Chapter 2: Silence
This seemed to be my only hope. I didn't want to do it, but I had to. I needed to defend myself, but as I held the dagger in my hand I started wondering what I was going to do. I had my weapon and I had my target, but how was I going to play this out? I turned back around to close the desk drawer, but as I did I moved too fast. I felt my eyes wander left and right and the room began to spin. My legs buckled underneath me, and I couldn't stop from falling forward. I crashed into the desk, but held on to the dagger. The desk saved my fall, and slowly I was able to get up. I clenched my eyes shut but my head wouldn't stop spinning.
What just happened? I thought to myself. One second I was fine then the next everything was spinning. I took a deep breath trying to stop everything. I placed my arms on the desk and pulled my body up. One foot at a time I was standing. Slowly I opened my eyes, and the room stopped spinning. I gazed over to my right hand that securely held the dagger. Never give up without a fight. I wasn't going to. No matter how I weak I was, I wasn't going to give up without a fight. Without cutting myself I put the dagger back in its sheath. I took my hands away from the desk, and hooked that dagger on to the back of my pants. That way when I needed it, it would be easy access.
I was about to start looking through other drawers when I heard the large door opening. My eyes went wide, and I felt my heart skip a beat as Zuko opened the door and came in. He looked paler than usual, and he turned his head back and forth as if looking for something. It only took him a second to find me. His amber eyes were filled with sorrow as his eyes caught mine. My heart felt like it was being stretched in different directions. I felt my stomach flutter, but I wasn't sure why. I was angry but also very frightened.
"Alec," He said as he took a step forward. I was cottoned mouth as I took a step back. He looked so different. The armor he wore made him look taller, but also stocky. If I were really paying attention I would have been able to tell he was really conflicted under it all. At that moment though I wasn't paying attention and let my eyes make my decisions. What I saw was an intimidating Prince that could have anything he wanted from me. He continued to take steps closer until he was only a yard away from me. He was only three inches taller than me, but I felt like he towered over me. I quickly moved back.
"Alec. Please. I'm not going to hurt you," He begged and began walking closer. My heart was racing in my chest, and my hands inched closer to my back. Every footstep echoed in my head, and it only got louder. Zuko finally stopped when he saw that I wasn't walking away. If I could I would run, but I was frozen in place. He took this as an understanding, but what he didn't understand was what was going to happen next. He carefully reached out to touch my shoulder, but that's when I attacked.
I took the dagger from my behind my back. I quickly took the sheath off. I jumped back and held it in front of me. Zuko was startled by my actions and moved back. His eyes were wide at the silver blade that was swiped in front of him. I steadied myself in to the best fighting stance I could take. I turned to my right hoping to have an easy way to attack. Zuko held up both of his hands in surrender, but I knew him. He never surrendered.
"Put down the knife," Zuko told me softly. His voice was gentle yet held a bit of edge to it. My hand shook violently, and my legs were ready to buckle underneath me again. Silence filled the air. I glared at him. I would have attacked but my eyes were playing tricks on me. One second there was one Zuko and the next there were three. I blinked to set my vision, but in that short time Zuko sprung forward. He reached for the dagger in my hand, but I moved back. I swung my weapon back and forth trying to strike him, but he grasped my wrist.
I fought back and held on to the dagger with an iron grip. Zuko was trying to pry my fingers off the handle. He kept coming closer and closer which caused me to go back.
"Let go," He told me through his teeth as he grabbed my hand. I shook my head violently back and forth. I clenched my eyes shut, and began to hit him with my other fist. That's when I felt Zuko wrap his arm around my waist. He pulled me close to his metal covered chest. I keep him, but the armor was too thick to feel anything. I lost my balance and fell backwards. I was expecting to fall on to the stone floor, but instead I fell on to the crimson sheeted bed. Zuko's body was tangled in mine, and he fell with me. My eyes snapped opened when I felt a body on top of me, and I began to scream.
I forgot the knife and let it slip from my fingers. Zuko quickly rolled off of me as soon as he saw what happened, but I was still screaming. Even as he got off I kicked him, and moved to the other side of the bed. Zuko wasn't coming after me though. He wasn't trying to chase me or hold me down. Instead he got off the bed and walked backwards. The dagger was nowhere to be found, and I was hyperventilating in fear. The room was spinning again, and black spots came into my vision.
