Chapter 53: "I Ain't Leavin..."


"Let me down Merle! Yer gonna need both yer hands and I needa find a weapon to use. We're gonna have to walk. We can't get to my car right now, we can come back for it" I said looking up at the worn face of Merle Dixon.

"A'right Girly, are ya sure ya can make it? I ain't losing ya out there. My baby brother would kill me if I let anythin happen to ya" he said looking at me for a second and I could see the reluctance in his eyes.

He set me down on the porch when I didn't answer him, I looked around to see if there was a shovel or even a stick laying around anywhere that I could use.

"Fuck, there isn't even a pointy stick anywhere around this house! Lets jus go, how many bullets do ya got left?" I asked, eyeing the horde of walkers that were getting way too close to the house for my liking.

"Fully loaded, Girl. Which way we headin?" Merle said after checking his glock 17.

"We needa hurry, everyone prolly headed to the highway where we lost….we should try get there as fast as we can." I said not able to make myself say the little girl's name again.

I sucked in a breath and tried to prepare myself for the long journey ahead, my leg would surely be killing me by the time we even got off the farm.

I hopped down the porch steps and Merle fallowed behind me, waiting til we were down on the grass til he moved so I was behind him and he raised his gun. Ready to shoot any of the dead sum'bitches that got too close.

"Stay right behind me Girly, you n me, we're getting outa here"


Daryl POV

"I ain't leaving here without em! No way in hell, ya all waited for yer family, I ain't leavin til they get here" I shouted pacing back and forth on that damned highway.

It was morning now and Merle and Samara still hadn't showed up, it'd only been about 20 minutes since everyone else had all met here. Rick was already saying we had to move out.

He pulled me over to the side away from the others, he was gonna try convince me to leave… I jus knew it, I couldn't leave them though.

"Daryl, I need you to calm down. I need you here with me, we need you" Rick said his voice urgent and there was a slightly haunted look in his eye.

I clenched my jaw and looked down the road once again, they had to be coming any minute now. Merle had promised me he'd get her out safely, that he'd bring her back to me alive.

He promised….and I cursed myself for thinking he'd actually keep his promise, it wasn't like he had a very good track record.

I shook my head no to answer Rick, I knew they kinda needed me now. Especially since none of them can hunt and they probably don't have enough food to feed them all.

"I ain't leavin them" I said again, trying to keep my voice strong.

I jus kept thinkin that there was a possibility that they weren't comin, they could both be dead, ripped apart by those evil dead bastards, and I didn't do a damned thing to stop it.

"How bout ya guy's head out, n I'll go back a bit to see if I can see any signs of where they are. I won't go too far…chances are the farms still not clear. N I can catch up to ya later" I said, lying a bit bout how far I was goin.

I jus hoped he couldn't see through me, I planned on goin right to the farm to see if her car was still there or not.

If they were dead…I wasn't gonna leave them to rot on the ground, no, I had to bury them if they were dead. I promised her I wouldn't let her turn, she was so insistent about it, she didn't let it go until I agreed to it.

"No, we have to stay together. We can't risk losing you Daryl, we'll take our time…maybe, and maybe they'll catch up to us somewhere down the road" Rick said, putting his hand on my shoulder again.

Shane didn't come back with him, so I was assuming he was dead. Rick had been slowly replacing Shane with me for a while now…I still wasn't sure if I was ready for it though. To be his right hand man.

If anything happened to Rick I'd have to take over, lord knows Glenn wasn't quite ready for it. He was a fast thinker alright, but being the leader has more to do then that.

I wanted to nod my head, and just agree with him, but my body wouldn't fallow through with it. I couldn't leave them….it was almost physically impossible. I don't think I could say it out loud but I loved those two more than anything.

Of course I loved Merle, he's my brother, the only one I've known my whole life. Now that girl was somethin different…I'd never felt what I feel for her before in my life.

I literally had this pinching feeling in my heart at the mere thought of leavin her.

"I ain't leavin her, don' ask me to" I said lookin him right in the eye, he had to see that I couldn't go with them without her.

"Look, I know exactly how yer feelin'. I lost my family before… and I had no idea if Lori was gonna make it off the farm too, but I was ready to leave with just Carl if I had to" he said, the tone in his voice told me he was telling the truth.

But from what I seen from the last few days was that their marriage wasn't exactly stable. I didn't give two fucks about their relationship right now though, they had each other here.

"Ya know what! I don't give a damn! Yer family is all here, ya don't have to leave without either of em. Don't even try say ya know what I'm feelin right now! Ya don't know me" I couldn't hold my anger anymore, I got right up in the guy's face and yelled at him.

I saw his jaw clench and I looked around him to see everyone was looking at us.

"To hell with ya'll, I'm goin back for them" I said and I inwardly cursed at the way my voice cracked slightly.

I turned and offhandedly wiped at the tear that managed to slip out. I had to be angry…I couldn't allow myself to cry for them.

They were still alive. They had to be.

