Chapter 45

Author's Note: Hey so I know that it has once again been awhile since I last posted. I'm sorry , I have been having trouble getting to a place where I feel right writing my stories. As of late I have been feeling like nothing I write is good enough, and I don't wanna post something sub par and disgrace these stories that have grown to mean so much to me. So I am really sorry it has taken so long . nI am doing my best to get to a better place where I feel comfortable posting more frequently again .

"So how is Kara doing with the side effects of being pregnant? " Alex asked Lena of hand as they strolled down the aisles of a nesting store.

"Uugh… she isn't a fan of the morning sickness. And her nesting instincts all kicked in the moment she hit one month. She forced me out of the closet this morning cause she was angry she didn't have enough pillows." Lena explained.

"haha really? " Alex smiled.

"You laugh, I was trying to get dressed! Every time I tried to get my clothes she would throw another pillow at me! And she is strong even if they are just pillows! " Lena countered.

Alex just continued laughing doubling over in the aisle, clutching to the shopping cart.

"Hardy har har. " Lena frowned. "It took me twenty minutes to talk her into letting me get dressed! " Lena complained.

"Oh god that's perfect! " Ales stood up straight wiping away tears.

"You ok? " Lena checked in, resting a hand on alex's shoulder.

" Yeah I'm fine… just don't make me picture Supergirl pegging you with pillows! " Alex smiled still chuckling.

"Yeah yeah. What else do we need for Kara? She wouldn't leave the closet with all of my clothes piled on top of her cause she needed to be surrounded by my scent. So we better get everything otherwise I might not get my clothes back. " Lena asked.

"Well we got a twin mattress, two comfy sofa cushions, twenty pillows… " Alex trailed off looking over everything they had in their carts. "Is your closet even big enough for all of this stuff? "

"Yes. Ohhhh! I almost forgot! We need blankets and plushies! " Lena noted.

"Yes, those are probably good ideas. " Alex agreed.

"Aren't you a pregnant omega too? Shouldn't you be better at picking out what she will need cause you are having the same urges? " Lena questioned.

"Mhmm Maggie got me a couple things to nest with when she proposed. And I claimed a corner of our bedroom, but I don't crave it that bad. I just might not be the nesting type. " Alex suggested.

"Is that a thing? Omegas that never wanna nest? " Lena replied surprised.

"I dono. " Alex shrugged.

"Hmmm" Lena hummed looking over a variety of extra soft blankets. "What do you think Kara will like most? "

"Hmm this one is pretty! " Alex picked out a sky blue blanket with pink roses on it.

" oh god it's really pretty! Yes this is the one I'm getting her! " Lena cheered picking out three of the same blanket for Kara.

"Yeah. I think she will really like all of this stuff. " Alex smiled hopefully to Lena.

"Yup. I hope so at least! " Lena cheered.

"Mhmm so what plushies do you think she will like? " Alex picked up an adorable little teddy bear and held it infront of her face wiggling its arms playfully. "I think she would like me! " Alex did a voice for the teddy bear.

"Ok you might not be nesting, but your pregnancy definitely has bad ass Alex in rare form. " Lena chuckled.

"You… have a point. But he is adorable!" Alex looked at the teddy bear and hugged it.

"Yes it is, and I'm getting one for Kara and one for you cause it's adorable. " Lena smiled.

"Aww you don't have to! "Alex cooed.

"I know, I want to, and you have clearly already fallen in love with it haha. " Lena smiled.

"Thanks. " Alex nodded in appreciation.

"So do we need anything else? " Lena asked quickly.

"Mhmm nope. I don't think so. I think we are good. " Alex answered.

"Good, let's go check out! "

"Will you two be needing help getting your purchases into your car? " the cashier asked as she finished bagging Alex and Lena's purchases.

"Nope we are good, thanks tho! " Lena thanked politely.

"Yeah we got it! " Alex added as they turned to head out.

"LENA LUTHOR! " A stranger with two buckets in his hands yelled standing in front of them, blocking the exit.

"Umm yes? What is it? " Lena looked the stranger up and down trying to figure out what she wanted.

