Dean-
I woke up. The room was dark, the only the light from the tv made the room glow. I could see the sun wanting past the black out curtains in the room. I tried to swollow, but my throat was dry and it hurt, I coughed.
"What do you need Jon?", I knew that sweet voice.
"Water", I said, my voice scratchy.
I felt the bed move and then it moved again. A small hand on my cheek.
"Can you sit up?", she asked.
I nodded and sat up. She put the bottle to my lips and I wrapped my hand around the bottle and her hand. I wiped my eyes and saw Lexi, I drank the whole bottle.
"Do you need something for your head?", she asked.
I shook my head. Seeing her you could have sworn I hadn't seen her in years.
"How are you feeling?", she asked.
"Better now that you're here", I said softly.
"Do you remember anything?", she asked.
"Bits and pieces", I said.
"Even your ex?", she asked.
I looked at her, small flashbacks of me leaving Helena naked on a bed. Ray coming in and telling me to hit it.
"I know that I didn't do anything. I was about too, but I couldn't", I said.
"Doesn't change the fact that you almost did", she was angry now.
"I know you're mad", she stopped me.
"You think? You tell me I should have opened up to you about Ethan, but you couldn't come to me to talk to me about your mom", she said.
"I know", I said.
"You're are such an asshole. You do this, you let her touch you. She is lucky I didn't rip her hair out", she said.
I tried to reach for her, she shoved me away.
"Alex", I said.
"No you don't get to touch me. I'm so pissed at you", she said.
I shut my eyes.
"You're lucky I love you so much Jon, if I didn't I would walk away right now", she said.
"You gonna throw divorce in my face again?", I asked a little hurt.
"Why are you doing this? Why are you acting like this? If you want to fuck someone else let me know and yeah I'll give you the damn divorce, it will break my heart but I will do it", she said.
I could swollow now, but my throat was still a little dry. She handed me another water bottle.
"I don't want that", I said my voice low.
I took a sip and then looked at the bottle.
"Is this about your mom?", she asked.
I didn't answer and she didn't push it. She rested her chin on my shoulder.
"You have a hickey", she said softly.
"What?", I asked.
I jumped out of bed to see, but I felt this weird feeling in my stomach. I ran to the bathroom, my whole head practically in the toilet bowl. Emptying everything I had in my stomach out. I heard the water turn on and then a hand softly rubbing my back.
"Have you eaten anything at all?", she asked.
I shook my head no.
"Jonathan", she said disappointed.
"Does alcohol count? Wait I had some nachos", I said, leaning back against the cold tub.
"That doesn't count. You really scared me you know, I couldn't get a hold of you and I didn't know where you were or if you were ok or hurt some where", she said.
She sat down beside me, puting a wet towel to my forehead.
"I wanted to call but Ray took my phone", I said.
"I heard, strip club", she said.
"I don't know why I agreed to go. I didn't get a lap dance, I stayed far away from those women", I said.
"Heard that too", she said.
"All I could think was, what if that was Gracie or Amelia. All those mens eyes on them and their hands all over them. No, absolutely not. Not my girls", I said.
She smiled.
"You slept all day", she said.
"Shit", I sighed.
"Everyone is here, they came to support you", she said.
"Why? I'm fine, I'm good now", I said.
"They love you Jon. I love you and we just don't understand how you could do this. Why you would do this", she said.
I licked my dry lips.
"Talk to me. I know you're hurting but you don't want to let anyone see, you don't always have to be the strong one", she said.
"Yes I do. I need to not only protect my family but I need to be the strong one. I am the man and I can't let people think I'm weak", I said.
"No one thinks that Jon", she said.
I couldn't control it anymore, I let a tear slip.
"I guess, I guess with everything that has happened. Penny, Ethan, my mom. It was too much too soon", I said.
"I know and I can't believe how stupid I've been. I pushed you away when you needed someone the most. You have been there and put up with so much from me and I couldn't do the same", she said.
"We're just so use to not leting anyone in and the second we do, we don't know how to care for them", I said.
She nodded.
"We can't live like that anymore and we can't push each other away when we need each other the most", she said.
I looked at her and took her hand in mine.
"You're right", I said.
"So then what do we do and don't say divorce", she said chuckling.
I shook my head and cupped her face, she leaned in and kissed me.
"I probably taste like throw up", I said.
"You do but I don't care", she said.
"I'm so glad you're here", I said.
"Promise me you won't do this again", she said.
"I promise", I said.
"Why is it so hard to stay mad at you Jon", she said.
"Because you love me", I said.
She smiled and stood. I stood up too and I had to take a deep breath to stop myself from feeling sick. She walked me over to the bed and I laid down.
"I'm gonna bring you something to eat", she said.
I nodded and she kissed my forehead.
"Can you bring me more water darlin?", I asked.
She nodded.
Lexi-
I closed the bedroom door behind me. Brie was feeding the girls.
"Hey, how is he?", she asked.
"Better than before", I said, grabbing more water bottles.
"Heard some yelling", she said.
Nikki came into the living room with Jordan, who was smiling.
