Authors Note: This is a not a happy chapter. The first and second sections overlap in time, the second part is from Dis' perspective as events unfold. Please wait for chapter 50 before you send me strongly worded PMs. Thanks for reading and thank you for all the great reviews for Ch. 48!

-O-

Chapter 49 – Nothing left to give

Dax

He didn't understand what was happening, he didn't understand what 'fading' meant. When the elf maiden Vivien said it he glanced over and saw Lady Dis face, he knew then that it was something terrible just by the shocked expression she wore. He felt his mouth go dry and dread fill his heart, this was worse than he had feared. Dax did not fight, he let the elf maiden pull him along; the tall blond elf Haldir quickly walked past them to where two horses were waiting.

"Can you ride?" Haldir asked him when they arrived. Dax nodded and grabbed the reins from the blond elf. "Good, we have to hurry… Lady Galadriel will be meet us there with the wizard Radagast." He lifted Vivien effortlessly up into the saddle and jumped up behind her. Without another word, the Marchwarden turned the horse and started a trot towards the path down the hillside. Dax quickly mounted the horse, the stirrups didn't quite work; they were too long. He was use to riding without a saddle and quickly adjusted to the horse, he turned and followed them down the hill.

The trail was well maintained, the hard packed earth made it easy to keep up with the Marchwarden's horse. He almost wanted to urge the horse to go faster but there was no point, he had no idea where he was going. Anxiety was building within him as they drew closer to the giant trees, he wished he knew what was wrong. He wanted to speak with Vivien but they were moving too quickly for conversation. 'Sabyn… I'm so sorry', he thought over and over. Whatever was wrong with her was his fault for not being honest with her from the beginning… for not being honest with himself. Every regret he had just fed the misery he felt, he made a vow to himself to do everything that was possible to make this up to Sabyn.

They rode through an archway and past guards that were posted at either side, he could start to see structures partially hidden by the trees ahead. After a few moments Haldir started to slow his horse down to a trot as the path narrowed and they entered the actual city. Dax glanced around at the buildings and the elves walking along the path, there seemed to be more elves here than what he had seen in Rivendell. The structures were impressive but their beauty was lost on him, his thoughts were only on his elf maiden. He focused his eyes back on Haldir and the elf maiden as they continued down the path. Suddenly Haldir turned the horse to the left down a narrower path leading to what appeared to be a more secluded area. There was a large building at the end of the trail, it was surrounded by several smaller structures; they looked like little houses. When they reached the end Haldir quickly dismounted and helped the elf maiden down. Dax quickly jumped off the horse's back and guided the horse to where Haldir was standing.

"Hand me the reins," the tall elf directed. He had just handed the reins off when Vivien grabbed his arm and started to pull him up the stairs towards the double doors. The elf maiden had not said anything to him since the top of the hill outside of the city, he could bear it no longer.

"Please tell me what is wrong with her? What does fading mean?" he asked, his tone full of desperation. Vivien glanced over her shoulder at him, she turned back but did not slow her pace. Dax had assumed that she wasn't going to answer him, he was overcome with relief when she started to speak.

"After she found out you were betrothed to another she refused to sleep… we tried to get her to sleep at least during the day so she wouldn't see you but she would not. Then she refused to eat, this went on for over a week until Miriel noticed the signs…" she said briskly as she led him through a set of doors that opened to a hallway. "We decided to sedate her then… Miriel made potion that put her into a sleep without dreams. We stayed with her day in and day out in shifts, she was never was alone. We kept her that way since but it only slowed it down. In the last few days she has gotten worse… we've been praying to Eru that you would arrive with the others. Bethyl told us that Gavin said there were six of you coming from the Blue Mountains, we hoped the sixth dwarf was you and that you would make it in time," she said as she stopped outside a door. Vivien gave him a sad smile, "I only hope that it is not too late."

"Too late?" he barely whispered. "Is she…" he couldn't say the word. The elf maiden nodded, her eyes shimmered with tears.

