Last week Itachi came down with Chicken Pox and recruited Deidara into Akatsuki.
Thanks for all the reviews! You can always leave more, I really don't mind. In fact, I love reading them. xD
I went back and corrected some stuff in chapters 2, 3, 4. No events were changed, but I did restructure some sentences and corrected some grammar problems. If you have time go back and read it. I'm hoping to go back over some of the other chapters as well.
Disclaimer: Kishimoto owns everything.
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Chapter 53 – Bath Time
Deidara struggled into his new uniform, leaning against the back of a large rock for leverage as he stuck his feet into the blue stirrup pants. He was still in a very bad mood after loosing a fight with Itachi and was thinking of millions of ways to blow him up. Unfortunately "thinking" about it didn't make him feel any better. Plus, the fact that the pants and shirts were exactly the right size was really creeping him out. Just how long had these people been stalking him?
Walking out from behind the rock he stood looking at the trio who had "recruited" him one hour earlier. Kisame and Sasori were discussing something and Itachi was sitting on the ground with his eyes closed, meditating.
"You clean up pretty good, kid." Sasori's gritty voice was going to be very difficult to get used to. "However, you need a bath. When was the last time you went near water?"
"You take away my freedom and you want me to take a bath? What are you, my father un?" Deidara sneered as he crossed his arms.
Itachi looked up at the boy with a curious look on his face.
"I take it that means never." Sasori said sarcastically.
"It's not 'never'. And I don't smell." He paused for a minute, then sniffed his shoulder. "Much. Who cares?"
Kisame laughed. Deidara really was something else, as far as he was concerned. Definitely more like a real twelve-year-old than Itachi was. "Don't worry, there's a bathhouse in the next village. I'll submerge him for you, Sasori."
"Put your cloak on, brat." Sasori ordered. Deidara gave him a dirty look and slipped on the cloak.
"It's too big." Sasori complained.
"So what? I'm still growing, un. In a few months it'll probably be too small." Deidara didn't think it was too bad, it was about a couple inches off the ground and would probably drag a little, but who cared?
"At least I got new clothes." Deidara grumbled. His old clothes were too small and he could barely fasten the pants. He kicked his foot a couple times. "And I like these shoes, un. They don't fall off. So when do I get to blow something up?"
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The bathhouse was an experience. Deidara was given a bucket, soap, washcloth and a towel. However, instead of sitting down next to the water trough he stood staring at the bathing accouterments with a look of confusion on his face.
"You look like you've never been to a bathhouse before. You aren't that dirty, so what gives?" Kisame laughed at Deidara.
"I take showers." Deidara mumbled. He looked around and saw that the other men and boys were sitting on benches and dumping water over their bodies and then scrubbing soap onto their skin and hair. "Showers are easier."
"Well, that's true. But then, you can't soak in a shower and the hotel we're staying at doesn't have any." Kisame started washing himself then scowled. "Scrub, boy. Believe me, you do not want me to do it for you." Several men looked in Kisame and Deidara's direction and Deidara blushed, partially in anger and partially because he actually hadn't ever been to a bathhouse before and didn't like feeling the "odd man out".
Itachi smirked at the image a grinning Kisame scrubbing a screaming Deidara with a bristle brush and dunking him into the soaking tub by his pony tail. The boy did smell bad and Itachi had a passing thought about how well Sasori was able to detect scents through his puppet body. He wouldn't have thought he could with any accuracy, but obviously the puppet master did.
Deidara glanced sideways at Itachi who was by now covered in a soapy lather. Deidara rubbed the soap on his cloth and soon he was also covered head to toe in suds. He had even managed to reach around and wash his back. Dumping water over his head he got all the soap off and smiled. That wasn't so bad after all. He looked at the bottom of his feet. They were clean, but the dirt had stained them brown. Perhaps after a few more baths it would go away.
Looking around, Deidara saw that Itachi and Kisame were now soaking in a large square-shaped tub. Kisame waved him over and soon the three of them were neck deep in very hot water.
