Chapter Fifty-Two
Shepard jerked her pistol sharply up as Nathan stepped in front of her. "Nathan! What are you doing?" she gasped. She hadn't expected this… she had no contingency plan for this. What did he think he was doing? He was supposed to support her!
The lines of his jaw were tense as he responded. At least he seemed to realise how much of a… betrayal this was. "I can't let you go ahead with this, Shepard. This isn't you. I don't know what happened to you on the Citadel but you need to put it behind you. If you do this you're never going to forgive yourself."
Behind Nathan, Shepard could see that Mordin had drawn his own pistol and was holding it at low ready. He was cautious, and alert, but also very reluctant. He wanted to be in this position as little as she did. She lowered her own gun to match him, careful to keep it pointed away from Nathan. "Nathan… this isn't about me," she tried to explain. "My guilt – or lack of it – is irrelevant. Whether I can live with myself doesn't matter. What does matter is survival, the survival of the whole galaxy. If I don't do this, our chances of survival against the Reapers go down. We need everything to fight them. Everything. If we don't succeed, that's it. There will be no second chances. We'll just be gone. Forever."
He shifted uncomfortably. He knew all that. And yet… "Shepard… you're about to kill one of your oldest friends," he pleaded quietly. "That has to mean something. Despite everything."
It did mean something – of course it did. She stared at Mordin and swallowed. Without Nathan noticing, he had shifted ever so slightly to one side, giving her a clear shot. He hadn't holstered his weapon, but he had ensured that should either one of them fire, Nathan wouldn't be in the way. Mordin would never have done that by mistake.
She locked eyes with his, and felt the weight of her decision. "It does mean something," she whispered. "But my feelings are not enough."
"Reasoning is sound, Shepard," Mordin commented, nodding gravely. "Logical. But flawed. Seeing two choices where there are more."
She shook her head, but Nathan nodded in agreement and threw a hand out, palm up, in Mordin's direction. "Listen to him. There has to be another way," he urged her.
She was surprised when Zaeed spoke up. He had been standing off to one side, pistol drawn but not pointed at anyone. "They've got a point, Shepard."
She raised an eyebrow, but he just shrugged. He agreed with them. Of all people, she had thought Zaeed would understand. She had brought him along precisely because out of all her crew, he would be the most likely to be ruthless enough to understand why she was doing this.
Her gun-hand wavered, but she steadied it grimly, wincing as images of the Crucible being overrun by Reapers flashed across her mind. Their only hope at winning this war gone because she allowed her personal feelings to get in the way of doing what had to be done. "Enough," she snapped, gathering her resolve and raising her pistol to point directly at Mordin. Briefly she considered just incapacitating him, but discarded the idea. If he was alive, he would find a way.
She squeezed her finger on the trigger.
"No!" Nathan shouted, and once more leaped in between her and Mordin. He had noticed Mordin had moved.
With a flash of panic she managed to pull her shot at the last second. If it wasn't for her enhanced reflexes… Anger flared, mixing unpleasantly with fear. "Stand down, Lieutenant!" she barked, furious. She had almost shot him! "Get back!"
"No, Shepard, you don't get to order your way out of this!" he shouted back, surprising her with his intensity. "You told me what Wrex said to you on Palaven. Before he died."
She went cold, frozen by the memory.
Nathan continued, lowering his voice. "You told me he entrusted the future of the krogan to you."
Her throat went tight. She remembered. She had been clinging to the ramp of the Normandy as they pulled away, buffeted by the wind even through her armour and the magnetic clamps on her boots, watching as the tiny figure of Wrex fell away before her. He had aimed his Cain at Harbinger, standing straight and proud and glaring in the face of his approaching death. And he had made her promise to safeguard the future of his people, because he trusted her to do it.
"Shepard… you're about to destroy that future," Nathan said. "Everything he worked for. All of his trust in you. The promise of life. The Reapers are the promise of death, Shepard. You stop Mordin now, you help them win."
She blinked, feeling the hand holding her gun grow heavier and heavier until she had to let it fall. She stared at Nathan, at the pleading in his eyes, and the complete and total certainty that what he was saying was right. "I…" she began, mouth dry. "I don't have a choice. We need the salarian navy. We'll be wiped out. Everyone is relying on me—" her voice cracked, and she stopped as a wave of responsibility and guilt threatened to overwhelm her.
"Always a choice," Mordin told her gently, drawing her attention over to him. Slowly, he came forward and laid a hand on her armoured shoulder. "Learned that from you. Glad everyone is relying on you. Someone else might get it wrong." He smiled. "Always another way. I will help you find it."
She swallowed and blinked, eyes stinging. Of course Mordin understood – he had made a ruthless choice for what he had thought was the greater good himself. He had been part of the STG team tasked with ensuring that the genophage continued to keep krogan population levels low. His work had contributed to bringing the krogan to the brink of extinction. It was why he was here, trying to save the people he had almost killed. He understood, and he didn't blame her. He still trusted her to do the right thing, even after what she had almost done.
