My Second Chance
Chapter LIII
=Normal POV=
[Tuesday, 3/26/2019; 11:40 pm]
[Berk High School]
As it turned out from early Sunday morning; Spencer Gabriel, Hayden's five-month-old son, had a fever due to teething and the discomfort was an unfortunate double ear infection. Hayden reported around 3 am in a text that Spencer was okay, and everything was due to the fact he was cutting two teeth at once, and another not far behind. Trayden got the message first thing Sunday morning at 7:30 am, and also saw another text that Hayden got home with Gabriel and Spencer around 3:30 am. Trayden knew Hayden was tired, so he replied with an okay, glad everything is good, and rest well. Also, there was an I love you at the end. Hayden replied around 10 am that he was up. Monday was back to school, and now; it was Tuesday, the 26th. And aside from it being a typical day at school; it was also Trayden and Hayden's five-month anniversary of dating.
The morning started easy, meeting at the breezeway with friends. Classes were average, and now it was lunchtime. Lunch started twenty minutes ago, and Hayden initially said he was going to the bathroom first, and then join them. It had been a bit, and as Trayden was going to text Hayden and ask where he was; Hayden strolled up behind Trayden and kissed his cheek.
"Put it away, babe. I'm right here," Hayden chuckled as he took his seat.
"You know I worry," Trayden reminded. "You alright?"
"Yeah, developed a headache after using the bathroom. I grabbed an aspirin from Miya before coming here; she had a bit of a line, so I had to wait my turn," Hayden informed.
"Aspirin helping at all?" Devon inquired.
"Nope, not in the slightest. The stuff they keep here isn't strong enough," Hayden muttered. "It's fine…I just hope it stays a headache,"
"What do you mean?" Katie wondered.
"If this turns into a migraine; it's gonna be a shitty day for me," Hayden sighed.
"Are you prone to them?" Trayden questioned.
"I was when I was younger. I used to get one at least three times a month from 8 to 13, then it began to lessen as I turned 15. It's been random since, but they hit harder," Hayden explained. "They never knew the cause; the best guess had been season and weather changes, sometimes stress," he shrugged.
"What happens when you get one?" Rylee asked.
"Puts me on my ass for about three days. I get a good majority of the symptoms; head and neck pain, sensitivity to light and sound, nausea and vomiting, dizzy and lightheaded, throbbing pain in my head, vision gets distorted. If it's bad enough; I can faint, which is why I don't do a damn thing if I get a migraine," Hayden stated.
"How do you know if it'll be a bad one?" Alyssa inquired.
"If it hits both sides of my head," Hayden yawned.
"Do you know when they come on, babe?" Trayden hoped.
"Sometimes. Others; I'll legit wake up with one," Hayden informed. "Don't worry…I'll be okay, baby. I'll let you know if a migraine starts," he smiled. "So, what do you wanna do tonight?"
"I hadn't thought about it," Trayden replied. "Anything works; I just want to spend it with you,"
"Well, how about we do a little of everything? Dinner, movie, we can go to the park with ice cream? We could also cuddle up at my house and do everything there?" Hayden suggested.
"Kind'a like the idea of just hanging at your house, babe," Trayden said. "You've got the home theatre for movies, and the kitchen in the basement," he added.
"If that's what you'd like to do; I'm okay with it," Hayden kissed Trayden's cheek with a smile. "And I'll be home to take care of Spencer," he giggled a bit. "Or if this headache turns into a migraine. Odin knows I can't drive if it hits,"
"See, works out then," Trayden chuckled. "What time?"
"Well, we both have homework tonight, so…Let's plan for…6 pm? Sound okay?" Hayden asked.
"Works for me," Trayden nodded. "I love you,"
"I love you too," Hayden replied as they shared a light kiss and then went about finishing their lunches and talking to the others.
. . .
