Bonnie Sveen Fan, Cal really needed someone to be kind to him and Zoe can be very motherly sometimes. I suppose Duffy is the motherly one now. Thank you for your review.
westlife4ever80, I think Cal would really appreciate a hug! Though he might not believe you if you told him everything was going to be okay. I agree Angela wouldn't be disappointed with Dylan - she probably thinks he's perfect! Thank you for your review.
LoveFiction2016, thank you for your review - I'm glad you liked the chapter.
Tanith Panic, I agree that Zoe didn't want to offend Cal - in a situation like that, the comforter will resort to clichés that aren't actually that comforting! And as you say, Cal is feeling very negative at the moment. Thank you for your review.
Thank you to meriwether30 for the follow.
Dylan was in the middle of examining a patient who was showing symptoms of acute ascending cholangitis when his phone rang. He considered ignoring it, but he received few phone calls and most of them were important. He apologised to the patient and took his phone out of his pocket to check who it was.
His heart seemed to lift, then plummet when he saw who it was (another ridiculous description: it was physically impossible for his heart to do either). "Excuse me: I need to answer this."
In any other circumstances, he would have been perfectly happy to speak to Angela, but he was sure she'd only phone him in the middle of a shift if something was very wrong.
Doctors usually only got called by the psych ward if a patient had sustained some injury, which was very often either self-inflicted or caused by another patient. Both were extremely worrying situations and not one Dylan would wish on anybody, but he'd always been able to detach without too much difficulty.
But everything felt different now he had a friend working on the psych ward and a colleague in one of the beds.
Dylan was beginning to understand why some people – Cal being one of the main offenders – spent time staring at their phone before reluctantly answering it. In the past, it had always seemed pointless to Dylan: if they were going to answer it, they might as well answer it straight away. It wouldn't change anything except possibly to make the caller feel annoyed it took him so long to answer.
But now Dylan understood. Every second that past was another second where he still had hope.
Slowly, Dylan lifted the phone to his ear. "Angela?"
"Dylan!" said Angela in obvious relief. "I'm so sorry to call you like this. I know you're busy. I need to speak to Cal, but he's not answering his phone. I don't suppose you know where he is?"
"I… I haven't seen him for a while," said Dylan. He found himself unwilling to admit he'd left Cal on his own when he was upset. "I could go and look for him if you wanted me to."
"Would you mind?" said Angela. "I know you're busy, but we can't really spare anyone at the moment and it is quite important."
"Is it Ethan?" asked Dylan, before quickly adding: "I'm sorry. I knowyou can't tell me."
"Well… I shouldn't, but.." Angela paused. "Will you please tell Cal… Ethan hasn't harmed himself or anybody else, but he really needs his brother."
Dylan would probably have told anyone else to tell Cal themselves, but it was different when it was Angela. Perhaps it was because he knew Angela wasn't lazy. If she said she wasn't able to come to the ED to find Cal herself, that must be the truth.
Besides, she could hardly come running over to the ED and start peeping into all the cubicles.
Dylan went to reception and asked Noel where Cal was working today. Noel thought Cal was in cubicles, so Dylan went to cubicles and listened for Cal's voice.
"Dylan? What are you doing?" asked Zoe.
Dylan turned to face her. "I'm looking for Cal."
"Why? What do you need Cal-" Zoe stopped. She lowered her voice. "It's Ethan, isn't it?"
Dylan nodded. "I don't know exactly what's happened, but Angela asked me to find him."
Zoe looked very interested. "Oh, Angela asked you especially, did she? Um, not that it's relevant. Don't worry. We'll find Cal." She opened one of the cubicles to display Max lying on one of the bed with his shirt off.
"Oh, Dr Hanna, I have an itch that needs scratching," said Max. Then he saw Dylan and looked awkward. "Oh. Um… hi, Dylan."
"Max, where's Cal?" asked Zoe.
Max shrugged. "Haven't seen him all day."
"That's very helpful," said Zoe. "We need to find him now. Max, try the staff room and the nurses' station. No: put your shirt on first. We'll do cubicles. You do the higher numbers, Dylan."
Dylan didn't know whether to be grateful or annoyed, but he decided to let it go. He went to the furthest cubicle, listened for a moment or two, and then pushed the curtains aside.
Cal turned to look at him, then went very still. "Is it Ethan?" he asked, his voice barely audible.
Dylan nodded.
"Excuse me," Cal said to his patient, and left the cubicle. "What's happened?"
"Angela says Ethan hasn't harmed himself or anyone else, but he needs you," said Dylan.
"But how bad?" burst out Cal. He started to pace, his hands in his hair. "What's happened? I need to know what happened!"
"I can't tell you, but you will find out if you go," said Dylan.
