January 2002
When the cab pulled up to his parent's house, he was a little stunned to see Adriana walking towards him. His parents were throwing him a thirty fourth birthday party so his family was at his parent's house in Queens. He wondered why Adriana was walking alone and why she looked so upset. He figured maybe Christopher had pissed her off somehow.
"You okay?" Joey asked as he stopped her in front of his house.
"I've had a really rough day," Adriana said, looking down at the sidewalk. He looked up at his house, then grabbed her hand and walked her away farther down the street.
"What's going on?" Joey asked.
Just then Adriana burst into tears, sobbing hysterically on the sidewalk. Joey looked around, alarmed. He hugged her as she was shaking, it reminded him a bit of Rachel. So he kept thinking of the things that made Rachel cry and maybe he could figure out why Adriana was crying? In his head, he began a list of the reasons Rachel cried and they were: fights with Ross, Ross in general, pregnancy hormones, Chandler on drugs or when he was on drugs, puppies, videos of cute animals doing cute things, Brian, running out weddings….although, that only happened the one time….Monica and Chandler's wedding, although that also only happened the one time, listening to Phoebe tell any story about her life, sad movies, scary movies, romantic comedies, that stupid commercial with animals in cages even though he had told her many times that the animal in cages commercials would not make her cry if she changed the damn channel, when she found out about her Uncle Rick molesting children, also that too only happened the one time... good things happening to her or to her friends, bad things happening to her or her friends. He soon landed on the simple fact that Rachel cried too much and he would never be able to use that to figure out why Adriana was upset.
"You fight with Ross?" Joey asked.
Adriana looked at him, confused as she cocked her head to the side. It was worth a shot.
"What?"
"Never mind," Joey said.
"I-I had a really rough day," Adriana said.
"If you change the channel, the stupid commercials with the animals in cages won't make you cry," Joey said.
"What the hell are you talking about?" Adriana asked.
"Sorry, my friend Rachel cries a lot."
"Yeah, I don't think she's ever cried for this reason, just guessing."
"Well, tell me what's wrong and I'll let you know."
"I'm an FBI Informant," Adriana said, letting out a long breath.
"Okay, yeah, Rachel's never cried because of that….what?" Joey asked.
"I was becoming friends with this-"
"Wait, are you wired now?"
"Joey, I just you told I was an informant so no….I'm not wired, see," Adriana said lifting up her shirt to give Joey a look before putting her shirt back down.
"Okay," Joey said, "now...what?"
"I met this woman and I thought we were friends, turns out….she works for the FBI and I need to give them information about the Sopranos and everything or else they'll throw me in prison and….okay, after Big Pussy died-"
"Wait, he died?" Joey asked, ignoring the name. Yes, if he had been playing with Ross and Chandler the jokes would be endless but something told him that he shouldn't be making the jokes now. Big Pussy or Sal as Joey remembered him was one of Tony Soprano's best friends from childhood. Joey knew he had been out of that world for a long time but had he really not realized this. Sal had died? How come no one had told him?
"Tony killed him after realizing he was an informant and shot him and threw overboard."
"But that's Tony's best friend. They've been friends since they were kids."
"Yeah but guess….I don't….but I have to get info because then they'll throw me in prison."
"Why?"
"See, they wanted to go after you, Joey. But they couldn't….I guess you got to one of the cops and….everything was old and-"
"Officer Gary," Joey remembered.
"Yeah, I don't know but they couldn't get to you because they'd have to admit that one of the officers had illegally obtained information on a friend of yours to fuck her-"
"Oh my G-d," Joey could not believe what he was hearing. It was all true. He remembered sitting there in the back of the police car, Gary trying to desperately to get info out of him. "But what do they have on you?"
"Drugs. They know….Christopher sells cocaine out of my nightclub. My nightclub is a front for drugs. So my options are being a mole or prison."
"Do they know you're here?"
"No. No….I don't think so," Adriana said.
"Man….and he killed Sal."
"Tony did, yeah."
