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Chapter 52
Moving Forward and Mending Broken Fences
Peyton and Jake sat in the lounge room at the hospital waiting for her parents to finish speaking with Haley's doctors. They were giving them instructions for Haley's homecare and providing the James' with all of the medication that Haley would need to heal properly.
"You ready to have her back?" Jake asked.
"More than anything," Peyton smiled. "I'm still worried though."
"Why babe?" he asked.
"She's so sad Jake. I don't think she has talked to Nathan since the other day. She doesn't even know how he feels, that he's in love with her."
"He'll tell her Peyt. I mean they love each other too much to give up. It'll be ok, you'll see."
"I hope," she said. "I just hate the way things are between all of us. I want my sister better, I want my best friend back.
"I can help you with one of those things," Brooke said startling Peyton as she stood a few feet away watching her friend.
"I'll leave you two alone," Jake said standing. He knew how much it was killing Peyton that she and Brooke were on the outs. He figured the least he could do was give them a moment to try and work things out with each other. Kissing Peyton he took off towards the cafeteria, giving Brooke's arm a squeeze before disappearing down the hall.
"I'm so happy that you are here," Peyton said sincerely. She needed Brooke. She hated how things were so distant between them in the last couple of days. "I missed you."
"I missed you too," Brooke admitted nervously. "These last days without you have been so hard for me."
"Yeah, you think we could fix things. Maybe forget everything and be best friends again?" Peyton asked.
"I think we can if we try," Brooke said taking a seat next to her. "I blamed you Peyt because I was angry. I was angry at myself, I was angry at Nathan and Haley. All my frustrations were unfairly thrust upon you because you were there. I never expected for you to choose between Haley and I. Truth is I know exactly who you would choose."
"Brooke…"
"NO, it's the truth. I'm your best friend, but she's your sister. I wouldn't expect anything less than you being there for her completely. My pain just didn't allow me to see that. Never in a million years would I have thought Haley would hurt me. I'm so mad at her, but then there is this side of me that feels really guilty about that. Here she was lying in a hospital fighting for her life and I'm pissed. I couldn't see past anything but what I felt at the moment," Brooke said her emotions getting the best of her as a few tears fell. Peyton covered her hands squeezing them imploring her to continue.
"Does that make me a horrible person?"
"No sweetie, it makes you human. I know you would never wish harm on Haley."
"I wouldn't," Brooke whimpered.
"I know. There has just been so much pain and heartache. I think it's time for us all to move past it. I don't like things the way they are. I want my sister and my best friend back. I don't want to have to choose, I love you both."
"I love you too," Brooke said as Peyton wrapped her arms around her hugging Brooke tightly.
"We're going to be just fine Brooke…all of us," she said thinking about her sister and friends. "Are you going to be ok with it?" Peyton asked pulling away to look in Brooke's eyes.
"Ok with what Peyt?" Brooke asked.
"Nathan and Haley," she said. "I know it will be hard for you, but I think its real, honey. She loves him, and from what I can see he loves her too."
"I think I can be ok with it eventually, just not now. It's too much to expect so soon. I mean I'm not in love with Nathan anymore... but I just need time."
"You can have all the time you need, you're entitled."
"I'm sure they're happy," Brooke said with a slight smile. "She must have been over the moon after he confessed that he loved her, I was."
Peyton looked sadly into her friends eyes, sad that she lost Nathan, sad that Haley did not know of Nathan's love, just all around sad.
"What?" Brooke asked seeing the expression on Peyton's face. "What's the matter?"
"She doesn't know Brooke. She doesn't know any of it, she doesn't know about the breakup, she has no clue you know about everything. She pushed Nathan out the door before he ever got the chance to tell her. She doesn't even know he loves her," Peyton said.
"Why didn't you tell her?" she asked.
"I don't know," Peyton admitted. "I just thought hearing those words for the first time….they should come from Nathan. He needs to be the one who tells her."
"You think he'll tell her?"
"I can pretty much guarantee it, you should see the way he looks at her," Peyton slightly chuckled but immediately stopped her laughter seeing Brooke's face. She didn't mean to put her through that so soon. "Sorry," she apologized.
