Shikataro climbed out of his sack.
"Seventeen minutes!" she said, holding up a stopwatch.
"Shut up, Shikataro." Said Shikamaru.
"It was faster, but not fast enough!" Shikataro whined.
"You can ask ANYONE here, I was very adamant about your rescue." Shikamaru sighed.
"He was." Said everyone.
"Next time, it should be under ten minutes." Said Shikataro.
"Hey guys!" said Kiba, jumping up where everyone could see him. "You know what? I get the feeling that we're all traumatized from the beach so maybe we can just go—"
"Wait a second." Said Sasuke. "Kakashi was just in the middle of telling me what he did to Senjou."
"It's actually kind of funny." Kakashi said truthfully.
"Hey, where's my dad?" said Sasuke Two randomly.
Sasuke looked at Kakashi.
"And that's part of what makes it so funny!" Kakashi announced.
"He better not be with Itachi…ALONE." Said Sasuke, trying to remain calm.
"Well, if he was with Itachi then he wouldn't be alone." Said Naruto.
"You know what I mean!" said Sasuke as he turned around and grabbed Kakashi as he tried to tiptoe away. "WHERE is my son?!"
"Um…" Kakashi started.
"HEY DAD!!!" came a voice.
"LITTLE BROTHER!!!" came another.
Everyone turned around and looked out at the water to see two figures floating by while waving their arms around crazily. They all watched in silence as Senjou and Itachi bobbed in the water a little off shore.
Sasuke's grip on Kakashi became a little firmer.
"Well now." Said Kakashi. "How did they get THERE?"
"CAPTAIN KAKASHI SAID WE COULD SEE HIS PIRATE SHIP!!!" Senjou yelled through cupped hands.
Sasuke's grip on Kakashi became a LOT firmer.
"They're putting words in my mouth." Said Kakashi.
"It would be ONE thing if he was out there by himself…" said Sasuke through clenched teeth. "But he's out there…with ITACHI?!"
"Sasuke, calm down." Ino tried as she tried to pull Sasuke's death grip from Kakashi's shirt.
"I have no idea how they got out there." Said Kakashi. "One minute I was walking along…"
Sasuke grabbed Kakashi's shirt tighter.
"Is this how you thank the person who came to…" Kakashi started but Sasuke's glare got harder and at this point, Kakashi feared for his life.
"Sasuke, it's not a big deal," Ino said. "Just walk out there on the water and get Senjou."
Sasuke stood there taking deep hoot breaths.
"Senjou!" Ino yelled to her son. "Come back here!"
"They're just jealous." Itachi said.
"Why would they be jealous?" Senjou asked, having absolutely no concept of anything that would be negative.
"They probably asked to see Kakashi's pirate ship but he said no." Itachi explained.
"I'm going to count to three, Senjou!" came Ino's voice from the shore.
"Don't listen to her." Itachi said.
"But…" Senjou started.
"Come on Senjou." Said Itachi. "It's me, Uncky Itachi."
"But my mom will get mad…" Senjou said regrettably as he stepped off the barrel and walked back to the shore on the water.
"Uchiha Senjou!" said Ino, putting her hands on her hips once Senjou was on the sand again. "If you weren't eighteen years old, I swear I'd give you a spanking right now!"
Senjou lowered his head in shame.
"Whoa… he's eighteen?" Sasuke Two whispered to Hana.
"Well duh." Said Hana. "How old did you THINK he was?"
Sasuke Two shrugged. "Fourteen?" she tried.
"Don't tell HIM that." Hana advised.
Itachi also came trudging back to the shore as well. He had known all along that there was no pirate ship, he just wanted to spend some quality time with one of his nephews. "Well, way to ruin our fun, everyone!" he said as if he were a victim.
"Itachi, I swear if you step one more foot out of line then I'll—" Sasuke started.
"You'll what, Little Brother?" said Itachi, looking skeptical.
