A/N: Somewhere along the way writing this story, I decided to play around with a concept I'd never tried before. I hope this chapter makes sense.

Standard Disclaimer: These lovely characters ain't mine, I just play with them gently. Please don't sue me. The mistakes are mine, though.


Chapter 42 – Deja Vu All Over Again

In the throes of whatever spell was at work, Regina regained access to a depository of memories she hadn't been aware existed within the vault of her mind. Caught up in some sort of limbo where time stood still and she was neither in her body nor out of it, she entered the depository. The Inside was fashioned as a quaint study that was remarkably similar to the one in her home on Mifflin Street. Books lined the shelves, and as she studied the spines decorated with titles formed by gilded letters, a picture began to emerge of what she was looking at. Of My Year in Garlot, one tome read, and she realized with the utmost astonishment that she was looking at a record of her life as Elaine, brief as it was.

That there were only a few small rows of books told her that her life as Elaine had been tragically short. To her amazement, brushing a finger down the spine of that volume unleashed a flood of memories of the seasons she'd spent as a very young lady in the realm of King Nentres, who had taken a fancy to her and was in negotiations with her mother to arrange a marriage when her sister Morgause showed up to rescue her from such a barbaric fate. Curiosity winning out, Regina began to sift through the volumes of information contained in the other books hoping to make sense of what was going on. In the process, she essentially relived the entire history of her past life.

As Elaine, she had grown up in relative seclusion, raised by a mother whose frequent delirium made her unfit for the job, a woman whose debilitating grief after the death of her husband rendered her unable to function outside of the necessities. Vivienne, who by some cosmic joke could have passed for Cora's twin, had not been an utter failure. In spite of her mental instability, she'd made sure they were fed and clothed, although usually that was accomplished by prostituting herself to the nearest available minor noble, and when not in said noble's company spent her time indulging her delusions of a pristine life that did not exist.

And oh her mother had such plans for her! The idea was to restore good fortune to the family name by marrying her off as if she were a prize heifer fit only to command a healthy dowry with which respect could be bought. Like she had as Regina, she had foolishly believed she had a say in her fate and made other plans for herself. She fell in love with a local peasant boy, and to spite her mother and escape being condemned to a marriage she did not consent to, she and her lover concocted ill-fated arrangements to flee the country. When he died in a tragic accident before they could abscond, she withered for a time into an empty shell.

It was only after her sister, Morgause, rescued her from her insane mother's clutches in Garlot that she wrested any semblance of purpose from the ceaseless miseries of her life. Morgause took her in, loved her, taught her to harness her innate magic, and then convinced her to enter into a pact with the Triple Goddess. For a time, she was happy again. Not only had she gained a sister, but she had found a family in her fellow priestesses and discovered her true purpose: to usher in a glorious new age of magic.

But then Morgause was slain, and she descended into a half-crazed state that only worsened some years later when news reached her of her other half-sister Morgana's death at the hands of the great sorcerer Emyrs. Years passed like viscous molasses after that, during which she haunted the northern reaches of Albion, killing indiscriminately and terrorizing the mostly peaceful citizenry to appease the monstrous rage that stalked within the dark areas of her psyche. Hatred became her astringent sustenance and loneliness her faithful companion. So wretched was she that the local folk began to refer to her as Le Fécreuse, the Hollow Fairy.

An existence of cruelty and emptiness seemed to be her lot in life until one day during a dreadful tempest, hoping to escape the downpour and the blinding arcs of lightning streaking through the sky, she wandered into a remote village far along the northern coast of Alba. There she spotted a little tavern nestled between an old apothecarium and a blacksmithy. It was quaint but homely establishment, and ripe for the picking.

Being hungry and cold, she pulled her hood over her head to better disguise herself. After all, there was really no need to terrorize the locals until she was properly fed and could once again feel her extremities. Then, she decided, she would put on a show the simpletons inside would never forget.

