Disclaimer: Bleach belongs to Tite Kubo.
Chapter 49
Leave the Past Behind
I fell asleep after a little while and slept pretty well the rest of the night. Thankfully I didn't have any more bad dreams that night. When I woke up, Sosuke was already awake. He was reading something and drinking some tea. I sat up and realized how much I missed the sunlight. This being night time all the time made it hard to get up. When it's dark, I just naturally want to sleep. I guess the pregnancy wasn't making getting up easier either. Paizley made me really tired. This sort of felt like it was my first pregnancy, because I skipped all this stuff when I was pregnant with Raina. I went almost directly into my third trimester with her. All of this was new to me.
"You're awake." He said.
I smiled slightly and then laid back down.
"Are you going back to sleep?" He asked.
"I don't know. Maybe."
"Are you feeling well?"
"I feel ok. I'm just tired, getting up is getting progressively harder each morning."
"Do you know why?"
"Maybe it's all this darkness. I miss the sun."
He laughed a little. "I'll give you the sun and anything else you want after the completion of my goals."
I smiled. "It could just be the pregnancy. A lot of women I talked to when I was carrying Raina said they were tired in their first trimester. A few even said they noticed being tired shortly after conceiving, so it's not farfetched to think that's why I'm tired."
"Speaking of which," He got up and walked over to his desk where he pulled out a medicine bottle. "I got these for you."
He walked over to the bed and handed them to me as I sat up.
Prenatal vitamins? Do I even want to know when and where he got those? Unmei said.
"When I found out you were pregnant, I started reading about it. I found that you should be taking prenatal vitamins. I researched what the best kind would be, because I only want my child to have the best. I found that those were the best. You should start taking them right away." He said.
What is he, a doctor now? Dr. Aizen? Unmei joked.
I laughed a little at what Unmei has said. "That was nice of you to get these for me, but I already have some. I was still taking them after I had Raina. You're supposed to take them while you breastfeed. So I never really stopped."
"You should switch. These are better." He ran his fingers through my hair. "I only want the best for you and Paizley. These are the best."
I sighed. "Ok, can you get me some water?" I asked.
He left and came back with a glass of water. I took one of the vitamins he got me.
"Thank you." He said, stroking my cheek.
I smiled. "I suppose I should get up. I'm not going to accomplish anything lying in the bed all day."
"What do you plan on accomplishing today?"
"Didn't you want me to bring Szayel back?"
"Oh yes, of course."
Don't act like you didn't remember. We all know you did. I can't believe you're going to bring him back. I still say no.
"If it's ok, I'd like to do it later. I'm going to need all my strength to do it, so I need to be fully awake."
"We can do it whenever you'd like."
"Good." I said as I walked to the closet to find something to wear.
"Kristen?" He said seriously.
I knew that tone of voice meant he wanted my attention, so I stopped flipping through the clothes and looked at him. "Yes."
"Ever since finding out you were pregnant, I've been thinking about you're involvement in the war. I thought about having you stay here, where you would be safe. I don't want you getting hurt. On the other hand, I would much rather have you by my side."
"Do you know what you want now?"
"Indeed, I do. I still want you to come, just like we've talked about. I don't want you to fight unless it's absolutely necessary though. I know you can take care of yourself and I know your power is beyond theirs, but I don't want to take any chances of you and my Paizley getting hurt. Just by being there, you will prove useful."
"How so?"
"It's called psychological warfare. The Gotei 13 is aware of what you can do and I believe Unmei has struck fear into their hearts. Your presence alone will have them looking over their shoulders, wondering when and if you're going to attack." He explained.
"Sounds like a plan to me." I said and then continued to look for something to wear.
Sosuke had a lot of my stuff brought to his room. Now I had clothes in his closet and in his drawers. It was more convenient than going back and forth to my room. I didn't mind sharing a room with him. He was decent company. I had to admit that I liked all of the compliments he gave me. It also did things for my status here and the better I was treated here, the easier it made things on me. I was also closer to Gin's room and that was a major plus. Now if I could just avoid having sex with him, everything would be ok. If I made an excuse every time, I'm sure he would think something was up. I'll have to start beating him to the room and get in the bed before he does. That way I can pretend I'm asleep. He doesn't try it all the time either, so that's a good thing. Problem is, I never know if he's going to try or not.
