BAU Life
"Hey, Reid, did you hear something about a new guy starting today?" Tara asked throwing a ball of paper to get Spencer's attention.
Batting the paper away he looked up from his files, more amused than annoyed. "I know what you know which isn't much."
JJ scoffed, "But he's your husband? Don't you ever talk with him?"
"Just because I'm sleeping with the boss doesn't make me privy to every decision around here," he responded, trying to keep his voice even. JJ had been especially sharp towards him since their altercation on the flight home from a case a few weeks ago. He had not been treating her any differently, but her attitude towards him could at the most polite be described as frosty.
Tara laughed, ignoring JJ's snarking. " He didn't tell you about the new guy starting?"
"Nope, he usually leaves topics like that for me to learn through the grapevine just like everyone else. Sometimes I wish he would give me warnings but in the end, Hotch is entirely too fair," Spencer said. "Now, if you don't mind, I'm going to get back to work until the time comes that the new guy gets here if there is a new guy at all."
Matt and Tara took that as their cue to focus back on their consults. JJ, upset that Spencer wasn't baited as she had wanted, flounced out of the bullpen and to the kitchen for coffee. Soon, everyone was lost in their work and thoughts of any new teammate were forgotten.
Just before calling it a day, Spencer looked up, stretching. He was about to open his mouth to ask what everyone was doing over the weekend when movement at the elevators caught his eye. Garcia was stepping off the elevator, a young Hispanic man following behind smirking at the exasperated expression gracing the technical analyst's face. As he watched the two make their way into the bullpen, Spencer found that his heart had leapt into his throat and he couldn't breathe, let alone talk as introductions were being done. With a strangled gasp, he pushed back from his desk and with a halting gait, stiff from not moving all afternoon, he fled from the oncoming duo to his husband's office.
Rushing through the doorway, he slammed the door behind him and slid down until he was sitting on the floor, left leg stretched out awkwardly as he attempted to curl himself into a ball. Almost immediately upon his entrance, Aaron was rising from his desk and moving towards the younger man. As heart-wrenching sobs and gasps for breath were all that he could make out, he knelt down slowly, moving cautiously so as not to further frighten Spencer. A gentle hand on his shoulder and suddenly, his arms were filled with his hyperventilating husband.
Spencer wasn't even aware that he had climbed into Aaron's arms. He was transported back to that sunny afternoon when his life had completely changed. He was no longer sitting on the floor of the BAU unit chief's office, he was bouncing along in an up-armored humvee taking notes. He could smell the dust and the oil, he could feel the weight of the armor that he wore. He could almost see the sun baked dirt out the small dusty window. He didn't hear anything that Aaron was saying, he could just hear the rumble of the engine and his own heart pounding in his ears. He knew what was going to happen. He knew it and couldn't do anything to stop it. He tried to scream but it came out as a strangled whimper.
Right when he knew that the pain was going to hit, right before his world went dark, he felt the strong arms engulfing him. He tried to struggle but the arms held firm. They cradled him and were a spot of warmth as fear had chilled him to his bones. He slowly began to realize that there was no pain, there was no darkness. He was not back in Iraq or even waking up again in Germany. He was in Virginia, in Quantico, at the FBI offices of the BAU. With that realization, the dam broke. Spencer clung desperately to the man holding him, sobbing.
For the next few minutes, all Aaron did was murmur quiet words, trying to soothe Spencer. Eventually, the sobs and heavy breathing quieted down into small hiccups and small huffs. When he thought it was safe, he pulled back enough to smooth Spencer's hair out of his face and to look at him, trying to assure himself that Spencer wasn't physically hurt. It was obvious though that something had upset him more than anything had in quite a long while. "Hey now, what's wrong? What happened, Love?"
Spencer leaned into the tender touch of his husband for a moment before scooting back, trying to put distance between the two of them as he remembered what had driven his frantic escape to this office. "You, how could? Why didn't you? I had to…" he started multiple thoughts but was unable to finish any single one.
"Take a deep breath, what did I do? What didn't I do? What happened, Love?"
