Disclaimer: It all belongs to Stephenie M. No harm intended in any way. I am just lucky to dabble with them.

WARNING: This story contains drama, blush-worthy cursing, and lots of mature situations.

Chapter Title: One is the Loneliest Number

Chapter Song: "Broken" by Lifehouse

Bella's POV:

It was a tickling sensation that woke me. I blinked open my eyes and then waited for them to adjust to the dark. Edward was right beside me sleeping on his stomach with an arm draped across my chest and his forehead pressed to my shoulder. It was his hair rubbing against the top of my shoulder with each deep, even breath he took that was tickling me. I smiled as I turned on my side to snuggle against him but just as quickly found myself frowning and reaching for my lamp, suddenly gripped with a desperate desire to see his back.

Once I had the light on, I scooted closer to him and lightly trailed my fingers along the outer edge of the angel's wings—my wings. Even though I knew in my head he would never have it removed, I had still needed the visual proof for some reason. Maybe it was anxiety from barely remembered dreams, or maybe lingering worry I was bad for him … maybe I was just scared. I'd been scared and lost for so long now that I could hardly remember what it was like to be truly happy. But I could have it back. Edward would make sure of it if I only gave him a chance. And with Emmett out of the way, it really seemed like it was possible. But it damn sure wasn't going to be easy no matter how much I wanted it. I didn't have some switch I could flip to just get over all that had happened.

Even though I was touching him very lightly, it was still enough to wake Edward. He let out a deep groan and then lifted his head to look at me, giving me a sleepy grin. "Hey, Angel."

"Didn't mean to wake you. You can go back to sleep if you want."

"How about you tell me what you're doing up first? Your alarm hasn't gone off yet."

I shrugged and said, "I don't really know. I just woke up."

He smiled again and then shifted in the bed so that his head was resting on my thigh and one arm was hooked around my waist. "I can read your face and I know there's more to it. But if you aren't ready to tell me yet, I'm okay with that. Just know that when you are ready to talk, I'm here for you. And I love you."

I smiled as I held him to me with one hand and traced his tattoo with my other. "Why are you so sweet?"

He let out a loud yawn before he answered me. "Because you deserve it."

I rolled my eyes at his cheesy response and then said, "No I'm serious. Why are you trying so hard to be sweet? Why haven't you said I'm being irrational since we've talked and I know I don't have to be scared of Emmett now?"

"If I really thought you were being that way, I would say so. But you are only reacting to the situation you've found yourself in, a mess that I created. These past months have been very stressful for you and it makes sense that you would have trouble sleeping. And talking and trusting. This isn't something I can fix all at once so I'll be sweet and patient and do whatever you tell me."

I sighed and bent forward, resting my forehead against his short hair. "For just this morning, can we pretend we're back in May when the only thing between us was the love we felt for each other?"

"That love is still there, Bella."

"It doesn't seem like it should be. It doesn't seem like it should have survived all of this. But it did and when I'm with you like this … I want to believe something that feels so right isn't wrong, but if that's true, then how did we get here?"

Edward tapped my leg and once I was sitting up, he did the same. He took both of my hands into his and looked me right in the eyes. "The love we have is right, Bella. The part that went wrong had to do with me as a person. I made mistakes. Horrible mistakes that hurt you, that hurt my family. And I want to make up for that. I want to show you I'm not that idiot coward anymore."

"But what if you're wrong. What if the love isn't enough? What if we just end up hurting each other more?"

"Bella, the most alive I've ever felt is every moment spent with you. Nothing else gives me that rush, that sense of right and … and life. Not holding back and being open to spontaneous events and to just letting go and experiencing this life instead of watching from the sidelines. I'm willing to risk the hurt to get all of that back."

I reached out, trying to ignore the shake in my hand, and pressed my palm against his beating heart. "But you were safe on the sidelines."

"I was a ghost, Bella. A badly drawn caricature of the man I've always wanted to be."

"And now?" I asked, forcing myself to meet his gaze.

Edward reached for me and brought me to sit in his lap. "Now I'm going to show you I'm a man you can respect, trust, and love."

"What if all the lies and errors are just proof we aren't right for each other?"

"What if they're just mistakes made from fear of losing something wonderful, something that felt too good to be real at times?"

I must have looked as shocked as I felt because Edward laughed at me before pressing a kiss to my forehead. I pushed on his cheeks to get his lips away and to see his face. "You mean that? It really felt that way to you?"

"Feels, Bella. With you, there's love, laughter, challenge, and so much passion. I've never had all of those with just one person. Only you. Do you remember the first date I took you on?"

"How could I ever forget that? The dinner and the dancing and the way you made me feel like I was so beautiful to you."

"You are beautiful, inside and out. And the words I said to you then still apply now … You're the bright light in my life and when I'm with you, I feel alive in so many ways."

It took me a moment to get my lips to move. "I'm sorry I wasn't there for you in Seattle."

Edward didn't bother trying to clean the tears that had started to trickle down my face. He just held me and let me cry, something I'd needed without knowing it. I'd figured by now I'd cried enough for a lifetime. But the weight of being without him for so long and finally being back in his arms was just too heavy of a load. And thinking of him missing me the way I'd been missing him … Even with his lying he didn't deserve that kind of pain.

When I had calmed down and Edward was sure I wasn't on the verge of starting up all over again, he left me to get something from his room. He wasn't gone long and when he came back, he had a cheesy grin on his face and an arm behind his back.

"Do you have any idea how silly you look right now?" I asked him.

He kept right on smiling while crawling back into bed, this time hovering over me. "I'm making you smile so it can't be all bad."

"Just show me whatever you're hiding."

Edward shifted so that he was lying beside me and propped up on his arm. His smile widened as he placed something square on my stomach. His hand was barely out of the way before I reached down and grabbed for it, finding a plastic CD case. I turned it to see the cover and immediately smiled wide.

"The Donnas," I said excitedly as I showed him the case.

He nodded and smiled before laying his head next to mine on the pillow. "I know yours got ruined in the car accident so I picked you up a new one. I wanted to give it to you weeks ago but I wasn't sure you'd accept it."

I hugged the case to my chest and rolled onto my side to face him. "You saw it? The car?"

Edward didn't answer right away; he just looked at me and twirled the ends of my hair between his fingers. "I saw pictures, which was enough."

His tone and his expression were so sad and I just wanted to make it better. But I didn't really know what to say so I just opened up my mouth and waited to see what would come out. "I'm sorry about your car."

Edward's eyes widened in surprise. "You think I care about that car?"