"But that's his best friend….he put a bullet in his best friend?" Joey said.
"Yeah," Adriana said.
That stunned him. He and Adriana hugged before turning and walking back towards his house. Tony had killed his childhood best friend? He thought of Chandler and Ross and wondered if he could ever put a bullet in one of them, even if they had betrayed him. He knew the answer, of course not. Chandler has fucked him over sleeping with his sister and all the lying, so much lying from hiding his drug addiction but it didn't matter, he still considered Chandler a loyal friend. Even when Chandler pissed him off, he couldn't actually hurt him, let alone kill him.
Walking into the house, he was immediately enveloped by his mom. He watched Adriana walk off towards Christopher as Gloria turned her son's face towards her.
"I can't believe I have a thirty four year old son," Gloria said.
"But you don't, you have a twenty one year old son."
"Awww, you know what I want from you?"
"What?"
"A daughter in law and another grandchild."
"Ma."
"No, Joey….your father and I are so proud of you and now, it's time, don't you think?"
"I'm-I like being a bachelor. It's fun, I have a lot of sex," Joey said.
"Why did I need to know that?" Gloria asked.
"So you can get grossed out and end this conversation," Joey said.
"Big brother," Dina said, walking up to him and hugging him.
"Are you going to tell him?" Gloria asked, glaring a little at Dina. Joey felt a little uncomfortable looking at his eighteen year old sister, wondering what she wanted to say. Dina simply took his hand and walked him into another room in the house where he saw Meadow sitting on the couch.
"Meadow, you're here. I haven't heard from you in a long time. How's Columbia? How's Jackie Jr?" Joey asked, as he sat with Dina on the couch. He hadn't spoken to Meadow in almost nine months. With Chandler and Monica' wedding and Rachel and Ross expecting a baby, it had been a busy time.
"Columbia's good and Jackie Jr. is dead because my father killed him...or ordered a hit, we aren't sure yet," Meadow said.
"Excuse me?" Joey asked.
"Yeah, see Tony was trying to keep Jackie Jr. from joining the mob, he joined and Tony killed him," Dina said.
"Wow," Joey said.
"You should really hang out with us more often. My dad is here but I'm still not talking to him really and oh, my brother got expelled from school," Meadow said.
"And I'm pregnant," Dina said.
"What?" Joey asked, looking at Dina and then back at Meadow. There was so much to comprehend, he wasn't sure where to begin. "You're pregnant?"
"Yeah," Dina said.
"You're eighteen….and wait, how-who's the dad?" Joey asked.
"Bobby," Dina said.
"Who's Bobby?" Joey asked.
"My boyfriend," Dina said.
"Are you gonna marry him? 'Cause I know how to do that," Joey said.
"No, Joe-"
"And wait AJ got expelled?" Joey asked.
"Yes. See, these are the things you miss when you ditch your own family," Meadow said.
"I didn't ditch my family," Joey said. "How are you gonna raise this child?"
"I am. Bobby and I will raise the baby and….it's gonna be good and he'll have his uncle Joey, right?" Dina asked.
"You can't raise a child," Joey said.
"Yes, I can. Look, I'm gonna make this work," Dina said.
"I gotta….I don't know…." Joey said getting up and walking out of the room. He was trying so desperately to process everything he had learned since he had arrived at his parents. Adriana working for the FBI? Tony had killed Sal and Jackie Jr.? He had remembered Sal. He remembered being young and going with Sal, Tony, Christopher and some other boys and stealing stuff from that creepy convenience store. He saw Tony drinking a beer and looked like he was surveying the party.
"Hey, happy birthday. What are you fifty now?" Tony asked.
"Funny….hey, you know who I was thinking about the other day? Sal. Big Pussy? Remember him? Whatever happened to him?" Joey asked.
Tony looked at him, his face blank as Joey kept watching him for clues.
"I heard he moved….somewhere overseas," Tony said, drinking his beer.
"And Jackie Jr….Meadow's boyfriend….or ex...what's going on with him?" Joey asked.
