Sorry this has taken a big longer to come, but I hope it was worth the wait. Thanks as always to my terrific reviewers Hollie, Aileen, Georgie, Em, Littlebit100 and Krissie. Enjoy!
Two days after James was born, Michelle finally made it in to see her newest grandchild. Jess was sleeping when she came in, so she sat quietly in the chair next to the bed and pulled out her knitting. She'd been there for an hour when Jess finally awoke, her mum being the first thing she saw.
"Hi." she said quietly, yawning and stretching. Her mum smiled at her, immediately getting up and hugging her daughter.
"Hi mummy. Congratulations darling." Michelle said, kissing her. She handed her a card, and Jess noticed another bouquet of flowers on the dresser.
"Thanks mum. The flowers are gorgeous as well." she said appreciatively.
"Oh they're not flowers, look closely." Michelle said, picking up the bouquet and bringing them to Jess. What Jess had assumed were blue and white flowers were little pairs of baby booties and mittens, twisted to look like flowers. The "foliage" was made up of tiny sleep suits, wrapped around the rest of the arrangement. It was the cutest thing Jess had seen.
"Wow, where did you get this? I love it! Thank you!" Jess said, kissing her mum.
"You're very welcome. I ordered it online; it's from me and your brother. Now then, how was the birth? Callum said you had to have a c-section. Did it go ok?" Michelle asked, settling down again, knitting as she spoke.
"The birth was pretty traumatic if I'm perfectly honest. I don't think I've ever been so scared before. I was bleeding, that's why I had to have the c-section, and they got James out ok, but he wasn't breathing. I didn't get to hold him before they took him upstairs. And then I started bleeding out. The doctor said the bleeding was that bad that they were considering a hysterectomy." Jess recounted, her hands clasped in her lap.
"What?" Michelle asked in shock, the clacking from her knitting needles paused.
"Yeah, it was pretty serious apparently. I don't remember a lot of it, just that I felt so weak and that I still hadn't seen James. But the doctor managed to stop the bleeding just in time, so thankfully I didn't have to have a hysterectomy. But, she did say there could be scarring, meaning it could be hard for us to conceive again." Jess said sadly.
"Oh love, I'm sorry. But at least James is safe and healthy, and you've come through it stronger than before. When are you going to be released?" Michelle wondered.
"In five days. James is going to be brought down later today; they said he's made a brilliant recovery. The paediatrician said he can be released with me if he stays as he is." said Jess happily.
"Have you held him?" Michelle asked. Jess nodded, rifling through the items in the drawer next to her bed, looking for the photos she had of her son. She passed them over to her mum who immediately started cooing. "Oh he's beautiful petal, he really is. He's going to be a right charmer when he grows up." Michelle gently wiped the tears from her eyes. "I wish your dad was here."
"Me too." Jess said softly. "Mum?"
"Mmmm?"
"I dreamt of dad and Luke the other night. Dad said he misses you, but he's always here with us. He wanted you to know that." Jess said carefully, trying to conceal the shake in her voice. Michelle nodded, her eyes shut, her head bowed. Jess slowly got out of bed, wrapping her arms around her mum, hugging her tight.
When the rain is blowing in your face,
and the whole world is on your case,
I could offer you a warm embrace
to make you feel my love.
Callum walked into the briefing room just as the Inspector and Smithy were finished dishing out the orders for the day. As he walked in, the relief started to clap. Smithy came over and shook his hand.
"Congratulations papa Stone." he said with a wink.
As the clapping died down, Callum began to speak, "Thanks everyone. Now, you all probably know by now that Jess and I are new parents. James Oliver Stone, also known as Jamie, was born by caesarean on the first of November. He weighs just under seven pounds and is the most handsome baby you'll ever see. I brought some pictures in for you all as well. Oh, and I'd just like to say thanks for the bits you all bought for the baby and all the cards. We're really grateful." As Callum finished, the relief crowded round him, women at the front, wanting to see pictures of the baby. While they were all cooing over the newest member of their family, Sally approached Callum.
"Congratulations sarge." she said warmly, hugging him.
