Disclaimer: I only own my OCs. the rest belong to either Tolkien or Bethesda

A/N: Hi guys :) How have you all been? I have to say I have been planning the next few chapters of this story like crazy, and I've got to admit I'm liking it. The next step is just to put those ideas into words. But, here is your weekly update!

Big thanks to: aRabidHobo, Heavenian, booklover2014 and lightninghawk101 for following/favouriting. It's nice to see this fic is still catching some attention, even after 130,000 words and 52 (now 53) chapters.

Review Response(s):

Pietersielie: I make no promises either way ;)

Alastair279: The other dov don't want to get involved, and Ira respects that choice.

jsun25: 1: Think back to the beginning of Dragons of the North (it was a long time ago, I know). What happened to Alduin then? ;) 2: Maybe - I haven't decided yet

Dragon Man 180: Unfortunately for you, I'm NOT going to make him come back as a pink flying elephant. Sorry, man. As for the other thing... Well, the time before this it took over five centuries for Alduin to be reborn... Think about that.

gabiey: The wait is over!

Mac Gustah: Now there's a name I haven't seen for a while (since chapter 41 - I went back and looked because I'm sad like that). I'm sorry about whatever shenanigans happened in your life (and schoolwork - I feel your pain), but it's good to hear from thou again. Also, yes, I killed Alduin. DEAL WITH IT! Also, from what I can gather, I stole your masculinity from you when you cried. Again... Why does this feel like it's becoming a recurring theme?

carelise: I'm getting lots of hugs from you... It's nice :3


Chapter 53:

The dark surrounded her, seeping into her pores and infecting her blood and filling her lungs. She felt compressed - like she was being squeezed from every side. Breathing became almost impossible. Movement was little more than a distant memory. Her ears felt muffled and she might as well have had no eyes with how little she could see. The rest of her senses were just deadweight. There was nothing to see, or hear, or touch, or taste, or smell. There was just... an abyss. Endless blackness.

She stumbled blindly, groping the empty air around her, her fingers seeking a familiar touch more than anything. A light started shining a few feet in front of her, growing in size. It whizzed around, creating a blurred circle around her. It drew closer and closer, and she started to feel hot. It's grew hotter the closer it got, and by the time it was within a foot of her body she was sweating like she'd spent hours running in a desert. Whenever she tried to shift away from the light, it edged slightly closer to her, and eventually she just stayed completely still, hoping this would mean the light would stop threatening to burn her skin so much. Certainly, the light didn't seem to want to move any closer.

And then, like a candle that was snagged by the wind, the light went out. It didn't flicker or fade, it was just there one second and gone the next. A tingle of trepidation began to form.

What would come next?

As if responding to her thoughts, a pale figure shimmered into view. They looked like a ghost. They were a white, cloud-like figure whose eyes and mouth were as black as the night sky. But unlike the night sky, there were no stars in those eyes. No, there was just darkness. An abyss. The ghost was more silent than the grave it arose from, staring lifelessly forward with heavy-lidded eyes and a slightly slack mouth. Its pale cheekbones accentuated the skeletal look and in the depth of the ghost's gaze her mind was robbed of emotion. Instead of running or screaming, she stood more still than a statue, and just as cold. The figure beckoned with fingers that rapidly faded from skin to bone and back again. There was a moment when the ghost flickered out of sight for a second, only to reappear in a more solid form, but this time its skin bore many silver scars, thick and jagged. The skin was pale. Red hair, like dirty copper, hung limp and tangled in uneven clumps. Purple lips. Glassy eyes. Pointed ears. A broken bow dangled loosely in her right hand.

Then, there was a shout, splitting through the heavy darkness with all the force of a whip.

"Ira!"

The ghost faded away, leaving nought but darkness.

"Ira, wake up!"

Her hand stretched outwards, fingers clamping over the first thing she could touch, which happened in this case to be a bearded throat. She blinked, eyes clearing, and then jumped back, removing her hand from around the dwarf's neck.

"Sorry," Ira mumbled weakly, rubbing her eyes.

Gimli stared at her for a few seconds, idly massaging the skin of his throat. "You alright, lass?" He finally asked. "You look pretty shaken."

"I'm fine," she assured him quickly. "Just a... strange dream."

"Good strange or bad strange?"

"I..." Ira frowned thoughtfully. "You know, I haven't a clue. It was just... well, it was just odd." She shook her head, before looking around and seeing that around a hundred of the soldiers were now up and about. "I guess we're gonna start moving soon, huh?"

Gimli nodded. "Within the hour," he said, before sending her one last look and then trudging away.

