May 2001-May 2002
They lay side by side, drinking from coconuts. He drank a Red Bull, she drank a Pina Colada and they were relaxing on that tropical honeymoon that Chandler had planned, surprising her with a trip to Turks and Caicos. It was absolutely stunning with the sandy white beaches, crystal clear blue waters and worlds away from the drama that awaited them in New York City. Rachel was indeed pregnant. It had been her pregnancy test in the trash and Ross was apparently the father.
"Although...I do get annoyed," Monica said as they discussed this newest piece of information and the truth was, it angered her. It upset her that every single time she had something that she wanted to celebrate, a moment of hers, it was taken over by Ross and Rachel drama. When Monica and Chandler spent their first anniversary in Vegas, Ross and Rachel got married. When Monica and Chandler got engaged, that night just a few hours later, Ross and Rachel got caught kissing in the hallway and now their wedding would always be tainted with the memory that Rachel was pregnant. It really was starting to piss her off especially when they would jump all over Chandler when he acted selfish...in a way, what Ross and Rachel were doing felt worse. They didn't have an addiction problem to explain their actions.
"About what?"
"About how much time they take up. I mean, we all got mad at you because you were being selfish but Ross and Rachel are really being selfish and they don't have the luxury of saying they have an addiction. Don't say anything but...I mean-"
"I get it. But here it can be about the two of us. You enjoying your pina colada?" Chandler asked.
"Yes, you enjoying your Red Bull?" Monica asked.
"Yes and it was nice of them to put it in a coconut," Chandler asked.
"You're becoming addicted to Red Bull."
"Monica."
"Chandler. You are. You drink like ten of them a day."
"Monica, I have given up drinking, pills...of any kind...and smoking, partially...leave me alone."
"Fine. I'm just saying, you don't need more energy."
"We're still the better couple," Chandler grinned. Monica laughed, he was comparing them to Ross and Rachel and it was of course thrilling to her that they were indeed a better couple. Sure, Chandler had addiction issues and Monica could be competitive but they still had Ross and Rachel beat.
"Oh, yeah," Monica said. "You know they have tennis courts at the hotel. We should play."
"No."
"Why not?"
"I don't wanna be a widower," Chandler grinned. Monica's mouth dropped.
"It'll be fun."
"No it won't."
"I won't throw the racquet at you this time."
"The fact that you had to end that sentence with...'this time'...no."
"Chandler."
"No because you've never been able to beat me and that makes you mad and then you throw things at me and Mon, love isn't supposed to hurt," Chandler remarked.
"What if you let me win?" Monica asked. While her husband struggled with certain things, his abilities on a tennis court were not amongst them. She had watched him play and played against him many times and he was amazingly good and amazingly unwilling to let Monica win.
"Not a chance in hell," Chandler said.
Monica laughed as she continued to sip her Pina Colada and dug her toes into the sand, soaking up the sun. It was absolutely gorgeous and she loved laying there besides him.
"So do you think Ross and Rachel are going to get married again or what?" Monica asked.
"I don't wanna talk about 'em," Chandler said, looking at her.
"It upsets you too?" Monica asked.
"Well...it is annoying that they seem to take over but what can you do? Although, it makes me feel even better about the fact that we hid our relationship. It makes it ours. Any issue we have is going to concern us, not the rest of them."
"Yeah. I just-"
"Hey….we're gonna have to deal with it at home and their drama has already impacted our first anniversary, the night we got engaged and our wedding….I don't want it impacting our honeymoon. So...let's make a pact, for our honeymoon we are not allowed to discuss anything related to drama going on at home. We need to relax."
"I don't know how to do that," Monica said.
"That's why it's good you married me. Okay, stretch your legs, let out a groan, sip your drink….look out at the ocean. How amazing is that? How clear that water looks? You don't get that at home. Look at where we are? The trees….that hut over there. What in the world could you possibly have to worry about?"
Monica looked at him as he stretched out in the sand and took a sip of his Red Bull. He placed his headphones on and grabbed a book and within moments checked out. Monica let out a sigh, maybe she'd try it, she should. She stretched out, put on her headphones and grabbed her book and began to read. Soon enough, she did feel surprisingly relaxed. She felt so far removed from New York that she did not care. The pregnancy would be dealt with but it did not have to be dealt with by her.
The honeymoon had been unbelievable. They went kayaking, went jet skiing, had many romantic meals where they spent it trying to make each other laugh. She loved how Chandler was super careful now about his sobriety, asking questions and making sure he kept himself on the wagon. It truly amazed her how hard he was working. She also loved playing with him.
