Alistair motioned for her to come in. After he closed the door, he turned to her, his face, dark and angry, his voice cold. "You mean about how to kill an Archdemon? Aren't you are the expert, isn't that why your mother pushed you on us?"

Morrigan simply looked at Alistair, her gaze scorching. Alistair ignored it and continued.

"Remember, I talked with Udell; he furthered my Warden education, quite well. So I ask you, what did your mother send you to do?"

Arching a delicate eyebrow. "Are you finished bellowing? I assure you, 'tis not something that would hurt either of you. 'Twill only help you. I was going to talk to Siobhan about it, and came here to bring you with me."

"You are here to help us? That's rich!"

"Believe what you will, 'tis, however, the truth."

"I don't want to involve Siobhan until I know what we're dealing with."

"Is she not the Commander? Are you not required to report this situation to her immediately?"

Morrigan was right. He knew that if Duncan had been the Commander, he wouldn't have hesitated going to him. Of course Duncan wouldn't have been a week past giving birth.

Alistair gritted his teeth. "As much as I hate to admit it, you're right."

"Your…apology is so heartfelt"

Alistair ignored the sarcasm. "Let's just go find Siobhan, shall we?"

On their way downstairs, they encountered Leliana, who mentioned that Fergus and Siobhan were having a private talk in Teagan's study.

Alistair motioned Morrigan aside and whispered harshly. "This is not over!"

Gareth had just come inside when he saw Alistair walking away from Morrigan; both wore expressions of frustration and anger. Gareth intercepted Alistair and motioned towards the dinning hall. "What's the matter? You and Morrigan looked like you were going to tear out each other's throats."

"Morrigan has been nothing but a thorn in my side, a big ugly one."

As they entered the dining hall, Gareth asked one of the servants for two pints of ale.

Alistair smiled. "So you are a mind reader as well?"

"It didn't take a mind reader to know that you needed a drink, just a pair of eyes."

The men settled in the far corner of the dinning hall with some ale and nutmeats. They mostly chatted, until Alistair had a half pint in him and he started to relax.

"So, aside from being a colossal pain in the arse, what was going on between you Morrigan?

Alistair looked at Gareth. He looked like a younger version of his father, but he was as different from Loghain, as chalk was from cheese. There was something in his eyes and relaxed manner that put Alistair at ease.

Alistair stared at his mug, then looked up. "Udell was a wealth of information about the Grey Wardens. As it turns out, his father was a Warden."

Gareth arched an eyebrow, he has suspected some connection, given the tribe's battle cry, but he had never asked Udell and Udell had never volunteered the information. "I get the impression that not all Udell told you was good news."

Alistair nodded. "He told me how Grey Wardens slay an Archdemon, and that Morrigan and Flemeth are somehow wrapped up in all this. Flemeth sent Morrigan to us for a special reason and Morrigan knows what it is, but has failed to mention it, until now."

"Alistair, Siobhan brought up her need to go through the Joining. I'm not asking what's involved; I know that it's something the Warden's keep confidential, but I would be lying if I said I wasn't worried."

Alistair sipped his ale and regarded Gareth for a moment. What do I tell him? Do I tell him that I don't want her to take the Joining, ever?

Running his hands through his hair. "About that. I would like to delay Siobhan's Joining."

Gareth looked surprised. "Have you mentioned that to Siobhan?"

Alistair nodded. "Honestly, I wasn't going to tell her, I was just going to do it."

Gareth laughed. "You have met my wife?"

Alistair chuckled. "Yes, that is the tricky part."

Gareth's smiled faded as his brows knit together. "Is the Joining dangerous?"

At that moment, Alistair hated the secrecy of the Wardens. He was silent for a long while, trying to find a way to answer his question without divulging any more secrets. Looking at Gareth. "All I can say is that Wardens fight the blight using any means necessary. I need to make sure nothing can interfere with Siobhan's ability to gather the forces we need to defeat the Archdemon."

Alistair watched Gareth's reaction. He looked Alistair in the eye and knew that the young Warden had answered his question.

The men fell into more casual conversation over another ale. Then Alistair asked the question Gareth had been waiting for.

"Gareth, what was Cailan like?"


Siobhan was laying down on the bed resting. The talk with Fergus took its toll, but in many ways she felt much better, like a weight had come off her shoulders. She hadn't realized how much she kept locked inside. Sharing with Gareth helped, but it wasn't until she spoke with Fergus, that the damn of pain and guilt opened. She was glad for it.