Ira watched her friend leave with a pang of regret in her heart. She could feel him pulling away from her. They were all doing it, except perhaps for Faramir and Aragorn. Aragorn had seen her through her darkest days, and Faramir was too good-natured to let her wallow in her self-pity and grief.

Honestly, Ira had almost given up. Without Alduin's presence acting as a constant reminder, she often forgot she wasn't alone. She sometimes forgot she carried life within her womb. She spent more time than not thinking about her own quest, rather than worrying about her goddaughter, whereas before it was undoubtedly the other way around. She normally wouldn't have let her friends move so far from her without fighting back. But she was just so tired. That dream life she created with her husband - where they were living alone in a nice but simple house, raising a family, working to keep themselves alive - was looking ever more appealing. Except it was missing the most important factor.

But Ira finally had been forced to realise just what she was losing by spending her life going on adventures. She'd already lost Amicitia and Thorin and Alduin. She would fight to the end of this war to keep the rest of her family and friends safe, but then she would settle into the wilderness and find a situation where she wasn't putting her friends' lives under threat. No more adventures. No more quests. No more life or death. It was time to step back and let someone else fill her spot.

While lost in the musings of her own mind, Ira had missed the conversation going on around her that she would have liked to hear, if only to defend herself.

"She is sinking further than we can reach," Gimli grunted, leaning on his axe. "At this rate, she won't have any will left to survive."

Aragorn shook his head. "She's just grieving," he said, defending the woman he often thought of as his own sister. He'd never told her this, as she would constantly remind him that she was five centuries older than him, but she was a woman who protected him, and who he protected in return, and who he could joke and laugh with, or turn to when he was feeling too weighed down by his life. She had always been there for him when he needed her. It was his turn now, but he wasn't sure what to do.

"This is beyond grief," Legolas murmured. "It is common amongst my kind. She is-"

"Fading," Aragorn finished dejectedly.

"And what does that entail?" Faramir queried, looking in concern at the Dragonborn, who seemed deep in the depths of her own head.

Legolas sighed through his nose. "When an elf finds love, it is eternal," he explained lowly. "My kind are gifted with only one love in their entire existence. When an elf's partner dies, they can sometimes go into a state of severe shock. They lose contact with the world around them, and they stop noticing the little things that made them happy before. After a while, it starts to take its toll, and their bodies give in."

"Suffice to say that 'fading' is the most literal meaning of the concept that is dying of heartbreak," Aragorn muttered lowly. "Now, I don't know if it's the same amongst dragons, but what I do know is that Alduin and Ira shared a bond far stronger than they ever allowed anyone else to see. They used to be arch enemies, but on the inside they were absolutely perfect for one another. Perhaps losing him will be enough to tear her from us completely."

"She is not allowing us to help her, that's the problem," Gimli argued. "Nothing we say hits home."

"The Ira we once knew and loved is still in there," Aragorn said tersely. "She makes an appearance from time to time. We have to make use of those times; try to keep that version of Ira at the fore for as long as we can. Maybe then we can pull her back out of her despair."

"She will not be caught if she doesn't want to be," Legolas muttered, shaking his head. "Really, whether or not she is able to come back to us is based on her decisions, not ours. If she chooses not to cooperate, there's not much we can do."

"If anyone were to pull through from something like this, it would be her," Faramir said strongly.

Legolas nodded his head for a moment, paused, then shook it. "I used to agree with you," he said, glancing at the Dragonborn who was finally getting to her feet. "Now I am not so sure. She is unaware now of many things that have happened around her."

"Like what?"

"Like the fact she hasn't noticed Ghardaz has not been here since after the battle at Helm's Deep," Gimli grumbled. "Normally she would notice the difference instantly. She has been distracted."

"She has a child under her heart, you cannot blame her," Aragorn murmured, watching as Ira walked away from the camp, a rosy red apple clenched in between her pale fingers. "And anyone would be bereaved after the death of someone so important to them."

"And yet she acts like she has no one left in the world who she needs or who needs her," Legolas reminded him. "If we are to be able to help her at all, we have to show that we're still there for her."

"What she needs is closure," Faramir said, eyes downcast and his brows furrowed.

Aragorn suddenly perked up. "I have an idea," he said, and everyone turned their expectant gazes his way.

...

They made good progress that day, but by the time night fell the whole army was exhausted. Men fell into their bed rolls as soon as they had finished eating, and within an hour the camp was a symphony of snores and heavy breathing, along with the occasional crackle of the several dozen campfires they'd lit.