"Let's pretend we're British," Chandler said over dinner one night.
"Why?" Monica asked.
"'Cause it would be fun...seriously fun and awesome. When Pheebs and I spent the Fourth of July together...back when she first moved in... we did stuff like that," Chandler said.
"But we're old."
"No, we're not," Chandler said as the waiter walked towards them and asked if they wanted anything else. Chandler took a deep breath and began to use a British accent, "yes, may I please have a spot of tea and a crumpet."
The waiter just stared at Chandler as if he had grown an extra head which made Monica laugh. His accent was just not good.
"What he means is can he have coffee and the dessert menu?" Monica asked as the waiter nodded and walked off. Chandler looked at her, giving her a slightly wounded look.
"Why would you do something like that?" Chandler asked.
"'Cause he didn't believe you."
"You don't know."
"I know."
It was just simple, amazing fun. It was fantastic telling people they were on their honeymoon, amazing being part of a team and they never seemed to run out of things to talk to each other about which seemed incredible given the fact that they had known each other for fourteen years but they never seemed to run out of topics.
When they arrived home, it was almost a bit of a let down. They had enjoyed being away and when the walked back into their real life, it was back to concentrating on the drama of Rachel being pregnant and Joey developing a crush on Rachel that seemed to come out of nowhere and Ross being Ross and then there was Phoebe. Monica wasn't sure what had happened but it made her sad. Chandler and Phoebe had been so tight, so close when Phoebe had first moved in. They went out every single night, partying until the sun came up, they even spent an entire weekend away, just the two of them. They were glued to the hip, so much so that Monica had felt so jealous and upset. Now, it was as if Phoebe hated Chandler. Phoebe would make little digs at Chandler, sometimes right in ear shot of them. As 2001 turned to 2002, the digs got worse and right around the end of February in 2002, Phoebe had introduced Monica to a guy named Don, whom she thought was Monica's soulmate. She had done with Chandler knowing exactly what was going on and then Monica had to spend an hour calming Chandler down and convincing him that she would not leave him and go live in a house made of cheese. It crossed the line and Chandler was also noticing.
"She really hates me," Chandler moaned over dinner with Monica. It was now March, 2002 and Chandler had taken Monica to a sushi restaurant to celebrate her thirty second birthday. Yes, there would be a group celebration later on but this was something the two of them had decided on their honeymoon, a pact that they would keep and in the ten months they had been married, they had never broken it. Once a week, they would go on a date, just the two of them. No other member of the group allowed, it was a husband and wife date night.
"Phoebe does not hate you."
"She introduced you to a guy that she thought would be better suited for you. I mean-"
"She was wrong to do that. Phoebe does not hate you, Chandler."
"Why is she so mean to me?"
"I don't know."
"We used to be really close, Phoebe and I. We had a lot of fun when she first moved in."
"Yeah, I thought you two were hooking up."
"We never hooked up...we kissed a couple times. I taught her beer pong. She could drink me under the table. I taught her to drive...and I thought she wanted you and I to be together."
"Well...you have to talk to her. I'll talk to her," Monica said.
"I guess...although, I am looking forward to your birthday dinner with the rest of them. Joey still feels awkward around Rachel...Phoebe hates me..."
"It'll be the best birthday dinner ever," Monica grinned, "I can't believe Joey actually developed a crush on Rachel. Like that would have ended well. Weird. Although, Ross, Joey...you've never had a crush on Rachel, have you?"
"Nope...although...I mean, she is hot...not as hot as you. You're my type."
"Thank you. Hey, Chandler, can I ask you something?"
"What?"
Ever since they had gotten back from their honeymoon, she had this itch. This feeling that was starting to develop in her. While she of course loved Phoebe, Rachel, Joey and Ross, while she loved being surrounded by them constantly, she missed her honeymoon or more specifically, she loved just being with Chandler. She felt like they were an adult couple, married and at a different level than the others who were still single. She loved their weekly dates and she was beginning to feel like she was outgrowing that world that she had so loved for so long.
"I was thinking...I know this sounds strange but would you ever consider moving out of the city? To the suburbs?"
"When?" Chandler asked.
"Maybe when we have kids? Not for awhile, but maybe? I don't know...you and I both grew up outside the city and..."
"Maybe...hadn't really thought of it," Chandler said.
"Just a thought."
She knew Chandler had been most excited about the marriage part, of spending the rest of his life completely committed to her but she wondered about the next step. Maybe moving into a house?
"Hmmm...well, happy birthday to my lovely wife," Chandler said.
"Thank you and hey, how many months has it been now?" Monica asked, realizing something else.
