"Dream a Little Dream of Me"

"Holls! C'mon Kiddo! Wake up!" Dean woke me up, which I was not happy about. Today was my sleeping in day. But I was sort of happy, I was having more weird Conor dreams. They only happen when he's away, and he said he's gonna be gone a while.

"Hm where's Sammy?" I asked noticing he wasn't in the room

"He left a note saying...he went to the bar" Dean said, I raised my eyebrow

"At...2:00 in the afternoon?" I read from the clock

"Which is why we gotta go pull him out of it" Dean said

"Alright gimme about 5 minutes" I said

"Meet me outside" he said I nodded

I sighed and started to pack my bag, oh the road life. You learn to pack up and get dressed in five minutes or less.

I threw on a pair of jeans, converse, and Sam's old Stanford sweatshirt, which I stole from him. Its so big and warm its like a blanket. I let my hair down and did a weird flip with it, I quickly brushed my teeth and meet Dean in the car

"Time" I said climbing in

"Four minutes fifty nine seconds" he laughed

"Why do you think he went to the bar?" I asked

"I don't know" he sighed

"Sammy's not really the drink your feelings type, thats more you" I said "no offense"

"None taken" he shrugged

"I mean the last time he did this was when-" I stopped myself, that was a bad time

"When he made me promise if he went bad I would kill him" Dean finished

"When I promised I wasn't letting him die" I recalled.

"Looks like neither of those promises really worked out" He said

"Yeah, guess not" I sighed. Why did I have to bring it up

We drove to the nearest bar and sure enough Sammy was sitting there all alone. I ran up behind him and wrapped my arms around his neck giving him a hug.

"Hey there Sammy" I said

"So how ya doin'" I asked taking a seat on the stool next to him. He just sent a sad smile a few moments of silence passed

"Sammy What are you doing?" Dean asked taking a seat on the other side of him

"Having a drink" Sam answered

"It's two in the afternoon" Dean said

"And you're drinking" I picked up his cup smelt it and took a small sip "Whiskey" I answered. Dean shot me a bitchface

"Sam...hard liquor?" Dean asked

"I drink whiskey all the time" Sam said

"No, no you don't" I said

"What's the big deal? Dean you get sloppy in bars, you hit on chicks all the time. Why can't I?" Sam asked

We looked around the bar, the only other person there was an older lady looking ehhh not so good

"It does have slim pickings around here" Dean commented

"Yeah well that cougar has been eyeing you two like pieces of meat" I chuckled

"What's going on with you Sam?" Dean asked

Sam shook his head looking completely lost. I know what this is about now, Sam looks how I feel. I guess i'm just better at hiding it, what can I say plenty of practice.

"I tried, Dean" Sam said

"To do what?" Dean asked confused

"To save you, so did Holly" Sam said

"Could I get a whiskey, double, neat" Dean ordered

"I'm serious, Dean" Sam said

"No, Sammy you're drunk" I said sadly

"I mean, where you're going Dean...what you're gonna become" Sam said starting to tear up

"I can't stop it. I'm starting to think maybe even Ruby can't stop it. But really, the thing is, no one can save you" Sam said, I got a lump in my throat and tried not to cry, I hate seeing Sam like this. I also hate the possibility Sam's drunk talk is the truth.

"What I've been telling you" Dean said, I shot him a bitchface

"No, that's not what I mean. I mean, no one can save you because you don't wanna be saved. How can you care so little about yourself?" Sam asked. Yup its true, everything Sam's saying is true. Jesus I could use a whiskey about now

Dean scoffed and smiled a little

"What's wrong with you?" Sam asked

Dean's phone started ringing, I forgot he told me to hold it for him. I took it out of my pocket and answered it

"Hello?" I asked

"Hello is Mr. Sinderson there?" A man asked

"Yes, may I ask what this is about?" I asked looking to Dean, he mouthed a "who is it?" I just shrugged

"I'm sorry to inform you of this but, Mr. Singer was found in a motel room this morning, he's been admitted to the hospital"

"What why? What happened?" I asked

"We're not so sure he's in a comatose state..." All of the mans words just sort of blurred, I was frozen

"Holls?" Dean's voice brought me out of it

"Its-its Bobby" I said handing the phone to him

"Hello?" Dean said

"Yes this is Mr. Sinderson" Dean said

"We'll be there in less than an hour" Dean said, we rushed to the hospital. I ran into Bobby's room and froze in the door way. He looked like he was sleeping,

I walked over and sat in the chair next to his bed. I took his hand, in both of mine it was ice cold.