"Thanks Sal." Callum said kindly.
"Is Jess up for visitors? I wanted to give her some distance while she recovered, but I'd love to see her." Sally asked.
"Um, I'll ask her when I go back later, but no doubt she'd love to see you." Callum nodded.
"Oh good. Is she ok? I know that it all happened quite quick, but how's she coping?" Sally asked.
"She's getting there. You know how she is, she'll get through it. She's mainly just sore from the surgery, and she gets a bit tearful sometimes, but the doc says that's normal." Callum answered.
"Right. Well if it's ok with her, I'll pop in tomorrow on my way home from work." Sally confirmed.
"Yeah brilliant. Oh Sal? Before you go I have a favour to ask..."
When the evening shadows and the stars appear,
and there is no one there to dry your tears,
I could hold you for a million years
to make you feel my love.
"Mrs Stone?" Zoe said, peeking her head round the door. Jess looked up just as the plastic cot with her son was bought into the room, parked next to her bed. "If there are any problems or you've got any questions, let me know ok?"
"Thank you so much." Jess said sincerely. Zoe smiled and left the room. Michelle got up out of her seat, walking slowly round Jess' bed to set eyes on James. As she bent down, he woke up, looking up at his granny with big eyes.
"My word, look how handsome you are! You take after your granddaddy that's for sure!" Michelle whispered to him. "May I?"
"Of course, he loves being cuddled." Jess said with a smile, moving her legs so her mum could sit on the bed with the baby. Michelle gently lifted Jamie out of the crib, settling him in her arms before sitting on the bed. She smiled at him, whispering to him, rocking slowly side to side. James' arms reached up for his granny, trying to tug her hair. His tiny hand wrapped round a loose strand, gripping it hard. Jess laughed, reaching forward to disentangle his hand from her hair.
"I can't believe how tiny he is!" Michelle said, breaking her gaze away from Jamie to look at Jess.
"Well he was nearly a month premature, but the doctor said he was a fairly good birth weight all things considered. Mum can you just watch him while I have a bath?" Jess asked.
"Of course darling, if you need a hand, let me know." Michelle answered with a nod.
"Thanks. I think he's besotted with you already." Jess said as she stopped in front of her mum and son. She kissed Michelle on the cheek gently stroked James hair then walked into the bathroom.
I know you haven't made your mind up yet,
but I would never do you wrong.
I've known it from the moment that we met,
no doubt in my mind where you belong
Back at the station, Callum had just explained his thoughts to Sally.
"So you want to redecorate the house in the week that Jess is in hospital? Can I ask why?" Sally asked as she perched on the table.
"Well, obviously it was my house before she moved in, so it was all decorated in a pretty standard way. I just thought that she might like to come home to a newly decorated house before Christmas." Callum replied.
"Ok, so has she said that she wants it redecorating?" Sally asked.
"Well no, but I thought that now Jamie is here, I just want her to have somewhere that she can chill out and block everything out. Even though she's been living with me for over a year now, I want her to feel more like it's her home, if that makes sense? I mean, I know that her stamp is all over the house, but I just wanted to do this for her. So I want our bedroom redecorated, and the living room." Callum explained.
"I'm in, but if she hates it, I had nothing to do with it!" Sally said with a grin.
"Brilliant, now I just have to get Will and some of the others on board to help. So I'll see you tonight then? Cheers Sal." Callum said, giving her a grin as he left to return to the hospital.
I'd go hungry; I'd go black and blue,
and I'd go crawling down the avenue.
No, there's nothing that I wouldn't do
to make you feel my love.
Jess and baby Jamie were due to be released in two days, and Callum was panicking that the house wouldn't be finished. The living room had been re-painted, with the wall with the fireplace on painted a navy blue, and the other walls a light dove grey. He'd bought new navy leather sofas, and some contrasting bright pink pillows. A new feature mirror had been hung above the fireplace, and on the wall opposite, Callum and Sally had created a new photo wall, with the first photos of Jamie mixed in with his parent's wedding photos among others. To say that Sally was impressed with Callum's ideas was an understatement. She mentioned this to him as they were adding the finishing touches.