There was a soft knock at the door.

"Come in."

Udell and Wynne came into the room.

Siobhan and Udell hugged. Looking at him, her voice filled with emotion. "There are no words to express how grateful I am to you for all you've done for my family and for the Wardens. "

Udell smiled. "Those will do just fine. Besides, we benefited from having Gareth and Fergus with us."

"Then, I'm happy that we could repay, in some small measure, the debt we owe you and your tribe."

Although Udell's skin was very tan, Siobhan could see a faint blush color his cheeks.

Siobhan looked at Wynne. "So, what brings you both here?"

"Udell and I have been talking about your desire to be up and about so you can travel to Orzamar. As I said before, I can really only heal your body. However, Udell, tells me that he can help your…how did you put it, Udell?"

"I can rejuvenate your body's energy paths, and bring your emotional state in line with your healed body."

"So, I will be like I was before I had Bryce?"

Wynne shook her head, "There are permanent, subtle changes to a woman after giving birth, they don't interfere with anything, but it makes having a second child easier."

"Will I still be able to breast feed?"

Udell nodded. "For a while, but that will end sooner than normal."

Siobhan's eyebrows knit. "How long will this healing take?"

"The healing I give you" Wynne began, "will take a couple of hours."

"My healing will take part of an afternoon, but I need tomorrow to prepare."

Siobhan nodded. "With all the chaos today I haven't had a chance to talk to the rest of our group. Hopefully, I can do that tomorrow while you both prepare."

Udell and Wynne nodded.

Siobhan sat back down on her bed. "You don't know what it means to be finally be able to meet with Dwarves. This is our last treaty and I hope they will honor it without issue. Once we have secured their assistance, then we can settle this void-bound civil war, and be ready to meet the horde and end this blight."

Udell arched an eyebrow. "Have you spoken with Alistair?"

"No, there hasn't been time. I plan on speaking with him either after dinner or in the morning. Why do you ask?"

Udell shook his head. "No reason, other than to know if you have strategized the upcoming confrontations."

Siobhan took Udell's words at face value, but she knew there was more to his question than simple curiosity.

Wynne motioned to the door. "Why don't we go downstairs and get ready for supper?"

"You and Udell head down; I will be down you shortly."


"What was Cailan like?" Gareth sat back and thought a moment. "First, let me tell you what his wasn't like. He was not the jaunty, over-confident Cailan you saw at Ostagar; that was a mask, the public persona. Cailan did not have a wandering eye, and he did not sow his royal oats while married to Anora. He also was not a figurehead."

Gareth took another swig of his ale, finding it difficult to talk about this.

"Gareth, if this is too much for you to talk about…"

"No. You should know about your brother, who he was and why. He was first and foremost, a loyal friend and husband. He cared deeply about preserving his father's legacy. Sure, in the beginning of our friendship, I spent a lot of time getting him out of trouble. He was prone to flights of fancy, and knights of old were his passion. But, contrary to my father's opinion, he grew out if that. When he became King, he knew Ferelden was mourning the loss of his father, as was he. Anora was a good match because she understood politics better than Cailan, and Anora did have a lot of influence on Cailan's early actions as king. But that changed."

Alistair saw Gareth's empty mug and signaled a servant for another round. "Changed how?"

Gareth ran his hand through his hair, blowing out a breath, his eyes suddenly far away. Then he leaned forward on the table, closer to Alistair. "About three years into his rein, around the time I met Siobhan, Cailan felt that my father wanted him to be more like Maric, and was angry that he wasn't; Anora began to see herself as the true power behind the throne. Cailan started to spend more time talking to Eamon and Bryce, Bryce especially; they began to mentor him on politics and statesmanship. They talked about the need for trade and stability with Orlais. He had these meetings in secret because of my father's attitude towards anything having to do with Orlais."

Alistair could hear the anger in Gareth's voice whenever he mentioned his father.

"Granted, my father has good reason to hate Orlais, but his anger created a blind spot. There is no grey area for my father. Things are either black or white. For him everything is an Orlesian plot and anyone in contact with Orlesian is somehow plotting against Ferelden. That included the Grey Wardens."

The servants brought another round of ale.

"My father was very angry, and worried that Eamon would manipulate Cailan into putting my sister aside so he could remarry and produce an heir; more importantly he believed that Cailan was going to marry Celene and essentially hand Ferelden back to Orlais."

