Chapter 52

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Everything belongs to their rightful owners.

AN: Just a warning the next few chapters are going to be painful. I have drawn on what I went through after my Dad died to help with the next few chapters, so I hope I represented the grief a person goes through when they lose someone they love well.

AN1: Thank you for the support. PLEASE, PLEASE, LEAVE A REVIEW.


A few hours have passed since JJ told the team that Emily died, but the truth is her death has been faked by JJ and Hotch, to protect her, and the team have returned to Virginia.

As his daughter is in bad shape, something which he isn't surprised about, Rossi has brought Penelope back to his house and apart from crying, and saying no, Rossi has realised that his daughter hasn't said a single thing since they were told about Emily.

"Are you hungry? I could make some food." Rossi tells his daughter, as they walk into his house, and Penelope acts like she hasn't even heard him, as the truth is ever since the team got on the plane to fly back Penelope has been in a state of numb disbelief, "Penelope?" Rossi asks his daughter, putting his hand on her shoulder, which causes Penelope to look at him, and as she does Rossi realises that her eyes look blank, "You hungry Kiddo?" Rossi asks.

"Sergio." Penelope suddenly says.

"What?" Rossi asks, feeling confused.

"He's at my place… he's got to be so hungry." Penelope says, feeling worried for the cat as while she arranged for a neighbour to feed him that doesn't mean he is okay.

"I'll call Morgan, get him to stop by your place and feed him." Rossi tells his daughter, who nods, "What do you feel like eating?" Rossi asks his daughter.

"Nothing." Penelope answers, and she just heads upstairs, Rossi watching her as she goes, and once his daughter is out of his sight, he pulls his phone and calls Morgan, as right now there isn't much he can do for his daughter but making sure hers and Emily's cat is fed is one thing he can do.

Once she is up in her room Penelope just lays on her bed, without getting changed, and starts to cry as she brings her legs up to her chest, as her heart breaks.


Hours later Rossi hasn't heard anything form his daughter except for heartbreaking cries. Even when he tried to bring her food it seemed like she didn't even notice he was there.

Checking on his daughter once more Rossi finds that she is no longer crying, but is just lying in her bed, with her legs against her chest, perfectly still, with the uneaten food on the desk.

"Kiddo." Rossi says, walking over to his daughter, "You need to eat." Rossi says, and Penelope doesn't say or do something, "I can make you anything you feel like." He says, and once more Penelope doesn't react, "I love you Kiddo, and I'll be right downstairs if you need anything." Rossi says, getting an idea, before heading out of his daughters' room.

Once he is out of his daughters room Rossi closes the door behind him, and truthfully he has no idea what to do as the last time Penelope was going through this kind of grief he wasn't apart of her life, doesn't know what helped her, but he knows who was with her back then, who did help her, and so he pulls out his phone.

"Hello." Stephen Gideon says, answering his phone after only a few rings.

"Stephen, it's Dave, if you can, I need you to come over to my place." Rossi explains.

"Is Rossi okay?" Stephen asks, sounding worried as he is pretty sure that something being wrong with Penelope is the only reason why Rossi would be calling him with a request like that.

"Physically." Rossi answers, and that specific answer is all Stephen needs to know.

"I'll be there as soon as I can." Stephen says, before hanging up, without saying goodbye.


A little while later Rossi, who just heard a knock at his door, is walking to his front door and he is glad that when he opens it is Stephen on the other side.

"Hey Stephen, thanks for coming." Rossi says letting him into the house.

"Hey Dave, what's going on?" Stephen asks, walking into the house, having spent enough time around FBI agents to know that Rossi keeping answers short, and not explaining what is going over the phone, means something bad has happened.

"There's no easy way to say this, so I'm just going to say it." Rossi explains, as he closes the door behind Stephen, "Emily's dead." Rossi reveals, the words being painful for him to say.

"What?" Stephen asks, sounding shocked, "How?"

"Someone from her past came back, wanting revenge. Emily went after him alone to protect Penelope and the rest of the team, and he killed her." Rossi says, knowing that he is leaving out details, but he has said enough for Stephen to understand.