[6:00 pm]
[Berk; Forger/Haddock House]
The headache began to get worse by the time Hayden got home from school at 2:45; he got a ride from Trayden since his car was in the shop until Friday getting repaired. When Hayden got home; he took stronger headache medicine and got to doing his homework after informing Gabriel that Trayden would be coming over later for their five-month anniversary of dating. Gabriel, of course, didn't mind one bit and Spencer was doing fine. If the timing went well, Spencer would have his jar food meal at 5:30 pm, and then a small bottle around 8:30 pm. After this, Spencer would likely be down for the night leaving Trayden and Hayden to the rest of their evening.
Hayden's headache faded off by 3:20 pm, so he was able to whip through the rest of his homework without a problem. Finishing at 4:30 pm; Hayden put everything away and decided to start cleaning up a bit. Hayden tidied his room first, then started on the basement while Spencer was napping until 5 pm. Hayden took care of Spencer by changing and feeding him at the usual time, and then Gabriel took over watching Spencer so that Hayden could cook for himself, Trayden, and Gabriel. Hayden decided to make something easy like spaghetti and meatballs with garlic bread. Hayden was finishing up setting the plates and utensils downstairs when a knock on the door was heard.
"Coming!" Hayden called as he dried his hands and went for the front door, opening it to see Trayden. "Hi, babe," he greeted, wrapping his arms around his boyfriend of five months and hugging him tightly; then kissing him.
"Hey," Trayden replied after returning both the hug and kiss.
"Come on in," Hayden stepped aside as Trayden walked in and Hayden closed the door. "We're heading downstairs, Uncle Gabe," he said, poking his head into the living room.
"Alrighty, lad. Have fun; I've got the kiddo," Gabriel smiled. Hayden walked in quick to kiss Spencer's forehead, and then Hayden and Trayden headed down the stairs to start their anniversary date. The first thing Trayden laid eyes on was the small square table set up in the middle of the open area, but still near the kitchen. There were two chairs, and two place settings already prepared. Hayden had the food on the plates, and drinks poured ahead of time.
"Oh, this looks good," Trayden complimented, earning a blush from his boyfriend.
"I try," Hayden replied. "And I already left Gabriel some, so this is for us," he added.
"Can't wait to eat it; this is one of my favorites," Trayden smiled.
"Well, let's dig in then," Hayden chuckled. The two lovers sat down at the table and began eating. While doing this; they engaged in small talk about whatever came to mind. By 6:45; they'd finished, and both cleaned up using the downstairs kitchen. Hayden would bring it all up later on that night when Trayden left. Most of their night would be downstairs anyway.
"That was excellent Hayden," Trayden informed.
"Thanks. The meatball recipe was my dad's," Hayden revealed. "The sauce and garlic bread were based off his, but my twist," he smiled.
"You should go into cooking," Trayden offered.
"I…Actually considered that idea, still am. I do love to cook, along with singing, drawing, and what not. But honestly…I don't see myself being a singer full time because I know if I managed to hit it big; that's a lot of time away from home, and I don't want that. Songwriter, on the other hand; I could manage. I would sell my songs to singers," he shrugged.
"And being an artist, with the drawing and stuff?" Trayden wondered as the two were sitting on the couch.
"That's more of a hobby that I enjoy. I don't know if I'd want to make a career out of it," Hayden stated. "I don't think I'd want to be a cop. And I know I can't join the military because of all my mental history," he continued. "I thought of becoming a doctor, but that's a lot of extra schooling and while I appreciate what others do; I don't think I could," he admitted.
"Fair enough. At least you've put some thought into your choices, and weighed both sides," Trayden said. "Well, cooking would be a nice career for you, babe. You've got amazing recipes that you create, and your dad taught you. You could easily go into the food industry, maybe open your own restaurant?" he suggested.
"I suppose I could do that. Maybe not own a place, but I could work in one as a chef. I don't think I'd want all the responsibility of ownership or even management. I like simple that goes a long way, so for me, cooking for others would be ideal," Hayden mentioned.
