A/N: Sorry this took a bit of time, but, seriously, I had to make sure it all made sense. What Fuji said in chapter 27 has totally changed the dynamics of this chapter and the ones to come, which annoyed me cos I had to rethink some stuff to make it all work. It will work.
(Any mistakes, I'll change in a few days. Can't be asked right about now...)
Ps: thanks for the (intense) reviews, and hi to any new readers. "Konnichi'wa mi na!!!"
Disclaimer: I was sat in zazen with Takeshi Konomi; we were meditating over what we would write next for our Prince of Tennis stories… (focused randomness)
Chapter Fifty Three
- Day Two -
"Are you even thinking about this Tezuka-san? I can't believe you're being hesitate over this." Ryuzaki-sensei threw down the papers on her desk, scattering them over more piles of maths work. "Two of 'em! Two injured people on one team… If I have one more, *I'm going to see red." She paced around the room only to stare out her window over the vast sports fields.
Tezuka leant against one of the student desks with his arms crossed loosely and his head down.
"Oishi-san, how's your wrist?" Ryuzaki-sensei shouted, letting the stress out in her voice.
Oishi, who was called up to sensei's maths room with Tezuka, sat two desks away from him. "Erm," He started. "I thought it was broken but it's just badly bruised, so I'm not too sure how well I can do in the coming games."
"Oh." Sensei groaned, and went back to her desk. "You know what? We didn't get this far for this to be a problem. We'll just have to move things around. We can afford to lose a match but we gotta win the important ones. I'll sort something out." She now looked over the next school's team and matched the players up by eye.
Oishi glanced at Tezuka. He caught him staring at his left hand, flexing his fingers slowly and staring absentmindedly at his palm.
"Hopefully the girls won't do anything as reckless… Fighting spirit, my foot! I'm starting to think you guys were just showing off in front of them. Hormones and all that nonsense. Why didn't I take this into consideration? Oh boy…" She went off again, talking to herself and reminiscing as such.
Tezuka conti nued to stare at his fingers that touched someone else's hair. Heck! What possessed him to do that? He clinched his fist and stood up.
"Ryuzaki-sensei?" Tezuka called.
"Huh? You've made up your mind?"
He shook his head. "I need to speak with Fuji-san."
Ryuzaki dropped the papers from her line of sight and thought about it for a moment. "No. I don't need her mind all messed up when they have their matches tomorrow." (Little did she know!)
"I need to tell her before I tell you, Sensei."
Ryuzaki-sensei sighed. She needed a decision from him as soon as possible and if letting him have the room to talk to Fuji would get her want she wanted then she would allow it. She took to her feet again. "Fine. But afterwards I want you to pick between the two. It's not as if you can have both. I need you to pick one."
He lowered his head to his chest. Why on earth would Ryuzaki-sensei pick those sets of words? He knew what she was talking about but it sounded like she was saying "pick which girl, you can't have both!" That boy in him was really loud as of late; making him think he could have them both, making him feel many emotions he knew he could keep under control. In control or out of control, he knew which girl he wanted to continue to give his heart to. Truth be told, he never really had any doubts in his mind. He just got over excited that a girl was so open with him. Considering the way he has been feeling lately, anyone could have said what Arai said to him and he would have done the same thing, had they cried the same way Arai did, he would have done the same thing. Knowing that, he knew it had little meaning. He only hoped Arai understood that it was just a moment in time and nothing more.
But, Arai did say a few interesting things, Tezuka decided. Yes, he did pick Fuji. Out of all the girls that would hold 'those' kind of eyes to him, he picked the one who always had them closed. And… did he have it in him to not forgive her? He pushed his glasses up and leant back down on the desk.
Why did Arai's words make him feel deflated and distance? Like he needed to withdraw and hide? The wrong one might have said it to him but he didn't know if he wanted to hear it from Fuji.
"This isn't like you Tezuka-san." Ryuzaki-sensei said, making the two of them turn to her. "I never expected you to get pulled into Atobe-san's taunts. Don't worry, Inui-san told me how unsportsmen-like you were. Whatever is bothering you, get it out of your system now, because you'll affect the others with your distractions… though, I think 'this' little bit of news will bother them." She tapped the papers. "Get it together by the end of the day. And when you have decided where you are going fill out the forms on the desk." She left the two in the room.
Once she closed the door, Oishi got up and dusted his uniform down. Tezuka still had that absent look about him. To the untrained eye, he appeared the same as always. But Oishi could see what Fuji could see. They noticed the slight changes that made them know when Tezuka was content, proud, fed up and, least noticeable, flustered. Oishi walked over to the desk Tezuka leant on and sat behind him. At first they didn't say anything. They heard and listened to the voices of those on the courts, both the tennis and the basketball courts, the track and field and the clubs next door. Even though it was so early in the morning, the school was busy. Before the ambience kept them quiet, Oishi decided what he would say.