"Where is she? Where is Rossi?" Stephen asks, his voice sounding panicked as he can image how bad Penelope is handling this.

"Up in her room." Rossi explains, "She's in bad shape."

"Of course, she is, the love of her life just died." Stephen says, before heading upstairs, and as he does Rossi's phone rings and he sees Hotch on the caller id and so he answers.

"Aaron?" Rossi answers, fearing that something else has happened.

"Hey Dave." Hotch says, "I'm just calling to check in, how's Penelope?" He asks, thinking that the effect this will have on Penelope is the cruellest part of what he has done, and will continue to do.

"Not good." Rossi admits, "She's been in her room since we got back, crying, not eating, not talking… she's broken." Rossi says, wishing he could take his daughter's pain, as this is the kind of pain he never wanted her to have to go through, the kind of pain he always wanted to protect her from, "I called Stephen, to try and help."

"That was a good idea." Hotch says, as he is pretty sure that Stephen is the person who could help Penelope the most right now, and if he can't then Morgan may, "How are you doing?"

"I don't think it's sunk in yet." Rossi admits, as he's been so focused on Penelope he hasn't thought about himself.

"I've talked to Strauss, she's given the entire team time off, and she's agreed that Penelope can have more time if needed." Hotch reveals.

"I think it will be." Rossi admits.

"So, do I." Hotch confirms, "Dave, if you, or Penelope, need anything, just call." Hotch requests.

"I will, bye Aaron." Dave says, before hanging up.


After leaving Rossi Stephen heads straight to Penelope's room. Once there he knocks on the door but gets no response.

"Rossi, it's me." Stephen says, "I'm coming in." Stephen says, before pushing open the door and walking in.

As he walks into the room Stephen finds his best friend, his sister, just lying on her bed, and as he sees her Stephen can't help but be reminded of how Penelope was after her mother and step father died, and so he walks across the room and climbs onto the bed on the side that Penelope is facing.

"Your Dad told me, I'm so sorry Rossi." Stephen says, the words feeling slightly hollow, but honestly, he has no idea what else to say, and it seems like Penelope didn't even hear him, "Talk to me, Rossi, what do you need?" Stephen asks his best friend, wanting to do whatever he can to help.

"Emily." Penelope says, looking at her best friend, as she once more starts to cry.

Having no idea what else to do Stephen just lays down next to his best friend, and takes her hand, holding it tightly, being pretty sure that there is only one thing he can do and that's be there with her, as he is pretty sure that there is nothing he could say, or do, to help her right now.


For a while Stephen just stays with Penelope, not saying or doing anything other than laying with his friend and holding her hand, before heading back down stairs where he finds Rossi.

"How is she?" Rossi asks, as soon as he sees Stephen.

"Asleep, she's exhausted." Stephen says, "And I think bad shape is an understatement." He admits.

"Yeah." Rossi confirms, as that's what he was afraid off, "Drink?" he asks, Stephen nods, and sits down across from him.

"You know you look exhausted too, Dave." Stephen says, as he gets a glass of scotch which he takes a drink off.

"I am."

"Maybe you should get some rest." Stephen suggests.

"I can't, I've got to be awake in case Penelope needs anything." Rossi says.

"Dave, I think we both know that the one thing Rossi needs right now is something neither of us can give her." Stephen admits.

"Emily." Rossi says, and Stephen nods, "You know if I didn't know that you'd be insulted by it I would say you're more like your father than you know." Rossi reveals, as why he intends it as a compliment he knows Stephen won't take it as one.

"Glad you didn't say it." Stephen admits, and as he does, he realises something, "I should call him, he worked with Emily, didn't he?"

"Yeah." Rossi confirms, and the two of them continue to drink their scotch in silence, both wishing they could take Penelope's pain away.


A little while later Stephen has headed home, having told Rossi to call if Penelope needs him, and Rossi is heading up to bed, being unable to fight his exhaustion any longer.

Once he is upstairs, instead of heading to his own room Rossi heads into Penelope's room where he finds his daughter fast asleep, but still fully dressed, lying on her covers, and so he goes and grabs a spare blanket, which he brings back to Penelope's room and covers her with it.

