CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR

LOVE…

"I hear something…"

It was midnight in Delhi. A few guards were stationed near a very rich man's house, doing their job…okay, not really. They'd been playing strip poker.

"A thief, perhaps?" One of them asked.

"Who's there?" A man asked, holding a huge knife up.

A large creature was the source of the sounds. They peeked around the corner and then whistled, getting its attention.

"Huh?"

"What do you think YOU'RE doing?!" The "group leader" demanded to know.

The creature was a large pink dragon. It had two horns curving back from the top of its head on each side. It had golden eyes, sharp claws, and taloned feet. It also had very nice pearly whites and wings that had golden tips. Its claws and talons were made of gold as well, and most interestingly of all…it was quite slender and rather beautiful, even by human standards. It was decidedly sexy-looking.

"So girly, wanna play with a REAL man?" The group leader asked, his hormone levels reaching a dangerous high level.

"Ooh, okay!"

"Ulp!" He shouted as she grabbed him. "Put me doowwwnnn!"

"Helloooo!" She said, moving him back and forth in the air like a doll. "I am Mr. Ha-peee!"

"AAA!"

"Let's go interview the chickens!" She said, walking over to the chicken coop nearby.

"I don't wanna interview no chickens!"

She butted his head against the chicken coop. "Oh Maguffin? Rogerrogerroger? You in there?"

A chicken promptly stuck its head out and grabbed the man's nose with its beak. The dragon dropped the man who ran around in a circle, screaming. "AAA! Get if off me, get it off me!"

"Playing with humans sure is fun!" The dragon laughed. "Hey, you two! Wanna play with the chickens?"

The men promptly ran for it, screaming "It's a monster" over and over.

MUCH LATER, SEVERAL DAYS ACTUALLY…

Most of our loveable group was was still in the process of cleaning up San Fran, so Jade, Hsi, Hao, Drago and his Posse had volunteered to get the next bell piece. It was a good thing too, they all needed SOME good news. Shin was still nowhere to be found, Drew was still despondent over the loss of his friends, and they'd been going to funerals for two weeks now. It was as if nobody in San Fran wanted to really do anything buy mourn and wait for happiness to find them.

Hao led the group down the roads of Delhi, instructing them on what they knew about the bell piece here, where it was, who might be after it, etc.

"Now we've all faced down most of the Lord Demons. There is one left we have not faced in combat at all, the one Nick met, the one Valmont and King said they also saw, the one called "Lucifer". And the leader, the Grand Lord, is in a class all of his own, apparently." Hao informed them.

"Yeah, and we know what Lucifer looks like now. We'll keep an eye out." Drago mumbled.

"Try and take this seriously. And be respectful. India has a rich culture and its traditions are extremely important here." Jade told him.

"Oh, sorry baby doll." Drago responded. Hsi Wu inwardly flinched. Jade blushed.

"Can we keep our minds out of our pants?" Hao asked. "Now listen, there's something you ought to know about Indian mythology. King gave me this paper…" He took it out. "It says that there's supposedly a contact here that can lead us to where the bell piece is. He should be in the house of worship, a "mandira", at the end of the road."

The four of them all continued walking. Each of them had their own thoughts. Drago was thinking about how he would be getting some that night if he played his cards right. Jade was thinking about how she felt like a tigress when she was with Drago. Hsi was thinking about how much he was starting to hate Drago. Hao…

Hao was speaking with his other self. His dragon side.

"You know how the future turns out for Jade."

"…I know."

"Why don't you do something about it?"

"…why should I? She's happy."

"But is it RIGHT?"

"…well…if she's happy, and HE'S happy, then isn't it right?"

"I wish it was that simple. How happy is she now? And how happy was she in the future?"

"…are you suggesting that I-"

"Oh f—k me." Drago complained.

Up ahead in the road, in the only entranceway through leading into the building that they needed to go through…was a crowd surrounding an obstacle. An obstacle that was…a white cow.

"Moooo." Said the cow.

"Oh boy." Jade groaned. "Aren't cows sacred to Hindus?"

"…yes…" Hao groaned. "They won't touch her."

"Then I'LL move the stupid old thing!" Drago snarled, marching towards the cow. Several dozen people saw his intent and immediately stood in his way, glaring at him.

"Hey, out of the way!"

"Sacred cow must not be disturbed!"

"Just let me "help it along" then!" Drago demanded.

"Hold up, hold up. Nick can understand all sorts of languages and he seems to be able to speak with animals." Jade said. "I'll call him up." She reached for her phone and began dialing.

MEANWHILE…

"Hey, how's it going, Paco? Frank?"

Dai Gui and Paco were in school, doing math problems together in the cafeteria. Naturally Dai was in his human form. They were trying to solve them together and failing miserably. VERY miserably.

"So if "e" is…no, no…"

"Divided by the…no…"

"Oh, hi Lily. We're just…doing some, you know, math."

"It looks like you're failing the class, from what I can tell." Lily said. She was kind of slutty for her age, yet also very beautiful. She had raven black hair, long nails, and liked dressing in black and pink, especially in a mini-skirt. She had golden nail polish, a nice touch.