"Well, yeah. You were looking so sad just now. And that time squirrels got into the engine block you were so upset."

He sighed as he put his arm around me and pulled me closer. "It's not the car I feel bad about, Bella. When I think about that car … I get angry with myself that I made you drive that day. And then I feel so much relief that the car was so sturdy. Your side of it …" His breath caught in his throat and his eyes grew moist while his arm tightened around me. "Any other car and I might have lost you forever. That thought scares the crap out of me even now."

"Makes it hard to breath, doesn't it?"

He nodded in agreement. "Makes my chest burn too and my head ache. So I try to think about anything else but …"

I gave him a moment but when he never spoke up, I finished his sentence for him. "It never works. You just think about it even more."

"Yeah," he agreed. "You know, Emmett was the only one to personally see the car. My dad had wanted to wait until after my surgery, but Emmett had needed to get out of the hospital for a bit so he figured he might as well salvage what he could from the car. I've been wondering if things would have turned out differently if he'd listened and waited. I'm not making excuses for him at all because I honestly don't believe there is one, but it had to be hard for him to look at the damage."

I tried to imagine what the car might look like and how I would have been feeling if I'd been the one to see it. Edward had only seen a picture and it had him visibly upset. Emmett had never been all that good at letting his emotions out and even worse when they came out without his permission. Like Edward said, I wasn't making excuses but I did feel it had to be hard for his brother to see the car and see just how close he'd come to losing his twin. And even though he'd been so angry at me and said those awful things, maybe Emmett had even been afraid of nearly losing me too.

"What are you thinking about so hard?" Edward asked, nudging my head with his to get my attention.

"Do you think I should have tried to stay and talk to you instead of leaving the hospital? Do you think Emmett would have taken back what he'd said right then?"

Edward seemed to really think about my question before answering me. "I don't know that it would have helped with as scared as Emmett had made you. But I do know you need to stop looking for a way to blame yourself, Bella. Everything you did and said was a reaction to the situation I created by not being honest with everyone, especially you. Having your rock, your protector, talk to you that way … And it was more about keeping me safe than what Emmett said. At the time, I think you did the best thing you could think of for everyone involved."

"I did it because I love you."

Edward smiled as he tossed my CD behind me and then pulled me flush against his chest. He kissed my cheek and said, "I know. And I love you for loving me that much."

"I hated that the most."

"What?"

"Not being able to say I loved you. It took me so long to be able to say it and know I meant it in the right way. It hurt so much to feel it and not be able to say it. And I was so scared all the time that you would say something or look at me a certain way and it would come flying out of my mouth. But the worst part … the worst part was that I really wanted it to come out, and then I would feel so selfish and horrible for feeling that way."

"I'm sorry you had to go through that, Bella. I wish I had a way to take it all back and keep you from feeling that kind of pain."

"That would be nice to have. A reset button to go back and fix stuff."

He mumbled a "yeah" while sliding his fingers through my hair and kissing the top of my head. "I'm sorry and I love you," he whispered just loud enough for me to hear.

"I love you, too."

We held each other in silence until my alarm went off and Edward moved to silence it. "What would you like for breakfast?" he asked when he was looking at me again.

"Ask me after I've had a shower and woken up."

Edward snorted at me. "You've been up with me for at least an hour and you're still not awake?"

"You always have felt more like a dream."

He gave me such a sweet smile that it made tears prick at my eyes. "I dreamed of you so often, Bella. I missed you so much. I wanted to call you, to see you, every single day. But I couldn't leave without being healthy first. And I couldn't seem to get you to understand through letters or emails."

"I read them all wrong."

"Maybe I wrote them all wrong. Either way, we're here now."

"Yeah, we are," I agreed as I slid my fingers between the short strands of his coppery hair and let them rest against the back of his neck. I looked into his eyes, seeing the truth and the love in them, and then I pulled until his lips were touching mine so he could feel my truth and my love. I had no idea where we were or where we would go, but right there in that moment, I just wanted him to know how I felt about him.

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I walked into the coffeehouse and right away spotted Angela whispering to Ben near the kitchen door, both of them wearing big smiles. Kate was to their right, pretending to be focused on setting out the sweetener packets. From the smile on her face I knew she was really eavesdropping on the lovebirds.

"Morning," I called out, hoping to catch Kate off-guard and startle her. It didn't work and only got me the lovely vision of her middle finger and grin.

As I was standing up from stowing my bag under the counter, Kate tossed half her body across the counter and almost knocked me over. "Hello, Bella Swan."

"What the hell is wrong with you?" I asked, laughing a little. "You act like you're surprised to see me this morning."

"Not you. But that big ass smile on your face is a definite surprise."

"What are you talking about? I smile all the time."

Kate sputtered as she slid off the counter and stood in front of me to stop me from walking past her. "You used to smile all the time."

"I still smile," I argued. "I smiled last week when Ben kissed Angela in front of us and she turned as red as a cherry."

"You grinned, which is so not the same. You did not have the all out gorgeous smile you were rocking when you waltzed through that door just a minute ago. You were thinking about Yummy, weren't you?"

I was pretty sure my smile answered her just fine because she let out a squeal and hugged me hard enough to hurt. But I didn't want her getting the wrong idea so I pushed her arms off of me and said, "We're just talking, Kate." And that was the truth. We'd had a pretty nice talk this morning and then he'd made me breakfast and drove me into work. It had been a nice calm morning with him.

"That's a helluva lot more than you were doing last week, Bells."

"Just talking, Kate," I said sternly. "We don't know that we're going to get back together."

"You will." She sounded so confident and I felt a little jealous that I couldn't feel just a bit of that—especially since we were talking about my life.

"What makes you so sure?" I asked her.

"Because you two love each other. When I see the two of you looking at each other, I can tell the rest of us don't exist. I can tell that no matter how shitty your day has been being with him makes it a good day."

"Unless he's the one making it shitty. He lied, Kate. He locked me out on something so important and he left room for all this bad stuff to settle in between us."

"I know that. I'm not saying it will be easy for either of you to work things out. I'm just trying to say that Edward's a good guy and he loves you and wants to be with you. And I know you want to be with him. I know how much you've missed him this summer. That kind of love and commitment to each other is worth fighting for, Bella."

I wasn't sure why, but I felt the need to argue with her. "I never said I missed him."

Kate pulled her lips up into a grin. "Sweetie, you sucked so bad at pretending you were fine that the truth was easy to see. You love him and want him. Now you just have to let yourself have him."

