Chapter 53: Father's Portrait
Heath stayed out way past the time he knew his family would retire for bed. He made sure to tell Silas to not wait for him for supper or dinner. Whatever the Barkley's called it. Heath wasn't about to hear all of the family celebrating and congratulating Audra on having such a perfect man for her fiancé. After all, Scott Breckenridge was extremely wealthy. He was also highly educated. His speaking showed as much. Jarrod had taken to the man as an equal in intelligence. Heath could never match up to that to any woman. No less someone as fine as Audra.
Scott Breckenridge could offer Audra the world. All Heath could offer her was an illegal marriage and part ownership in a ranch, which she already owned. The marriage was real to him but perhaps it wasn't to Audra. Heath realized there wasn't a thing that he could give Audra Barkley but his love. Scott could give that as easily. However, Heath wondered if Scott could ever give as much love to Audra as he held himself. It seemed impossible. Heath would give up all even his name, which he took pride in, for Audra. Scott would never have to.
He wondered if Audra would reveal to Scott that she wasn't pure now. Heath hated that thought fleeted through his mind. After all, he was the man that took her innocence when she probably was feeling too vulnerable to think straight. Heath supposed the other times Audra and he had shared in intimacy was due to her feeling overwhelmed at the pleasure he could give her. She was a young woman who had never been with a man. She had barely kissed a man as far as the real kissing like Heath had given her. Heath knew he could make a woman desire and feel pleasure that would taunt them into submission. He'd done it before. He'd been with women since he was fourteen years old. Most of those women were older by at least five years. Prostitutes didn't harm a boy like his mama warned. Or did they? Heath wasn't so sure anymore.
Heath slid off Charger as he thought of all those women in his past. As he curried his horse, he couldn't help but allow the thoughts to continue. Not one woman, who he laid with, did he love. Liberty was close to innocent as Audra. However, at fifteen, Liberty had given herself to a rich young man promising her a future. He figured that was why it was so easy to give herself to Heath at sixteen. He cared for the girl but didn't really love her intensely like he did Audra. He thought he did. However, Heath realized his marriage proposal to Libby was more out of fearing never finding love due to his parentage. A few others played in his thoughts. He didn't remember the names of them all. The most fiery was Lupe. She was far from love. That was more of an adventure.
Heath didn't care to think of his first time with a woman. It was the first time he'd actually seen his demure mother fight as in physically. Heath remembered his Aunt Rachel hiding her giggling as his mother escorted him in the house. It was the only time Heath wasn't the one in the family wearing the black eye. Leah held her head high as she sported the swollen eye. Her only words to Rachel was a coy "You should see the way that Jezebel looks if you think I look bad."
His thoughts noted that he was also taught by that first woman how to make sure no baby was left behind. He had to admit, he was thankful for that lesson. He'd never leave a child fatherless as he had been. Even with Audra, he'd taken precautions taught to him. Heath shook his head out of those thoughts. Those thoughts cheapened what he felt when he made love to Audra the times he had. Those experiiences made him wonder if he'd be like his mother was over Tom Barkley. Would he ever be able to move on from loving Audra so deeply? Would he ever want to feel the softness of another woman again? Heath doubted he would.
Heath decided to go through the kitchen. As he expected, Silas had made sure Heath had some supper left for him when he came home. Although Heath didn't feel like eating, he still did knowing it would please Silas. He then washed his own dishes before heading to take a relaxing bath.
After the bath, he still couldn't sleep so he headed to the study. He figured cleaning a few rifles would help him settle down. Heath hated the feeling of jealousy. It was the most common feeling in the world to him. The least common was love for a woman such as he felt for Audra. That was once in a lifetime. He knew it.
He ached from the work he'd put in. He cursed himself for getting so angry that he'd worked his body into exhaustion. Heath spent a lot of time in this room. It was the room in the house Nick had dragged him to on the first night on the ranch. It was the room that his story was told of being Tom Barkley's bastard son. It was even the room in which the family had agreed to let him become a part of them.
Heath glanced up at his father's portrait staring ominously down at him. "Well, don't you feel better knowing that I won't be ruining that girl of yours anymore? I bet you shudder from heaven or quake from h##l knowing what goes on between the son, you didn't want, and the daughter, that wasn't yours but you wanted. Ain't it just a right injustice to us both on that account." Heath shook his head at his ranting. "I don't hate you, father. You didn't know about me. But I sure wish you and mama had let me in on this secret of yours. I'd have met Audra as a child. I'd have grown up as her brother. I'd never have fallen in love and hurt like I am now. I guess without trying, you hurt me more than most."
Heath sighed out as he went to pull out a gun from the rifle stock. He'd clean some guns then go to bed. Maybe it would relax him. He heard the door open expecting to see Victoria up to check on him. Sometimes, she did that. It was a mother thing. He knew that. His own mother did the same. Instead he saw Audra.
Her hair was loose across her shoulders. She didn't have one side slightly pinned as she usually did. Audra's hair wasn't even fixed as usual. Instead it hung in loose tendrils around her beautiful face. There was a slight wave to Audra's hair when it wasn't combed out. Audra wore a white robe made of satin material. Her fingers twisted in the binding rope that held the robe together.
"Where have you been, Heath?" Audra asked lightly. Heath couldn't help but swallow due to his desire for the woman before him. He noticed her face was flushed a pink color.
"Working some fence line." Heath answered as he placed the gun back in the gun cabinet.
Audra noted Heath wore his tight fitting undershirt. She couldn't help but appreciating his defined muscles rippled beneath it. "I missed you."
"At dinner?" Somehow Heath had managed to make his way towards her. He knew she was no longer his. But he wanted to touch her all the same. He allowed his hand to caress her cheek.