"I'm not going to hurt you. I swear I won't," Zuko said, but why was I going to believe him? Was it because of the sincerity in his voice, or just so I could fall in to another trap? My almost bare chest heaved up and down for breath. I stared at him with big eyes. I didn't know what to do.
"Please. Say something," He begged. I hadn't said anything at all. The only thing he's heard was my scream, and my silence was tearing him apart. I couldn't form words when I saw him though. I wanted to yell at him. I wanted to scream at him. I wanted answers to my questions, but nothing came out. My adrenaline had not gone down, but I was calmer.
"Alec?" He called out, but I didn't do anything. He began speaking again, but all I saw were his lips moving; saying words I could not hear. I felt like I was going in to a haze. I furrowed my brow in concentration, but everything was going blurry. Zuko was trying to say something but he stopped. The last thing I saw was him running towards me before I fell forward in to the dark.
No one's POV
"Where is Alec?" Aang asked as he looked between his friends. Only five minutes ago he woke up from passing out on the deck. All the information given to him was confusing, unbelievable, but most of all insane. He tried to keep up, but it was too much to handle. Water Tribesmen walked around in Fire Nation uniforms on a Fire Nation ship. Even Sokka walked around in the uniform as Katara and Toph walked in crimson cloaks. His head was spin at the fact that he didn't know anything. He had so many questions just to fix this problem, but he was still dazed from waking up.
He couldn't process any given news. So he let his eyes wonder; trying to understand things on his own. Slowly he went through a list in his mind of people and things. Appa was there, and Aang thanked the Spirits he was. He wouldn't know what to do without his ten ton friendly bison. That's when he turned to his friends. Katara was right next to him. She held him in her arms and he liked it. In front of him sat Toph and Sokka on a wooden crate. He knew something was missing, but it didn't hit him until he realized it was one of his friends.
He couldn't find Alec and where. He looked around for his Fire Nation friend, but she was nowhere in sight. He remembered back to when he was at the South Pole. She had come from nowhere wearing a Fire Nation uniform. He didn't recognize her at all. She said once that she liked wearing the uniform. So he thought she was walking around in one, but if she really were then wouldn't she be sitting with Sokka and Toph?
As soon as Alec's name was in the air everything changed. Silence was all Aang heard and it confused him. He first looked to Katara for an explanation, but she looked away. She didn't know what to say. That's when he turned to Toph. She was silent, but Aang could see the hurt and sadness on her face. Something bad happened he knew that, but when he looked at Sokka his suspicions were confirmed. Words could not describe the raw emotion on his face, but they could try.
Sokka stared down at the metal of the deck. His ocean blue eyes turned to ice yet burned with a malicious fire. He shoulder's tensed, and hands balled into tight fists. His knuckles turned white from the pressure, but he didn't seem to notice. He was too distracted by thoughts that no one else could hear, but him. It was better left that way. He knew Aang was going to ask about her, but he couldn't stand hearing it over again. He couldn't stand hearing the details Katara gave to him and everyone else, but he knew he was going to hear it again.
"Where's Alec?" Aang asked again. Katara looked up and in to the eyes of her friend. Who was she going to explain? How was she going to explain the last airbender other than him was taken? Taken by the enemy that wanted all the airbenders dead. Katara placed her hand on his shoulder, and Aang truly began to worry.
"She…She was taken Aang. In Ba Sing Se when we were escaping she was shot down," Katara answered.
"What? How?" He asked. He barely woke up and his mind was a little too slow to take in the complete shock.
"I'm not sure, but when she didn't make it out it was too late go back," Katara informed him. Sokka's mind was swarming with thoughts of the alternate ending. The what if Katara had gone back? What if he hadn't told her to go with Iroh and Aang? What if he were with them? There was no way of knowing now that he didn't have her.
"Do you know what happened to her? Anything?" Aang asked quickly. They all asked this question. Either to themselves or out loud, but no one wanted to believe the most realistic answer. Especially Sokka.
"She might be dead," Toph revealed. Her voice low and mournful. This was the answer no one wanted to hear, but the answer that was most realistic. Everything went silent again until Sokka stood up. His fists balled to his side, and his jaw set.
"She's not dead!" He yelled. All his emotions were coming out again. Only this time it wasn't in the privacy of his own sorrow.
"She could've escaped! What if she's looking for us right now!?" He shouted. Sokka was getting loud, and a lot of the men turned around to look at him.
