Velvet Lea, 17, First Female (District 8)
I sit in a ball, legs tucked up to my chest and my arms wrapped around them, tears streaming down my face. My sobs are loud - too loud for me to be fully safe right now if another tribute appeared - but I can't control myself. Today, I saw so much death, and I hated it - I hated it.
Days like this one should really make me grateful that I actually still have my life, but in reality, they make me feel the total opposite: they make me long for my own death.
I know for a fact that I shouldn't be here any longer. I'm not brave, I'm not skilled in any way... most of all, I'm plain terrified. I mean, try putting any other untrained 17-year-old girl into somewhere where she has to fight to the death and see how she fares. My bet is that she'd be just as scared as I am right now. I mean, for fuck's sake - I'm a model, not a fighter! No matter how many times I convince myself that I'm more than just that, I always end up getting dragged back down to being just some pretty little doll for people to look at. Can the Capitol honestly say that they ever thought I stood a chance at winning this thing?
I might be just as beautiful as the victors are, but I'm not like them in any other way. That just keeps on becoming more and more apparent to me as time goes on.
Seeing that little boy kill that other tribute this morning was evidence enough of that. A braver, more deserving tribute wouldn't have even flinched. But me? No, I ran away in fear. Surely that alone says enough about me.
It says that I am a coward, and a worthless, worthless human being. My courage is seemingly non-existant, and though a month ago I would have disputed it, I now know that courage and strength are far more valuable than grace and beauty could ever be.
As much as I have changed, I know that I shall never get anywhere even remotely close to the other tributes when it comes to my bravery.
I don't deserve to be here anymore. Far more worthy tributes than me are dead, so why aren't I also? Chances are, I'll never find out... but it cannot hurt me to wonder.
Petra Silverwood, 17, First Female (District 2)
"So..." Darryn begins, the focus of his gaze constantly switching between Lyndon and I.
"So what, Darryn? Cat got your tongue, has it?" I ask in frustration. The boy's a teenager - you'd think he'd know how to speak properly by now, wouldn't you?
My youngest remaining ally blushes, and he doesn't immediately continue. Eventually, he does finish his words though. "I was just wondering about what happens now. I mean, so many people just died, and although that's a good thing for each of us individually and all, it means that our time as an alliance is surely more limited now - am I right, Petra?"
I nod, knowing exactly what he means. Traditionally, at a certain point, the Career alliance splits. And despite the fact that I know that it is inevitable eventually, for now I feel much safer with people watching my back for me. Especially when said people are trustworthy, like he and Lyndon seem to be. So I say: "Yes, Darryn. That's something we'll have to deal with when the time comes. For now, I don't think we need to worry about that. We have some time left." He nods, as does Lyndon. "Good," I say. "Now that's sorted, let's go and hunt some tributes."
I begin to walk, but I soon realise that I'm not being followed by my allies. Though it annoys me, I am careful to keep a straight face so that it doesn't show. "Why aren't you walking?"
There is an awkward silence before Lyndon finally gives in and talks. "It's just, we're both tired from the feast, Petra. Surely one night off won't do any harm? You and Darryn already have kills from today, after all..."
I deliberate what she says, but in the end, I shake my head. "The other tributes should all still be relatively close to the cornucopia tonight. In the morning, they are likely to scatter. It's our best chance, regardless of what you two want right now. Come on." And with that, I start walking, and soon, I can hear my allies' groans and reluctant footsteps behind me.
Sebastian Renier, 16, Second Male (District 4)
The tears still won't stop coming. They're still falling from my eyes in such a large quantity that they may as well be miniature waterfalls. I'm aware of how loud my sobs are, and I know that they could easily land me in serious trouble... but right now, I couldn't care less. Because I killed her.
I curl my fingers into a fist and punch my forehead once... twice... three times... and then I lose track of the amount of times my hand makes contact with my face, but then I suddenly stop. Though I have no real idea why it happens, images of loved ones back home appear in my head, constantly replaying over and over again.
Landry is the first person who I 'see'. He's frowning at me, and for a moment I wonder why. But then I look down at my hand and even though it may be night, it isn't yet too dark for me to be able to make out the crimson liquid coating on my knuckles. For some reason, it just makes me cry even harder. Elle wouldn't have wanted to see me like this, and though I doubt that the cameras are focused on me right now, I know fully well that if the people back home were able to see me right now, they would be horrified. Well, other than Minnie, of course, though I've recently been doubting whether she ever loved me at all, or if it was all just an act right from day one.
Though I keep desperately hoping that it isn't true, I am beginning to see just how likely the latter really is. I was truly naïve not to see from the beginning that she was only ever using me, that I was nothing more than a pawn in her game. After all, why else would she force me to enter the Hunger Games if she didn't want rid of me, despite everything?
It's just yet another thing that causes my tears to fall even faster. Honestly, this is just getting ridiculous now - no teenage boy should ever act like this. But then again, no teenage boy should ever have to stab his vulnerable friend to death in front of the entire nation, so I guess I'm an exception to the rule.
NO DEATHS THIS CHAPTER
KILL COUNT:
Mason: 4 (Vernon, Scoria, Eucalyptus, Scintillaea)
Tiara: 3 (Platinum, Giana, Charming)
Petra: 3 (Charity, Pepper, Troye)
Monique: 3 (Fiyero, Taylor, Kiora)
Rhoena: 3 (Thomas, Brietta, Risetto)
Arminta: 2 (Persimmon, Orchid)
Invictus: 2 (Natalie, Glair)
Lyndon: 1 (Malachi)
Ally: 1 (Centra)
Sebastian: 1 (Ellia)
Darryn: 1 (Bug)
Lennon: 1 (Radia)
Rowan: 1 (Kozuki)