"You know, they are pretty amazing, aren't they, Tezuka?" He paused, and did so whenever he spoke with his friend. They got into the habit of 'Oishi talking and Tezuka listening'. Tezuka unfolded his arms. "The girls, I mean. They are both sensitive with a noble strength. Whatever they set out to do they can muster up enough courage to do it. I find that they have pure hearts and will love someone who loves them back, even if it's unrequited. But even with such strength, they need words to keep them going.
"Just like us, they need meaningful words to help them along. I never thought Kikumaru would confess to me first… That's what made me realise how strong a girl's spirit is. Yet, we can lift them up, and so easily make them fall if we say and do the wrong things, or don't say anything at all. If we say nothing, we'll push them in a direction that we never hoped for, only because they got anxious."
Oishi paused so Tezuka could think about it. "I know that you've been concerned about your arm and getting to the Nationals, but… I can see that something else is bothering you. Is it related to Fuji-chan, Tezuka?"
Tezuka cleared his throat and covered his mouth with his right hand. "…Yeah." He barely uttered.
"Well, we both know that Fuji-chan is a strong person and very comfortable with the friends around her. She trusts people and won't accept anyone to harm those around her… but I know that she does things for your sake too. With Fuji-chan, her day starts and ends with you. So whatever you talk about, don't be too insensitive. We can't be considered men if we make girls cry *to save face."
Too late for that, Tezuka thought. The boy in him was noisy.
"Tezuka, you need to make sure she understands why you have to leave. I can kinda understand what's happening… Kikumaru has told me some stuff. In confidence you understand… but I don't think it would be fair of you to blame only Fuji-chan, I mean, when was the last time you said anything nice to her?"
Tezuka sighed. He didn't want to talk about this because he now didn't know what to think. His mind was clogged with junk. Useless junk. He knew there were many things he has never done to or for Fuji but he could not dismiss what Arai told him yesterday. Why it stuck in his mind, he didn't know, but why should she get away with it? He took off his glasses and shook his head vigorously to shake his hair about.
Sure, he shouldn't have touched another girl's hair but that wasn't what was bugging him. No. Don't think about it alone. Battling between his heart and mind was getting him nowhere. He was ready to listen and talk to Fuji. He didn't know what he would say or how he would react but he couldn't keep delaying it, less he be lead by 'the boy', and who knows were that would take him? He had to get reason and understanding from her and only her.
"It's tricky, Oishi…"
Oishi looked up to the ceiling and sighed a smile. "I know."
* * *
Meanwhile, at the same time that Ryuzaki-sensei had Oishi and Tezuka in her classroom, Arai came running into the school grounds for morning practise. She was late after putting make-up on to hide the dark rings under her eyes. She rounded the corner and saw her teammates coming out of the changing room ready for an intense hour of training.
"Morning Arai-chan. You're usually the first one here." Suzu greeted with the others.
Arai didn't think to greet her team. As she searched the fields for Umeko she meet Fuji's eyes and held her breath. She expected Fuji to say something to her relating to yesterday evening but lucky, Fuji didn't seem to be all that watchful of her and carried on to the courts with the team. Arai continued to search the courts for Umeko and caught her tormenting one of the year eight members. She needed to tell someone about what happened.
"Ume-" Arai stopped. Someone had a hold of her arm.
When she looked to her right she saw Yokoishi. "We need to talk, don't we Arai-senpai?" Yokoishi grinned, knowingly.
Damn! Arai forgot about Yokoishi abilities. She tried to pull her arm back but Yokoishi held onto her tightly.
"It's okay, I don't need to talk to you." Arai tried to explain and escape.
Yokoishi leant towards Arai and whispered in her ear. "I don't think you heard me. I said, we need to talk."
Arai thought about throwing Yokoishi off but she didn't want to cause a scene. Already Kikumaru was looking over at them. Soon the others would be walking over to see what was up. Arai let out a long and bothered sigh. There wasn't anything more she could do. She loosened the tension in her arm, allowing Yokoishi a moment of her time.
Yokoishi called out to Fuji and waved. "Fuji-senpai! Aneki just needs to spend some time with her senpai. We'll be right back!"
Before anyone could get an idea of what was going on, Yokoishi took Arai over to the outdoor water fountain. It was close enough that they could still be seen, but at a good distance that if they shouted the others wouldn't hear too much. Yokoishi let go of Arai and was quick with what she had to say.