"We don't know, Sokka," Katara tried telling him.
"Then what proof do you even have that she's dead?" Sokka demanded. His outburst shocked Aang and Toph in to silence, but Katara tried to calm him down. She stood up from her spot and faced her brother. The raged expression on his could have scared anyone. She was the one in the beginning to suggest that his best friend was dead, and she had the explanation.
"She told us. Months ago she told us what would happen if the Fire Nation caught her or Aang. They would kill them. I'm sorry Sokka, but I don't think we can save her this time," Katara said while trying not to cry. Sokka's blood ran colder than the South Pole, and the tears in his eyes stung. He remembered when she told them. He had been so worried that she wouldn't make it back to them after she set a different trail for Azula to follow. He remembered hugging her and telling her to be careful.
He remembered her arms around him when he left to go visit his Dad. That was the last hug he ever gave her. He failed again. He couldn't protect her, and now her fate was out of his hands. Everyone stared at him as a single tear ran down his face. They all felt the pain. It was like losing a sister. They all loved her, but Sokka loved her more than a sister. She wasn't his crush anymore. Those feelings left long ago. He loved her, but he never had the chance to tell her.
Zuko stared at Alec as she lay on his arms. Her eyes were covered by her eyelids not letting him see the stormy grey that hid behind them. Gently he moved a curly strand of hair away from her face, and cupped his hand on her cheek. The bruise under her eye looked brighter as the sun light from the window shined on her. There were multiple bruises. One on her cheek and some on her arms; along with a busted lip. Zuko had no idea who did this but he wanted to hurt them. Whoever caused these bruise would have been executed if Zuko knew who made them. He tried not to think about it, but his angry was only fuelled by the dark marks on her neck. Someone tried to kill her, but they didn't succeed.
Her skin was paler than usual. Her hair was flat and dry, and she looked horrible. She looked sick. It looked like she lost an unhealthy amount of weight, and Zuko thought his eyes betrayed him at first. Did they even feed her? It didn't look like it.
Zuko felt so guilty for all of this. He made a mistake. He thought he was doing the right thing by siding with Azula, but after he did he knew it was the wrong thing to do. Uncle Iroh had defended the Waterbender, the Avatar, and Alec. Then he watched as his girlfriend and the Waterbender were making their escape. Zuko wanted her to leave. If she wasn't going to side with him she might as well escape with her friends. He turned his head away expecting them to be gone, but then his sister shot her down. The blue caught his eye before he turned his back, and the most horrifying sight was in his line of vision.
He would never forget that gruesome sound of her head slamming into the rock, and the sound of his sister's laughter. He could've collapsed to his knees at the sight of her motionless body, but he didn't. He was frozen instead in shock. His Uncle was also horrified by the sight. There was no way she could've survived the fall and impacted. She was like a niece to him; family. Azula reassured Zuko that she was alive, but Azula wasn't reassuring with her cruel smile. It wasn't until they got back to the Fire Nation twelve days later did Zuko finally see Alec alive, but in the worst state he had ever seen her.
Now she was his. At first he couldn't believe it. His father gave him the last airbender, but he wanted her broken in to nothing. Zuko couldn't do that. He would never do that. Even though she was his, he would never hurt her. He was going to explain to that to her when he came in to his room, but she didn't listen to him. The raw fear in her eyes tore him apart inside because it was him she feared. Then she tried to attack him. Zuko had no idea where she found the knife, but she did and she was going to use it.
He had to disarm her, but in the end he fell on top of her. He could still hear the scream she let out. It was loud, and ear numbing. His eyes widen in realization of what she really feared. She thought Zuko was going to dishonor her. Didn't she know him enough to know that he would never do that? He had quickly gotten off of her, but the fear only increased. He began apologizing, but she turned as death pale and collapsed. He had caught her before she fell of the bed and on to the stone floor.
He held her for moment to make sure she was okay, and relaxed when he knew she was. He didn't want to let her go so he held her close. He held her in his arms in relief that she was alive. Azula always lies. He thought when Azula told him she was alive. He didn't believe her, and now here she was in his arms. He could've held her longer, but he needed to get her on to the bed. So he put one of his arms under her knees, and the other one behind her back; carrying her bridal style over to the other side of the left side of his bed. She was very light weight, but that was probably from all the weight she lost.