The boys walked in and just stood there as shocked as I was.

"Bobby" I whispered

The doctor walked in

"So, what's the diagnosis?" Sam asked

"We've tested everything we can think to test. He seems perfectly healthy" the doctor said

"Except that he's comatose" I spat harshly

"Mr. Sniderson, you're his emergency contact. Anything we should know? Any illnesses?" The doctor asked

"No, he-he never gets sick. I mean, he doesn't even catch cold" Dean said

"is there anything you can do?" Sam asked

"Look, I'm sorry, but we don't know what's causing it... so we don't know how to treat it. He just... went to sleep, and didn't wake up" the doctor said

"Thank you" Sam said as the doctor left

We all shared a look before looking back to Bobby.

"Bobby what the hell did you get into?" Sam asked

"I think I know where we can find out" Dean said.

We headed to his motel room

I picked the lock quickly and closed the door behind us. His room looked so neat, like no one was ever there.

"So, what was Bobby doing in Pittsburgh?" Sam asked

"Unless he's taking an extremely lame vacation" Dean said

"I mean, he must have been working a job, right?" Sam said as we continued looking around

"Well, you think there'd be some sort of sign of something, you know?" Dean said, Every drawer We opened was empty.

"Research, news clippings..." Dean listed

"Or a frigging pizza box or a beer can...you sure we're in the right room" I asked

"How 'bout this?" Sam said from the closet, he pushed the clothes aside to reveal news paper clippings and pages of Research

"Yahtzee" I said

"Good old Bobby, always covering up his tracks" Dean said

"You make heads or tails of any of this?" Sam asked. Dean picked up a paper with a plant on it

"Silene capensis, which of course means absolutely nothing to me" Dean read off the paper

"Sounds familiar" I said

"Here, obit" Sam said taking a paper off the wall

"Dr. Walter Gregg, 64, university neurologist." Sam read

"How'd he bite it?" I asked

"Um.. actually, they don't know. They say he just went to sleep and didn't wake up" Sam said

"That sound familiar to you?" Dean said

"Alright, um... So let's say Bobby was looking into the doc's death. You know, hunting after something-" Sam started

"That started hunting him" I concluded

"Yeah" Sam said

"Alright, you two stay here. See what you make of this" he said pointing to the closet

"What are you gonna do?" I asked

"Look into the good Doctor myself" Dean answered walking out the door. I looked at all the paper and sighed

"Well lets get started" I said unenthusiastically

A few hours of endless researching and going through research passed. All I found is that that plant is more commonly Known as African dream root, and its used for some intense dream walking

I heard the familiar smoke on the water guitar intro and instantly knew Dean was calling. I changed his ringtone so I know it's him, I answered

"Whats up?" I asked

"The Doc was doing some serious sleep studies" Dean said

"Makes sense" I said

"Meet me at the hospital" Dean said hanging up

"C'mon Sammy were heading back to Bobby" I said

"Yeah" he said packing up

We met Dean in the room

"How is he?" I asked Dean ran his hand over his face.

"No change. What you got?" Dean asked. He got up and walked over

"Well, considering what you told me about the doc's experiments... Bobby's wall is starting to make a hell of a lot more sense" Sam stated

"How so?" Dean asked

"Silene capensis, is also known as African Dream Root. It's been used by shaman and medicine men for centuries" I answered

"Let me guess. They dose up, bust out didjeridus, start kicking around the hackey" Dean said

"Not quite. If you believe the legends, it's used for dreamwalking. I mean, entering another person's dreams, poking around in their heads" Sam explained

"I take it we believe the legends" Dean said

"When don't we?" I remarked

"But dreamwalking is just the tip of the iceberg. I mean, this Dream Root is some serious mojo. You take enough of it, with practice, you can become a regular Freddy Krueger" Sam said

"You can control anything. You could turn bad dreams good, you could turn good dreams bad" Sam listed