"Yeah, we…uh…we're not too good with this stuff! Physics is tricky…"

"D—N it!" Dai Gui shouted. "What the heck is "Ohm's Law"!?!"

"Ohm's law. A voltage source, V, drives an electric current, I, through resistor, R, the three quantities obeying Ohm's law: V IR." Lily explained.

They both blinked. "THAT'S it?"

"THAT'S Ohm's law?"

"Yep." Lily said, smiling. Now see you guys around! I gotta go do my nails again." She walked off.

"Wow. Lily knows so much…" Paco said admiringly.

"Maybe Dai Gui will actually do well on the quiz now." Dai thought out loud.

Nick and Tchang had been catching up. Nick now knew pretty much everything he needed to know about what was going on down in Hell, and Tchang knew everything that had been going on up above. After all, those down in Hell didn't know of the present, right?

"So this "Lucifer"…he's the second-most enigmatic of the Lord Demons?"

"Yes. I've never heard the Grand Lord mentioned by his normal name. He's the first-most enigmatic. Lucifer, apparently...apparently he is supposed to be incredibly strong."

"And what Snizzi said about true power…it was true?"

"Yes. True power doesn't go away, it's passed on to something or someone else. I would know, the great Thunder wielder Raiden taught me a few tricks…"

"Oh WOW, I've heard of him! No wonder you're so…shockingly-"

"Don't finish that sentence or I'll pour gravy on your toes at night and nibble on them."

"Is that what Shendu's been doing to Jackie?"

"…..maybe." Tchang said mysteriously.

Nick rubbed his chin. Both of them were in the kitchen of the antiques shop, sipping drinks and taking a little break from cleaning duties. In Nick's case, the drink was a root beer, in Tchang's case a sake. The TV was on.

"And that was our latest case of "Attack of the Christmas Critters". Now for the list of Top 25 Worst Sequels of All time."

"Oh boy." Nick groaned. "Don't they have something more important to show? Like the plight of starving children or-"

"Bad Boys II! Caddyshack II! Star Wars Episode 1: The Phantom Menace! Rocky V! Major League II!"

"I've never even HEARD of Major League!" Nick complained.

"Jaws 3-D!"

"Oh, I saw "I love the 80's", they said that movie sucked too…"

"I haven't even SEEN Jaws, but from what I've learned of your culture in my time here…"

"Yeah, Tchang?"

"Anything with the term "3-D" in it is going to stink."

"…usually, yeah…"

"Scary Movie 2!"

"Hey, I LIKED that movie!"

"The Sting II!"

"…there was a sequel?"

"Legally Blonde II! The Next Karate Kid! Battle for the Planet of the Apes! The Exorcist II! Be Cool!"

"Hey, Be Cool starred Uma Thurman! How DARE they, how DARE they!" Nick protested.

"Son of the Mask! The Matrix Revolutions!"

"Everyone's a critic. The series is still great!" Nick insisted.

"Really? What's it about?"

"Well, have you heard about Plato-"

"Superman IV!"

"Ohhh…poor Supes…"

"Speed 2! Weekend at Bernie's II! The Blues Brothers 2000!"

"The oiriginal was amazing!" Nick admitted. "I musta watched it 24 times…"

"Jason X! Staying Alive! Book of Shadows: Blair Witch II! Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry met Lloyd!"

"Saturday Night Fever was great stuff! I should have been born before the 60's, I could have rocked up the disco era…"

"Oh really? What exactly is "disco"?"

"Well, it's one of the few dances that white people look good doing!"

"Ahhhhh...another thing for me to excel in!"

"Basic Instinct II!"

"I don't even know what it's about and I'll bet it has to do with sex." Tchang said off the bat. "What else would a movie title like that be implying?"

"And the worst sequel of all…Batman and Robin!"

"OUCH!" Nick exclaimed. "Poor Bats! Poor Robin…"

"And now for an update on those stranded miners!"

"All right!" Nick said happily. "Are they okay?"

"Wait…this just in! Manbearpig has been sighted in Canada. We go now to the video feed that shows this horrible beast just before he struck at a bunch of campers."

Luckily Nick saw where this was going and shut the TV off. "Damn it! I should stick to watching episodes of JCA on my fancy watch! This is all getting more out of control. How many freaky evil things are leaking out onto the Earth?"

"Most were always there, but were just…well, mellowed out. Except for those Christmas Critters." Tchang admitted.

"…Dude." Nick gaped.

"Wait...did you just say that you could watch shows on your-"

"Uh huh. Besides music, I happen to have all sorts of TV shows on my watch, I can put on Emeril, Jackie Chan Adventures, Malcolm in the Middle, History channel specials on mythological figures, those are my favorites..." Nick said proudly. It was true what they said about boys and their toys!

"Anyhow, that reminds me of some things I heard as a prisoner down in Hell. I heard Leviathan talking to Lillith on one day while the two wenches were guarding me, she said…" He then promptly imitated Leviathan in a bad falsetto. "Oh that Tiamat's such a b—ch, she can't even stick with one idea anymore, first she wanted to wipe them out, now she's all "oh he's so sweet" and then she starts sneaking around at night! Gaaawhh!" Like that."