"It's ok," Brooke promised. "I need to get used to seeing and hearing about them together. I have to move on, and that means making peace with everything.
"Honey?" Mr. James called interrupting the friends. Peyton lifted her eyes to see her parents and Haley sitting in her mandatory wheelchair waiting patiently. "We need to get your sister home, she needs her rest. You're welcome to come with us Brooke," he offered.
Brooke's eyes locked on Haley's for the first since the truth had come out. She didn't know how she was supposed to feel or how to act in Haley's presence anymore.
"Thanks," Brooke said almost in a whisper.
"Hales, you ok in that thing?" Peyton asked knowing her sister hated feeling helpless.
"Yeah, it's not so bad. It's like having your very own limo service," Haley joked.
"We should get going dear," Mrs. James said. Peyton stood holding into Brooke's hand almost pleadingly wanting her to come along with them.
"Guys?" Haley said getting everyone's attention. "Do you think you could leave me here alone for a minute…with Brooke?"
Peyton's eyes did a mad dash between her sister and Brooke worriedly knowing things could get ugly if they allowed it to.
"I don't think that's a good idea sweetie," Mr. James said. "You need to be in bed as soon as possible."
"I agree," Peyton said trying to prolong any conversation with Haley and Brooke for as long as possible.
"Please daddy," Haley begged. "It will just be for a second. By the time you pull the car around I'll be ready."
Jimmy could never say no to his baby girl, looking into her pleading brown eyes he gave in saying that she had just until they retrieved the car. The James' along with Peyton left their side leaving Brooke standing and Haley nervously playing with her fingers neither yet opening their mouth to speak.
"Can I talk to you?" Haley finally asked. Brooke nodded her head taking a seat back in on of the hard waiting room chairs. "I don't know where to start," Haley said.
"How about at the beginning," Brooke said giving her a small smile.
"The beginning," Haley said going through every moment in her mind. As much as she loved Nathan, she didn't want to ruin what he and Brooke shared, so she decided to talk around her time with Nathan and how she had betrayed Brooke. "I'm sorry. I haven't been a good friend to you. I've done some things that I don't really want to go into, but all you need to know is that it doesn't matter. My accident has made me realize something Brooke."
"What's that?" she asked.
"This is how the world should be. I realized that there are only certain people who are lucky enough in this world to be blessed with such a wonderful family, to have good friends. I think I forgot that for a while, things were different. You are one of those people I feel extremely lucky to have you in my life. I may not be your best friend like Peyt, but I like to think that I come in a close second. I hurt people in my life in some unforgivable ways recently, not anymore. I know that a silly dream is not worth risking the love of my family, my friends, just for selfish reasons. You all are my life, my world. I would die losing anyone of you. I'm going to be a better friend than I have been as of late," she promised as her voice cracked with emotion.
"You are a good friend Haley," Brooke said looking at her feet. "You deserve what you want for once out of life."
"I got what I want," Haley said. "I just wanted to let you know how sorry I am."
"I broke up with Nathan… I mean it was mutual," Brooke said out of the blue shocking herself and Haley who stared at her wide eye. It was Brooke's way of letting her know Nathan was free without delving into the painful truth of how their situation came to be. "We are not the same people we once were, we both knew that. Our lives are not destined to remain together forever like we once thought. We care for each other, but it's not the everlasting unbreakable love that two people should have. I want that, so does Nathan. In order for us to have that we must move on. It would be unfair to hold onto a relationship out of fear. We both deserve so much more," she told Haley who still sat shell shocked form the revelation.
"Are you ok?" Haley asked in concern. She never wanted to see her friends hurt, no matter if deep down she knew that she had caused a small fraction of it.
"I will be," Brooke said reassuringly. "All I know is that things will work out for all of us. That's makes me so optimistic about looking ahead to new things."
"I'm sorry," Haley apologized again feeling like crap.
"Don't be," Brooke said. "It's not your fault. We can't help who we love. The heart wants what the heart wants. It would be a tragedy to ignore it."