After trudging inside, she shouldered her way through the crowd, then scanned the room for threats. Seeing none, a secluded table in the far corner then caught her eye. She shuffled over in a nonthreatening manner then settled in to brood while she waited to be served. The next thing she knew she was being offered a piping hot cup of cider by the most beautiful woman she'd ever laid eyes on.

Regina experimentally tugged on the volume that contained that memory, Of The First Encounter With My True Love. As the book pulled free of the rest, she felt herself pass through the threshold separating past from present. Suddenly she was no longer Regina Mills, who was trapped in some crazy-ass dimension where she could interact with her memories of a past life. In a flash of blinding light, she actually became Elaine…


Scowling dangerously, she lifted her eyes from the steaming cup to the woman who had placed it so brazenly on the table.

"It's on the house," the unusually tall brunette said, totally unaffected by Elaine's prickly demeanor. Her smile was so luminous that a spark of heat flickered to life within a heart once frozen over solid.

"Whatever for? I don't know you from Eve," Elaine said, eyes narrowing. Suspicion was her default state of being outside of manic depression or an unnatural hankering for murder.

The brunette serving maid, far too beautiful to ever be referred to as a measly tavern wench, merely shrugged as if disaffected by her motives being so baldly questioned. Tilting her head, she gave Elaine a lopsided grin.

"You looked like you could use a little pick-me-up," the woman said with a honey-smooth voice that was sure to have trapped many a poor soul into her all-too-tempting honeycomb. "The weather is awful, even for this time of year. I know if it were me dragging through the door, I'd want someone to offer me one of the most delicious cups of cider I'd have ever tasted. And besides," leaning forward a bit, the saucy girl then gave her a wink, "I never could resist a beautiful woman."

The barely concealed interest in the maiden's forest green eyes made Elaine squirm in her seat. It had been a very long time since she'd found herself so discomfited by another's presence, and was even more so disturbed by how much she found herself craving being the object of such blatant, if not flattering, desire. She was not so out of practice in picking up cues from a potential bedmate that she hadn't recognized the open invitation made clear by the flirtatious comment. As tempted as she was to scratch that itch, and oh! it had been so long since she'd had a woman in her bed, the isolation of her self-imposed exile after Morgana's death made her mistrustful to the point of paranoia.

"Flattery will get you nowhere with me, girl," she bit back, falling on acerbity out of habit. Unfortunately for her, or rather fortunately as time would prove, her new acquaintance was not afraid of a surly witch. Even if said surly witch was the most powerful alive at the time.

Smile turning smug, the girl cocked a hip to the side and her jade eyes danced with mischief that was heavily laced by arousal. "Won't it, though?" she taunted, nostrils flaring as she inhaled deeply and closed her eyes to savor the aroma she took in. "There's no need to play hard to get when I can already smell your interest."

Half-incensed and half-intrigued, Elaine straightened in her chair and sucked in a breath through her teeth. The part of her that was innately curious about the world at large wondered how the brunette could have possibly detected what she'd implied she did. Magic had to be behind it. But what type? Intrigue nearly won out before the caustic side of her battered it down. However fascinating the little tart was, she had never received so lewd a comment before, and could not abide such an offense, especially from someone she'd just met.

"If I were you, I'd select my words more carefully," she warned in a tone of voice she used to strike fear in the hearts of her countless victims. "You're entering a dangerous game that can't be won. Don't fool yourself into thinking you will come out of this unscathed. Many have played and all before you have met ruin."

"It's too late for that," the girl had said, still unbothered by the clear and present danger she was in. "I entered said game the moment I approached you. I must say, though, I am honored to be a participant despite your fair warning. It's not every day an infamous individual such as the mysterious Le Fécreuse deigns to patronize my little establishment."

Elaine felt a chill run down her spine at being so casually recognized. In her travels, she took great pains to conceal her identity. None had ever seen her face and lived to tell the tale. Yet the simply dressed woman working a painfully mundane and occasionally degrading job had ferreted out the truth with alarming ease.