Sasuke only waved his finger around threateningly and was just about to take his rage out on Kakashi and teach him a lesson, when he realized that Kakashi had quickly slipped away when his attention was elsewhere.
"Okay…" said Kiba, realizing there was a lull in conversation. "How's about we all listen to my advice THIS time and head back to the house? Everyone has to get packed and stuff…"
"SOUNDS LIKE AN IDEA, KIBA!!!" said everyone as they gave him the thumbs up and then piled into various cars so they could get back to the house. Then they drove back to the beach, collected all the unconscious people and drove back home again.
After a little while, all the unconscious people awakened from their slumber of unconsciousness.
"What is THIS?" Sasuke Jr. demanded, looking in the mirror at his newly acquired black eye.
"We match!" said Pansuke, showing off the black eye that he had earlier. (Remember, Senjou punched him a day or two ago.)
"You will NEVER match me." Sasuke Jr. said as if he was offended.
"You COULD say I match too!" said Lil Gai as he showed off the two hand shaped bruises that he had on each cheek. "We're twins!"
"No." said Sasuke Jr. "It's bad enough I have this black eye but I'm not about to go around saying that I'm twins with you."
"WE'RE the only twins around here!" said Shika and Cho at the same time as they walked in. They both had their Sharingans activated and were walking around as if they didn't.
"Oh so you both got your Sharingans?" Sasuke Jr. asked.
"Of course!" said Shika.
"Are we not UCHIHAS?!" Cho demanded.
"Now all that's left is Inoshi." Said Sasuke Jr., giving Inoshi a condescending look.
"I'm not a ninja, Sasuke." Said Inoshi defensively.
"Yeah but that doesn't mean you can't at least TRY to get it."
"Maybe I was just never meant to get it." Said Inoshi. "Maybe I take after mom."
"You can use that as your excuse, but keep in mind that Mom was a ninja, not a flutist writer." Sasuke Jr. said.
Inoshi looked awfully depressed after that comment.
"I can't find Lee ANYWHERE!" said Kobiru as she went into the room where all the people with black eyes and bruises were hanging out. And Shika and Cho. "What am I going to do?"
"Didn't he regain consciousness and fight the ninjas?" Shika said.
"WHAT?!" Pansuke yelled. "Lee regained consciousness BEFORE me?!"
"Well yeah…" said Cho. "And he also doesn't have and hideous facial blemishes like you do."
"This can't be true!" said Pansuke as he whipped out his chart and looked longingly at it. Then he smiled deviously. "Well, I guess I own him at battle scars AND staying unconscious longer!"
He gave himself two more tallies.
Everyone else raised their eyebrows.
"Guys…" said Senjou as he came in and gave a sigh. "I was THIS close to seeing Captain Kakashi's ship…"
"Senjou." Said Sasuke Jr. going right up to Senjou and grabbing him by the shoulders so that he would pay attention to him. "Let me clarify this for you once and for all. Your so-called 'Captain' Kakashi is not really—"
"Pansuke!" said Aikan as she ran in. "It's so good to see you're conscious again!"
"Don't change the subject!" said Lil Lee as he was quick to follow.
"No matter how many times we discuss it, it's not going to change my feelings for you, or LACK of feelings for you, actually." Aikan said harshly.
"I think that's ANOTHER win for me." Said Pansuke as he put another tally on the sheet.
Lil Lee frowned upon the tally chart, and then decided it was time to take initiative. It's not like he had anything to LOSE. So he grabbed the chart and tore it up into a zillion pieces before Pansuke even had a chance to blink, and then punched Pansuke in the face, sending him through the wall and into the mysterious beyond.
"YAY LEE!!" cheered Kobiru.
"Don't you think that was a little excessive?!" Aikan demanded.
"No." said Lil Lee. "I've been waiting to do that for over ten years. I don't know why I was holding off for so long."
"I guess if Pansuke's chart still existed, you could give him another tally for getting another black eye!" Said Lil Gai.
"He gave himself a tally for—" started Lil Lee but then he stopped. "Never mind, I don't want to know."