I thought about Kate's words on and off all morning between talking with customers and pouring cups of coffee. It was nice to think it could be so simple, to just say out loud I wanted him and then stand back and watch as everything fell into place. But that wasn't real life. Nothing was ever that easy and if it ever was, it was only ever a calm before a bigger storm.

When my break came and I found myself still thinking about Kate's words, I decided a distraction was in order so I pulled out my laptop to find something else for my brain to fixate on. And as I powered on my laptop, I found something—Numb. I'd totally ditched him on Saturday without a word. And I hadn't thought to send him any kind of email yesterday either. I hoped he hadn't waited around for me for long before giving up. Maybe I'd get lucky and find out he'd been busy too. Then I could totally play up the "you forgot me" card the next time I was in the mood to tease him.

I had two emails in my inbox—one was junk and one was from Numb. So much for him not being around and not noticing my absence, I thought as I clicked to open the email.

BB,

Good news for me and bad for you. As much as I enjoy our chats, I've been offered the opportunity to spend some time with my girl. I don't know when I'll be around again. I'll be checking my email on occasion so if you really need to talk, send me an email. Otherwise I'll try to catch you next week since I know you'll be spending the weekend with your mom.

Numb

PS – As much as it pains me to admit it, your playlist is awesome. There's not a single song I would change on it. Perfectio. Just try not to be an ass about it next time we talk. LOL

I snorted at his little PS section and then shot him a quick response.

Numb,

I'd tell you to stop doubting me but I know you won't listen since you enjoy arguing with me so much. By the way, you forgot the n on perfection. Yes, I'm the grammar police. I'll let you off this time with a warning, but next time I'll fine you! HA!

Congrats on progress with your girl. Remember the words of your brother – don't be an ass. And remember my words of wisdom – don't hook up in the backseat of the car for your makeup sex session. Good luck!

Chat at ya later!

BB

There was no sense on updating him on my life. He wouldn't be around to read it and even if he was, he wouldn't really pay attention. Not with the way he had his girl on his brain. And having actual encouragement from her meant he would be even more unfocused than usual. Those sounded like good enough reasons to me anyway.

If I were perfectly honest though … If I were honest, I just didn't want to look too closely right now. I didn't want to look beneath that rightness I felt with Edward to see what was lurking beneath. What I wanted was for Kate's words and Edward's words to be true—that I only had to take the chance and I would be rewarded with the love I'd had before the car accident.

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I stepped out of the coffeehouse and right into a sunny August afternoon. I was also met with the sight of Edward leaning against the side of his Suburban and smiling right at me. "Waiting for someone?" I asked, trying and failing not to smile back.

"Yes, actually. There's this girl that I love. She's gorgeous and I've been thinking all day long about kissing her."

I laughed and crossed my arms in front of my chest. "What the hell makes you think I'm going to kiss you, Cullen?"

His smile took on that cocky edge I had seen so much since he'd come back to Portland. I'd found his shyness to be sweet and charming but this confident side of him—it was damn near irresistible.

"You like kissing me," he answered. "Plus there's that whole you love me thing."

"Rumors and conjecture."

Edward darted forward and before I could get out of his way, I was in his arms and being swung around while I gave a loud yelp and a laugh.

Still laughing, I slapped at his shoulder and said, "Put me down, you damn goof."

He listened but it was only so he could plant his lips on mine. I thought for a second about slapping his shoulder again and denying him his kiss to tease him, but I decided instead to grab his shirt and get closer to him. It would have been a damn shame to ruin such an intense melding of lips and tongues.

The kiss slowed bit by bit until finally Edward broke it. He kept close, though, resting his forehead against mine while giving me a big cheesy grin. "Hi."

I managed not to snort at him, giving him a smile instead. "I like your greeting skills."

"I like the way you reciprocate."

I finally relaxed my fingers from their hold on his shirt but it was only so I could get my arms around his neck in a hug almost as tight. I'd planned on saying something joking but now that I was hugging him, I just wanted to focus on how good it felt to be so close to him, to be holding him and be held by him.

"How was work?" His voice was low and his hands were trailing up and down my back in that way that always seemed to calm me. I didn't need calming right now so it just felt nice.

"It was good," I said. "I made some tips to put toward my dress for Esme and Carlisle's anniversary party."

Edward's hands left my back and settled over my own hands, gently pulling them away from his neck. He kissed the palm of each while smiling at me. "I know you like to be independent. And I like that you're independent. I don't want to step on that at all. But I was wondering if you'd let me pay for your dress."

"Why would you want to?"

"Because I'd really like to do something nice for you. You've been through hell lately and if I can do anything at all to bring a real smile to your face, I want to do that. Besides, I figure you'll have a much easier and better time with Alice if you aren't trying to rein her in to a budgeted number."

"Would it really be just a nice gesture or would it be a spoil in disguise?"

He smiled as he folded my hands into his and pulled me closer, trapping our joined hands between our chests. "Can't it be both? After all, I plan to be with you for an obscenely long time and I'm going to have to keep you interested in me somehow. I figure spoiling you every now and again is a good start."

"So if I stick around, there could be spontaneous bouts of spoiling happening?"

Edward laughed and then he kissed me softly and soundly. "I love you."

With him being so sweet I couldn't help but blush and smile. I'd been so sure just a week ago that I'd never have anyone make me feel this way—loved and wanted—I'd never have him. Because while I was sure there were other guys out there who were sweet and charming, I knew none of them would touch my heart the way he had. None of them would understand me the way he did because none of them would love me enough to try the way he had.

And yet knowing all of that about him didn't make it any less scary to be around him. It didn't stop me from waiting for the next mistake—the next lie or half-truth. Because like I'd told him so often, loving one another had never been the problem. Trust was the thing we kept getting wrong.

"What are you thinking about so hard?" Edward asked.

I smiled up at him so he wouldn't worry about my moment of spacing out. "I love you too."

His look of concern immediately turned into a wide smile. "So does that mean I can buy your dress?"

I thought about his question—really thought about it. He was asking to do something nice for me, not to buy forgiveness or a second chance. He was only after a smile from me. We both knew I could buy my own dress, just like we knew a dress wasn't going to fix what was wrong. Plus it wasn't like it was just some random thing; the dress would be for Esme and Carlisle's party. There wasn't a good reason I could think of to not let him do this one small thing for me.

"Sure. Why not? It's not like you would dare attach strings to a 'Make Bella Smile' purchase," I told him.

"Well, there is one little string."

I narrowed my eyes, looking at him suspiciously. He'd never been one for strings before but since he was still smiling, I didn't think it could be anything too big or bad. "What's your string?"