"Would Cailan have done that? I know Eamon has an obsession with having heirs of Theirin bloodline." Gareth noticed the bitterness in Alistair's voice.

"Cailan would have killed himself rather than put Anora aside, much less even consider marrying Celene. He still continued to be mentored by Bryce, although he became weary of Eamon. That was one of the reasons he was reluctant to have Eamon's forces join in the battle at Ostagar."

Alistair arched an eyebrow. "What was the other reason?"

"If all went badly at Ostagar, Cailan didn't want to leave Ferelden without some kind of army. Good strategic thinking for a man who was supposed to have his head in the clouds." The sarcasm was clear.

"According to Cailan, Bryce and Eamon had been working with like-minded Orlesian nobles and had finally arranged an audience with Celene. Cailan felt, as King of Ferelden, that he needed to be there. Cailan told me that he had left a note for Anora; she did not share it with her father. Something happened when Cailan came home from Orlais. He wouldn't tell me what, but his attitude towards Anora changed. He was no longer the love-struck young man. Then came the news from Duncan and you know the rest of that story."

Gareth took a long pull from his mug. His eyes started to redden, as tears formed. "Cailan knew about you, Alistair. If he had survived Ostagar, he would have liked to get to know you better. He was the best friend I have ever had. As Maric's squire and through Cailan's friendship, I felt more a part of their family than I did my own." Tears started to stream down his face. "I wish more than anything that you could have known him like I did."


Dinner was a jovial affair, with everyone present; there was much banter, tales, and laughter. After dinner, Alistair reluctantly pulled aside a tired Siobhan; she was holding a hungry Bryce.

"I hate to do this; I know how tired you are. But Morrigan and I need to talk to you, and it really can't wait."

Siobhan heard the urgency in Alistair's voice. "Of course. Let me feed Bryce and put him to bed. Find a place where we can talk."

Morrigan, Alistair, and Siobhan settled into Teagan's study.

Siobhan looked around, and sighed. "Unfortunately, I think I will always associate this room with unpleasant news and discussions. Before we start, I would like to infuse this room with some good news. Alistair, Eamon is not going to put you forward as king."

Alistair felt a weight come off his shoulders as he smiled. "Really?"

"Really, and we are still on speaking terms with him, too."

"I don't want to know what it took, but thank you."

"You do realize that this is not a typical reaction one finds in heirs?" Siobhan smiled.

Alistair basked in his happiness for few moments. Then Morrigan cleared her throat.

At the sound of Morrigan's voice, anger came flooding back into Alistair."I don't know how to start. I spoke to Udell at some length when we were in Ostagar. It turns out his father was a Grey Warden."

Siobhan was stunned. "Really? How could that be?"

Morrigan waved her hand dismissively. "'Tis a tale for another time."

Alistair nodded in reluctant agreement with the witch. "The point of this is that he knows about the taint, the joining, and about Archdemons, most especially why Grey Wardens are the ones that must slay them."

Siobhan's eyes flicked over to Morrigan, then back to Alistair.

Alistair understood. "Morrigan already knows of all this as well, she learned it from Flemeth."

Siobhan arched an eyebrow at Morrigan. "I take it this was the information you did not trust me enough to share?"

Morrigan nodded. "I was going to tell you when we came back from Ostagar. However, the half-wit templar found out and has already passed judgment on me."

Alistair practically growled. "Too little, too late."

Siobhan held up her hand, command in her voice. "I understand that whatever this information is, it is critical, however, if neither of you will behave like adults, then the meeting ends, now! Alistair, as my Second, you especially need to set an example. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes, Commander. Forgive me."

Morrigan lowered her eyes. "I too apologize."

Siobhan nodded. "Then let us continue. Alistair?"

"Udell told me that when an Archdemon is slain, its soul, or essence, is not destroyed, but travels to the closest tainted being. Darkspawn are soulless and can easily serve as a host for the Archdemon's soul, corrupting it once again making the Archdemon essentially immortal."

Siobhan sat back. "But Grey Wardens are not soulless."

Alistair nodded. "When a Grey Warden slays the Archdemon…"

Siobhan felt the fear and hysteria just below the surface as she realized the full impact of what Alistair was saying, pushing it down, she spoke softly and calmly, "Then the Grey Warden dies along with the spirit of the Archdemon."

Alistair simply nodded.

