So, everything seems to be fine, and though Oin tells me there is no way to be really certain, he suspects somehow or another (I wasn't really listening, though I realize now that I should have been) that I will likely carry the child for the normal length of time for a human, maybe a wee bit longer. It is so strange not knowing this sort of thing. But there have been worse unknowns before.

It seems all of life is a series of those. More have come up, and that's what I wanted to write about. It is unusual, but exciting, what is happening now, that is, and I suppose I should stop beating around the bush and write about it now.

It must have been at high moonrise, but I was feeling restless. The babe within me is becoming more active as it grows, growing my stomach with it, and it has gotten to where it keeps me up at night. Fili sleeps like the dead, and so did not stir when I got up to walk about for a bit. The floor was cold so I pulled on my shoes, and, wrapping myself in my thick overgown, I trailed about the chamber for a while, and finally, fearful of disturbing Fili, let myself out into the great hall.

Everything was so quiet. My footsteps echoed so loudly, it seemed, and I wandered out of our corridor, and crossed the large place where the feasts are held. It was drafty, but not terrible, though I shivered in venturing across that large open space in the darkness. The torches are just enough light to see my hand before my face, and I was just about to turn about and seek the window seat near the entrance to the mountain, when I heard a noise.

I admit, it frightened me half to death. Footfalls, and the sounds of weapons being secured, strong and many, to outer clothing. There was a muttered curse in Khuzdul, and then a clatter, and the steps hurried nearer. I shrank into the shadows, and saw with shock, in the light of the flickering torches, Kili, armed to the teeth, and carrying a great pack.

"Kili –" I began, my voice loud in the darkness, and he jumped, staring at me with wild eyes.

"S-sigrid..." he stammered, letting his breath out, and hurrying close to me.

"What in the name of –"

"Hsh. You mustn't tell anyone."

"How can I tell if I don't know what in the world you are doing?"

His eyes shone in the darkness. "I am going to Mirkwood."

"Mirkwood!" I was stunned. "But Thorin –"

"I cannot stay here, no matter what he says," Kili said. "I am dying to see her."

"Why did you say nothing of this to anyone? To Fili?"

"I spoke of nothing else while your family was here. I thought I would leave with them."

I shook my head. "You cannot go alone. It is dangerous, Thorin would be so angry..."

"Aye." He nodded grimly. "But I will go nevertheless." He started to move away, but narrowed his eyes. "What are you doing up, and out here at this hour anyway?"

I murmured, "I couldn't sleep. But, Kili – think about it."

"I have," he growled. "I must see her again. It has been nearly a year."

"I am sure she thinks of you still."

"Aye, thinks of me! What good will that do?"

"What will you do, walk up to the elven king and ask to see Lady Tauriel? You will not be welcome there!"

"Sigrid..." Kili exhaled, his eyes shutting. "I have made up my mind."

"Just think it through," I insisted. "You can't go waltzing off into the blue like that."

"I have to see her!" To my sight, it looked as if his eyes filled with tears. A choke in his voice confirmed my suspicion. "I love her so, and we are forever kept apart."

I am so sorry for him. I know the love which he harbors for Lady Tauriel, which he has for some time repressed in his heart. "Take someone with you.," I told him gently. "A company. Make plans. A peace expedition."

"A peace expedition," he snorted. "Who would go with me? Everyone else here hates elves as much as Thorin."

I sucked in my breath. "I would go. If Fili chose to accompany you."

Kili shook his head, his brows drawing together, though I could see in the way he hesitated he was encouraged by the thought. "No. No, you cannot travel –"

"I am well enough. Did you ask him?"

Kili shook his head again. "No. I feared he would say no, like Thorin, and perhaps give me away. I must go," he insisted. "I will go."

"Come on." I turned, and began to trace my steps back toward our chambers. "Come on, ask him."
"Wake him now?"

"Or wait until morning. Just don't steal away like a thief in the night." I hesitated, and then gave him my hand. "-Brother."

He took it and pressed it briefly to his lips, letting out a sigh. "Very well. He won't mind being awakened, Mahal knows it's happened before."

So we ventured back to our chambers, and while Kili, dressed for travel, hesitated in the doorway, I shook my husband gently, hardly thinking of the mad plan which we were to propose.

"Fili – Fili..." I whispered, blushing to see that Kili watched, and then planting a soft kiss on his cheek. "Fili, wake up."

He let out a muffled grunt, and rolled over, regarding me with a lowered brow. "What – is everything alright?"

"Aye, it's just – Kili needs to talk to you."

"Not now," he said, his voice loud in the quiet room. "I want to sleep."

"Oh, don't be such a – so boring!" Kili exclaimed, crossing the room and helping himself, crawling across the bed, boots and all, and seizing his brother roughly. "It's important."

"Nothing is more important at this hour than getting decent sleep," Fili grumbled, throwing Kili aside. Kili landed none too gracefully, but by then Fili was sitting up, a tolerant grin plastered to his face. "What."

"Kili... wants to go to Mirkwood, and I –" I faltered as Fili looked at me. "I told him we could go with him."

Fili looked at me as if I had completely lost my sanity. "Why in Durin's name would we go to Mirkwood?"

"You know very well, you great oaf," Kili growled, glaring at him. "Every day my soul withers within me, thinking of the distance and the hatred that parts me from –"

"Ohhh..." Fili rolled his eyes. "The elf. Your elf. I thought we had finished with that."

Kili pounced on his for this, and I jumped back, watching with a grin their roughhousing. When they had thoroughly boxed each other's ears, and whatever else caused them to emit those strange mixed sounds of laughter and shouts of pain, Fili took Kili's head between his hands and stared him in the face.

"My wife..." he caught his breath. "-Is carrying a child. And you want us to cross Middle-Earth so you can talk to an elf?"

"I was going to go alone," Kili said innocently, pointing a hand my direction. "Your wife volunteered to join me if you would go."

"Don't be daft!" Fili exclaimed, releasing his brother, and staring at me. "You don't know what you propose."
"Aye, I do. The journey from Esgaroth to Erebor was not more than ten days and we traveled in a great company. I am sure we could make the distance in under a week with just the three of us."

"Madness..." Fili swore. "What if we were attacked? So small a number?"

"We are both fighters," Kili put in. "And who would attack us? Men? Orcs?"

"Elves?" grumbled Fili. He shook his head, his eyes meeting mine. "No. It is not worth it."

"I will go," Kili threatened. "Whatever anyone says."
"You will behave as a rational grown dwarf and not do anything foolish!" Fili vociferated. "Sigrid." He looked helplessly at me. "It is madness."

"I would like to see my family..." I said quietly. "The journey would not be much, and you could do your business with the elves – and I could see Esgaroth." I could see him wavering. "The entire trip would not take more than a cycle of the moon."

Kili opened his mouth to protest at this, but I shot him a glance.

"Thorin..." Fili said weakly.

I shook my head. "We are going to see Esgaroth. Kili is accompanying us."

"Yes – yes!" Kili said eagerly. "See?" He turned to his brother. "She is clever!"

"Bard and his family were just here."

"Even so." I put on my most determined look. "I am eager to see the city."

And so, after further debating, we are decided. It will be just the three of us, though Oin insisted on coming for my sake, and was prevented. We are departing for Erebor (and Mirkwood) in two days time. It is a brief period to prepare everything, but it shall be managed. What an adventure again befalls me... I have to admit I am rather looking forward to it.