"So, does the water hurt your hands?" Kisame asked.
"Nah. They don't have throats so they can't drown so it doesn't matter, un." Deidara lifted his hands above the water, tongues wagging. "Am I going to get to blow something up tomorrow?"
"Is that all you ever talk about?" Itachi asked. There was no emotion in his voice and Deidara looked closely at him, trying to determine the nature of the question.
"Yes. It is my art, my reason for living. What is your reason for living?" Deidara answered sarcastically.
Itachi was quiet for a couple minutes, then answered in a quiet voice. "No one has ever asked me that before."
"And you never asked yourself, either?" Deidara knitted his brows, not believing what he was hearing.
"No. Should I?"
"Yes! Of course! Life sucks, kid. If you don't have a reason then why carry on, un?"
"Deidara, have you considered therapy?" Itachi was serious. There was something wrong with that line of reasoning. There was no reason an individual had to justify his or her existence in order to continue living.
"Been there, done that, un. Blew up the doctor's office, got in trouble. Oddly enough, my life didn't get any better, un. When I left Stone village it got better though." He gave Itachi a large, toothy grin and then smirked when the dark-haired boy glowered at him.
Kisame refrained from laughing. Watching Itachi and Deidara interact was an experience. Itachi appeared to be emotionally stunted and Deidara was over-emotional. Yet they still both managed to argue like two twelve-year-old boys. He supposed it was just a matter of time before they attacked each other. Unfortunately, that fight would be broken up fast. They were too powerful and could severely injure or even kill each other. And Leader wanted both boys alive and in working order. Too bad. Kisame loved to watch a good fight.
"We have a couple days to get to our destination, but if you want to play with your 'art' along the way, go ahead." Kisame's answer seemed to make Deidara happy, although Itachi suddenly felt a strong urge to stock up on aspirin. He could sense a weeks worth of headaches coming his way.
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The mission the two Akatsuki teams were assigned to was a double assassination. The two targets were S-class missing ninjas with ridiculously high bounties. Since Akatsuki's primary goal at the moment was accumulating funds the money had both Leader and Kakuzu salivating.
Of course, in order to execute the mission the two teams would have to go to where the targets were living, at the base of the mountains on the other side of the desert. All four sighed at the though of having to spend two more days walking across the rocky, windy, barren land. Then, of course, there would be the journey back.
The four began the trip early the next morning. Deidara watched his new companions carefully as he walked behind them. Sizing them up was his highest priority at the moment. Since Sasori had explained, in graphic detail, the horrible and painful death he would experience if he ran away, he had no choice but to tag along. However, he had no intention of trusting them and he suspected that if he was going to survive he would have to know as much about this "Akatsuki" as possible.
The blond boy's gaze drifted first to Kisame. The tall man seemed to be fairly cheerful most of the time, but his mood could turn dark quickly. That sword of his was quite intimidating as well. Deidara had touched it when Kisame's back was turned and it instantly started sucking his chakra. The shark-man had found that incredibly amusing. He had then placed one of his clay spiders on it and Samehada had sucked so much chakra out of it that it shriveled up, turning to dust. Exploding the remains caused nothing more than a small burst of flame. Kisame had then laughed loudly as he used a water jutsu to put out the flames on the fabric bandages that encircled the blade.
Sasori acted like a crotchety middle-aged man who had seen it all, done it all, and didn't care what anyone else thought. He spoke his mind and was quick to criticize. His real appearance and age was hidden inside the puppet he traveled in. However, he gained points with Deidara when he described himself as artist and the two had already spent several hours discussing art. Somewhere along the line Deidara found himself calling his new partner "Master Sasori" and he noticed that seemed to cause a small swell of pride in the puppet master.
