Chapter 45: Numb
The world seemed particularly dark that morning. Gabriella watched the landscape zoom past her faster until it all became a blur. She had never cried so hard. She had never been so terrified or felt so isolated in her life. Her mother maneuvered the car round as they turned up to their driveway. She parked up and the engine slowly died.
Did he die a slow death?
As she stepped out of the car and slammed the door shut behind her, her mind flashed back to the police station. The two inspectors had questioned her over and over again. She had been completely hung-over and so they had bought her some coffee. One of them had placed the polystyrene cup in front of her and watched her as she tried to take a sip.
She had been so cold and so terrified. Her hands shook and her entire body shuddered as gut-wrenching sobs escaped her throat. The entire experience had been so surreal that it almost hadn't felt real. As they had fired question after question at her; she had struggled to recall the exact events of the night before. Her memory was a blur. She could bring to mind distant, hazy memories of the two of them laughing… Troy's locker being covered with graffiti... the shatter of glass as Nathan's hand shot through a car window... the smell of his hair... and finally: the litter of beer cans on the floor.
After the intensive inquiry; they finally let Mrs. Montez into the room. Her mother had rushed into the room with open arms and hugged the fragile figure that was her daughter to her chest. After hours of waiting around and filling out forms; they were eventually told that a toxicology report revealed an extensive amount of alcohol in his system. The conclusion was that he had been extremely drunk and therefore stumbled out of the car and lost his footing on the cliff. It was a tragedy but Gabriella should be thankful that she was alive. She should be glad that Nathan had had the sense to pull over when he did.
She should be glad. All she wanted to be was dead. What if he had been calling to her for help? She kept imagining him lying there in the darkness, all alone… slipping away.
Her mother took her by the hand, never saying a word, and led her daughter out of the police station. As they passed the reception, they saw one of the inspectors leading a man in a suit and a tired looking blonde woman into a room. Both of them were holding onto one another and the woman was holding back sobs. A pained expression crossed Gabriella's face but she kept on walking.
Now she was home, she didn't know what to do with herself. She couldn't cry anymore. She had dried up her well of tears and every limb in her body felt numb.
She could still smell him on her.
Her mother had just hugged her and told her she loved her. She had continuously thanked God Gabriella was alright.
"You want me to make you something to eat?" Her mother asked as they entered the house with a concerned tone.
Gabriella shook her head and headed for the stairs.
Maybe if she went back to sleep, maybe… just maybe, she would wake up to yesterday again and then she could change everything. She wished she had power over her life. She wished she could be in control of events… just for once.