He went to sit back down as I was looking through the clothes. When I found something, I came back out. He was reading whatever he was reading when I woke up. I laid the clothes on the bed and went to the dresser to get my underclothes.
"Ulquiorra inform me of something that happened to you yesterday." He said without looking away from the paper he was reading.
"The thing with Nnoitra?"
"Yes. Were you not going to tell me?"
"I didn't think it was that big of a deal. He already calls me your pet, so I didn't want to come running to you about it."
"Is that so? Did he call you anything else?"
"Why?"
"Just curious as to the situation at hand here, is all."
"There is no situation. That was yesterday, it's over now."
"He attacked you. I won't tolerate that kind of behavior. He is replaceable, you are not. I will have to have a talk with him later today." He said, putting the paper down.
"Just leave it alone. I can handle myself, Sosuke."
"I always protect what is mine, Kristen. And you are mine." He said in a serious tone.
Sounds like he means business. Unmei mocked.
I didn't say anything.
"Are you not?" He asked.
I half smiled.
He got up and walked over to me. He put his hands on my face. "You offered yourself to me, remember? As I remember you said 'take me, I'm yours.' Then we consummated our relationship and conceived our first child. Not to mention the promise ring I gave you, which you accepted. You belong to me and I will make sure no one even thinks about harming you."
None of that holds any significance whatsoever.
"Fine." I smiled. "No use in trying to talk you out of it. Seems like you've already made up your mind."
"I have." He kissed me softly.
I pulled away. "I really need to get a shower before Raina wakes up."
"I have things I need to take care, so I'll be gone when you get out."
"Ok, I'll find you when I'm ready to bring Szayel back."
He nodded and I went in the bathroom.
He has to know something is going on. He may not know it's with Gin, but the way he said 'you are mine' was pretty serious. He sounded as if he was trying to make a point. Unmei said.
I don't think so. Gin and I have been covering our tracks extremely well. He couldn't know. Maybe I was the one he was trying to get the point across too, but not in a way like he thinks I'm with someone else. In a way like he feels that I don't consider myself his. His feeling would be correct, because I don't. I told Unmei in my mind, not wanting to take the chance that Sosuke might hear if I actually spoke it.
You could be right. There's no telling with him. If only we could get into his head.
"We may not want to know what's going on in his head." I spoke, because I had heard the door close and knew that Sosuke had left.
I do. Then I would know all his plans and his weaknesses. Then I could defeat him and we could move on.
"Somehow I don't think it would be that easy. Nothing around here is ever that easy."
Things would be a lot easier if I could get in his head.
I laughed.
By the time I got a bath and got ready, Raina had woken up. I fed her and spent some time with her, before deciding to go see Tia. I brought Raina along, of course. I had been wondering exactly how Tia had become an Arrancar. She said she was trying to protect her fracción. I wanted to know what happened. Since she was my fracción more or less, I wanted to know what I could about her, Mila Rose, Apache and Sun-Sun. When I made it to her quarters, I knocked on the door. Mila Rose answered.
"Kristen-sama! Hallibel-sama will be happy to see you." She said and led me to where the others were.
"Hey all." I said.
"Kristen-sama." Tia bowed her head. "Is this your child?"
"This is. Her name is Raina."
"She's beautiful." Mila Rose said.
"I was about to say that!" Apache said.
"I actually came here to learn more about you guys." I said, before Apache and Mila Rose began to argue.
"More about us? What do you want to know?" Tia asked.
"Everything. I want to know about you, what you've been through, how you got here."
"You actually care what we've been through?"
"Of course, Tia. I care about my followers."
Tia's jacket covered up her mouth, so I couldn't exactly see her smiling. But I could tell from the look in her eyes that she was happy that I wanted to know.
"I have this spell that can send me back to observe what has happened. I wanted your permission first. I didn't want to pry or anything." I said.
"I'm honored that you have taken in interest in us, Kristen-sama. What do you mean by a spell? You can cast spells?" Tia inquired.
"Yes, I can. I have a whole book full of them. I can also make them up."
"What all can you do, Kristen-sama?" Apache asked.
"I'd be more than happy to tell you all, if you're interested."
"We are." Mila Rose said.
"Please tell us." Sun-sun said.