Tony let out a long, drawn breath as he brought his beer to his mouth and drank. He took a step closer to Joey and stared at him. Joey could see the flash of anger in Tony's eyes and he knew. Joey knew.
"What are you trying to get at?" Tony asked, his voice low and controlled.
"Did you kill them? Are they still alive?" Joey asked.
Tony stepped away from him and motioned for Joey to follow him outside. When they stepped outside, Tony set his beer down and immediately grabbed Joey pushing him up against the side of the house and pulling his arms behind him. Tony leaned in and whispered in his ear.
"Listen, motherfucker, don't get involved in things you don't want to know shit about. This isn't your world now, stay the fuck out of it, Ms. Hollywood," Tony said.
He let go of Joey and Joey stretched out his arms. Tony had held too tight but it was cold out so perhaps his layers prevented bruising? He sat on his front porch steps and looked up at Tony. He remembered being little and sitting on those same steps telling Tony about the guy who died at Umbertos. He was so excited.
"You killed your childhood best friend," Joey said. "I don't get it. I won't rat you out, you know me….but you did, didn't you?"
Tony shook his head and sat next to him. He let out a sigh as he looked at Joey and then back out into the night.
"I had to. He betrayed me," Tony said. "He was gonna rat me out."
"My best friend was addicted to painkillers and alcohol and lied to me about it for over a year, he slept with Mary Angela while bombed out of his mind and didn't even remember, he forgot to give me a message of an audition change for MAC and Cheese, he kissed my girlfriend once and yet…when I go home tonight, I'll probably see him on his couch snuggling with his wife.
"It's a little different."
"No...do you miss him?"
"Of course."
"No matter how angry I get at Chandler or Ross or...I'd miss 'em if they weren't there. How could you-"
"You don't get it."
"You got rid of Jackie Jr. too, didn't you?"
"I ordered it, I didn't actually kill him. I was protecting him. I didn't want him mixed up in this world and he was getting mixed up in it. Look, I'm proud of you kid. I'm proud you got out but when you got out, you left shit behind and if you don't want to know that shit-"
"You know, I have a friend who said once that it must be really scary to live like you. Can't trust anyone….although you trust me?"
"Well, yeah, you've proven loyal besides who are you gonna tell in the village. I know who you hang out with now."
"Yeah, but I keep thinking she has a point. It must be terrifying to live like you. Always looking over your shoulder, the walls about to cave in….you killed your best friend. I mean, fuck, I don't even think I could kill Christopher….I've wanted to….don't you get scared?"
"I'm in too deep, kid," Tony said.
"And what about Jackie Jr….wasn't he like eighteen, nineteen?" Joey asked.
"He flunked out of Rutgers," Tony said.
"You killed a kid."
"He was wrapped up in some bad shit, he was getting in too deep and I couldn't protect him anymore and I didn't kill him."
"You protected me."
"Well, you needed it. I knew you were gonna end up somewhere else."
"Shit, you killed off a nineteen year old kid?"
"I did not kill him."
"You ordered a hit on a nineteen year old. Fine….you know, my friends….they think it's so cool. Anytime someone annoys them they go, "can you kill 'em off?" I always think, fuck, if you only knew. Nineteen years old and what about AJ?"
"Thinking of sending him to military school. Kid needs a whack."
"I don't know what to say anymore. Are you a sociopath or a psychopath?" Joey asked.
"Do you even know those words mean?"
"I could look it up," Joey said.
"Hey," Kristi said as she walked towards the house. She was holding Ashley's hand. Ashley was now six as she looked at Joey, her eyes brightening as she ran towards him.
"Joey," Ashley yelled as she ran up the steps towards him and threw her tiny arms around his neck.
"Hey, kid. How you doin'?" Joey asked.
"Joey, she's six," Kristi said.
"Sometimes it means how are you," Joey said.
"Are you old, Joey?" Ashley asked.
"I'm old."
"I'm six and you know what, I had cookies before I came here," Ashley said.