"I love you Kiddo." Rossi says, placing a kiss on Penelope's head, before heading out of the room, leaving the door open a little so that he can hear if Penelope needs him, as he promises himself that he will do whatever he has to do to help his daughter.


Four days have passed since Emily 'died' and the day of her funeral has finally come. Over the past few days Rossi has become even more concerned for his daughter as she has been staying in her room, barely eating, barely talking, and Rossi suspects barley sleeping.

It's early morning and Penelope is just sitting on her bed at her father's house, just staring out to space.

"Kiddo." Rossi says, walking into Penelope's room, having tried to knock first but he got no response, and so he just walked in, "Kiddo, it's time to go." Rossi says, walking over to his daughter, and putting his hand on her shoulder, an action that Penelope doesn't even react too, "Penelope." Rossi says and by doing that Penelope looks up at him, "It's time to go, Kitten." Rossi tells his daughter, who nods, and they both head out of the house.


A little while later the BAU team, Stephen, Matt, and Kristy have all arrived at the cemetery together, and a few minutes later Emily's casket arrives. Once it arrives Hotch, Rossi, Morgan, Reid, Stephen, and Matt all take their positions as pole buriers and as they carry Emily's casket the rest of the team, including Will, JJ and Kristy, walk with them, it being clear to the team that JJ and Kristy are encouraging Penelope to keep walking, both of them being able to tell that Penelope wouldn't keep walking without them.

Once the casket is put in its place the funeral begins and Rossi and Morgan stand either side of Penelope with Stephen standing beside Rossi, so that they can support her as they know she needs it.

As the funeral starts Penelope doesn't notice anything going on around her, she just stares at the casket that she believes holds the love of her life. After what feels like only seconds after the service begun, but is actually a lot longer, Penelope feels her father nudge her and she realises that everyone are putting roses on the coffin, and so, the steps feeling like the hardest Penelope has ever taken, she walks forward and puts her rose on the coffin before walking back to her father and Morgan, and once she is standing between them again Rossi puts his arm around his daughter as Morgan takes her hand.

Over the next fifteen minutes Emily's funeral ends, and everyone slowly starts to leave, and in some cases, in the cases of people who knew about Emily and Penelope, come up to talk Penelope, resulting in Morgan and/or Rossi needing to intervein on her behalf, and this occurs until the BAU team, Stephen, Matt and Kristy are the only ones still standing around Emily's grave.

"Kiddo, we should go." Rossi tells his daughter, and it seems like Penelope didn't hear him, "Penelope." Rossi says, gently squeezing the arm he has around his daughter to try to get through to her, and Penelope looks at him, "We should go." He repeats.

"I think I just want to go home." Penelope says, her voice quiet.

"I'll drive you." Morgan offers, before anyone else can say anything, being pretty sure that Penelope is in no shape to drive, and in response Penelope just nods, and so Rossi kisses his daughter's cheek and removes his arm from around her, "Let's go Babygirl." Morgan says, not letting go of Penelope's hand, and using it to lead her out of the cemetery.

"She's not okay." Matt says, as even though spent time with Penelope after her mother and step father died this seems different somehow.

"No, she's not." Rossi confirms, as everyone watches Penelope go, feeling worried for her, though, as Hotch and JJ watch they make an effort not to look at each other as they are sure that if they did they would give away looks of guilt.


After a completely silent drive, during which time Morgan quickly gave up trying to get Penelope to talk as he realised, he wasn't going to succeed, Morgan pulls up out from of Penelope's building. As the car stops and Morgan puts it in park, he notices that Penelope is making no effort to get out.

"I can come upstairs with you." Morgan offers, wanting to do something to help his friend.

"No." Penelope answers, "I need to do this alone." Penelope says, forcing herself to get out of the car and head towards her building.

After a few minutes, because she walked very slowly, Penelope finally gets to her apartment door. Once she is at the door Penelope pulls out her new keys, as after everything that happened her father insisted she changed her locks, and puts them into the lock.