"Yes, I think we all want to know." Tia said.
So I told them about all my powers and what all I knew I could do with them. Then I told them about the advancements that I had no clue what were or when they would come, just knew they would happen and that my powers would continue to grow. I told them about the Nexus and the spells. I didn't tell them everything, just things that I thought they should know. It was stuff Aizen already knew. I didn't want to tell them stuff he didn't know. They were all pretty impressed with it all. I was happy, but I came here to learn about them. I was more concerned about their back story.
"You have my permission to observe my past, Kristen-sama." Tia said.
"So from what the book said, it will basically put me to sleep. My body will be here, but my spirit will go to your past. I will wake up when I'm done seeing what I've sought to."
Tia led me to her bed, where I could lie down on it and be comfortable during my travel back to the past.
"Ha Kaze?" I called. She manifested and I handed Raina to her. "This is Raina's Zanpakuto spirit. She won't harm you. You can hold Raina if you wish. I just brought Ha Kaze out because she knows Raina best. After all, she is a part of her." I explained.
They all nodded.
I laid down on the bed and began to read the spell. "Remove the chains of time and space and make my spirit soar. Let these mortal arms embrace the life of Tia's before." My eyes instantly shut.
When I opened my eyes, I was in Hueco Mundo outside Las Noches. I saw this deer looking hollow running toward me.
Don't worry, she can't see you. You're here to observe the past, not affect it. Unmei said.
This weird looking hollow that I couldn't even begin to describe was chasing the one that looked like a deer. When they stopped and began to talked, I recognized the deer hollow to be Apache. She was an Adjuchas class hollow. The weird looking hollow was also an Adjuchas, a male. He was going to devour Apache. Before he could devour her, another hollow showed up. I instantly recognized her as Tia. She was a near-humanoid shark-like Vasto Lorde class hollow. Vasto Lorde was the highest class of the hollows. The male Adjuchas told Tia that she was pretty small and he tried to devour her, but it was to no avail. She easily killed him. Tia told Apache to come with her and she did.
I was suddenly in the cave. Tia was coming down the stairs with Apache. There were two other Adjuchas in there. A serpent-like one, who, by her voice, I recognized to be Sun-sun and one that looked like a lion, who was Mila-Rose. Tia introduced her as a comrade and Apache didn't take too well to that. Apache and Mila-Rose began to argue.
"Apparently, those two have been arguing since day one." I laughed and so did Unmei.
"I have no ulterior motive for bringing you here." Tia began to explain. "We women are easy prey for the males. I brought you here because I thought that it would be better if we worked in a group, rather than working alone."
I was back in the desert again, watching them chase off some male hollow. They worked well as a team. Then they all went to sleep, except Apache and Tia.
"What's wrong? Can't sleep?" Tia asked.
"Oh..no. It's just…Why don't you kill or devour the guys who attack you?" Apache asked. "In Hueco Mundo, if you want to protect yourself you must become stronger. That's why everyone devours lower ranked hollows and Adjuchas to make themselves bigger. So why don't you do this?"
"I don't want to become stronger through the power I gain by killing and sacrificing another. If I can't win alone, then I'll win as a group. That's all there is to it." Tia answered.
I flashed to another part of the desert where Apache was being attacked by this hollow that could shoot energy discs from its fingers. Apache dodged and the discs headed straight for me. I held my hand out to stop them, but they didn't stop.
You don't have your powers here, Kristen. I told you, you are just here to observe.
"Then how the hell do I protect myself?"
You don't. She said as the energy discs phased through me.
"What? I didn't even feel that."
You're intangible and invisible. They can't see you, hear you, touch you, sense you or hurt you. It's as if you aren't even here.
"Well you could have told me that sooner."
The hollow was just about to get Apache when Tia sliced it in to.
Then I flashed to see Baraggan sitting on his throne when he was King of Hueco Mundo. He had his subject surrounding him. Tia, Apache, Mila-Rose and Sun-sun were standing in front.
"This must have been before Sosuke took over." I said to Unmei.
He was working on taking over at the time.
"You again? What do you want?" Tia asked.
"Don't make me repeat myself, Hallibel. It is annoying to see you play around in my sight. However, it would be a waste to kill someone of your power. Therefore, I've come to you today with two choices. The first one, as I have asked you before, is to join my army." Baraggan said.
