As soon as the elevator door closed Irene turned to grin at Evie, "I can't believe you're back Evie, it's been so long."
Evie nodded, "yeah. Look Irene, I am so sorry. I've done-"
"Nothing to me specifically." Irene shrugged, "I mean, you've done quite a lot but you've apologised and I know it wasn't your fault. None of it was your fault. But me specifically? Yeah, we argued a bit but both of us were daemonised and you came to me in your time of need and all I did was push you away. So it's me who should apologise to you Evie. I know you don't want to say but me pushing you away...it made you lose the battle didn't it?"
Evie didn't say anything.
"I know it did. Thor was telling me about the daemon and how it didn't affect me very fast because I had friends and people to fight for and then you lost me. Your best friend and I know if it was the other way around, losing you would break me. Even now being with Bruce and having the Avengers, I need you and it's been so hard not having you around, knowing you didn't know who I am made it worse. So having you here Evie, having you back no matter what you've done. I can forgive you."
Evie swallowed, trying to hold back tears but it wasn't working, she turned and hugged Irene, "that 'Rene- thank you."
Irene kissed her cheek and just held her even when the elevator stopped and the doors opened. The two girls just hugged for a while. JARVIS holding the doors open patiently until Irene pulled away, "c'mon." she pulled Evie into the hallway.
"Do the others feel the same way?" Evie asked her quietly, afraid of the answer.
Irene shrugged as she led Evie into her room – well, she usually shared with Bruce now but she knew Evie needs her more right now so she went to her old room to talk to Evie.
"I don't know. You'll need to talk to them personally but I know that Steve still loves you."
"How? I've done so much to him, why doesn't he hate me?"
Irene shrugged, "because he really does love you." She grinned widely at Evie, "true love never dies." Evie couldn't help but laugh softly, "but he's barely slept since you went missing. When he did sleep it was from passing out or us drugging him. It's been the same for me really, Bruce has had to drug me a few times, but talk to him tomorrow, now that you're safe everyone can rest and soon this will be in the past okay?"
Evie nodded, "thank you Irene." She sat down on Irene's bed and grinned at Irene, "so, you and Bruce? Finally."
Irene laughed, "yep."
"How did it happen?"
Irene grinned at her and began to tell Evie, them both relaxing into familiar territory of gossip and talking to their best friend after so long.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Evie woke the next morning and was momentarily confused at where she was before realising that she was in a spare room in Stark towers.
She felt Freya kick and smiled softly to herself. This had gone better than she expected. But then her smile faded as she realised she still had to talk to Steve and the others.
She slowly forced herself out of the bed, hand over her belly, not long now, she is what? Just under 8 months now, she realised she needs to go to a midwife soon and get them to check her over; maybe S.H.I.E.L.D will do that anyway. She hates S.H.I.E.L.D she doesn't trust them at all but the Avengers she trusts, it's difficult but her old memories over took her newer ones of distrust.
So she made her way to the common room, nervous about who's going to be there and what they will say.
She found Bruce, Clint and Logan; they were all in the common room all talking. There was a small pile of suitcases by the elevator. Evie's eyes widened when she saw Logan and he turned to grin at her.
"Hey Riverbud."
Evie laughed and walked to hug him, he hugged her tightly rubbing her back. "Hello."
"I hear you've remembered?" he asked when they separated.
Evie nodded, "yeah I did, I'm sorry abou-"
"It's okay." Logan cut her off before she could finish and he winked at her, "I understand Riverbud."
"Riverbud?" Clint asked.
"Nickname Logan gave me."
"More like your superhero name," Clint grinned, Bruce murmured an agreement, Logan chuckled and he squeezed her shoulder lightly as they both moved to sit back down by the table where Clint and Bruce sat opposite them.
"I'm not a superhero. I killed people." Evie said softly, looking down at the table unable to look anybody in the eye.
There was silence for a moment but then Bruce spoke up quietly, "then neither am I."
Evie's head shot up and looked at Bruce, "You've saved people. You used the Hulk for good."
"Doesn't mean you can't use yours for good now." he told her sternly.
"You never used your powers for...you never purposely killed."
"I did." Clint said quietly.
"You had been mind-controlled."