Cal nodded and turned towards the exit, but then he began to tremble. "I can't go. I can't."
"Of course you can," said Dylan.
"I can't!" said Cal. "I don't know what I'm going to find there. I don't know what 'he needs you' means."
Dylan really wasn't sure what to say. "Well, he can't be in need of emergency medical treatment or they'd have brought him here or called for another doctor. If his life was in immediate danger, the same would apply."
Tears filled Cal's eyes. "I can't go, Dylan. Don't make me go! But I've got to go. I don't know what to do!"
"I would suggest not panicking for a start," said Dylan. "You won't be any use to Ethan if you do."
"How am I supposed to not panic?" said Cal, pacing again. "My little brother might have tried to kill himself. Or someone else might have tried to kill him. You've got a little brother or sister, haven't you?"
"My father and his wife have a baby daughter."
"Well, think if it was her!" said Cal. "Don't you think you'd panic a little bit?"
"I wouldn't have thought so. I'm not given to panicking and I've never met her," said Dylan.
Cal groaned. "Just... just come with me, Dylan. That's all I'm asking. Don't make me do this one my own."
Dylan froze. "I'm sure… someone more suitable…" He looked around for Zoe and Max, but they'd disappeared. Dylan couldn't take the time to look for them. David might do: He didn't say much, but that didn't seem to stop him from getting through to the patients.
Lofty would be perfect, of course. But Lofty wasn't here.
The only people Dylan could see were Louise and Lily. Both more than competent at their job, but probably no better than Dylan at being supportive.
"Please!" said Cal. "You know what's going on." He was crying now. "Please, Dylan?"
"Oh, all right," said Dylan. "It's probably quicker than arguing with you and if Ethan does require medical attention – and Angela said nothing to suggest he did – I'll be better-placed to provide it than you. Come on."
Cal gave Dylan a look of gratitude that made him feel even more uncomfortable. "Thank you."
"Yes, all right. Are we going to go or not?"
After Dylan had asked Lily and Louise to let Zoe and Max know he'd found Cal, they headed for the lifts. Dylan pressed the button for the correct floor and cast a wary glance at Cal. He was breathing hard. "Okay. You might feel better physically if you breathe through your nose. And a bit more slowly. You don't want to be admitted as patient."
Cal's face was unusually serious as he said: "If I was admitted, I'd be with Ethan all the time. So there's nothing I'd like more."
"Well, don't look at me," said Dylan. "Even if I did refer you, you'd fail the psych assessment. So forget about that and concentrate on getting calm so you can help Ethan as much as possible."
The suggestion of a smile flickered across Cal's face. "You know, I always used to feel sorry for your patients. But you're actually making me feel a bit better."
"In the past I've had concerns about some of your patients," said Dylan.
Cal's smile seemed stronger this time. "The young female ones, right?"
Dylan nodded.
"Well, you won't have to worry about them anymore," said Cal. "It's all about Ethan now. I've got to get him better and get him back to work. The ladies of Holby will have to do without me. I've got more important things to think about now."
Cal walked up to the psych ward reception as though he'd done it many times before. "Hi. I'm here to see Ethan Hardy."
"It's Dr Knight, isn't it?"
Dylan waited for Cal to tell her she could call him Cal, but he didn't. He just nodded.
"If you take a seat, Dr Knight, someone should be with you shortly." She reached for the phone and told someone Dr Knight was here.
"I should probably go back," said Dylan, but Cal immediately panicked.
"No. You can't leave me now. Not yet."
"All right. I'll stay," said Dylan. "But I'm sure the er, hand-holding isn't strictly necessary."
Cal looked down at his hand in surprise and quickly let go of Dylan's, though he seemed too frightened to be embarrassed. He turned towards one of the doors and stared at it almost desperately.
Almost immediately, it opened and Angela was there. "Dylan!" She looked startled, but Dylan liked to think she didn't look displeased.
"I… came up with him," said Dylan.
Angela smiled. "That was sweet of you. Hi, Cal."
Dylan wondered when he'd last been described as sweet.
Then he wondered why he wasn't completely appalled that he'd been described as sweet.
"Come with me and I'll talk you through what's happened as quickly as I can, then I'll take you to Ethan," said Angela. "Would you like Dylan to come too?"
"I really should be getting back," said Dylan. "But…"
"No, it's fine," said Cal with an effort. "I'll be fine with Angela. Thanks for coming up with me, Dylan."
"That's all right," said Dylan. He hesitated. "If there's any news and you want to tell me about it, I don't mind."
He knew that hadn't come out quite as it ought to have done, but both Angela and Cal smiled.
"Thanks, Dylan," said Cal. "I appreciate it."