"And killing people in their sleep?" Dean asked

"Yeah" Sam answered

We looked over to Bobby

"I have an idea" I said

"What?" Dean asked

"If this is really happening to Bobby, it's like a deep dream right?" I asked

"Yeah I guess" Sam answered

"I can see your guys's Dreams maybe I can see whats going on" I said

"Holly no" Dean said

"Why not Dean? This is Bobby we're talking about...its worth a shot" I said

"Whats the worse that can happen? A nose bleed?" I said, Sam shrugged

"Fine, but I don't like it" Dean said

"You and me both" I said walking over to the side of his bed. I sat in the chair and placed my hand on his forehead I started to focus. Sam and Dean's voices faded.

I opened my eyes and I was in a house. Bobby was running from something down an endless hallway, he looked terrified.

"Help!" He yelled

"Bobby!" I yelled but he couldn't hear me or see me.

"Bobby c'mon! Its a dream!" I yelled

"Somebody! please help me!" He yelled

"Bobby!" I yelled again

I was back in reality with a major headache and a minor nosebleed.

"What happened?" Dean asked handing me tissue.

"It's bad, we have to get him out. He couldn't hear me or see me" I said

We headed back to our motel room

"So how do we find our homicidal sandman?" Dean asked

"Play Metallica" I suggested sarcastically

"Could be anyone" sam said

"Yeah?" Dean asked

"Yeah" Sam answered

"Anyone who knew the Doctor and had access to his dream shrooms" Dean said

"Maybe one of his test subjects or something?" I said

"Possible. But his research was pretty sketchy. I mean.. I don't know how many subjects he had or who all of them were" Dean said

Sam scoffed

"What?" I asked

"Any other case, we'd be calling Bobby and asking him for help right now" Sam sighed

"You know what? You're right" I said

"What?" Sam asked

"Let's go talk to him" Dean smiled, obviously having the same idea as me

"Sure, I think we might find the conversation a bit one-sided" Sam said confused

"Not if we're tripping on some Dream Root" Dean said

"What?" Sam asked in disbelief

"Any better ideas shoot" I said

"You wanna go dreamwalking inside Bobby's head?" Sam asked

"Yeah. Why not? Maybe we could help" Dean said

"We have no idea what's crawling around in there" Sam said

"How bad could it be?" Dean said

"It's bad" I answered "but it's bobby, and we need to help him" I said

"Yeah, you're problem though. We're fresh out of African Dream Root, so unless you know someone who can score some it..." Sam said

"Crap" Dean said

"What?" Sam asked

"Bela" Dean stated

"Bela? Crap" Sam scoffed

"You're actually suggesting we ask her a favor?" I asked in disbelief

"I'm feeling dirty just thinking about it, but yeah" Dean said

He made the call, and now its just a waiting game, Sam passed out at his laptop. He was making some strange noises

"Sam" I laughed, Dean smirked.

I threw my shoe and hit Sam's arm. He jumped awake.

"Sam!" I said

"What?" He asked

"Dude, you were out. Making some serious happy noises" Dean smirked

Sam looked uncomfortable

"Who were you dreaming about?" I asked

"What? No one. Nothing" Sam replied

"Why so defensive?" I laughed

"Come on, you can tell me. Angelina Jolie?" Dean asked

"No" Sam said

"Brad Pitt?" Dean asked, I busted out laughing

"No. No. Dude, it doesn't matter" Sam said

"Told you, you need to get laid" I muttered, Sam got a mortified look on his face

"Ha, I told him that to" Dean laughed

"Sammy the two people who know you best agree you need to get laid" I said

"Stop! Guys can we just please not talk about this" Sam complained me and Dean laughed

"I called Bela" Dean said Sam flashed a quick smile...oh my god!

"What was that?!" I asked

"What was what?" Sam asked nervously

"I saw that! Oh my god Really" I said, Seriously Sam I mean I know Bela's hot but really, I would've rather have it be Brad Pitt. Dean was still clueless

"Bela? Yeah? She-What'd she.. you know, say? She.. gonna.. help us?" Sam asked

"Shockingly, no, which puts us back to square one. I've been trying to decipher the Doctor's notes. Unfortunately, he has worse handwriting than you do" Dean said

"You gonna come help us with this stuff?" Dean smirked,

"Yeah, yeah. Just give me a sec" Sam said shuffling pages frantically

There was suddenly a knock at the door, we turned to it. I noticed Sam struggling with well you know and busted out laughing, I tossed him his jacket to "cover up"

"God it's like your a teenager again" I muttered. Like I said before growing up on the road surrounded by guys...Nothing is private.