"No." said Sasuke Jr. "No you don't."
"What were you saying, Sasuke?" asked Senjou. Sasuke Jr. turned back to Senjou.
"I shouldn't have to tell you this." Said Sasuke Jr. "Hana, MAYBE." Then he paused. "Hana eight years ago, MAYBE. But you and now?"
"Do I have XYZ?" Senjou asked, looking down to check his fly. Sasuke Jr. slapped his forehead and was about to continue when Sasuke stormed in.
"Senjou." He said in the most final tone ever. "You. Me. In the other room. Now."
"Aww…" Senjou said in a very dejected sounding tone as he walked into the other room with Sasuke, bowing his head low.
"What an adventure we had today, Shika!" Cho said with a hearty laugh, trying to get the attention back to them.
"We sure did Cho!" Shika said, equally willing to get the focus on him again. "And as usual, in the end everything worked out!"
"I love you, dear brother!" they both said in unison. Then they paused. "TWIN THING!!"
"How do you live with them?" Lil Lee asked Sasuke Jr.
"Well, for one thing, I don't." said Sasuke Jr. Then he stopped talking.
"And?" Lil Lee tried.
"And what?" Sasuke Jr. asked.
"You said 'for one thing'." Said Lil Lee. "What's the other thing."
"There is no other thing." Said Sasuke Jr. "I just don't live at home anymore and they do so I don't have to live with them."
"Whatever." Said Lil Lee with a sigh.
"Um…" came Hinata's faint voice as she poked her head in the giant hole in the wall that Pansuke had been punched through. "Who punched Pansuke through the wall?"
Everyone pointed at Lil Lee.
"LEE did." Said Aikan. "He's incredibly jealous of Pansuke and took his anger out on him in the worst way!"
"That was FAR from the worst way." Said Lil Lee. "And I'm NOT jealous of him! I just hate him."
"HEY!!!" said Kiba as he appeared where Hinata was nervously trying to accumulate some answers. "What happened to my wall?! Why is there a big Pansuke shaped hole in it?! Who is to blame here?!"
"It's Pansuke obviously!" said Kobiru. "After all, the hole IS in the shape of him!"
"That's right…" said Kiba, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. "Kobiru, I believe that is the only smart thing you have EVER said! I shall go and take Pansuke's life and force him to pay me for the damage and emotional suffering I have endured"
"Wait a second!" said Aikan. "Let's not forget who punched Pansuke into the wall, which was LEE!"
"WHAT?!" demanded Kiba. "KOBIRU!! How dare you lie to me!!"
"I wasn't lying!" said Kobiru. "It's the truth!"
"I'm more inclined to believe this random woman I don't know over you, Kobiru." Said Kiba. Then he paused and looked at Aikan. "Who ARE you, anyway?"
"That's Lee's son's wife." Explained Hinata.
"What?" said Kiba. "Has she been here the whole time?"
"No, she came about half way through the anniversary party." Hinata replied.
"Oh." Said Kiba. "That's random. I mean…I don't even know why Lee is here, let alone his son, let alone his son's WIFE!"
"Lee's here because he's married to Tenten, who I invited." Hinata said. "And their son is here too because he'd be left out if we didn't ONLY not invite him. And I think his wife just randomly showed up."
"I get it now!" laughed Kiba, feeling proud of himself. He stuck his hand out to Aikan. "Welcome to my house! My name is Inuzuka Kiba!"
"Rock Aikan." Said Aikan, shaking Kiba's hand.
"You're even still using my last name?" Lil Lee asked.
"Nothing's official yet." Said Aikan.
"Lies!" Lil Gai yelled bursting into tears. "It's because she still loves you Lil Lee and didn't want to make any rash decisions!"
"Why do you always have to put your two cents in?" Aikan asked Lil Gai.
"Because I'm Lil Lee's BROTHER!" Lil Gai said proudly.
Suddenly, Tenten came into the room carrying Kikei who was screaming.
