Mai on... Jeong Jakku!

"Among the various mysteries surrounding the Order of the White Lotus is the nature of its members' supposedly exciting adventures, especially the nature any team-ups. One of the more darkly amusing examples of such pairings is a speculatory partnership between Pakku the Waterbending Master and Jeong-Jeong the ornery deserter.

"Jeong-Jeong and Pakku have both lived long and eventful lives over the course of which they mastered their respective bending elements in environments strangled by war but honestly their histories are the least entertaining things about them so I'm going to just try and breeze HM I JUST REALIZED THAT MIGHT BE A FORGOTTEN CULTURAL ALLUSION TO AIRBENDERS through them as fast as possible. OKAY GO Pakku grew up in the Northern Water Tribe where women are treated as unusually loud and whiny home appliances but Pakku had the misfortune to wind up betrothed to the Tribe's first natural Feminazi who turned out not be especially successful at reforming society WELL COLOR ME SHOCKED I THINK IT'S A SHADE OF PURPLE and so she ran away to see the world and in doing so left Pakku behind to curse the existence of all women and devote himself to his Waterbending which he was actually pretty successful at OOH TAKE THAT GRAN-GRAN and over the course of his sad lonely life he became the Tribe's most influential Master and teacher and baker and that's why everyone put up with his sarcasm and misogynistic snark.

"Jeong-Jeong was a big time military guy NO I DON'T KNOW THE RANK HE NEVER SAID AND ZUKO IS TOO EMBARRASSED TO ASK AND THE AVATAR'S GROUP ALL GIVE CONFLICTING GUESSES who was a really good Firebender but perhaps spent too much time in the sun thinking about the nature of arson and was disgusted by his own ability to shoot fireballs from his fingers and so became a Reformed Firebender who advocated restraint and the burning of as few people as possible which didn't go over very well in a time of war and so he was encouraged to retire but because even a Reformed Firebender can't stop being a Firebender he went a little insane THINK SOMETHING ALONG THE LINES OF A REFORMED DRUNK RUNNING A BAR and ran away into the nearest woods and stopped cutting his hair and started up a terrorist campaign against the Fire Nation military while ranting to everyone who would listen about the evil nature of butane lighters and his own self-loathing not for the war crimes he committed but purely for his power to burn a leaf with his breathe.

"At some point both old codgers joined up with the Order of the White Lotus but I'll be a Water Tribe housewife if I can tell you anything about how it happened for them or what in general OR ADMIRAL DEPENDING ON YOUR SOURCE is involved in joining a secret international club of board-game enthusiasts who also happen to be walking Persons of Mass Destruction but somehow I don't think they send out recruitment postcards in the mail BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN I DON'T CHECK THE MAIL-COOP EVERYDAY JUST TO BE SURE so Pakku and Double-J were probably inducted by existing members who somehow thought they were interested in philosophical questions and amusing tile games and so had to be several flavors of insane themselves. Pakku probably just used his memberships for discounts on car insurance and hotels and Jeong-Jeong probably had no idea what he signed up for and burnt the newsletters that came every month 'OH THE EVILNESS THAT RESIDES IN ME I BURNT THE MAIL WITH CONSUMING FLAME!' because he didn't recognize them. If we want to assume however that the two were actual participants in the Order of the Old Lotus we can suppose that they maybe met up with each other and maybe had some fun adventures by which I mean they hung out and nearly killed each other. I can see them running around the Earth Kingdom arguing about whether women should be allowed to throw things at soldiers attacking their homes or how many drinks is okay the night before a raid and whether panty raids really contribute to the war effort FOR THE RECORD THAT'S A 'NO' and also debate the mechanics of blocking fireballs with rain versus firewalls HOW DOES FIRE BLOCK FIRE ANYWAY and the sound of their aggressive conversing probably would tip off every enemy soldier with ears.

"Jeong-Jeong strikes me as willing to visit the Water Tribes PAKKU PROBABLY GETS GRUMPY WHENEVER HE'S OUT AFTER HIS SCHEDULED BED TIME AND FREAKS IF HE CAN'T DO THE LAUNDRY ON MONDAYS and could presumably use his Lotus Membership Card to arrange passage without any uncomfortable situations at Customs but I doubt he would have been interested in learning from Pakku. JJ mainly expressed interest in the healing powers of Waterbending 'BUT CAN IT HEAL MY BURNING SOUL?!?' HEE HEE THIS IS FUN but KK was adamant that only men got to kick butt and only women got to heal cuts NEEDLESS TO SAY I'M PROUD TO BE A LIVING INVERSION OF THIS BARBARIC LIFESTYLE so Jeong-Jeong would have had to lurk around the Healing Huts while Pakku followed him making fun of his gender-identification issues and then Jeong-Jeong would get madder and madder until he lost control 'CURSE THIS CURSED DESTRUCTIVE POWER THAT I HAVE BEEN CURSED WITH!' THE WORD REPITION IS FUNNY and burnt off the rest of Pakku's stringy white hair. On the other hand if Pakku ever had the urge to go looking for his long lost Kanna HERE'S A HINT BUDDY CHECK OUT THE IGLOOS WHERE THE SOUTH TRIBE LOCK THEIR BREEDERS he might have visited Jeong-Jeong and asked for directions but Jeong-Jeong would have been completely unhelpful and said something like 'Directions what does a Tribal know of directions if a fish lives all its life in an aquarium can he tell me how to get to Sesame Street' and Pakku would probably just wander off eventually while Jeong-Jeong practiced his breathing. I like to think that the two had adjacent tents when the White Lotus Club was preparing to attack Ba Sing Se and they were constantly running into each other and Jeong-Jeong would get to ranting that Pakku didn't appreciate his Waterbending gift enough and Pakku would comment on the strange smells he detected whenever he was downwind of his buddy the reluctant Firebender.

"Why do I get the feeling that both Jeong-Jeong and Pakku would be much better adjusted if they hung out with more women?"