52.

July 14, 2013

She wasn't coming with them to the airport. Elliot understood and fortunately, Eli hadn't even thought about it. Olivia didn't want a heavy goodbye and after Elliot had put their luggage in the trunk of the cab, she just held them both close briefly before releasing them and letting them get in the cab. They had done enough kissing in the early morning hours to tide them over, Elliot had joked before they walked downstairs and Olivia had agreed. He promised to call her as soon as they got to Kathy's and as they drove off, Olivia managed to wave happily at Eli. She kept on waving until the cab was completely out of sight and then turned around to go inside. She sighed, not wanting to cry. Come on Benson, it's only three days, she told herself once again. She'd been alone a lot longer lots of times. When she walked back into the now empty apartment, she took another shaky breath. She could do this.

She hadn't had breakfast yet and tried to eat something but aside from a cup of coffee all she could manage was a dry cracker. It was going to be a very warm day and she couldn't help thinking what they would do if Eli and Elliot had been there. She wasn't going to go to the park alone, or to the swimming pool or a theme park. She didn't feel like going anywhere alone and shook her head at her own self-pity.

Her phone rang and she wondered who it could be. Was Elliot calling already to let her know where they were? They couldn't even be at the airport yet. She didn't recognize the number and answered with a neutral 'Hello?'.

"Olivia? Hi, it's Kathleen. Hope I didn't wake you?"

Olivia smiled and sat down on the couch.

"No, I've been up for quite a while, packing up Eli's stuff. They just left for the airport twenty minutes ago."

"Yeah, I know," Elliot's middle daughter replied. "That's kinda why I'm calling. We thought maybe you could use some company, so Liz and I wanted to take you out to lunch. Unless you have plans already of course."

Olivia was moved by the girls' thoughtfulness and happily agreed to meet them for lunch. After setting a time and place, they ended the call. Olivia smiled again and jumped up. Now that she had an appointment, something to look forward to, she actually felt energized and decided to go out for her morning run. She could do that much on her own.

...

Eli had been bouncing up and down for a while now. He was very excited to go on a plane again and had decided he wanted to be a pilot when he grew up. At least the travelling didn't bother his boy, Elliot thought. That would come in quite handy now that his parents were living so far apart. They had arrived with time to spare and had been waiting at the airport for a while now for the announcer to tell them boarding was starting. Eli was already reading a bit and was keeping an eye on the departure boards, telling him which other flights were now boarding and which gates had already closed. Elliot just nodded as his thoughts drifted to Olivia. He knew she'd be fine. She had always been perfectly capable of taking care of herself. He was glad she was living at his place now and not at the hotel anymore. It was comforting to know she was home, where she belonged. He wanted to call her but decided not to. Come on Stabler, it's only three days, he told himself once again.

Olivia wasn't the only one processing things in dreams. He'd had a few dreams himself that had been difficult to shake off. Most of them involved Olivia's eyes, hands and mouth and her warm, soft curves. He took a deep breath as he remembered last night's dream. He shouldn't dwell on it, especially in public, or he might embarrass himself. Still, the thoughts of how their massage could have had a different outcome wouldn't leave him completely.

Her top had slipped down as he had massaged her back and when she turned on her back and he saw her beautiful breasts, her nipples swollen in anticipation of what was to come, he just had to taste them. She didn't stop him and he moaned loudly as his mouth closed over her left breast and his tongue swirled around her peaked nipple. He had pinned her hands above her head and her fingers intertwined with his as her back arched off the bed. She was panting, her eyes squeezed shut and he licked his way to her other nipple. In his dreams, there were no scars and as he released her hands to tug her top down further, Olivia just whispered a soft 'yes', followed by a throaty sound that went straight to his groin. His hands moved down to her hips as he devoured her breasts. Olivia's hands were on his bare back and she was panting his name. He moved to the side so he could move one hand further down her body and when he stroked the inside of her thigh her hips bucked up while her hands moved to his chest and down his body to find their way inside his sweatpants. By now, he had a raging hard-on and he couldn't wait to feel her hands on him. His mouth found hers at the same time his hand connected with her hot center over her legging and she moaned into his mouth again. It was all he had ever wanted and more, and she was giving back as much as he was giving her. Her hand was now inside his sweatpants and moving over his boxer briefs towards his throbbing manhood. She bucked up again as he rubbed her and ...

"Daddy, it says boarding! It says boarding!"

Elliot was on his feet before he realized what was going on.

"What Eli? You startled me," he said quickly, while grabbing the newspaper he'd bought earlier to cover the bulge in his pants. He really shouldn't be daydreaming in public, and definitely not in the presence of his son.