"I think we've gotten to a point in our school year where we need to have a good old chat. When I look at you I see four colours… maybe five that are very weak. Orange, yellow, green, blue and violet. Now, because these events have already taken place, I'm allowed to… confront you. So, explain it to me, what happened yesterday after evening practise?"
Arai covered her hands over her forehead. "How do you always know these things?"
Yokoishi leant against the fountain. "How many times must I tell people that I am a-maz-ing? I'm amazing!"
Arai shook her head. "No, you… you must have heard. I was so loud yesterday and I didn't know what I was doing."
"Yes you did." Yokoishi corrected her. "You knew perfectly well what you were doing and have done. And I warned you not to upset her… so, tell me why? Even though I already know... I want to hear your words."
Arai for a second didn't know who Yokoishi was talking about. She narrowed her eyes, looked to Yokoishi and asked the question. "Upset who?"
Yokoishi dropped her shoulders. "Are you serious? We're talking about Fuji-senpai."
Arai tutted and turned to faced the other way. "Like I care… She had her chance and blew it."
"And, who are you to decide that?"
Arai didn't say anything because she couldn't. She just knew that she didn't like Fuji and that was enough to be a busybody. "I bet you haven't even spoken to Fuji-chan yet, have you? You're all the same. I'm sure you know what she did?"
Yokoishi poked Arai forcefully in her shoulder blade, making her turn around. "I know what everyone will do because I am born like that. Nobody can hide anything from me. But right now, we are not talking about everybody. We're talking about you! So let's hear it. Why did you do it?"
Arai crossed her arms and crouched down on the ground. She knocked her school bag over and covered her face with her arms. "Do what?"
Yokoishi went down with her and mimicked her word for word. "Because I like you! I really, really like you. So much it hurts."
Arai hit her bag. "You were there! I'm blaming you why I wasn't myself yesterday. You were deliberately picking on me and I-I… I just lost common sense. Saying too much. Damn!"
"Yeah, I guess I was picking on you. That's how annoyed I was with you because you have no idea what you've allowed to happen." She held her hands up to show her annoyance. "You've… you've allow more then just jealously to step in. You've messed with the flow, the energy… And it's up to this point that I can't talk about it anymore. But it makes me so angry at what you've done. Even if you had no intentions, what you have done will cause what is to come, to happen. You have no idea what Tezuka-senpai means to her and what she means to him. It's-it's more than just affection."
Arai felt a little uncomfortable, but didn't think she did anything to warrant this threat. "Everything that's happened is because of her."
Yokoishi poked her twice more. "You messed up her flow! You messed up his flow! She had everything under control. She knows him better then you and everyone else. Nobody understands him like she does." Yokoishi stood up. "Though it's not totally your fault – tell a lie! It is your fault, had you not given him that picture-"
"How did you know about that?" Arai stiffened.
Yokoishi didn't bother repeating herself. "Had you not had those motives it would never have turned out like this. I told you I wouldn't be on your side, and I really am not. But I will give you some light for all your efforts… I'll get punished for it, but" She turned to leave. "You will get what you wanted out of all this, whatever worth it may still have."
Arai now stood up and pulled Yokoishi back. Arai walked in front of her and had to ask one question. Arai could already see the disgust on Yokoishi's face. She didn't like it. She never thought Yokoishi, who was such a sweet and over zealous person could have such a serious and authoritative side to her. So much so that Arai couldn't challenge her eye-to-eye. Slowly her hand slipped from Yokoishi bare arm and dangled by her side.
"Just tell me one thing Yokoishi-san… Why does everyone treat her as if she's special? I mean everyone?"
Yokoishi paused in her response. She wanted to take in the downcast expression on her teammate's face. She glanced up quickly to the girls on the courts and found Fuji. Despite all that had happened, Fuji was still able to instruct the team, putting aside her flaws to make sure the girls were okay. Sure, she has been a little despondent at times, but that one time when she let a little of her dark energy out to help the girls understand what they needed for the tournaments, Yokoishi knew that Fuji understood her duty to the team.
Yokoishi found Arai's hands and held them in hers. "Because she is special."
"I don't want to hear that." Arai could barely speak.
