I'M BACK! Did you miss me? Aha, joking of course you did... right? Yes, my mocks are all over and done with so that means that I get to write a sad chapter about our favourite characters, because that seems like a fun thing that normal people would do... Ok, so here is chapter 49! I KNOW, THE NEXT CHAPTER IS CHAPTER 50! 50 chapters is a lot of writing... so make sure you review for a chance to have the 50th dedicated to you!
This chapter is dedicated to katniss525 (guest) for the reviews, sorry I couldn't update sooner! ( I would also like to thank the guest that left the review "What the Finnicking Hawthorne that cliff hanger was huuuuuuuge" just for the A+ Character name use :D )
Don't forget to Follow/Favourite/Review!
DFTBA
Madcapscribbler x
Screaming. That's what normal people do in situations like this right? When in a state of pure panic, most people scream or cry or make some kind of noise, but I don't. I look at Peeta and feel myself physically shake. I look around the room and feel the scratchy fabric of the hospital bed below me. I am tired and drained of energy, but I won't and can't go to sleep, even if the doctors think it's best.
Peeta places his hand on mine; he's sitting to my left on a rickety stool by the bed. I have to hand it to them: The doctors of district 12 do a lot with such poor conditions. I want to cry, but I feel like all of my emotions have been pulled out of my body, along with my voice. I continue to shake, the movement getting so uncontrollable that Peeta has to pull me into a hug, forcing me to stop. He's shaking a little too, his breath wobbling as he exhales.
"She's going to be ok, she's ok. You're ok, you're fine" he keeps mumbling into my collarbone. I don't mention it, but I feel a tear fall onto my skin; Peeta is crying. My body still aches from hours ago. I didn't scream or shout or anything, I just concentrated on everything that might go wrong.
The worst bit is: I wasn't even allowed to hold her. I wasn't allowed to take in every aspect of her face. I wasn't allowed to comfort her, to protect her. I wasn't allowed that moment; she was taken away from me as soon as she was born. Peeta told me not to worry, that she was fine, but the doctors told me everything. They didn't want to but I was restless and stubborn and that's how I got answers.
She has weak lungs, so she can't breathe easily. I asked them if she'll be ok. Nobody answered my question, but they did say "We'll do the best we can do"
After what seems like hours of silence, Peeta finally says something.
"I love you. I'm sorry" He rushes his words and his voice cracks and I just know that he's trying desperately not to dry.
"Why?" I whisper, too weak to speak properly and too sad to speak out loud. I turn my head to face him slightly; he looks broken and tired and as weak as I feel.
"I…" He slams his mouth shut as if he doesn't want to speak before opening it again gingerly. "I could live with myself if I killed my brother. If I had killed him when he kissed you. I could have done it and lived with myself. But if I've killed our little girl, then…" he puts his hand up mouth; his fingernails digging into his jawbone. "…Then what's the point. Who am I?"
"You didn't kill her, Peeta, why would you think that?"
"Do you not find it weird that I was shouting at you and then all this happened? And if she was born next month, she would be fine…"
"Peeta, it's not your fault, look at me." I take one of his hands in mine. "She's going to be… everything is going to be ok, ok?"
I watch as a few tears roll off of Peeta's cheeks. He wipes them away with the back of his hand. I want to tell him to stop, to just stop crying but I can't. He's been there behind me, to catch me if I fall, for so long I don't remember a time before then, but now it's my turn to walk behind him; now it's my turn to be there for him and I don't know what to do. What can I do? I'm not allowed to get up and out of bed – not that I'd have the energy, but still – I want to get up and run, run away into the darkest part of the woods and scream. My demons have left me for so long that I no longer know how to handle their return. I feel as if I'm being sucked into the void; I'm shouting but no one can hear me. I just want her to be safe. I must start shaking or something, because Peeta comes into the room with two doctors. I was too deep in thought to notice his absence. One of the doctors holds me down while the other places an uncomfortable mask over my face. Suddenly, warm, heavy air is forced into my lungs and everything goes blurry. I can only just make out the distress on Peeta's face before everything fades.
When I wake up, I have to blink my eyes before they focus. I turn to my right, to look at who I think is Peeta; which is why I get a bit of a shock when I find Finnick sitting on the rickety old stool. My confusion must appear obvious because he gives me a little smirk.
"You don't look so good, Everdeen." He jokes.
"…uh, Finn?"
"That's my name"
"What, erm, where… what's going on?"
"You mean why am I here? Or where is Peeta?"
"The second one. Um, no both"
"Peeta called just as I was helping Micah escort a very hung over Rye into the bakery. I picked up the phone and he told me everything so I sorted everything, informed Olivia and Adrian, they're now looking after Rye and Micah. Then I legged it here as quickly as possible."
Finnick speaks so cheerfully, it makes me feel worse. I don't tell him this though, because there is something hopeful in his eye, and who am I to tear the seams of his happiness. When I don't respond, he starts looking around the room. There is something about him, some kind of twisted innocence that I can't explain. I wonder what it's like to know both good and bad. He admits that the Capitol isn't 'his kind of place' but surely it's better than the districts. He seems happy enough to spend time with us poor sods though, left to rot before the government and the rich.
"So where is Peeta?"
"He's with her."
"What?!" I ask so fast that I'm out of breath by the end of the word.
"You heard me."
"I want to see her, where is she" I say hurriedly practically jumping out of bed.
"Woah, woah… calm down Kitty Kat." Finnick says as he places two hands on my shoulders and gently pushes me back down. "You're not allowed up yet. The doctors still have to do a few tests before you can see her."
I'm too tired to argue, so I fold my arms in protest and sigh. The room is quickly filled with slightly uncomfortable silence and Finnick returns to looking around the room. He looks so intensely at everything, which is odd considering the room is so small and empty; there really isn't much to look at.
"Did I ever tell you about the Laurel trees?" he asks without looking at me.
"What?"
"The Laurel trees." He repeats, turning his head to look at me. "There are these trees in 11, Laurel trees, did I ever mention them"
"No, but why would y-"
"They're these really weirdly beautiful trees, with pale green leaves and thin trunks and they sort of grow in sphere shapes. They are just these little trees that start out so tiny and weak looking but they grow up to be just as beautiful and strong as all the other trees; stronger, even. They just stay alive no matter what"
I smile a little because Finnick knows exactly where he's going with this.
"Finn…" I smile at him a little, "I like the name Laurel too."
So guys, you remember how this works, leave me a review (perhaps a question about the name or something?) and I will chose the one that made me smile/think/had the most impact on me! Love you guys, I'm glad to be back! x