"Take him." She said as she was just about to hand Kikei off to Lil Lee but then she paused, changed her direction and handed Kikei to Aikan instead. "YOU take him."
"What?" Aikan said, taking her son. She was just about to protest to Tenten but Tenten was WAY too fast and managed to sprint out of the room before anyone could catch her.
"You know he IS your son too." Said Lil Lee. "As much as you hate to admit it."
"WHAT?!" Aikan yelled over Kikei's screams.
"I said, he IS your son too!" Lil Lee yelled.
Sasuke Jr. leaned over to Tashoku.
"Where is our exceptionally well-behaved and attractive son?" he asked her.
"I think he's in the other room sleeping." Said Tashoku.
"Just as I thought." Sasuke Jr. said proudly. Unfortunately, no one heard that because Kikei was being far too loud.
"I hope my unborn child is well behaved." Kobiru said, putting her hand on her stomach like a pregnant lady.
"'MY'?" Pansuke repeated, sounding enraged as he hopped through the hole in the room. "Whatever happened to 'our'?"
"Well, Pansuke, I've noticed that your heart has started to waver." Kobiru sighed. "So I've decided that maybe our marriage wasn't meant to be."
"Kobiru, YOU'RE the one who starting the wavering." Said Tashoku.
"Yeah!" said Pansuke. "The only reason I'm wavering is because Aikan is wavering!"
"And the only reason I'm attracted to Pansuke is because he's wavering!" Aikan added.
"I'M not wavering!" Lil Lee whined.
"Are you four experiencing trouble in your marriages?" Kiba said.
"Dad…where have you been?" Tashoku said, sounding somewhat annoyed.
"Well excuse me for living!" said Kiba as he put his arm around Hinata. "But Hinata and I have been married for twenty-five years and our hearts have never wavered a SINGLE time! Pansuke and Kobiru… you two have been married for about a WEEK and you're already falling apart!"
"We've been married for longer than a week…" said Kobiru.
"Don't correct me!!" Kiba yelled. "My anniversary was yesterday so I'm always right today!!"
"Kiba, I don't think it's any of our business to get involved." Said Hinata.
"Wait!" said Tashoku. "PLEASE get involved. SOMEONE has to."
"What could I possibly do?!" Kiba said. "I don't even know Lee and his wife, and I just don't care enough about Pansuke and Kobiru to get involved."
"Don't bother!" said Kobiru. "Now that I realize my true feelings for Lee, my feelings could NEVER be reversed!!"
"Well, now that you've come to that conclusion, I hope you don't mind living by yourself." Said Lil Lee. "Because unless you learn to live with Pansuke again like you did before, I'm NEVER living with you!"
"Wait…" started Kobiru. "So if I learn to live with Pansuke, you'll marry me?"
Lil Lee paused.
"I never said that!" he yelled.
"Yes you did!" Kobiru yelled back.
"It's true." Said Sasuke Jr. "As much as I want to be on your side, you did say that."
"I don't think he meant it though." Said Tashoku.
"Of course he didn't mean it." Said Sasuke Jr.
"But he still said it!" Kobiru said passionately.
"Do I have to get the parents involved, here?" Kiba asked. "Because I will if I have to! You guys seem FAR from able to resolve this on your own!"
"Maybe that's a good idea, Dad." Said Tashoku.
"Kiba, you really shouldn't be getting involved." Said Hinata.
"I'm torn!" Kiba cried, looking from Tashoku to Hinata and then back to Tashoku. "My heart is torn between the two women of my life!"
"See!" said Kobiru. "Now you know how we feel!"
"Be quiet Kobiru!" said Kiba. "There is a HUGE difference between me not being able to decide who to side with between my daughter and my wife and me NOT killing you so…"
"Kiba…" said Hinata, tapping him on the shoulder.
"I meant to say you and your marital problems." Said Kiba with a forced yet still pleasant smile.
After a little bit of kicking and screaming, the two feuding couples were isolated in a room with Naruto, Sakura, Tenten and Lee to discuss a few things.