"Well, this wasn't my idea." Callum said gruffly.
"What? Of course it was!" Sally laughed.
"No it wasn't. When Jess first moved in and we were talking about redecorating, she gave me some examples of what she'd like, and this was how she wanted the living room. Same with the bedroom as well." Callum explained.
"Blimey, I tell you what, if she ever gets bored of being a cop, she could make a nice living from being an interior designer! Maybe I can convince her to do my place!" Sally said, impressed.
"I know this was how she wanted it, but do you think she'll like it? Do you think it's suitable for Jamie?" Callum asked worriedly. He had thought this was such a good idea when they'd first started, but now he wasn't so sure. What if Jess was angry that he'd spent so much money which they could have used for the baby? Or what if she hated it, and her ideas of how she wanted her dream house to look were completely different?
"Callum, quit worrying, she'll love it! I think Jamie will approve as well." Sally said kindly. It was then that the doorbell rang, signalling Will and Nate's arrival with pizza and booze. Callum walked down the hall to let them in, shivering at the bitter wind.
"Don't panic, the masters of decorating are here! Stand aside lowly plebs." Nate said, striding in, kissing Sally as he set the pizza down on the new grey slate and oak coffee table.
"No! Don't put that on there! Get a mat!" Sally squealed.
"God Sally, chill out!" Nate said, rolling his eyes as he got a mat. "Better?"
"Much, thanks." she said with a grin, kissing him again.
"Come on guys, cut it out!" Will said in disgust as he dumped his scarf and gloves on the sofa. The couple pulled apart with a giggle. "So, what's on the agenda for tonight?"
"The bedroom." Callum said with a nod.
"Oh sarge..." Nate said in a fluttery high pitched voice, giggling. Callum responded by throwing a pillow at him.
"Shut it you. All the paint is up there, and some of the furniture has arrived, but we still don't have a bed. If that doesn't come before Jess and the baby get home, I am royally screwed." Callum said with a sigh.
"Not in a good way either, eh sarge." Will said, nudging Callum.
"Will, I'm warning you." Callum growled.
"Alright alright, easy sarge! Let me have some food and a beer, and I'll start painting. Come on Nate, put Sally down, dig in to the pizza." Will said, shaking his head at his best friend.
"If your girlfriend was as hot as mine, not that you're lucky enough to have a girlfriend anyway, you would find it hard to put her down!" Nate said sagely, slumping on the sofa next to Will and grabbing a slice of greasy pizza.
"Get plates!" Sally squealed.
The storms are raging on the rolling sea
and on the highway of regret.
Though winds of change are throwing wild and free,
you ain't seen nothing like me yet
Jess rocked Jamie slowly in her arms, watching as his eyes slowly drifted shut, his hands fisted on his chest. She pressed a feather light kiss to his forehead, inhaling the beautiful smell of babies. He smelt of baby powder and pure innocence. As Jess lay back with him snug in her arms, her mind drifted to Luke's birth, and how she felt when she first held her baby in her arms. She smiled to herself, noting how similar Jamie looked to Luke at the same age.
"Are you going to be a bruiser like your big brother?" Jess whispered quietly into the tiny whorls of Jamie's ears, "I think you're going to be just as handsome as Lukie, it must be my genes, eh? I love you so much already baby, and so does daddy, and your granny is smitten! You don't know how special you are. I can't wait to bring you home with me and daddy, and we can take you to where we work as well, at the police station. Everyone wants to meet you and hold you, and that crazy lady who runs the place wants to make you our good luck charm! You are loved, and you are safe, and you'll forever be our darling boy. I love you James Oliver Stone."
I could make you happy, make your dreams come true.
Nothing that I wouldn't do.