"Bella, I want you to be my date for the anniversary party."

That was the last "string" I had been expecting and I snorted at him for it. "I already told you I would spend the weekend in Forks with you."

"That's not the same, though. I want you to officially be my date for the party. I want to spend the night at your side and not just be in the room with you."

I should have been happy at his admission but it actually left me feeling awkward. "But we haven't talked yet, Edward. We haven't decided what we are or what we want to be."

"I know but I was just thinking maybe this could be a way to help you figure things out. If you enjoy it, then maybe you'll be more likely to give me another chance."

"And if I don't?"

"Then we know a close friendship full of teasing and laughter is in our future."

"You won't want that. You think you do now because you're so confident we're going to work things out and be happy in love again. But if it doesn't go that way then you'll be hurt and you won't be able to stand being around me."

Edward let of my hands and wrapped his arms completely around me, making me feel both sheltered and comforted instantly. "I've already experienced life without you, Bella, and I know that's something I definitely won't be able to stand. I'm not going to lie to you; I will be hurt if you don't want me back. But I'm also going to feel lucky if you keep me as a friend. I know how caring you are and how loyal. I'd be crazy not to want to keep that side of our relationship."

As great as his words were, I needed time to digest them. And also, my stomach was begging for something of its own to digest. "You promised me lunch after work and it's now after work. Where's my lunch?"

He could have tried to get me to talk more about us but he didn't. Instead, he walked me to his vehicle and opened the door for me, stealing a small kiss before closing me in. And then he took me to a restaurant a few blocks over from the coffeehouse, a place I'd gone a few times before with Kate and Angela. We ate salads and enjoyed good meaningless conversation, tossing out goofy ideas for what kind of dress I should wear to the party. It was a good lunch—the kind of lunch I'd really needed right then. Lunch with a friend.

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Edward's POV

We'd been sitting parked outside of Dr. Bennett's office for a few minutes now and Bella had yet to say anything. I couldn't tell from her expression what kind of mood she was in and I wished she would look at me so I could try to tell from her eyes. I probably could have called her name to get her to look my way but I was so nervous for her reaction that I kept silent—and kept rubbing my palms on my jeans to keep them dry. This was almost worst than stage fright was for me.

Bella shifted a little in her seat and pulled in a breath. "So I'm guessing you exercised your rights as an approved person on my medical information."

What do I say? I shouted in my head. I didn't want to lie but I couldn't tell her the truth either. I really hadn't planned this whole thing out as well as I'd thought. Things were so tense with her and if I fucked this up …

"Not exactly," I finally said. "It was more of a hunch. Dr. Bennett just confirmed you had never gone back to see her."

Bella gave a nod. Just a nod. A. Nod. What the hell was it supposed to mean? Was she okay with my answer? Was she about to beat my ass for interfering? Was she going to take me off her list? Was she even going to go inside?

I couldn't handle not knowing just like I couldn't handle not touching her any longer; I needed that affirmation that she was right here with me. "Bella? What are you thinking?" I asked as my hand settled against her back. I could feel her heart beating in a normal steady rhythm so she couldn't be upset. But if she wasn't upset then what was she feeling?

Her lips parted and the words that came from her mouth couldn't have shocked me more if she'd told me suddenly liked baseball. "I didn't see the point in coming here right after. Everything hurt so much so what was one more thing? I thought maybe if I was lucky, it would hurt so bad that it would eclipse the pain of losing you. But then that particular hurt never showed up and I knew what it meant."

She knows? How can she know? How long has she known? Why hadn't she gone to her doctor before now if she knew? I decided to stop asking myself and talk to her instead, "How long have you known? Because I didn't think you had noticed at all."

She gave me that sad smile I'd seen way too much of lately, a profound sadness that was echoed in her brown eyes. "Of course I noticed. I was hurting and upset, not blind. I see the changes in my body."

"So what are we going to do about it?"

She gave a half-hearted shrug. "She'll have to take it out."

"What? What are you talking about? You can't really want her to just take it out?" I was hitting that pitch Alice lived on but I couldn't bring my voice back down. I couldn't believe Bella would really want to get rid of our babies. I knew I'd hurt her and that I had a lot to prove and make up for, but for her to not want our babies because of my failures … I couldn't let her do that. Not to herself and not to us. It was only the hurt talking right now but once it started to fade, she would be ecstatic over the babies—I knew that deep in my heart, just like I knew I'd never love anyone the way I loved her.

While I was busy freaking out, Bella was calmly speaking as if we weren't in the middle of a life-changing conversation. "It's not going to be that bad, you know. Dr. Bennett will put me in the hospital, scoop it all out, and then that part of my life will be over. I'll probably be sore for a little while but I'll be okay. This is just a small bump in the road."

I tried to respond; I tried to use a normal voice to tell Bella how she was breaking my heart right now. But the words just didn't want to come out. "I can't … I can't believe you would say this. I just … I just thought … you always said it was so important to you."

Bella's expression went from calm to concerned in seconds. "We need to stop for a minute here because I'm getting a bad feeling that we aren't talking about the same thing. You look ready to fall apart. And if we are talking about the same thing … Look, you just don't need to be that worried, okay? The condition is more dangerous than the solution."

She doesn't know! It's not the babies she's talking about. It can't be. So then what is it? Stop asking yourself and ask her! I listened to myself and did just that. "I think you're right. I think we aren't talking about the same thing. So then what are you talking about, Bella?"

"I'm talking about my female parts having given up the ghost and stopped working altogether. It's time for Dr. Bennett to do the whole hysterectomy thing and take it out. There's no point in keeping it around if it doesn't work."

Before I could stop myself I spit out a too loud "Thank God." And my bright idea for recovering from my blunder was to talk fast enough to blend my words together; it was probably a good thing since I doubted I was making much sense to her. "Well, not in that way. Of course I don't want you to need surgery. I just meant it in that we really weren't talking about the same thing."

"O-kay." Bella's one word came out slowly while her eyes stayed locked on my face. She probably thought I'd lost my mind and if we'd been talking about the same thing just now, I really might have done just that.

"So now that you're no longer freaking out, tell me what you were talking about," she demanded.

And here I was back at the beginning, unable to tell the truth or a lie. "Is there any chance we can just go in and see Dr. Bennett first?" I asked. "If I'm somehow wrong, then it'll be one less mistake between us."

"No way," she practically growled. She was shaking her head so hard that a strand of hair slapped her cheek. "I did that whole me talking and opening up while you sat back and listened thing once before. This time around, we both talk or we just go our separate ways right now. I mean it, Edward."