I pulled my revolver as Dean opened the door, it was Bela. Well this is awkward. I tucked my revolver back in my waist band.

"Bela" I said bitchily, I really hate her

"Hey you two called me. Remember?" She said

"I remember you turning us down" Dean said

"Well, I'm taking your sisters advice and not being a bitch" she remarked

"Nah, you're still a bitch" I smirked

"I brought you your African Dream Root" she said handing Dean a jar full

"Nasty stuff, and not easy to come by" she said

"Why the sudden change of heart?" I said

"What? I can't do you three a little favor every now and again?" She asked

"We just wanna know what the strings are before you attach them" I said

"You said this was for Bobby Singer, right?" She asked

"Well, I'm doing it for him. Not you" she said

"Bobby? Why?" Dean asked

"He saved my life once. In Flagstaff. I screwed up and he saved me, okay? You satisfied?" She asked

"Maybe" Dean said

"So when do we go on this little magical mystery tour?" She asked

"Oh, you're not going anywhere" I said

"I don't trust you enough to let you in my car, much less Bobby's head. No offense" Dean said putting the jar in the safe with the colt.

She looks annoyed

"It's 2am where am I supposed to go" She said

"Its a motel get a room" I said, she huffed and walked out. One problem solved

I sat on the bed next to Dean, Sam walked over with the cups. It was a yellow liquid and it stunk, bad.

"Wait can't forget this" Sam said taking an envelope out of his shirt

"Do I wanna know?" I asked

"Whats the hell is that?" Dean asked

"Bobby's hair" Sam said

"We have to drink Bobby's hair?" Dean asked

"Nope I didn't wanna know" I said

Sam put some in each of our cups.

"That's how you control whose dream you're entering. You gotta drink some of their uh... Some of their body" Sam said

"Well, guess the hair of the dog is better than other parts of the body" Dean said

"Can't agree with ya more on that" I said

"Well uh...bottoms up" I said, It tasted awful. I wanted to throw it up

"Feel anything?" Sam asked

"Nope" Dean said

"Not even a little" I said

Thunder and lightening sounded from outside

"Hey, when did it start raining?" Sam asked

We walked over to the window

"When did it start raining upside down?" I asked

The colors on the wall started to fade. We were suddenly in the house I saw Bobby in

"Okay, I don't know what's weirder. The fact that we're in Bobby's head or that he's dreaming of Better Homes and Gardens" Dean said

"Wait imagine this place without the paint job...mire cluttered, dusty books everywhere" I hinted

"It's Bobby's house" Dean said

"Yeah" Sam said

"Bobby?" Dean called in a hushed voice

"Bobby?" I whispered walking around

"I'm gonna go look outside" Sam said

"No, no, no, stay close" Dean said

"Dude, I'll be fine. Just, look around in here. Look, we gotta find him" Sam said

"Careful Sammy, don't do anything stupid" I said, he nodded walking out the door

Me and Dean cautiously continued searching.

"Bobby!" I called

Dean hit my arm and pointed to a closet a small noise sounded

"Bobby" I called again

"Who's out there?" Bobby asked. He sounded awful

We walked to the door, I knocked softly

"Bobby, you in there?" Dean asked

"Dean? Holly?" Bobby asked

"Yeah. It's us Bobby, Open up" I said

He opened the door and looked behind us to the kitchen.

"Bobby" I said hugging him

"Hey" Dean said

We walked to the kitchen,

"Your face" I said pointing out the scratch

"How in the hell did you two find me?" He asked

"Sam's here somewhere to we got our hands on some of that Dream Roof stuff" I said

"Dream Root? What?" Bobby asked

"Dr. Gregg, the experiments?" Dean hinted

"What the hell are you talking about?" Bobby asked

The lamps began to flicker.