Spencer tried to take a deep breath, his chest shuddering with the effort of calming himself down. "Why didn't you tell me about the new agent?" He attempted to glare, focusing all of the pain and anger he was feeling towards the unit chief sitting beside him on the floor.
Surprise colored Aaron's face, "You mean Agent Alvez? I thought word had spread throughout the entire section that we were getting a new agent from the Fugitive Task Force. I know you miss Derek, but even Garcia is taking the loss of her Chocolate Thunder better than this."
"He was there."
"Who was where?" Aaron prodded gently.
"Alvez, Alvez was there."
"Alvez was where?"
Frustration at not being understood lit a fire in him that burned through the other emotions waring in his chest. Spencer clumsily pulled his pant leg up to show off his left leg. "He was there when this happened. Luke fucking Alvez was part of the convoy security team that went with us to do the assessment. He was there. He saw it happen. He was there…"
As quickly as it had come, the burning fury in him died leaving him emotionally spent and limp in Aaron's arms. There was absolutely no way that Aaron could have known. Spencer had never mentioned the names of anyone there outside of his Seabees that had been wounded or killed. Iraq was a large country, tens of thousands of US service members had been in and out. Even if Aaron had known Agent Alvez's military history, what were the odds that he had been there simultaneously with Spencer? It wasn't Aaron's fault that he was blindsided by the new agent causing him to have the flashback and panic attack.
BT
Down in the bullpen, no one moved at first. Stunned by Spencer's sudden departure, they all looked nervously around before Luke broke the silence. "So um, who was that?"
"That, Newbie, was my boy genius, Doctor Spencer Reid," Garcia said. Glaring at him just because he was the Newbie and NOT her Derek Morgan.
A thoughtful look passed over his face, as though he was trying to place the name. "He didn't spend any time in the military, did he?"
"Why do you care?" Garcia demanded.
"I care because I think I remember him. He did some time in Iraq, right? About 18 months ago? Give or take a bit. I'll never forget him," Luke replied calmly. "There was this tall, skinny, nerdy, Naval officer who somehow managed to get himself and his entire unit invited backstage to the USO show. Once there, the actress was hanging all over him. It was mind-boggling. I still want to know what his secret is."
Tara and Matt shared looks of disbelief. "Spencer Reid hanging out with movie stars? I might not have known him very long but I just cannot see that happening. Especially if, as you say, they were hanging all over him. I've only seen him respond positively to a very select group of people touching him," Tara replied.
JJ, however, looked thoughtful, "Was it Lila Archer?"
Luke whirled around to face JJ, "Yeah, how did you know?"
"Well, she and Spence have a bit of a history," shrugged JJ. She wanted to look nonchalant but there was an obvious giddiness to her demeanor that showed that she was happy to know something that no one else did.
"He said something about meeting her on a case but that wouldn't explain their interaction. I've met a lot of people on cases and well, that wasn't just gratefulness," Alvez continued.
"Well, they were a bit of an item after the case was over. It didn't work out though," JJ gloated.
"Who would have thought Reid would have it in him to date an actress," Matt said. "This was before he and Hotch got together, right?"
"Isn't Hotch the Unit Chief?" Luke said looking confused.
"You bet your booty, Newbie. He and Reid have been married for a couple of years now. Don't get all wound up though, Rossi handles Reid's evaluations. There hasn't been a problem with them working together yet," Garcia responded. She narrowed her eyes at Luke, "There won't be any problems, will there?"
Looking properly cowed, Luke stuttered out an agreement. Once Garcia was mollified, conversation drifted away from Spencer and towards Luke and his history with the Bureau. No one seemed to notice that neither Spencer nor Aaron came down to greet the newest teammate.
BT
Aaron could not wrap his head around how stubborn Spencer was being about the new agent. Yesterday, after the flashback, he had refused to leave the office until it was confirmed by security downstairs that Agent Alvez had left the building for the day. While it was understandable given that Spencer was still recovering from the panic attack and didn't want to face the trigger again so quickly, it did not justify Spencer's current actions.