Before she could visibly react, the girl extended her hand. "My name is Eleni, by the way. The least I could do is introduce myself after so unceremoniously outing you – and privately enough that none could possibly have heard I might emphasize. You know...just in case you are thinking of roasting me alive and eating me for dinner." Eyes twinkling, she added, "But if I may be so bold and if you're inclined, we could skip the roasting part altogether and just get right to the eating."

Leaning forward with a threatening scowl to hide her blush at the crass euphemism, Elaine batted the proffered hand away. "How do you know who I am?"

"I have my ways," said Eleni, smiling mysteriously. Some strange emotion passed through her then which turned her warmly inviting features into something that might pass as sinister to anyone else. Upon nibbling at her prominent lower lip, her eyes glinted gold, but not in the way of those who practiced magic. This was a different brand of sorcery, a wilder more primordial strain that bellowed an irresistible tune that Elaine, even in her current mood, could not resist.

She tilted her head in unveiled fascination. "Now I am definitely intrigued." She gestured toward the chair opposite her. "Won't you sit for a moment? This infamous individual, if that indeed is who I am, has just suddenly developed a tolerance for companionship. If," she clarified with narrowed eyelids, "said companion happens to be some form of magical creature heretofore unknown to modern scholars."

"Said companion may or may not be such a creature." Eleni cocked a hip to the side, and her green eyes danced playfully. That alluring grin of hers was firmly in place, setting a not at all unpleasant sensation off in Elaine's chest. "I'm free of obligation in half an hour, if it pleases the lady to wait that long for a chance to assuage her curiosity..."

Elaine didn't want to seem overeager, so she sat back and crossed her arms over her chest as she hummed noncommitally. "I suppose you'll just have to return in half an hour to find out."

Eleni's smile only grew wider, as if she knew at a glance that Elaine had taken the bait and all that was left for her to do was give the rod a good yank to inextricably hook her. With her impossibly bright green eyes twinkling, she curtsied deeply. "I'll see you in half an hour then," she said, tone full of cheek, and then disappeared into the crowd.


Torn out of the memory, Regina gasped. She felt such a strong sense of déjà vu that she could not ignore what she had seen. The whole scene had played out with eerie similarity to the day she'd gone to the diner to drown her sorrows over losing Robin with a large chocolate milkshake. The last thing she'd expected was to make a friend of Snow's best buddy. And yet before she left the Diner for home, she'd not only done just that but had also unknowingly been set upon a path that would lead her to True Love. The only difference between the events of the recent and distant past was what had come of the night. When Regina left Granny's, she'd gone home alone whereas Elaine had not.

True to word, Eleni returned after finishing up her obligations, smile still in place and eyes still dancing with invitation. During the subsequent conversation, Elaine had learned that her intriguing maiden was a creature unheard of in all of Albion: a woman who could turn into a wolf at will except during the full moon when the call became compulsory. That they were both beings of magic languishing in an increasingly prosaic world proved a common thread that fully dismantled what remained of a heart-scarred witch's previously impenetrable defenses.

That night she went home with Eleni, in the process ignoring every instinct inside her that was screaming to run away. But Eleni wielded a power over her that was simply irresistible, and she found in the coming weeks, months, and years, that saying no to the girl was impossible. Once inside Eleni's cozy little cottage, nature took its course, and lips were soon warring for dominance as clothes were shed haphazardly in a rush to reach the poor excuse for a bed the girl slept upon. Haughty assessment of her lover's furnishings aside, she slept like the dead afterward, and upon waking the next morning felt sore, sated, and more alive than she ever had.

At first, she refused to allow anything beyond a purely physical connection. Sex was a wonderful distraction from one's woes until emotions got involved. Things got messy after that. Or at least that is what she had believed as Elaine until Eleni came along and destroyed every flawed concept of romance that she'd harbored. In time, biweekly trysts blossomed into something unique and profound, a love so deep and abiding that it lead to the conceiving of a child via True Love.