I was half way back to Merle's bike when Rick run in front of me and stopped me in my tracks. I only paused for a second before I just went around him.

"Daryl, you're not going by yourself" Rick said his voice more demanding now.

He was only holding on by a thin thread, it wasn't hard to see. Our leader was slipping already and we haven't even been out on the road again for very long.

I stopped walking when I got to the bike, but I didn't make to get on it. I kept my back to the group.

"who the hells gonna come with me then" I said just catching the fact that he said I wasn't going by myself…not that I wasn't going period.

"We have to make a plan, we can't afford to lose any more people. We need time to figure out what we're goin to do. Now I'll help ya find them, but ya gotta keep a level head…can ya do that?" Rick walked to my side while he was talking.

I looked at him, barely turning my head to do so, I thought about what he said for a second….did I really need him to help me? It wouldn't be wise to go off by myself… I knew that, but I couldn't just leave em.

They could be holed up somewhere with geeks trying to break down the door as we speak.

"Yeah, I can do that… I guess. But I ain't waitin forever, if there ain't a plan in the next hour I'm goin to find them myself" I glared at him through the corner of my eye while I spoke.


(SPOV)

"Agh, Merle stop! I can't go any further" I said leaning against a tree, we had gotten off the farm. We couldn't stay on the road though cause those mother fucking dead freaks where fallowing us.

It took us over an hour to lose them, now we were just walking. I still only had on my shorts but thankfully Merle had let me wear his black button up shirt over my tank top. It had gotten kinda cold over night while we were walking, I literally thanked God that I had shoved my feet in my boots before I left.

I wanted to go back and get my car now….but chances were the farm was still a red zone.

"Can't stop here Girly, those geeks are gonna be catchin up to us soon. Want me to carry ya again?" Merle came over to me, surprisingly he'd been pretty well behaved so far.

He'd been quiet, even when he carried me a few miles back.

We had to practically run off the farm, so I hadn't been able to go much further than a mile or two past the fences. Merle graciously carried me until I made him put me down again.

"Naw, Merle we needa stop. It's morning now, we haven't had any sleep…not that we can really do that out here. But we should at least rest." I answered him before I slid down the tree to sit on the forest floor.

He sighed but he leant against the tree across from me anyways, I was glad he hasn't really fought me over any decision so far.

"We should try circle around, see if we can get back to my car. It's all ready n waitin ther… we jus needa get in without getting ripped apart" I said completely exhausted now.

I had no idea how close we were to the highway, we probably weren't even half way there yet. I was slowing us down with my injury and I hated myself for it.

But I made a point not to complain about all the pain I was in though, I wouldn't dare say a word about how it felt like my leg was gonna friggin fall off any minute now.

"It'll be easier to jus keep goin, git a car on the highway….we can drive back for yers. Still got all the supplies in it Girl?" he asked keeping his eyes on our surroundings, it would suck if those walkers caught up to us again.

I could see we were both tired of walking now, we needed to rest for a while longer.

"Yea, 'nough to last us a couple weeks" I said taking in our surroundings as well. We were quite a ways in the forest now, I hoped Merle still knew what direction the road was in.

We had to take a few unscheduled turns when we ran into groups of walkers, and I had been too focused on just trying to keep moving. So I was fallowing Merle blindly through the woods right now, I prayed he at least had an inkling of where we were.

"Should check yer bandage, make sure everythin is holdin together. Can't have ya dyin of blood loss or infection, that'd be a way ta die in this hell hole" he said chuckling at the last part.

"Shut up Merle, that could actually happen ya know. Jus think how many people died of infection before they invented antibiotics" I glared at him, though I knew he meant no harm in what he said…he was jus tryin to lighten the mood.

I was tired and weak right now though, I acted out in anger cause I couldn't allow myself to be weak.

"Holah, Girly, simmer down. Was jus tryin to lighten the mood, jus me and you for a while. May be a while till we find everyone else" he said rubbing the back of his neck.

The action made me think of Daryl, I closed my eyes tight and tried to will away the image of the younger Dixon.

We had only been officially together for about a week….and now we were separated by that stupid herd of walkers. I missed him so much it was actually hurting me to think I may never see him again.

"We're gonna find him, I know my lil brother…he's gonna be lookin for us too" Merle's voice broke through my thoughts and I opened my eyes to see him lookin over at me.

I nodded, thankful I at least had him with me.

I still had Merle, and we were going to find Daryl…no matter what, we would find him.


hey folks, hope u liked that chapter...and I hope u guys don't mind the direction this is headin in, I promise they will meet up with Daryl again tho!

there's jus no wayyy I could ever separate Daryl n Samara for Too long :) anyways, I think Merle deserves some time to shine for a while also.

I had the BEST weekend ever, got to spend time with my awesome family, watched the Walking Dead season 4 premier with my big bro! n it was my lil bro's 5th b-day today as wellll

hope everyone had an awesome Thanksgiving! those who celebrated it today 3