"No." Audra looked up from staring at Heath's well developed muscles to meet his eyes. "I mean.." She swallowed nervously. "I missed you." She paused again to lick her lips. "I missed us."
Heath moved closer until his body was pressing Audra's body against the closed doors of the study. "Did you wear this for me?"
His fingers slid across the satin of her robe causing Audra's body to heat up at his seductive touch. She held her breath slightly before allowing a slight whisper from her lips. "No. I wore what is underneath for you."
Heath quirked his lopsided smile as he took the belt of Audra's robe and untied it. He pushed the robe aside revealing the tight silk corset beneath over small panties that she was even embarrassed to put on. However, she did for him. He watched as she bit her lip waiting for his response. Then he glanced down Audra's body. She was surprised by his use of a curse word. It was a harsh word that came out in a low husky sound.
" #%%"
She knew Heath didn't mean it as an insult to her as a lady. Besides, she didn't want to be a lady tonight. She missed Heath's kissing and his body with hers. The word seemed rather perfect for how she wanted him to react.
Audra started to speak due to the thick silence that hung over them. Heath's eyes seemed to drink in her whole body in a thirst Audra had never seen before. It made her nervous but also tremble with anticipation. She stumbled over his name trying to regain her composure. "Heath."
He glanced back up to Audra's eyes. He needed her like he needed the air to breathe. His lips hungrily found her lips. Heath picked up Audra's body pressing her hard against the wooden doors. He swirled his hips into her causing the friction they both needed to feel. His tongue played against Audra's lips, which parted easily for him. He had taught the girl well when it came to the art of salacious kissing.
Audra's mind momentarily swam from right to wrong. Wrong winning out easily when she felt Heath's hands caress her over the silk material. But it no longer felt wrong because the marriage was real to her.
Audra was amazed at Heath's strength to hold her at his waist. Her arms wrapped around his neck helping to balance herself. However, Heath unhooked her arms then his other hand pushed both arms above her head as he wrapped his large hand around her wrists joining them in a pose of surrender.
Audra moaned disappointedly when Heath's mouth left hers. However, she was soon groaning when his lips assaulted her neck. She felt dizzy with wanton desire. This was different than the slow lovemaking Heath had shown her before. He wasn't treating her like a porcelain doll that his strong hands could break. He was showing her a new side of his wants for her. A side that both frightened her and exhilarated her.
He let loose of her hands but still continued to balance her body with his one arm. Without warning, Heath picked her up away from the wall and pushed one of her legs around his waist. This alerted Audra to allow the other leg to follow the same direction. Then he moved hurriedly from the wall carrying her body as his mouth once again attacked hers. She heard slight crashing of things hitting the floor. She opened her eyes momentarily to see what it was. It was clear when her back hit wood that Heath had cleared the desk with his free hand.
Heath stopped kissing Audra long enough to pick his body up from hers. Audra panicked slightly thinking that he was going to stop. She was soon relieved of that notion when Heath pulled off his long john shirt followed by quickly unbuckling his pants. She shivered at the way his eyes bore into her. She knew the look of lust in her lover's eyes.
Heath leaned over to try to loosen the small strings that held Audra's corset together. She flinched when he cursed again due to the string being bound too tight. Audra had never worn a garment as such before. In her nervousness, she had bound the string in tight knots.
"I'm sorry." Audra whispered thinking she had ruined the intimate excursion with her naivety.
Heath only winked at Audra before he bent over and picked up something from the floor. He bent over her pressing his body slightly into hers.
With a husky voice, he whispered in her ear. "This will just make it more excitin'."
Audra was confused until Heath leaned back only slightly. Then she felt cold metal cross over her throat softly and non threateningly. She knew immediately it was a letter opener that Tom Barkley had purchased years ago. It was the letter opener purchased to open the first check from selling his mine. Ironically, it was his first money to begin building his empire from the selling of his mine in Strawberry.
Audra could tell the letter opener was turned where the sharp edge was away from her skin. However, the cold of the metal still caused goose bumps to raise on her skin as Heath ran it along the contours of her neck. She didn't know how he knew she'd feel so much desire at his ministrations with the letter opener. She didn't care either. When he took the opener on down over the swell of her breasts that stuck out over the top of her corset, Audra instinctively arched her body towards Heath's.
When she thought she could take no more of his teasing with the letter opener, she felt him turn the blade. Her eyes opened quickly when Heath sliced away the barrier of silk string that held together her corset. She heard the clank of the letter opener against the wood of the floor. It had served its purpose.
Audra didn't know how long they kissed or how often Heath allowed his lips to travel over her body before they joined in lovemaking. She knew it was rougher than the past times. She knew the pleasure was more palpable as well. All Audra knew was she felt like she was going to pass out more than once. Both their bodies were wet with sweat as they continued to be as one.
The realization that Tom Barkley's portrait hung above them was lost to them. It was lost to the fact that a father's portrait stared down at a son never claimed and a daughter not his own were in the throws of making love. Audra was usually the one who called out Heath's name. However, she bit her lip to stop her screaming out in pleasure. The taste of the copper blood teased her tongue only mere seconds before Heath was assaulting and tasting her lips again.
The shadows of their bodies caused an erotic dance on the study walls as the flames from the fireplace illuminated against their bare flesh. Heath soon was the one that grunted lowly in Audra's ear. "Audra."
As Heath helped Audra on with her robe, he placed a kiss to the top of her head where sweat dampened hair lay. She played with the back of his neck feeling his damp hair curled slightly against his neck.
"I thought you accepted Scott's proposal. I saw you from the hill." Heath walked Audra to the door.
"Never." Audra grasped Heath's hand. "Is that what this was? Trying to prove I belong to you?"
Heath leaned his forehead against Audra's. " No, Audra. It was to show you that I belong to you."