"Yes… that is what it means to fade as an elf," she said as she lifted the door handle. Dax felt like he was going to be sick, he brought a shaky hand up to his mouth as Vivian pulled the door open. He had expected to see Sabyn but instead it appeared to be a waiting room, there were several chairs and divans lining the walls. They were nearly full with other little elf maidens, they all had stopped talking and looked up as soon as they stepped into the room. Several of the maidens were comforting others, their arms around each other for support. Many had tears streaming down their faces, they just stared at him in confusion; they started to whisper amongst themselves. Others openly glared at him, the anger apparent in their eyes. He felt judged, their eyes bored into him making him feel uneasy and only fed to the self-loathing that he was feeling. Dax couldn't blame them, all of this was his fault. Vivian led him through the maze of furniture to a door at the far end of the room. When they reached the door Vivien grasped the handle then paused and turned towards him. "Just try to talk to her… I don't know if it will help but please try. Maybe just your presence will bring her out of it," she said, the pain in her voice only fed his own despair. He nodded and steeled himself for what he would see beyond the door.

The room was dimly lit, his eyes strained to see past the shadows. Once his vision adjusted he focused in on the lone small bed in the center of the room. Dax felt his heart break at the sight before him, he stood there frozen as he stared down at the pale face of his beloved Sabyn. He barely noticed the other elf maiden that was sitting in a chair next to the bed.

"How is she Miriel?" asked Vivien in a quiet voice. The elf maiden stood up and walked over to them, she stared at him with narrow eyes that were weary with fatigue.

"Is this him?" she asked, hostility evident in her voice. Vivien nodded and Miriel let out a sigh and shook her head. "She is the same as she was this morning before you left with Haldir." She gestured for him to take her place next to the bed. "Well go on," she said with annoyance. "See if you can help… she is just sleeping, it is not safe to sedate her anymore." She turned away from him and towards Vivien. "Galadriel is coming right?"

"Yes… and she's bringing a wizard," Vivien said hopefully. Dax quietly stepped around the maidens, his eyes were locked on Sabyn's sleeping face. The closer he came to the bed the more despair he felt, she looked so different than the last time he saw her in his dream. Her skin was very pale, it seemed to have an almost greyish hue to it. Her beautiful auburn hair was spread out on the pillow, it seemed so dull and lifeless. Even in this state she was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen, his heart ached as his mind flashed through their time together in the dreams when she was happy and lively; a stark contrast to now. He just stood there for a moment staring down at her when he felt his eyes begin to sting. Tears blurred his vision as sorrow and guilt overwhelmed him. He never wanted this to happen, he hated himself for hurting her… for causing her so much pain that she didn't want to live anymore. Dax slowly sat down on the bed next to her. His hesitant hand reached over and cupped her cheek; her skin was cool. He could see her shallow breaths or he would have thought the worst.

"Sabyn… please wake up," he begged as his calloused thumb stroked her cheek. She didn't wake up or move at all, he felt fear and choking regret overtake his heart… he was too late. He gently cupped both sides of her face then he leaned down and placed a tender kiss on her forehead. As he pulled away a sob broke from his lips that he couldn't hold back anymore. The last time he had cried he was in his twenties, it was when his older brother died in an orc raid. He didn't understand why but this hurt worse, this tore at his very being; the misery was unbearable. His tears started to flow harder, he pulled her limp form up into his arms and cradled her against his chest. "Please don't go…" he said roughly, his voice breaking. "I chose you Sabyn… I chose you…" he whispered as he started to rock back and forth. He didn't know how long he held her, time had no meaning to him as he held her tight against his chest. Her slow weak breaths against the skin on his neck was the only indication he had that she still lived. A firm hand gripped his shoulder, he didn't turn to see who it was. His arms tightened around Sabyn, he was afraid they would try to make him leave… try to take her away from him and that was not happening.

