Whee.. Chapter 50! And celebrate 130 faves! Oh yeah! I was dancing earlier. It was pretty funny. lol.
Oh yeah, and celebrate almost 30000 hits! (Only for this story, mind you.) Woot! Yay for me!

Disclaimer: I do not own Full Metal Alchemist. (If I did, Roy would be 19 and Ed would be 17 and they would shag. Constantly)

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"BASTARD!" Ed yelled out as Roy dragged the teenager out from the back of the store.

The store clerk, who had foolishly tried to unbutton Edward's pants, was up sitting leaned against a box.

He was out cold.

Roy couldn't help but laugh.

"LET ME GO! IM GOING TO KILL HIM!" Ed yelled.

Roy just smiled.

He loved his little Edward.

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"Natrum." Ed scoffed under his breath as they walked down the street.

"What an asshole."

Hughes threw his head back and laughed as Roy told him what the clerk looked like when he came upon him.

"That's our Edina." Hughes said with care, and patted the boy's shoulder.

Ed growled and clenched his fists.

"That bastard had it coming."

It was then that Ed noticed all the hungry eyes staring at him.

"What the hell?"

He was fed up.

He walked over to one man in particular. He wasn't bad looking, but had that scruffy air about him. As Ed walked up, the man got a devilish look on his face.

"Hey baby."

Poor, Poor, stupid man.

As Roy pulled the boy off another of his victims, Ed yelled out, "I AM OFF LIMITS YOU ASSHOLES!"

He then whipped around and kissed Roy, full on.

Hughes wisely turned his head away and stared at all the astonished faces.

He then turned back around to see another one.

Roy.

He couldn't say anything, couldn't move. Could barely breathe.

Ed had caught him so off guard, he didn't know what to do.

Ed snapped his fingers and said, "Snap out of it!"

As Roy came back from la-la land, he felt a pat on his back.

"Don't freak out, Roy." Ed said and smirked.

Ed then walked two steps away from Roy and cleared his throat.

"Excuse me! All lowlifes, losers and barbarians!"

Roy smacked his head. "Dear god no."

Ed continued with his announcement and yelled, "I AM OFF LIMITS! You touch me, my…" he paused.

"My husband will kill you!" He then held up his hand to show the ring.

All the townspeople were in a state of shock.

This was something …new.

"And if he's not around…" Ed continued.

"Umm…"

He paused and pulled up his pant leg to reveal his auto mail.

"I'll kick you where it hurts."

Roy saw a couple men hold their crotches with the thought of being kicked by metal.

He then carefully walked up to the enraged teenager, placed his hand on his shoulder and said, "I think you've made your point."

Ed nodded his head. "Good."

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As they made their way back to the hotel, Roy noted there were several people talking in hushes voices. He glared at them and they immediately stopped.

He then smiled and looked down at his companion.

Maybe what he had done wasn't as stupid as he thought after all.

Think again.

Suddenly, an old tall burly man with a blonde mustache appeared. He had broad shoulders and looked like he might have been a wrestling champion. His eyes were crystal blue and crow's feet hung under them. The man's appearance was scruffy, but more refined than the others.

The man slowly waddled over.

Roy glared, pulled Edward behind him and politely asked, "Is there something I can help you with?"

Suddenly the man began to laugh and he patted Roy on the back, nearly sending him into the ground.

"What a trooper." The man yelled in a strange accent.

He then turned and yelled, "You heard the lady."

There was then some talking and before Roy knew it, he was being pulled into a bar.

"Come." The man said.

"Have a drink with me."

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The building was dark and rank with the scent of body odor, cigarettes and well, beer.

The bar itself was fairly clean. A couple girls were manning the bottles. A couple… attractive girls.

"The name's Morgan." The man suddenly said.

Roy nodded his head.

"I'm…" he paused.

Morgan laughed. "Don't worry about it. We'll just call you trooper."

Roy raised an eyebrow. "Wha?"

Morgan let out a hearty laugh and twirled his mustache.

"I know you're probably not here under the best of circumstances."

Roy smiled nervously and choked out. "Heh, yeah."

Suddenly, Morgan pounded the bar and yelled out, "Niana! Two Barros!"

"What's a Barro?" Roy asked, a bit concerned.

Morgan laughed.

"It's good rum from the south somewhere."

He paused and grabbed the bottle Niana had brought for him.

"It'll put some hair on your chest." Morgan laughed out.

Niana smirked as she poured a mug for Roy.

"Here you go.Try not to get too drunk, kay?"

Roy scowled.

Niana laughed and spurted out, "Morgan, maybe you should lay off on this one. He doesn't look too hardy."

It was then that Roy brought up the mug and took it all down in one shot.

He pounded it onto the bar and said, "Another."

Needless to say Niana was surprised. She grabbed the bottle and said, "Maybe I was wrong."

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After about four mugs on Morgan's tab, Roy was out like a light.

Ed, who had been playing cards, quickly rushed to Roy's side and yelled, "What happened to him?"

Niana flipped her black hair back and laughed hoarsely.

"Couldn't hold his liquor."

Morgan let out a hearty laugh and said, "You got a greenhorn there, Miss."

Ed rolled his eyes and clenched his fist.

"Of all times to be getting drunk… you asshole."

Morgan twirled his mustache and grinned.

"I guess you best take him to bed. It won't be good for him to sleep here."

Ed growled. "I can't carry him."

Morgan pointed toward Hughes who was dancing around like an idiot with a pan on his head.

"Right." Ed groaned.

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When Ed finally tore Hughes away from his adoring crowd, they both dragged Roy back to the hotel.

When they got there, the woman laughed. "Greenhorn?" She asked, with a slight hint of criticism in her tone.

Ed nodded his head and groaned out, "They both are."

The woman just laughed and let them back into their room.

When Hughes threw Roy onto the bed, he took about two steps and fell onto his.

They were both out.

Ed growled.

"Idiots."

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Whee.. Yes, I know you're all mad at me for not going more into Roy being drunk. hehe. I did that on purpose. You'll see later. Oooo.. I'm bad. hehe. Oh, and be sure to Review for me pretty please and thank you.