"Hurry" Bobby said running for the closet. Dean turned around and grabs him

"Whoa whoa whoa, Bobby? What's going on?" Dean asked

"She's coming" Bobby said terrified

"Okay, you know this is a dream, don't you?" Dean asked

"What are you, crazy?" Bobby asked

"It's a dream, Bobby! None of this is real!" I yelled

"Does that look made-up?" Bobby said pointing to a lady, She's wearing a white dress and there's blood on it

"Bobby, who is that?" Dean asked Bobby has tears in his eyes now

"Bobby?" I asked softly

"She's... She's my wife" Bobby answered. I've heard vaguely about Bobby's wife, I would've never even know about her if I didn't ask Bobby the first time we stayed at his place. You know kids, they say the darnedest things. Even at that age it was obvious It hurt him to talk about, so I never asked him again.

"Why did you do this to me?" She directed at Bobby

"I'd rather died myself than hurt you" Bobby replied

"But you did hurt me. You shoved that knife into me. Again and again. You watched me bleed. Watched me die" she said turning angry

"Bobby, she's not real" Dean tried to get his attention

"How could you?" She cried

"You were possessed, baby. You were rabid. And I didn't know what I know now. I didn't know how to save you" Bobby said

"You're lying. You wanted me dead. If you'd loved me, you would've found a way!" She yelled

"I'm sorry" Bobby said

"Alright" Dean said dragging Bobby into the other room and closing the kitchen doors, she started banging on them and screaming

"We're telling you, all of it. Your house, your wife, it's a nightmare!" I said holding the doors closed

Dean finally found a wire to tie around the door knob. I stepped towards Bobby with him

"I killed her" he cried

"Bobby! This is your dream you can wake up. I mean, hell, you can do anything" Dean said

"Just leave me alone. Let her kill me already" He said

"Look at me. Look at me. You gotta snap out of this now. You gotta snap out of this now! You're not gonna die. We're not gonna let you die. I'm not gonna let you die. You're like a father to us. You gotta believe me, please" Dean pleaded

"I'm dreaming?" Bobby asked

"Yes. Now take control" I said

Bobby looks towards the door, and closes his eyes tightly. Suddenly all the banging and screaming stops.

I untied the wore and opened the doors, she was gone

"I don't believe it" Bobby said

"Believe it" I said

"Now would you please wake up?" Dean asked

I suddenly jumped awake in bed, Sam and Dean did as well

I looked over to Sam "where the hell have you been?" I asked

"Fighting with the guy who started this. What about you two?" Sam said

"Fending off Bobby's dead/possessed wife" I said

"Snapping him out of it" Dean said

We headed straight to the hospital, Sam went to check out Jeremy. Bobby was already sitting up in bed with a file

"Bobby!" I said running over and hugging him

"Hey squirt" he greeted "Dean" he added

"Hey Bobby" he said

I sat next to him on the bed and started reading papers

"Hey, Bobby. That, uh... That stuff, all that stuff with your wife?" Dean asked, Bobby looked over at him

"Everybody got into hunting somehow" Bobby sighed

"I'm sorry" Dean said

"Don't be sorry. If it weren't for you, guys I'd still be lost in there. Or dead. Thank you" Bobby said

"Bobby you don't have to thank us, you'd do the same" I said, he smiled

"So, uh, stoner boy wasn't in his dorm. My guess is he's long gone by now" Sam said walking in

"He ain't much of a stoner" Bobby said picking up his picture and looking at it.

"No?" Dean asked

"No. His name's Jeremy Frost. Full-on genius. Hundred-and-sixty IQ. Which is sayin' some, considering his dad took a baseball bat to his head" Bobby answered, well this is just fantastic

"He's Father of the Year" Bobby remarked

"He died before Jeremy was 10"

"Looks like a real sweetheart" I commented holding up a copy of his license.