"Dax, let me see her," said a soft melodic voice. He turned slightly to see the Lady Galadriel standing next to him. Her voice held a commanding tone that he could not refuse. Dax slowly lowered Sabyn back down on the pillow, he hesitantly moved out of the way so the Lady of Lorien could examine her. Dax backed away from the bed and nearly bumped into someone. He turned to see an old man in dirty brown robes standing there. The wizard… he thought. Over the whole journey here from Rivendell he had only seen the old man a few times, he had kept to himself and always had a few stray animals around him. Dax never would have thought this man with the matted beard full of twigs and filth was one of the most powerful beings in Middle Earth. Regardless of the wizard's condition, it did give him a sliver of hope. He was one of the three wizards, he could bring her back. The wizard gave him a brief nervous nod and stepped aside, his hands were shaking as he fidgeted with his robes.

"She hangs by a tread…" Galadriel said softly as she laid her hand on Sabyn's forehead. "Radagast, can you bring her back?" she asked as she pulled her hand back and stepped away from the bed. She motioned for the wizard to approach the bed, Radagast reluctantly stepped forward. He placed his hand on Sabyn's forehead and started mumbling. Dax stepped closer so he could see what the wizard was doing, he glanced to the side and noticed that the door was open. He could see the elf maidens in the other room, they sat there anxiously watching them. Dax turned away, he didn't want to see the judgment in their eyes that he had seen earlier. Galadriel took a few steps to him and laid a comforting hand on his shoulder as they both watched the wizard work. After a few minutes Radagast stepped away from the bed and shook his head sadly. At that moment Dax's world came to a halt as he stared disbelievingly at the wizard.

"She is too weak, even if I could pull her back the light within her has dimmed to the point where there is barely anything to come back to," he said as he wrung his hands. Galadriel gave the wizard a hard stare, her grip on Dax's shoulder tightening.

"Bind them," she said ordered, her voice was soft but firm. Radagast gave her a shocked look then glanced at him, his eyes were wide. Dax looked up at Galadriel his eyes full of questions but the seriousness of her gaze stilled his lips from asking any.

"I – I can't do that! If they are bound then if she dies so does he! No… I would have to transfer his essence to her. But Galadriel that is dangerous! I… I'm not good at these things. Gandalf or Saruman would be able to do it…" he said frantically as his eyes darted from the Lady of Lorien to Dax. "What if I mess up? What if I do too much? I could kill them both!" he was nearly hysterical as he paced back and forth. Galadriel let go of his shoulder and walked towards the flustered wizard. She cupped his bearded cheek and gave the wizard a soft smile.

"You have to Radagast… you are her only hope. We cannot wait for the others, it has to be done now," she said as she gazed into his eyes. The wizard swallowed hard and nodded. "Good… what do we need to do?"

"Uh… they need to be touching as much as possible," he turned and looked at Dax. "You'll need to lay down and hold her," he said as pointed at the bed. Then he stopped and turned to look at Dax. "This could kill you… I just thought you should know." Dax was taken aback by his abrupt words. "Her light is almost gone, I'll have to take your life force and give it to her… but I don't know how much. Maybe all… I just don't know," he said, his voice rising slightly as he started to get upset again. Radagast looked desperately at the Lady of Lorien and was met with a hard stare, the wizard sighed in resignation. He looked up at Dax again, his eyes full of uncertainty. "Do you agree?" he asked as he fidgeted anxiously with his beard. Dax looked over at Sabyn, there was no way he could refuse… he would do anything he could to save her. Without a moment of hesitation he started to strip off his coat and boots, he tossed them aside and climbed into the bed. He pulled her into his arms so that her back was pressed against his chest and hugged her tight, his face nestled in her auburn locks that smelled of lilies. The wizard laid a clammy hand on his forehead and one on Sabyn's then he started to chant loudly in a language Dax didn't understand. He was vaguely aware of Galadriel closing the door and pulling up a chair close to the bed. He started to feel very dizzy and tired, he closed his eyes and tightened his arms around Sabyn. A sharp searing pain shot through his entire body causing him to cry out, the pain continued to grow as he felt himself growing weaker and weaker. The agony was too much, a scream left his lips and then darkness overtook him.

ooOoo

Dis

She was worried. Galadriel did not help her anxiety, the elven lady was grim and nearly frantic to find the wizard Radagast before they left to follow the path down to the city. Dis knew better than to ask too many questions, she remained silent the whole trip down to the city. She noticed how nervous and fidgety a wizard was as he rode with them, Dis wondered what help he could be. When they had arrived at the large building Dis waited near the carriage with Lindir as Galadriel and the wizard rushed inside. A few moments later the other dwarves arrived, the concern was etched in their young faces.