"And the other one?" She asked.
"Vanish to a place where I cannot see you. Of course there is no place in Hueco Mundo that I cannot see!" He cackled.
This big hollow with a head the shape of a hammer head shark got in Tia's face. "Hallibel, don't you understand? You have no choice but to become subservient to Lord Baraggan!" He put his hand, flipper, whatever that was, on her arm.
"Don't touch me." She said before slashing his head.
He fell over crying basically. Baraggan told her that she would regret her decision, but I didn't think she cared. I walked behind Tia and the rest as they walked away.
Aizen is here right now.
"What? Where?"
Look up, over there on that ledge.
I stopped and looked. Sure enough he was there, along with Gin and Tosen. It must have been before they defected from the Soul Society, because they was wearing their captain haoris. Sosuke looked very different. His hair wasn't slicked back. It looked to be pretty natural. He was also wearing square rimmed glasses. I had seen him look like this before in a premonition, but this felt more real. He looked so much nicer. Not as in more attractive, but more approachable, kinder. I can see how he had everyone fooled.
"He's looking straight at me, Unmei."
It's probably just a coincidence. He can't see you.
"Then he would be looking at nothing. Are you sure he can't see me?"
Yes, don't worry about it. Just keep following them. You're not here for him.
I hesitantly left his gaze and caught back up with the others.
I flashed back to Tia's lair. She wasn't there, but her fracción was.
"Do you know that there are some strange rumors about Baraggan recently?" Sun-sun asked.
"Rumors?" Mila-rose repeated.
"Yes. Something about him having many incredibly powerful soldiers with cracked masks." Sun-sun said.
"Cracked masks? What's that supposed to mean?" Mila-rose asked.
"That's none of our concern! Hallibel-sama and the three of us can handle them." Apache stated.
There was a crashing sound and smoke coming from the stairs. Then an Arrancar extremely reminiscent to the hollow in Baraggan's army that Tia slashed came walking down the stairs.
"Is that…"
Yes, it's the same guy.
He proceeded to attack Apache, but Tia instantly appeared in between them and stopped him. She seemed to recognize him as well. He seemed to be stronger than Tia, getting her out of the picture for a little bit. He walked over to the others.
"Don't worry. I won't devour you three." He held his palm out. "I'll wipe you all out without a trace!"
He charged a cero, but Tia came out of nowhere and pushed his arm up, throwing his aim off. Tia told her fracción to run, not wanting them to get hurt and then did. The Arrancar knocked Tia out of the lair onto a rock. He then walked over and picked her up by the head.
"Lord Baraggan told you that you would regret it! Hueco Mundo will undergo big changes. I'll eliminate nuisances like you and then join the top ranks!" He said and then this blue energy sword formed in his hand.
Suddenly, her fracción came back and saved her.
"Listen up! We'd do anything, even sacrifice ourselves, for Hallibel-sama! Don't think we'll go down so easily!" Apache yelled.
"Take a listen to the newcomer…" Mila-rose said.
"She's so cocky." Sun-sun said.
"But I'm with her." Mila-rose stated.
"Same here." Sun-sun agreed.
They all fought the Arrancar, but lost.
"You're sacrifices will not go to waste!" Tia exclaimed.
"What can you do?" The Arrancar asked.
She didn't say anything, she just attacked him. She was doing pretty good for a second, but that all charged after she brought her weapon down on his shoulder.
"Don't underestimate me." The Arrancar said before removing her weapon and slashing her across the chest. "Not yet…It's not over yet! I will continue to torment you!"
"Ok, I really hate this. I feel so helpless." I said.
You wanted to see her past. Now you are.
"This is awful."
The Arrancar drew his energy sword and she made to attack again. He blocked and knocked her down to the ground. He put his foot on her to keep her down and raised his weapon.
"No!" I screamed, basically in tears from having witnessed this.
Calm down.
Sosuke came out of nowhere and blocked the Arrancar's attack. He looked the Sosuke I know. He wasn't wearing the glasses and his hair was slicked back as usual.
Ever the hero. Unmei said sarcastically.
Sosuke slashed the Arrancar across the chest.
"Wh-why? A-Aizen?" The Arrancar said as he fell backwards.