Go to the ends of the Earth for you,
to make you feel my love
to make you feel my love
Callum stood in the doorway of Jess' private room, unable to take his eyes of the scene in front of him. There was his wife, his beautiful golden haired wife, his strong willed, stubborn, loving wife. And in her slender arms was his son. His heir. All he could see of Jamie was a tuft of dark blonde hair peeping out from the soft blue blanket wrapped around him. He stepped quietly into the room, reaching the bed and gently picking up the wrapped bundle. Jess sighed quietly, rolling over. Callum sat down slowly in the chair next to the bed, Jamie balanced in his hands. As soon as he was sat comfortably, he carefully placed Jamie over his left shoulder, rubbing his back. The quietest burp escaped the baby's lips, causing Callum to shake with silent laughter, trying really hard to keep in the laughter so as not to wake his wife and son. Once the laughter had subsided, he placed the baby on his lap, Jamie's head rested on his father's knees, his legs on his father's chest. Callum unwrapped the blanket, as if unwrapping a precious present, and just marvelled at this miracle that he had helped to make. Becoming a father was the single most amazing and scary thing that had ever happened to him.
I could make you happy, make your dreams come true.
Nothing that I wouldn't do.
Go to the ends of the Earth for you,
to make you feel my love
to make you feel my love
Two days later, a week after Jess had given birth to Jamie, the new mum and her baby were due to be released. Callum had said that he'd be there to pick them up just after ten in the morning, citing that there were things he had to do first. Jess had looked at his suspiciously, about to question him, but Jamie had started crying, demanding her attention. By the time the baby was settled again, she'd forgotten all about it. Both Jamie and herself had a final check-up, the doctors wanting to make sure they were fit for release. Jess had finished dressing Jamie in his coming home outfit of a blue velour sleep suit with an embroidered bear on, complete with white scratch mittens and a white hat. On the bed was a padded blue bodysuit, ready to put on him for when they left to go outside in the harsh November winds. Jess was just having a quick shower, massaging her still sore stomach. She sighed as she took in the lumpy marked mass that used to be her stomach. She knew that she wasn't going to snap back to her normal slim self straight after the birth, but she was hoping that she'd look better than she did. Well, Callum sure wouldn't be getting any action for a while. As she thought that, a smirk crossed her face. She'd enjoy winding him up about it. Once she was washed, she towel dried her hair, quickly plaiting it, and applied some mascara. She pulled on her underwear, and then put on her loose grey jogging bottoms coupled with a deep purple hoodie. Done. She looked at herself closely in the mirror, immediately wishing she hadn't. Hopefully this self-loathing would pass; otherwise she'd just have to smash all the mirrors in the house til she was over it. She walked out the small bathroom, going to check on Jamie. He was waving his fists in the air, his legs making quick work of untangling himself from the knitted blanket his gran had made for him. Jess laughed as she scooped him up, smiling widely as he stopped fussing and nestled his face into her body.
"You're my little greedy guts aren't you baby." she laughed, walking round the room with him, making sure she'd packed everything up. She couldn't wait to get home and just relax in her living room on the old squishy sofa, with Callum next to her. Just as she was placing Jamie on the bed, Callum walked into the room, his hands behind his back. As he walked over, he produced a bouquet of pink tulips.
"For my lovely wife." he murmured as he hugged her tight, just holding her. Her arms wrapped around him, feeling the broad planes of his shoulders. She had missed this.
"Thank you husband, they're lovely. Now, I've waited long enough for this moment, so can we go home?" Jess asked, her eyes glinting.
"Of course we can darlin'. If you want to put the bodysuit onto his lordship and I'll carry your bag." Callum replied, kissing her cheek. Jess picked the baby off the bed, dressing him in the bodysuit. "You may want to put on a coat and scarf, its cold out there."
"I'll be ok; we'll be in the car. As long as Jamie is warm, that's all that matters. Let's go say goodbye to the midwives and doctors on the way out. Did you buy a thank you card?" Jess asked, following Callum out of her room.
"I did, and I put a picture of Jamie in there for them as well." Callum answered, placing the envelope with the card in on the reception desk. He waved to Zoe and Dr Mathieson on the way out, who quickly made their way over to the family.
"I bet you're sick of this place now!" Zoe said with a chuckle, gently stroking Jamie's hand.
"I won't miss the uncomfy bed, but I will miss the people." Jess said sincerely. She'd grown fond of Zoe and the doctor over her time spent there, and was sad to leave in a way.
