Rachel couldn't believe how incredibly stupid she was.

The signs had all been there, now that she thought about. She recalled one time during Glee when Quinn had slipped and both Puck and Finn had rushed to her side, both asking her if she was all right. She remembered seeing the blonde Cheerio confer with Puck on numerous occasions. And she vaguely recalled Finn telling her that Quinn and him had been in a hot tub with their swimsuits on when they had consummated their relationship.

A hot tub. Honestly.

Slamming the door behind her, Rachel sunk down to her knees and wrapped her hands around her legs.

Finn isn't the father.

Puck had looked so serious, so sure when he had said the words. Rachel had felt the tiny bubble of normalcy that she thought they had built up around them burst with his words. Her chest had squeezed and burned and she had thought why? Why was it always Quinn? Perhaps if it had been any other girl (maybe) Rachel would have felt less hurt, less angry, less sad. This wasn't anything like how she had felt when she realized that Finn was never going to leave the blonde Cheerio. No. Knowing that Puck had…had…

Oh God. Even contemplating it was too painful.

Rachel scrubbed at her eyes, hearing her hitching breaths echo around the empty house. She buried her hands into her scalp, feeling her fingers dig into the thin skin under her hair. Absently she heard the roar of Puck's truck and the sound of wheels scraping against road.

How could he have kept this from her? Had he known about this before they started dating? Had he known that the baby was his when word had first gotten out that someone had knocked up Quinn Fabray? Why was he letting Finn pretend that the child was his?

The questions spun around inside her head, making Rachel dizzy. The deep bite of her nails drawing blood made her flex her fingers and for a moment she embraced the sharp sensation, letting herself get lost in it. She didn't know how long she sat there, just sucking in deep, loud gulps of air that drowned out everything else around her. She couldn't think, didn't want to think that the boy who claimed to care about her had conceived a child with Quinn Fabray of all people.

A light, continuous rapping on the door made Rachel scoot backwards.

'Berry. Open the door.'

Of course he wouldn't respect her wishes. Of course he would come back after she had clearly told him to leave her alone.

'Go away!' Her voice was shrill and raspy. Swiping her hands against her cheeks, she felt the tears dry sticky against her skin.

'No. I'm not going away,' Puck insisted and Rachel thought he sounded frantic. 'I…I need you to open this door so I can explain.'

Balling her fists, Rachel whipped the door open. Puck took a reflexive step back but stood his ground.

'You want to explain?' She practically hissed and the resentment boiling underneath her skin caught her by surprise. 'Please. Please shed some light as to how you've been lying to me-'

'I haven't been lying to you!' He protested and Rachel gave a derisive chuckle because really?

'Puck-'

'Don't call me that.'

'Puck,' she repeated, enjoying the way he winced. 'Did you or did you not know you were the father of Quinn's child before we commenced our relationship?'

'Yeah, okay, when you put it that way-'

'Is there anything else you've neglected to tell me? Was this an entire thing some kind of joke to you? Oh she'll never be as good but perhaps Rachel Berry would be willing to be some kind of inadequate substitute for Quinn-'

'Shut the hell up Rachel,' the vehemence in his tone took her by surprise and the anger now evident on his features was dark and stormy. 'That shit isn't even remotely funny.'

His words seemed to deflate her and the anger ebbed away though she tried to grasp at it with the tips of her fingers. She wanted to stay mad because then she wouldn't feel this ache radiating from her chest down to her toes.

'Then why?' She sounded broken and defeated and Puck wanted to hit something, someone.

'We were drunk and Quinn wanted me. And back then I thought she was what I wanted. But she isn't, she isn't,' he insisted, inching closer and suppressed sighing with relief when Rachel didn't flinch back. Her eyes were still on the floor but Puck could tell she was listening.

'She's having your child,' Rachel whispered. Puck wondered if it was okay to touch her but decided that it wasn't worth the risk.

'Yeah, she is. But she doesn't want anything to do with me. Why do you think she's going around telling everyone Finn's the baby daddy?'

'And you just let her?' Puck tried to ignore how defensive she got when Finn was mentioned. He swallowed the annoyance down before speaking again.

'Fuck no. The day I found out I told her I could provide for them both and she called me a piece of shit with no fucking future.' It must have been the self-deprecating tone that made her look up. 'One minute she wants me to help, and the next she's pulled a complete one-eighty and tells me to go fuck myself.'

'So being in a relationship with Quinn hadn't crossed your mind?' Puck thought it was progress that she wasn't speaking softly anymore.