Another common thread. Just as in the present, back then she hadn't known the cost incurred by that miracle of all miracles. But unlike what happened with their modern selves, there was no escaping the callous hands of fate and magic. When she'd consulted the Triple Goddess about what must be exchanged for the creation of life and discovered the horrible truth, she knew what she had to do. The deal she made with her ancient benefactor would spare the life of her lover and their child at the cost of her own.

What memories Regina retained of her time in Avalon between her death in that time and her reemergence in her current persona spanned less than two decades. During that spiritual convalescence, she watched over her family, fretting endlessly over the grief that ever-haunted Eleni and aching at her absence at so many key events in the life of their child. When Eleni died not long after their daughter passed her eighteenth winter, she was there to welcome her mate into the afterlife. Once reunited, they were put into a state of stasis, taking them out of the natural cycle of the world. A thousand years passed by during which they slept in ignorant bliss, only to be reborn as the women they now were.

Somehow, despite countless obstacles and mistakes and tragedies, they had found their way back to one another in their new physical shells. And now they were whole once more, two halves of the same coin reunited at last. It felt exhilarating as well as daunting. The weight of history on top of the present was exceedingly cumbersome.

As the memories spiraled uncontrollably through her mind, Regina cried out for her other half. As if beckoned by the call, Ruby appeared in her mind's eye, and when she caught sight of Regina, she stretched out her arm, hand open for the taking, an angelic smile upon beatific features. Heart filled to overflowing with so much love that she could barely contain it, Regina took her wife's hand.

Upon their skin contacting, an explosion of white magic ripped apart the ephemeral plane they were inhabiting so that it crumpled up like a piece of paper which then vanished into nothingness. Alone together in the vacuum between worlds, they hovered as if unbound yet somehow anchored to each another and to the strings of existence by the inescapable gravity of their love.

"I remember everything," Ruby said, wide-eyed and breathless with awe.

Regina smiled with untold adoration for the woman she had a brand-new appreciation for, a woman she had loved for more than one lifetime. Reconciling both of her selves was nigh on impossible without adequate opportunity for reflection, but acceptance was not very difficult to muster when the concept of being reincarnated was underpinned by the innate connection she shared with her True Love. A thousand lifetimes could war in her mind for dominance so long as Ruby was by her side to help her make sense of them.

"I remember, too," she then said, recalling a particularly vivid memory of speaking her last words as Elaine. "I told you I would wait for you."

Ruby's countenance soured at that. "Yes, you did. But you didn't stick around long enough to hear me say I wouldn't make you wait long." Her displeasure was not unexpected. Regina's death as Elaine was neither swift nor peaceful.

At the same time, though, Regina had righteous indignation of her own to wield at her eternal mate. "And I'll have you know that I'm still angry at you for giving up," she said, thinking of her time in Avalon and how she'd watched, disembodied and helplessly bereft, left to languish in a constant state of agony as Ruby – Eleni, rather – suffered silently while raising their child without her. Brows furrowing, she folded her arms over her chest. "Our daughter was barely grown and moved away before you grieved yourself to death. And I had a front row seat to the show. There were times I felt as if I were dying all over again, only it was so much worse because it was actually happening to you. I'd rather die a thousand deaths than watch you perish even once, but I didn't have a choice! I couldn't escape, couldn't turn away from your protracted demise. My love for you bound me in torturous fixation."

The thought of that time made Regina shudder from head to toe. It had been a fresh form of hell to watch her True Love wither away into a pathetic shell of a human being who had lost all interest in her own welfare. She all but stopped eating, barely slept, and paid no heed to the dangers of the wild as she wandered aimlessly through the forests of Albion. Even Merlin, the greatest wizard to ever live and the same man who had doted on Eleni from a baby, could not aid the heart-sickness that took hold. Desperate, plaintive cries and god-awful shrieks produced by endless nightmares were the lullaby sung to Regina each night – even in Avalon the connection their souls shared prevented her from avoiding them for even for a moment.