Almost. She closed her eyes. He was right. Nathan was right. There had to be another way. And even if there wasn't, they would make it work somehow.
She let out a long, almost sobbing breath, feeling a weight lift off her shoulders as she made the decision. "All right. Let's find another way. Let's cure the genophage."
About an hour later, Shepard stood in the shadow of a nearby obelisk, staring up at the Shroud Tower. Mordin had disappeared within almost that long ago, clutching a vacuum-sealed medical transport container close to his chest as if it was the most valuable thing he had ever touched. Nothing had happened since, but there was no hint of trouble – no Reapers had shown up, and the salarian scientist had not called for aid. So Shepard waited, strands of hair fluttering in the hot wind and droplets of sweat drying on her forehead.
Nathan was standing by her side, his own brown hair ruffled by the breeze. "Did I do the right thing?" she murmured to him. She knew what he would say, but… she needed to hear it again. Zaeed was leaning up against their tomkah a short distance away, but Nathan had stayed close. She was glad he had. His presence was… comforting.
"Yes." The reply was firm, without a hint of indecision.
"What if this costs us the war?" It was a dark thought, she knew, but she found herself having a lot of those lately.
"Then it costs us the war. Nothing is worth committing genocide. We fought hard, and we fought well."
She looked up at Nathan, allowing the hint of a smile to touch her lips. Now that intense emotions had faded, she found she had a modicum of objectivity. She found herself feeling proud of him, of how far he had come since they first met. The confidence and wisdom she saw in him now was a far cry from the rash, inexperienced soldier he had been. He had made mistakes, learned from them, and grown. "Since when do you spout words of wisdom, Briggs?"
He grinned lop-sidedly, reminding her of sitting on the balcony outside the Alliance detention centre in Vancouver exchanging silly jokes. "I'm a font of the stuff, Shepard. Surely you've picked up on that by now." All right… he had come a long way, but he was still Nathan.
Staring up into his eyes she allowed the smile to fade from her lips. "Nathan… thank you."
He looked away, uncomfortable. "I didn't support you when you needed me, Shepard."
"You didn't let me do something we both knew was wrong. You had my back. I don't know what I… if I'd had to do it…" she trailed off, grimacing. "Thank you."
A new, soft smile touched his lips. "Always."
Zaeed's low, drawn out whistle drew her attention. The mercenary was holding a hand out before him as the air seemed to shimmer with golden-green specks of light, cascading to the ground like a gentle snow. She looked up, and to her delight, watched as the cure to the genophage rained lightly down all around them.
Mordin had done it.
Nathan's eyes brightened, his face lit up by a genuine, joyful smile. "Wow. You don't see something like this every day," he remarked without a hint of flippancy.
As Shepard watched, Mordin emerged from the Shroud and made his way up to where they stood. He stopped and turned his face upward, allowing his redemption to wash over him. Her throat grew tight as she imagined how he must be feeling, and how close she had come to preventing this from happening.
Nathan slipped an arm around her, and she leaned back into the solid wall of his embrace, all thoughts of pushing him away for his own protection discarded. He wasn't Kaidan – it was protection he didn't need. Uncaring of the fact that Zaeed and Mordin were standing right there, she tilted her head back for a kiss. In that kiss, she showed him how grateful she was that he was here with her, right now, witnessing the promise of life unfold all around them.
The trip back to the Valley was short, and when they arrived they were met by clan Gadorn's shaman. Shepard steeled herself, ready for anger – or at least disappointment – when she found out what had happened at the Shroud, but instead the stately krogan female came forward and took her hand.
"Commander. Thank you for helping our friend Mordin," the shaman said, her deep voice nothing but sincere.
Shepard shook her head. She didn't deserve thanks. Not at all. "No. I did nothing. This was all Mordin's doing."
The shaman inclined her head. "Yes. Mordin Solus will forever be revered amongst the krogan. But so will you."
Shepard shook her head again, more vehemently this time, as a well of guilt began to rise up inside her. But the Gadorn shaman smiled gently and continued. "Our legacies are not defined by a single moment, Commander. Wrex and Grunt have told stories of your actions over the years, from stopping Saren's foul experiments on Virmire to saving data from Maelon's research here on Tuchanka. And now, today… for refusing to be blackmailed into preventing the cure from being released."
Shepard raised her eyebrows in surprise. "You knew?"
"I am not just an old female who sits around weaving all day. I have… sources."
"You could have stopped me from going. Why didn't you?"
The shaman smiled. "I knew you would make the right choice."
Shepard grimaced. "No, I wouldn't have." She glanced up at Nathan and over at Zaeed and Mordin, who stood nearby. "If not for my team, my friends, I wouldn't have."
The shaman chuckled. "Let's not pretend you couldn't have prevailed against all of them, had you really been determined to succeed at your task." Alarmed at that idea, Shepard made to protest, but the krogan female raised a hand to stop her. "You see? The idea of doing that sickens you. You are more honourable and wise than you give yourself credit for, Commander Shepard. I knew you would make the right choice."
