Scully padded into the living room in bare feet, a glass of red wine in her hand. As she took a seat on the sofa, she took a hearty sip, wincing as the wine burnt the back of her throat. She took another. Picking up the remote control, she flicked on the television and surfed through the seemingly endless number of channels, eager to fill the silence in the apartment. Ashley was staying at Megan's house for the night to celebrate her best friend's birthday, and Scully missed her. When she was at home, Ashley kept her focused; she stopped her mind from wandering, from thinking about everything that had happened in recent months – her cancer, memories of her abduction, her 'calling' to Ruskin Dam, Emily….The little girl had been on Scully's mind ever since Christmas, but more so in recent days when Emily had appeared to her in visions. And now she was all that Scully could think about, along with her inability to have children. She'd known for a while now that she was unable to conceive. Since her abduction her periods had been irregular, but it wasn't until one night when Scully started bleeding heavily and suffering from crippling cramps that she realized something was up. Leaving a tired and confused Ashley with their neighbor, Scully took herself off to the hospital, where tests later revealed that she was infertile. But then along came her cancer, and so Scully hadn't really had the time to process the news. Until Emily, when she learned that not only did Mulder known, and had known for a while, he hadn't mentioned anything to her. He knew that she would never have a child, that her body just kept failing her. Life was unfair, thought Scully as she finished her glass of wine, half wondering whether she should slow down. But then again, she had nothing better to do that evening, and maybe the alcohol could help her forget. Finding nothing to watch on the television, Scully switched it off, throwing the remote onto the sofa next to her in disgust. Silence filled the room once again, and she closed her eyes, trying to hold back the tears. When she opened them, she gasped as she saw the little girl in front of her, her youngest daughter, with Ashley's coloring and eyes. "Mommy, what's wrong?"

"No…" Scully uttered in horror. "No, no no!" Before she could even register what she was doing, Scully threw her now empty glass in the direction of the little girl. But Emily had disappeared, and the glass sailed straight into the wall, smashing into tiny pieces. The adrenaline made her feel momentarily better – finally she was letting out her grief. The remote control followed next, the back cover shattering and batteries springing free on impact, and suddenly Scully needed more. It was as though something inside her had snapped, and her anger had suddenly boiled to the surface. Jumping up from the sofa, she ran over to her desk, reaching out for a photo frame, which she then threw at the wall. That one was for her inability to have children. Another followed, for Emily this time, and then another, for all the pain that Ashley had endured, and Scully dimly registered a piece of glass rebounding and slicing into her cheek. But still she kept on going, tears now streaming down her cheeks as she finally felt release. The fourth frame smashed against the wall – this one was for Mulder for everything he'd lost – when Scully registered that there was a knock at the door. Moments later her partner's familiar voice called out. "Scully? Scully?"

She thought about ignoring him, but Mulder was persistent. She knew that if she didn't answer, he'd let himself in anyway or – if he'd heard the smashing of glass – he'd probably kick the door in. Walking over to the door, Scully opened it, and realized just what Mulder faced as he stood in front of her – an overly emotional partner in an apartment that looked as though it had been ransacked.

"Scully?"

Unwilling to meet his eye, Scully shook her head, not trusting herself to speak. Mulder took in the scene before him – his partner stood in the doorway in black sweatpants and a white t-shirt, her feet bare. Tears trailed down her cheeks and blood trickled from a wound to her face. Behind her, he noticed shards of glass scattered all over the floor; cuts on her feet confirming that she'd walked across it all to get to the door. She'd finally broken down – after all she'd been through he wasn't surprised. It had been on the cards for a while, and Mulder had sensed her low mood earlier that day following their latest case. He'd known that Ashley was staying at her friend's that evening, and that Scully was going to be alone, so he'd collected takeout and headed over to her apartment, determined to be there for her. "Oh Scully", he murmured, stepping into her apartment.

She shook her head, willing him not to push her too hard – the last thing she wanted to do was to for him to think that she was weak. They worked together after all, and she didn't want Mulder to feel bad for her – they were supposed to be equals. But if Mulder thought she was inferior, he didn't show it, instead nodding, as though he understood that she didn't want to talk about her anger, and placed the bag he was holding on the floor. Turning to close the door, he then faced Scully once more and took her into his arms. She resisted initially before wrapping her arms around his waist, unable to stop the tears from continuing as she clung to him. Mulder held her silently, just letting her cry, wishing he could take away her pain. She'd suffered so much and had always maintained a strong exterior. Yes she may have shed a few tears, but she'd yet to break down completely. Until now. Finally, when it seemed that her tears were slowly drying up, he pressed his lips to her forehead and pulled back. "Let's get you cleaned up Scully".