"Very nice," Joey said.
"Let's go inside, it's cold out here," Kristi said.
Joey nodded as he lifted Ashley in his arms. He kept watching Tony as they walked inside. He watched as Tony walked over towards Adriana and Christopher. Adriana glanced over at Joey before looking back at Tony. He could almost see her shaking. He put Ashley down and she walked towards her mother. He noticed Dina still talking with Meadow. His little sister was pregnant? AJ walked over to them, beer in hand. No one was stopping him. AJ had been expelled? He could feel his heart start racing as he stood there in the middle of the party. He wanted Chandler and Monica, Rachel and Ross, Phoebe. They had become his home, his safety net. He truly no longer belonged there. When he got home that night, he went into Monica and Chandler's apartment and his heart felt lighter, so much lighter. There the five of them were. Monica curled up in Chandler's arms, Rachel curled up in Ross' and Phoebe sitting in the middle. They were watching The Godfather which made him laugh a little. He walked over to the couch and plopped down, sitting next to Phoebe who fell into him. He gently kissed her head as they watched. They asked about the party but there was nothing much for him to say or nothing he really wanted to say.
A few days later, he found himself on a date with Rachel. Rachel had complained to him about not being able to date anymore because she was so pregnant so he decided to take her out. His mind was still whirling from all the information he had learned at his parents that he thought maybe this would be a welcome release. He had never really been out with her alone, he realized. Yes, they were enjoying themselves as roommates but this was new, this was just them on a date or a pretend date. It was at a fancy place and they were getting lobster and steak and Rachel was again pumping him for answers. He should have known he was not going to be having a night off from Rachel's constant questions. She was always too curious.
"So okay….tell me more about your mafia ties," Rachel grinned as she snapped open a lobster.
"I really can't tell you these things. You can get yourself killed," Joey said, still thinking about what Adriana said, about what Tony said, about everything that had happened at his birthday. He wondered if maybe he should call Dina? He hadn't said much to her after finding out she was pregnant.
"They wouldn't kill a pregnant lady."
"Of course they would," Joey said, adding in his head the thought that if Tony could order a hit on a nineteen year old kid and kill his best friend, he could definitely order a hit on a pregnant woman. He was beginning to think Tony really had no limits. Maybe he was a sociopath or not? He wasn't entirely sure he knew what that meant.
"Well, that's mean."
"And you know, they are known for being a kind-hearted group."
"Tell me something, Joe."
He looked at her. He knew she thought of the mafia world like an episode of Days of Our Lives. He knew she thought it was like the movies. She didn't know how serious all of it was and he kinda wished he had her sense of fantasy about it. He thought maybe he could tell her something. Rachel really believed in the fantasy and he knew he could trust her.
"Okay, I will tell you one thing."
"Oooo, what?"
"My cousin's girlfriend is a good friend of mine. Her name is Adriana. She's hot and she confided in me that she may or may not be an FBI Informant. Her boyfriend is in the Sopranos. He's my uncle Tony's nephew," Joey said, trying to be vague but not sure he was succeeding.
"Oh my G-d."
"You can't say anything. I can't either. This is serious."
"I won't but what will happen if they find out."
"She...well, it won't be good," Joey said.
"So...okay. Your uncle is Tony Soprano."
"Yes."
"So you've met Tony Soprano."
"Many times. He's actually a really nice guy…..I mean, the whacking part aside. Definitely knows his way around a good BBQ," Joey said thinking Rachel knew all this or at least he thought she did. He wasn't sure what he had told her and what he hadn't but she kept wanting to know more.
"So you were in construction and the construction was a front."
"Yes."
"And you quit construction to be an actor and they let you quit? Just like that?" Rachel asked.
Joey let out a sigh. He put down his lobster and looked at her. He really wished she'd stop. This wasn't a television show to him. Sitting on the front porch of his house, listening to Tony tell him he killed his childhood best friend or that he hired a hit on a teenager, this wasn't a plot of a soap. He wondered how he could spin this. How could he make this story okay?