"Injury gave him Charcot-Wilbrand, he hasn't dreamt since" Bobby said

"Till he started dosing the dream drug" Dean said

"yep" Bobby said

"How'd he know how to dig up your worst nightmare and throw it at you?" I asked

"He was rooting around in my skull. God knows what he saw in there" Bobby said

"Yeah. How'd he get in there in the first place? Isn't he supposed to have some of your hair, your DNA or something?" Sam asked

"Yeah. Before I knew it was him, he offered me a beer. I drank it. Dumbest frigging thing" Bobby said

"Oh, I don't know. It wasn't that dumb" Dean said with a nervous laugh

We all turned and looked at him

"Dean, you didn't?" I started

"I was thirsty" Dean tried to defend

"That's great, now he can come after either one of you" Sam said

"Well, now we just have to find him first" Dean said

"We better work fast and coffee up. Because one thing we cannot do is fall asleep" Bobby said

IT'S BEEN TWO DAYS! Two days since anyone has slept, Me and Sam had to stay awake to make sure Dean didn't pass out, and Bela is doing the same for Bobby back at the motel

Dean's driving, I don't even know where to. We're just driving

"I mean, this Jeremy guy's not a frigging ghost. Where the hell could he be?!" Dean said pissed

"Dean, you sure you don't want me to drive? You seem a little..." Sam started Dean shot him a look that shut him up

"...caffeinated" I finished for Sam

"Yeah well, thanks for the news flash" Dean said sarcastically.

Dean's phone started ringing, he fumbled with it before answering it

"Tell me you got something" Dean said

"Yeah" Dean said angrily

"What the hell, Bobby!" Dean yelled

"Sorry, I'm sorry. I'm just.. I'm-I'm-I'm tired" Dean said yeah and cranky, all of us are. About an hour ago I was ready to start throwing punches at them.

"What's Bela got?" Dean asked

"Great! Well, I'm just gonna go blow my brains out now!" He said hanging up and throwing his phone in the backseat next to me.

"Alright, that's it. I'm done!" Dean said pulling onto a side road in the forest and driving to a clearing

"What are you doing?" Sam asked

"Taking myself a long-overdue nap" Dean said

"What? Dean, Jeremy can come after you!" I said

"That's the idea" Dean said

"Excuse me? Did I just hear you right?" I said

"Come on, we can't find him, so let him come to me" Dean said

"On his own turf? Where he's basically a god?" Sam said

"I can handle it" Dean said

"Not alone, you can't" Sam said reaching over and pulling some of Dean's hair out.

"Ow!" Dean exclaimed

"What are you doing?" Dean asked

"Coming in with you" Sam said

"Well so am I" I said

"Holly we need you here to make sure nothing goes on. Just peak into our heads every once in a while and if it looks bad you call Bobby" Sam said

"Fine" I agreed

"No! you're not Sam!" Dean exclaimed

"Why not? At least then it'll be two against one" Sam said

"Cause I don't want either of you digging around in my head

"Too bad" Sam stated

They both passed out pretty quick, and just left me here to worry. Great, enough time has passed what the hell is going on in there!

I put my hand on Dean's forehead like I did with Bobby. I ended up in our motel room, Dean's standing there and a man is in a chair clicking the lamp on and off.

"Dean?" I tested if he could hear me but he couldn't

"Jeremy" he said to the man, the man turned around. It was Dean, oh what the hell? It was Dean but something about him was off, he had a sinister look to him.

"Hey, Dean" Fake Dean said

"Well, aren't you a handsome son of a gun" Dean smiled

"We need to talk" fake Dean said, they began circling each other.

"I get it. I get it. I'm my own worst nightmare, is that it? Huh? Kind of like the Superman III junkyard scene? A little mano y mano with myself?" Dean said

"Joke all you want, smart-ass. But you can't lie to me. I know the truth" fake Dean said

"I know how dead you are inside. How worthless you feel. I know how you look into a mirror... and hate what you see" Fake Dean said, whats he talking about?

"Sorry, pal. it's not gonna work. You're not real" Dean smiled

"Sure I am. I'm you" f Dean said

"I don't think so. 'Cause see, this is my siesta. Not yours. All I gotta do is snap my fingers and you go bye-bye" Dean said snapping his fingers, nothing happened, he snapped about three more times with the same result.

"I'm not going anywhere. Neither are you" f Dean said, the door slammed shut and locked

"Like I said..." F Dean raises a shot gun

"we need to talk" f Dean said they started circling each other again

"De c'mon its not real!" I said noticing his expression change

"Talk about low self-esteem" F Dean chuckled

"Then again, I guess it's not much of a life worth saving, now is it?" F Dean said.