She shook her head, and Mulder was pained to see that her eyes had filled with tears once again. "I'm ok", she protested weakly.

"I know you are, but let me do this Scully, please". Before she could refuse, he took hold of her hand and led her to the bathroom. She followed reluctantly, in a similar way to Ashley when her mother dragged her to the dentist, but she didn't decline anymore. If Mulder hadn't already been worried about her, that would have set the alarm bells ringing. The strong Scully he faced 99 percent of the time would have insisted she didn't need his help, that she could take care of herself. But not that night. Entering the bathroom, Mulder turned to find his partner stood behind him, staring down at her feet, her breath hitching as the tears fell. Placing his hands on her hips, he guided her to stand in front of him, facing him as he hitched her up onto the counter. Coming to stand in between her legs, he turned on the tap and took hold of a washcloth from the side, holding it underneath the running water. As Scully continued to cry, he gently pressed the wet cloth to her cheek, frowning as she winced. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry", he murmured soothingly, wishing he could wash away her pain like he could the blood. Thankfully no glass seemed to be embedded in the wound, and pretty soon the bleeding had stopped. Rinsing out the washcloth, he placed it back on the side of the sink. He moved to lift Scully back onto the floor, but she surprised him when rather than hop down, she clung to him, hiding her face in the crook of his neck and sobbing. He held her until finally her tears subsided, until finally she could cry no more. "I wish I could take away your pain Scully", he whispered into her hair, tracing light circles across her back. "I wish I could make it better for you".

"I just keep wondering if there are any others out there", she finally replied, her voice hoarse from sobbing. "Like Emily. If every now and then they'll show up just as I'm getting my life back on track. I feel like someone's trying to break me". Mulder said nothing at first, though he had wondered exactly the same. "And sometimes I wonder just how much I can take. How much more Ashley can take".

"You don't know how strong you are Scully", he finally replied. "You might not feel it right now, but you are. I see it. I see you. I've seen you get knocked down and come back stronger than before. I saw you fight back from the death with your cancer, and I swear you survived from sheer determination alone. I've seen you fight to raise Ashley by yourself. You said to me once how hard it was, how you weren't sure you could do it, but you did. You're doing it; you're raising the most amazing child and I have so much respect for you for doing it. I can't even imagine what you've been going through now, with Emily, but I know that you'll get through this. This won't beat you".

She nodded against him, and Mulder was dismayed to find she was crying once more. He pulled her in towards him.

"I'm sorry", she murmured against the crook of his neck.

"Don't apologize Scully. You have nothing to be sorry for".

"I thought I was ok with everything. And then this past week, seeing Emily everywhere I went. I guess I'm not ok".

"You just needed to let it all out. After Emily died you dusted yourself off and carried on, but deep down you just needed to mourn, to get angry".

"I am angry", Scully admitted. "Not just over everything that happened with Emily, although that is a big part of it". She willed herself not to cry again. "Sometimes I wonder just how much more I can take. I mean these people abducted me, they took away my memory for those three months, they killed my sister and gave me cancer, but left me barren. And you Mulder, everything they've put you through…they need to pay for what they've done".

"That's why I carry on fighting", replied Mulder. "Because one day they're going to give me answers and we're going to get the truth, about your abduction, about Melissa, Emily and Samantha. And I'm not going to give up until we have these answers".

"I know you won't". She gave him a watery smile. "That's why I'm here with you. Because I want answers too. Because we both deserve them".

"You know Scully…" He was almost reluctant to continue. "…if you ever want to stop…"

"No", she replied firmly. "I can't say I've never thought about it, especially with Ashley, but I need to do this. My place is here with you. We're in this together". Her words brought a lump to Mulder's throat. He didn't deserve this woman; he knew that. Not after everything he'd put her through, and certainly not after what he had to tell her. Her ova. He still had a vial and he'd been meaning to tell her, but then there was her cancer and Emily and he just hadn't found the right moment. But he needed to tell her.

"Scully", he began, feeling his heart race. She'd be upset, he knew she would be, but she needed to know. "I have something to tell you, I –"

"Mulder?" his partner interrupted, and he frowned. Having finally plucked up the courage to tell her the truth, it appeared she didn't want to hear it. Not today.

"Yeah?"

"Not now, please. Tonight I just want to try and forget about everything".

"Ok", he forced a smile. "Well I have Chinese and selection of mind-numbing DVDs, so I'm sure we can do that".

"Thank you". And before he could reply, Scully jumped down from the counter, their conversation over. For now.

Sorry, I just wanted a chapter where Scully broke down - after everything she's been through lately I think she deserves it.