"Sorry daddy but we gotta go," his son said, grabbing his backpack with one hand and Elliot's hand with the other.

Elliot took another deep breath and breathed out slowly as they started walking towards the gate. This was going to be a long trip. A very long trip.

...

After her run, Olivia took a hot shower and made herself one of Elliot's famous fruit shakes to tide her over until lunch with the girls. She had decided to wear her white Lara Croft dress and sandals again, since it was such a warm day, and she thought she looked nice enough. The restaurant was too far away to walk in sandals so she took a cab. The girls were already there and Kathleen jumped up and waved at her as soon as she entered the restaurant. Olivia smiled and walked over to the Stabler sisters.

"Wow Olivia, you look amazing," Kathleen said, looking her over and Olivia smiled shyly.

"Thank you honey. You look very summery yourself."

Kathleen grinned at her comment, knowing her very short shorts might be a bit much.

"Well, it is summer, isn't it?"

Liz had also stood up and greeted Olivia. She was a much quieter girl and Olivia didn't know her as well as she knew Maureen and Kathleen.

"You look very summery too, Elizabeth," she told the youngest Stabler girl, who was wearing a nice yellow summer dress with a print of tiny green leaves on it. Her yellow high-heeled sandals made her look quite the lady next to her older sister, who was wearing short jeans, a simple pink t-shirt and white sneakers.

Liz thanked her politely and they all sat down. A waiter brought them menus and they all took their time reading the lunch section in silence. After they had ordered, Olivia asked the girls how they were doing in school and they chatted for a while. Kathleen asked how Olivia was doing and about her therapy. Olivia didn't mind at all that she was asking her personal questions. She didn't go into the details of what had happened to her but both girls seemed to understand that it would take a lot of time to get over something as traumatic as being abducted by a rapist.

"I'm glad my dad is here to help you Olivia," Kathleen said honestly. "I know he has his faults but he really is a great guy."

Olivia nodded and smiled. Kathleen and Elliot had butted heads many times in the past. They were both stubborn and both had a temper, but deep down they were also crazy about each other.

Liz had been rather quiet during lunch, which wasn't surprising because she had always been the quietest of the family. She had been listening to the exchange between her sister and Olivia and Olivia noticed that she wanted to ask her something too, so she looked at her encouragingly. Liz seemed a little taken aback when the attention suddenly shifted to her, because Kathleen was now looking at her as well.

"Wanna chip in as well, sis?" Kathleen asked her rather bluntly, and Olivia almost felt bad for Liz.

Liz smiled shyly and looked from Olivia to her sister and back.

"I do have a question, actually," she admitted, setting down her fork and putting her hands in her lap.

"And what is that, Elizabeth?" Olivia asked her kindly.

"Yeah, out with it," Kathleen chimed in again, in her own never even remotely subtle way.

"I just ... I was just wondering."

"Wondering what, honey?" Olivia tried again.

"Are you in love with our father?"

Liz kept her eyes on her plate after blurting out the question, and Olivia breathed out slowly through pursed lips. She glanced at Kathleen, who was clearly amused and made a 'duh' gesture with her hands and face. It helped Olivia relax a little but she wasn't sure if Liz would be as okay with things as Kathleen obviously was. But she had no choice but to be honest with her.

"Yes, I am, Elizabeth. Very much so."

It felt strange but good to say it out loud.

"So you're ehm ..."

Liz hesitated again and Kathleen decided to finish the question for her sister.

"So you're sleeping with him? That's what you want to know, right sis?"

Liz was looking anywhere except at Olivia, who felt a blush coming up. Was it normal for kids to ask these things? She had no idea but the question deserved an answer either way.

"No, I'm not," Olivia said, trying to sound a lot more confident than she was feeling. "We're not there yet."

"Oh my God," Kathleen sighed. "Fifteen years and you're still not there yet? I don't believe it."

Olivia couldn't help smiling slightly at Kathleen's honest little outburst.

"Well, it's true. Besides, your dad is still officially married so maybe it's better that we decided to wait."

Liz nodded, and finally looked up at Olivia again.

"I'm sorry Olivia, I don't mean to pry. I just ... I hope you and dad will make it work. I couldn't take it if we had to get used to new people all the time."

Olivia realized that the girl really didn't have a problem with her being in her father's life and she felt greatly relieved. She hadn't known it mattered that much to her what his children would think of her but the truth was, it did. She put a hand on Liz's arm and smiled at her.

"I don't plan on letting him get away, Elizabeth."

"And dad won't let Olivia get away either," Kathleen added.

"Okay then. Thank you," Liz said, looking into the eyes of the older woman. "And you can call me Liz. Everyone does."