"Okay, Chandler is the only one that knows these things. Pheebs too. I was working in construction and I saw things and one day I….I saw someone get killed. I watched it. I watched this guy lose his life over...I don't even remember the amount, but I couldn't….I couldn't be part of that world. So I told my uncle and I told my parents that I couldn't be part of that. Watching someone lose their life right in front of me. I needed to leave. So I did. I moved in with Shane and some Swedish models and then I flew to Los Angeles and then….came home."
That was the shortened version. The version that sanitized so much of everything. It wasn't quite right chronologically but it didn't matter, that was the story.
"Wow. I couldn't see you being part of that," Rachel said.
"Neither could I," Joey said, before thinking of something else he could tell Rachel, maybe he could tell her this. This was a piece of information he had never told anyone and maybe Rachel would like this story. He knew he could trust her. "Okay, because you're feeling depressed, I do have a secret for you. No one knows this. Not even Chandler."
"Oh my G-d. A secret Chandler doesn't know? What about Phoebe?"
"She doesn't know either."
"Oh my," Rachel said.
He was debating whether or not to reveal this. After all, this was a big deal. This was a huge deal. He quickly went back and forth in his mind. Could he tell her? He could trust her. He could never tell Monica or Phoebe this and Rachel would know that.
"Remember when Chandler hooked up with my sister and didn't remember which one?"
"Yeah."
"I wasn't honest with you about what actually happened after."
"What?"
"My sister was pissed and orchestrated a hit. My Uncle Tony called me to inform me of the hit because he knew I was living with Chandler and he knew how pissed I was after what happened with Shane. He told me it was being orchestrated. I had to go down there with my sister and get the hit called off. I told him, he's an addict. He just got cheated on and dumped...he's in a bad place. Let me deal with it."
Joey watched as Rachel's eyes widened. He knew he was taking a big chance on trusting her. He had never really confided this much in Rachel.
"There was a hit?"
"Yep."
"Oh my G-d. Joey."
"I know but do not tell Chandler. I don't want him knowing that."
"You got it called off. I mean, you kinda saved his life."
"I still don't want him knowing that."
"I get it. You really love Chandler, don't you?" Rachel asked.
"He's my brother."
"It's sweet. I'm glad he's doing well. He's really trying."
"I'm happy….and I'm afraid if he found out how close he was to losing his life, he would fall off the wagon. He's doing too well," Joey said truthfully. He really just wanted Chandler to never discover this.
"He is. I'm proud of him. I'm also happy he's not sleeping with fishes. Can I ask you something? Why acting? Was it really to get out of joining the mob?"
"I liked it. I liked being someone else. It seemed fun and you know, you get laid," Joey said, grinning.
"Oh, Joey."
He wanted to change the subject. He wanted to lighten the mood and not think about Tony, about killing anyone. Rachel was depressed, he was still freaked and he wanted to simply lighten the mood.
"Question," Joey began, "if all six of us were on a boat and you could only save one person-"
"Not a fair question, Ross is the father of my child. I love Phoebe and Monica more than I do my biological sisters. Chandler's my gossip/lunch buddy and you're my roommate. Let's discuss something else. You and Pheebs. Friends with Benefits?"
"You know the answer."
"I want it confirmed."
"Yes," Joey said, although feeling slightly sad that he and Phoebe had not indulged in the benefits side of their friendship in quite some time.
"So Phoebe has kissed Chandler, made out with Ross and had sex with you. Go, Pheebs," Rachel grinned.
"Is she the only one of you girls that kissed everyone?" Joey asked.
"Yeah. Well, I made out with Chandler once. You cannot tell Ross or Monica. Chandler will kill me."
"When?"
"College. It was really quick. Mon and I went to visit Ross and Chandler and Mon and I got so drunk and we were being really mean to Chandler and he went into his room and I followed him in because I wanted to continue being mean and we kissed. It was super quick but it happened."
"Whoa and I won't tell," Joey said wondering if Chandler had ever told him?