Once again Ira found herself standing on the edge of the camp five hours after it had been set up, looking up at the night sky above her head. She was unsurprised when Aragorn came to a stop beside her. "I thought I would find you here," he said.

"The sky brings me comfort," Ira answered in return, though there was a certain distance in her voice.

Aragorn let out a sigh. "Ira, there's something I want to show you."

Ira frowned, looking over at her friend. "What is it?"

"Can you just trust me? Please, Ira."

Ira blinked, slightly offended. "Of course I trust you," she said strongly. "How could you ever doubt that?"

Aragorn sighed. "You've been different ever since... I didn't want to make any assumptions."

"Alduin's death doesn't change anything," Ira said, her voice slightly icy even though she flinched upon saying his name. "So, what do you want to show me?"

Aragorn smiled at her, before walking away without a word. Though he couldn't hear her, he knew that she was following him. They walked for ten minutes in silence, and in that time the only thing that changed was that Ira moved to walk beside him, instead of trailing a little behind. The said nothing, and Aragorn could tell that Ira was deep in thought yet again. She did that often - disappeared into the recesses of her own mind. He was starting to wonder what could possibly hold her attention for so long, but the more he thought about it himself, the more he realised he probably didn't want to know.

"Ira, I'm about to tell you something, and I don't want you to interrupt me, okay?" He said suddenly, breaking the easy quiet that had settled between them.

Ira glanced over at him, clearing the slight fog from her eyes as she came back to the real world. "Of course," she said quietly.

"I know you don't want to hear it, but we're worried about you," Aragorn said. "Some of us more than others. Legolas actually is starting to fear that you're Fading." Ira's lips pursed, indicating she really wanted to say to something, but she dutifully kept her silence. "You need to know that you are not alone in your grief. Admittedly, you're likely grieving enough for the rest of us combined, but you're not the only one who lost someone important that day. He was a part of all of our families." He shook his head sadly. "Alduin never deserved the fate he got, but that won't change the fact it happened. He died in battle, and because of that he was never properly commemorated." He smiled as they turned a final corner, moving around a large rock, and Ira suddenly stopped dead in her tracks.

In front of them, carved fifty feet high into a nearly sheer cliff, was a tribal outline of a dragon. It had been burnt black, and beneath it, in large, familiar letters, was his name and title in the dragon script - Alduin, World Eater.

"I didn't know any of you knew our language," Ira said through a tight throat, after getting past her initial shock.

Aragorn chuckled. "Learning an alphabet is different to learning a language." He placed a hand on her shoulder. "Go on," he said quietly, and Ira stared at him for a moment, tears prickling in her blue eyes, before she threw her arms around him and squeezed him tightly.

"Thank you," she whispered into his ear, before pulling back, pressing a kiss to his forehead, and then turning towards the large mural. Aragorn watched with a smile as she walked closer to the rock, staring up at the carving.

As Ira moved, she became aware of the eyes on her, so she turned her head to see a large gathering of people standing slightly to the side. Eomer, Faramir, Legolas, Gimli, Merry, Pippin and Gandalf formed a line, smiling at her gently. Ira stared at them in shock, before facing the mural again. She pressed her hand against the letter 'a', bowing her head as the thought that he was gone finally settled itself into her mind.

And then he was there in her head, whispering those same words he'd told her the night before the battle that would claim his life. "You will live and you will raise our child and you will find happiness."

It was as if those words were spoken as his dying wish, and as much as she hated to admit, Aragorn was right. Alduin died in battle, sacrificing himself for what he himself had called a worthy cause. And even though the thought that he was gone tore her to pieces, she knew she could never let that sacrifice be in vain. He had promised he would be back, and she believed him. First, she just had to reach that point.

"Zu'u fen saraan fah hi fah Zu'u ni laan naan nunon hi, (I will wait for you because I don't want anyone else,)" she whispered, before squaring her shoulders, wiping the tears away from her eyes, and turning away from her friends. She saw their looks of disappointment, and so paused. She glanced over at them. "You should all get some sleep," she said. "We have a war to fight, after all." And then her face split into a grin as their faces became awash with relief. She sent them a single, small salute, before marching back to the camp.

Ira liked to believe that everyone died for a reason. Sometimes it was to give someone else a new chance of life. Alduin sacrificed himself so she and their child could continue to live until he made it back to them. She waited 523 years after the last time Alduin died before she saw him again. If she had to wait just as long this time, she would do so willingly. It was a promise she made herself as she settled back onto her bed roll. She had to make the most of her life in order to make the sacrifice he made worthwhile. He deserved that, at the very least.


Voila! Have a good rest-of-Sunday, everyone!

Until next weekend ;)