"Hey, whatever works and makes you happy; that's all that matters, babe," Trayden nodded. "Whatever you want to do; I support,"
"I appreciate that, baby. As I said, still considering things. But being a chef seems to be in the lead of things I could do once I graduate. I have Spencer to think about too now. Working in a restaurant means long hours, and Spencer is still young," Hayden shrugged a little.
"You'll think of something. You could work until 4 pm or so, then come home. You don't necessarily have to work a dinner shift, maybe one or two a week?" Trayden smiled.
"True," Hayden nodded. "So…Want to get to a movie? We can watch it in here or the theatre," he inquired.
"Sounds good. What movie?" Trayden asked.
"Not sure. Let's go check them out together," Hayden offered his hand to Trayden. The black-haired teen took Hayden's hand; then they went into the theatre together, closing the curtains and Hayden used the app on his phone to turn on and dim the stair and wall lights so that they could see. Grabbing two seats in the back, and moving the cupholder so they could cuddle a bit; Hayden and Trayden started scrolling through the movies they could watch until they picked one.
. . .
[9:15 pm]
"That was a great movie. I can't believe I've never seen it before," Trayden laughed a bit. It had been some comedy/action one; both males got a kick out of it.
"I saw it once, but it was a long time ago," Hayden nodded. "What now? I've got ice cream upstairs if you want a snack,"
"What kind?" Trayden inquired.
"I think it's Pumpkin Cheesecake," Hayden recalled.
"You had me at pumpkin!" Trayden's eyes lit up. Hayden went upstairs to get the ice cream, then back down with two mugs full, including whipped cream, and a cherry on top. Also, when Hayden went upstairs; he took the dishes from dinner too. Now, the two of them were happily eating their ice cream and watching funny YouTube videos while doing so. The time continued to tick by, and soon it was 9:45 pm as Hayden and Trayden found themselves in a makeout session.
Entirely lip-locked with one another; Trayden and Hayden continued as they always did. Trayden knew he'd probably get turned on, but he wasn't so shy about it anymore. After ten minutes or so; Hayden had set himself in Trayden's lap, legs on either side of Trayden's thighs. The kisses were passionate and deep, involving their tongues dancing together. By fifteen minutes in; Trayden was hard and poking at Hayden the backside of Hayden's pants where his butt would be. However, as this was normal during them making out now; something Trayden didn't expect was to feel Hayden's erection against his stomach.
Trayden was now trying to decide if he should draw attention to it or leave things be. However, Hayden seemed to sense Trayden's sudden distracted state and broke the kiss, pulling back. "What's wrong, babe?"
"Nothing at all, love," Trayden smiled. "I, uh, was just surprised by your boner poking me in the stomach," he confessed. Hayden's eyes widened a bit, looking down and seeing it. He hadn't even noticed until Trayden said something.
"Well…That's different," Hayden admitted, seeming surprised.
"Why is that different?" Trayden wondered.
"I…I haven't been able to get hard since the Olivia thing happened at school," Hayden said, a bit shyly.
"What do you mean?" Trayden sat up a bit more now, and Hayden got off of Trayden, sitting on the couch and holding a pillow against himself, covering the erection. Trayden didn't care so much if his showed, but he could tell Hayden seemed surprised and a little embarrassed.
"Remember how I told you I was still working through some stuff and didn't like to be touched?" Hayden looked at Trayden now, who nodded. "Well, it was because of the rapes…I'm sure you knew that, though,"
"I had a strong feeling, yes," Trayden replied.
"My issue is that getting touched made me freak out, thinking I would get raped or hurt. In that; I found as time went on from everything…I had trouble getting an erection. Most things that would turn a guy on didn't work for me. You know, like…Random erections, or washing in the shower; that feel good kind of stuff…It didn't work for me. Even us making out…As easy as it was for you; it never happened for me until today," Hayden explained.