"So had you." Clint shrugged.
"I still- I was still me. I knew what I was doing."
Clint hesitated but then he had to speak, "you do know what an assassin is, right?"
"Yeah..." Evie knew where this was going but she wanted to hear it.
"I am an assassin. I killed on contract, I never asked about these people I stuck an arrow through. Good people probably. I tried to tell myself that they were the bad guys, but how likely is it that the good guys would hire a contract killer? Not very likely. And I was in my right mind then. You, Evie, weren't. So don't beat yourself up about it. We all forgive you."
"How do you deal with the guilt?"
The two men glanced at each other and shrugged, "I talk to Nat." Clint admitted, "and as the Avengers, I use my abilities to help people to just try and atone for my sins."
Bruce nodded, "yeah, I mean having the Avengers and this...family, as broken as it is, it's helped me a lot. And I try to help people whether that's as the Hulk or just as Bruce Banner."
Evie smiled softly, and finally, it reached her eyes. "Thank you."
They all fell quiet for a moment until, Clint stood up, "Blueberry pancakes?" he offered out to everyone.
There was a murmured of agreement from everyone, "please." Evie added.
Clint nodded and started to make the batter as the Avengers began to come and go. When Irene came in she kissed Bruce and sat down beside him winking at Evie who smiled softly. She was happy for Irene; she knows how much Irene has liked Bruce for a long time now. They both deserve the happiness that they have obviously found in each other.
Steve came in a while later, his hair still wet from a shower, "good morning sleepy head. You're usually up long before this." Clint grinned at Steve and held up pancakes in offer.
Steve nodded, "thanks. I was just out running."
"If you're running again I'll have to join you."
Steve grinned, "sure. It'll be nice to have a running partner."
Evie glanced back at Steve and she smiled softly, she didn't know how she should act around him. He smiled back and took the seat beside her as Clint handed him the pancakes and Steve glanced at Logan who sat on Evie's other side but Logan just nodded respectfully telling Steve it's all okay. They had come to an understanding over the last couple of months.
"Sleep well?" Steve asked Evie and she smiled.
"Better than I have in a long time, thanks."
"Good." Steve smiled, "we'll have to bring all your stuff back from the mansion soon."
"No need," Logan spoke up, "I brought it all when I came here this morning." He gestured to the suitcases by the elevator.
"Oh you did? Thanks." Evie said gratefully. Logan shrugged and then Evie looked up at Steve nervously, "I was actually wondering, there's a few of my things at uh Loki's apartment that I wouldn't mind getting back would I be able to do that?"
"I'll talk to S.H.I.E.L.D." Clint offered, "I think it's all been packed away into storage now so that should be fine."
"Thank you." She said again smiling at Clint.
Everybody fell quiet for a few moments; nobody knew what to say so finally Evie stood up, "I'll take my bags to my room." She told them.
"I'll help you." Steve offered immediately, Evie nodded gratefully – it would give them a chance to talk. Evie took the smaller bags knowing that she shouldn't carry anything to heavy whilst pregnant, Steve grabbed the rest and they took them together into the elevator.
They stood in the elevator in awkward silence until they finally reached the floor where Evie's spare room was. Evie went in first and placed the bags on the floor; Steve put the other bags next to them and then turned to look at Evie.
He just stared at her for a few minutes, "we should talk." He said finally, his voice shaking slightly. Nervous.
"Yeah." Evie nodded, she didn't want to but it was needed. She didn't know how she should act around Steve, she loves him and he did tell her he wants to try again when she remembers but does he still feel that way?
As Steve pulled chair closer to the bed, Evie sat down on the bad. Neither spoke for a few minutes, both trying to find the right words and then Steve started laughing. Evie was confused for a moment until his laugher caught on and she started laughing.
When they finally managed to sober, Evie spoke up, "I- Steve I'm so freaking sorry. I could never say it enough but I love you Steve, I never stopped loving you and I just- I cheated on you and I killed people. You watched me kill that poor girl. Fuck, I should have helped you escape or something but I didn't and Sherlock he died becaus-," Evie cut off suddenly and closed her eyes trying to hold back the tears but that failed and sobs wrecked through her body, Steve moved from the chair to sit beside her and wrapped him arm around her shoulders rubbing her back softly, "the last time I saw him," Evie said when she was able, "we argued. They knew I was pregnant with Regalis' baby and told me to choose between Regalis or you and them. And I just- I chose Regalis obviously. I knew he was Loki by then. And I told them both- Sherlock thought I hate him even at the end."