"Wench? What's a-wait…" Nick blinked. "Tiamat? The Babylonian God of Salt Water and-"

"Feels just like I'm falling for the first tiiime! Yeah it, feels just like I'm falling for the first time!" Nick looked down and saw his cell phone was going off. He picked it up.

"Talk to Nicky!"

"Nick, can YOU talk to a cow?" Jade asked.

"Huh? Oh wait, you're in India, right? Lemme guess…a cow's in your way and you need it to move or something?"

"Yeah. Our contact is supposed to be in a house of worship for Hindus-"

"A "mandira", right?"

"Yep. The entrance to it is blocked by this-HOLY COW!"

"OW!" Nick yelled, pulling away from the cell phone. "Why'd you yell? I can hear you fine! You busted my eardrums or something…"

"No, no, listen, Drago is getting the crap kicked outta him by these Hinduists!"

Nick began laughing incredibly hard.

"It's not FUNNY! Now come on, pull your act together and talk to this cow!"

Jade, back in India, approached the cow. A man stood in her path. "Hold on, you cannot move this-"

"I just want it to speak with someone."

The man looked at her strangely, but stepped back. She held the cell phone up.

"Uh…hello?" Nick asked the cow through the phone.

The cow responded with what SOUNDED like a moo to others, but to Nick, was "Yoooo."

"Uh…I er…don't suppose you could move out of the way so my friends could go inside the building?"

"…nooooope. Sorry."

"Why not?" Nick asked, a bit annoyed.

"I'm comfortable here."

"Now you're just being selfish. Look ya pile of tenderloin, my friends are trying to find all the pieces of the Bell of the Heavens and-"

"Wait…YOU guys are the ones my master wants to contact? Ooh, ooh, I'll go get him!" The cow stood up and trotted inside. "Master, they're here! They're finally here, Lord Krishna!"

"Krishna?"

"Krishna?" Jade asked.

The people all around the place suddenly gasped and fell to their knees.

Drago blinked as he was released. Hsi walked over to him with Hao and they stood by Jade. "Uh…who's this Krishna?" Hao asked.

"That would be me." A decidedly handsome voice remarked as he stepped out of the doorway. Jade and the others gasped.

"Oh my God…is that Krishna?" Tchang Zu stated from the other end. "I've heard of him…he's an Indian LEGEND, he's a GOD!...even though he doesn't have the thundering might that I do. He's sort of a pacifist…"

"Stop insulting important religious figures." Nick said.

Krishna was decidedly Indian in facial appearance, and very handsome. He had a smooth nose and tight buttocks and delicate-looking skin that was blue in color. He had black hair that was tied into a stylish ponytail and wore pants with reflective ring-mirrors embedded on them. He had a red belt and had a flute in one hand. He bowed respectfully.

"I am Krishna. Avatar of the Supreme Being, Vishnu. You are the ones I have been waiting for."

Jade gulped. "R-really?" She felt pretty nervous being around a god. I mean, even SHE had heard of him.

"Yes. Come inside. There is much we have to talk about…and I've made tea…and hot chocolate."

"I've got lots of milk if you need it." The cow mooed. Nick translated it for them.

"Keep me on the line, I GOTTA hear this." Nick insisted. "Er…and uh…I can pay for the extra minutes, I think…"

"Don't worry. I've got rollover minutes and I signed up with the unlimited calls for $24.95 plan with-"

Taking Jade by her other hand before she could finish a blatant product placement, Krishna led them inside the mandira and they were treated to a very large area with pillows all around. Several boiling pots were in the center, along with some lamps on each side. There were some canteens littered here and there.

"That one is green tea, that's the hot chocolate, that's some soup I made myself…it relaxes your chi very nicely." Krishna explained as they all took a pillow.

"Uh, I'll take some hot chocolate." Jade asked.

Krishna nodded and began to play his flute. A cup by her pillow flew up slowly to hand level. Then it went over to the pot of hot chocolate and dipped in, filling up. It then gently sailed back to her, and she took it.

Jade sipped the hot beverage that had been offered to her and let out an "mmm" as it went down her throat. "Ooh, it's so creamy and smooth."

Krishna nodded. "I am happy to delight. Now then, to business. The bell piece as it were, is currently in the hands of a certain individual…or rather, in TWO certain individuals. I do not know either of their names, only that they are in league with each other and that they live together. I know this from the witnesses that have seen them."

"People have SEEN the people that took the bell piece?"

"Dragons took it, not people. And one of them apparently likes fooling around and playing with whatever humans she can find when she's stealing jewels and gold from the rich people around here." Krishna said in a calm fashion.

"Stealing gold is pretty standard hording-wait, what? PLAYING?!" Hao asked.

"She's made about 5 people "Interview the chickens", pretended about 8 of them were dolls, made several of them do dances by breathing fire near them and…well…tickled about 9 people."

"Tickled? TICKLED? A DRAGON did this?" Drago asked, completely shocked…and feeling a bit embarrassed to be a member of the dragon family.