Right now Spencer was sitting on the couch in Aaron's office. He had his files for the day spread out across the low coffee table and was taking notes on a legal pad propped on his lap. His coffee mug was precariously balanced on the small tray that also held Aaron's coffee pot. All in all, it looked like Spencer was settling in for the long haul. According to his earlier statement, he was. He was adamantly refusing to work in the bullpen until Agent Alvez was no longer there, essentially threatening to not leave this office until Luke was removed from the team.
Well, Aaron could be just as stubborn as his husband which is why he was no taking drastic action. The team might be on stand-down for the next week in order to catch up on paperwork and get their newest member up to speed, but this break would not last forever. Agent Luke Alvez was part of the team and the two men would need to deal with it. Luckily, the problem only seemed to be on Spencer's side; Luke just seemed as confused as everyone else as to why Spencer was actively avoiding him.
Aaron desperately wished he knew why Spencer was refusing to see and work with Alvez. From all the reports and letters of recommendation, the guy was a damn fine agent and would be a wonderful addition to the team. He was more than qualified to serve as the 'muscle' that was Derek's speciality. So, something needed to be done. The team needed Alvez and the team needed Reid. As unit chief, there was only one thing to do. With a few strokes of his keyboard, he had set everything in motion to get this sorted out.
Taking a cautious sip of his coffee, Spencer looked over the rim of the mug to where his husband was shuffling papers and occasionally glaring at him. He knew he was coming across as selfish and childish, but he really wasn't ready to interact with Alvez. The man had been there, been responsible for the security of the convoy, and what happened? They ran into a fucking IED, killing and injuring a lot of people. Who was he to be responsible and walk away from that kind of security breach? There was no way that Spencer was going to absolve the soldier from his responsibility for what happened over there. Besides, all he could remember of the guy before the convoy was the incessant questions he would ask, in particular about Lila. The man didn't even think to respect the no conversation before coffee rule that was in effect for Spencer.
That is exactly why he was hiding out in Aaron's office. He didn't want to deal with the man, especially in situations where he would have to have his back. Honestly, part of him wanted to go out there and show him what his negligence in securing the convoy route had caused but he also didn't want to have that kind of stand off in the middle of the bullpen. No, this was something very private. As Spencer had no plans of having a private conversation with the insufferable man, it meant that the conversation was just going to have to wait, forever.
The knock on the door was not unexpected, Aaron was the unit chief after all. What was unexpected though was Agent Luke Bloody Alvez stepping into the office with naught but a casual "You wanted to see me, Hotch?"
"Alvez, yes, thank you, come in," Aaron said standing from behind his desk. He was studiously ignoring the daggers that Spencer was shooting from his eyes. Whatever this was, he should have been warned so he could have left before Alvez came up. "Agent Luke Alvez, I'd like you to meet Dr Spencer Reid, the final member of our team."
"LT Reid, right? I remember you. We met back in the DFAC in Iraq, right?" Alvez said taking a step towards the couch were Spencer remained glued to his seat.
Ignoring the outstretched hand, Spencer rose stiffly. "Yes, we did." He turned his attention to his husband who was looking both guilty and proud at the moment. "Agent Hotchner, may I have a word in private?"
Sensing that he was treading on thin ice, Aaron made the hopefully correct choice. "Actually, I have a meeting with Section Chief Cruz in a few minutes. We can have that private word after my meeting. In the meantime, I think that you two need to talk. The office is yours for the next hour."
Both Luke and Spencer stared unbelievingly at Aaron as he slipped out of the office, shutting the door behind him. The first one to break, Luke turned towards Spencer. "So, what's going on? I feel like I'm missing something?"
"You feel like you are missing something?" Spencer laughed bitterly. "Ha! That's hysterical."
"What are you talking about?"
"I'm talking about this," he said as he viciously yanked his pant leg up to show off the prosthesis.
Luke's eyes widened in shock, "Fuck. Did that happen...you were part of...fuck."
Fury was raging in Spencer's eyes as he stood before the other man. "You did this. You were responsible for the security of the fucking convoy. You didn't do your damn job. People were killed and injured because you didn't do your damn job. Do you really think that I want to work with you again? Do you really think that I can trust you to have my back? To keep me safe? You certainly did a spectacular job of it the last time."