"Well...if you don't count the one beer I had before the wedding-"
"I won't."
"Then it's been thirteen months. I've been sober thirteen months."
"Congratulations and I'll talk to Phoebe."
She felt bad for Chandler but part of her was just starting to get annoyed. Not with him but with everything else, with listening to Rachel complain about being pregnant and listening Phoebe be mean to Chandler. She was getting tired.
Maybe that was why she found herself walking sitting in a cafe in Westchester with Ellie. Ellie and her husband, Andy, had recently bought a home in Westchester. They sat together, sipping red wine. It felt so grown up.
"You and Chandler should move here," Ellie stressed.
"Hmmm, I don't know. It's so nice here though. It's just...to leave the city, that'll be rough. I mean, I've been living in the city for fourteen years and I just...it would be so difficult and to say goodbye to those guys and my apartment. I love that apartment. I've had so many moments and memories there. I remember moving in and…"
"You'll have better memories and you're not far from the city."
"I wonder what we'd do with Joey," Monica mused.
"You can make other friends. Actually...remember Grayson, he lives next door to me and Andy. He owns a bar. I could see him and Chandler being friends."
"I don't want Chandler hanging out in bars," Monica said.
"I would love to live near you. We could have a lot of fun. I will show you the town. You'll see and it's a great place to raise kids and wouldn't it be nice to live somewhere where people are not walking in and out of your home all day….with no regards for your privacy."
"I love when they do that….or maybe I did...before...it would be nice to be like a married couple and live in a house and have our own lives but I would so miss them. I don't know."
But she knew, as they finished their wine and Ellie took her on a tour of Westchester, Monica knew. She wanted to live here. She wanted to be in suburbs, raise a family. She wanted to drink wine with Ellie. When she got back to the city, she felt a bit like she had just cheated on her apartment, on her city life but she missed it. She missed Westchester.
Her thoughts of Westchester were momentarily pushed out of her mind when Rachel had her baby that May of 2002 in what had quite possibly been the longest pregnancy in the history of the world. It really felt like she had been pregnant for an entire year, it was strange but finally Rachel was in labor and Monica, Phoebe, Joey and Chandler sat waiting for her, bored.
"I'm getting a soda," Joey said, finally.
"Me too. You want anything, Mon? A Baby Ruth?" Chandler asked, grinning. Monica let out a snort. She had wanted to play with Chandler. She was bored so she told Chandler that she was ready to have children and Chandler had responded with, "okay" which freaked her out. She thought she would have to drag him kicking and screaming into fatherhood. She had fully expected that her saying that a year into their marriage would cause him racing down the hall in full hysteria mode but instead he said he was ready as well and she wasn't sure how to respond to that.
"Get away from me," Monica joked.
"Dude, I'm bored. I'll race you to the vending machines," Joey said.
"Joe, you're thirty four...that is so-" Chandler began before taking off running towards the vending machines. Joey's mouth dropped.
"Your husband's a dead man," Joey said as he ran off after Chandler. Monica let out a laugh. Phoebe turned back to read her magazine and Monica looked at Phoebe. She hadn't really talked to Phoebe about what had happened with Chandler but they had some time and maybe now was as good of a time as any.
"Pheebs...why do you hate my husband?"
"What?" Phoebe asked. She looked up from the magazine article she was reading and looked at Monica, confused.
"You and Chandler. Why do you hate him?"
"I apologized for the soulmate thing. It was stupid. Let's move on."
Monica could tell Phoebe was in no mood to discuss Chandler but Monica really was in no mood to drop it.
"I know...it's just...you two used to be really close. So close that I thought you guys were dating when you first moved in. He still won't tell me if you dropped that plate of spaghetti on my couch on purpose or by accident."
"It was an accident," Phoebe grinned.
"Sure it was," Monica said, although she would never believe that.
"Alright, Mon...let me ask you...do you forgive him?" Phoebe asked, closing her magazine.
"For what?" Monica asked.
"For running out the day of your wedding? We spent three months helping him through drug withdrawals...for the second time-"
"It was the third time for Ross and I," Monica said.
"Yeah...you forgive him?" Phoebe asked.
"Yes," Monica responded, matter-of-factly.
"You were planning a wedding at the same time your fiancee was recovering from a serious addiction and then he vanishes the day of the wedding. You still forgive him?" Phoebe asked.
"Yep."
"How?" Phoebe asked.