"That's what the witnesses have told me." Krishna said. "I've managed to keep this secret because I wanted to deal with it myself, and so nobody's told any government representatives. If THEY tried anything, we would be in trouble. They simply have so little patience!"

Hsi spoke up. "So where would we be able to find them?"

"Well, they seem to be attracted to rich people. We're running out of those, but there are about four houses left that have been untouched and…"

"And four of us. So if we ALL stake out a house…" Hao reasoned…

Krishna nodded. "Right. We'll be able to catch them in the act and force them to give us the bell piece."

Drago nodded. "Sounds like a sound plan." He grabbed the canteen and took a swig. Then his eyes went wide and he spat out what he's drunken. "What's IN your moonshine!?!"

"Er, that…was…the lamp oil." Krishna said nervously.

"Bathroom! Good LORD, where's the bathroom!?!" Drago howled.

"So much for our plans tonight." Jade snickered to herself. Hsi began laughing madly as Drago rushed to the bathroom to the right, and a loud retching noise was heard.

"Hold on." Nick said. "If you're going to be staking out a house, you ought to know a few things that I've learned from spy movies and such…"

THAT NIGHT…

A shadow-like sliver of a female form lowered itself to the ground off the roof, binoculars in her hand. She brushed her hair back and looked at the sleek black outfit she was wearing.

"D—n I clean up good! Wish Drago could see me now." She remarked. She reached down to her belt and took her walkie-talkie off, activating it. "Topaz in place."

RULE NUMBER ONE: Use Code Names.

Brushing his hair back, Hao responded on his walkie-talkie, putting his night-vision goggles on with his gloved hands. "Roger. Ready to fly."

RULE NUMBER TWO: Dress for the occasion.

Drago cocked the hammer of his sniper rifle back and slung it over his shoulder as he stood on the roof. He raised his own walkie-talkie. "Locked and loaded. Bring 'em on."

RULE NUMBER THREE: Weapon up.

Hsi flew above his target silently, peering down intently in his full demon form. He raised his own walkie-talkie. "I've got it under lock and key. If someone comes by…I'll see 'em."

RULE NUMBER FOUR: Get a bird's eye view.

Krishna, back in the "HQ" sat in front of a computer with the cow, looking at camera screens. All of the "spies" that were out watching the houses had cameras hidden on them. "Just hold on everyone…they should show up soon."

RULE NUMBER FIVE: Be sure to get walked through it.

"Alright everyone, here's how this goes down." Nick said from the phone. "Once you see them on the cameras and the data's been relayed, I'll be able to check up on them through the internet. I've got everything uplinked to my computer." He sat in front of the computer with Tchang next to him. "If it's one of Hell's hordes…Tchang'll know."

RULE NUMBER SIX: Get some experts.

They all waited patiently. Some time passed. But it seemed like there wasn't anyone coming.

"I'm gonna go take a piss. I'll be right back." Drago reported, walking to the bushes.

"…I am not quite sure what you see in that man." Krishna replied.

"Sometimes I wonder myself." Jade admitted.

Drago was now some distance away from the house he was supposed to be guarding. Dropping his pants, he-

Heard a growl nearby. Which leads us right to…

RULE NUMBER SEVEN: Stick to the plan!

"Oh f-"

Before he could get anything out, he was whacked over the head. He fell to the ground, privates exposed and, worser still, in the middle of peeing.

Krishna banged his head against the keyboard. "D—n it, d—n it, d—n it! I told you all to stick to the plan!"

"Hold on." Jade said. "He's only a few blocks away from me…I'll get him."

BGM: Bitey's Theme, by Spider Stacey and James Welbourne, from "The Yuyu"

Jade put the walkie-talkie away and took in a deep breath.

A form stood over the now unconscious and no-longer-peeing Drago, a big pearly white smile showing in the darkness. It regarded him for a few moments then reached down slowly…

Meanwhile, the wind blew around Jade as she stared out into the night in the direction Drago's house was. She saw the roof across from her…

She leapt across it, landing deftly, and sprinted across it, panting and heaving as she ran and the wind continued to whip her hair back.

Another jump. She bent her knees and barreled through the air, twirling as she landed, then sprinted across the roof again.

Drago was being unceremoniously dragged through the forest by the form as it continued to grin and hum to itself.

Meanwhile, Jade had finally reached the house. She jumped down into a tree and then leapt off a branch to the ground below and saw where Drago had been. Taking a deep breath, she then bolted after the track marks.

A river appeared in her path. She leapt over it, rushing through brush and past trees to finally see…

A forest trail…and a form was at the end of it, lifting Drago up onto its shoulder. It turned around and saw her, and its eyes widened. It then bolted.

She gave chase.

She felt as if her lungs would burst, but she ran, leaves and tree branches tearing at her face. But she would not give up. She sprinted hard after the running form, following the path it was taking and finally reaching the end of the path…an large cave greeted her sight in the distance, with the kidnapper taking Drago inside.

She rushed to the cave, shouting out that she had found him and was going in to her walkie-talkie. She roared and rushed inside, leaping, reaching for her boyfriend's hand as it stretched out to her.