I had kept one thing away from her. One. There were plenty of things I'd shared with her but it was like she'd forgotten that. "I talked to you, Bella. I told you things I never told anyone else."

Her eyes took on a fiery look and her finger darted out, poking me right in the middle of my chest. It always amazed me that her aim could be so dead on when she was pissed; any other time she missed her target by a wide margin.

"Did you tell me about your heart, Edward?" she barked at me. "Did you tell me about your grandmother and the promise you made to her? 'Cause I'm pretty damn sure that promise was getting your heart surgery. Did you tell me about Dr. Chris or the real reason you were going to Seattle? No. You didn't tell me any of that. You left me in the dark and I ended up all alone and hurting because of it."

Bella was right. And Alice was right. It really wasn't just one thing. It was technically one lie, but it was wrapped around a ton of other things. It had spiraled into a huge monster of a mess and until that very moment, I'd still been blind to it. I'd still thought the damage had been mostly contained. And here I'd thought Emmett was the hard-headed one in the family when it was really me the whole time.

"Look, I'm not trying to make you feel like shit, Edward. I'm really not. I'm just telling you how I feel and right now I'm really pissed at you. We're barely talking and already you're trying to leave me in the dark again."

I didn't want her in the dark. I wanted her to know every part of my heart, every part of my soul. I wanted to take her to visit my grandmother's grave. I wanted to tell her just how much my grandmother would have loved her. I wanted to tell her about my last conversation with my grandmother and that promise she'd forced me into. I wanted to share my entire life with Bella for the rest of my life. And I needed her to know that.

"I'm not trying to leave you in the dark," I said as I reached for her, needing to feel her in my arms. But she was pissed at me and knocked my hands away. I probably should have left her alone, but I couldn't—I needed that physical connection to her. "Just give me a moment to explain," I said as I looked right at her, wanting and needing her to see how hard I was trying to do this right.

Her sharp glare and seething tone weren't very encouraging, though. "You can explain just fine without touching me."

"No, I really can't. I'm sorry because I know this must sound selfish to you, but I need to feel you in my arms, Bella." Even though she looked ready to bite my hand off, I reached for her again, this time getting my arms around her.

She must have believed me because all she said was "Get to talking and it better be good."

I decided to start with telling her why I needed to hold her and then move on to her question. "The rational part of me knows you're not going to jump out of the car and run off, but it's tiny compared to the side of me that's terrified of losing you, Bella. When I was in Seattle, I missed you so badly that I begged my father to drive me down here to see you. And I mean that literally. I begged. I have never begged my father for anything.

"But he told me 'no'. He told me that it wouldn't do any good to see you if I made myself sicker doing it. He told me to have faith and patience. I still have so much faith but I'm losing the battle with patience and when I get scared I'm pushing you further away, I have none at all. So yes, I need to touch you. I need that proof that you're here with me, Bella."

She hadn't pulled away but she was also still just sitting in my arms and not hugging back. Her words weren't really that encouraging either. "Under different circumstances, I might have found that flattering. But right now, I'm waiting on your reason for not talking."

"It's not that I don't want to talk. Believe me I've wanted nothing more than to tell you what I've been thinking. But I know you, Bella. I know that if I say this and I'm wrong, it's going to hurt you. I can't do that. I can't add to your pain. I'd rather you be mad at me than for you to hurt more. Can you understand that at all?"

She was quiet for so long I started to worry she was debating on the best place to bite me. But when she spoke and there wasn't a trace of anger in her voice, I felt confident she understood where I was coming from, even if it was only enough to keep her from kicking my ass right here in the car. "Fine. But once we've talked to Dr. Bennett, you will tell me what you were thinking."

"I promise you." I hugged her as hard as I felt I could without hurting her before kissing her head and letting her go. I gave her what I hoped was an encouraging smile as I asked, "Ready to go in?"

"No, but we're doing it anyway," she said as she opened her door.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Bella's POV

"Bella."

I smirked at Dr. Bennett. "Man, I thought my dad was the only one who could scold me with just my name."

Dr. Bennett lost her stern expression and smiled at me. "It's good to see you again. I've been worried about you."

"Yeah, well … I'm sorry about that. There's been a lot going on lately," I said as I glanced at Edward. He was sitting in the corner pretending to read a Good Housekeeping magazine. After the way he'd practically begged me to let him come in here with me I knew he was listening to every word said.

"Bella, since it's been so long since you were here, and because you haven't had any meds, we need to do the full workup on you. Starting with a blood draw."

"Oh come on," I cried, folding my arms protectively. "You don't need to go all vamp on my innocent little veins. Just do that finger prick with the little square of evil."

Dr. Bennett and Edward both laughed at my comments before trying to compose themselves. They weren't having all that much luck … Edward now had the magazine held out in front of him blocking his face; it didn't hide his body shaking in the chair at all. Dr. Bennett was doing a little better; the only sign she was still laughing was the twitching of her lips as she stared hard at my chart in her hands.

"You're not fooling anyone over there, Cullen," I said, watching to see if he would come out of hiding.

He set the magazine on his lap, revealing the big smirk on his face. "Is this how you always behave with your doctor?"

I shrugged. "More or less. More if she seems open to my humor and less when she wants to torture me." I turned my head away from Edward to look at Dr. Bennett as I added, "Like by drawing my blood."

"I'm not the one who didn't come back as promised," Dr. Bennett replied.

I huffed as I uncrossed my arms and then rolled up the sleeve on my left arm. "Fine. I submit to your torture. But can you use a butterfly needle please? I've got a party this weekend and I don't want to have a black and blue arm for it."

"What kind of party?" Dr. Bennett asked, rubbing one of those cotton balls where she planned on poking me.

I closed my eyes before answering her—I didn't want to see that damn tube or the red fluid that would fill it. It was going to be bad enough just smelling it. "Esme and Carlisle are having a twenty-fifth wedding anniversary party back home in Forks on Friday night. Esme's really been looking forward to it. She bought a new dress and everything."

"Just a little pinch now," Dr. Bennett warned seconds before she stuck the needle in.

"Freak a duck," I hissed. "You know, that pinch is never as little as you guys promise. I already feel a bruise."

"Wow," Edward called out. "I've never seen you whiny before, Bella. This is an interesting side to you."

"Dr. Bennett, don't you want some of Edward's blood?" I asked.

"No thank you," she replied. I could clearly hear the laughter in her voice.

"Can you stick him with the needle anyway?" From the way she laughed at me, I took that as a 'no'. "And who the hell even said you could be in here anyway, Cullen?" I asked.