'At first I thought we could be one big happy family. But then…' I met you, 'I didn't really care about Quinn. I wanted the baby inside to know that her father wasn't some deadbeat Lima Loser who bailed when things were tough. I'm not my dad and I sure as hell don't fucking roll that way. The only reason why Quinn even talks to me is because I haven't breathed a word about how I'm the father. If I did…' He trailed off, that cold numb feeling he got whenever he thought about Quinn shutting him out of his baby's life spreading through his body.

'Look this entire situation is fucked up. And when we got together, suddenly you were the only good thing in my life. And I knew once you found out the truth you were going to leave. And I know half the time I pretend, but Rachel…' Puck felt his eyes burning and blinked rapidly.

Rachel heard the pleading note in his voice and her heart softened slightly.

He doesn't care about Quinn. He wants the baby.

'Okay,' she murmured and Puck stepped forward hesitantly.

'Okay?' He asked.

Rachel nodded her head, sucking in air through clenched teeth. 'Yes. I'm going to need time to process this and wrap my head around it.'

'What about us?' He asked and he sounded so unsure of himself that any other time Rachel would have laughed.

Rachel shook her head, not wanting to meet his eyes. 'I need you to give me time Noah.' She ignored the way he relaxed when she called him by his given name. 'And that means spending time apart. Because while I perhaps understand why you didn't tell me, the fact remains that you didn't.'

'But I did just then,' he reminded her, digging his hands into the pockets of his letterman jacket.

'Nonetheless I need to…reevaluate,' she searched for the right word. His face shuttered and Rachel thought she could see him pulling away from her, as if recoiling.

'Yeah. You do that,' he said flatly before bending down and picking up the pink binder by his feet. 'You left that in the car. Let me know when you decide if I'm a Lima Loser or not.'

She curled her fingers around the binder, watching as he turned around.

'Noah. Noah-'

He twisted around and there was something buried behind his eyes that made Rachel hold her breath.

'I wanted to tell you myself. If Quinn finds out I told you, I might never see my baby girl. But I thought you deserved to hear it from me,' he told her, voice rough and uneven.

She was still mad, Rachel told herself, but the ache was now transforming into something different as she watched her boyfriend slump further down as if the weight on his shoulders had only gotten heavier.

'Let me know when you've reevaluated,' he said shortly and Rachel grimaced.

He sounds as if he doesn't think I'm going to stay.

Are you?

He's having Quinn's child. He slept with Quinn.

But he's been doing everything so that he can have a chance to know his daughter. Can't you see that?

I can.

Then tell him you're going to stay.

Are you?

Rachel looked down at the binder in her hands, frowning when she caught sight of Puck's messy scrawl above her name. He had struck out her name and replaced it with Sweet Caroline instead. Hugging the binder to her chest, she traced the curve of his back from the porch, unmoving.

Rachel was a teenage girl who had gotten her heart broken by a boy.

But Noah Puckerman wasn't just any boy.

It was something she could feel in her heart and in her mind and in her very soul. And it was also why it made everything that much more unbearable.

Yes, she thought, she was going to stay. But she also needed to leave so that she could.

a/n:

I expect everyone who reads this to leave a review. Pretty please? More reviews = faster updates. Promise.

And Shiva'sGirl, this is for you

And no rolley2001 I do not want you in the hospital. That would be bad.

NEXT TIME, ON NORTH:

Will Jose help bring our favourite couple back together, or drive them apart?

Will Kurt be able to resist once he is offered a chance to team up with someone from Glee?

What will happen with Quinn and Finn?

Will Mercedes finally get some lovin'?

Where are Brittany and Mike?

Will Rachel find herself alone at the Spring Formal?

FIND OUT ON THE NEXT INSTALMENT OF NORTH!

Oh my god! That was SO beyond lame. Please forgive me. I'm sleep deprived due to my viewing of the Arsenal v Villa game this morning. This resulted in a 0-0 draw whereby our first choice centre half got his leg broken and we dropped two points in the title race. Bleargh.

And they named Mark Salling Worst Dressed on Fashion Police! I was like noooooooooo! Okay I totally got what they said about the suit needing to be more tailored but he hates the mohawk too! He can't shave it! Leave him alone! Boooo!

And dudes, totally check this out:

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And ah! TIVA! TIVA! TIVA! Oh Tony, you are FTW. Seven seasons and I still cannot resist the DiNozzo charm.

Question: How has NCIS or Supernatural NOT won any awards? I'm talking Globes, Emmys, People's Choice? Or have they and I just didn't know? It's an injustice is all I'm saying.