Yokoishi hugged her. She was her 'aneki' after all. "The truth hurts, doesn't it. Listen to me Arai-senpai. There's no going back after this. We've gotta face the future as it happens but understand this: You and everyone else has not seen the real Fuji-senpai. Only the other day did she, accidentally, let me feel a bit of her real energy and it scared me. You, who doesn't even use her energy within, how do you expect to take her on?" Yokoishi laughed softly. "You are insane!" She pulled out of the hug and lifted Arai's head up from the chin. "This is the order on our team, in terms of energy: You, Taichi, Kikumaru-senpai, Suzu-senpai, Nariko-senpai, Jinhana-senpai, Umeko-senpai, me and at the top is Fuji-senpai… I'm warning you again Arai-senpai, please, just leave this alone. Just leave her. And leave him alone too… because… this can still have a happy ending if you leave him alone. I shouldn't say this, but… you have let someone dangerous into this circle."
Yokoishi suddenly shuddered when a distasteful energy engulfed her. She pushed Arai aside and shook her arms out. "How long have you been there?" She walked out a little to see Sai standing at the corner that divided the two courts.
He pushed himself off the wall and walked towards them. "I heard a confession of sorts and came to spy. But I see it is a confession of forbidden love. Is this what they call 'shoujo-ai'? Continue, I'm most fascinated. I believe you were about to kiss?"
Arai grabbed her bag. "Don't say obscene things, Sai-kun."
Sai wasn't interested in Arai and turned to Yokoishi. "I didn't expect this of you Rainbow-chan. Didn't think you, 'served for the other team', if you know what I mean."
Yokoishi shuddered again and stepped away from him. "There's something unsettling about you Sai-senpai and I can put my finger on it."
"Oh. Well, would you like me better if I were a girl? Just call me Yoshiko-chan if that helps." He smirked.
Yokoishi rolled her eyes and took Arai back over to the courts to get changed. Sai followed behind them hoping to find Oishi.
Arai went off to get changed and Sai kept Yokoishi company, though she didn't want it. Once she reached the courts she noticed Ryuzaki-sensei had slipped passed her… so they were already disciplining her for saying too much. Yokoishi shrugged her shoulders and got on with her training.
Fuji held a ball in her hand on court A. No one trained with her. She looked at the ball thoughtfully before flicking her wrist without releasing it. Fuji was about to release the quick twist on the ball when she heard Oishi call her. She glanced up and saw him standing beside Sai outside the courts. He didn't wait with Sai or wait for Fuji to walk up to him. Oishi approached Fuji on the court with a warm smile.
"Morning, Fuji-chan. Erm… Tezuka-kun said he'd like to talk to you. He's in Ryuzaki-sensei's maths room."
She gripped the ball in her hand but didn't show the slight unease she was feeling. When she turned up to Oishi, she smiled and handed him the ball.
"Thanks, Oishi-kun." Once he had it, she turned to go find Tezuka.
Oishi called her back. "Erm, Fuji-chan, do you want me to go with you?"
She blinked. "I'll be okay." And walked out the courts. None of the girls turned away to see why Oishi spoke to Fuji. It was normal for them that someone would take Fuji off the courts. On Fuji's way to the main building she came across Arai and noticed a bitter expression in her eyes. "Arai-chan, could you look after the girls. I don't know how long I'll be."
Arai didn't bother looking up. "You don't have to ask." And brushed past.
Fuji thought nothing of it. Arai was just being Arai! Fuji walked on towards the school building. When she glanced herself in one of the classroom windows, she realised she was still in her figure-hugging tennis dress. She paused for thought and carried on, surprising herself by how calm she was. Her mind and thoughts did not plague her like they did at the boys' Kantou games. She looked down at her hands and found they weren't shaking or cold or pale. She was fine. But that unnerved feeling, she did not want to encounter anytime soon.
She pushed the main doors open and walked down the empty corridors to the flight of stairs. Her shadows, her reflection and footsteps were all she saw and heard. Once she walked up the flight of stairs the emptiness began to echo, hum and whisper words she couldn't hear. Despite it all, she didn't feel alone. She felt something calling to her. It vibrated over the whispers and the humming. She pushed another set of doors open and the feeling of not being alone grew stronger. She followed it and it led her to Ryuzaki-sensei maths room.
Fuji placed her palm on the door. He was in there. She could feel it. She didn't knock. What was the point? She opened the door and his energy poured out of the room. It washed over her face and she knew what she needed to do, and it wasn't what she first thought. She walked in and saw him sitting on one of the desks with his arms flopped down in his lap. She locked the door and walked in front of him. Her footsteps were the only soft sound around them. When she stopped in front of him he didn't look up.
Fuji expected to be confronted with that same hostile force, but the energy that was coming from Tezuka seemed very tender, and it caused Fuji to reach her arms out and drew them behind his head. His hair, she threaded her fingers through. He allowed her. He closed his eyes and she pulled him closer and rested his head on her left shoulder. She then rested her cheek in his hair and they did not say a word.
