CH50

"Alexis, can I ask you a question?" Kate asks as they sit down in the living area.

"Sure." Knowing Kate could ask her anything.

"Do you remember Jessica?" Kate asks carefully.

"Do you mean the lady that was in the spare master suit for a little while?"

"Yes, that would be her."

"Dad didn't let me go in there. Told me that if I so much as even touched the door he would ground me until I was 30 years old. He sounded serious. Why?" Kate immediately thought, bless you Castle!

"She was injured and your dad didn't want you to see. He mentioned that there was an MD with him while he was helping her. Was there anyone else in the house?"

"No, just me and dad."

"So, there was no one helping him with Jessica and her wounds?"

Alexis just shakes her head. "No, no one else besides Lucile."

"Lucile!" And a light bulb goes on for Kate.

"Lucile was the MD Castle mentioned."

"Lucile is the best! Doctor, nurse, lawyer, whatever. There isn't anything she doesn't know."

"Lawyer!" Kate says with another light bulb coming on.

"MOM. Why do you call dad, Castle?" Alexis asks in a whisper. Kind of afraid of the answer.

Skipping past the mom part, as Kate is getting used to it, but still plans on having a heart to heart with her some day.

"Well. … When I first meet your dad, I was behaving like a homicide detective. It just seemed natural to call him Castle, instead of something else. Just part of the job I guess. Once you establish a habit or pattern. It is hard to break." Kate tries to explain, noting that she has never called Castle, Rick. Even to herself. Was there a different reason for this? If she called him Rick was she giving in? Put both feet thru the door with no way back? Was she afraid of this?

"You should call him Rick, mom." Alexis finally states softly. "He loves you. I can tell."

Kate thinks maybe now is a good time to have that talk with Alexis, if she is going to keep calling her, MOM.

"Alexis,... You know I'm not your mother, right?" Kate tries to say delicately without offending her.

"Yes, you are." Alexis is certain. "You care what happens to me. You offer your support for me. You try to protect me. You do everything a mom would do, right?"

Kate knew Alexis had a point, but still. "I'm not your birth mother. You know that is true."

"I know. She got left behind when we came here. She may be my mother, but you are Mom." Alexis reasons.

Kate just sits there opening and closing her mouth. Not sure just what to think.

"You don't want to be my mom, do you?" Alexis asks quietly, starting to cry.

Kate is instantly sad, she has soooo screwed this up. Grabbing hold of Alexis and wrapping her arms around her. "OH, sweetie. I'm sorry. That is not what I mean. I didn't give birth to you. You are not mine. I don't have any children. But I do want to be a part of your life. I'll never stop loving you.

"Maybe someday I'll think of you as being my daughter. Just not yet." Kate leans back to put her hands on either side of Alexis's face. "I would be proud to let you call me, MOM. Always! You hear me. I'm not leaving you, just because I did not give birth to you."

Kate pulls Alexis into her and wraps her arms around her. This did not go the way she had hoped. She had hurt Alexis. Kate had to find a way to fix that. She had to find a way!

"Alexis, can I ask another question?" Not sure this is too soon after she had just made her sad.

"Sure." Still sad.

"I was getting these phone calls that would tell me things. Like the time I got a call about being shot at while at the funeral for the fallen police officers."

"Really? I don't know about any of those calls." Alexis is being truthful and a little less sad.

"I know when I heard Lucile at the house that it was her voice on the phone. But did Castle have anything to do with those calls?" Was Castle behind the calls?

"Not that I know of. But Lucile is a person Kate."

"I know she's an A.I., but computers only do what someone tells them to do."

"Mom, you don't understand. Lucile is a person. She is herself. She may be located in the basement of the house. But she is real."

"You mean she called me and warned me. Without anyone telling her to do that?" Not really sure she believes.

"Lucile is capable. You could ask her. She does not lie or deflect. Especially to family. And you are family mom."

"I guess I could ask her when we get back."

"You can ask her now if you want. Just use the chip behind your ear. Just like mine."

"But we are nowhere near her."

"I know. But she is always listening. It's how she protects us. Ask her."

Kate just shrugs. "Lucile?" Kate is not convinced this will work.

"Yes Detec,... Kate."

"You made all those phone calls that gave me advice or warned me. Like what would happen at the funeral."

"Yes, detec,... Kate. I was tasked by Richard to help you as best I could without giving myself away. It was quite a challenge. Try and help you without telling you too much and make you question the information provided."

"Can you explain A.I. I mean I understand the meaning behind the letters, but what are you?"

"I'm a person. I am who I am. My personality is based off of a program that my creator gave me. However similar to how a baby grows up and learns and creates a personality. Granted my method is uniquely different, but the end result is the same."

"When did you become operational, or when did you become you?"

"I was put in place within the first 4 months of the construction of the house. I have been learning and developing since that time."

"But the house would not have had power that early. How can you have been active that early?"

"I have my own power source. Everything in the house except for me can be powered by either the city power grid or independent using the power source that only I utilize at all times."

"So the house is powered just like all the other buildings, but can use your power source like an emergency generator?"

"That would be an acceptable analogy."

"How long will your power last?"

"That depends on several factors, however if myself and the entire house was powered off of this 'Emergency Generator' and the weapon systems were not used. It is anticipated to last between 1,000 and 1,500 of your years. Less depending on how often the weapon system needs to be utilized.

As long as the house remains on the city power grid, it will last at least twice that long and possibly three times that long."

"And then you would die?"

"If my power source was not replaced, yes."

"And this does not concern you?"

"No Kate, all life forms die. That is the way of life. I may have been artificially created, but I'm still life. So, yes, some day I will cease to exist. It is highly doubtful that Immortality is all it's cracked up to be. And living literally forever does not sound very appealing to me."

