A/N Thanks to Leena7 who pointed out that my jumpy mouse erased the end of the sentence detailing that Carlos was seated aiming a gun at Gaetano in the last chapter. I went back and corrected the error, and you're an astute group, so I'm sure those of you who read the chapter shortly after it was posted were able to piece together from the rest of the scene that there was a gun involved. This will teach me to stop posting late at night LOL
Sorry also for the long delay in posting. Easter is usually my busiest time of year, so there probably won't be another chapter up until next week unless I miraculously find some time to write. Thanks for the patience of those of you still following the tale.
XXX CSI: NY XXX CSI:NY XXX CSI:NY XXX CSI: NY XXX CSI:NY XXX CSI:NY XXX CSI: NY
"We're here, Pop!" Don called as he walked through the front door of his parents' house with Katie's hand holding tightly onto his.
"And we wead stories?" Katie asked, looking up at her father hopefully.
He crouched down in front of her and unzipped her parka with a reassuring smile. "Yep, I packed all your favourite books. But I bet if you ask, Grampa will tell ya all sorts of stories." He managed to get one of Katie's arms out of her coat before his father started to descend the stairs.
"There she is!" Jump greeted with a broad grin, one reminiscent of his son's.
The little girl giggled excitedly. "G'ampa!"
"There's my favourite Katie! Do I get a hug?"
She tugged her other arm out of the sleeve of her coat and jumped into her grandfather's arms as he reached the landing, hugging him tightly.
Don Sr. picked her up and kissed her cheek.
"Thanks for takin' her, Pop. Jen's been really sick and Noli could really use the rest. I really appreciate this."
"Ah, no problem at all, son. Your mother and I have been looking forward to having Katie come stay with us. We're going to have lots of fun the next couple days, aren't we, cutie?"
Katie nodded excitedly.
Don Sr. set the little girl back down on the floor then looked at his son. "Can you come in and sit?"
"Yeah, I got a few minutes."
They got Katie settled on the floor with some of her toys, then Flack and his father sat down together on the couch.
"How's Noelle?" Jump asked after appraising his son with some concern.
"Mummy sad," Katie piped in, not even looking up from the puzzle she was working on.
Don furrowed his brow. "The kid's not even two and she's got more insight than me," he muttered.
"Donnie, give the girl some time. We're both trained officers and still find it difficult to stare down the barrel of a gun. Noelle's an innocent civilian who walked into her brother's office for a visit and found herself face-to-face with a gangster holding him at gunpoint. It's going to take some time to process."
"But she won't talk about it, Pop. Every time I ask how she's doing, she says 'fine' and changes the subject, but I know she's not fine. I mean, it's my first week back on rotation and I got stuck on afternoons, so I've barely seen her. But I know she's left the house every morning this week without eating anything. And she's been asleep every night by the time I get home, but she's gotten up at least the last two in the middle of the night to go and write." He took a breath. "And then there's this completely irrational part of me that's so pissed off at her for taking such a stupid chance. I mean, what if things had gone the other way?"
Don Sr. looked at his son sympathetically. "You can't think about the what if's or it will drive you crazy. And you can't be angry at Noelle for doing the same thing you woulda done or you're gonna have a rough road ahead. It's a two-way street, this marriage business, and trust me, my boy, you'll be making a lot more of those kind of decisions before you get your gold watch and take your pension."
Don leaned forward and rested his head in his hands for a moment. Finally, he glanced back over at his father. "What do I do? Do I call her out? Do I just sit back and wait?"
"When has a Flack ever sat back and waited for anything?"
Don chuckled softly at that in spite of the seriousness of the conversation.
"So, what about Caravaggio? Any leads on his whereabouts?"
"Nah, nothin' yet. Except the financials we got our hands on suggest there was a large withdrawal the day before Parezi was killed. My guess, he and his brother are lyin' on the beach in some non-extradition country right now. We've got a warrant out for his arrest so he's gotta know that if he shows his face around here, he's finished. But just to be safe, I convinced the Chief to keep the detail on Noli until we can get something more concrete. The last thing I want is for her to feel even more vulnerable than she already does."
"Do you remember when you were about ten or eleven, and your mother and I packed you kids all up and drove to D.C.?"
"Yeah, sure. We spent like four or five days there, checkin' out all the monuments and the museums."
"I'd just made detective the year before. One of the early cases I worked involved a professional hit, and we were pretty sure just which wiseguy was behind it but we didn't have enough evidence to make an arrest. One Saturday, your mother took Ellie and Laura shopping while I stayed home with you and William. When they got home, your ma was pale as a ghost. Laura had gone missing while they were in the department store. She was found pretty quickly, but when your mother was checking her over, she found a note in her pocket. Twenty years later, I still remember the black lettering that simply read, 'Next time, you might not get her back.' The next afternoon, I packed you all up and drove." Jump glanced over at his granddaughter, amusing herself with a puzzle on the floor. "But that was the first and only time I ran. Donnie, doin' what you do, there's always going to be a threat out there. And unfortunately, all you can do is try your best to protect your family. But even with forty years on the job, I still believe that justice prevails. You know, three days after we got back, Billy Mancini was arrested and charged with murder and he died four years later in prison. And I now have two sons- and daughters-in-law that I love like my own children and nine wonderful grandkids."