And suddenly a tail struck her hard on the head…

And she remembered…nothing more.

(End music)

ELSEWHERE…

"Alright, remind me again what we're doin' here…"

Strikemaster Ice, MC Fist and DJ Cobra were with Krishna…or rather, were doing some cleaning in Krishna's mandira. Specifically, the bathroom that Drago had been puking in.

"This s—t is disgusting." Strikemaster Ice went on. He was on his knees, scrubbing the floor. MC Fist was scrubbing the sink and DJ Cobra was having some problems pulling out the plunger from the toilet…it was stuck in deep.

"I mean, we oughta be doin' more important stuff than-" He began to complain.

Then Krishna burst into the bathroom. "Your leader has been captured! We need to GO. NOW!" He yelled.

"Say whaaaa?" Strikemaster Ice exclaimed. "Big D's gone?"

"They caught him!?!" DJ Cobra gasped. "We gotta go get 'em!"

"Hold it." MC Fist said. He stood up and towered over them. They all looked at him. "We need to know for SURE where he is."

They all blinked. It was true…they didn't know where Drago had been taken. Krishna spoke up. "Jade followed after him, we should try and follow her tracks…"

"We'd get lost though…" Strikemaster Ice said. "I mean, she was FLYIN' after him, wasn't she?"

"Yes, yes…" Krishna admitted. "It would have been helpful if…"

"I put a tracker on them." MC Fist said, pulling out a small locater computer.

They all stared at him. "…"

"…"

"…"

"…wha-WHAAAA?"

"What? Don'tcha know?"

RULE NUMBER EIGHT: Always be prepared!

"What's the tracking computer say?" Krishna asked. "I'm…not so good with handheld things…"

Elsewhere…

"Hear me now, oh you bleak and unbearable world, thou art base and as low as can beee! And a knight…with his banner all bravely unfurled…now hurls down his gauntlet to theeee! I am I, Don Quixote, the Lord of La Mancha, Defeater of Evil am IIII…and I march to the roar of the great winds of glory…forever to conquer or die!"

"Uncle is trying to SLEEEEEEP!"

Jackie had put on his favorite CD and was cleaning the antiques shop. He was now lost in the song, and was sweeping around, waving the broom around like a lance as he pranced around the room.

Meanwhile, up in Heaven, Raphael put on his armor, and pulled some hair back from his gaze. He looked at the mirror and nodded, then grabbed his mighty spear from nearby.

"Hear me heathens and wizards and serpents of sin, now your dastardly doings are past! For a hoooly endeavor is now to begin…and virtue shall triumph at laaaast!"

He then flew forth over the skies, barreling past his fellow brothers who looked at him strangely. What the?

"I am I, Don Quixote, the Lord of La Mancha, a name all the world soon shall knoooow! And the hard winds of Fortune shall carry me onward…wherever, wherever they blow!"

"Onward to glory I go!" Nick sang out on the rooftop as Jackie sang inside.

"I am I, Don Quixote, the Lord of La Mancha...a name all the world soon shall know!" He bellowed out passionately.

"And the hard winds of Fortune shall carry me onward…" Jackie sang.

"Wherever, wherever they blow!" Raphael proclaimed.

"Wherever…"

"They…"

"Blow…"

"ONWARD TO GLORY I GOOOO!"

"Nephew has lousy singing voice! ONE MORE THING! Uncle now needs tea to sleep! ONE MORE THING! You are going to be making the tea! ONE MORE THING!..."

ELSEWHERE…

"…….."

"………!"

"…..no…YOU..."

"No…I…YOU…!"

"No I love YOU more!"

Jade and Drago awoke to the sound of a couple doing some lovely-dovey bickering inside of a HUGE cave that was filled from top to bottom with glorious-looking artwork, piles of cash and gold, treasures that belonged in "Arabian Nights" and…ooh, a wine cellar…classy! The lady they saw was a thin, sexy-looking pink dragon and her apparent lover was a serpent with large, imposing wings. He had a smooth black body and a fiery underbelly, with flame for hair as it rolled down from the top of his head and down his neck. Both looked quite strong and formidable.

Jade was actually tied up to Drago with strange, pulsing purple bonds, magic in nature. Jade was surprised that Drago was so worried, he wouldn't stop shaking. They'd been in worse situations than THIS, why the pants-wetting panicky look?

"What are you doing freaking out?" She asked.

"That-that big-big sn-sn-snake, that…that thing, that's…"

"That's WHO?"

"That's one of the biggest threats to the entire WORLD!" He shouted. "From what Dad told me, he could devour everything and everyone in it in no time at all…and that-that dragon with him is one of the strongest dragons around, Dad…Dad once tried to get her on his side and she almost KILLED him!"

"Wow, how long did he rule for?"

"Longer than the Immortals wanted, and he got things done pretty quickly since he was able to manipulate his followers into doing most of the gruntwork while he was off trying to gain magical allies…"

"Oh, so you ARE Shendu's kid. Yeah, he approached me about…oh, I think 3 months before he got turned into a statue. I remember because when I heard it, I made a resolution to go and dance on his palace's ruins every anniversary, he was such a SLEAZEBALL." The dragoness said. Her scales shimmered lightly, like the surface of a pink bubblegum balloon. "Nice to meetcha. I'm Tiamat."