Something told them not to speak yet. Maybe it was the echoes in the corridors that told them to greet each other peacefully or maybe the hums on the stairs wished for them to have a moment of togetherness. Whatever the reason, it was something that they both needed. It gave both Fuji and Tezuka time to listen to each other's breathing. It wasn't a surprise to them that they were in time with each other. They weren't surprised that their heartbeats rose at the same time and stayed at a constant beat. But what did surprise them was that they didn't want to destroy this moment by distorting the air with their voices - the very thing they needed to do!
Tezuka broke the silence first. "You won't run away, will you?"
Fuji had to follow. "I might. Maybe you should hold me." Even at such a time she could still be herself.
Tezuka unfolded his arms slowly and they found their way around her slim waist. He locked her in the little space between his body. He unbalanced her, making her step into the table, brushing his knees. Her smile grew and their heartbeats raised a little more.
"Are you angry with me?" Fuji asked while working her fingers gently through his hair.
"Perplexed."
She could tell he wasn't comfortable in her arms. The use of single words showed he was tense to some degree. The strength of her smile faded and she moved one hand down to the nape of his neck, running the tips of her fingers down the ridged bone and daring to go beyond the collar of his shirt.
"This whole thing should never have happened. Maybe I was over confidant in thinking I could ignore him. I didn't mean for you to hurt this much. That was never my intention." She said, hoping it was enough.
Her fingers on his bare skin helped, for the moment. "What was you hoping for?" Tezuka asked quietly.
She brought her hands back into his hair. "What was I hoping for? I wasn't hoping for anything. I felt in control of my situation and I didn't need to bother you with it. Kikumaru-chan wanted me to tell you but… I felt in control. If I feel in control I won't considered someone's hand." Fuji didn't know how true that might have been in recent days, but it was her initial judgement on the situation when it first reared its head.
"You didn't want my help?" Tezuka then asked.
She shifted in his tight hold. That wasn't what she was trying to convey. She definitely needed his help but how to tell him so he wouldn't hurt more then he is now?
"I came to you. That night I needed you and you alone. Your coat wasn't enough; you're… smell wasn't enough. It was your voice that composed me… I don't want you to stop being near me. If you don't know about it, it means we can stay like this."
"Fuji-san, I want to hear about it from you?"
She replied in a whisper. "…I can't."
Tezuka sighed and shook his head.
Fuji took a strand of his hair in her fingers and felt how smooth it was, and held him a little tighter. "I don't want to lose this."
Tezuka lifted his head off Fuji's shoulder. She had to move too. He adjusted his glasses before staring into her eyes. Again, only Fuji could see how distance and tired they were. Only she understood what those small veins in the corners of his eyes meant and she had to look away, but Tezuka followed her until she stayed with his gaze.
"Fuji-san," He paused, deciding whether to say it or not; he had to. "I already know about it."
She half-chuckled, half-cringed. "I haven't told you? How could you know?"
He shook his head slowly. "Someone told me."
She opened her eyes. Her energy, the one that Yokoishi felt, challenged the tenderness in the air and they began to fall out of sync. "Who have you been speaking with?" It's the only thing she now wanted to find out. There were only two names she would accept. If he didn't say Kikumaru's name or Yokoishi's name, Fuji would leave the room. She told no one but Kikumaru. Fuji knew Yokoishi knew about it, but Yokoishi wasn't one to interfere. So who else? The only other person to know would be Atobe himself, but, by the looks of it, he hasn't spoken to Tezuka about anything. Then who? Who would cause him to become this withdrawn?
Fuji turned away to look out the window. Someone out there was interfering. Tezuka caught her chin before she could focus on somebody and guided her back.
"Don't run away." He said, not allowing her a glance.
She no longer wished to be in the room with him, she had other things to tend to. "Let go." She held his right arm, wanting him to release her.
He refused and asked why. She wanted to push him away, but didn't know how he would response to the action, so she pressed her fingers around the sides of his arm. "Tezuka-kun?"
"We haven't finished."
"If you already know, what more is there to talk about? I… didn't want you to know…"
Tezuka only tightened his grip around her, reminding her that he wasn't letting her go until they had finished. He squeezed a little too hard, causing Fuji to let out a discomforted breath and place her hands awkwardly on his shoulders. There wasn't room to do much else.
Something clicked in her mind… they have never been this close for so long and, the annoying thing was, the peace they started with was now fading. Fuji looked down; her eyes reflected in his glasses. Tezuka turned down and did something odd. It was all right for him to have rested his head on Fuji's shoulder, but to rest the top of his head in Fuji's stomach shocked her. This was strangely close and her feelings began to twist within. (It wasn't a bad feeling, it was just unwanted at this time! Especially that she wanted to find whoever was filling his mind with nonsense.)