"When you sent your robot to break your bitch of a mother out of jail he collapsed half the building, killing all of the prisoners in block C! My baby brother was in block c! A month from getting out! " The woman screamed getting angrier and angrier as she went, throwing one of the bucket's contents onto Lena, splashing it all over their purchases, completely ruining them.

"Uugh! What the hell is this! " Lena cried in disgust!

"Payback you cunt! You killed my baby brother! " she threw the second bucket's contents on Lena.

"Fucker! " Alex yelled jumping over the carts pushing the woman to the floor and cuffing her.

"eww! Alex what is this!" Lena questioned looking at the thick red liquid that coated her and all the nesting supplies she had just bought Kara.

"Its pig's blood for the pig who killed my brother! "

"You know the irony of this is that Lena helped take her mother and her brother down. Ya know that, and that you are now going to jail for assault. " Alex growled picking the woman up by her handcuffs.

"Still didn't get anywhere near what she deserved, discussing luthor! " The woman screamed fighting Alex.

"Yeah yeah shut up! " Alex groaned seeing the store's security officer appear.

"Thanks for cuffing him for me. " the large security officer thanked.

"You got her from here? " Alex asked.

"Yeah." the security guard nodded walking the woman away.

"Lena! Are you ok? " Alex asked jumping to her side.

"I…. I… " Lena was lost in the thick deep red blood that covered her body. Lena began shaking violently as she couldn't stop her mind from flashing back to all the worse of her self harm, each and every time she thought she would die from blood loss, when all she could see was her blood covering her… Lena remembered stumbling into the hospital drunk, a gash inches deep in her hip, collapsing in a pool of her own blood as she wasn't even sure she really wanted to be saved.

"Lena! " Alex screamed.

"S… So… so much blood… " Lena stammered unable to pull herself together "i… I'm gonna die… "

"Lena! It's not your blood, you are gonna be fine. " Alex assured grabbing Lena's hands trying to calm her.

"I… I… I… " Lena stammered.

"Lena I'm gonna take you back to my place it's just around the corner, Maggie and I can clean you up. Do you want me to call Kara?" Alex suggested.

"No! No! Kara can't know! " Lena yelled reflexively not wanting Kara to be worried for her.

"O.. Ok. Come on Lena, let's get you cleaned up. " Alex urgent taking Lena and what of the the nesting supplies hadn't been ruined to her car.

"Do you think she is gonna be ok?" Alex paced back and forth in her apartment in front of Maggie resting on the couch.

"Yup. She will be fine. " Maggie replied flipping the page in her book.

"she is taking so long! "

"She was covered in pigs blood. " Maggie countered.

"D.. Do you think your old clothes will fit her? " Alex needed to do something to help Lena.

"Yes, they will be fine. Calm down! " Maggie dismissed.

"How can you be so calm?! " Alex all but yelled.

"Because i know what she is going through. And I know she just needs to get past this trigger. " Maggie answered.

"Y… you what? "

"I know what she is going through. "

"Whats she going through? " Alex questioned.

"She got triggered by all the blood." Maggie didn't even look up from her book.

"Triggered? "

"yeah. Haven't you seen her wrists? She tries to cover it. But. On the right day I can tell. "

"Maggie what are you talking about? "

"She self harms. Alot. Or at least she yusto. " Maggie explained.

"A… And that's why…. She didn't want Kara to know? She thought Kara would be worried about her? " Alex pieced it together.

"Yeah probably. "

"How do you know so much about this? " Alex asked.

That was finally enough to get Maggie to lift her head from her book. "Umm grew up gay in a conservative town, got kicked out by my parents… sometimes that was the only thing I could do to feel ok. " Maggie admitted.

"I… but you… "

"I have a darker skin tone than Lena so it's easier for me to cover up mine. Also mine aren't as bad or as common. " Maggie cut Alex off.

"You go through the effort to hide that from me everyday? " Alex asked shocked and slightly hurt.

"No" Maggie put down her book and got up from the couch to hug Alex. "I go through the effort to hide it from the whole world everyday. You simply happen to be part of the world. "

"Are you ok? " Alex hugged Maggie tight.