"No." Steve told her forcefully, "he knew you were daemonised. He knew you loved him."
Evie nodded but she obviously didn't believe Steve, so she wiped at her eyes, "I'm sorry. This is about us, not him."
Steve shrugged, "he was our friend. A very good friend."
Evie nodded again and just lent into the feel of Steve's hand, still subconsciously rubbing small circles on her back.
"Did you love him?" Steve asked quietly a few minutes later. Evie knew he wasn't talking about Sherlock any longer.
Evie hesitated, not wanting Steve to know the answer but she cannot lie to him. "Yes."
Steve nodded, his hand moving away from her back, "do you still?"
"I- I don't know. I know that I could never go back to him. The thing we did, the people we killed. I couldn't. But part of me still loves him."
"And Logan?" Steve asked carefully, he had spoken to Logan about this but he didn't actually know what Evie felt towards the other man.
"He's just a friend." Steve's eyes narrowed and Evie froze at her wording, "I mean, he really is. That kiss, it was a bad mistake that I took when I was feeling lonely and confused. I told you I'd wait to get my life in order and my memory back before I make a decision and I've made my decision. You. But look, if you don't want me seeing him I won't."
"It's fine. You can see him. Logan and I have come to an understanding."
"Are you sure?"
Steve nodded, "Yeah."
"Thank you." Evie smiled softly at him, "but look, I need to tell you that I love you Steve. I understand if you don't want anything to do with me or Freya, I just need you to know that."
"I told you before that if you wanted to, I would love to...to be with you again Evie. To bring up Freya as my own. If that is what you want."
Evie shook her head but was smiling, "I want that Steve but how can you want it? After what I did, you should hate me?"
Steve shrugged, "I think that's the problem. I could never hate you Evie. I love you too much. Y'know, I knew you were cheating early on but I refused to see it because I loved you. Irene kept trying to talk to me but I wouldn't listen. It was only when Tony told me point blank that I had to listen." Evie nodded, just listening and not interrupted as Steve spoke, "and sometimes, I wished that I could hate you. Because that would be easier than loving you and not knowing if you felt the same."
"I do." Evie told him quickly, "I love you and I hate myself for cheating on you. I hate myself so much and if I could re-do everything I would but I can't. So yes. I want to try again with you Steve."
Steve smiled and he lent forward capturing Evie's lips on his.
She turned her body for a more comfortable position and kissed him back.
It was slow and they were both wary and getting used to one and other again but it was perfect.
When they separated they both smiled at each other, "It will take a while to trust you again Evie. A long time probably. Even, trusting you fully may never happen."
"I understand."
"But, I still love you. So I am willing to give you another chance."
Evie lent forward to kiss him again, "I love you too and I would love that more than anything in the world. Except you of course."
Steve laughed, "in that case, Evie Rae, would you like to go to dinner with me?"
Evie grinned, "I would love to."
"I think we should go slowly though." he added and Evie nodded in agreement. Steve kissed her once more grinning widely, he could finally do that again. And then he got up and left the room. Evie fell backwards on the bed grinning to herself. She couldn't believe it. This just happened. He was willing to try again.
The day had been so strange. Just yesterday she was still stuck in that house and now, here she is.
She fell into an easy sleep for the first time in months.
She was woken a few hours later by JARVIS announcing lunch. "Thanks J." Evie murmured sleepily and climbed out of bed, she changed into something more comfortable and then headed back upstairs to the common room.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Evie sat at the head of the table, Steve at her side. Her hands were shaking and everyone was just staring at her, various agents, Fury, the Avengers and the board of Governors on the screens around them.
Steve took her hand and Evie took a deep breath and began to answer the various questions she was asked, most of them were the same as the Avengers asked her two days prior. Evie answered them as honestly as she could.
They wanted to know more details about Loki's plan and who was involved and she answered to the best of her ability, she still hadn't remembered everything nor did Loki give her every detail. It took some time to convince the governors of this.