"Tia…mat…" Jade gaped. "Oh WOW, you are like, one of my FAVE mythological characters!"

"Thanks." Tiamat said, smiling in a broad fashion. "You're Jade Chan, aren't you? I recognize you, I saw you talking with Krishna earlier."

Jade blinked. "You've been spying on us?"

"Yeah, yeah." The dragoness waved her hand dismissively. "Me and my baby here have a very happy lifestyle here."

"It's kind of alternative, but it's very preferable to what we had before, always living in fear and struggling to sssssurvive." The serpent told them. He had a voice that made Jade think of a roaring fire that was itching to grow louder if she'd only step closer. He hissed in laughter, and she pictured sparks flying into the night sky. "Excuse the "ssss" effect. I like to do it simply because it makes my prey cringe."

"You can't go stealing things from people-" Jade began. But then Drago interrupted her.

"Look, we just want the bell piece, okay? Can we just grab it and go? Then you can go back to having hot sex on top of your bed of stolen goods."

Tiatmat "harrumphed". "Don't you talk about our burning, passionate love for each other like that! It's more than just about stealing! If it was just about getting nice things to lie on or count or use to buy even nicer things, then we'd move somewhere else. But we happen to like it out here…it's quiet, peaceful, and more importantly, we can flaunt ourselves."

"…what?" Jade asked.

The serpent broke free from his love's embrace and towered above them. "Do you know…who I am?" He asked Drago.

"F-F-Falak…" Drago mumbled. "The Omnipotent…who…only fears God…"

"Exactly. Ssssstupid Allah." He spat out the last word like it was a curse on the world. "For eons I have lived in fear of him. I couldn't do ANYTHING I wanted!" He now wrapped around them, careful not to crush them, but just to scare them…and scare them he did. Jade gulped in fear. "Imagine my life, if you can. He could strike me down at any moment…I did not DARE indulge in any pleasures…did not DARE to fulfill my heart's desires…did not DARE to ever achieve any of my dreams!"

He shook his head back and forth, looking very emotional. He squeezed them tighter, and Jade began to feel the heat rise in her. It was so hot…his scaly body was increasing their temperature, BOILING them! Drago was sweating like a madman…PU, he was stinky!

"But then…then the Lord fell silent…then when I went out to finally feast upon the flesh of man, and then…I met Tiamat…here, in India, in Delphi. She'd traveled far away from her home to find a new place to sssstart, and when we saw each other…I felt my heart ignite and begin to burn as bright as a star. Oh, how I adore being with her…"

"My burning baby…my red-hot Romeo…my fiery-"

"WE GET IT!" Drago shouted.

"HEY!" Falak snarled, hissing evilly and leaning in close to his head. Flame oozed out from the folds of his fangs as he opened his mouth slowly in front of the junior sorcerer's handsome human face. "Do NOT insult my dear dragonessssss darling's honor…"

"Honor? What honor is there in stealing?" Jade asked. "Leave MY boyfriend alone!"

Falak blinked and swung his head towards her. "He is…your love?"

"Yes." She said simply, truthfully. "It's set in stone, made to be."

Falak blinked slowly, surely. "How…touching…" He remarked. Then he unwound himself from them and looked down upon them with a gentle gaze. "I know what it means to love. If Allah had not gone…I would never know. So…I shall spare your livesssss."

He slithered back to Tiamat, who held up a bottle of champagne. "Want some? It's very good, I scored some that was made during the year of the comet-oh, you can't drink it if you're tied up. Hold on." She held out a clawed hand and began speaking. "I break you free from the bonds of fate…"

The bonds turned to ash, dribbling onto the ground. Drago and Jade stood up and dusted themselves off. "Now then, would you like some champagne, kiddies?" Tiamat asked again.

"Wait…can we have the bell piece?" Jade asked. "We need it for world peace and stuff!"

"Sure." Tiamat said. "It's just one piece of gol-"

"No. Don't give them anything." Falak said sternly.

Drago looked surprised. "Uh, why not?" He asked.

"It's sssssimple. If we actually GIVE you it, you are going to use it to put the Bell of the Heavens together. We both know what it does…we can't give the piece to you. So just leave with your lives and be grateful." Falak said.

"Now hold on, just what DOES the bell do?" Jade demanded to know. "What's wrong with wanting to put something broken back together?!"

"Do you not KNOW!?!" Falak roared at them, sending them flying back a few steps. The temperature of the immense cave they were in instantly flared up. "The Bell of the Heavens is the physical tie that allows the Metatron to exist and to sssspeak the Word of God! The Bell of the Heavens is the only thing that allows the Voice of God to be heard, it practically IS the Voice of God! Since it was moved it has prohibited God from speaking what He wishes to be done, but it is not simply that…God chooses to act through others, He never intervenes directly…not anymore. He swore not to! Therefore, since he cannot speak His Will to others, He can do NOTHING, NOTHING to sssstop me from fulfilling my dreams! Tiamat and I shall marry…and we will rule over this country!"