"Good….so if you could only save one of us-"
"Chandler," Joey said, grinning which made Rachel laugh.
"I am sitting right here."
"I know. Chandler."
"You two really have a bromance."
"We do. Let me ask you something, why did you hate him so much? Chandler told me you guys used to just despise each other?" Joey asked. He knew the pranks that went wrong, he knew when Rachel first moved in that both Phoebe and Chandler hated her. He kinda thought he should know why now, considering what he had told her.
"Long story. To be really honest. It wasn't anything he really did. He had really bad timing."
"Okay, you have to tell me the story."
"I had an abortion….when I was sixteen," Rachel said.
"Chandler got you pregnant?" Joey asked.
"No. Eww. no. My high school boyfriend, Chip. The guy I had sex with in your bedroom."
"Oh," Joey said before remembering. He remembered that party, now knowing it was Rachel. He remembered how he and his friends had made fun of them. Little Doritos. They were all so convinced she was pregnant. She had been so embarrassed. He started to feel a little guilty.
"A couple weeks after that abortion, I was cheering at the game and Chandler and his buddies heard the hermaphrodite rumor and came to see if it was true. He talked to me because he remembered me from camp, I remembered him too but I blew him off….he got pissed. I punched his friend Tyler in the face-"
"Then Chandler did that prank."
"Yep and that kicked off our mutual hatred of each other."
"Oooo," Joey said, understanding now.
"There you go….now everyone knows."
"Wait, am I the only one who didn't know you had had an abortion?"
"Of our group? Yes. Monica and Ross knew in high school, I didn't tell 'em but apparently they knew. But yeah….you're the last one."
"Why wouldn't you tell me?"
"Joe."
"What?"
"Come on."
"No. Why would you not tell me?" Joey asked, looking at her.
"Well...I mean, I love you but you….you're not known for your sensitivity."
"I see," he said, looking down at his food. That kinda hurt him. He knew she had called him a pig before, he knew she thought he was piggish but did she really think he was that big of a jerk? She did know about Monique so maybe she did? Maybe because of that, she thought he wouldn't be sensitive. Rachel reached over and squeezed his hand.
"I didn't mean it like that."
"I get it. Although, I have seven sisters. I'm not a complete pig."
"I know. I know."
"I'm really not."
"I know. I'm sorry. I should have told you. It's just not something I enjoy talking about. It wasn't the best moment of my life. Aren't there things you've done that you just don't like talking about?"
"A few," Joey said. Many actually and he knew Rachel knew a lot. He hoped though that what she knew didn't make her think horribly of him. He did like her, he loved her. She was by far the sweetest of the girls. Monica and Phoebe joked that Rachel was the "walking heart". Phoebe had once teased Rachel and said that she was the type that if you told her you accidentally killed someone, Rachel would tell you it wasn't your fault. He hated that Rachel looked at him like some sort of pig, some jerk.
"I'm scared, Joe."
"Scared?" Joey asked, looking at her.
"Yeah, I'm real scared. I haven't told anyone else that. But….I'm scared….I know you all say I'm not going to be alone, but we're all getting older. Monica and Chandler are married and are starting their lives and….and one day Pheebs will get married and you maybe and….and Ross...but then he'll divorce her but I can't help but think that at the end of the day, I'm going to be raising a child….alone."
"You won't be alone."
"Joey."
"Look, okay….right now, is Ross dating someone?"
"No."
"Are Monica and Chandler moving somewhere?"
"No….and I know you aren't getting married anytime soon and neither is Phoebe but-"
"And do you see any of that changing within the next year?"
"No I mean, I don't think so but-"
"If I've learned anything in my life, worry about today. Right now, you're not alone."
"But you have to plan….look for the future."
"You can. You can also live your life."
"I can," Rachel said. "Thank you, Joey and I'm sorry."
"You know, the thing that happened with Monique and I've been arrested four times. Twice for drinking and driving, once for a fight and the thing that happened with Monique, I'm still ashamed of that and I-I don't-I don't want you thinking that's the kind of guy I am."