Don considered everything his father had just said. "Why didn't you ever tell me about this?"
"There's a time and place for everything, my boy. You'll learn that now that you have a family of your own."
He nodded. "Thanks, Pop. I know what I gotta do now. But right now, I gotta get to work. Thanks again for takin' care of Katie."
Don Sr. reached over and patted his son's cheek. "You know that your mother and I are here whenever you need us. You and Noelle. You give that girl our love, you hear?"
"I will, Pop." Don gave his father a hug, then got up and walked over to Katie. He knelt down beside his daughter. "You be a good girl for Gramma and Grampa? But if you wanna talk to me or your mommy, you just tell them and they'll call us on the phone, okay?"
"Ah, we'll be fine, won't we, Katie? We're gonna have lots of fun," Don Sr. assured his son with a wink for his granddaughter.
"We dwaw picsures?" the little girl requested.
"Oh, we're going to draw pictures and read stories and maybe even go outside and build a snowman…"
"Yay!"
Don kissed the top of her head, then stood, shaking his own head a little incredulously. "All right, I'll leave you to it. See ya on Saturday."
Hours later, Don walked in through the front door of the apartment with a heavy sigh. He was exhausted. Although afternoons were better than nights, three days in he had not yet made it home until close to midnight. As he glanced at his watch, he saw that it was just after. He had expected to walk into a darkened and quiet home as he had thus far this week. Instead, the floor lamp was glowing in the living room and he could hear the clicking of the keys on Noelle's laptop. He divested himself of his overcoat and shoes, then pulled off his suit jacket as he wandered down the hall into the living room. "Figured you woulda been in bed long ago," he commented, walking over and greeting her with a gentle kiss.
"Hey, baby. I couldn't sleep," she said simply. "Figured I'd follow my muse." She saved her work and set her computer on the coffee table as Don sat down next to her on the couch.
"Katie settled in at my folks?" he asked, pulling her legs up across his lap so he could move in a little closer.
"Yeah. I called about eight to say goodnight and she was too busy reading with your dad to even come to the phone," Noelle laughed.
"Yeah, Pop was so excited when I dropped her off. He's definitely got a soft spot for that kid." He leaned over and met her lips. As he pulled back, he tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear, his hand lingering by her cheek. "You even try going to sleep?"
She shook her head slowly.
"You ready to talk?"
"It's the middle of the night."
"Yeah, well, you seem to find an excuse no matter what time it is, so since you're up and I'm up, maybe now's the time."
She furrowed her brow and looked away.
"You've been trying to pretend that everything's fine, Noli, but it's not. You're as tough as they come, doll, but you're still human. You saw a gangster hold your brother at gun point, then you tackled the creep to the ground and discharged his gun in the process."
She shivered a little at the memory.
"I'd be worried if all of this didn't mess with your head, babe. And maybe I can't help you. Y'know, maybe it would help for you to talk to someone else and that's fine with me. But you can't keep goin' on as if nothing happened."
Noelle took a deep breath.
"No?"
"I keep seeing it. Every time I close my eyes, I'm back in Mark's office and Gaetano has his gun aimed at him. My head was racing the whole time. I kept thinking about you and Katie and how after everything I'd been through I finally had everything I'd ever dreamed of and I didn't want to lose it. And I thought about how much Mark loves Erin and Jen and – and what it would do to Mom and Dad if they lost either of us...And God, I didn't even know about the baby then! If anything had happened to Mark…" She crumbled and for the first time in the five days since it had happened, she cried.
Don gathered his wife in his arms. Although it hurt him to see her upset, he was relieved by the display of emotion. And for a long time, she just sobbed against his shoulder and he knew that all he could do was hold her. He also knew that one set of tears was not going to stop the nightmares or bring an end to the what if's that could not help but plague her thoughts.
"I didn't mean to shut you out," she finally said quietly, holding onto him.
"You just wanted it to go away. I know, babe. But trust me, it ain't that easy."
She pulled back then and looked at him. "How do you do this? I mean, how do you see the things you see and not let it get to you?"
"Some things you never get used to seeing. And some things you'll never understand. And I'll be honest with ya, I learned a long time ago how to get by with little sleep. But you know what helps? Havin' you to come home to and to hold when things are really dark. Getting hugs and kisses from our little girl. 'Cause Katie's all that's real and innocent in this world and she reminds me why I do what I do."
Noelle offered a small smile.
"I love you, doll. And I'll do whatever you need me to do to get you through this."
"I think you just did it."
"You wanna try and get some sleep?"
She nodded wearily.
"C'mon…" He stood up and pulled her up to her feet, then took her hand and led her down the hall to their bedroom. And for the first time in days, Noelle was actually asleep when her alarm went off in the morning.