Shepard wasn't sure whether to be irritated at being manipulated or grateful at the positive assessment of her character. She settled for being confused. "Well… I…"
"Shepard, I believe that was a compliment," Mordin spoke up.
"Yes, all right, Mordin," she replied ruefully. "Thank you," she said to the shaman, who inclined her head in acknowledgement. "Will you be all right when we leave?"
The Gadorn shaman nodded slowly but firmly. "Yes. We will. We will survive."
Mordin laid a hand on the shaman's shoulder. "My work here is done. Am needed elsewhere." He glanced over at Shepard, a twinkle in his eye.
The shaman smiled. "I agree. Thank you for everything you have done, Mordin."
"Only fair," the salarian scientist replied with a nonchalant shrug. "Need to defeat Reapers now."
Shepard found herself grinning unashamedly. "You're coming with us, Mordin? Even after… everything?"
He cocked his head to the side as they began walking to the tomkah that would take them back to the shuttle. "Of course. No hard feelings. You need me."
"I almost killed you," she protested.
"Have almost gotten me killed numerous times," Mordin countered cheerfully. "Still my friend."
Nathan had the shuttle airborne and heading for the relay – and the nearby comm buoy – in a matter of minutes. Once the course was laid in, he spun around in his seat so he could see the others more easily. "What now, Shepard?" he asked.
He was glad to be off Tuchanka. Everything seemed clearer now, more relaxed – as relaxed as it could get considering the looming shadow of the Reapers was never far away. At least Shepard seemed to be a little more relaxed too, if not quite back to her usual self. Something had definitely happened to her on the Citadel, something terrible, he was sure of it. But now was not the time to ask her about it.
She was standing, absently holding onto one of the overhead straps as she thought, despite there being little discernible motion in the shuttle at the moment. "Rendezvous with the Normandy at the Citadel first," she told him. "Hopefully they've learned something from the Collector base."
"Will need to see data on Crucible and Reapers, Shepard," Mordin said.
She nodded. "When we get back to the Normandy Tali and the others will get you up to speed."
"What are we going to do about the salarians?" Nathan asked.
She shook her head grimly. "We'll figure something out."
"We could just lie," Zaeed offered bluntly. "They'd never know."
"STG sensors in Shroud tower," Mordin told them. "Government already knows."
"Great," Zaeed muttered, leaning back and stretching his legs out before him.
"Any ideas, Mordin?" Shepard asked.
"Dalatrass will not change mind. Stubborn, vindictive. Will convince Valern to continue withholding ships. But… STG leaders may have different view. Will ask," he offered.
Nathan raised an eyebrow. "The STG would go against the salarian government? Isn't that treason?"
Mordin cocked his head to the side. "Yes. But for greater good… possible. Certain personality type common in STG: pragmatic, analytical. May reach same conclusion I did. Had the same experiences."
As he spoke, Nathan watched the relay approach, one eye on the communications ready light. As soon as it lit up, he began downloading.
"Good point," Shepard mused. "Let's hope they do. Thank you, Mordin."
Nathan frowned as a warning alarm went off. He pulled up the readout, then raised his eyebrows in surprise. "Shepard… there's a high priority message here. It's addressed to all ships. Not just all Alliance ships," he clarified, looking up at her. "All ships."
Everyone in the shuttle suddenly went still. Nathan felt dread spreading through his limbs like ice. "Put it on the monitor," she ordered.
An image of Councillors Udina, Valern and Tevos appeared before a backdrop of a room that looked suspiciously like it was on a ship. Sparatus was conspicuously absent. Tevos spoke for the other Councillors, as she often did. "This is an automated warning to all those attempting to make it to the Citadel, looking for safe haven. Turn back. Do not attempt to approach. The Citadel has been overcome by Reapers. I repeat, the Citadel has been breached."
Nathan's breath froze in his chest. Dangerfield. Garrus. They were both on the Citadel.
Zaeed whistled ominously. "Shit. Now we're fucked."
Nathan had to agree. His mouth went dry as he considered it from a purely tactical point of view, putting aside his concern for his friends for the moment. The Citadel was the Catalyst. Without the Catalyst, the Crucible would be useless. What the hell were they going to do now?
Tevos continued speaking. "The Council is doing everything it can to combat this threat. In the meantime… return to where you feel most safe. May your gods, spirits and ancestors watch over you."
"This isn't good," Nathan murmured. Automatically, he looked to Shepard for answers. Even Zaeed was doing the same, and Mordin appeared for once to be shocked into silence.
"No. It's not," Shepard agreed quietly. Nathan watched her, half expecting her to wilt into brooding silence as she had done so often over the past few days, but to his surprise, she didn't. She had gone pale, but her voice was strong.
"Change of plans then," she continued. "We contact the Normandy and arrange an alternate rendezvous point. We get Mordin working with Tali and the others on the armour – and we hope the mission to the Collector base went well and yielded some new data. Mordin, you'll also contact the STG and see if you can get us some more allies." She took a breath. "In the meantime, as soon as we're back on board the Normandy, I'll get straight onto Hackett and find out if we've lost the Citadel for good."