The previous evening in their hotel room (Sasori had insisted on sharing one to make sure Deidara didn't try to run away) the man had pulled out a small sewing kit and hemmed up Deidara's cloak. He explained that he sewed all of his puppet's clothes and he didn't want some bratty kid tagging along with him looking like a tattered waif. He had done a good job, the robe fit perfectly. The fact that he had used a puppet to do the actual sewing was even more remarkable.
The person Deidara had the most trouble sizing up was Itachi. He had discovered that he was the same age as himself and still lived in Konoha with his clan. He further learned that the Sharingan, the Uchiha clan's Kekkei Genkai, was what had captured him. Itachi had severely hurt Deidara's pride and he couldn't forgive him for that. He made an oath to himself to strengthen his own Genjutsu abilities so that he could deflect the Sharingan's attacks and take down Itachi.
Deidara spent a lot of time watching Itachi to learn as much about him as possible. It was hard, though. The dark-haired boy was quiet and could hold his emotions in check perfectly. Even now, as he walked next to Kisame his footfalls were silent, his head was held as if perpetually alert, and every time he glanced back at Deidara his face was unreadable. He didn't joke around or say anything that was outside of the situation. Often he wouldn't even answer questions, just nod or shake his head.
The relationship between Kisame and Itachi was curious. Deidara thought it almost looked like a father-son or brothers. Kisame would occasionally look to see where Itachi was or what he was doing, often walking behind him to make the task easier. The previous evening at dinner Itachi had scooted his chicken to the far end of his plate and Kisame had reached over with his chopsticks, picked up the meat and deposited back in the middle of the plate and told the boy to eat it first. Itachi had given him a dirty look, but did what he was told.
If Kisame was watching over Itachi, it could make it harder to take out the boy. He would have to separate the two. Or perhaps he could just take out both? There were probably and endless number of possibilities. Deidara shook his head to clear it. He wasn't one to plan stuff anyway, so why start now? He decided to just do whatever he needed to do to become more powerful, then go with the flow until he stood before Itachi in battle. He smiled, of course he would win.
"Deidara! Keep up!" Sasori yelled and Deidara noticed that he had fallen behind the others. Sighing, he frowned and stopped walking. Apparently Itachi wasn't the only one with a babysitter.
They were still a day's journey from the mountains and the rocky Earth country desert was nothing short of boring. Deidara noticed the others were staring back at him now as well.
Grinning, Deidara reached into a pouch and grabbed some clay with the mouth in his hand. It chewed it for a few seconds then spit out a small white owl. Deidara threw the bird up into the air and yelled "Katsu". The clay figure expanded until it was about six feet long and it hovered near the ground, flapping its wings to maintain momentum.
Jumping on the bird's back Deidara flew about twenty feet over the heads of his companions and stuck his three tongues out at them. Sitting down, he made himself comfortable.
"Lazy brat." Sasori yelled. Kisame's hearty laugh drifted up to him. Looking down he saw Itachi's normally expressionless face had a hint of curiosity in it for once.
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The foursome made plans to camp overnight and made use of Deidara's scouting abilities to find a good spot. Sure enough, he located a spring that sprouted up out of the ground and even though it was still a couple hours until sundown they decided that camping next to water was worth the delay.
The spring itself was relatively small, only about ten feet in circumference. The water tasted amazing and everyone dumped their canteens in the desert to refill them. A few small shrubs sprouted near the water and one of them even had small white flowers blooming. Several large stones, about fifteen to twenty feet tall stood against two sides of the spring, as if protecting it.
"This place is man-made." Deidara finally told them several hours later. The black sky was filled with bright stars and even though there was no moon in the sky the earth seemed to glow.
"What makes you say that?" Kisame asked.
"A jutsu raised those rocks out of the ground. You can tell because of their color and texture. Well, not now, its night, un. But they are too dark and rough. The other rocks in the area are slightly lighter and blasted smooth from the grains of dirt and sand carried by the wind." Deidara noticed he had everyone's attention and grinned. "Stone nins probably knew there was a spring underground and used jutsus to bring it out of the ground, then put the rocks there to protect and mark it. That's how I knew it was here, un. I flew above the area looking for rocks."