"With the power of sacrifice it is possible to do the impossible." Sosuke said looking at the blood on his hand. "I'm sorry. I gave him Arrancar powers. But it looks like I didn't give him the brain to control it."
"Who are you?" Tia asked.
"If you do not want to produce causalities, then gain power. If the power you seek is your ideal, I can give it to you." Sosuke says.
"My ideal?" Tia asked, unsure of what he was talking about.
"You want to become stronger for your comrade, don't you? If you gain power, you won't produce any more causalities. That is your ideal. Don't you want to see what your ideal looks like? I want you to come with me. I shall lead you to your ideal. I won't make you sacrifice yourselves like you did just now." He explained.
"How much time has passed?" I asked Unmei and Sosuke turned his head to look at me. "Whoa. Did he hear me?"
No, Kristen. I've told you before. He can't see or hear you.
He reached out towards me and his hand went straight through me.
"Are you sure?"
Well he not supposed to be able to.
"What? You were so sure a minute ago! Now you don't seem like you are!"
Just walk away. If his eyes follows you then we'll know.
I walked away and his eyes didn't follow.
I told you.
"If they can't see me, then why is Gin looking at me too?"
They're just looking. It isn't you.
I walked toward Gin, but more from an angle. His eyes didn't follow me either.
What are you doing? We should leave now. You're done seeing what you wanted.
"In a minute."
I reached out to Gin's face, knowing I couldn't exactly touch him, but I wanted to try something. I stroked his face, though half of my hand went though his face. He brought his hand up to his face, exactly where I was touching him.
"He felt it. You cannot call all this coincidences."
Maybe he felt something and maybe Aizen felt a presence. Maybe it's because of your connection with both of them. I know for a fact that this spell doesn't allow you to affect the past. So it could be just a feeling they're getting. It's nothing that will make a major impact on the situation. We should go.
I smiled at Gin. "I'll see you later."
Then I woke up. "Wow."
"Did you see?" Tia asked.
"I did and I'm sorry you had to go through all that. I wanted to kill the guy myself, but I couldn't. Men can be pigs sometimes."
And yet you insist on being with one. I don't get it.
"What that Arrancar did to you brings back some bad memories." I said.
"What happened?"
"I'm sure you all remember Shane. Well he was my ex boyfriend and he used to beat me. I'll never forget those many times I used to cry in the corner. I blame myself, because I stayed with him. I let him have power over me."
Tia clenched her fists. "His death was well deserved then. Now he can't hurt you anymore. And don't blame yourself. You didn't ask him for it, therefore it's not your fault. Besides you're a different woman now."
"True, very different. I'd rather die standing than live on my knees."
"Me too." Tia agreed.
I took Raina away from Ha Kaze. "I would have another child, if it wasn't for him. I let him manipulate me into not having it. Now I've lost the baby forever."
"Surely with all the resources you have, you can find it again." Tia said.
"Maybe your right. I've got to go. I will see you later." I said.
They all bowed as I left.
"Would the baby be in the soul society?" I asked Unmei
Yes it was alive at one point. When you terminated the pregnancy, it probably went to the Soul Society as an infant.
"An infant, all alone with no family. If someone didn't find it, it probably didn't make it."
Maybe someone did. Both you and Shane came from privileged backgrounds, so it probably ended up in one of the nicer districts.
"It's been almost 5 years. Do you think that it's still a baby since they age slower in the soul society?"
I have no idea. I wish I could tell you. You know that this may not work, though.
"What?"
If you're not meant to meet that baby, then you won't be able to.
"How can I not be meant to meet my own child? The universe is completely f'd up if I can't see my kid."
You gave it up, remember? No matter if you were influenced or not, you still did. This would be the universe's way of saying you shouldn't have done it.
"Screw the universe!"
Now don't be that way. I say you don't even try it. I mean even if you get to see the child, you can't keep it.
"Why not? I've gotten to keep all my other people who are technically dead."
They're different and you know it. They're not just plain souls. They're shinigamis. You made a decision and now you must suffer the consequences.
"Even in his death, Shane still manages to make me suffer. Fine, I won't do it."
I think it's better this way. You need to stop looking back, look ahead. The past is who you used to be. Everything has changed, don't you see? You wanted to start over and you've been able to basically. The past is behind, learn from it. The future is ahead, prepare for it. The present is here, live it.