"Yeah," Haley whispered understanding perfectly. Her heart wanted Nathan so much at times it was damn near impossible to tell herself otherwise. As her and Brooke sat there quietly all of Haley's thoughts focused on Nathan, she wondered how he was. Did he feel completely heartbroken, was he off somewhere drinking himself into a stupor. She knew she probably shouldn't have cared, but she still worried if he was ok.
"Hales?" Jake said walking up on the two girls who were quietly sitting.
"Yeah," she said looking to Jake.
"I was sent on operation recover Haley. Your parents and Peyt are waiting in the car," he said.
Haley nodded as Jake went to the back of her wheelchair ready to push her to the car. "Are you coming?" she asked Brooke.
"Yeah, you should," Jake said wanting things to be ok between the two of them "We are going to order some pizza, watch a couple of movies. You should come with us," he encouraged.
Haley looked hopefully at Brooke wanting her to agree.
"Umm, would it be ok if I took a rain check guys?" she asked. "I promise we'll do this again really soon."
"Sure," Haley said kind of sadly. "We can do it another time."
"Thanks, I'll see you later. Tell Peyton I'll call her," Brooke said before turning to shuffle down the hall.
"She's going to hate me," Haley said quietly. "When she finds out about Nathan and me, she won't forgive me."
"Hey," Jake said walking around the chair to kneel in front of Haley. "She won't hate you. I mean if the fact that she's even talking to you now is a really good indication, everything will work out," Jake said giving Haley a little more information than he intended to.
"What do you mean that she's even talking to me?" Haley asked confused. "Why wouldn't she talk to me Jake?"
A burst of panic rushed through Jake's body as he stood nervously walking behind the wheelchair.
"I meant….um we should get going. Your parents are waiting."
"No!" she screeched frustrated. "Let them wait. What did you mean? You said that if she's even talking to me, then everything would be ok. I want to know what that was about Jake, please tell me."
"Hales, can we do this later?" he sighed heavily.
"Jake, please," she begged. "I deserve to know what that means. Tell me the truth, you're my best friend. If I can't count on honesty from you then who can I get it from?"
Jake moved once again to the front of her taking the seat Brooke had vacated. He could see the desperate pleading shining in her eyes waiting to hear what he had to say. He grabbed her hands into his own for comfort trying to prepare her for the truth.
"Brooke knows Hales, she knows about you and Nathan," Jake said.
Haley burst into tears right there not caring if they were in the middle of some hospital hall where anyone could see her. "How?" she tearfully asked. "Why didn't she say anything?"
"Nathan told her the truth. I guess she didn't mention it because it hurts to keep rehashing something so painful. I mean who wants to keep reliving something hurtful over and over again, I wouldn't," Jake said.
"Why didn't anyone tell me? You, Peyton, Brooke, Nathan, why? How could you all just let me stay in the dark like this? I had a right to know!" she angrily raised her voice as her tears continued to pour.
"Hales, you have so much on your plate right now," Jake said trying to make her understand. "Peyton and I didn't want to add to that. You pushed Nathan out of your room before he could tell you anything, that's what you told us. And you seriously couldn't expect for Brooke to tell you. She was dealing with it herself. I know your angry Hales, but take some responsibility here. You know now, and I'm sorry how you found out, but maybe it's for the best. I am so sick of all of these damn secrets between all of us. Enough!" he yelled.
Haley sat in her chair tears rolling down her face absolutely stunned by the tone Jake spoke to her in. Never had he been so short fused, he had never raised his voice at her like now, not even when she confessed to being with Nathan. She had expected something like that then, but not now. It completely knocked her on her ass.
"Can you take me to the car?" she asked not really looking at him.
"I'm sorry Hales," Jake said. "I never meant to..."
"My parents are waiting," she said not wanting to further the conversation.
Jake sighed before going to push her wheelchair, neither saying another word as they made their way to the elevators. Haley felt so confused trying to process everything she had learned. The biggest thing that boggled her mind was why no one had felt it was necessary to let her know what was going on. She knew Jake never meant to ambush her with it, or to purposely yell at her. But right now she didn't care. All she cared about was what this meant for all of them as friends. Were they even still friends?
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