For eight interminable months the misery continued, the last three weeks of which were so harrowing Regina wouldn't have wished such suffering upon Snow White at the very height of her madness. It had felt like an enormous gift of mercy when Eleni finally passed away.

Ever the stubborn pup, Ruby shrugged off the chastisement dismissively. "What can I say?" she huffed, matching Regina's defensive posture. "Save for Alexis, life without you was intolerable. Once she married and made a life of her own, she no longer needed me. No one needed me anymore. But I needed you, and you were gone. Without a purpose to focus on, all I could think about was how much I loved you and how much I missed you. I mourned for you every single day for eighteen years, Regina, and I just wanted it to be over so we could be together again. You're the other half of my soul. I'm fortunate to have made it as long I did."

Even were she not swayed by the tragically beautiful truth of that proclamation, Regina could not remain severe when confronted by Ruby's pouting. It was a weapon of manipulation to which she was forever vulnerable, no matter what name she was called by and even if it wasn't being used purposefully. But Ruby's reasoning had also struck a harmonic chord that echoed back to when she lost Daniel and again to when Ruby fell victim to the insanity of Joshua Woods.

If she were being honest with herself, had she not been able to resuscitate Ruby that day, there was no telling what she might have done after Sophia, the child that would have survived in her womb, was grown. Loathe as she was to admit it, suicide was an option she had seriously contemplated in the past, and now that she knew it was possible to literally grieve to death, she could not deny she might have done the same as Ruby did as Eleni.

Heaving a sigh, Regina relaxed her stiffened limbs and approached her taller spouse, reaching out to rub at taut arms that were indignantly crossed. "Well, we're together now. Again." She smiled gently at the last bit, hoping to improve both of their moods from the currently morbid subject matter. The gambit worked, and her smile widened when Ruby's lips quirked up.

Ruby then hummed, green eyes recovering their liveliness. She shuffled forward into Regina's embrace until they were flush from head to toe. "Good thing, too. One lifetime was not enough for me. Two won't be either. I need forever this time. I can't live through losing you again."

While sympathetic to Ruby's feelings based on their former life, Regina had, as previously mentioned, almost lived through the very same thing in this life. Perhaps, she thought, should Ruby someday recover the memories of that event, it would lend her more impetuous spouse some perspective; and if not, then at least Ruby would understand what it was like to be rendered helpless to save the person she loved more than life itself. There was a reason Regina had, as Ruby would put it, lost her shit and went medieval on Joshua Woods' pathetic ass.

Thoughts of Joshua Woods, however, linked back to the person who was ultimately responsible for his brief reign of terror, which in turn reminded her of the present dire situation. "I want forever just as you do," she said. "But we can't have it at the expense of our friends and family. They are all still in danger back in Storybrooke. We must return to finish the battle with Belmordan before it's too late."

At the mention of Belmordan, Ruby stiffened. Clearly, she was having issues reconciling herself to the reality that not only was he her ancestor but also, in a form, her direct parent. Belmordan had not sired the body Ruby now inhabited, but he had given life to her spiritual essence, which for all intents and purposes made him her father. Regina could not fathom how difficult that was to process on top of everything else she and Ruby had gone through.

Ruby heaved out a heavy sigh as she leaned further into Regina. Her eyes were almost imploring for reassurance as she said, "You're right. We have to face him. I just...after all he's done, how can I do that knowing we will probably have to kill him? He's my father." She winced, averting her eyes to take a shaky breath. "I mean, not only do I have one monster of a father now, but two, and even though I know how insane Belmordan is..." Trailing off, she sucked her bottom lip between her teeth, eyes pooling with unshed tears.

"Hey." Regina tipped Ruby's chin around to meet haunted eyes. "Evil he may be, but he's still your father. If anyone can sympathize with your position, it's me." Ruby nodded gratefully at the mention of Regina's own complicated relationship with her villainous parent. "As you know, I hated Snow for taking my mother away from me, but now I realize that while the circumstances may have been different had events played out otherwise, my mother's doom was inevitable. No matter what she said, no matter how fervently she promised I would have been enough, heart or no heart, she was always going to meet a violent end. Some people can't be saved, sweetheart, even when we try our very best to rescue them."