Jade gasped. So THAT was why the Bell was so special.

"Your attempts to help the world are all well and good, but I can NOT allow you to take this bell piece. Leave now before my mind issss changed." Falak growled furiously. "I will NOT…NOT live in fear anymore!"

"JADE!" Hsi Wu shouted.

There, at the front entrance, was Hsi Wu with Krishna, the Posse and Hao. Hao had a large sword in his hands. "Time for some good-old-fashioned vigilante justice." He said in a frighteningly chilling tone.

"Don't you hurt her!" Hsi shouted, rushing forward. They all ran to her and Drago. "We're getting you out of here."

"Awww, but I wanted to share some champagne."

"…I know you!" Hao remarked. "You're Tiamat! Dad told me about you, you really did a number on him!"

"I didn't hit him THAT hard…" Tiamat grumbled. "…did I?"

"Yep. Ya did." Drago admitted.

Krishna shook his head. "Falak, shame on you. Material possessions are only a temporary solution to long-term problems. What good will they do you when the End of Days-"

Falak spat at Krishna, a burst of flame rushing through the air. Krishna batted it down with one hand, looking surprised. The fiery serpent had a look of utter fury on his scaly face. "You have no idea what it was like…" He whispered angrily. "No idea what it feelssss like…living every single day like it's your last…always afraid, always alone…" He lowered his head and closed his eyes, shaking hard. "Surrounded on all sides by those that would destroy you in the name of a "loving god"…what good is it to live if you cannot truly LIVE…what good is living in fear?! What good is living at all if there is nothing or nobody to live for? I had to live just to survive for so…for so long…"

He looked up, eyes blazing with fury. "I. Will. Not. Go. Back. Never again." He roared. "NEVER AGAIN!"

BGM: Barracuda, as sung by Fergie

Suddenly someone began to rock out. They all turned and saw Tiamat on an electric guitar, jamming away. (Where had she gotten THAT?!?) "Go ahead baby!" She said. "I gotcha back! Hit a knock-out punch with this heartfelt song! It's my favorite!"

Falak grinned, and flame dripped down from his mouth as he did so. "Alriiiiight!"

So this ain't the end, I saw you agaaaiiiin…

Today…I had to turn my heart away!
Smile like the sun, kisses for reeaaaaalll…
and tails, it never fails!

Falak belched fire at them all while twisting his tail and lashing it at Drago, who leapt over it and transformed into his half-dragon form, launching his own fire at him. Krishna played on his flute, summoning a shield around our heroes.

You're lying so low in the weeds…
and I bet you're gonna ambush me!
You had me down, down, down, down on my knees…
now wouldn'tcha? Barracuda! Ohh!

Jade ran across the wall and then kicked off of it, whizzing through the air and striking Falak on the side of his face. He growled and tried to bite her, but she flipped back. When he rushed forward, Drago managed to grab his tail.

Back over time we were all trying…for free!
you met the porpoise and me! Ahh
no right, no wrong, selling a soooong!

A naaa-aaaaame…whisper game!

He twirled him around and around and around and SLAMMED him into the ground while his posse whipped out guns and emptied them at Falak…but they burnt up in midair just before hitting him! Growling furiously, the serpent rose…

And if the real thing don't do the trick
you better make up something quick!
you're gonna burn, burn, burn, burn, burn to the wick…
Ohh, barracuda! Oh YEAH!

He spread his wings out and flapped hard, breathing flame. It formed into a spinning cyclone of fire and torched the air around them, barely missing their flesh. Then he slammed his tail into them all, sending them flying back. Only Jade, Drago and Hsi were still able to keep standing.

"Sell me, sell you", the porpoise said,
dive down, deep down and save my head, you…
I think you got the bluuues too!
All that night and all the next,
swam without looking back…
made out for western pools, silly, silly fools!

Hsi took to the air, grabbing a stalactite. He rushed towards Falak and began whacking him…or at least TRYING to. All he really did was swing and miss, Falak was too fast. But it WAS a good distraction, because Jade and Drago had snuck behind the serpent and had now grabbed his tail. He let out a "woop" as they pulled.

And if the real thing don't do the trick
you better make up something quick!
you're gonna burn, burn, burn, burn, burn to the wick…
Ohh, barracuda! Oh YEAH!

They twirled him around and around and around and then finally let him go. He collided with the wall and slid down it, coughing madly.

(Music ends.)

Tiamat shrieked and ran over to him, dropping the guitar. As Drago advanced, her eyes blazed angrily and she thrust her hand forward.

"When above the sky had not yet formed, and when below the ground had not taken shape!" She shouted. The earth beneath him crumbled into a slushy substance and he began sinking in it. Jade ran over to him and began pulling hard on his arm to tug him out.

"RRR! Hold on, babe!" She shouted. "I'm not letting that pretty face you have get crushed!"

"Here…" Hsi said, grabbing Drago's other, flailing arm. "Lemme help too!"

The two yanked him free and they all landed on their butts on the ground. They looked at each other for a little while, then began laughing madly. They'd won. They'd survived.