Carefully he set her down, but took a second to look at her. The bottom of her pants was singed and the only thing covering her chest was her bindings. Zuko turned around and walked over to the large dresser that held most of his clothes. He took out a long sleeveless tunic, and a pair of black pants. They were his clothes which were big for her, but that's all he had. When he got the chance he would get her some of her own clothes that way she wouldn't have to wear his. As he made his way back he set the pants at the foot of the bed, and opened up the shirt.
Zuko was about to put the shirt on her when a thought crossed his mind. How would she react to having a different set of clothes on when she woke up? She would freak out with conclusions of her own, and most of them would end with Zuko touching her. He took a step away from her and slapped his palm to his forehead. He couldn't be stupid he had to think things through. Maybe he should wait until she woke up. No one was expecting him to be roaming the halls or to be with Mai since he had other things to do.
Mai! He forgot about her. He hit himself again. On the way to the Fire Nation Zuko spent most of his time on the ship's deck. He didn't want to talk to anyone, but Mai his childhood friend was always around him. She wouldn't leave him alone, and it irritated Zuko to no end. He didn't know why she was doing that until he got to the Fire Nation. Once he got his father's acceptance Ozai told his son what he expected, and one of those expectations were marriage. Ozai had arranged the marriage of Prince Zuko and Mai while they were on sea.
That explained all of Mai's strange behaviors. She knew about the arranged marriage, and she didn't tell him. She accepted her fate, but Zuko didn't. She was his friend. There was no way he saw her more than that. Mai had tried to get his attention one night and by doing so she tried to kiss him. Zuko had dismissed her actions by tell her he was going to his chambers.
He already had a girlfriend, and it wasn't her. His heart was leading down a different path that didn't lead to her. It led to Alec. He felt happy when he was with her. He felt normal, and not like the hated Prince everyone saw him as. She made him a different person because when he was sick she was there. Not only in the same room, but in his dream. When he had the dream about two dragons making him choose he didn't know what to do, but then she was there. Alec stood in front of him in a white dress look at him with the most loving smile he had ever seen. She bore the blue tattoos he saw the Avatar where, but it looked right. Like she was meant to wear them. It made him forget about the two feuding dragons next to him, and stand.
She had told him to come, and he began to walk to her. He answer was clear and he chose her. He thought his sight was set, but then the blue dragon attack her. Zuko yelled at her to run, but she was consumed in blue flames.
He regretted everything he did to get to this point, because he couldn't take it back. Zuko thought he could restore his honor while keeping his Uncle and girlfriend, but he couldn't have both. He should've known Alec wouldn't betray her friends. She had more honor than he would ever have.
Zuko pinched the bridge of his nose. He didn't know what to do from this point, so he sat down at the edge of his bed looking at Alec. He was lost and he had no idea where to go. What was he going to tell her when she woke up? What was he going to do? More importantly could she ever trust him again?
She didn't wake up for four hours. Zuko was getting worried. He debated wither or no to bring a healer, but he didn't want to leave her. He even thought about having a servant do it, but just as he got of the bed she moved. Alec had no idea where she was. She couldn't remember anything as she woke up. All she saw was the crimson pillow under her head. Her finger tips curled slightly and a pained grunt escaped her lips. Her forehead wrinkled in concentration as she tried to blink. There was an open window in her line of view and the light was over powering.
Alec placed her hand in front of her face to deflect the shine, and slowly moved back. What am I on? She thought as she noticed the unusual surface. She put her hand on the soft mattress and pulled herself up. Where am I? She asked herself as she looked at the red pillow under her head. Nothing made sense until turned her head and saw him. Everything prier from fainting came back and she started panicking. She quickly sat up and moved back wards until her back touched the board behind her.
Zuko saw the rising fear in her eyes again and took a step back. He held up his hands in hopes that she would understand. She was putrefied though. The fear frozen her and she felt like she couldn't move. Zuko saw her hesitation to attack, run, or do anything and saw this as a good chance to explain.
"I'm sorry. Please. I'm not going to hurt you," He told her like he from the beginning, but only this time he already had a plan for what he was going to say. Alec's heart beat was going a mile a minute, but she heard what he was saying.