"I don't," Rachel said. "I like this, Joey. I like hanging out with you. You and I don't do this a lot, do we?"
"No, we don't….so wanna go back to my place?" Joey asked.
"Yeah, but I'm sleeping in my own room," Rachel said, laughing.
"Okay."
Joey kept looking at her as they finished their meal and began to walk arm and arm back to the apartment. She rested her head on his shoulder as he gently made sure she was okay. They got a few blocks from the restaurant when Rachel suddenly stopped and looked at him.
"Mr. Tabrubino's dead, isn't he?" Rachel asked.
"What?" Joey asked.
"The guy my friends and I saw on the street in high school, getting into the back of a car...there was a guy with a gun pointed at him. Joey, was that you?"
Joey closed his eyes. She was going to hate him. He hated her asking questions. He wanted her so badly to stop.
"Yeah, it was me. I got him out of the house. I didn't kill him, I sat in the car while Tony, Christopher and Shane did the killing. Shane was the one who yelled at you. Rachel please, no more questions. I don't...I hate talking about this and I don't want you knowing this. I don't want you thinking I'm some monster."
Rachel looked at him with a look of concern as she gently stroked his cheek and looked up at him, comforting him. He could tell he had struck a nerve with her and he wanted to take it all back.
"Oh, sweetie, I don't. I think you're amazing and sweet and come on, who am I to judge someone on their past behavior. You know why Phoebe hated me so much? Well, once she came to a soup kitchen I was volunteering at-"
"You did not volunteer, I know this story. You stood in a soup kitchen. Monica actually volunteered, you stood."
"Okay, fine...I stood there. But after I told Monica that Phoebe, I didn't know her name but I told her that the blonde homeless chick with the funny laugh was probably going to die of disease and it was sad because people who had a laugh like that should not die from venereal diseases...and once when she came into my aunt's store, before she robbed it, I said that the place needed to be fumigated because there were hobos there. Oh and when Chandler covered my car with peanut butter, I told Monica and Ross that I knew who did it and he probably died because he took it up the ass from a rabid coyote. I was also the one who came up with the nickname, 'Monicow' and neither Ross nor Monica were allowed to speak to me in public places," Rachel said.
"Wow, you were a lovely human being," Joey said, sarcastically. Rachel laughed.
"Yeah, I was a bitch and here's something else. Sally Dissisa Corvette? The Thanksgiving where Chandler's toe got cut off? Barry drove me and a bunch of us back to the Geller house where we slashed Sally's tires, poured booze all over the car and threw pills all over it."
"Oh my G-d," Joey said. "Did Chandler know? 'Cause I think that would explain the hatred. Hell, I hate you for it and it wasn't even my car."
"He knows now but no, he didn't know at the time. I told him what I had done a few years ago. "
"Why would you be so mean to Sally?" Joey asked.
"It was the owner of Sally I wanted to piss off...but knowing all that, do you still think I'm horrible?"
"No. I can't see you acting like that at all. I mean, I know you did act like that. I've heard every story but I can't see it...you're the walking heart," Joey said. Rachel laughed a little at that.
"That's how I feel about you. I can't see you doing that. I know about the arrests, the rape, I know you did some messed up crap and some stuff you probably could go to prison for but I know that wasn't you. I know you...you wanted to be something you really weren't just to make others happy and I know that feeling really well. That's how I spent the first twenty four years of my life. You're no monster, Joe. I never want you thinking that. You're my sweet Joey," Rachel said.
"Thank you," Joey said.
Rachel linked her arm back in Joey's and placed her head back on his shoulder. He gently moved his arm and wrapped it around her instead. She grinned and moved her arm around his waist. He loved being this close to her as they walked. The night was still a little chilly but he was feeling warm and a little nervous. He wanted to ignore the feelings in his stomach, the butterflies. He did not want to feel this, not at all. He did not want to let her go. It was wrong, completely wrong but he wanted her. He wanted to just be with her.
