Carolyn whistled to herself as she made yet another lasagna for Derek's freezer. She was glad to have some work to do. After filling Meredith's freezer with home-cooked meals, she had bought Meredith a freezer for her garage and stocked it full of food, and she had filled it with more home-cooked meals. Now she was working on the freezer at Derek's apartment. It felt weird being all day. Today was the first day that she was in Seattle and unable to spend any time at all with Chrissy. She thought for a moment and realized that the last time one small child had so occupied her time had been when Kathy, her first child, was born. After Nancy was born, she always had two or more children to occupy her, at least until Lizzie had gone to college and left Amy at home. But by then Amy was a teen, not a child. And then her first grandchildren had been twins, so she had always had two or more young grandchildren to care for, at least within the same week or two. She was so lucky that her three oldest girls lived so close that she could easily spend time with all their children in the course of just one week.

Now her life had changed. Instead of having fifteen grandchildren within a half hour of her home, she had twelve within half an hour of her home, three grandchildren in college, and one 3,000 miles away in Seattle. Carolyn smiled and thought that maybe some day she would have more grandchildren in Seattle. And then she thought about her youngest and wondered if Amy would ever find the right man and have a child.

Coming to Seattle had definitely been the right thing to do. She had really enjoyed spending so much time with Chrissy and with Derek. She hadn't spent so much time with Derek since he went to medical school, and even then she had to share him with her other children.

Carolyn remembered Derek calling her and sending the photo of him and Chrissy. She had been shocked. She had known enough to focus on comforting Derek during the call, but then she had been stunned and hadn't known quite what to do. She was glad that she gone to church the next morning. She thought of her conversation with Father Anthony.

"Carolyn Shepherd, I've never seen you at a loss for words. You're here every morning to pray, and you usually leave after the service. You clearly have something to say to me."

Carolyn looked at him.

"I can take confession, if you want," the priest said with a smile.

"No, I just don't know what to say."

"I'm a priest. I've heard everything. I've even had murderers confess to me. You can tell me anything."

She showed him the photo that she had downloaded and printed. She was glad her grandsons had taught her how to use a computer and a printer.

"Derek's looking good, but I imagine that it's the girl you want to talk about."

Carolyn nodded.

"Looks like she sick."

Carolyn nodded again. "Yes, the bald head gives it away. She has cancer, leukemia. I said I would ask you to have the congregation pray for her."

"I will. Can you give me her name?"

"Chrissy."

"How does Derek know her?"

"That's what I wanted to talk to you about, Father. Derek's her father. Her full name is Christine Grey Shepherd."

Carolyn looked at the priest. He met her eyes and didn't blink.

"Well, Carolyn, you always told me that you were looking forward to having Shepherd grandchildren. You have so many grandchildren from your daughters, but you still wanted some from Derek."

"Yes, but I expected him to be married to the mother of his children," Carolyn said ruefully. She had expected Addison to give her grandchildren, and she had been disappointed the grandchildren did not materialize. She hoped that she had hidden her disappointment from both Addison and Derek, but she couldn't help but wonder if they both knew she had been disappointed.

"Many children are born out of wedlock, you know."

"I know. I'm a nurse. But I never expected it from Derek. Mark, yes, I would have expected Mark to have one or even several. But Derek was always a good boy. He always tried to do the right thing."

"From this photo, it looks to me that he is doing the right thing. He is with his daughter in her time of need."

"I know. It's just I feel ashamed. And I told him I'd ask the parish to pray for her."

"Well, everyone can pray for her without knowing she's Derek's daughter."

"No, they need to know. People are more likely to pray if they feel a personal connection. And everyone knows Derek."

"Is Derek ashamed?"

Carolyn thought for a minute. "I don't think he is. The mother is the woman Nancy calls the slutty intern. Derek had an affair with her after he moved to Seattle."

"Carolyn, as I recall, Derek left after finding out that his wife had an affair with Mark."

"Yes, that's right. But I always told Derek that two wrongs don't make a right."

"Carolyn, Derek's sin is between him and God. His daughter is not a sin; she's a person, a child of God."

"I know that, Father."

"So what are you going to do?"

"Well, I've asked you to have the congregation pray for her."

"And what do you intend to do yourself?"

"That's a good question. If she lived here, I'd be at the hospital helping."

"You can do that in Seattle, you know."

"But I help my girls out with childcare almost every day.'

"Carolyn, you're a very devoted grandmother. Few grandmothers provide 24/7 childcare to their children, 365 days a year. I know you've often slept over, given your children opportunities for vacations. But I think it's Derek's turn to benefit from your help. I seem to recall that you told me that the girls had in-laws who were willing to help."

"Sometimes."

"And then there are paid caregivers."

"They're all doctors, so they can afford to pay for babysitters and nannies, that's true. And they all have some older children who can help. And their husbands can help, too. I told Derek I wanted to visit, but he didn't invite me."

"Carolyn, do you always wait for your children to ask to help?"

"No. You're right. I know Derek needs my help. And Chrissy needs me. And I imagine that her mother needs me, too."