"Look at you, you're so big now little man", I said.
"Maybe you could take him to see his uncle Jon", Nikki said.
"I think he would like that, come on Jordan", I said, taking him from Nikki.
"Seth and Roman went to drop off Randy", Riley said.
I nodded. Taking the new bottles of water and Jordan to Dean. As soon as I walked in, Dean sat up.
"Hey Jordan", Dean said.
I handed him the baby.
"Damn you look like your father dude", Dean said to him.
Jordan giggled.
"Except for the hair", I said, setting the bottles down on the bedside table.
"Make sure you tell Nikki not to let Seth near his hair", he said.
Dean was tickling Jordan and telling him about how he met Seth.
"How about you tell him how I won my briefcase", Seth said from the door.
Dean covered Jordan's ears.
"You really want me to tell your son about how you cheated", Dean said.
"I still won it", Seth said.
"And I still stole it. I'll even show you how to mess with your dad and put slime bombs all around your house", Dean said to Jordan, who smiled.
"Hey none of that now", Seth said.
"Come on dude, I'm cool uncle Jon", Jon said.
"What about Roman?", I asked.
"Uncle Joe is the one you can go to when you need advice because your father is an idiot", he said to Jordan.
Seth and I laughed.
"We missed you Ambrose", Seth said.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to worry anyone", Jon said.
"Hey, we all have our moments, next time call or something", Colby said.
"I will", he said.
"Hey, he's up", Roman said, popping his head in.
Dean chuckled.
"Breakfast is ready when you are", he said.
"Good because I'm hungry", Dean said, lifting Jordan.
"Remind me to kick your ass for giving us all a damn heart attack. Don't ever disappear on us again", Roman said to Dean.
"I know", Dean said.
Roman stood in front of him, arms crossed over his chest.
"I'm serious brother. If you needed someone to talk to, you should have come to me. I came here determined to kick your ass", he said.
"I'm sorry, I am and I know that you're here for me. Thank you for watching out for Lex, I owe you one Ro", Dean said.
Roman squeezed Dean's shoulder and nodded. Dean grabbed a bottle of water with one hand, while holding Jordan with the other.
"Come on bud, lets go eat", he said, following the guys out.
I followed. The guys were sitting around the table eating. Dean placed Jordan with Amelia in the playpen. Gracie was sitting on Seth's lap.
"What are you thinking?", Riley asked.
"How long should I wait till we try again", I said.
"Try? As in for a baby?", Riley asked.
I nodded.
"Seeing him with Jordan, I guess I was just wondering", I said.
"Its gonna be a year soon", Nikki said.
"I just don't want to feel like I'm replacing Ethan", I said.
"You're not", Brie said.
"How do I know if I'm ready or if I will ever be ready", I said.
"That we do not know", Riley said.
Dean kissed Gracie's forehead and smiled at her.
"Dean seems ready", Nikki said.
"I think I'm gonna wait. With everything we've been through in the last couple of months, we need a break. I don't want him to have to go through another disappointment so soon", I said.
"Good point, but you getting pregnant would make him happy again", Riley said.
Dean got up and went to pick Amelia up, he went out on the balcony with her. Kissing her cheek and brushing her blonde wavy hair out of her eyes. She giggled when they would move back into place in front of her eyes. Dean laughed.
I loved watching him with the girls, seeing how much he loved them and how much they loved him. They might not have been able to understand what was going on but Dean not being around as much as they're use to went noticed.
I joined him outside.
"Hey doll", he said.
I kissed his cheek.
"You ok?", I asked.
"Yeah, just missing my mom I guess", he said.
"Its ok to miss her", I said.
He nodded.
"Just not with alcohol or women, ok", I said.
"Promise", he said.
He leaned down.
"Can I have a kiss?", he asked.
"I don't know", I said.
He smirked and wrapped his free arm around my waist pulling me to him. I laughed, his lips pressed softly to mine. Amelia giggled.
"Roman said something about me getting make up sex", he whispered.
"Oh did he now", I said.
Dean licked his lips and nodded.
"I hope Riley knows Roman promised you sex", I said.
He smirked.
"I meant with you", he said.
"I know", I said.
"Its been a while darlin and I need you", he whispered.
"Baby I need you too", I said kissing him.
"You're lucky I'm holding our daughter", he said, biting my bottom lip and giving it a small tug.
"I love you", I said.
"Always?", he asked.
I nodded.
"I love you too", he said.
"So", I started.
He placed a finger under my chin and lifted up my head to meet his eyes.
"I'm so sorry I hurt you. You and our girls are the last people I want to hurt and I'm so sorry Alex", he said.
I was about to say something. Roman came out.
"Let me take Amelia", he said.
Walking back in, Dean put his hands into his pockets.
"Let it out Lex", he said.
"I want to hate you, I want to be mad at you but I can't, I", I sighed.
"Go for it, I deserve it and I didn't mean to throw out that divorce comment", he said.
I punched his shoulder hard.
"Fuck", he said, rubbing his shoulder.
"I feel sort of better", I said.
He grabbed my hips and pulled me close to him.
"Good", he said.