"Well, at least you're leaving us in a healthy state with your beautiful son." the doctor said, rubbing the tiny baby's cheek. "Any problems at all, give us a call. Good luck!"
Jess waved as they left the ward, making their way out of the hospital and to the car, ready to go home.
I could make you happy, make your dreams come true.
Nothing that I wouldn't do.
Go to the ends of the Earth for you,
to make you feel my love
to make you feel my love
Callum had been strangely quiet on the journey home, and Jess' suspicions had returned. There was something he wasn't telling her.
"What have you done?" she asked suddenly, making him jump. He paused as he indicated and pulled out of a road.
"I haven't done anything, I don't know what you're talking about." he answered as nonchalantly as he could.
"Callum Stone, don't lie to me." Jess growled.
"Ok, I may have done something, but it's a surprise. Promise me you won't hurt me?" Callum said with a small laugh.
"Depends if it's a good surprise or not." she replied, hiding her smile. As Callum drew to a stop in front of their house, she eyed it carefully. The only thing different so far was there was a welcome home banner on the door, and in the front bay window she could see banners reading "Baby boy" on them. Callum got out the car, taking Jess' bag and placing it in the house before coming back to the car. He opened her door.
"Madam?" he said in a funny voice, extending a hand. She took it, smiling as he helped her from the car. She shut the door while he walked round the car to get Jamie. He cradled the baby carefully in his arms, watching every step he took on the way into the house. Jess was just behind him, and once they were both in and the front door was shut, Jess took a deep breath in.
"Have you been painting?" she wondered, looking at him. He grinned at her and walked into the living room, Jess at his heels. She stopped in the doorway, taking in the new navy sofas, the freshly painted walls, the gorgeous mirror above the fireplace, the bright pink cushions and curtains. Callum watched her closely as she moved around the living room, touching the walls and the curtains and the sofas.
"What do you think?" he asked quietly. Jess looked at him, her eyes wide in surprise.
"You remembered." she said with a laugh. "You remembered about what my ideal living room would be like, and you did it for me! Oh Callum, thank you so much, it's gorgeous!" Jess skipped over to him, leaning up, careful of the slumbering baby in his arms to kiss his stubbled cheek.
"That's not all. Let's go upstairs and put Jamie in his crib, I've got something else to show you as well." Callum said, leading Jess up the stairs. They went into the nursery first, Callum gently taking off Jamie's bodysuit before placing him into the crib that Robert made for his new grandchild. He turned on the special light which cast stars across the room as well as the baby monitor before pulling the door to behind him. He took Jess' hand, told her to close her eyes as they walked the short distance down the hall to the bedroom. He placed her in front of him, whispering in her ear to open her eyes. She looked around in disbelief, not believing that this was her bedroom. Gone were the pale green walls, replaced with plum coloured walls, accented with silver flowers. Gone was her oak bed, replaced with a low bed with a black leather headboard complete with purple bed covers. Her dressing table was still there, and the dresser was the same but had been stained mahogany instead of the original oak. There was a black rug on the floor, and at the windows, hanging over the white venetian blinds were dark purple organza curtains. It was beautiful and strange all at the same time.
"Where's my green chair?" she asked, referring to her plump, green velvet upholstered chair that she'd had since being a teen.
"It's in Jamie's nursery, don't panic. So do you like it?" Callum asked worriedly. Jess nodded, and turned to hug him. He rubbed her back comfortingly, inhaling her unique smell. They stood like that for a long while, just enjoying being in each other's arms in their own home again. It was as things had been before all the tragedy had begun, ending with the joyful arrival of their son.
"It's good to be home." Jess whispered.
"It's good to have you home. It wasn't the same without Jess. You are so tightly wound into my life that I can't bear not having you here, even for a few days, even when I know that you'll be coming back. I hate being apart from you." he said softly, his voice coming out slightly gruff as he aimed to hide his emotions.
"Then we won't be apart again." she said with a dreamy smile, holding his face in her palms.
Song: Make You Feel My Love- Adele