"Logical. I've seen several of these outcroppings popping up in odd spots, but never checked them." Sasori admitted, annoyed that he had missed something so obvious.
Itachi looked back at the water, then looked over at Deidara. The boy was a paradox. Seemingly undisciplined and over-emotional, he nevertheless held quite an intellect. No wonder Madara had exerted so much energy into his training.
Looking up at Kisame, Itachi suddenly wondered if Madara had done the same to Kisame as well. Was the elder Uchiha raising children to be warriors in his personal service? He seemed to remember Madara telling him as much at one point.
Kisame was eleven years older than him and had been raised by his clan in Mist village. Although any specifics beyond that were still unknown. Itachi almost suspected at times that his partner had been an orphan.
Fugaku theorized that there was a branch of the Uchiha clan residing in Mist but so far all attempts at proving it had failed. Itachi wondered if it was true then perhaps it would have been easier for Madara to train Kisame than it had been to train himself and Shisui. Although, Madara had said that Kisame was not to be told who was in charge of Akatsuki.
"Deidara! Touch that and I'll amputate your hands." Kisame growled at the grinning boy.
Itachi looked over and saw that Deidara had been reaching for a small bottle of sake that Kisame had set on the ground.
"Awe! Come on, can't you share?" Deidara cajoled the older man.
"I may not be a paragon of virtue, kid, but I don't give sake to twelve-year-olds. Especially when it's my last bottle." Kisame gave Deidara a smirk then took a swig out of the bottle.
"Not fair. I've never even tasted it yet, un." Deidara was now teasing him. "Have you had any, Itachi?"
"Huh?" Itachi was a little shocked that he had been included in the conversation. "Um. Yes, I've had some. I didn't like it." He remembered back to when his betrothement contract was signed and he and Sheeta had been given a few drops of sake to celebrate. They had both hated it, much to the amusement of their parents.
"See, he got some, un." Deidara laughed
"Don't give him any." Sasori warned Kisame. "He's just being a pest."
"I don't know, Sasori. If you ask me we ought to get him drunk, paint his face with make-up, stick a dress on him and take photos. Sake is great for blackmail." Kisame was laughing now, too.
Deidara blinked twice then frowned. "On the other hand, I'll just have my water."
Itachi sighed. This was getting too weird. The bad thing was he could totally see Kisame pulling a stunt like that with Deidara just for the hell of it. He made a mental note to never get drunk in front of his partner.
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The village was spread horizontally across the flat plain right at the base of the mountain. None of the buildings exceeded three stories and most were comprised of only a single story. There was no wall surrounding it and when they came closer they saw old steel rods coming up out of the ground in random places. They also saw large sections of concrete decaying in the desert wind.
"There must have been several large buildings here a long time ago." Sasori volunteered. Once he said that Itachi started to see more evidence of a city that probably existed before the village did. It must have been huge. All that was left now was crumbled concrete and rusted metal. And you had to look close to see that much.
Reaching the outskirts of the village they stopped walking. Sasori spoke, "The targets run an inn that is really a gambling house. We'll have to go in together and take them out simultaneously. If we do it one at a time the other might interrupt the fight. They are S-rank and very powerful."
"S-rank!" Deidara's eyes went wide. He had never fought anyone that powerful before.
"That a problem?" Sasori laughed at him. His gravelly voice made the sound very creepy.
"No, of course not." Deidara said a little too quickly. "Does the building have to be standing afterward?"
"No, of course not." Sasori repeated his young companion's words and laughed again. Deidara gave him a weak smile.
"Let's do this in the morning then." Itachi spoke in a calm voice. "They will have been up all night and should be at their weakest point at 9am."
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Standing outside of the three story inn the four Akatsuki prepared to enter the premises. They had monitored the building for several hours the previous day and realized that everyone staying there was a customer of the illegal casino. A few Itachi recognized from his bingo book.