"You did." He sounded pretty damn smug about reminding me of what I'd said; payback would be a total bitch for him later on.

"And here I thought coming here with Alice bouncing up and down and looking ready to chew through her lip was bad," I mumbled to myself.

"All done. You can open your eyes now, Bella," Dr. Bennett announced.

Before I opened my eyes, I wanted to make sure the coast was really clear. "Did you put the tube out of sight? I already reached my puking quota for the day, Doc."

"It's hidden," she assured me.

I slowly opened my eyes just to be absolute sure and when I was positive the tube was gone, I opened them fully. I also had to listen to chuckles coming from over in the corner; I wasn't liking his new quick-to-tease side so much anymore.

"I'm going to step out to bring the blood to the lab," Dr. Bennett informed me. "While I'm gone, I want you to strip down and put the gown on. I need to do a full pelvic exam."

"Am I getting wanded too?"

"No. I'll be doing a regular ultrasound today. But first, I'm going to drop this off and then I'll have some questions for you when I get back."

"Alright, Doc. Away with you so I can lose my clothes and dignity."

She shook her head and laughed all the way out the door.

"You're quite the comedian today," Edward said as soon as the door closed.

I ignored his comment as I hopped off the table. "Close your eyes. You aren't dating me so you don't get a show."

He huffed but those green eyes of his slid closed so I let his noise-making pass without comment. "Do you always make a joke out of it?" he asked.

I only answered because he sounded like he really wanted to know and wasn't making fun. "Yeah. It helps me to keep a lid on the stress and the 'what-if' that tries to creep in and wreak havoc. Dr. Bennett is really great at going along with it. She doesn't have to do that for me, which makes me appreciate her all the more."

With my clothes folded and set on the counter and the hospital gown put on, I scooted up onto the exam table and pulled the sheet over my legs to keep them warm while I waited for Dr. Bennett to come back.

"Can I open my eyes now?" Edward asked.

"If you must," I replied, smiling so he would see right away that I was teasing.

"Well when I have something so gorgeous to look at, keeping my eyes closed just seems wrong."

"You are wasting good material, Cullen. Even if we were at a point where you had a shot at getting laid, no man gets laid the day before or of a gyno visit."

"That wasn't my intent at all. But just out of curiosity, why not?"

"The day before is out because the doc doesn't want your spunk messing up the tests. The day of is out because we've already been poked and prodded down there and it didn't come with a happy ending."

"You always could turn a phrase," he said with a snort. "And I don't poke or prod. I know exactly what I'm doing."

I was sure he'd meant for his words to come off sounding cocky but all they did for me was send me into a laughing fit that had tears streaking down my red face. Dr. Bennett didn't know what the hell to do with me when she came back to find me in that shape.

After a bout of hiccups and a few of those little paper cups of water, I was calm and ready to answer Dr. Bennett's questions.

"Alright, Bella. When was your last period?"

Instead of just answering that one question, I gave her all the information I felt she might need. "My last cycle was the week before Edward's graduation so sometime around May 12th. I had like a day of spotting the week after graduation when I was at the Grand Canyon but none since then. I've had some light cramping on and off but no bleeding. Apparently that diet thing really works on me. I never got off of it, not even to take back my caffeine. I haven't had sex since May so I can't tell you if it's painful or not. I'm not having any pains when I urinate. So while the baby-making female organs have dried up and died, the rest of me is pretty damn healthy. Now when are we having my surgery? I want to get all of this over and done with."

"Before we can talk about surgery, I need to be absolutely sure about what we're dealing with," Dr. Bennett told me. "Go ahead and lie back on the table and we'll get started."

As soon as I started to lie back, Edward got up from his chair and walked toward me. "What are you doing?" I asked.

He took my hand into his and leaned down so his face was just inches from mine. "Being here for you."

"You can be here from over there."

"Stop being so stubborn please. We both know you want me right where I am."

"I can't do this with you. I need to be able to make my jokes and be disconnected from it. You need to go sit down," I pleaded with him. He'd already been so freaked out in the car earlier and if he saw just how much this was really bothering me, he'd get all upset again and then I'd feel guilty. I couldn't deal with that right now.

"Hey," he called softly, getting me to look right into those green eyes of his. "I love you."

"What does that have to do with anything?"

He chuckled and said, "Everything."

"Edward—"

"Listen," he ordered, giving me the first really stern look I'd ever seen from him. "We're doing this together. You and me, all the way."

"But we haven't decided—"

He cut me off again, this time by squeezing my hand. "I already told you, I'm not going anywhere either way. I'm here for you, Bella."

I nodded while squeezing his hand as tight as I could and swallowing down the tears that wanted to come out. This whole thing wasn't quite as scary as losing him, but it was damn close. And as stupid as it was to admit, having him holding my hand did make me feel better.

He smiled and lowered his head further, kissing my cheek and whispering, "I'm here and I love you."

I nodded again and then looked over at Dr. Bennett. "Okay, Doc. Do your worst."

The actual physical exam part wasn't too bad. Other than some swelling and tenderness in my breasts, I seemed healthy enough from the outside. It should have made me feel better but it didn't. It just made me that much more convinced the ultrasound was going to find a big bad problem.

While Dr. Bennett was busy squirting the clear blue gel over my abdomen, Edward was running his thumb over the back of the hand he was still holding and using his free hand to brush my hair from my face. For the first time with him, I didn't feel like I was the strong one. I felt like I was just waiting for the right word from Dr. Bennett to break. And there was Edward, ready to catch the pieces and put me back together. But how would that even work if we weren't together?

A scarier question popped into my head as I looked up at Edward … Was his big push to talk to me just to get me here to the doctor? Had he felt obligated to befriend me again once he'd found out I wasn't taking the meds? Was this whole being at my side thing right now a way to make up for guilt he felt? Would he leave to start his career if she said everything was okay? Even worse … Would he stay only because I was sick?

"Alright, Bella," Dr. Bennett called out. She waited until I was looking at her and then she showed me the ultrasound wand. "We're going to take a look now. If I see anything, I'll point it out on the screen to you."

I nodded to show I was ready and found myself sucking in a breath and holding it while she lowered the wand down. Time to find out how damaged on the inside you really are, Bells.

My eyes stayed glued on Dr. Bennett as she slowly passed the wand back and forth across my abdomen. She spread that blue gel all across my skin before she finally took her eyes off the grainy screen and looked at me. I couldn't read her expression at all and I found myself clenching down on Edward's hand, waiting and pretending to be ready for the worst when all I really wanted was for her to say everything was just the way it had been in May and I could start the new meds with no problems.