"Lady Dis what is happening?" asked Mal, his brow was furrowed as he walked quickly towards her with the other dwarves trailing behind.

"Dax's elf maiden is dying," she bluntly. There was no reason to not be brutally honest about this, they needed to be aware this could happen to their maidens. Especially since their actions could be the cause of this, just as Fili's actions nearly led Eli down this path. Horrified murmurs could be heard as the dwarves looked at her in disbelief and shock over the news.

"How? I thought elves didn't get sick…" asked Lars, his eyes were wide and his face pale. Dis took a deep breath as she prepared to explain when Lindir laid a hand on her arm.

"I will explain," he said softly. Dis nodded, she was relieved; Lindir could explain it better than her. Lindir turned to address the dwarves. "Elves do not get sick unless poisoned but we can lose our will to live. When this happens we fade which almost always results in our death. Severe trauma or abuse can cause it to happen, in this case heartbreak has caused it," he said sadly. "Lady Vivien told us that Lady Sabyn had stopped sleeping and eating after learning that Dax had been betrothed to another. She would not listen to reason and they had to sedate her, if they would not have done that she would have died long before we arrived." The dwarves' reaction ranged from shocked to fearful after they heard Lindir's words.

"What if we do something to upset them? Will they fade?" asked Gavin in a small voice. Lindir shook his head.

"It has to be something terrible… a betrayal or something that would cause them great emotional pain. Lady Sabyn had mistakenly thought that Dax was going to stay with the dwarf girl that he was betrothed to before the orbs had happened. She didn't know that he had chosen her, she never gave him a chance to tell her," he clarified. "A normal argument or disagreement with an elf maiden will not cause this. Usually we do not see things like this happen unless those involved are bonded." Dis frowned, a thought occurred to her.

"What if they are already bonded? What if that's what the orbs did?" she asked. It would make sense and explain why there was such a pull for the dwarves to find their maidens. Lindir became pensive for a moment as he glanced at the building.

"It is possible… we should discuss it with Lady Galadriel. Let us go inside and wait, perhaps we can ask her," he said as he gestured towards the stairs. Dis nodded and beckoned for the dwarves to follow her. They climbed the stairs and went inside, where they found Haldir waiting for them.

"I will escort you to the where the elm maidens wait," he said with a bow. The tall blond elf led them through the building and down a hallway. Dis could see that the dwarves were beginning to get more anxious and fidgety as the followed along behind them. When they reached the doorway she glanced back at the dwarves and nearly laughed at the state she found them. They were exceptionally nervous, a few of them were very pale and their hands trembled; Lars was the worst, he was sweating profusely and he looked as if he was going to be sick. Mal stepped forward, his eyes were wide and full of fear.

"My lady… if it would be acceptable we would like to wait out here," he said quietly, his voice was full of apprehension. "We're not ready." Dis glanced around at the dwarves, they were a mess! Dis never thought they would be this nervous… excited and maybe a bit frightened but not this panicky. She gave Mal a sympathetic smile and patted his arm.

"That is fine," she turned to Haldir. "Is there another room where they can wait?" The Marchwarden nodded, Dis could see the amusement in the elf's eyes.