Itachi spoke first, "Kisame and I will go directly to the basement where the targets have their rooms. Sasori, set a trap at the top of the stairs after we descend. If any of them come running up you can get them. Deidara, set some explosives around the building to blow it up after we exit, and backup Sasori if any of the targets leave the building."
"Why are we following your orders?" Deidara frowned in annoyance.
Sasori reached up and hit Deidara on the top of the head, causing the boy to stumble. "Quit complaining and do your job, brat."
"Fine." Deidara mumbled. He stuck his hands into his clay pouches and pouted. He was really starting to hate Itachi. Not that he liked him much to begin with.
Itachi ignored Deidara's short tirade and entered the building, Kisame following a few feet behind him. They entered into a large room full of tables and a large bar that stretched the width of the wall opposite the entrance. Behind the bar was a narrow door. Itachi point to it and the two made their way through it.
The office was also large. About four desks and a large safe occupied the right side of the room and the left contained a couple couches, coffee tables and a small bar. There was also a wide staircase that led down to the basement. The stairs were carpeted in a luxurious purple with gold braiding running alongside the edges.
Sasori entered the room and Itachi watched as the man pulled out a scroll and summoned three puppets. Kisame nodded to him and he and Itachi quietly walked down the stairs.
Reaching the bottom the two Akatsuki were surprised to see a massive room many times larger than the inn above it. It was obviously a sublevel from a previous building, perhaps belonging to one of the collapsed structures they had seen outside of town. It was also brightly lit. That, and the lack of any traps or sensors put the two Akatsuki on guard. Something was definitely very fishy.
Kisame reached over his shoulder and pulled out Samehada. He shook it a couple times and the wrappings fell away, revealing a large silver-gray sword with sharp scales instead of a blade. He grinned, showing his chiseled teeth as Samehada pulsed with excitement. It could feel a lot of chakra nearby.
Activating his Sharingan, Itachi peered into the large space. It was easily a quarter mile wide, and empty. The periphery had several doors. The question now was which doors held their targets.
Kisame held up his fist, showed two fingers, then pointed to the nearest door. Itachi extended his chakra and could feel the faint signatures of foreign chakra. He nodded once to the big man and they both made their way to the door. However, they stopped a few feet away from it. This was way too easy and they both knew it.
Itachi ducked as an arm swung over his head. He quickly dropped to the ground and swung his legs around to trip the man but he was already gone. Standing up he looked around. There was no one there. Looking over at Kisame he saw he was looking around just as puzzled.
"Did you see that?" Kisame asked, angry.
"Yeah." Itachi answered. "That's why I still have a head."
"Humph." Kisame could feel Samehada throbbing. There was a powerful chakra source nearby.
Itachi replayed the attack over in his head. The Sharingan could capture details and play them back in slow motion, which was how the Uchiha clan was able to copy the jutsus of other ninjas. "One came out of the wall and the other came up from the floor."
"Well, well, well. What we have here is a scion of the infamous Uchiha clan." A blond man with brown eyes materialized out of the floor.
"And tonight's sushi dish." A second man, this one with blue hair and blue eyes, walked out of the wall.
Itachi recognized them as their targets. The blond was Fumio and the blue-haired man was Ukyou. They were notorious for their ability to combine forces and cheat people out of large sums of money. Including the governments of Wind, Waterfall, and Earth. All three nations were currently offering huge rewards for the men's heads. They were so notorious that even the Yakuza wouldn't even deal with them.
"So, what's with the matching outfits?" Fumio asked, laughing.
"Akatsuki is here to take your heads." Kisame sneered at the two men. He was not happy about being called "sushi".
"Not likely." Ukyou answered petulantly.
Both con-men stood facing off with the Akatsuki when an explosion shook the building.
"Dammit Deidara! We said blow up the building after we leave!" Sasori's voice echoed down the stairs.
"There are fifteen people out here attacking me!" Deidara's voice could be heard faintly in the distance.