"Bella, I'm going to point something out on the screen to you. I want you to pay attention closely," she instructed.

I nodded at her and then looked over at the small screen. It just looked like a bunch of swirly static to me and I waited with bated breath for her to explain what I was seeing.

"See this one pocket right here with what looks like a white ball inside?" she questioned, tapping her finger against the right side of the screen.

Again, all I could do was nod.

She slid the wand across my stomach and then tapped the left section of the screen. And this second pocket with two white balls?"

"Tumors, right?" I asked, my voice sounding shaky to my own ears. "That's why it all stopped? I grew tumors? Does that mean I have cancer now?"

I expected my doctor to tell me I was right and schedule a surgery for me. Instead, she smiled and turned a dial on the machine, filling the room with an odd thumping sound. "Those aren't tumors, Bella. Those are your babies. Three of them."

My head was suddenly swimming and my heart was ramming against my chest. "That's not right. That can't be right. Even you said one was almost impossible. How can you say there's three?"

Dr. Bennett was still holding the wand against me while that sound continued to pump into the room. "At that time, you had so much lining blocking the way that pregnancy was nearly impossible. I can't explain to you how the lining tore away without doing further harm, but it's happened. A clear pathway mixed with your over-stimulated ovulation … See how this one is by itself. This baby is one egg. And these two together are a second egg. Probably identical twins."

Dr. Bennett reached over and turned the sound off, instantly throwing the room into silence. Not that I would have heard much over the sound of my own heart pumping in my ears. I couldn't even think about looking at Edward yet so I just focused on what my doctor was doing.

She tore a piece of paper from the machine and handed it to me with a big smile. "Your first picture of your babies, Bella."

With shaking hands, I reached out and took the black and white image from her. It still didn't look like anything other than some blobs but if she said it was babies then that's what they were.

Edward's hand came into my line of sight as his hand curled around my wrist and touched the edge of the picture. "I'd thought for sure two but I'd never imagined three."

"What?" I cried, craning my neck to see his face.

His expression was serious as he looked down at me. "My reaction in the car earlier … I know how much you want to be a mom, Bella. I thought you were so hurt that you were thinking of ending the pregnancy. That's why I got so upset."

"How could … It's not even possible … I don't understand this at all," I admitted, brushing the back of my hand hard against my cheeks to get rid of the tears that had started falling.

"I thought at first like you did. That you were just putting on a little weight. But then you were sleeping and I could see the way your stomach was bulging and I knew that wasn't weight." He paused and I watched his neck muscles move as he swallowed down whatever emotion he didn't want to come out. "I was afraid at first that it was a tumor but it wasn't hard enough for that. And the more I thought about how you've been sick to your stomach and tired lately, the more pregnancy seemed a real possibility. I wanted us to find out as soon as possible but I had to get you to talk to me first."

It took me a few tries to get my questions out of my tight throat. "That's what all this has been about? Getting me to come to the doctor?"

Edward looked honestly shocked. "No. Not at all. Bella, I love you. Everything I've done is because I love you and I want to be with you."

"Bella, I know this is a lot to take in right now," Dr. Bennett interrupted. "This is without a doubt a miracle and a medical marvel. It's also a high risk pregnancy so you're going to need lots of checkups and ultrasounds to make sure everything is going as it should. But first, I think you should go home with Edward and just allow your mind to wrap around the knowledge that you're going to be parents. I want to see you again on Friday to discuss what you can expect and what you need to do to get these babies here safe and healthy."

There were other things said, and gel was cleaned off, and clothes were put on but I wasn't really there for any of that. I'd already checked out and gone inside my head, trying to understand how this was really happening. I felt … I felt miserable. And I felt pissed off that I was miserable because this was my dream. To be pregnant. To have my own baby. It was one of those wishes so deep it hurt to think about it not coming true.

But in all my dreams of a life with a baby, it was never this kind of life. It was never a single me looking at raising three babies alone. How could I even do that? How could I be even a barely passable mother if I had nothing to give? There was supposed to be a father and a house and real jobs and a safe place to lay them into their cribs at night. I had a small bedroom in an apartment in the city with only a part-time job for money. And from what I knew about pregnancy, there was no way I could keep that job. I couldn't be on my feet like that with one baby, much less three. I might not be able to keep them, to be a mother to them, but that wouldn't stop me from making sure they got here safely.

Somehow I made it into my bed and curled myself around a pillow, burying my face in it and getting a nose full of Edward. That was the last straw for my stressed out mind and the tear-dam burst, leaving me soaking the pillow as I sobbed hard into it. We weren't supposed to have been separated. He was supposed to find the perfect city to start his job. He was supposed to find a place for us—our first home together. He would work and I would finish school. We would be happy together. And after I'd graduated and worked a couple years, then we would have our baby. We would give it a home and a yard and maybe even a dog. We would have a real family, like the one he grew up in—the one I'd missed out on. That's what was supposed to happen.

But the reality was that we weren't together. We weren't moving into a home and I wasn't finished with school. And if Edward hadn't guessed I was pregnant and felt obligated to deal with it, he wouldn't be here in Portland right now. He'd be off starting his career in Seattle. Or maybe even in Boston. And my pillow wouldn't smell like him right now. What should have been my dream come true was a painful nightmare with no way to wake from it.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Edward's POV

Once again, I was failing Bella. I'd been so prepared for her to be happy and excited. I'd never thought for a second she would be so miserable that she would cry herself to sleep right in front of me. Each time I thought I understood how badly I'd hurt her, I learned that I had no clue of how deep her pain went. For her to be so unhappy about our babies … This had to be fixable. Someway, somehow.

I gently lifted her face from the pillow and shifted her head so that it rested on my shoulder. I held her close with both arms, hoping to somehow comfort the both of us. Her small hands unrolled from the tight fists they'd been in only to tighten up again once they'd gotten hold of my shirt.

As I looked down at her splotchy red cheeks, the guilt and sadness I felt were nearly overwhelming. Even worse was the knowledge that Bella was hurting so much worse than me. "I'm so sorry, Angel. I hope you know I'm here for you. I'm not going anywhere. I promised you I would never walk away again and I'm going to keep that promise."

Somewhere between trying to find the right words to bring her peace in her sleep and looking for a way to permanently help her, I drifted off. When I woke up, she wasn't in bed and her bathroom door was shut. I didn't hear the shower running so I knocked on the door and poked my head inside. "Bella?"