"Because I know him. I mean, yes...I was really hurt when I found out he did that and how I found out was humiliating. I'm standing there at the altar and then Joey makes some flippant comment about Chandler running off...it was awful, but...I don't think I can do better than him. Yeah, that Don guy was fantastic. You're right, he was the male version of me... but I like that Chandler isn't like me. I love that. I love that he can calm me down and that he knows exactly what to say or do. I love that we both work so hard to make this marriage work and it's working. Really well," Monica said.
"But-"
"Yes, he ran off. But I look at it like he was so afraid of our marriage failing that it freaked him out. He didn't run because he was afraid of commitment. He didn't run off because he didn't wanna marry me. This wasn't like Barry and Rachel. He ran off because losing me would be too much for him and in a sick, twisted way...it's kinda sweet."
"Really?"
"Yeah. He'd rather be in control of losing me and deal with the fallout from that rather than me just one day decide to leave him and then him having to figure it out. Is it messed up...G-d, yes. But I get it and I understand him and don't worry...when we got back to the honeymoon suite, we fought about him running out. We did. We fought...and then you know, I gave him a little spanking and we had a lovely time," Monica said, smiling.
Okay, part of that was true. They didn't really fight about it, they had been too worn out to fight. But the rest….yeah, that was true.
"Ooooo, Mon. Kinky."
"He deserved it."
"Didn't know you two had it in you."
"Pheebs, he's the son of drag queen and an erotic novelist. He may not be exactly like his parents but he can be wild. He's my husband and you're my best friend and it kills me to see your friendship just deteriorate and I know it kills him. After that whole Don thing, he even asked me why you hated him that much."
"He did?" Phoebe asked.
"He really thinks you hate him, Pheebs. He thinks the reason you introduced me to Don was because you actually wanted me to fall in love with Don and divorce him. I mean, he's not gonna come right out and tell you...but yeah, he is convinced you hate him."
Monica had a feeling she had gotten to Phoebe and she truly hoped she had. She was getting tired of all the drama, they were all in their thirties and the dramas of their twenties just felt boring especially because now that she and Chandler were married and Ross and Rachel were having a child. Of course, maybe she spoke too soon as Chandler and Joey headed back towards them tossing a baby doll back and forth.
"Seriously?" Monica asked.
"What? Does this freak you out?" Chandler asked before he turned back to look at Joey. "Joe, go long."
"Yeah, baby," Joey said backing up as Chandler tossed the doll towards him. Joey jumped up to catch it but lost his footing on the way down and ended up falling backwards into a nurse who looked pissed off.
"This is why we don't play in the halls," Chandler said, walking towards Joey to help him.
"Boys, sit," Monica said.
Chandler and Joey sheepishly walked back to their seats and sat down, still throwing the doll which both he and Joey felt should be named Uma Mybalzich back and forth, tossing it faster and faster and pretending to get mad at each other as they threw it harder and harder. Monica just rolled her eyes and continued looking at her magazine.
"I'm gonna get coffee. Chandler, you wanna come with me?" Phoebe asked.
"No, I'm okay. But thanks," Chandler said as he looked at Phoebe but just as he looked away, Joey tossed the doll at his head. "Dude...gentle. Right, Mon."
"Yes," Monica said, looking over at Phoebe who was giving her a look. Monica knew Chandler didn't want to hang out with Phoebe alone.
"Chandler, honey, I'd like coffee. Can you get me some?" Monica asked.
"Sure, babe...Joe, you wanna come with me and get coffee?" Chandler asked.
"Chandler, I would like to talk to you. Alone. Without Joey or Monica. Can we talk?"
"I...I don't really wanna talk to you...or talk...I don't...I just..." Chandler said.
"Wow, this more awkward than the time I professed my love to Rachel." Joey said.
"You know what...Joey, let's you and I get coffee and leave these two alone," Monica asked, feeling awkward as well. Maybe they needed to leave.
"Alright," Joey said getting up. Monica and Joey walked off to leave them alone. They found a place to get coffee and sat at a nearby table. Monica kept thinking about what Phoebe had said about forgiveness, about finding it hard to forgive Chandler.
"Joe, do you forgive Chandler?"
"What did he do now?" Joey asked.
"Well, when he ran out on the wedding-"
"It wasn't my wedding."
"Even after helping him through withdrawals and all that other stuff?" Monica asked.
"Why wouldn't I forgive him? It wasn't my wedding, why would I be mad?"
Monica let that sink in for a moment. She did like how Joey's mind worked at times.
"Phoebe doesn't."
"Makes sense...I do though, yeah, it was stupid but...at the end of the day, he's a good guy and he's my brother. It's family and now you're family."
"That's sweet."