For about a minute Penelope just stares at the keys, at the door, not wanting to make the next step,

"Come on, Rossi." Penelope says to herself, as she knows she has to and so she forces herself to unlock the door and head inside.

Once inside her apartment Penelope closes the door behind her, turns on the light and the alarm off before freezing. Looking over at the couch Penelope remembers all the nights they spent there talking, she remembers the nights Emily stayed on there when she was terrified to be alone after what Kevin did to her. It's all so clear to her that she can easily picture it, as if Emily was right there.

Looking away from the couch, with tears in her eyes, Penelope looks to the kitchen and once more she is overwhelmed with memories. Memories of all the times she and Emily made food together, of every single morning they made coffee and breakfast, usually why talking about the amazing coffee Emily has just made.

As she looks at the kitchen Penelope realises that there is something on the bench and so she walks over and finds one of Emily's leather jackets just lying there. Terrified to touch it Penelope reaches out and picks it up. Once she has picked it up Penelope brings it close to her and as soon as she does, she realises that it smells like Emily.

After a few seconds Penelope finds it too painful to hold onto anymore and so she drops it back onto the counter and heads into her bedroom. Just like with the rest of the apartment the second Penelope walks into the bedroom she is overwhelmed with memories.

She remembers explaining all her postcards to Emily when she was having nightmare, and every single night they spent together in the bed since. Looking away from the bed, Penelope walks over to her dressing table, where she is reminded that the apartment had become just as much Emily's as hers over the past few months as things belonging to Emily are everywhere.

"I can't do this." Penelope realises, as she picks up the earrings Emily gave her for their anniversary, and puts them in her pocket, "Sergio, Serge!" Penelope calls, her voice breaking, and Sergio comes running in from the bathroom and once he is close enough Penelope picks him up and leaves the apartment with him, leaving everything else untouched.


After leaving her place Penelope, with Sergio and the earrings Emily gave her, and nothing else, Penelope heads straight to her fathers, where she lets herself in with her key.

"Penelope." Rossi says, from the living area where he was drinking scotch and reading, as his daughter is the only one with a key, and so he gets up and looks to the entry way of his living room where Penelope is standing, holding Sergio.

"Can we stay here?" Penelope asks her father.

"Of course, Kiddo, of course." Rossi says, walking over and hugging his daughter.


A while later Rossi has gone to bed, and is asleep, but Penelope is awake, just lying on her bed. Even though she has been barley sleeping Penelope doesn't feel tired, she feels numb, and just like when she was in her apartment Penelope can easily picture Emily, which only makes her miss her more, and so she just lays on her bed, with silent tears rolling down her face, only wanting one thing, and that's Emily back.


Far away from Virginia where Penelope is barely hanging on, Emily, who is still healing and in disguise is sitting at a table at a café alone, waiting, until JJ walks up and sits down across from her.

"Passports from three different countries, and a bank account in each one to keep you comfortable." JJ says, handing Emily over a manila envelope, not revealing that she also included a single picture of Penelope, despite the risk, as she figured that it would give Emily comfort.

"Thank you." Emily responds.

"Good luck." JJ responds, and to her surprise Emily doesn't get up, and that's because there is something she needs to do.

"Penelope. Promise me, you'll keep an eye on her, protect her, make sure she's okay." Emily says, as she cannot walk away, cannot stay away if Penelope won't be okay, no matter what happens to her.

"I promise." JJ says, though she and Hotch have talked and decided that they will be carful about what they tell Emily about how Penelope is doing as they know that she will return, put herself in danger if she finds out how not okay Penelope is, or if something happens.

"Thank you." Emily says, before walking away.

As Emily walks away, she realises that the pain of getting staked, of being branded, cannot even compare to how much it hurt to walk away from Penelope.

Walking away from Penelope, from the love of her life, letting Penelope think she is dead, kills her, but she doesn't have much of a choice, and so she just has to keep telling herself two things. The first is that it's the safer choice, and the second is that Rossi, Stephen, Morgan and the rest of the team will help Penelope get through losing her, though the ladder is harder for her to believe than the former, but she keeps trying to force herself to as she doesn't have another choice.