"And in a hypothetical scenario – if he escapes and this time his plan cannot fail for whatever reason, if he offers you to be his... Queen again, what would you do?" one of the agents asked her.
Evie shrugged, "It depends on the circumstances. I mean I wouldn't just say yes but if that meant I could stop him from ruling too harshly or maybe save my friends then I would probably say yes. But if it meant I'd do the same things I did this time or anything like that I'd say no."
"Your child, she will be powerful yes?" one of the governors asked, Evie's eyes narrowed and her hands moved to cover her belly protectively. She trusts the Avengers not to take her, S.H.I.E.L.D however, she does not.
"Possibly." Evie ground out.
"Will she be trained to control this power?"
"Yes." Thor answered before Evie could, "I will help her in what I can but as I am not trained in magic then my mother and other sorcerers on Asgard will help in her training. When she reaches adulthood her powers must be registered on Asgard but I will take care of that."
The governor nodded thoughtfully, "what will she do when she is an adult?"
Evie shrugged, "whatever the hell she wants."
"What if you go to prison?" another governor asked. Evie's eyes narrowed again, this was the first time prison was mentioned, she noticed Clint shift in his seat, "you don't want her to grow up in prison do you?"
"Prison has not been mentioned." Clint spoke up. "And prisoners' children are not raised in prisons."
"This girl has committed many crimes such as treason and murder. The thought of prison should go without saying."
"She committed these crimes when she was not in her right mind."
"So you're pleading insanity?"
"No. I'm pleading possession."
Evie felt that she should speak up and say she knew what she was doing. She doesn't want to go to prison but she had to be honest. But before she could speak, she caught Natasha's eye and she gave Evie the slightest shake of her head so Evie stayed quiet as Clint argued with the governor.
"So you're saying she had absolutely no choice in her actions?" the governor asked. Fury sent Clint a hard look waiting for the answer, Clint glanced at Evie quickly before looking back at the screen the governor was sat at
"I can't say 'no choice at all' I mean I'm sure she decided on what clothes to wear. But, she would have chosen different options had she not been possessed by this daemon. I can assure you of that."
The governor just nodded and lent back to show he's done with this current line of questions.
"Any more questions?" Tony repeated again.
"Leave the room we will discuss." Fury ordered.
Evie nodded and left the room, a moment later Steve and the Avengers followed her, "We're bias apparently." Bruce explained.
Evie nodded in understanding, "wh- what if I do go to prison?" Evie asked.
The Avengers glanced around at each other, "we don't know." Steve answered finally.
"But we can assure you that we will raise Freya as you would." Thor added.
"You have my suit." Tony smirked making Evie laugh.
"And you have my bow!" Clint joined in grinning.
"And my hammer!" Thor added happy he finally knew a pop reference.
The others just laughed softly while Evie grinned at them all. She missed this, the comfort of them all. She smiled gratefully, "thank you. All of you for being here and just-" she shrugged, "thank you."
"You've said." Clint grinned at her and Evie laughed softly.
They all stood in silence for a few minutes, nobody knowing what to say until Tony started talking about his latest project to Bruce until they were called back in. They re-took their seats and waited.
"She can stay with you in your tower." Fury said eventually, "you will be watched Miss Rae. You and your child. Until we believe you are safe you must make regular reports to S.H.I.E.L.D."
Evie nodded, "yeah. Okay, that sounds doable."
Fury nodded once at her, "you are all dismissed."
"Thank you." Natasha answered standing up to nod at the governors and lead everyone out of the room. Tony just grinned and waved at them all finally glad to be out of the boring meeting.
Once they were all back on the jet to head back to the tower they relaxed, "that went well." Clint said eventually and everyone laughed.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
"What do I wear?!" Evie yelled at Irene as they went through her cupboard, she had managed to get most of her clothes and items back from Regalis' storage. Evie had struggled not to react when she some of Loki's stuff that she remembered.
Today, Steve was taking her out for dinner for their second 'first date' and Evie was beginning to panic.
"Evie! Stop. Breath." Irene ordered. "Sit down." Evie immediately did as she as was told. "Right, well you can't borrow any of my clothes annoyingly." Irene glanced at Evie's bump, "let's see what you have."