"That night," The feeling in her stomach didn't die down when his deep voice vibrated through the thin layer that was her tennis dress to the skin. "you wouldn't let me touch your shoulder. Let me touch it now."
She cleared her throat. "I had my reasons for not wanting you-"
His right hand stopped her. He had slipped his hand from her back to her waist with the same ease that she touched his hair with. It wouldn't have mattered had he not made her feel butterflies all over. Her heart rate began to rise and she felt hot all over. One hand stayed on her waist, the other he then lifted to place on her collarbone. His warm touch made her rigid. She could only focus on this movement. He flicked a look to her; have her eyes ever looked so unnerved? Good. He carried on. He moved his hand up and under the shoulder of her dress, hitting his nails into her bra strap. He pushed them both aside to uncover her skin. He leant back, giving her a chance to breathe and roll her shoulder and also allowed the light to catch the changed tone of the mark. He saw a faint reddening on the skin that confirmed the truth. He wiped his ring finger over it slowly and she closed her eyes. Fuji knew that for a long while that the mark burnt her every time she was conscious of it. And she understood when Tezuka moved his hands away from her shoulder and rubbed his ring finger over his thumb that it burnt him too. She now understood why their closeness was so slightly strange. In mind, he was nowhere near her…
Fuji pulled her dress up and took a deep, shaky breath. Those butterflies still fluttered. "Who told you?"
"Don't worry about that?" He still rubbed his finger; it was hot.
She rubbed the mark. "Did Kikumaru-chan speak to you?"
"I've not spoken to Kikumaru-san."
She tried to think who. He changed the topic of conversation. "What does that mark mean Fuji-san?"
"It's meaningless." She said quickly but lowered her head to hide her eyes.
She lowered her head because after she said it was meaningless she saw sadness in his eyes… or was it? The room grew misty; she couldn't read him; she felt two things and didn't know which one to pick. She didn't know if she should pick the external expression, which she couldn't read or the internal emotion, which she also couldn't identify. Tezuka slipped his hand from her waist back into his lap and she couldn't read him, yet felt a sudden dejection fill every corner of the room. It was so sudden that it confused her. Fuji didn't know what to say. She didn't know what she could do to change his mood.
"This is why I didn't want you to know. I can't help you if you're like this."
"And keeping it from me was better?"
"Are you saying you're better after knowing? I have my reason for doing this… There are times when… I can't read you and that annoys me, but what I do know is that you, Tezuka-kun… I know how passionate and sensitive you are. That's why I didn't want you to know, because you'd…". She didn't want to say it. The thought of him not being around scared her.
Tezuka now did what he told Fuji not to do. He turned and peered out the window but he wasn't looking at anyone or anything. It was the horizon that took him. "You said it was meaningless, do you mean it?"
"I mean it. You know I mean it"
With his eyes still on the horizon he said: "There are days when I can't read you, either."
She didn't know what to say. Tezuka calmly lifted his hand, inviting Fuji to hold it. She caught it and observed him. She knew he was toying with a thought that was not manifested by his own strength, and strangely, it was draining the both of them of their energy. They were losing their defences. For Tezuka, even though it was a whisper, the boy in him was still nattering away. And for Fuji, it was the leaking of that dark energy that scared Yokoishi.
Fuji peered down at his hand and asked how his shoulder was. Before he answered she felt something on the tips of his fingers. She waited. Maybe it was nothing.
"It's sore." He now looked back to her, but found her attention was not in his eyes but on the hand that touch Arai's hair.
There was something amiss with his hand. It wasn't the injury that bothered her, the slow flow of his blood or his stiff movements. It was something else. Something that was both strong and numbing. An aura. A negative one. It coated his hand. It bothered her. It bothered her so much that she brought her other hand up, turned his palm to her and wiped her hand over his, flicking away that thing that coated it. Fuji knew the smell of the energy but couldn't quite pinpoint the intent or who it belonged to. When she looked up to Tezuka she was unaware that he had leant towards her.
"Amazing." He whispered, getting closer.
Tezuka knew about the energy the girls used in their games. He understood the techniques they used and how that strong spirit that Oishi spoke about allowed them to perform their moves. Tezuka understood it because at times, he would tap into that spiritual natural of his to win his matches. By no means was it as refined as what the girls could do, but, because he could tap into it, he knew that his energy calmed and excited Fuji all in an instant. And that's what he wanted. He was glad and at the same time disappointed that she didn't go to him sooner. But she too was able to calm him down completely. Had she not placed his head on her shoulder and touched his hair and neck, Tezuka knew he could have easily let the distaste of Arai's actions overflow...