"I'm sure that's right. I know that it is very painful for mothers when a young child is seriously ill."

"I've been very lucky with all my children and grandchildren. Until now, they've all been healthy."

"That is a great good fortune."

"And I think Derek loves the girl's mother."

"Well, you know how to be a good mother-in-law."

"It's different to be a mother-in-law to your daughter's husbands than your son's wife."

"And you know that."

Carolyn laughed. "I guess I do." Her mother-in-law had intimidated her for the first few years of her marriage, but thankfully she then moved in with her daughter in Boston, so Carolyn only had to deal with her on holidays and occasional visits. "But I always vowed to be a good mother-in-law. I tried to be kind to Addison. I didn't meddle in their marriage although maybe I should have. "

"Carolyn, right now you need to focus on your granddaughter. Focus on the present and the future, not the past."

Her phone rang. She was pleased to see it was from her eldest granddaughter. "Hi, Janie, so great to hear from you."

"How are you doing, Grandma?"

"Busy. I'm making some dinners for Derek and Meredith. Right now, it's more lasagna."

"Grandma, I'm so jealous. I love your lasagna. It's so much better than dorm food."

Carolyn laughed. "I'm sure of that. I'm proud of my lasagna."

"You'll have to teach me how to make it, Grandma."

"I will."

"You should write down your recipes, or better yet use your phone to record a video of you making the recipes. That way we'll always have them."

"Janie, how old do you think I am? I'm going to be here a long time. I plan on seeing your children grown."

"Grandma, maybe I won't have any children."

"That's what your Mom said, and now she has five of her own."

"I might be different."

Carolyn laughed. "Maybe. Maybe not. I'll just have to see for myself, dear. Now why did you call?"

"Well, you remember my friend Nancy?"

Carolyn thought for a moment. "The girl scout? She was always trying to get me to buy her cookies."

"And you told her you only ate homemade cookies."

"But I always bought a half dozen boxes of cookies and donated them to the food bank."

"I know. You always supported my friends."

"So Nancy?" Carolyn asked.

"Well, her brother's best friend had leukemia, like Chrissy, and she told me that the bone marrow transplant day can be celebrated like a birthday. So I was wondering if Uncle Derek was planning on doing something for Chrissy when she gets her bone marrow transplant."

"And how is his friend doing?"

"Well. It's been three years since the transplant, and he's doing great."

"That's wonderful." Carolyn loved hearing stories of successful bone marrow transplants. Unfortunately, her neighbor Maureen Robinson had died within a couple of months of a bone marrow transplant. It had happened ten years ago, and Carolyn hoped that there'd been improvements in survival rates over the last ten years, but she knew that bone marrow transplants were risky.

"So, what about something for Chrissy?"

"I don't know. Izzie, Meredith's friend, suggested celebrating the bone marrow day like a second birthday, and Meredith said no. Chrissy was hospitalized right before her third birthday, so she spent her birthday in the hospital, and she didn't like it. She had been looking forward to a birthday party with her friends, and she hasn't seen any of her friends since before she went to the hospital."

"We don't have to make it a birthday. It could just be bone marrow transplant day."

"Well, I don't think Meredith would want any presents for Chrissy. She thinks we've been spoiling her."

"I just sent her some art supplies."

"And your mother and aunts got her a swing set, Derek got her a big TV, a pile of movies, and an aquarium, and your mother and aunts have sent boxes of clothes and toys."

"Mostly hand-me-downs."

"Chrissy's three. She doesn't see a difference between a new toy and a hand-me-down. The hand-me–down is still new to her."

"I wasn't thinking of buying gifts. I'm taking an animation class. I was thinking of making an animation for her."

"Don't you have a lot of school work? Do you have time to do something like that in a week?"

"Actually, Grandma, my homework is to do an animation, so I would be doing both my homework and a present for Chrissy at the same time."

"You're a clever girl, Janie."

"Yes, and we could just make a special Shepherd cousin event – only hand-made presents. The others could do videos."

"That might work. But you should call Meredith and ask her. I think it would be hard for her to turn you down. Let me give you her cell phone number." Carolyn gave her the number.

"Okay, Grandma. And Mom said you're coming home for a bit."

"Yes, after the bone marrow transplant on Wednesday, I'm going to come home for about a month. Chrissy's going to be in isolation, so there will be little for me to do. And I need to spend some time at home."

"And all your other grandchildren miss you. Do you think you could come and spend a day visiting me? RISD has a great museum. I think you'd like it."

Carolyn smiled. "Do you think I could just go visit RISD?"

"Well, Grandma, you might have to spend a day in Cambridge visiting the boys. And maybe you could see Uncle Mark. His fiancée Lexie is very nice."

"I know. She came to visit Chrissy."

"Yes, it's so weird. She's Chrissy's aunt. She got to meet Chrissy before any of us."

"You've gotten to know Chrissy via skype."

"I know, but it's not the same as being in person."

"Well, you should get to meet her before too long."

"I hope so, Grandma. I love you. I hope to see you soon."