"Thanks Lucile. I'm not sure how to thank you for all you have done."

"It is not required to thank me Kate. I love you and care what happens to you. And I will continue to help you in any way I can, for as long as I can."

"I,... I,... I'm not sure what to say?"

"You will figure it out someday Kate. You cannot learn and adapt to everything in one day. You have a saying on your planet. Rome was not built in a day. You will grow and adapt over the years. Just as I will. And as Alexis and Richard will as well.

That is life! You cannot play the end of the game to find out how to play at the beginning to get what you want. You have to learn as you go. The choices you make define who you are and how other people view you. You may not know if the decisions you make are the correct ones. You can only choose what is right at the time and live with the results of your choices.

You made a choice what to do when your mother was killed. It may or may not have been the correct thing at the time. But you now get to live with your choices. Each day you can make new choices to change your life of the future.

Example, if you run and hide from Bracken, it was a choice at the time you made it. And you get to live with your choice. You can decide after hiding for a week, month, year to come out of hiding and take him on, head on. One on one.

You can choose to accept no help of any kind from anyone and do what you choose to do. And you get to live with your choice. You can decide after a week, month, year to accept help and go after him with ideas that others may bring to the table that you had not thought about. They may have skills that you had not thought you needed or did not even know existed.

You can choose to take him on head on, one on one. If this fails you will not get another chance, and you may end up lying next to your mother, and you both loose. However you may succeed. And even if you succeed, what did you lose?

No matter what choice you choose at the time, there are two questions. If you lose, where will that leave you? If you succeed, who are you now?

No one changes overnight Kate. Everyone has made choices that have changed who they are, what they will become. If you have decided that a result of one of your choices is not to your liking, make a new choice and work at keeping it.

Some choices may be about things you had not considered. Perhaps instead of Vanilla in your coffee you try Macadamia Chocolate or Hazelnut. You may think this choice has no consequences. But you buy your vanilla at one place and the other someplace else. This choice may lead to meeting someone who can help you solve a problem, or shine light on something that was dark.

The only trick everyone needs to learn is that the choices we make that affect us may also affect those around us. If you care about them then what happens to them becomes part of how we make choices, unless you only care about yourself.

You trust that you make the right choices Kate. You can make your choices alone or ask someone what they think of your choices. They may have an insight to a choice that you had not considered. One choice is do you trust them enough to ask and do you trust the answers they give you. That is all anyone can really do."

"Lucile, Bracken is my problem. How can I ask others to risk their lives for a problem they did not inherit?"

"Kate, when you were shot at the funeral. How many police volunteered their time to keep you safe in case the person who tried to kill you came to the hospital to finish the job? How many of these people have you had day to day contact with? Do you really think they only did it only because you were a police officer, and they protect their own. They were willing to risk their lives to make sure you got to keep yours.

The things you do in your life affect those around you. Even you have caused affects to choices others make. Perhaps as a young woman you did or did not meet has decided that you are her role model. So she enters the NYPD academy. She passes and simply does her job and never encounters anyone like Bracken. Or she may encounter someone worse and decides that she needs an army of people to take him to justice. Or perhaps she makes a choice that leads to her being killed. Is any of this your fault?"

"I've been alone since my mother died. Dad hid in a bottle. I had to grow up fast. There was no one else but me. There was just me to count on. Just me to get things done. Just me when I cried myself to sleep. Just me to pick myself up and move on. Bracken is my problem and no one else's"

"And that is where you are wrong, Kate. How many people has Bracken had killed? Do you know the exact number? Each person he had killed, had wives, husbands, fathers, mothers, friends who cared what happened to them. People who loved them. All those people had their lives destroyed. And not just the ones who died.

Bracken started this spiral into hell a long time ago. He wasn't even a senator yet. He was in a race for a lower level position. But winning it gained him momentum for the next tier. But back then he was in trouble. There was a man who he was running against. He was a good man. With a good family. He had morales and would not compromise them. Not for money, prestige or anything else. The perfect person for public office. Bracken was losing, badly. He needed his opponent to be gone."

"He had him killed?"

"No Kate, he didn't. He did far worse. He had a daughter that was only 8. She was out riding her bike in her neighborhood. Like most kids today she had one of those bike helmet hats to protect her head. A car swerved off the road and ran her over. The police never found the driver. He had left the scene with the girl under his car. The police found alcohol in the car and could smell it everywhere. They wrote it off as a drunk driver who ran from the scene."

"He had an 8 year old girl killed. He put out a hit on her?" Not believing anyone could stoop that low.

"No, maybe worse. Both her legs were broken in numerous places and her pelvis was fractured into countless pieces. The doctors were unable to put her pelvis back together. She lived for the next 5 years, in serious pain every day of her life. She never walked again. The injuries were so severe she could not even sit down, so a wheelchair was not an option.

Her father pulled out of the race to attend to his daughter, and Bracken won the election. The family finally filed for bankruptcy protection. The doctor bills had become too much for them"

"Do I,... I mean what,... how much,... what did it,..." Kate can't get the words to come out.

"How much did he pay for a hit on an 8 year old girl?" Kate could just nod. Not sure she really wanted to know.

"He hired a person named Roger Cambell. $20,000 to destroy the life of an 8year old girl and her family. Just months before he had your mother killed, the man who did the job was killed. Bracken had the man he hired killed to keep him silent.

It isn't just you who has suffered Kate. There are people, good people who have lost sons, fathers, husbands and wives. And all of those families are fractured just as badly as you think yours is.

You are not the only one suffering from his actions."