"…just leave us alone." Tiamat said sadly. "Leave me be with my baby."

"We just want the bell piece." Hao insisted. "Hand it over."

"…I…can't…I don't want my baby to live in fear again…" She said.

"Then you shouldn't do things that you think will make any higher power punish you. And if you do, you should ask for forgiveness." Jade said. "It's basic stuff. EVERYONE screws up sometimes, EVERYONE indulges. You just shouldn't overdo it, and when you do, you just need to want to be forgiven."

Tiamat blinked. "I know that, but Falak…he's an old-fashioned believer…he's known only a vengeful God…"

"Then maybe it's time you showed him there can be other things to believe in." Jade said.

"Like love." Drago said, holding onto Jade's hand.

"And true friendship." Hsi added happily.

"And the bonds that we forge through strife." MC Fist agreed.

"And justice." Hao said finally. "Merciful justice."

Tiamat held Falak's head in her lap as he snoozed gently. "…I'll try…" She said, smiling gently. "I'll try. Here you go." She removed something from a little pouch she was wearing and tossed it to them…the bell piece. "You deserve it."

Jade caught it and smiled back. "Good luck."

"Make the magic last." A voice rang out from the front of the cave. They all turned and saw…

"Nick!?!"

"Hi guys!" Nick said. "New "teleportation technique" I was trying. You know, focus my body's ki to a certain point and then project myself there, that whole DBZ thing!"

"Well it worked pretty well!" Hsi complimented.

"…not really, I was trying to go to Cutt's the Butcher's. Still, I'm glad you're all okay. Let's all head home after we pick up some Indian food!"

"Oh, here, take this bottle of Champagne." Tiamat added, holding up the bottle from before.

As they all walked back to town, Drago laughed happily as he held Jade's hand in his own and the wind blew her black hair back gently.

"I love you so much."

"I love you too." She told him right back.

BGM: Where We Gonna Go From Here, by Mat Kearney

All your ways and all your thunder…
Got me in a haze running for cover…
Where we gonna go from here?
Where we gonna…go…from…here?

But then she realized…she…she really didn't. Not the way he did.

Car lights in the driveway,
I wonder who's going coming my way,
Tomorrow we're turning down the highway,
With another bright stage on a weekday!

Jade Chan found herself being led back to town, then soon, back to the airport while in a daze of crystallization. She understood.

Green grass and a radio…
Watching it fly past and away we go!
Seven hundred places…seven hundred faces more…

She didn't really love him in the way couples should love each other. She didn't feel that special…that special thing that made love what it was…

All your ways and all your thunder…
Got me in a haze running for cover…
Where we gonna go from here?
Where we gonna…go…from…here?

It was a physical relationship really…at least for her. She had fallen for his body…not for him. Not really. He was hot and pretty sweet, but…but she didn't have strong feelings. Not like he did.

The back of your eyes look like my mother's…
When we talk you're like my brother,
Where we gonna go from here?
Where we gonna go…from…here?

It was as simple as could be. She had really fallen for him for his body and was convinced by the sight of the future that she was always meant to be his sweetheart…but right there, right now, she realized as he pulled her close and laid his head on her shoulder in the plane seat…

She didn't love him…

Time is moving on our side,
How could I miss you…to another guy,
Pull of the ocean and the roaring tide,
Is bigger than my eyes…or my design…

"You alright?" Nick asked from across her. "You look…kind of hurt inside." He said softly.

Father got a best plan,
Saving his daughter for the best man,
Seven hundred places…seven hundred faces more…

"…I'll be okay." She told him. God, he was such a good friend.

All your ways and all your thunder…
Got me in a haze running for cover…
Where we gonna go from here?
Where we gonna…go…from…here?

"We'll be home soon enough." Hsi told her. "You should get some sleep. Your boyfriend's got the right idea."

The back of your eyes look like my mother's…
When we talk you're like my brother,
Where we gonna go from here?
Where we gonna go…from…here?

But he wasn't her boyfriend…only in the future was it supposed to happen. And was it even MEANT to be?

I've waited and I'll wait some more,
Won't see me knocking…on another door,
But all this is crazy and amazing,
There's only one half of us…that I'm saving…

"…yeah. Good idea." Was her tired reply. And she found herself drifting into unconsciousness.

So I'm praying just to let it go,
Watch from a distance just to see you glow,
Seven hundred places…seven hundred faces more!

All your ways and all your thunder…
Got me in a haze running for cover…
Where we gonna go from here?
Where we gonna…go…from…here?

Nick watched her quietly. He had seen, for the briefest of moments, an epiphany. He looked down at the watch on his wrist, and the song it was softly playing, confirming what he thought.

The back of your eyes look like my mother's…
When we talk you're like my brother,
Where we gonna go from here?
Where we gonna go…from…here?

"…Oh, Jade." He said sadly, softly.

She doesn't know what she's going to do…who she belongs with…and what's going to happen.

She doesn't have strong feelings for Drago and maybe she never truly will…

I wish I could tell her to cheer up. But…something inside tells me she needs to find the answers herself.

I just hope I can be there when she does…

All I really do know is that she WILL find them…

I know you will…