"I never meant for any of these to happen. I can't do anything about it, but I promise I won't lay a hand on you," He said with full sincerity. Alec stared at him. She knew he was being sincere, and she wanted to believe him, but something inside told her not to. She couldn't trust him after everything he did, but as reality set in she realized she was going to have to see him every day. She wasn't sure if she could handle that. Just looking at him was bad enough. She felt like she her heart was melting, freezing, being torn and stretched. Even though she told herself she couldn't trust him it didn't stop the feelings that accrued when she saw him. She wanted to beat him to a pulp, have him hold her, tell him he was a horrible person, cry to ease the confusion. Instead she nodded her head in understanding.
"We're going to be together for a while. It might not be comfortable, but I'll leave you alone if you want," Zuko felt the tension and looked at the window. It was already sunset. It was time for dinner, but they weren't expecting him. He looked back at Alec, and then at the set of clothes at the foot of the bed.
"I got you a pair of clothes. They might not fit, but it's all I have right now. I'm going to bring extra sheets so I can sleep on the floor. The bed is big enough for three people, but I don't think you'll want to sleep with me," He explained, and as the last words came out of his mouth he caught the double meaning. Alec on the other hand didn't. Zuko furiously shook his head not knowing she hadn't.
"No. I mean sleep in the same bed as me. I'm not…" He was going to start rambling and he had to stop before it got far. He pinched the bridge of his nose and stopped himself. "I'm going to bring dinner. You must be hungry. While I'm gone you can put on the clothes."
Alec nodded her head again. Zuko didn't understand why she was so silent, but he didn't push her. He already did enough damage. So without another word he walked backwards until he touched the door handle. He wasn't sure leaving her alone was the best idea, but he needed to give her space. Alec watched as he walked out the door, and let out a breath. She got off of the bed, and examined the clothes. They were big, but they would do. She didn't want to wear them, but she had no chose. Everything from now one was going to be for survival. If that meant wearing Zuko's clothes, and being around him then so be it.
Alec ate on the bed while Zuko ate on the desk. Not a word was said. When Zuko had come back with food he also came back with sheets and an extra pillow. He brought one tray with various foods and tea. Once he set the sheets at the end of the bed he found Alec sitting where he last saw her in his clothes. He smiled but tried to hide it hoping it wouldn't creep her out. After that he set the tray in front of her. She just looked at the food debating if she should eat it or not. Zuko thought it was because he was standing there that stopped her from eating. So he took his plate and went over to his desk.
Still she wouldn't eat it until her stomach won. Alec wasn't really sure what she was eating, but it tasted like the best food in the world. Her hungry was being subsided with every bite, but she didn't eat fast. She knew it would only end badly if she did. So she ate little by little. There was a lot of food on the tray, and that was because Zuko put it there. She knew she lost a lot of weight from only eating a small bowl of rice a day, and sometimes not at all, but she wasn't going to get it all back in one day.
When she was done she left a lot of food uneaten. Now that her hunger was calmed she felt like her eye lids became ten times heavier. She blinked, but knew she couldn't fall asleep yet. Zuko say as she stood up and walked over to the fresh new sheets. Alec picked them up and walked over to the left wall.
"You don't have to do that. I'm going to sleep on the floor," Zuko told her, but she didn't stop. She set the thick sheet on the floor as a mattress, and placed the pillow down. Zuko didn't try to stop her. He didn't want to stop her from anything. He was going to give her as much freedom as he possibly could. Once Alec was done she laid on her make shift bed, and pulled the light blanket that she found in the sheets over her.
Zuko kept his eyes on her as she eased in to the bed she made. Her back was turned to him though, and that's all he saw. He saw her body move up and down in a steady motion, and he let out a breath. He wanted to tell her something before it was too late, before she went to sleep.
"Alec, I know I did something wrong, but it doesn't change the way I feel about you. I still like you a lot, and everything in Ba Sing Se was real. Every kiss meant something to me. I understand if it doesn't to you anymore, but you mean something to me," Zuko announced and Alec caught every word. She wish she hadn't either, because everyone added to her confusion and pain. Zuko couldn't see her face, but if he did he would have saw the tears that streamed down her cheeks.
Hello beautiful people!
Thank you for being patient. I needed to fix some plot holes.
So I loved all your predictions.
I put a little Alekka in here even though it wasn't fluff.
I do feel better from the fall. So yay! ^.^
The songs I listen to while writing this were
Echo - Jason Walker
When She Loved Me - Toy Story
If you re-read this while listening to these songs you'll understand what I felt. XD
I know this is a long author's not so I'm going to wrap it up
(P.s. I love it when you guys ramble on in the reviews)
Til next time
- Alec