"Yup it's been a decade since I did it. I'm perfectly healthy. I just prefer to keep my past in my past. " Maggie explained.

"ok. I'm glad you are ok. I love you. " Alex relaxed into the hug.

"i love you too and Lena will be ok too. I will talk to her once she gets out of the shower, ok? " Maggie assured.

"Thanks babe. I… I'm sorry you had to go Through that. " Alex hugged tighter to Maggie.

"Like I said its old news. But I appreciate your support. " Maggie could hear the shower turn off. " and Lena probably needs a friend who understands being triggered. So I'm gonna go bring her the clothes. " Maggie hugged back before grabbing the clothes and heading off to the bathroom.

"Love you, good luck. " Alex called out to Maggie as she headed off.

Maggie knocked twice at the door before speaking. "Hey Lena? "

"Uugh. Umm yeah" Lena sighed realizing her cloths were thoroughly ruined.

"I have some clothes for you! " Maggie notified.

"Oh thank god! " Lena sighed wrapping herself in a towel and cracking the door to retrieve the clothes. "Thanks. "

"You ok? " Maggie asked while waiting just outside the bathroom as Lena changed.

"I… I uugh. " Lena stalled as she changed.

"Hey….. " Maggie began in a hushed voice. "I.. I understand. I. I know what you are going through. "

"W.. What do you mean Maggie? " Lena opened the door suddenly fully clothed as she realized all of her makeup had come off in the warm shower and all of her scars shan bright red and angry at the heat of the water.

"That. " Maggie gestured with her eyes.

"F… fuck. "

"Hey. It's OK. I understand. I struggled with it when I was younger. " Maggie comforted sincerely.

"I.. This isn't just like some looking for attention bullshit! " Lena defended instinctively after a lifetime of being accused of cutting for attention.

"Well no shit it isn't. What do you spend on makeup a month to keep that as we hidden as you normally do? 100 bucks? " Maggie scoffed.

"O… one fifty… " Lena looked away ashamed.

"Kara know? "

"Yeah. She is trying to help me quit. " Lena answered.

"Ahhh that's why you are still so shaky, your craving it aren't you? "

"Really bad. " Lena admitted pained.

"How long's it been? "

"Uugh, at least a month? " Lena sighed.

"Hey! Congrats! That's always been a hard one for me. " Maggie cheered.

"Mhmm thanks…" Lena shrugged somber.

"Hey come on! You can get through this. And in the meantime here's a trick I picked up when I was trying to quit! " Maggie replied grabbing a red nail polish from her counter, opening it, and painting a clear straight red line on Lena's wrist.

Lena gave a soothed sigh of relief.

"Pro tip, throw one in the fridge, and the cold helps even more. I don't have one cold already cause I haven't needed to use this trick in a couple years, but for when you are quitting it can really help. " Maggie smiled kindly.

"Thanks." Lena smiled back appreciative of Maggie's caring.

"No problem , you know Alex, Kara and I will always be there for you . We are family now . Anytime you need anything you can come to any of us , we will be here for you." Maggie hugged Lena supportively.

"T- that means a lot Maggie. Thank you so much." Lena hugged Maggie back.

"We got ya hun. Anything else I can do to help you out for now?"

"N-no I think i'm good." Lena nodded softly.

End of Chapter 45

From: Guest

:Great update. Please don't take to long to update

From Jessica: I promise I will do my best . honestly im kinda done with apologies , i apologized profusely in the last chapter. But maintaining my mental health is my first priority , then my girlfriend, then my stories. And i'm not going to change that , also there just isn't anything I can do about writer's block.

From: giovanna (Guest)

giovanna:Hello, I would like to translate your story into Spanish. This is my email , respond when you read the comment

From Jessica: hey so I didn't actually get your email in this comment!

I would love to talk about having the story translated into any language by anyone willing to do so!

My email is dmiller farragut2. org

Or aurichimanteson gmail

Btw if you want ff not to censor your email you have to break it up like that ^^^

So I'm really sorry I couldn't just email you back! But I hope you see this, and that we can talk about it!