…but what he was glad about most was the fact she removed the feel of another girls hair from his hands, giving him a blank slate to work with again. It was odd, but his fingertips missed the feel of Fuji's short, soft hair. He missed it so much that he reached forward and touched it. First her bangs, then he worked his fingers through her side of her hair, just like she did to him, and he pulled her gently closer towards him.
Fuji's eyes shot open. She didn't expect this and lowered her head to block him. In a split second, she read his actions and she didn't want it. They tapped into each other's forehead and they stayed like that, with her left eyelash brushing over the lens of his glasses.
"What's wrong?" He whispered, trying to find her lips.
She avoided him and he kissed her cheek. She reddened at the sound and couldn't hide a shiver that escaped in her breath. She had to fight hard to not meet him. "Do you think I deserve this?"
"I don't remember saying you didn't."
She breathed out again. "But are you just going to give it to me, without me telling you?"
"Then tell me. I'll definitely give it to you."
Fuji bit her top lip. She couldn't resist, not when Tezuka was this close, not when he was already kissing her. The sound was too enticing to reject; His voice always captured her but when he whispered, it was too sensuous to turn away. She didn't know when but he had captured her all over and she couldn't gain her composed at all, less she really would miss her chance to get what she has always wanted. She brought her shaky hands up to hold the side of his head. Sod the fact that she didn't want to tell him! Forget the fact that he already knew! She wanted it!
"He was always there. At our tournaments… from the very beginning." She continued to whisper.
"Was he?"
She nodded slowly and he went with her motion. "It started with a card… and a rose, then his words."
"What did he say?"
"…He wanted me, or he'd break my foundations."
Tezuka deliberately slipped his hand down her bare arms back down to her waist, just in case she thought about holding something back. "Want did you give him?"
She couldn't answer straight away, too busy focusing on where his hands were going. "My… my foundations to break."
"You didn't give yourself to him?"
She could have hit him. "Never."
"What about that mark?"
"A theft steals things from people."
"So, you let your guard down?"
"Don't say that. I was interested to see what he would do…"
"Was it worth it?" He moved slightly to her right. She followed.
"…No. It was the way he said things. I wanted to see just what he would do."
"And what did he do?"
She looked at his shoulder. "He… he hurt you." Her whispers became soundless.
It was enough. Tezuka didn't want to hear anymore. He didn't understand why Atobe would provoke the both of them. Whatever he was trying to do, Tezuka didn't feel as if it worked. It was at the back of his mind, but he didn't know quite what Arai was up to.
He pulled back to get a quick look at her face. She was confused. Near tears. Tense. Not ready. A part of him wanted to see that she was sorry. He had already taken her command away from her and as long as she was sorry for what she did, he could easily forgive her. That was never a problem for him. He never wanted to be angry with her in the first place.
He took off his glasses, and leaned towards her slowly and stopped just before touching her lips. She held her breath and he knew she would. He waited for her to loosen up. He still ran his fingers in her hair and cupping the side of her face with the same tender touch. He brushed his nose over hers, and when she breathed out, he kissed her softly, just at first. Fuji held her breath again but not for so long. She breathed out that shaky and unsure breath and he kissed her for longer, breaking the length to fit in smaller ones. Fuji's initial anticipation quickly left her and she kissed him back, following his gentle pace before getting lost in the intensity and the taste of his grace.
That enticing sound of their lips parting made her not want to stop.
"More." She spoke softly, totally forgetting herself and reaching forward to find him.
"More? Promise me it won't happen again."
'It' meant everything. Tezuka didn't have to say anymore then that because Fuji knew he meant not to let anyone get close to her, not to be tempted by someone else's voice. In a nutshell, only he could get this close to her and no one else had better even know the sound of her heartbeat, let alone the touch of her flesh. She nodded – too lost to say words – and they kissed again. Great the first time, even better the second time.
"How do you feel?" He asked her.
"… Don't go."
He hesitated, and replacing his glasses. Where did that question come from? He didn't remember telling her he had to leave. He definitely was going to go. He didn't tell her because he knew the effect it would have on her. That's why he could so easily forgive her. She was only protecting his state of mind when keeping it from him and he had to do the same. Even though he knew she would find out in no time. He got off the table and she grabbed his shirt, keeping her head low.
Fuji was weak all over. Her mind was a flutter and she didn't want to be left alone when she was so light-headed and flimsy.
"Stay with me." She gripped tighter, knowing that her legs would crumble if he left.
"I need to talk to Ryuzaki-sensei. You need to practise for tomorrow too."