"In my head, I hear you," Ruby replied around a shaky breath. "My heart is another story."

Her own heart aching for her sensitive wife, Regina cupped Ruby's cheek with one hand and soothed her back with the other. She then deposited a brief but intensely intimate kiss upon those all-too-kissable lips.

"I'm sorry," she said after withdrawing. She replaced her lips with her thumb to rub tenderly across Ruby's full lower lip. "I don't envy what's being asked of you, and I wish more than anything that we had another choice. But we don't. We have to stop him. Whatever it takes."

Ruby gave her a sad nod before her eyes turned hopeful. "As long as we do it together."

"That was never in doubt, my love," Regina said, and with that, she leaned forward to join their lips once more.

The familiar tingle in her extremities and the surge of both affection and desire that accompanied every kiss with Ruby almost instantly flared to life, enveloping Regina in a cocoon of warmth that washed all extraneous thoughts away. As she lost herself in the embrace, a burst of magic emanated from somewhere between them. In the blink of an eye, they were back in the cavern, tethered once more to their physical bodies.

Regina came to herself still holding Ruby in her arms, just as she'd been before her previous life was unexpectedly restored to her memory. What exactly had transpired to produce the anomaly, she couldn't say except to speculate. They had been transported to some ethereal plane without solid material form, but she wasn't even sure it was a real place. Maybe it had been a spiritual projection or some otherwise esoteric magical phenomenon. Whatever the case, now was not an appropriate time to conduct a detailed analysis. There would be occasion for that when the world wasn't in danger of falling prey to madman.

Ruby's gasp abruptly wrenched Regina's attention from her thoughts. "Diana really wasn't lying," Ruby said as she pulled away to look Regina dead on, amazement making her eyes sparkle as if backlit by a billion glittering diamonds. "I still remember everything from before."

Regina beamed back at her. Ignoring their present surroundings, she kissed Ruby's forehead, whispering against sweat-dampened skin, "Me, too, amada. Me, too."

But before Ruby could say anything else, a movement from behind them caught their attention, and they both swirled to see Artemis approaching. Hands held up, the goddess' amber eyes were laden with turbulent emotions as she took one tentative step forward at a time.

"My child, is it really you?"

Ruby's eyes welled with tears. "It's me, Mama," she replied, then wrenched free of Regina's grasp to launch herself into her mother's receptive arms.

Though Regina remained ever aware of Belmordan's looming proximity, she was unable to suppress the feeling of gratitude at being given the privilege of witnessing the beautiful reunion between a mother and daughter who had endured so much adversity to reach this moment. She could feel Ruby's unbounded excitement through their link, tempered by a dreadful anxiety that was almost certainly related to Anita. That reunion hadn't ended so well.

Regina hoped against all logic that this time Ruby's mother would not fail her. That Artemis would make better choices than her descendant doppelganger had, if only for Ruby's sake. She'd lost so much already – too much, really – and deserved a break from playing one of fate's favorite punching bags.

How many loved ones did Ruby have to bury before it was enough? Dealing with what happened to Granny was going to be a nightmare of epic proportions, both literally and figuratively, but if Artemis could be saved, if some goodness within the Olympian could be salvaged and they all emerged from this disaster alive if not unscathed, perhaps Granny's death could be blunted by the presence of a mother who appeared to be at least partially driven by love for her child.

Counting on Artemis to do the right thing was a fool's hope, she knew, but absent a viable means by which to defeat Belmordan, what other choice did she have? No one in the square had any idea where they were. Emma was trapped and unable to get free of Belmordan's shield. Ruby was far too weakened to present a credible threat. And Regina herself was clearly no match for a sorcerer whose powers rivaled those of the gods. Therefore hope was her only resort.

If only she'd known how cruelly it was about to be dashed...