...

Eli had finally dozed off on the plane and Elliot decided to try and take a nap as well. They would be underway most of the day so they'd better get comfortable. He just hoped he wouldn't have another steamy dream about Olivia, and put a magazine in his lap just in case. He grinned at himself and shook his head. How old are you, he asked himself. Seventeen?

He thought back to the time when he was seventeen. Sex had been a totally new adventure then but before he could even decide what he was looking for in a woman, he'd gotten Kathy pregnant. All he'd known was, he wanted a woman who was focused and practical, not all over the place like his mother. Kathy had at least fitted that bill and being with her had been satisfactory. But he couldn't deny that Olivia had awakened feelings deep inside him that were completely different. He had never had time to experiment or to wonder if Kathy was the woman he wanted to do that with. Now he knew, and it wasn't Kathy. It was Olivia. He would always stand up to protect Kathy and his children but he couldn't picture his life without Olivia in it anymore. He felt blessed that Kathy was so relaxed about the changes that were taking place in their lives. He glanced at the sleeping boy next to him. He was their little miracle and whatever they decided should be about him. But his heart belonged to the woman he had just left behind in New York. It had for a long time and he was finally able and allowed to admit it.

...

Santa Cruz, CA

Coming back to the house in Santa Cruz was strange in a way. It had been his home for a while but it didn't feel like that at all anymore. It was Kathy's home. She was thriving here. It was a lot cooler there now than in New York but overall, the climate was good for her. She greeted him kindly after hugging Eli until he started squirming. He was tired but really wanted to see his friend Sam, so Kathy told him to run over quickly. Kathy looked good and Elliot wondered again if she was seeing someone. She told him she would be working an early shift the next morning so he and Eli would have the house to themselves. Elliot wanted to visit his old gym while he was there so he would do that in the morning. Kathy told him she'd managed to make an appointment with their attorney late Monday afternoon and he agreed to go with her so they could both go over the divorce papers together, and sign them right away if everything was in order.

Elliot called Olivia to let her know they'd arrived safely and was happy to hear that his daughters had taken her out to lunch. She sounded okay and he was glad she hadn't been holed up in the apartment all day. Kathy was making coffee so they didn't talk for long. He had coffee with his soon-to-be ex wife and he told her about Kathleen and Liz taking Olivia out to lunch. Kathy agreed that it was nice of them. He wanted to ask her about her own personal life but he wasn't sure if it was his place to ask. Kathy was quiet too as if there was something on her mind and while they were sitting only a few feet away from each other, he could feel the distance between them. Finally he asked her,

"Kathy, are you doing alright?"

She leaned back in her chair and smiled without looking at him.

"Yes Elliot, I'm doing alright. I did miss Eli this past week, but I love my life here. Please, don't worry about me."

"Anything else I need to know?"

He wasn't sure how he'd managed to get the words out, but he was glad he'd asked her. And he could tell she knew exactly what he was asking her.

"I should have known," she said softly. "Nothing gets by detective Stabler."

Elliot stood up, and walked over to the window to see if Eli was coming back yet while he waited for Kathy to continue.

"You remember Jake Bronson right? You met him once at a party."

Elliot turned around, slightly shocked and looked at her. Jake Bronson was old enough to be her father.

Kathy chuckled when she noticed the expression on his face, and got up as well to stand next to him.

"His daughter was in an accident last year and ended up in a coma. She was transferred to our hospital a few months ago and that's when I met her husband."

"Her husband?"

She was seeing Jake Bronson's son-in-law?

"Yeah. We talked a lot whenever he visited her. He had to make a decision to end her treatment and it was really hard on him. When his wife passed away last May we stayed in touch and ... well ... we found out we really care about each other."

"So he's the guy who flew out to New York on the fourth?"

"Yeah."

Her smile lit up her face and her eyes softened when she thought of him, the new man in her life. Elliot couldn't remember the last time she had looked at him like that. He felt a twinge of jealousy but told himself to be happy for her. If anyone had a right to be jealous it was her, not him. He'd been in love with another woman for years, even if he hadn't admitted it. He should be happy that Kathy was finding happiness of her own at last.

"Sounds serious then," he managed to say.

Kathy just nodded and they both turned around when they heard Eli bolting into the room with his best friend Sam.

"See. I told you my daddy is here!" Eli shouted.

"Hi Mr. Stabler," Sam said politely. "Hi Mrs. Stabler."

Before they could respond, both boys were running up the stairs to Eli's room and the parents looked at each other, each trying to read what the other one was feeling. They were still Mr. and Mrs. Stabler but they wouldn't be for long. They were moving on.

...

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