"Go away." She was lying in the tub, covered by bubbles with a washcloth hiding her face. But I didn't need to see her expression to know how she was feeling; I could tell just fine from the dejected tone she was using.

"Nope," I said as I slunk down on the floor, resting my back against the cabinet and my feet against the tub. "You made me promise I would always stay and fix things with you and that's exactly what I'm going to do."

"You're released from your promise. Now go away."

"You can't release me if I don't want to be released."

Her hand jerked up out of the water and yanked the towel from her face, showing me a pair of brown eyes narrowed in a glare. But no matter how thin that line of sight was, it did nothing to hide the pain swimming in those eyes. "You got what you wanted, I went to the doctor. You're obligation to me is over and done with, Cullen. So go and start your life and move the fuck on."

"My life is right here in this room, Bella. It's you and me together. And it's going to grow and include our babies."

"You always do that," she yelled, throwing the wet washcloth at me and hitting my knees. "You say something and you think that just makes it happen or makes it okay. But it doesn't! There is no together, Edward! There's a me and there's a you. And there are three lives that are going to be so much less than what they should be because you lied and ruined everything. So excuse me if I'm not all fuckin' rainbows and sunshine at the thought of being pregnant when I know I can't keep them."

"Hey," I said as I reached for her hand, missed, and ended up with my arm in the water. I snatched her hand before she could pull it away again and looked her right in the eyes. "Bella, you can and you will keep our babies. I will help you raise them, love them, parent them, feed and cloth them … Bella, I will be right here at your side every step. You don't have to be scared. You can be happy about this and enjoy it. You can be a mom."

Fat tears slipped down her pale face and hit the water with a plinking sound. "I didn't want to just be a mom. I wanted a family. I wanted someone who loved me and would always be there. Someone who would never walk away. Someone who would love our children and help me raise them to be good people, the kind who didn't make all the mistakes that I did."

"I'm that someone, Bella. I promise—"

"Shut up!" Her scream loud enough to echo off the tiles and cause me to wince. "Just shut up, Edward. Your promises are worthless."

Knowing I was going to be drenched and have to change and not caring one damn bit, I leaned over the edge of the tub and pulled her into my arms. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry I hurt you. I never meant to. I never meant to lie. I wish I could tell you exactly when and how it all got so out of hand. And I get why my words don't hold any weight for you right now. I do get that, Bella. But all I can do is go forward and prove to you every single day that I'm being honest. More than that! That I'm giving you the proper respect you deserve. I know I'm asking so much of you right now, but please give me a chance to show you. Let me prove myself to you."

"I don't want it. I don't want the let down when it all comes crashing down again."

"But it's not, Bella. I won't let it."

She pushed against me until I had no choice but to let her go so she wouldn't hurt herself. "Right," she snapped once she was looking at me. "Because you weren't the one who said again and again that you wouldn't risk our relationship, right, Edward? That wasn't you. That was the guy who lied about his heart and left me alone to get blamed for it. Oh wait! That was you! So get the fuck out of my bathroom."

"Bella, I know you're upset and angry, but we have to talk about this."

"No," she hissed. "We …" she said, waving her finger between the two of us, "… don't have to talk about a damn thing."

"We have a doctor's appointment Friday morning. Don't you think we should go into it knowing what we want?"

All that anger that had filled her face just seconds ago was replaced with such a deep sadness that I felt my own eyes grow wet. "If it was as easy as what we want, then I wouldn't be crying right now. I wouldn't be miserable and I could actually appreciate the miracle I've been given. But instead, I'm sitting here facing the hard truth … I can't keep these babies. The only way I can be a good mom to them, the kind of mom they deserve, is to find them a good home. But for right now, for tonight, I'm going to focus on the most pressing matters in my life and decide how to tell Mr. Morris that I'm quitting. Then I'm going to try and find a job I can do behind a desk."

"We can keep these babies, Bella. We can work something out. And if you and I can't come to an agreement, I know our parents will help us."

Bella roughly brushed at her cheeks, making them a deeper red. "Don't you dare breathe a word of this to your parents."

"We have to tell them. You're already starting to show."

"Eventually we have to tell them. There's no reason to talk about it right before their party and ruin everything. You want me to believe you can be honest and keep your word, then promise you will keep your damn mouth shut."

"Only if you agree we can tell them on Saturday. Not only is telling them the right thing to do, but I believe they'll be able to give us another perspective on all of this, and maybe even a solution you like."

"Fine. We tell them on Saturday. And just so you know, that 'we' includes my dad."

Despite the severity of the situation, I found myself smiling. "You're hoping he shoots me, aren't you?"

"The thought had crossed my mind. Now get out of my bathroom so I can finish my bath."

"Alright, Angel," I said as I leaned forward and pressed a kiss to her forehead. "I'm going to make you some dinner."

"Don't bother."

I got to my feet first and then looked down at her. "You're eating. End of story. The only thing you get to decide is if you give me a request for dinner or you get surprised."

She lifted her hand and waved her middle finger at me.

"Surprise it is," I said as I turned to leave the bathroom.

I was almost to the bedroom door when Bella's voice floated out to me. "Don't forget the tea, you pea-brained penis wrinkle!"

I smiled as I headed into the kitchen, firmly believing that I still had a chance with her. She wouldn't bother being angry with me if she had completely written me off; she also wouldn't have come up with such an imaginative term for me. We just had to get through the next few days on our own and then we could tell our parents and start getting the help we needed. This was fixable. I would have Bella and we would have our babies. I wouldn't leave her alone in this, even if she decided not to forgive me.


A/N: I know you all will have theories and ideas and comments about Edward and Bella's reaction to the pregnancy. Just try to be patient with me and them because in the next chapter, their very different reactions are going to make a whole lot more sense. And please keep in mind these two things: (1) Edward lied about his health. That is a huge thing! There is NO reason at all for Bella to believe anything he's saying right now. If he can lie about something that could end his life, he can lie about anything. (2) Bella is extremely hormonal and has been through hell. That does lend a person to jumping straight into seeing the world as all rainbows and sunshine. There is no automatic switch to flip to go from feeling like your world is spinning out of your control to being happy that something unexpected happened - especially when that unexpected event suddenly makes you responsible for other lives. Even the most happily married couple would have trouble not freaking out at being told they were now responsible for three new lives.

Thank you to MedusaInNY for the brilliant name Bella bestows on Edward at the end of this chapter. Gotta love how the three word game never really went away.

As always, thanks to EternallyAddicted for her invaluable help, guidance, and just plain putting up with me during these rough chapters. You are an amazing PIC and I am one lucky gal to have you onboard!