"There's only five! Quit exaggerating!" Sasori countered.
Ukyou and Fumio laughed. "Our clientele is very loyal to us. Your young friend doesn't stand a chance." Fumio replied.
"Itachi, didn't you say a while back that you had a new jutsu you needed to practice?" Kisame smirked.
"Yes." Itachi was looking at the man in front of him. Fumio was about five inches taller, medium build and wore only a pair of black shorts and a black t-shirt. "I haven't seen any blood in a few weeks."
Fumio heard his partner and Kisame engage each other in battle, but he was too busy looking at the boy in front of him to watch. Itachi's eyes turned from Sharingan into their Mangekyou form; black twin bladed irises on a palette of red.
The large, brightly lit basement suddenly turned into a flat red world with a black sky that had red clouds drifting rapidly across it. Fumio tried to move his hands to form signs for a jutsu and realized he was tied to a cross.
"Let me go you little bastard! How did you do this?" Fumio yelled angrily.
"This is my world." Itachi pulled out a Katana and stuck it into the man's stomach. Fumio screeched in pain. "Time passes according to my desires, and today, forty-eight hours of torture will suffice for one second in the other world."
Fumio cried out in pain as Itachi stuck him again and again with the Katana. "You will not die of your injuries, but your mind does not know that. It tells your nerve endings that what you feel is real."
"Stop it! What's wrong with you?" Fumio was panicking. He realized he was in a Genjutsu of some kind, but as experienced as he was it was unlike anything he had ever heard of. The boy in front of him was speaking in a calm, measured child's voice that was strangely eerie.
Itachi decided to try to stretch his Genjutsu and created one-hundred crosses and "Fumios". He added one-hundred "Itachis" to the scene and all of them stabbed Fumio repeatedly. The man continued to scream in agony. Itachi couldn't help but notice that the only thing missing was red blood. But then again, in the red world the blood would just fade into the background and be almost unnoticeable.
"Forty-seven hours, fifty-nine minutes and fifty-nine seconds to go." Itachi spoke without emotion.
Fumio couldn't stand it. The burning pain of the repeated katana slices was horrendous. He screamed and cried, pulling at the ropes that bound him. There must be a way to escape his brain kept repeating. Only one second had passed, how could that be?
After what seemed like an eternity the bright lights of the basement returned to Fumio's eyes and he fell to the ground, letting out a horrifyingly bone-chilling scream. His eyes stayed open, unblinking as he stared up at the ceiling.
"Fumio!" Ukyou, distracted, yelled for his comrade, shocked at what had just happened. Kisame took advantage of his opponent's momentary lapse of judgment and swung Samehada around, severing the man's head in one blow.
"Remind me not to piss you off too much." Kisame said as he approached Itachi. Fumio was laying on his back, mouth open in a silent scream, eyes wide and hands and legs lifted off the ground, frozen in a fighting position. "I think you broke his brain." Kisame laughed.
"Quite effective." Itachi smirked. He pulled his Katana out and severed the man's head. It was the first time he had used Tsukiyomi and he was pleased that it had worked so well. He felt a little tired, but it was about the same as a hard workout. He looked around the basement, checking his vision. He could still see Kisame clearly, and he could see the stairway and the doors at the far end of the large room. He wondered just how long it would take before his vision would begin deteriorating. Madara went blind eventually, but he was in his twenties when it happened. Or so Itachi assumed. He realized he didn't really know.
The pair packaged up the heads in plastic bags then placed a jutsu on them to prevent spoilage. The sounds of battle above them were still loud and they stood at the bottom of the stairs wondering if they should wait until Sasori and Deidara were finished or join in. Generally, ninja liked to finish the battles they started without interruption.
"We need to get out of the building in any case." Itachi finally decided. "Deidara might get carried away and blow it up with us in it."
"Yeah, he probably would." Kisame laughed.