"Nothing going out-able!" Evie sighed heavily, all her stuff she has was either too small or just quick and easy maternity clothes she or Colin had bought her when she had needed it. She hadn't even thought about needing some for going out anywhere. She hadn't expected to need any.
Irene glanced through them for another minute before nodding solemnly, "alright then, I'll be back soon. Just do your makeup or something."
Irene ran out the door leaving a bewildered Evie alone in her room. Irene was gone for half an hour making Evie more and more twitchy as time went on until she finally came back in holding a maternity dress.
Evie's eyes widened in wonder as she held it up to herself and it looked like it would fit, "wow, this is- how'd you get it?"
"I got Tony to fly me to a shop I could get it."
"'Rene I owe you one!" Evie squealed hugging her and then turned to get changed.
Irene just grinned and let her do so, once that was done she helped Evie do her hair and finish any touch ups to the makeup.
And then, Steve knocked on the door.
Irene answered and looked him up and down, he was wearing a black suit but without a tie. He stared at her for a moment confused, but he also looked very nervous. Irene hugged him tightly, "You won't regret this." She whispered into his ear before pulling back and walking past him away from this room.
Then Steve saw Evie standing by the bed and he gasped. She was wearing a long purple maxi dress with a V-neck and her hair was done in a long plait flowing down around her head and laying on her shoulder.
"Wow." He murmured. "You look beautiful." Evie blushed.
"Thank you."
Steve smiled, "ready to go?"
Evie picked up a small black purse and then nodded, "Yep."
Steve held out a hand and she took it. This time however they didn't walk, Steve took one of Tony's cars.
"Oh crap! I owe Pete a car!" Evie stated when she got into the car. Steve rose an eyebrow. "When I left the Mansion. I took a blue car; it was Pete's wasn't it?"
"Oh right. Yeah, don't worry about that Tony covered it."
"Oh. I'll have to thank him for that."
Steve just nodded as he concentrated on driving.
When they arrived Evie laughed softly, ''El Grillo' the same restaurant they had their first dinner date.
"Thought you might like it." Steve commented when he saw her smile.
"I do." Evie agreed. Steve parked and got out of the car to open the door for Evie and helped her out. "Thanks."
They were led to a seat and just looked at each other awkwardly, neither knowing what to say.
"So," Steve murmured and Evie laughed softly.
"So." She agreed.
"I don't know what to say." Steve said, "I mean this is like a first date but, we know each other."
Evie nodded, "well, I guess... why don't we act like it's our first date?"
"How do you mean?"
"Just..." Evie looked nervous for a moment, "so you say you save the world on a weekly bases?" she spoke in a curious voice, like she would if she didn't know him.
Steve frowned for a moment before realisation entered his eyes and he grinned at her, "sometimes a daily bases. What do you do?"
"Currently unemployed but I think after my babies born I'll be trying to find a job. Possibly in a library but I've been thinking I'll go to the X-mansion and work as a teacher there."
Steve's every widened in genuine surprise, it was the first time Evie mentioned it to him, "really?"
Evie nodded, "yeah, I was talking to this woman called Ororo a couple of days ago and I think that I would enjoy that, helping others learn to control their powers and stuff but," she shrugged, "I don't know. I can't really see myself as a teacher."
"I think you would be fantastic."
Evie hesitated, "how would the kids every respect me after they find out what I did?"
Steve stared at her for a moment, considering his words before finally saying, "then give them something to respect. Do good with your powers now that you can."
Evie smiled and nodded, "I'll try."
"Good." Steve grinned back at her and then picked up his menu, Evie copied his movements.
And from there the conversation flowed as they both spoke about living in the mansion and how nice it is to be home and Steve spoke about what else S.H.I.E.L.D wants him to do until they finished their meal and pudding and just smiled at each other and Steve paid for the meal despite Evie saying she can pay for herself and they made their way home.
When Evie's waters broke.
"Uh, Steve." She spoke up in the car.
"Hmm?" he glanced at her and his eyes widened, "uh?"
"I think my waters just broke."
"Oh." Steve blinked, "/oh/. Hospital?"
"Might be a good idea."