"No thats not true!" I said as if he could hear me

"Wake up, Dean. Come on, wake up" I said

"I mean, after all, you've got nothing outside of Sam and Holly" F Dean taunted

"You are nothing. You're as mindless and obedient as an attack dog" F Dean said

"That-That's not true" Dean said

"No? What are the things that you want? What are the things that you dream? I mean, your car? That's Dad's. Your favorite leather jacket? Dad's. Your music? Dad's. Do you even have an original thought?" F Dean said

Dean scoffed

"No. No, all there is is, "Watch out for Sammy and Holly! Look out for your little brother and sister, boy!" You can still hear your Dad's voice in your head, can't you?" F Dean said

"Just shut up" Dean said

"I mean, think about it...all he ever did is train you, boss you around" F Dean said

"But Sam... and little Holls, those two he doted on. Those two he loved" F Dean said

"No!" I said

"I mean it. I'm getting pissed" Dean said

"Dad knew who you really were. A good soldier and nothing else. Daddy's blunt little own father didn't care whether you lived or died. Why should you?" F Dean said

"No! Dean thats not true!" I yelled with no results

Dean took the gun and hit fake Dean with it

He pushed f Dean hard against the wall

"My father was an obsessed bastard!" Dean yelled

F Dean tried to get up and Dean hit him down again

"All that crap he dumped on me, about protecting Sam and Holly! That was his crap. He's the one who couldn't protect his family. He-" Dean took a step back and hit him again

"He's the one who let Mom die" Dean said. I felt tears run down my face.

"Who wasn't there for Sam or Holly! I always was! He wasn't fair! I didn't deserve what he put on me! And I don't deserve to go to hell!" Dean shot f Dean twice in the chest

Fake Dean was slumped against the wall dead

Dean walked over, suddenly F Dean's eyes opened, completely black. It made both of us jump back

"You can't escape me, Dean! You're gonna die. And this, this is what you're gonna become" F Dean said menacingly

Everything went black, we all jumped awake in the impala

Dean looked shaken, so was I. What the hell was that? Is that how Dean really feels? Dad loved him, dad died for him. I mean he was no father of the year but Dad did the best he could.

We headed back to the motel in silence. Bela was already gone. We walked in the motel room and met up with Bobby,

"Holly you okay?" Dean asked

"Yeah i'm fine" I said, he could tell I was lying but he didn't say anything about it

"Thats weird, Bela just took off" Sam said

"Yeah well, if you ask me what's weird is why she helped us in the first place" Bobby said

"I thought you saved her life" Dean said

"What the hell are you talking about?" Bobby asked confused

"The thing in Flagstaff" I said

"That thing in Flagstaff was an amulet. I gave her a good deal, that's all" Bobby said

"You three better check your pockets" Bobby said

"Oh no" I said walking over to the closet, the safe was broken into and the colt was gone.

"Bela stole the Colt" Sam said in disbelief

"Damn it!" Bobby said pissed

"Pack you crap" Dean said

"Why? Where are we going?" Sam asked

"Hunting the bitch down" I answered for Dean, we decided to stay for a few hours until the sun came up.

We packed up and hit the road in the morning, I want to tell Dean that I was there, but nows not the time, I decided to sit upfront in between them

"Hey, Sam. I was wondering. When you were in my head, what did you see?" Dean asked

"Uh, just Jeremy. He kept me separated from you. Easier to beat my brains out that way, I guess" Sam said

"What about you?" Sam asked

"Nothing. I was looking for you the whole time" Dean said a few moments of silence passed

"Sam?Holls?" Dean said

"Yeah?" Sam asked, Dean cleared his throat

"I've been doing some thinking. And... Well, the thing is... I don't wanna die" Dean said

"And I don't wanna go to hell" Dean admitted

"We're not gonna let you" I said, he sent me a sad smile, I leaned my head on his shoulder

"Alright. Yeah. We're gonna find a way to save you" Sam said Dean smiled slightly

"Okay...good" he said.

I never had the intention of letting either one of my brothers die. I'm not letting Dean die, i'm not letting him go to hell, and i'm most defiantly not letting him become the version of himself he keeps away in his head. I don't know how, but i'm going to find a way. No matter what it takes

Thanks for reading :)