They started walking up the stairs when Itachi missed a step and he stumbled. Shaking his head he looked back down at the stairs. He had, for a moment, experienced double-vision. Not expecting it he had placed his foot on a stair that didn't actually exist. Luckily he hadn't fallen.
"Itachi? Are you sick again?" Kisame spoke with a small amount of concern in his voice.
"No I'm fine." He started to walk back up the stairs but Kisame reached up and grabbed his shoulder, stopping him.
"Don't tell me that again, kid. What just happened?" This time his words were filled with anger. "I don't appreciate going into battle with someone who is too sick to hold his own. Especially when he lies about it. Sasori isn't exactly our ally and that Deidara kid would love to see your head on a pike, in case you hadn't noticed."
Itachi was taken aback and opened and closed his mouth a couple times, trying to think of something to say. Finally, he decided maybe the truth was better. After all, Kisame did have a point.
"Mangekyou Sharingan is the eye jutsu I used. The technique is called 'Tsukiyomi'. It will…" He paused, swallowing hard. Saying it out loud and to someone other than a clan member made everything sound so much worse. But then, that's because it was bad. It was the worst thing that could happen. "It will eventually rob me of my sight. Just now I saw double for a second."
Kisame looked down on the boy who was standing a couple steps above him. "Why, Itachi?"
The boy looked up the stairs, the battle apparently had ended. He could hear Sasori ordering Deidara to place the explosives so they could blow up the hotel. "I have to kill someone. After that…" He left the words unsaid. He really didn't believe Kisame would understand the details and he didn't feel like explaining them anyway.
Kisame patted Itachi a couple time on the shoulder and released him. "Life does that to us sometimes. Come on; let's get out of here before Deidara blows us up."
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The explosion was spectacular. The entire three story Inn exploded outward in an "artful" (according to Deidara) display of white, red and gold. The boy was very happy and grinned for hours as he flew over his three comrades on his white owl. He led them back to the same camping space they had used before.
Sleeping in turns they left Deidara on watch, only to be woken up about 3am when the boy shrieked.
"What the hell are you supposed to be?" Deidara stood up quickly and stuck his hands in his clay pouches.
"I think we scared the child."
"My eardrums are broken. Let's eat him."
'Must be Zetsu.' Itachi said to himself. Opening his eyes he saw the tall plant-man standing about six feet in front of Deidara.
"He's one of us, Deidara. Stand down." Sasori spoke calmly to Deidara and the boy relaxed a little. He turned his attention to Zetsu. "Are you here to collect the heads?"
"Yes, if you don't mind." Polite Zetsu answered. Kisame stood up and handed the two bags over.
"Deidara, this is Zetsu. He acts as our hunter-nin and delivers stuff. Zetsu, this is the new guy, Deidara." Kisame made a rather informal attempt at an introduction.
"Now we have two appetizers in Akatsuki." Robot-voice Zetsu looked over the boy. "And this one is smaller than the first one." He looked over at Itachi, sizing him up.
"We can't eat him yet, Leader hasn't told us to so stop complaining." Polite Zetsu reprimanded his companion, then disappeared into the ground.
Deidara's eyes were wide with shock. "Did… he… want to eat me?"
"Yes." All three Akatsuki answered the boy.
He took a deep breath and sat back down on the ground. Then quickly stood up, looking around at his feet. "He's not coming back is he?"
"Not this time. But if you keep waking me up like that I'll feed you to him myself." Kisame said grumpily as he laid back down on the ground and closed his eyes.
Deidara sighed, then sat back down. He was on the brink of drifting off on his watch before Zetsu arrived, but now he was wide awake. "What the hell have I gotten myself into this time?" He said out loud. Everyone heard him, but no one answered. After all, when you got right down to it they were wondering the same thing about themselves.
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I know I said in the previous chapter that Itachi would be returning to Konoha but it didn't really fit. Deidara's last words here seemed to be the perfect chapter ending. So… next week Itachi returns to Konoha and has a talk with a certain medic and Danzou is concerned about all the recent assassinations.
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