As Spencer had moved slowly towards Luke, he had found that he could do nothing but fall back into the seat at Hotch's desk. "You were part of that convoy? The one that hit the IEDs on the way back?"
"Yes, the one for which YOU were assigned route security."
"And you blame me for not properly securing the route?"
"Hallelujah, he is finally getting it!" Reid crowed throwing his hands up in a gross mimicry of praise.
"That route was as fucking secured as it was going to get. All of the intel that we had indicated that the rebel forces who had been laying the IEDs had moved west. You don't remember that the reason that the convoy dates shifted included the need to resend EOD (explosive ordnance disposal) teams out to clear the route? There was no way in fucking hell that I could have known that the IED was there. Hell, we had come out using that same route and none of our lookouts along the way saw signs of anyone planting anything after we had passed by in the morning. It was a goddamned fucking fluke that the convoy hit it."
Reid was gobsmacked, "You sent EOD out to clear the route before the convoy?"
"Yes! Even though we had good intel on the groups moving out of the region, we weren't going to leave it to chance. My team and I did everything we could to keep you safe. Are you seriously holding this against me?"
Feeling slightly cowed under the onslaught of facts, "Yes. You were responsible for security, we got hurt. People were killed," he finished softly.
Standing up and stepping into Spencer's space, "Yes, people were hurt, people were killed. It was fucking war, Reid. We did everything we could, but shit happens and things go wrong in war."
Spencer nodded numbly, "That's what my therapist keeps telling me. He keeps telling me that it wasn't my fault. That I didn't set the IED. I didn't drive over it. I am not responsible for the acts of war from the rebel groups."
"And do you believe that when he says it?"
"Not usually," Spencer said automatically. "They were my sailors, my responsibility. I know that I could have and should have done more to bring them all home in one piece. Hell, I didn't even do enough to bring myself home in one piece."
"Fuck man, you have got some issues," Luke said, hoping that Spencer's fury had died down and was going to be receptive to the joking tone that he used.
Spencer wasn't sure if he had heard Luke right. Did he just say that Spencer had issues? The guy barely knew him! How dare he...oh...as he replayed the comment in his mind he realized that it was meant to be humorous. "Uhh...yeah, umm..I guess?" he said grimacing in an attempt to smile at the weak humor.
"Look, I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that you have some deep seated issues with my being on the team. Not only was I there when you were injured thus dredging up all sorts of shit that you are still dealing with, but I was in a position that you can easily use me as a scapegoat for what went down, am I right?"
Spencer nodded and so Luke continued. "That means that you have been avoiding me because you don't want me on the team because you don't trust me. If I got you blown up once, what's to say it won't happen again? Look, man, I get it. I'm happy to be used as a TEMPORARY scapegoat but you have got to work out these issues man. You don't think I've been working them out too? With my own therapist? Shit, your list of issues probably pales in comparison to mine."
"Oh, you are also having to deal with the shit of being handicapped?" Spencer snarked. It was clear that the worst of the storm had passed between the two men. It was now time to see if they could find some sort of common ground.
"Easy now, this isn't a contest…."
"And if I wanted it to be? Winner stays on the BAU team?" Spencer started to smirk.
Holding his hands up in a defensive posture, Alvez tactically retreated a few steps away from Reid. "Whoa there! I thought we were making progress!"
"We are. Can we just agree that this is not going to be easy?"
Luke looked thoughtful, "It's not going to be easy for either of us. No offense, but everytime I see you now I'm going to be reminded of how fucking lucky I was. Shit, man, I'm going to need to schedule some extra sessions with the VA therapist. I could very easily have been in your shoes and that is messing with me already."
"And Aaron is likely to force me to extra sessions with my therapist over all this. Obviously, I'm not handling this as well as everyone thought."
"Obviously."
Spencer looked towards the office window where the blinds were drawn tightly. "Do you think we can work together?"
"I don't know. Do you think we can?"
He looked away from the window and towards the eager young agent. "We shall see. In the meantime, Aaron is so going to pay for this." He paused, "Welcome to the team?"