She didn't care about anything outside the room. She was finally able to tell him and he was okay with it – by okay, it wasn't without its concern and persistence but it was more then what she planned to say. She was happy with refusing to tell him anything and would have gladly left the room with him not knowing or hearing what actually happened.
Tezuka caught her hand and lead her to a chair to sit on. She was so lifeless that he thought maybe he should sit with her. Fuji slumped down on the table and hid her head in her arms. How on earth did he do this to me? She grumbled in her mind. She closed her eyes when Tezuka stood up and stroked her hair.
"When you get your strength back, you should go back to the courts."
"Arai-chan's looking after them." She said with little strength.
He repeated the name to himself, remembering that he had that picture with him. Thinking over it now, he couldn't believe how angry he was over it. So what to do with it now? He glanced down at Fuji again and couched down beside her.
"Since you did eventually tell me, I'll say this: The same person I've been talking to gave me this." He took the envelope out of his shirt pocket and placed it on the table in front of her. "The same person also told me a few things that should have remained unspoken. And it is for that reason." He didn't plan to say anymore.
He stood up and watched her for a while, motionless and quiet, before filling in the form to attend the rehabilitation centre in Germany rather then Kyuushuu where he might have gone had he not spoken to Arai.
"…Have we finished talking, then?" Her muffled voice was heard from across the room. Still lifeless.
He walked back over to her, pulled up a chair and lent on the table with her. He didn't touch her. He knew if he did she'd continue to be lifeless. He didn't even want to speak, less she fainted, and he really didn't want that. He glanced around the room feeling good about himself and stared at her arms.
"We've finished."
"…You're not mad with me any more?"
"Not anymore."
"I've never seen you so upset before… you scared me."
"Can you blame me?"
"I want to. You're not allowed to show me that expression again. But now what? Where do we go from here?" She sneaked a peek up from her arms.
"Good question. You'll have to be a bit more patient."
She uncovered more of her face. "What do you mean?" She saw the white envelope in front of her.
"It means I don't want you to be careless." Is all he would say about the matter.
She slumped back down. That was the last thing she wanted to hear. Whatever. She could forgive him this one time, she'd just have to behave herself when she wasn't at school and near him. That wouldn't be a problem if more of those breathtaking kisses were waiting for her. She signed lazily and listened for when Tezuka got up out of his chair to leave the room.
"See you on the courts, Fuji-san."
She waited for him to close the door before she pushed herself off the desk and breathed out loudly. "To leave me in such a state. No fair. You can use 'chan' now, you know." She said to herself, but maybe it was better that he didn't. How smitten would she be if he ever did use 'chan' with her first name? Nope. She decided 'san' was fine for the time being.
Tezuka still left her bewildered and absentminded that she didn't know if she could go back to the courts for the rest of the day. She brought her hands up to her face to snap out of the mood but only made the images stronger when she thought about it all over again. Her efforts to leave the room were no good. Fuji flopped back down on the desk, spreading her arms out in front of her.
"So not fair." She muttered.
Fuji brushed the envelope and took it in her hands in case it fell off the table. And she stayed like that for ten minutes. If she wasn't in her tennis dress, she would have stay in the room rethinking for the rest of morning practise. Better get up, she thought as she slide herself off the desk and onto her feet. She couldn't get him out of her mind and sluggishly carried herself to the door. She peered down at the envelope in her hand and wondered why she was carrying it. Is this what Tezuka left behind? She dropped against the wall, opened it and had a look. She took it out of the white envelope and tossed the wrapper in the bin. She held up the photo trying to make out what it was.
When she saw herself she opened her eyes, causing that razor blade-like stare to pour over the room. "Oh I see… this is how you found out. Sneaky… very sneaky. Whoever you've been talking to must not like me. Foolish, little girl."
She didn't care enough to get angry over it. Instead, that sadistic smile crept onto her warm lips before twisting into a smirk, reminding her why she had to leave the room.
She would definitely find who would cause her Tezuka to have distant eyes.
…tbc…
A/N2: Wow. That was really hard. But I did it. Yay. (o^-^o). Rushed ending but I don't wanna fixing it… (-,-)
Ah, you guys, did you really think that I would let Tezuka... with Arai... and then they'd…? You did! Oh! Maybe… maybe I should change it so Tezuka and Arai lock-lips too! (^3^)*chu.
*Going to see red: Means to be annoyed or irritated.
*Save face: To avoid being disgraced/humiliated/embarrassment. (Atobe-san should be a master of this!)
We've had the rise. Now it's time for the fall.
Chapter 54: No time to figure things out. It's time for the Kantou games! (I'm hoping at least…)
Thanks for reading. x