"Well, that makes sense, babe. You had been sexually assaulted by Olivia and Bradley; they would rape and abuse you. And you're not the only person who has had that kind of trouble…It happens in a lot of rape victims. I know you hate that word, but it was the easiest way to put it. Especially guys who get raped; it's hard to get an erection after everything, more so because a lot of guys believed they must have liked it because they got a boner during the events," Trayden put his hand on Hayden's arm now, causing the auburn-haired teen to look at Trayden.
"I know…And I know that I didn't like what happened; it was just a reaction out of fear or sexual stimulation…Still, I haven't been able to get hard at all until tonight. Not gonna lie; I tried porn and masturbating…Didn't happen," Hayden revealed.
"Hayden; you getting hard like this now isn't a bad thing, you know. It means you're recovering more, working through what happened. Making peace with it and moving on to being okay again; this is progress, baby. Why do you seem upset about it?" Trayden asked.
"I guess it's because as nice as it is to be able to get an erection again after a little over a year without having one or unable to…I'm still scared," Hayden shrugged.
"There's nothing wrong with that, Hayden. You might be working through things still, and can get hard, but it doesn't mean you have to be fully ready yet. It could take more time, and that's alright. But this is still progress, babe," Trayden smiled. "Don't be upset that it happened, embrace it," he added.
"But I don't want to be scared, Tray…I just wanna get past it; I have no idea how and not comfortable discussing it with a doctor or my psychiatrist…" Hayden mumbled, looking down.
"Well, you don't need them to help fix this, Hayden. You don't have a problem getting hard; just with letting anyone touch you because of what happened. You said it yourself; you don't want to be afraid, so why don't we try to conquer that fear for you?" Trayden offered.
"How?" Hayden asked.
"How did you get past the fear of opening up and trusting others?" Trayden inquired.
"You…Showed me that I could," Hayden replied.
"Right. And how did you overcome the fear of letting yourself feel something towards me?" Trayden continued.
"I just did it. Decided to stop asking questions and overthinking things," Hayden revealed.
"And when you got over the fear of dating me?" Trayden smiled.
"I chose to jump right in and see how things go…" Hayden said.
"Exactly. You got over all your fears by being shown everything will be okay, and jumping into it. And here we are…A year and five months later with you doing phenomenally better than in October 2017 when we met, babe. You're getting help, opening up…You've made friends, got a boyfriend…Look at how far you've come, Hayden. I am ridiculously proud of you, and so is everyone else. We told you not to be afraid because we'd be here…Because I would be here for you. And have I ever let you down in that regard?"
"No…" Hayden shook his head.
"That's right. I told you to take control of your life, and you have. You're so much happier now that you have. And you've even stopped two people who tried to come back into your life; you fought back, babe. Why is this little incident any different from anything else you've done? You don't want to be afraid of being touched; then don't be scared,"
"If it were that simple…I wouldn't be," Hayden sighed.
"What if you let me help?" Trayden suggested as Hayden looked at him now, arching a brow. "You know that us making out turns you on. And you got over a lot of fears by believing what you've been promised and proven, or just jumping into it…So what if I gave you a hand or blowjob? Maybe that's all you need, getting that kind of touch from someone you love, trust, and know won't hurt you," he tried.
Hayden thought about it. Trayden wasn't wrong; Hayden had been able to overcome everything else by just going with it. And he did tell Trayden that he'd let him experience things, that included touching Hayden. It wouldn't hurt to try and see what happened. "You know that if you don't like it or want to stop; I will. I'd never make you, Hayden," Trayden reminded.
"I-I do know that…I-I guess I'm just a little nervous. I…Haven't been touched in over a year…" Hayden said quietly.
"Hayden, you don't have to agree. I'm just trying to help you…" Trayden informed. Hayden knew he should at least try. After all; he was hard now unlike many other times when he couldn't seem to get turned on. Even self-attempts to get an erection failed, but he was erect now from making out with Trayden, so why not give things a try?
"Okay…" Hayden said softly, finally moving the pillow away and showing that he was still pitching a tent in his pants. Hayden wasn't sure how this would go, but he was willing to give things a shot.