"I will show them to the library… they can wait there," he said as he gestured down the hallway. Dis heard a few audible sighs of relief from the dwarves, Lars looked a little less ill. They started to follow the tall blond elf down the hall, as they passed her Mal mouthed the words 'thank you' as he passed making her smile. Lindir stepped forward and pulled open the door for her. Dis stepped inside and instantly her eyes focused on the open door on the opposite side of the room. She saw Dax pull off his boots and climb into a small bed, he curled up behind an elf maiden and pulled her close; Radagast and Galadriel were in the room with them. Before she could take a step forward she watched as Galadriel turned and closed the door. Dis frowned, apparently the Lady of Lorien did not want the others to see what was happening. She sighed and looked around, she noted the ten elf maidens sitting on the various chairs and divans scattered about the room. Everyone in the room was upset, they had to know how dire Sabyn's situation was. Many of the maidens were crying, others sat there quietly staring at the closed door. Only a few seemed to notice Dis as she took a seat in one of the chairs, they stared at her with curious eyes. A muffled masculine cry was heard coming from behind the closed door. Several of the maidens gasped and a few of them quickly stood, everyone was unsure what to do. The elf maidens whispered frantically to each other, even Dis herself was uncertain what to do. She had no idea what was going on or what the wizard was doing behind the closed door. Then another cry was heard, this one louder and full of agony, she quickly got to her feet. The cry was horrible… it tore at her heart, she knew that it came from Dax. She quickly crossed the room and pushed past the elf maidens that had stood from their seats.

"Lady Dis… wait," called Lindir from behind her. There was no way she was stopping, she needed to know what they were doing. The elf maidens near the door looked at her fearfully and stepped out of her way. Before she grasped the handle of the door the cry suddenly went silent. Dis heart raced with fear as she quickly pulled the door open, she was shocked at what she saw. Radagast was chanting as he stood over the young couple laying on the bed, his hands placed on their heads; an eerie golden glow was emanating from his hands. Neither Dax or Sabyn were moving, she was going to say something but one look from Galadriel who was sitting next to the bed silenced her. Dis quietly pulled the door closed behind her, shutting out the view for the curious eyes of the elf maidens who had gathered outside. She walked over and stood next to Galadriel, unable to look away from the sight before her. Something didn't seem right… first those horrible screams and now Dax laid there unmoving; she had no idea what was going on. After a few moments the wizard removed his hands from their foreheads, she watched as he check for a pulse on the side of Dax's neck. When she saw his shoulders slump she immediately rushed forward and pushed the old wizard out of the way.

"What did you do?" she hissed as she pressed her fingers on the young dwarf's neck… nothing. Dis rolled Dax onto his back and pressed her hand on his chest… he was not breathing. She spun and gave Galadriel and the wizard a desperate look. "Help him!" she cried. The wizard hung his head low, he wouldn't look at her. Galadriel had covered her mouth with her hand, tears started to stream down her cheeks.

"I'm sorry…" Radagast murmured. "He knew the risks… It took all he had to bring the elf maiden back. I'm so sorry," he said softly, his voice full of regret. Dis looked helplessly at Galadriel, the tears flowing down the Lady of Lorien's cheeks said it all. Dis' hands started to tremble, she was unable to breathe as she turned back towards the young dwarf laying in the bed next to his elf maiden. She hesitantly reached her hand up and caressed his still warm cheek. He was the same age as her babies… a young dwarf just beginning his life; a life he was willing to sacrifice for an elf maiden that he had fallen in love with in a dream. A combination of anger and raw grief boiled within her, this wasn't supposed to happen! He was supposed to be happy with his elf maiden! The Valar needed them to save the dwarf race, they needed every one of them. Why did they let him die? They were gods, they orchestrated this whole mess. Why uproot his life and brought him here just for him to die? Heavy sobs left her lips as anger and sorrow overwhelmed her, Dis felt her knees give out as her wails of grief echoed in the small room. Strong arms wrapped around her and pulled her into a tight embrace. Lindir held her close, his cheek resting on her head as he murmured comforting words to her. Dis didn't hear them, she was too lost to her suffocating misery. She wrapped her arms around Lindir's waist as he knelt on the ground holding her as she wept.

ooOoo