They continued drinking their coffee and talking before deciding to head back to Phoebe and Chandler. Once there, Chandler and Monica decided to walk around the hospital. It dawned on her that it was their one year anniversary. She and Chandler had officially made it one year.
"So when you pictured our one year anniversary..." Monica mused.
"I know. So Pheebs and I talked?"
"And?"
"I don't...I mean, I don't know if it will ever be how it was. It's just...I've apologized a lot in the last year..actually longer...last year and three months...and I don't feel like doing it anymore. I'm sorry I walked out before the wedding. I'm sorry for all of it but I'm working hard and-"
"I know."
"Do you forgive me?"
"Of course...and you really wanna have kids?"
"Yeah," Chandler said, smiling.
"When did this happen?"
"This woman brought her daughter, Amy, to work and she was so tiny and cute and...she...and I wanted one. I really...I really wanted one. Something has happened over the past twelve months."
"You've become a grown up."
"I know."
"I can't believe you wanna be a dad. I mean, you were the one who was so steadfast about not wanting kids and you actually want kids."
"I've turned. I mean, I don't know what kind of dad I'll be. I'll learn how to be a good dad but I know you'll be an amazing mom and I've spent this whole past year trying not to be selfish and I'm ready to take care of another person. I mean, it would be kinda cool. I can take them to the zoo. I can...show them all the movies, I would totally take them to Disneyland. I'll teach them to cover Rachel's car with peanut butter. I wanna be a dad. I wanna have kids with you. I never thought I'd ever say that. I mean, I was gonna have kids because you wanted them and I wanted to make you happy...but I wanna have a kid and I wanna screw them up in our own individual ways."
Monica's eyes filled with tears as she walked towards him. She kissed him as the two continued to stare at each other. This was it, there was no turning back.
"I can't believe you wanna have kids. Chandler, I think you'll be an amazing dad."
"G-d, I hope so."
"We're gonna be a family."
"Yeah...and remember when you asked if I would ever move out of the city to raise kids. I think I would. I mean, yeah, my childhood was strange but we had a huge backyard and when I had enough of watching movies, I'd just run around and play...it was fun. But I want more than one kid though..."
"More than one?"
"Yeah...I always wanted a brother or sister. I was kinda sad it never happened."
"Okay...wow...I never thought...Happy Anniversary, baby."
"Happy Anniversary," Chandler said as they shared another kiss. The other four could continue with their drama, Monica and Chandler would continue to move forward in their relationship. They would become a family.
When Emma Geller-Green was finally brought into the world, Monica couldn't wait. She was officially an aunt for the second time. When Rachel finally had her baby, she was exhausted and thrilled to no longer be pregnant. Monica couldn't wait to hold Emma, breath her in. She felt herself starting to tear up. She wanted one so badly and now she might possibly get one. The image of Chandler holding Emma in his arms almost broke her but in a good way, it was so perfect, beautiful as Monica watched Chandler stare down at this tiny little person who was the perfect mixture of both Ross and Rachel.
"Hey, little Emma. I'm your Uncle Chandler. I will be the best uncle ever. I swear...when your parents and aunt Monica drive you nuts, you find me, kid."
"Oh, G-d...our child is gonna cover our cars with peanut butter," Rachel grinned.
"No, no...I'll start her off small. Little pranks. Like whoopie cushions and stuff. The big pranks will come later," Chandler said, shaking his head.
"She'll be lucky," Rachel said.
"You're gonna be a great uncle," Phoebe said.
"And a fantastic father," Monica said.
"Really?" Rachel asked, looking from Monica to Chandler.
"Seriously?" Ross asked.
"Yeah...Mon and I are gonna start trying," Chandler said, "we're gonna give you a cousin, Emma...she's beautiful, Rach. Oh and Emma, we going to have to start watching movies...soon. No niece of mine is going to grow up without knowing Charlie Chaplin or Buster Keaton."
"Monica's right. You're gonna be an amazing father, Chandler," Rachel said.
"Thanks. Wow, she's gorgeous. Thank G-d, she only takes after Rachel," Chandler grinned as he gently handed Emma back to Rachel. He quickly wiped the tears away from his face as Phoebe gently patted him on the back. He looked at Monica standing across from him. She was beaming at him.
That night, while Chandler played video games in Joey's apartment, Monica lay on her bed looking through the book of Baby Names. She began to go through it, adding Bing to them and writing down the ones she loved the best. This was the ultimate dream, the one she had dreamt about since before she could even remember. She was destined to be a mother and that made Westchester seem like more of a priority. She wanted to raise a child in suburbia and now she would finally get that chance. She was going to feel what that was like, she was going to a mom.
