The Psychic, The Swordsman, and The Sorcerer

Chapter 53

I don't own Naruto (Masashi Kishimoto), X-Men (Marvel Comics in association with 20th Century Fox), Zorro (public domain despite what Zorro Production Inc. would like you to believe), or Harry Potter (J.K. Rowling in association with Warner Bros. Studios). Fun Fact: In the second X-Men film, Pyro's lighter has a shark on it as a reference to Bryan Singer's love of Stephen Spielberg's Jaws.

When Hana arrived for dinner, she was shocked to see Itachi staring blankly ahead, as if he had received a revelation that he was not prepared for in the slightest. Rolling her eyes at his latest overly dramatic behavior, she snapped her fingers in front of his face, causing him to look up, startled.

"Hana, I thought you weren't going to be here until six..." he said in surprise.

"It is six," she responded dryly, pointing at the clock on the nearby wall, "What's with the nervous breakdown?"

"Why didn't you tell me that Naruto Uzumaki had painted the Hokage Monument orange?" he asked.

"Oh, yeah!" she nodded, "I forgot that you weren't here that one! He painted it in broad daylight and got away to flip the Hokage Tower upside down, and do... well, I don't know what, but he did something to the Anbu toilet paper supply..."

"Do you know what this means?" Itachi asked in a false calm.

"That the Anbu toilet paper isn't as easy to get to, anymore?" she asked, suppressing a smirk at his eye twitching.

"No!" he exclaimed, "It means that we've been dethroned as the masters of pranking, like how we dethroned Iruka and Anko! And we weren't dethroned by Academy students at the top of the class who we taught the craft to! Oh, no... We were dethroned by a single kid who's now a construction company!"

"Well, he is technically a reserve genin," Hana supplied, now legitimately smirking at his agony. She still hadn't completely forgiven him for not letting her in on the secret of his innocence.

"We need to find a way to top that!" Itachi declared.

"Don't you dare," she said, narrowing her eyes, "We've been knocked off the throne, and we need to accept it with dignity, like Iruka did, not with grand gestures that will inevitably backfire like Anko did. Besides, he can get mean with his pranks. In the weeks before Zabuza and Haku moved in with him, he had been in a bad mood because of a sore throat and burned shops that over-charged him for that classified secret of his as revenge pranks..."

"Fine..." Itachi groaned, before perking up, "Since I didn't make dinner, do you want to go out tonight?"

"Sure," she shrugged, "But nowhere too fancy..."

"Of course not," he smiled.


Meanwhile, high above the village, a flaming telepath and a wizard on a broomstick were flying side-by-side in the moonlight.

"So, any luck figuring out how Zorro's horse works?" Sasuke asked.

"Whenever I try to pry into that part of his mind, all I get is 'Tornado is a good horse,' as if he genuinely thinks that's all that anyone needs to know on the matter..." she responded, "Any luck with figuring out the sunset thing?"

"I thought it was related to what Gai and Lee, do, but that turned out to be a dead end, since theirs is a mix of genjutsu and a legitimate taijutsu technique, neither of which can be done on a horse, or without special training by Gai, himself, and we both know that Zorro doesn't use chakra that way..."

"True," Sakura replied, before saying, "I'm getting hungry. Want to stop for dinner?"

"Sure," her not-quite-her-boyfriend-yet replied, "Got anywhere in particular in mind?"

"Not really," she shrugged, "I'm fine with pretty much anything."

"This is why I don't like getting a meal with you," Sasuke sighed, "You have all that mind power, and you never choose a restaurant until after I've thought of going for a different one..."

"Then you should start thinking of one," Sakura replied cheekily, "Come on. We don't have all night, Sasuke-kun."

"I think you've taken one too many trips through Zorro's head," he teased, before setting to work thinking of where they could go, "He's starting to rub off on you."


Elsewhere, Zorro was sitting with Hinata under the stars, a picnic blanket spread out beneath them and a basket in front of them as they ate.

"And on the third day, we finally found Kiba, and he had somehow been crowned King of the Lummoxes," Hinata stated, concluding her story "He was so proud of himself that Shino, Akamaru, and I vowed to never tell him what a lummox was."

"As I respect Kiba as my friend, I will assume that he earned the title by being the smartest one there," Zorro stated, "Rather than the other possible way that he could have received it."

"As someone tied with Shino for the title of his second best friend," Hinata replied, "And as someone who saw the army of lummoxes that crowned him, I'm not going to even try to guess."

"Fair enough, mi amor," he replied, handing her a homemade cinnamon roll, "Though your tale of the lummoxes reminds me of this one misadventure that we had because of Sakura."

"What happened?" she asked as he took one for his own.

"Well, it began simply enough," he grinned, "One week after the incident with the troll which, as you know, was the moment that we three became best friends, Sakura demanded that we inspect the classroom that used to be just before you reached the door to the roof. Sasuke and I had protested, Sasuke because he did not wish to have to deal with something that could be easily avoided, and myself because I simply wished to take a nap at the time. The night before, I had found Tornado, you understand... But Sakura insisted, and we did not wish for her to burn the school to the ground with all of the people inside of it if she was startled, so we agreed to oblige her. You would not believe what we found when we entered that particular classroom. If not for the fact that I was there, I wouldn't believe it..."