Siobhan collected her thoughts. Looking a Morrigan. "What role are you to play in this, Morrigan?"

"Mother also knows how an Archdemon is killed. She sent me along to so that I could perform a ritual that would allow the Grey Warden who slays the Archdemon to survive."

Alistair looked wary, "What kind of ritual?"

"On the eve of battle, I need lay with a male Grey Warden, like Alistair, or anyone else who had recently joined. From this union will come a child. When the Archdemon is killed the newly forming child will be like a beacon and the Archdemon's soul will travel to the child. At such at early stage, the child can absorb the soul without danger."

"Lay with you, you mean have sex with you? This is a sex ritual?" Alistair's voice cracked has he sat in disbelief.

Morrigan turned and glared at Alistair "Udell's idea is too uncertain. I know this ritual will work. No one has to die."

Siobhan turned to Alistair. "What else did Udell tell you?"

"Udell took me on a journey to the realm of essence. To make a long story short, he said that once the Archdemon is killed, its soul would appear in that realm for a few brief moments. Udell believes that it can be captured there and destroyed."

Morrigan's tone filled with condescension. "What Alistair fails to realize, is that the timing is critical, 'twill only be in that realm for a brief period before it finds a new host, the Grey Warden or a Darkspawn."

Alistair looked a Morrigan, disgust in his eyes, "It's a better option than producing some kind of God-baby, swamp witch!"

Morrigan sighed.

"Enough! If you both insist on acting I like children, then I will treat you as such. Morrigan, please leave and go to your room. I will speak to Alistair. When I am done I will come and talk with you. Alistair, I suggest that after we talk, you go to your room and stay there. When this discussion is over, I don't want to see or hear either of you until tomorrow."

Morrigan nodded and left the room, a look of sorrow on her face.

Siobhan turned to Alistair. "Before you become a commander, you had better learn to control your temper. You don't have to like those under your command, but you must respect them."

Alistair nodded. "I know, she's just…"

"I don't care if she turns you into a frog. In order to command, there is a time and place for anger. If the person is being insubordinate to you, then you must mete out the appropriate punishment, firmly and without dramatics, just as you would anyone else under your command. Is that clear?"

Alistair nodded.

Siobhan raised an eyebrow.

"Yes, Commander."

Siobhan stood and placed a hand on Alistair's shoulder. "You will make a great commander, Alistair. You just need to learn to school your emotions better. Now, tell me about this realm of essence."

Alistair explained the 'trip' with Udell to this realm and what he saw. Siobhan listened quietly, her face showed nothing of the fear that continued to well-up inside her.

When Alistair was finished. Siobhan looked at him. "Who would need to travel to this realm, and how exactly would they capture and kill the Archdemon's soul?"

"Udell said it would take about three 'spirit travelers', as he calls them; Udell and two others. They would need to locate where the Archdemon is being fought, and be ready for the moment the Archdemon's soul is released from it's corrupted form. When it appears in the realm, they can contain the soul; Udell used the analogy of fishing nets. Once caught, the soul cannot leave the realm. The spirit travelers would then sever the soul's ties to the mortal world, the soul will simply start to disintegrate, until there is nothing left."

Siobhan's mind was a whirl. "So the only foolproof way to kill the Archdemon is for a Grey Warden to sacrifice their life?"

"Yes."

"We cannot risk the disposition of the Archdemon's soul, neither can we have only one Grey Warden fighting the Archdemon. I cannot recruit people simply to be fodder. I have to undertake the joining, Alistair, there needs to be at least two of us."

Fear coiled in Alistair. He knew with complete certainty that if Siobhan survived the Joining, she would make sure that she landed the killing blow. That cannot happen! Perhaps Morrigan's ritual…is a better idea.

It was almost as if Siobhan read his mind. "We cannot have a child with the soul of an Old God, loose in Thedas. When Morrigan first told me about Flemeth's plot to take over her body, she also mentioned that she did not know if Flemeth can truly die; even if I succeed in killing Flemeth, Morrigan could still be hunted by her. What if Flemeth is successful? Then Flemeth will raise Old God."

Siobhan stood up. "Thank you, Alistair. Would you please send Morrigan down?"

"I will. Good night, Commander."

"Good night, Alistair."

Alistair closed the door and Siobhan sat down, her body and mind completely numb.


AN: Thank you to Shakespira for her continued reviews and support and to xseikax for her wonderful review.

The biggest thanks goes to my patient and terrific beta, Nithu